Why Do People Think We're Gay?
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- Опубликовано: 6 июн 2023
- When it comes to two guys being best friends, there’s none quite like Rhett & Link! In this episode, they discuss the challenges of navigating male relationships and whether they lean into the tropes or stray from the norm.
EB #384, Original Release Date: 06/05/2023
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There is the "If somebody hasn't accused you and your best friend of dating each other are you even bestfriends" it is quite accurate
Yes! When I hang out with my friend (and our herd of 7 kids between the 2 of us) people think we're a lesbian couple and they're our kids! We find it hilarious 😂, apparently we're loaded lol
I love this😂😂😂
Our friend group thought me and my best friend were dating due to how we acted towards each other. The only difference being, they were right about there being feelings 🫢
@@TheCosmicJester01 I am a straight man with lesbian bestie people "accuse her of being secretly straight"😂😂😂
Been roommates with my bestie (since middle school) for seven years now. We make married couples jokes constantly.
Getting vasectomies together seemed like the perfect time to say “I love you” to each other.
I don’t think Rhett is gay but link might be BI but who cares!!!!
It's so sad how narrow the role of a man can be that any showing of affection and caring is still considered feminine, and how sad that all things considered feminine can still garner so much hate.
I think Rhett&Link are very valuable as role models to other men that openly showing love to your friends and family make you no less of a man but more of one!
I try my best as a man to do this and be open and vulnerable with other men but it’s not easy for all of us cause lots men don’t even do it on purpose but lots of us hard to open up because traumas and standards of society placed on straight men in my instance and lots of us just never got anything beneficial from opening up like that and only pain from doing so kinda like subconsciously programs us to naturally not just open up so easy and it’s more of like trying to peal an onion there’s many layers to get to that point and the layers don’t always just come off so easy and the layers are simply just our way to protect our feelings sorta a defensive mechanism that developed but I do try to be more mindful and break free from that. But I do appreciate people like you who have your perspective on it cause definitely should be more normalized especially cause mens mental health is a huge problem because of these social constructs this also the reason I believe more men kill themselves than women because of the burden that can pile up on men who feel they can’t open up or express feelings!
Toxic masculinity which toxic males swear doesn't exist or is something to celebrate. Sad. So many males feel they have to show how macho they are as if anyone cares.
@@LovingDeantheGodMachine333 7😊77
@@LovingDeantheGodMachine333 7
The reason most men don't is because of women they are quick to tell a man to man up
Ever since I learned that Rhett’s dad was a professor and that he’d be a professor if he wasn’t doing this … it makes so much sense when I listen to him talk
He is a flawless communicator. When it counts, he listens closely, he thinks, and he speaks.
I have to say that Link said something really powerful in this. I have always been very resentful that I have to be the one who always initiates the hang-out or the movie etc. I never thought about the fact that making themselves available when I call or text and hanging out is their way of saying they care and that reaching out just isn't their form of expression. That makes me feel so much better about my friendship style.
Some of the best friends for homebodys are the people who say "hey let's go do this."
I still understand that frustration though. Haven't watched the video yet, but yeah
What about people that don't answer texts or phone calls either 😂😂 that's always been my experience
Or try to make plans to hang out or make the plans and then just ignore all texts and phone calls to make sure the plans are still on? Been my experience with literally every single person I've ever been in contact with besides family
@@katc2040I know how you I feel! Don’t take it personally, people are flaky and not reliable. Family is the only ones you can really rely on❤
Personally I think people who assume Rhett and Link are gay just because they’re close just means they’ve never experienced a true long lasting super close friendship before. These two are essentially true brothers at this point.
I love how when two guys are just very comfortable around one another because they’ve know each other for ages and are so close, they’re perceived as being gay.
And even if they were, there’s nothing wrong with that either.
Every long lasting friendship I've had has ended up with them confessing they like me at one point or another (guy or girl) and this also happens to me with short term friendships too but much more casually like I'm attracted to you. It really warps my worldview of friendships and relationships.
exactly, when i first shipped them i thought they might be together but obviously realised they weren't since they TOLD us and i found out they had wives and families etc. what astounds me is how some people will ignore these facts☠it's disrespectful
i think it has more to do with culture and toxic masculinity and misogyny than people never having had a close friend themselves. it's sadly so, so rare to see men openly affectionate and vulnerable with each other, even less rare for them to act that way in public. so when we do see it, it's honestly natural to assume there might be feelings there, because, at least in the u.s., men don't tend to act that way with each other unless they _are_ romantically involved. it's literally what we've all been taught our whole lives. little girls are told they have close, emotional friendships, and little boys are told they have rough friendships where feelings are never touched on. it's ingrained in our culture, because in our society it's so frowned upon for men to be anything other than macho and tough and unemotional. talking and emotions=feminine, and feminine=bad. though as more and more men act like rhett and link and it becomes normalized, people will stop automatically assuming it's gay. honestly it's not a bad thing that people think they're gay to begin with, their reactions to those assumptions really help destigmatize it. it's not an insult to be called/assumed gay. but like link said, honestly people who think deep friendships like that can only mean romance, are missing out on some wonderful, meaningful, and possibly life-long friendships. really hope to see this change in my lifetime.
@@MonAhgasInsomniAroELF how does it have to do with misogyny?
I think it's quite literally those people who ship anything gay because "aww so cute!" It's weird. Not that being gay is weird. It's just weird to want any male duo irl or fictional to be gay. Now if that's your thing personally, cool. You can be into whatever. It's just weird when that kinda thing is pushed and spread. I don't consider myself an lgbt+ ally, but I don't hate people who are part of that community. I just have my own views that don't align with theirs and don't support it.
My husband has had his best friend long before I met him & they're super close.
From the very beginning I've called his friend his "man-husband" & I call his wife my "wife-in-law". 😄
It's been awesome to watch these men support each other through the years. ❤️
I feel like really close friendships are kind of like being married minus the legal and financial stuff. You love a person deeply and you know them better than anyone else. They're often involved in all your major life decisions and there for your kids. I've had friendships that weren't in the slight romantic but I loved those people with my whole being. Relationships are heckin great
I think it's very sweet that Rhett basically opens with, "Science hasn't caught up with the non-binary people, but we're gonna shout you out so you know we see you." And I'm not even non-binary!
Yeah because it’s a government made up term
@@taurez_98 what about the Polynesian third gender roles that have been around longer than the United States has been a country?
nonbinary people don't exist
@@ttaylor3294 3rd gender doesn't support non-binary which is a reactionary position on not catering to gender norms while ignoring that you can do that without denying your biology.
@@lovefist86 have you researched the non binary (3rd spirit/ third gender) customs they have over there?
I felt like we were all in therapy together & it was a super constructive session.
You can tell when therapized people are having a conversation lol
Maybe you guys don't feel this way, but your kind of friendship transcends traditional meaning. I have a best friend like that. She's not just my best friend, she's THE best friend, and has been for over 15 years now. Because of that, our lives are so connected. My life would be unrecognisable if she wasn't in it.
What’s that like? 😭 I wish I had one.
I understand what you mean. My best friend is THE best friend. We’ve been friends for 10+ years and same to what you said, my life would be unrecognizable without him in it.
Maybe someday for me..
My best friend and I were inseparable. Texted or talked every day. We were mistaken for a couple MANY times, which (of course) never bothered either of us. It just meant we were doing friendship right. In a crowd, if my kids couldn’t see my wife or I, they would run to him next as their safe place. We never said “I love you”, but to be honest, that was never our style and we both knew it, regardless. I hope more people, men especially, are open to and can find that type of friendship.
So sorry you've written this all in the past tense.
@@wrathika Thank you so much. The second anniversary of his passing was a few weeks ago, so it has been helpful to remember better times. He was an amazing human being.
That is devastating. Sending a huge virtual hug to ya brother 🙏🏿
@@ChristopherCherry02 I genuinely appreciate that so much. Thank you for letting me share his memory.
@@jjuntureknowing that your best friend has passed made reading your comment so much more sentimental, I hope to find a friend that close one day. My best friend and I are fairly close but unfortunately not as close as we could be
I think it’s unfortunate that there are people who refuse to believe they aren’t romantically or sexually involved. We should be celebrating when straight men are able to be this close to each other because it is more difficult typically
Link and Rhett love each other without having to say it
I think that's a deeper kind of love too when you already know it without having to say it all the time
Yes! I believe Link also briefly mention something along the lines of how saying “I love you” a lot can make it lose its meaning (for some people! I understand this, but it’s definitely not the case for everyone)
Platonic love. They're like brothers without being brothers.
As a non-binary person, thank you guys for always being so willing to learn and understand other people's life experiences. The concept of non-binary identities is starting to become more wildly recognized, but it's still considered socially acceptable to disregard being non-binary as a legitimate state of being. Just hearing a prominent internet figure openly acknowledging the validity of non-binary identities means so much to so many people.
I’m one of the “anti lgbt” as most would call me. Can you tell me what that means? You’re non binary, can you explain that?
@@alliedbrandon1355first of all yikes, second of all it just means they don’t feel like a boy or girl they just feel like… them. they don’t identify with any genders cause they don’t feel like any genders.
@alliedbrandon1355 it's not my job to explain basic shit to bigots who have the internet and can just do their own research.
@@alliedbrandon1355non-binary just means your gender identity doesn’t fall into binary/traditional male or female. Its not a third gender, just an umbrella term for several different things, which sometimes includes intersex people.
@@cookiesandpudding8485 Okay, I understand the premise of it, but it’s not possible. Unless you’re someone with an extremely rare case where you have XXY, it just can’t happen. I actually know someone who is XXY and they’re still very clearly a boy. Why not just call it what it is? You’re pretending to be non-binary. Just like if I say I’m a girl, I’m not actually a girl, I’m just faking it.
In my friendgroup we say “There’s no love like love between men,” and that means the old married couple bromance kind of love. And I’m glad we got that right. 😁
the validation when Jenna made a point and before Link shared any of his point of view he said “that makes total sense and that’s helpful.”
miraculous
I'ma steal that for sure!
I don't think Rhett and Link really realize how special and unique their friendship really is. it's not a type of friendship that you could easily compare with some articles or studies.
Find me another pair of male best friends, who have been friends for over 38 years, created so many things together, went through so many changes and had each other at every step of the way. okay, I will wait.
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck?
omg i LOVE your pfp
this is a bit of a outside source, but there's a band called Super Junior and two of the members have been best friends since they were 14. The group is still active, but they created their own unit together and the member, Donghae, wanted to do solo music but is a bit more shy and he asked Eunhyuk, the other member, to do it with him cause he felt comfortable on stage with someone else, specifically him. He even would have him come to his solo stages cause he didn't like being alone. He even wrote songs specifically for Eunhyuk cause he didnt get many in their group and he liked his dance and voice. Donghae has given Eunhyuk's mother money for a family trip and Eunhyuk had done the same for his parents. They have the keys to each other's houses and even just drop by whenever. In Korea, men have to enlist and they enlisted together cause they didnt want to have to go two years without being together. And this week, they announced starting their own company together.
Now they're both 37. It's a 23 year friendship and they're the pair in the group that remains together all the time. Everyone else renewed their contract with the company, but they decided to leave together (but remain in the group).
@@angietoonz6605 I'm not familiar with kpop or this group but that sounds like an incredible friendship, thanks for sharing! And them enlisting together because they didn't want to be apart for that long is so sweet 🥺
People seem to think that people who are gay aren't and people who aren't gay are.
The conversation about girls calling their girl friends girlfriends without a second thought made me realize something. Sure, men don't call their boy friends boyfriends, but neither do women. There's this separation that insinuates men just can't connect the same way unless it's romantic. At best, we call them "guy friends," which is fine, but it's interesting how strong that wall is there to separate men from emotional intimacy and vulnerability.
It also made me think how proud I was when one of my male friends was becoming very open and vulnerable with all of his friends, regardless of gender, in a healthy and positive way. It makes me feel very positive about his future.
Yeah. I think it's important to get over those barriers and allow ourselves to be close. It took us a while but now me and all my guy friends regularly say I love you. It's really nice tbh. Whenever we add a new member I'm always waiting for the moment when it's okay to say it and be openly affectionate and loving. I've always felt deeply about my crew and I'm glad we're able to say it and show it
For me it's also about the infantilisation of women - it's standard for people to refer to a woman as a girl, but a man is very rarely referred to as a boy. So it's semantically easy to rehome girlfriend in the different context of friendship, but not boyfriend.
@@Pergolesi1736true, personally I have always HAAAATED when a woman calls her friend her girl friend…always idk why but it has always irked me even when I was a kid 🤣
@@120bakerndfor me it was always just confusing because I never knew if they meant like actual girlfriend lol and like.. I dunno it's weird imo but fine, its a you do you sorta deal
women seem to not be sexually into the guys who are vulnerable, so id say theyre being pretty smart
these two just make me feel so safe man
Link mentioning that just being willing/making time to the person who reaches out shows love is a great way to see that. I’m horrible about reaching out and initiating getting together with friends, but they reach out to me 98% of the time, I’m available and will make the time to see them. I know i need to do better about reaching out but that makes me feel better.
This reminds me of when I first met my boyfriend’s best friend and I genuinely thanked him for being a supportive friend in his life because I could tell how important and significant that connection is to him. And the best friend was instantly tense, told me I am super cheesy/sappy, but like MONTHS later he said thanks for saying that. Stereotypical masculine dynamics are fascinating.
Rhett comes in with the science and academia and Link's always there to bring out something so poignant and beautiful epiphanies to tie it all in.
I am a woman who grew up with a distant father and a brother who was always doing activities. For years (I am 36) I didn’t realize men had deep emotions and platonic love for each other. I’ve been watching Rhett and Link since my 20s and they single handedly showed me the deep love and affection between male friends.
As someone who’s a proud member of the non-binary community, thank you. Thank you for making us feel seen. It means so much coming from two famous internet guys like you. It doesn’t happen very often, so when it does, just know we are so thankful!!!❤
When I hung out with my friend Nick, people would assume the same. But we hung out because same brain. Not related, but we felt like brothers without the nagging and fighting.
Amen to that brother. I'm 19 and ive been hanging out with my friend saksham for about 8 years. And it's because we have the same brain too! We think alike,although sometimes there are differences which get resolved. And we are close like actual brothers too! As the saying goes, brother from another mother!
This is one of the parts of being a transgender guy. Growing up with girlhood and womens style friendship has made being an adult man pretty lonely, because I feel like a lot of times I am always the person seeking learnability and closeness, and it feels like a lot of my guy friends just don't need it in the same way. I still find that I'm just closer with mostly women and nonbinary people than I am with men. It doesn't help that I can feel like I'm more sensitive than men are allowed to be, so I have to act like it doesn't hurt if someone punches my arm or something, rather than just being like hey dude don't punch my arm. You can just say hi normally. I'm still not sure how to navigate it.
Yeah :(
I never liked the arm punching. I agree to just say hi
I’ve been watching and listening to content from Rhett & Link for many years. This podcast may be the one thing that connected with me and landed on my heart better than anything else they have ever put out. This conversation just hit home! After having survived two life threatening medical emergencies, I have found myself saying “I love you” SO MUCH more often to all of the people in my life. Guy friends included. Perspectives do evolve with life experiences.
Definitely felt rhett when he described jessie as his closest friend - i became a widow at 30 and it has been very very hard losing my partner, my best friend and my spouse with his death. 💕
And i'll say this being widowed and being single are very very different concepts
@@dezzyLmc Hope you're doing well now! Being widow sounds more painful, I can only imagine the pain you've felt losing your significant other. I'm single but just the thought of building and maintaining a relationship with another being, sharing your life and experiencing the world with them, then just losing the connection because they died is just tragic to think about.
What’s the time stamp to listen to the part where he refers to how wife as his closest friend?
I think you two have the most beautiful friendship and it’s so healthy! You are such a wonderful example of how to do friendship!
1:18:29 love it Link! Seek that validation boy!
Just kidding. He should’ve definitely answered you without having to repeat your statement. Rhett was just busy 😂
as a trans man, I'm really glad I have Rhett and Link to look up to as masculine figures in my life. They have such a healthy way of expressing themselves and their affection and masculinity.
I never thought you guys were gay I could feel yall were life long buddies( I'm gay yall I can tell)
because ya'll are the platonic soul mates. Friendship like this is rare.
Great discussion, it could be explored in more episodes. Generally speaking, men are told to not seem vulnerable and this takes a toll in the way they relate to other men. Kinda sad.
It's so strange because they are told to not be vulnerable but i have also seen men saying to only be vulnerable with their guys and not with their gf/spouse and its just... weird, its a sort of void of emotions, making it almost impossible for them to be vulnerable on a societal level
Listening to Ear Biscuits reminds me of the conversations I wish I could have with all of my friends but they are some of the most emotionally unavailable group of friends on the planet💀
I had the same experience where me and my best friend were assumed gay because we hung out pretty much all the time, since we got along so well. Also from a smaller town.
Funny how smaller towns are usually judgemental of homosexuality but are very quick to project it onto any 2 guys who hang out a lot lol my small town was the same way.
There's definitely a lot of toxic masculinity in how people view male friendships. The notion that men can't be emotionally vulnerable in front of other men really harms male friendships. I remember when I graduated college, and my three roommates and I (we had lived together our final 2 years, other than the one semester when one of us lived abroad) walked together to get our diplomas, and my parents were shocked that we were still close friends who actually wanted to celebrate the moment together, and there were more than I liked assumptions that maybe we were gay (none of us were). Prior to that, I'd only had a couple long-term friendships with other men. It was only after I realized it was silly and that there's nothing about being open with male friends or having male friends that made me less of a man.
Love the deep dive into this topic!! Thanks for sharing you guys 😄 much approached and much love to yall 🫶
I love both of you guys so much because of how y'all have helped me grow as a person. I know y'all will never see or read this, but you guy's are a beacon of positivity for a lot of us southern boys who are are more liberal and love our gay friends and family. I know i don't know y'all but I think you guys are great.
I absolutely LOVE this episode. You guys are fantastic for talking about this. And your song lyrics are SO clever - thank you for existing and spreading intelligence and teaching people how to treat others well!!! ❤
This was so good. Thank you for being vulnerable and informative.
Not to go all When Harry Met Sally on you, but how about your male-female friendships? It would be fun to hear your perspective on how those are those different.
smart t shirt choice rhett!
Just a thought, it is really interesting that men tend to call other men that they’re close with “brother” or similar to one. Personally I find that women rarely do the same with the term “sister.” Coming back to the topic of men lacking a normalcy with terms of love for eachother, perhaps this use of ‘sibling terms’ in male relationships comes from us women having a relationship space for close friendships that men are taught and trained to ignore or view as “wrong.”
I'm not sure that's true. My best friend is my sister and I have another friend who I called family. And I've heard other women do this but it might be a cultural or maybe even a queer thing.
@@juliet6200I have noticed that its more normal to call people your family in queer spaces (im queer) compared to cis het spaces (other than men calling their friends brother). I think its because chosen family is normal in queer spaces.
absolutely! i am also queer and family terms are commonly used within the community. i should have clarified that this is in reference to heterosexual women who are also likely to call a friend, “girlfriend.”
One of my favorite episodes close to the enneagram episode. I love the introspective topics. I love hearing the way you guys are different yet similar. So cool. I'm 26 and have a hard time at friend making. You guys give me hope 😄
i hope the kid who wrote “Rhett and Link are gay”, wrote your names in that order bc he thought it sounded better too
My grandfather took 0.5 seconds into a GMM episode when I was a kid to immediately conclude that you were lovers and vocally announce his thoughts to the family.
that’s so incredibly sad
@@bgingerichhe was raised in a very sad world. The Fort Worth projects during the Great Depression by an alcoholic father and then was sent to Germany. Worked a soul crushing job in the military industrial complex all his life just to be hung out to dry by his employer of 30 years. He’s remarkably kind and loving considering the context of his upbringing. That’s thanks to my grandmother who has always been radically progressive. I love him very much, I find it helps to treat it like it’s an illness he has.
the loving and respectful friendship here warms my heart ❤️
A book that I’ve been meaning to finish is The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity and Love by bell hooks, she writes a lot about love expression among men
Every single person on earth should read that book. And "All About Love". Revolutionary. 👍🏼
the portion on guys bonding via activities reminded me of a saying my grandma always said "busy hands make idle tongues" especially if me or a male cousin wasn't communicating with her or being dodgy, she'd have us do something repetitive like peel potatoes or shuck beans from the garden and it'd always make it easier for me to open up for some reason
that's so interesting, it much more easy for me to have heavy conversations if the other party is doing something, like driving, not to distract them of course but because you don't have to focus on the tules of conversing (ie eye contact, facing each other, no long pauses)
14:28 "Hey bro, Lets talk about that"
Thumbnail made me actually LOL that look Rhett is shooting lol
Great episode!
I wish Rhett would say, "I love you,' to Link. I think he would say it back and maybe cry
1:18:40 Awh
Even as a woman I feel like I'm missing the intimacy with friends that these two have. It feels so hard to make friends with other gen z people. Idk if things are different now or if it's always been this hard for everyone.
Yeah it's definitely a lot harder than it used to be
Making friends as a grown adult is hard. Especially when you’re not married, nor have kids. But hey if you wanna be friends I’m here for it.
Absolutely loved Link’s insight on friends who are responsive but not initiators. I am the initiator friend and love when people reciprocate that trait, and I sometimes have a hard time when they don’t. But his insights were super helpful and I’ll definitely be thinking about it all week.
One of my favorite shows; Merlin, has two male characters who are close friends and are often shipped. I obviously don’t care if they were gay (I’m queer) but I personally like looking at them as best friends more because so often men in shows have very one dimensional friendships while their friendship is so strong and wonderful
Actually, the writers did intend for them to be together, but the BBC wouldn't let them.
It’s sad that two lifelong male friends can’t show affection without someone thinking they’re gay.
@@dd4850 Yes being gay is totally okay but they aren't why would they of been with the same women all these years if they wore? That's the difference.
people thinking they're gay really isn't the sad part. it's not like that's a bad thing. the sad part is that people think those kinds of relationships can only exist between romantic partners. that platonic relationships can't be just as (and sometimes even more) deep and meaningful as romantic ones. it means so many people are missing out on a potentially wonderful friendship in their lives because of how our society's deeply ingrained toxic masculinity and misogyny has shaped everyone's thinking/perspectives.
exactly lol.
Love you guys 👌🏽
All my life I have told my mom that I love her every night before going to bed, every time we part like one leaves the house to go somewhere, and every time we hangup the phone. It's weird saying it to my siblings for some reason. I do NOT like people touching me so we do not do hugs unless she's sad and even then she's kind enough to keep it brief for me.
I understand Rhett's disclaimer about the studies being on each end of the spectrum, I'm like Jenna. Actually, in most of the scenarios discussed, my girl friends and I act more like the males. But I wanted to comment about Rhett's disbelief about online friends: I've had online friends since 2008. I consider them as close and intimate as my friends here. But they're not threads or discussion groups, they're 3 individual women that I connected with online and have become close. Distance or physical contact don't matter. In fact, because we're connecting online, we're more intimate: most of our "activities" is emotional sharing, instead of golfing, hiking, etc. (I'm Rhett's & Link's age)
I totally agree! Long term online friendships are different and more emotionally intimate to in person because of the lack of physical/inperson contact.
I agree!!
I met many people online and some of them became close friends. I feel like I can trust them and feel closer to them than to my irl friends.
It might sound impossible to some people, but online friendships are definitely real 🥰
Greetings from Brazil ~
As a 24 year old I kind of agree with the generality of guys bonding over hobbies and women bonding over more emotional conversation but with my best friend since first grade we always keep each other in check with our mental heath and physical as well. I also never had a hard time telling him in front of others how much I love and appreciate him.
My best friend and I talk basically every day, but she lives in a different state. I really only have this one best friend and her cousin as true friends. It drives our husband's nuts talking 3-8 hours in a day but we find peace in it we spend a lot of time alone so our voices fill the void.
Good topic :)
The episode we've all been waiting for
They have an episode called “have we experimented with eachother” and it’s somewhat similar! This was a deep dive for sure tho and I’m here for it 😄
Love you guys
I’m only about halfway through and this is all really interesting food for thought. The mention of the use of “the L word” really made me realize that when I was a child, I would constantly use it with basically all of my family (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) as well as close friends and now at 23 years old, I rarely ever do. I don’t end conversations with it, the closest I come to using it is when my grandma tells me she loves me, we have a bit that I reply with “I know” but then usually follow up with “me too”. I’m afab nonbinary and not sure if that makes any difference. Maybe there’s some internalized issues that if I want to appear more masculine, I should be less vulnerable? But I think that this tendency of using it less was already true before I even realized I was nonbinary so I don’t think that’s all of it. I also think a lot of the stereotypical differences between male and female friendships are becoming less prevalent and I think a lot of it is due to the ways that young people interact on social media and how that affects their interactions irl. I think calling someone out of the blue just to chat is unacceptable and I think most people my age would agree.
this is a funny episode title to start pride with lol
Omg the deep end of the pool analogy was SO GOOD.
I ALWAYS tell my friends & (some coworkers im really close with) that i love them or really appreciate them.
Having friends whove told me that talking to them & telling them i love them helped them from feeling alone. You never know what someones going through or when the last yime youll see them will be. Its always best to tell them you love em after seeing them so they KNOW that this relationship means alot.
Hetero Life mates is an incredible term to use for the connection that you two have! I have the immense privilege to see the friendship of my husband and his hetero life mate (who have 20yrs in) and then the amazing friendship of our son and his who have been two peas in a pod since birth! My son is 6 months older! So I get to see two generations of the same friendship, it's incredible and trippy! My son and his BFF refer to themselves as brothers, not friends! And they truly are! And I feel that is the two of you! So please keep it going and creating!
Ironically enough, a college friend of mine DMed me out of the blue today just to tell me she thought of me and ask me how am I. Even as a woman, my instinct was about to reply with a plan. I'm bad at maintaining friendships, I've just been lucky that my friends are extroverts that are keen to reach out even if I don't always reach back. 😅
So thankful that I decided to listen to this episode before typing my response! 🙌
This is good to learn about for anyone. I'm the kind of person who struggles initiating things most times, unless I come up with an idea and think "I want to do this with x" instead of "I miss hanging out with x, lets think about what we can do" and I have made a bunch of new awesome guy friends a thing ive wanted for a very long time. I like how relaxed they are about things, I feel like with my female friends I have to be extremely specific with how I say something because I am afraid theyll take it the wrong way. I can be a bit more lax with male friends and they are teaching me to take a chill aswell and to take things less personally. Its something Ive needed for a long time. We havent had much times where we talk about our problems because I like to do that and it helps a lot but maybe itll come with time.
I gratefully have a best friend relationship similar to yours in that we’ve known each other since preschool. We put active effort into our friendship but there isn’t the need to “fit” her into my life, she just is and everyone im close to just knows she is.
rhett's constant acknowledgment of the lqbtqia+ community means so much to me
I think the saddest thing is that I can notice a lot of the things they talk about in this episode still apply to how me and my close friends operate their friendships, despite being freshman/sophomores in college. The one thing I've noticed is that more guys are open to presenting a deeper topic and mentioning it, but due to how we've grown up and learned to deal with grief, no one knows how to respond beyond just basic "I'm sorry about that, man" or "You alright, bro?".
I also love having Jenna's perspective on this as well
I really relate to what Rhett was saying about being ok with social events but not really seeking them out. I really loved this episode ❤
I’ve been struggling a lot with friends not reaching out lately as I have just graduated high school and everyone has been busy but seeing you’re guys’s perspective on making time when you do made me think about that in a different light
My white cis hetero self learned the term “zucchini” which means a relationship with a strong emotional bond that isn’t romantic. You are each others zucchini’s 😊
I absolutely adore Rhett's use of the word "gendrum", you can just feel how out of water his, never grown up hearing about this, like a baby.
the title is too funny lol
I’m not taking that out of context, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think it was sweet,Link. I literally said, “aww”.
My best friend and I were tight from fourth grade on. We were also hearing rumors that we were lesbians all through high school.
I had a friend group in high school. I was the one who wasn’t afraid to say I love you and I value our friendship. It really bothered me when they started saying I was gay behind my back (nothing is wrong with being gay) because of the negative connotation they gave it. Most guys are so weird about showing their love for a friend.
Normalise close male friendships. ❤
That 1984 video is great
When are you going on Cold Ones, brothers?
“Why do people think we’re gay?” *me remembering the time on dirty 30 when they spooned and then Rhett smiled…😭❤️🤟🏽*
LOL either way I don't care u guys are people and who share your lives and dreams who are incredibly uplifting and gifted with lots of hugs so I call it A Brilliant Friendship 😊😊❤
Because y'all know more about each other than they know about their best friends of a couple years. A Gay Couple is the closest thing people can describe.
Not necessarily. You could say brother or family
@@taurez_98but family isn’t always that close. To me their friendship is more like being a couple because they choose to stick together
Until they breakup
@@Catherine4942 as someone with siblings I’d say family is pretty accurate, and I don’t even like my family a lot of times.
@@lolcandyyy lol I also have siblings. R&L are on another level imo
I started expressing the value (saying "I love you" and how much I care about them) and it makes me happy..
Fragile masculinity is a huge issue. Along with homophobia in our society. Kinda goes into why mental health is more of an issue with men due to the stigma around emotions, feelings, what is deemed as feminine, etc
Those problems are less and less common in younger guys.
But yeah I agree, as a man who is very in touch with his emotions I can definitely say that a lot of my guy friends struggle to open up properly and usually take a good few months of toying with an idea before properly talking to me about it.
Fun fact: Where I'm from in Québec, the word "chum" has evolved from english through the centuries and we now use it to either describe a male romantic partner (boyfriend) or a really close homie (boy friend). Straight men will call their best friends "chum" even if it is also more commonly used to refer to a romantic partner. I think it's neat.
In Australia you’d just be good mates! 10.21pm . Wednesday 7 th
Was not prepared for this title lol
What's to prepare for?
Ikr? Usually I listen to these in a leisurely mood but I clicked on this one so fast.
As a small town nonbinary person, I find this conversation about same-gender friendships really interesting. I have several close friendships with men and women but I don't have any close connections to other nb people. The few that I have been able to build a level of connection with has been pretty cool to have someone who has a similar experience to me, but I get so few opportunities that I feel like it's less smooth or common than guy friendships or gal friendship just because there's so few of us here. Really interesting to learn about the binary experience of friendships and gender relations
Well the gender of your friendship shouldn't necessarily matter. Just focus on having great friends with the people who are close to you.
And if you really want someone to talk closely to about your nonebinary experiences then try supplementing it with online connections.
Not the same but there's a lot of passions I have and have absolutely no friends in real life who share those passions so I found groups of online friends who share those passions that I talk to about them.
I love that Rhett wore an Elton John shirt for this episode
🎶 it’s guy love between two guys 🎶