The Hardest Thing I've EVER Had To Admit
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- Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
- This video is kind of the rest of the story that I've never been brave enough to share.
It's time, it's out and as hard as it Is to sometimes admit these things, it's the only way to move forward.
I have a chronic phobia (Emetophobia - A fear of Vomiting) and an eating disorder (ARFID to be precise) I don't have body dysmorphia mine is more down to food historically causing me such physical problems.
BUT I've ended up in a spot in life where my coping strategies and the way I have managed to keep me above water has stopped working so it's time to get some help!
Here we are, none of this is said for sympathy more just to be honest as I have always have been as much as I can.
Thanks as always and let's get this journey underway!!
Georgie xx
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The backstory if you're new here.
I'm Georgie, 39 year old mum of one. I battled Cervical cancer when I was 24 and have lived with endometriosis, PMDD and problems with scarring ever since (isn't being a woman a blast) so as you can imagine every day can be different.
I'm a single mum and have been for 12 years, my daughter Arabella will dip in and out of videos as and when she wants to.
We have horses (and ponies) mostly retired, a Cocker Spaniel puppy called Beatrix, a Chihuahua called Logan, a very suave black cat called Archibald (Sir Archibald if we are being correct) and live in a little hose in Portishead, Bristol.
I have a love for interior design which has been unleashed again and always work towards the cottagy vibe, doing my own DIY most of the time (yes I'm one of those very proud women that won't ask for help)
Come along and join in the chatty videos, the pretty videos (oh I forgot to mention I'm also a commercial videographer and photographer)
Anyway, Welcome and see you soon or another video!
Georgie
I used to watch your original channel. Absolutely loved your vlogs and charity shop hauls. So good to see you back. Hope you are feeling a bit better. 🩷
Both my daughters have emetophobia. They both as children never vomited so I think that built it up in their heads to something really scarey. My eldest daughter had a complete meltdown about it and ended up at her gpwho sent her for CBT which did help to a point. She was adamant she would never have children in case she suffered with morning sickness but has had two children,luckily she didnt have any symptoms with the first but was really bad with the second and bizarrely it was that that seemed to ( I won’t say cure ) lessen the fear, she still fears it but doesn’t go into a complete meltdown any more.
My youngest is still suffering with this phobia and it’s terrifying for her, people just don’t understand how frightening it can be, she is now on anxiety meds for quite severe general anxiety disorder which has calmed things down slightly.
This phobia should not be underestimated at all and needs to be taken really seriously. I work for the NHS and part of that job is working with children and young adults with eating disorders ,a fear of vomiting can cause all sorts of problems that lead to different eating disorders.
You did mention that you are interested in things like somatic tracking and I wonder if that could help with some of it. Quite clearly you should not have been force fed as a child and your body is reacting to that trauma. I do hope things get better for you and that all your tests are easy and uneventful. The endoscopy you went to should never have been attempted without sedation in your case,what on earth were they thinking
Anita, your poor girls but well done to the eldest for having two children, This was also a HUGE fear for me when I was trying to get pregnant with Arabella, in truth I was so focused on getting pregnancy after being told it would be a struggle after cervical cancer that that hyper focus overtook the emetophobia. I still struggle when Arabella is ill but we get by, this is another motivator to overcome it because I really don't want her ending up with it. and it's very easily transferred between families.
I have a HUGE interest in somatic and general therapies and am using that as a vent to occupy my very fast paced mind through this process as I CAN be lured down the garden path of fixating on my health after such bad luck and learning is a much healthier thing to do in this instance. I feel compelled to help people so maybe this is the beginning of that journey.
You are right Emetophobia is a crippling phobia that can branch out in to all sorts of other phobias so there needs to be more research done in to it and how to ease it for patients. people like you in the NHS can only be a blessing with what you've gone through with both of your girls xx
Well done for your honesty 👏 ❤xx
Thanks Janine xx
Sending you lots of hugs Georgie. I used to follow you on your old channel and I’ve just found you again! You are such a strong lady and I look forward to seeing you get back to full health. Merry Christmas xx
Thank you for sharing, now that there is a plan in place it empowers you to also take charge. Take care of yourself I have watched you for years and I think this community is behind you 💯
Thanks so much, you are right, I am empowered now. I have a plan, I have support and I will be doing my upmost to get out of this very dark black hole I have lived most of my life in xxx
Sorry youve been suffering in silence. You must feel so much lighter sharing it with us.
By the way you are beautiful and you dont have to worry about the way you look.
As someone who was naturally very slim and accused of eating disorders because of it I can relate. I'm now bigger than before due to menopause and various other health related issues but I'd do anything to be my naturally slim weight again.
I'm pleased you're getting things sorted and I admire your strength and bravery, you should be proud of yourself for being so open and honest.
Thanks Helen, it was scary to share but like you say it's like a weight has been lifted. Having an eating disorder doesn't change any part of who I am and it's nice that people can appreciate that. You know the struggle of narrow minded people and how little they even bother to consider that there may be more going on rather than just jumping the gun to an uneducated guess! Hope Menopause is being kind to you, I know from my own journey with hormones that they are a bitch! xx
So glad you have a plan going forward, you have been through so much.Georgie you are beautiful and eloquent , you can and will feel well and strong again. Thank you for bringing us on your journey xx
Thanks Marie, Already feeling so much stronger at the end of a week with the right support so heres to knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel xx
Georgie... You are an amazing woman... I've said it before and I'll say it again... You helped me with my Daughter Katrina and her emetaphobia... She had her steps to wellbeing over video call and has seen soooo many professionals in her 19 years... before she was diagnosed with ARFID she was told she had globus (which wasn't the case for her) You have to fight so hard as a parent to get answers and I'm sure you have had the same experience... when Katrina was diagnosed with Autism 2 years ago everything fell into place for her... she did her own research and found out so much info as it became her hyperfocus... now we live day to day making sure we have her "safe foods" which atm are chocolate yorkie and walkers salted crisps... she is slim and wants to put on weight too but you are both beautiful inside and out... you both have extremely pretty faces and are both kind souls... I wish I could hug you in person Georgie as you are an inspiration and so helpful... I owe a lot to you and will be forever grateful especially in Katrina's younger years... Thank you for being so brave and making this video... Good luck with your health journey moving forwards and hope you get the answers and help you need to thrive... It is like catching up with a friend watching you... stay awesome xx hugs from Jacquie xx
Ah Jacquie, this comment is just GOLD. I'm just so pleased that I could give you and Katrina some insight in to the phobia and subsequent Eating Disorder. Interestingly if you research it an awful lot of people that end up with Arfid in all of its variants are actually Autistic, perhaps I'm on the spectrum too! I will one day investigate I'm sure but as it stands I think I've got enough to look in to. I'm so pleased she is doing OK on her safe foods, so funny how they differ for everyone as mine are so different! Thanks for such a kind comment and hopefully you can continue to watch the rest of the journey as I get myself out of all of this xxx
I was relieved to hear you didn't actually go ahead with the endoscopy! After something like a tooth extraction your body needs time to recover, it's never a good idea to have procedures back-to-back. I have had a lifetime of digestive and anxiety problems, food intolerances and also a phobia about being sick, and I've learned a lot of helpful things in that time that I can hopefully pass on to others. The barium swallow is a really good idea. I had two last year as I was having similar problems to yours, and I couldn't face an endoscopy. Like you, I got in there and had a complete meltdown and couldn't go through with it. They decided to do the barium swallow instead which is much easier. It's reasonably good at showing things up, but obviously isn't as in depth as endoscopy. When I got in there they actually gave me iodine liquid rather than the barium, which is even better at showing things up and much more pleasant and easier to swallow than barium. For really anxious people it's often better to start with the least invasive things first, rather than going straight to endoscopy. I can recommend a supplement called Mastic Gum, it's been a godsend for me, and I'm never without a bottle in the house! Mastika or Jarrow are good reputable brands. It's a natural remedy which you can take ongoing as a maintenance dose, or just as needed. If I feel sick one capsule usually helps within the hour. Any further advice I can give, I'll be happy to do so.
Xanthe this is all so helpful, thank you so much! Oh there was NO WAY I was going through with it when the said what they said. You know when you get a vibe from people and none of them gave me any confidence at all! I'm so relieved you've coped with the Barium Swallow as I've not met many people that have had one. I'm in a MUCH better place now that week is over and I'm on the shakes and feeling 100x stronger. After that they will do the endoscopy under GA, we apparently have to just jump through the hoops! I'll have a look at the Mastic Gum, sounds interesting! Thanks as always for the comment and input! xx
Georgie Hiya, I used to love your channel years ago, before you went horsey. I'm glad to see you back, I loved your chihuahuas and have a Titch myself now too. We all go through tough times, and eventually come through it. Don't worry, it will be ok. Get back to you!! Go to charity shops.....Do what you love, build yourself a new life. I've subscribed and will look forward to watching you fly again. Sending big hugs xxx
Ahh I love that you now have a Tich too, my girl lives on!! Thanks for coming along for the ride again xx
So brave Georgie. We’re here with you for this journey xxx❤
Thank you so so much, I really appreciate it xx
I am so pleased your health is being taken care of and the help is there for you, I hope you get answers you need and the right treatment path put in place very soon.
Opening up about our health can be a big leap of faith and now I feel you will help many others 💕
Thanks Jilly, I know I don't 'know' any of you personally but it doesn't sit right that for so long you've all only had half the story! Now it's all out and it's time to move forwards xx
Thank you Georgie for being so brave in sharing this, you are amazing and so pleased to hear you will be getting help, answers and ways forward to health very soon, in the meantime take care lovely xx
Thanks so much Jules xx
I love your honesty Georgie. Onwards and upwards. You are hopefully being supported with every issue now and can grow stronger xx
Thanks so much Lisa ONWARDS AND UPWARDS!! xx
So glad your getting some answers. Look after yourself Georgie and as you say you will get through this ❤
Thanks so much Sally, as always REALLY appreciate this xx
You are amazing, and you've taken a massive step in sharing this with us! Sending you lots of ❤
Thanks so much Sally, such a lovely comment xx
Such a brave video Georgie. Wishing you all the very best in your healing journey. Xxx
Thanks Louise, it had to be done. I feel like I'm always sharing half a story whereas now the truth is out! xx
I literally have tears in my eyes. I knew you were going to say ARFID. My daughter has it too although she’s never been diagnosed as not one doctor took it seriously. We were always told she was fussy and would grow out of it. I absolutely know how debilitating it can be. I cannot express enough how grateful I am that you’re sharing your story as not many people have even heard of it let alone, understand it x
Oh Louise I'm so sorry your daughter suffers from it, you are right it is fairly debilitating BUT we are smart enough to create the behaviors to stay safe so this means we are also clever enough to work out way out. It just needs to happen at the right time. I have reached a time in my life now where by surviving just isn't enough for me. I want out of this way of living and to be able to love and enjoy food like so many others. I am going to share EVERY single part of my journey on here so if that in some way can help your daughter as I've managed to get the diagnosis then I would be so pleased . So much love to you and her xxx
Feel better soon, hope you find something that helps, sending hugs.
Thanks Naomii xx
Hope you feel better soon.
Thank you so much xx
You are amazing xxx
Thanks so much Anne xx
Go Georgie ❤️💪💪💪💪
Thanks Teresa xx
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That was a brave and honest video - good luck with all your upcoming appointments. X
Thanks so much xx
You should have been offered the endoscopy under GA from the start Georgie given your history. You’re on the right track now and things will get better!! You are stronger than you know and will overcome this x x x
I know, but it is what it Is and we are where we are so I will jump through the hoops and hopefully get where I need to be xx
Sending so much love. Xx
Thanks Carol, love as always xx
You’ve been through a lot but you seem like a strong independent woman and will be okay. Take care of yourself and things will get better.
Thanks Cathryn xx
Take your time and don't rush to do Vlogmas for us you have enough on your plate being a mum and all your fur babies big and small rest and look after yourself just keep giving us a video now and then to tell us how you are doing sending you a hug and love Rosa and Snowy Xxxx
Thanks so much Rosa, I know there is no pressure from any of you but I honestly do LOVE making these videos xx
Hi i cant see my comments on your other videos. I mentioned sbout my niece having emetophobia not sure if you replied. She is 10 wondered if you had any advice my sister thinks she won't be taken seriously at drs.
Its so brave of you to speak out.
Much love and healing x
I reply to most comments, hypnotherapy has some great success with the phobia and there is a chap called Rob Kelly who has done a workbook that mum and daughter can work through together. Annoyingly most GP's don't have an understanding or the time to look in to the phobia, there needs to be more awareness of it. It's such a crippling thing to live with, Love to you all xx
@@littlelifehouseThank you so much for this information i will padd it on, I couldn't find my comment I thi k it's my end. I hope you ate well snd have a wonderful Christmas x
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I'm in the process of researching the link between ARFID and neuro diversity - in particular autism. My son is awaiting a diagnosis for both.
The signs of autism in women are very subtle (I now wonder if I'm Autistic). Have you ever considered this?
There's really useful information on the link between ARFID and autism on the Autistica charity page and the Christine McGuinness autism in women documentary on BBC iplayer. ❤
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Why do people think they have the right to criticise your body?
Also, how traumatic and disgraceful was your school experience 😢
I hope everything goes well for you going forward ❤️
Because a lot of people are knobs! Yes school wasn't ideal, but that was then and this is now, it's time to get better!! once and for all xx
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