Is Suicide An Unforgivable Sin? | Questions Grieving Christians Ask Ep. 6
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- Опубликовано: 23 мар 2023
- This episode is from MyGriefCare's Questions Grieving Christian Ask Series. For any mentioned downloads, more great grief support series, grief support resources and tools visit www.mygriefcare.com/
Anne-Marie Lockmyer and Ron Gray, LMFT, are professional grief specialists who both lost their beloved spouses. They run the Grief & Trauma Healing Network, LLC, have created MyGriefCare.com online grief support program and offer life-changing grief retreats for widows and other grief healing programs and services.
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QUESTIONS GRIEVING CHRISTIANS ASK: Is Suicide An Unforgivable Sin?
If you have lost a loved one to suicide, you know better than me the sense that an emotional wrecking ball slammed into your family. All losses are terribly hard, but there are some elements to a loss by suicide that can make your grief more complex. As a therapist, I’ve worked with many suffering family members grieving the loss of their loved one to suicide. They are crushed by the loss itself, the impact of unanswered questions, the shock, the guilt, the sense of stigma, and the self-doubt that most often follows a loved one’s death by suicide. And some family and friends also worry that their loved one may have committed an unforgivable sin.
But is suicide an UNFORGIVABLE sin? It seems clear that suicide is a sin, just as murder is a sin. Both involve the wrongful taking of a life. But virtually all biblical scholars do NOT believe that death by suicide is an UNFORGIVABLE sin. Here’s part of their reasoning: the bible tells us that all people who put their faith in Jesus Christ will be saved and have eternal life because our sins are forgiven. It also tells us that ALL sins can be forgiven other than blaspheming the Holy Spirit (which does not refer to suicide). And it tells us that NOTHING can separate us from God. Scripture seems crystal clear on these points.
You can rest in the promises of Jesus. But you might be wondering, where was God when your loved one was in his or her most desperate moment? I believe he was right there with your loved one, but your loved one was in too much psychological distress in those moments. God felt their pain, confusion, shame and desperation. I believe God’s heart was breaking in response to your loved one’s pain. God created us all with the gift of free will. The curse of free will, however, is that he cannot override our free will in order to prevent us from doing evil to other people - or ourselves.
I hope you receive some small comfort in clarifying that suicide is not an unforgivable sin. I also want to emphasize a point Anne-Marie and I consider to be so important and often gets lost in the aftermath of a suicide. Your loved one means SO MUCH MORE than their final act of desperation. It is essential that their life not be DEFINED by their death. We ALL do well to remind ourselves to gradually focus our thoughts and memories on how a person lived and less on how they died. It may take time to sort that all out. But, it is important to keep in mind.
Please remember you can download and print out the Episode Notes including the key points and some scriptural references pertaining to this episode. And, please consider posting a comment in the box below this video. Sharing our hearts is part of healing and helps others who read them.
Thank you for this
Thank you for this video. I agree with you. I lost my husband to suicide a little over 2 1/2 years ago, and I still love and miss him terribly. Some days are better than others, as we were together for 30 years, and I am now 75. No family or close friends. But I know Don loved Jesus, and I know God was right there with him when he made that last awful final decision to die. Yes, Jesus went through all that on the cross because he loved us so much, and when He did, He forgave all our sins. He also knew that Don wasn't in control when he took his life. If it were not for our Lord, I wouldn't have been able to get through all this. But I know He is always with me, and how much He loves me. And I know that my Don is with Him now, and at peace. I like your videos very much. God bless.
Your testimony in this comment reveals volumes about your deep and enduring faith. I'm glad that you are able to lean on God during this incredibly difficult path as you mourn the painful loss of your husband. Allowing yourself the time to grieve, showing kindness to yourself, and gradually adapting to life without him is the path. I'm envisioning (however trite this may sound) another set of footsteps alongside you on your path. May God turn his face toward you, may he make himself known to you at all times, and give you peace.
Amen sorry for your loss god bless
Good message. I knew guys I served in the Army with the ended their lives prematurely. It makes sense. His grace is infinite.
Thank you!Every little bit of inspiration makes a huge difference when your dealing with a loss
Rest in peace mother of my child💔🕊️ I will live for you and remember you as long as I breathe
Your post is very touching. And keeping your loved one alive in the sense of your deep and personal attachment to her is healthy and appropriate. Don't forget to also live for yourself and your child first and foremost. You can do both at once.
This helped me so much. Thank you
I think I need to go back to the hospital. I’ve been in and out of the hospital since I was 16, I don’t really want to go. I’m so ugly, I can’t stand it. The meds I’m taking are making me fatter and uglier. I feel like what I’m going through for the last 31 years is eternal damnation. I never mentioned my father because the situation is toxic and triggering. I was never really close with my father and neither was my half sister, his other daughter. One time, my father told my mother that I deserved to get sold into human trafficking and die on the streets. I never really told anyone that. You know my life story already. I was raped, jumped; had my ribs broken and molested and there was no one to comfort me. I think someone in either high school or middle school, maybe even elementary sold their soul to the devil just to mess up my life and put a curse on me. I read a lot of books on witches and demons sometimes, people will sell their soul for dark magic and or to hurt others with dark magic. I’ve had a messed up life since I was like 8 years old. I don’t remember when it was the last time I was happy or in a good place. I’ve never really felt loved by anyone, not even Jesus Christ. I don’t have a support system, my whole life, I’ve been alone. There is no hope for me. My ugly worthless ass don’t matter to anything or anyone. I’m sorry, but I’m gonna choose death this time
Your post is truly heartbreaking to read. In my words, it sounds like you were dealt a terrible hand in life so far. And, you may feel both helpless and hopeless that your life could ever be any better. It appears that you’ve also began to believe very negative thoughts about yourself - that you are actually ugly and useless. Those things are clearly not true to another person like me. But, I’m sure those thoughts seem very factual and true in your own mind.
If you haven’t already gone to an emergency room and asked for help, I plead with you to do so. Your note makes me think that you are feeling very unstable and it is essential that you get more stable. Please, please go get some help. They will help you get past this crisis. But, you are going to need some additional help so you won’t be depending so much on emergency type services.
First, if you are being helped in a hospital situation, make sure you don’t leave without medication. Medication can often help a person stay reasonably safe while they are doing some therapy. And you need to take it! Second, you’ll need to find a competent therapist who can address your trauma (which is extensive), the negative self-image you have internalized must be addressed so you can develop a truer belief of who you are, and a sense of self-reliance.
It may be that being part of a group, where people who have suffered like you have suffered, will help you realize that you are not so alone in this world and that there is always hope.
Of course, I’m sure I am oversimplifying your situation. And, I’m sorry that I cannot be of more direct help. But, I am praying to God as I write you this note that he will reveal himself to you in a way that will allow you to see the beauty of yourself, that you are just as worthwhile as any other person on earth, and that clinging to hope has brought many a person forward in life when they thought that nothing could ever be good.
May God bless you and keep you. May he turn his face toward you. May he supernaturally provide you will truth, love and peace that you’ve never experienced before in a way that you cannot deny.
Ron
@@Your-Grief-Guides Thank you Ron. Thank you for your wonderful message. I’m doing okay. I went to the hospital and I did get help