1 day vs 1 year after losing my mum

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  • Опубликовано: 2 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 875

  • @hannahfarbs7973
    @hannahfarbs7973 3 года назад +306

    @ 6:58 there’s definitely a little white butterfly outside the window immediately as you’re speaking about wanting a sign or a way to know your Mum is still with you. How amazing 🤍 🦋

  • @libertymoore2781
    @libertymoore2781 3 года назад +323

    A heard an analogy of grief once that really made sense to me... they described the grief as being a ball inside a cardboard box. And when it first happens the grief is a huge ball in a small box, and every time the ball hits the side of the box, it triggers the feelings... but over time to box gets bigger, so it hits the sides of the box less and less. It still hurts exactly the same when it DOES hit the side of the box. But it happens less frequently. And this analogy really got me!

  • @kirstyj9293
    @kirstyj9293 3 года назад +553

    Forgive me for not watching......I just wanted to come on the comments and show some love, I lost my mom too from the horrible 'c' word and I'm also currently pregnant with my first (21 weeks) and are trying to keep my mind completely positive for my child's sake so atm I can't watch anything like this but I'm sending you so much love and healing darling, our mom's are always with us and will be with us through every step of our pregnancy and there after 💗

    • @unknown-oe8mf
      @unknown-oe8mf 3 года назад +23

      so sorry for your loss xx hope you're pregnancy goes well x

    • @kirstyj9293
      @kirstyj9293 3 года назад +2

      @@unknown-oe8mf Thank you 💕

    • @lemonaid927
      @lemonaid927 3 года назад +3

      ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • @emmiepeach2634
      @emmiepeach2634 3 года назад +2

      sending love💗

    • @lauraoswin7614
      @lauraoswin7614 3 года назад +2

      💕💕💕

  • @Sarahkisnellaxo
    @Sarahkisnellaxo 3 года назад +520

    I lost my mam too 2 years ago and it’s been tough since Mother’s Day. I’m still in bed now and I needed this today. Thank you ❤️

    • @sadiedurham4058
      @sadiedurham4058 3 года назад +3

      Sorry long xxx take care 😘🙏😇

    • @keeshamaya8093
      @keeshamaya8093 3 года назад +6

      so sorry for your loss x

    • @Mrsdumee
      @Mrsdumee 3 года назад +2

      🤍

    • @Mrsdumee
      @Mrsdumee 3 года назад +5

      @@user-wj1hc4bm1r Can people make typo’s?

    • @ErinVerigotta
      @ErinVerigotta 3 года назад +2

      hope you feel better soon! ur doing amazing 🥰

  • @GeorgiaMayx
    @GeorgiaMayx 3 года назад +342

    I have never experienced this level of grief or loss but I sat and listened and you are just incredible Elle. The way you are using your experience to help guide others is nothing sort of incredible. You should be so proud of yourself as I’m sure your beautiful mum is as she looks down on you in this life ❤️ you are such an beautiful person and it radiates from you x

  • @billiewest6895
    @billiewest6895 3 года назад +341

    Your Mum is so proud of you Elle. I lost my mum In November 2020, I was 17 and right now, 4 months later it still doesn’t feel real. You are helping so much with these videos and make us all who have been through the same thing feel much less alone, I’m sure it can’t be easy. Thank you Elle❤️

    • @unknown-oe8mf
      @unknown-oe8mf 3 года назад +12

      so sorry for your loss stay strong ❤️

    • @sadiedurham4058
      @sadiedurham4058 3 года назад +4

      Sorry long xxxx take care 😇🙏💗

    • @graceemachin
      @graceemachin 3 года назад +5

      I am so sorry for your loss, take care of yourself and I’m sending you a big cuddle 💗💗💗

    • @theorganicyorkshirerose
      @theorganicyorkshirerose 3 года назад +2

      Sending love 💗

    • @sianjones3638
      @sianjones3638 3 года назад +4

      You’re never alone angel, sending love ❤️

  • @georgialee7109
    @georgialee7109 3 года назад +21

    I lost my Mum (who was my only parent) very suddenly and unexpectedly less than 2 months ago. I’m 27 years old, unmarried and don’t have children yet. I’m struggling to figure out how I can live the rest of my life without her. She was my very best friend I loved her more than anything. Thank you making this video. Being okay seems so far away. You gave me a bit of hope that one day I will get there. This pain is next level. I just want to breathe again. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    • @Laura-hk3xz
      @Laura-hk3xz 3 года назад

      I’m so sorry for your loss 😢 I also lost my mum at 27 six months ago and I’m also unmarried and have no children yet so I know exactly how you feel. I’m not going to say that you will be ok because nothing about losing your mother is ok, but I want you to know that you will get through it. Lean on your friends and remaining family, in time you will be able to remember all the good times and laugh, but things will be raw for a little while. My dms are always open if you would like to talk 💜 Sending you so much love at this difficult time 💕

    • @Theanakkcfjjkd48
      @Theanakkcfjjkd48 3 года назад

      i’m so sorry to hear! your mum is very proud of you in heaven :)

    • @Theanakkcfjjkd48
      @Theanakkcfjjkd48 3 года назад

      @@Laura-hk3xz i’m so sorry! you can do it!

  • @annielorrangarmston8509
    @annielorrangarmston8509 3 года назад +195

    I lost my mam 6 weeks ago and the first video was one of the very few comforting lifelines. Thank you so much for this second video, an absolute god sent. Sending love to those people here who need it. Things will get better 🤍

  • @laureandrla5079
    @laureandrla5079 3 года назад +163

    15th of June 2020 my dad went missing, leaving me a suicide note and calculations for a drug over dose.
    He was missing for 4 weeks before he police found his body, every single night I left the curtain and a light on hoping he had changed his mind and come back to me.
    My farther was the most incredible human and my best friend, which is probably why he could never come to me about the money problems.
    I understand your grief all too well, and I am so sorry you had to go through that. But so happy you are sharing your story. I couldn’t want the whole of this video as I have PTSD that is triggered constantly.
    Thank you for sharing your story Ellie, they will always be with us, grief is what love leaves behind ❤️

    • @melnason7825
      @melnason7825 3 года назад +6

      Bless you sweetheart.....my thoughts are with you at such a harrowing time. So sorry for your loss xx

    • @ashleigh8209
      @ashleigh8209 3 года назад +1

      Sending you love x

    • @daisy4592
      @daisy4592 3 года назад +2

      My dad took his own life on the 16th June 2017. I hope you’re coping okay and getting the help you need. It’s tough journey but I promise that it will get better soon. Sending you love💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

    • @lily-si1hi
      @lily-si1hi 3 года назад +1

      im so sorry for your loss that is awful I can't even imagine x

    • @loz714
      @loz714 3 года назад +1

      your so strong🤍🤍

  • @jaimeelthompson
    @jaimeelthompson 3 года назад +135

    I lost my mum almost 4 months ago, unexpectedly within an hour. We still don’t know why. I feel your pain Elle. Love you 💜

    • @sadiedurham4058
      @sadiedurham4058 3 года назад +4

      Sorry long xxx

    • @debbytownsend2907
      @debbytownsend2907 3 года назад +5

      Big hug

    • @mollyshaw5028
      @mollyshaw5028 3 года назад +4

      Sending you lots of love and big hugs. We’re all here for you!❤️

    • @laurenridsdale5726
      @laurenridsdale5726 3 года назад +2

      Sending ♥ and 🤗

    • @millyb12341
      @millyb12341 3 года назад +2

      I lost my mum very suddenly in November last year also. We’re still not 100% sure what happened and why so I understand how it feels❤️ honestly these videos and the comment section is such a sanctuary to me 🙏🏻

  • @coxo7261
    @coxo7261 3 года назад +26

    I lost my Father 2 weeks ago. I found him tragically just 9 hours after being with him. I tried CPR advised by 999, although deep down I recognised he had been gone for a few hours. My mind is all over the place, on top I’m 7 weeks pregnant. Thank-you Elle, these are the videos I watch with hope for the future xx

    • @freya1136
      @freya1136 3 года назад

      Sending my love ❤️xxx

  • @NaomiVictorias
    @NaomiVictorias 3 года назад +132

    We had my boyfriends mum in a hospital bed with a syringe driver I n the lounge whilst she was battling terminal cancer last year too, it was exactly as you said - living a nightmare. This bought up so many memories that I’ve tried to push down. I haven’t lost my own mum but losing her was like losing my second mother - so I almost know how you feel. It’s absolutly heartbreaking. Your baby is such a blessing and your mum is watching down on you everyday 🤍

  • @jessrisden4265
    @jessrisden4265 3 года назад +20

    From an 18 year old girl who lost her dad at just 16. Thank you for sharing this incredibly personal video.

  • @user-xg9og3nj6c
    @user-xg9og3nj6c 3 года назад +26

    I'm a carer and when you released your first video, I was working palliatively for a woman with a brain tumour. I want to thank you for being so open and honest as I genuinely feel like it enabled me to further understand what her family members were going through. Because of your videos I made sure to check in with family & support them as much as I supported their mum. I really believe your videos helped to improve the quality of care I provided, because of your video I had a much better insight into what the family was experiencing emotionally. Thankyou Elle for being so open, it has already positively impacted a family who went through the same thing x

  • @erxnhx
    @erxnhx 3 года назад +140

    Your mum would be so proud of you! Your baby boy was handpicked by her 💞

    • @mandyjackson6894
      @mandyjackson6894 3 года назад

      So true 💙💙💙

    • @leahjones2657
      @leahjones2657 3 года назад +3

      That’s so beautiful to say x

    • @katyed6022
      @katyed6022 3 года назад +2

      Couldn’t have put it a better way!! Absolutely perfect I hope she sees this message^ 🥰❤️

  • @nicolegraham4405
    @nicolegraham4405 3 года назад +58

    What a beautiful person... with a beautiful soul and beautiful meaning just everything about you is so pure and I hope this message reaches you. You've helped so many people ❤

  • @katief5639
    @katief5639 3 года назад +7

    When you said character building.. I really felt that. I lost my brother to a brain tumour when I was 17; he was just 18. It was such a poignant time in my life that it has 100% changed who I am as a person in every single way. 6 years of grieving later, you truly never get over it, but learn to live with it. Sending you so much love Elle ❤️🌟

  • @Julia-qk2wj
    @Julia-qk2wj 3 года назад +37

    You probably won't see this but thank you so much for this video. I'm absolutely terrified of losing any of my parents and I feel like if they die I couldn't keep on living...but this is comforting in a weird way, not that I ever want to lose them but I know I'll survive if I ever do.

    • @megancunningham6601
      @megancunningham6601 3 года назад +1

      I feel exactly the same as this Julia. I think about this all the time. I’m absolutely petrified of the thought, as I know I’ll feel like I don’t want to live anymore either. You are so incredibly brave and strong for doing this video Elle. You’re helping so many people by sharing what you’ve been through, even those of us who have not yet lost a parent and are petrified of the thought alone. Thank you for your selflessness 🥺🤍 you are making your mum so proud, every single day 🤍🕊✨xx

  • @emmacollins8403
    @emmacollins8403 3 года назад +2

    I lost my dad 4 weeks ago on Friday and as much as I love to watch your videos, I’m really scared to watch this just in case in triggers me too much. When I’m feeling stronger I will come back to watch, I know this video is here for me. Thank you for being the comfort and support I need right now as you will 100% know how I’m feeling and I completely connect with you on this 💕

  • @jesssproson7447
    @jesssproson7447 3 года назад +15

    Elle I cannot even begin to describe to you how much you have helped me. After losing my dad at the end of august to a 10 year battle with a brain tumour, I was devastated. It’s like I found you at the exact right time in my life and you and your experience with grief has helped me with my grief massively. Every time I have a difficult day I know I can turn to you and find some peace in that I am not alone, that I am not the only person struggling. I literally think of you as my internet bestie!🤣 I’ve found it particularly hard to talk to others about how I feel and you have given me the strength to recently start to be able to be more open with others about it. I cannot begin to thank you enough for everything you’ve helped me through even though you don’t know it, you are a beautiful soul, you are strong and you deserve the whole world. Thank you so much🤍

    • @Hannah28995
      @Hannah28995 3 года назад +2

      This is so lovely. Sending lots of love to you 😘

    • @sadiedurham4058
      @sadiedurham4058 3 года назад +1

      I am sorry take care x

    • @megancurley2558
      @megancurley2558 3 года назад +2

      I relate to you so much Jess, and I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been through. I watched Elle’s first video about losing her mum to a brain tumour in June 2 days before my dad was first unwell and diagnosed with a brain tumour himself. It was the most bizarre coincidence and I really feel that I clicked on her video for a reason that I didn’t know at the time. I’m very lucky that my dad is still with us, but the anticipatory grief I’ve experienced is still very hard. Sending you so much love and peace xx

    • @jesssproson7447
      @jesssproson7447 3 года назад +1

      @@megancurley2558 hey girl! I’ve just read your comment and it made me tear up a little bit, thank you so much. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, I relate completely to your situation and I know how hard hearing that diagnosis can be. Sending all my love and well wishes to you and your dad, you are both truly so strong!🤍xx

    • @megancurley2558
      @megancurley2558 3 года назад

      @@jesssproson7447 You're so kind, thank you so much. It helps to know there are people out there who get it xx

  • @ohiyamel
    @ohiyamel 3 года назад +25

    I lost my dad 2.5 years ago and I can relate to everything you have said. I searched long and hard for videos like this on youtube during the time, just to tell me that I’m going to be okay. You sharing all of this is going to help so many people out there who are in the same boat as us ❤️ I understand everything you feel Elle, and you are not alone 🤍

  • @sophiex205
    @sophiex205 3 года назад +31

    I know the writing is about something terrible, but you are clearly a talented writer to even write your feelings in that way, the way it’s described and written shows pure intelligence

  • @helloimgeee
    @helloimgeee 3 года назад +10

    I just lost my Mum a week ago, she passed the day before my 25th birthday and 6 days before Mothers Day this year. I had to cancel her Mothers Day flowers. It still doesn't feel real. Seeing you live your life and pushing on, gives me strength. xx

  • @HannahandMia
    @HannahandMia 3 года назад +228

    Can we just talk about how stunning she is tho😍

  • @victoriamitchinson549
    @victoriamitchinson549 3 года назад +15

    You truly are living your purpose Elle. You’re a healer, and you’re doing amazing things to help other people. You’re doing so much.

  • @elliew8806
    @elliew8806 3 года назад +35

    The strength you’ve shown will help so many, including myself. My dad has just finished radiotherapy for a brain tumour. We found out about it shortly after his lung cancer had shrunk, which we were so relieved about. He has also suffered from throat cancer. We are holding on to the here and now and appreciating the little things.
    Thank you for making this video (and all the others) ❤️ sending so much love to you all.

  • @tanyacrumlish
    @tanyacrumlish 3 года назад +25

    I am so incredibly proud of you ell. As someone who hasn’t lost a parent, I can’t comprehend what it is like to lose a parent. I have lost loved ones close to me and know just how painful it can be but I can’t explain just how amazing you are and how your mum would be proud of the two strong, kind and beautiful women she raised , and we are here for you always. Love you elle. 🤍👼🏼

  • @cath2244
    @cath2244 3 года назад +14

    I lost my mum almost 4 months ago to dementia. Seeing this video and even the comments on here reminds me that I’m not alone and there are others going through this too, being able to relate others helps me. Thank you for sharing Elle x

  • @aimeexx5751
    @aimeexx5751 3 года назад +13

    I lost my dad 8 months ago to cancer at 16 , I've never felt so many emotions in so many different ways. my heart hurts everyday but these words spoke to me. Thank you ❤️ you're so strong , sending you so much love xx

  • @solastyearcook
    @solastyearcook 3 года назад +34

    Losing someone close to you is the worst feeling in the world. You’re so strong and you can only take one day at a time. No words ever seem to help as the feeling is too overpowering. We’re all in this together xx

  • @sueanderson9860
    @sueanderson9860 3 года назад +8

    Elle, I’m the age your Mum was when she passed. I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that she is so so very proud of you. You articulated your love and pain and growth over the past year perfectly. I’m certain this video will be of immense help to anyone in the early stages of loss. Sending hugs. xoxo

  • @jhenaSaysquacK
    @jhenaSaysquacK 3 года назад

    Thank you so much for sharing Elle. I happen to be one of those people who are looking for someone to relate to and stumbled upon your videos. I'm so sorry about your mom. I'm so sorry to everyone who is grieving.
    I resonate with this so much. I also tend to rely on to-do lists and deadlines with my progress on anything. I'm just learning there is no step-by-step or right way to process and heal. I feel like I've already learned immensely, but I know there's so much more ahead.
    My mom suffered from several types of cancers, including brain cancer and passed almost a month ago (March 2, 2021). Her last days and just the days after were the most devastating experiences I've ever encountered, just as you explained and will know yourself. Due to the pandemic, only one visitor was allowed with restricted visiting times, which by default was my dad. I'm so, so thankful I was able to be there for my mom's last breath and she waited for my brother and I to arrive before passing when the nurses finally let us in (For my brother just minutes. I was lucky to have about 20 min). But sometimes I'm finding myself angry that I couldn't see or talk to her before then. I wanted so much to be with her while she was in the hospital and the situation wouldn't allow it. I'm still working through these emotions and am trying to find ways to cope.
    I don't know how I'm going to get through all the first holidays without her this year. I keep thinking about how my mom won't be here when I get married or have kids too. I relied on her so much and feel like I need her just to get through these milestones. But your story and your words give me hope that I will be able to deal with this grief one day and that it's possible to feel happiness again.
    I'll be coming back to these videos as reminders to myself. I wish you continuing strength in the years ahead. You have already been strong. ❤️

  • @bluebezza7
    @bluebezza7 3 года назад +17

    I’ve had it all, happy family of 8. Mum cheated on my Dad with his best friend and moved to UK. It broke my Dad’s heart and it made him really poorly. I watched him wanting to commit suicide (walked on him in the bathroom with wrists cut open by the bathtub) because he couldn’t deal with the pain and having to raise 6 daughters all by himself whilst working full time. He passed 11 years ago - cancer got him first. I then had to move to the UK with my 5 sisters to live with Mum who abandoned us and my late Dad’s ex best friend... it’s been 11 years and the pain is still there. I don’t remember his voice but I see his face in my dreams and I know he is watching over me and my siblings. We still cry when we talk about him but we also share some laughter over the memories we’ve been able to create with the main man in our lives. But what helped us with the grieving process is having each other as sisters: even to this date one of us will mention something about our Dad or a situation that the others would have forgotten about and it’s so amazing to be able to have each other and understand what the other sister went through. I could not have done the last 11 years without my sisters. I really feel for those people who were/are on their own. And Elle, you have shown so much strength in the last year it is so inspiring and I’m sure has helped a lot of people. Everyone has a story to share and it’s so nice to be able to talk about our feelings. I am sorry to everyone who’s ever lost a parent. Life really isn’t fair sometimes.

  • @rachm77
    @rachm77 3 года назад +15

    My dad came home from the hospice for a night, we laughed and watched films together.. the next day he went back to the hospice and barely woke up again for 7 days until he passed. I know what you mean about those days being the worst, because it was unbearable. Its been 2 years almost. There is nothing that can prepare you for losing a parent. Sending you so much love for the 22nd ❤️

  • @HannahandMia
    @HannahandMia 3 года назад +25

    So much respect to her she’s overcome so much so young❤️❤️

  • @helentrofimova1444
    @helentrofimova1444 3 года назад +11

    I lost my mum when I was 4 months pregnant and 28.it was my mum's first grandchild.....I cannot put into words how I felt but know this ellie...your mum will be so proud of you.💖

  • @tiabroom4764
    @tiabroom4764 3 года назад +7

    I lost my dad when I was 4 (turning 5) I’m now almost 18 in April and I don’t remember much of him but I still miss him, I think the older you are the more it hurts because you’ve had so many more memories but my older siblings (as I’m the youngest) dealt with it completely different to me because I didn’t understand properly, my mother had to raise 4 kids alone and she worked so hard, if I lost her I don’t know what I’d do, I don’t think I could go on tbh but you’re amazing Elle! so brave and your mother will be so so proud of you and how far you’ve came

  • @laurarobinson4982
    @laurarobinson4982 3 года назад +18

    Did anyone see the light change at 8:26, the moment she says my mom would not expect me to sit here and say I can’t.. she’s letting you know ❤️

  • @liajane9161
    @liajane9161 3 года назад +1

    elle i love you!! i lost my mum three years ago this june & your videos always make me feel better, also these similar comments to my situation are making me feel not so alone 🤍

  • @ellenwaters4787
    @ellenwaters4787 3 года назад

    The way you talk about this topic with such grace is incredible 😭 you will be an amazing mum and your mum will be watching down on you xx

  • @philliparosejj
    @philliparosejj 3 года назад +1

    The best way I ever heard someone explain grief and how it changes over time is this; imagine there is a box and inside the box is a big red button which, if pushed, will trigger a wave of grief. There is also a ball in the box. When someone loses someone close to them the ball fills the entire box and is therefore constantly pushing the button. But as time goes on the ball gets smaller and smaller until it can bounce around the box quite freely.....it still hits the button occasionally but it's not constant. Grief never goes away but the waves become further and further apart and it becomes easier to cope with.
    Thinking of you at this time! You are so strong and your mum is so proud of you!

  • @milliejefferson1
    @milliejefferson1 3 года назад +23

    I just know that your beautiful mam is looking down on you smiling about everything that yourself and Katie have achieved over this past year ❤️

  • @chantelletaylor3133
    @chantelletaylor3133 3 года назад +13

    I lost my mum at aged 42 in november to terminal cancer after only battling it for 4 months and Mother’s day was one of the hardest days for me. I really needed this video to know it’ll get easier. Thank you❤️

  • @ffiontandy3774
    @ffiontandy3774 3 года назад +11

    You are an inspiration Elle. My mum really isn’t well at the moment and is currently in the hospital where we can’t see her, and watching your videos gives me such a sense of comfort🤍✨

    • @eveborrott728
      @eveborrott728 3 года назад +1

      Sending you and your mum lots of love xx

    • @ffiontandy3774
      @ffiontandy3774 3 года назад

      @@eveborrott728 thank you so much x

  • @matildamerrick8522
    @matildamerrick8522 3 года назад +1

    So brave! Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️ I lost my Nanna who was like a second mum to me just over 8 years ago and I still feel the sting of grief on the anniversary of her passing. Really appreciated your honest expressions xx

  • @vickiesnyder1568
    @vickiesnyder1568 3 года назад

    I think you are so thoughtful to share your experience & be supportive of others in this situation. My heart goes out to you . She was so Blessed to have such an amazing daughter.🥲🥰😇❤️🙏

  • @oliviaahaha2989
    @oliviaahaha2989 3 года назад +13

    She’s so proud of you! Everything happens for a reason Elle your mummy left but sent down the little angel that’s making you a mummy
    Your so much stronger then you think! 💓

  • @hafsahahmed5165
    @hafsahahmed5165 3 года назад +1

    You are so beautiful & your mum is always there as you are becoming a mum she will be there every step of the way and you are incredible 💓

  • @toblerone96
    @toblerone96 3 года назад +7

    I lost my mum 3 years ago and I literally did nothing but cry on Mother’s Day

  • @debbiesmith3102
    @debbiesmith3102 3 года назад

    It's great that you tell how grief changes every day , I'm sure there are many people you have really helped through this tough time , im going to show this to my grandaughter who has just lost a much loved one , thankyou xx

  • @peaceinthevision
    @peaceinthevision 3 года назад +1

    the light change at 13:57 and the room flood with warm light.... your mum is sending you a hug and showing you that she's with you 🤍

  • @mollyharris9048
    @mollyharris9048 3 года назад +1

    Els is so incredible and I'm so proud of how she's dealt with everything. My mum passed just over 4 years ago and I'm only just starting to feel 90% healed and yes the grief filled days are still a thing but I'm ready to let myself be happy. I hope everyone who finds themselves in a similar situation knows that they will get there one day, it won't be this hard forever. Don't give up

  • @yazlowe8236
    @yazlowe8236 3 года назад +3

    I have just been reading all of the comments and the amount of beautiful people who have lost parents and loved ones is honestly so so heartbreaking. Just want to send so much love to both Elle and all the angels who have commented , none of you deserved to experience such pain but I am so proud of you all - just as your lost loved ones are💜

  • @lizzieyoung1132
    @lizzieyoung1132 3 года назад +1

    When you’re talking about the overwhelming grief and almost being in the grief memory, your techniques to remember you are in the present time is called grounding, there’s so many resources online if you Google that and it can give other ideas if you ever need them 💕
    Thank you for sharing your story, you are amazing 💛

  • @becsrim3796
    @becsrim3796 3 года назад

    Can't even tell you how much I needed to see this Elle! I lost my day at the end of January and I feel like I'm walking around numb! You are so strong and such an inspiration!
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Xx

  • @kellstinkerbell71
    @kellstinkerbell71 3 года назад

    Your an incredible, strong, intelligent, beautiful young lady. Your remarkable. You are so so thoughtful. Your mum raised a very special person. You chat and off load any time you need to I will always listen and I’m sure many will agree with me. Us mummy’s can be your adopted mummy’s. If you was my daughter I’d be bursting with pride. Your beautiful son has got one very amazing muma and daddy of course! Don’t ever think your crazy with how you deal with your grief I think you have given brilliant advice and best of luck with your therapy. But we are all behind you and love you lots. ❤️

  • @ti-dm7237
    @ti-dm7237 3 года назад

    I’m fortunate enough to say I’ve not experienced a huge loss before in my life but the thought of losing my mum fills me with a huge ache in my heart and with the thought of how could I survive if that were to ever happen😔😔I’ve watched your videos for a very long time and although I cant relate to what you must be going through I watch these videos in absolute awe that someone going through so much pain can still have the thought in their mind that they can help someone else! I really think you are an amazing person Elle and I honestly believe that’s a true testament to the woman who raised you! Thankyou for being you, for being so thoughtful, kind and honest because I know somewhere in the world an angel needs this video! ❤️

  • @kayleighdavies6891
    @kayleighdavies6891 3 года назад

    You are so incredible, and brave. I know you have no other choice but the way you’ve dealt with your beautiful mum’s passing is just unbelievable. I just pray I can one day be as strong as you ❤️

  • @Leannanroseshaw1824
    @Leannanroseshaw1824 3 года назад

    You are so incredibly strong Elle! Your mum would be so proud and I know she will be with you the whole way with your new journey of becoming a mum yourself 🤍

  • @lisalarter3108
    @lisalarter3108 3 года назад

    Oh bless you xxx .... Your little man will be so proud to call you mum and is Nana will always be there watching over you all ..... Your doing a good job.... And Katie is blossoming into a strong independent woman .... Xx

  • @aoifefay9863
    @aoifefay9863 3 года назад

    You spoke immaculately Elle. Thank you for this xxx

  • @NosheenFarooq-n9h
    @NosheenFarooq-n9h 6 месяцев назад

    Thank you so much Ellie for this video it has helped me so much I just found out my mums cancer is incurable and your raw video has helped so much x

  • @yasminecortenbach4422
    @yasminecortenbach4422 3 года назад

    I’ve watched your announcement videos about your little baby boy and couldn’t resist to take a look at your other videos.
    My mom passed when I was 10years old on 19th of march 2015. You inspire me so much and have such a beautiful soul.
    Thankyou for being the most beautiful and purest woman ever🤍

  • @matildadorsett462
    @matildadorsett462 3 года назад

    I am so sorry for your loss, you have come so far! She will always be with you even if you can’t see her 💕💕

  • @poppygibson1173
    @poppygibson1173 3 года назад

    i am lucky enough to have never experienced a loss as such in my life but i can only imagine the pain you feel. you are such an incredible and strong individual and inspire me so much. You and con are amazing, you are going to be the most amazing parents to baby swift. your mum would be so proud of everything you’ve achieved, i certainly am proud as someone who has followed yours and cons journey💖

  • @soniaperichon5776
    @soniaperichon5776 3 года назад

    I was meant to come across this video today. I have spent the last 2 days back in the depths of despair and immense grief that I’m positive my mum had a hand in showing me this video. Elle I experienced everything as you did and I can’t believe what a comfort it was to hear you speak. You nailed every emotion I’ve been feeling and have gone through from watching my mum slip away and after her passing especially the sense of emptiness loss and profound sadness I’ve been feeling. You’ve given me hope that I’ll find happiness again one day. Can’t thank you enough god bless you xx

  • @mathilda12
    @mathilda12 3 года назад +1

    This video is emotionally beautiful. Thank you for sharing your journey and showing me not to waist a day with my mum or any family member again. I truly believe she is watching down on you from her flowery garden in heaven, smiling at how far you’ve come. Keep being you Elle. You are incredible 🤍

  • @auroracancelliere
    @auroracancelliere 3 года назад

    white butterfly at 6.58 when you were talking so desperately of needing a sign from your beautiful mum ❤️ elle, i love you more than anything. thank you so much for this video and everything you do. watching you honestly makes me feel at home. all my love always x

  • @annazrelli4487
    @annazrelli4487 3 года назад +4

    Heartbreaking Ellie. My daughter is your age and she's followed you from your very first vlog. As a mum, I'm proud of you, so your mum must be bursting with pride. She's looking down on you and living on through you. So much live and thank you for sharing. God bless

  • @alexandramitchell6331
    @alexandramitchell6331 3 года назад

    Wow Elle you have grown so much this past year, I’ve been following you for so long now and you are honestly such an inspiration. You are so so strong and I wish I was half the person you are. Your mum will definitely be so proud of you and the beautiful lady and mama you are becoming! 🤍🤍🤍

  • @rachelsaunders6103
    @rachelsaunders6103 3 года назад

    Im so proud of you Elle not just for how you have dealt and are dealing with your own grief but for how you help Katie, you are so sweet and caring with her, knowing just what to say, bless you sweetheart, your mum would be so proud of you xxx

  • @charlotteeggleston8422
    @charlotteeggleston8422 2 года назад

    I lost mum recently and your video was so raw I felt your pain and the advice you gave I feel like I deeply need I felt so lost your video made me feel normal grief is a funny emotion and I've ended up cutting off a lot of people I care about because I feel like they don't feel the pain I feel a all of my friends still have there mum and I feel they don't understand the struggle I go through everyday without having her here thank you so much for posting this video literally has helped me so much and made me feel I'm not the only one thank you xxx

  • @mzrandhawa6506
    @mzrandhawa6506 3 года назад

    Thank you so much for you video about you mom a year later. You will never know how much I needed this. I just lost my dad who was my best friend. You answered questions I didn’t even know I had.
    Thank you so much!! ❤️

  • @valeriehill6382
    @valeriehill6382 3 года назад

    Well done Els, you never cease to amaze me on how you communicate so beautifully. I’m one of your older subscribers and always enjoy seeing you, Conor and yr fur balls, you are going to be a fabulous mum and I’m sure your mum is watching over you with such pride in you, take care lovely and be kind to yourself 🙏❤️

  • @allaroundyogawithlindarobi9740
    @allaroundyogawithlindarobi9740 3 года назад

    Thank you so much for your very personal video, I’m not as young as you and can’t for a minute imagine how you’re feeling, I lost my mum in June 2020 after being diagnosed with cancer two weeks previously, it would’ve been her birthday this week so I really needed to hear your thoughts and the processes you have and continue to go through, sending you so much love ❤️ xxx

  • @Ruby96abc
    @Ruby96abc 3 года назад

    Wow. I’ve barely started the video but I can’t get over how incredibly strong you’ve been to film this. I can’t even put it into words. Truly an inspiration and help to SO many I’m sure. Sending so much love your way. ♥️

  • @MsKathleenBoyle
    @MsKathleenBoyle 3 года назад +1

    Thank you so much for this video. Today is 6 months since my dad had a stroke and so in a few days he will have been gone for 6 months. I've struggled with feeling numb to that realisation for the last few days and have been angry at myself for it and it was so reassuring to hear that even you have had that experience too and I'm not alone in it. Sending lots of love, really appreciate your advice and sharing something so personal xx

  • @HarryThomasPictures
    @HarryThomasPictures 3 года назад +1

    I'm so sorry sweetheart, losing a parent at a young age is the worst thing to go through. I lost my Mum to cancer last year and she was my rock. She will always be with you, you are the best daughter she could ever wish for. Hugs❤!

  • @heathergrundyvlogs
    @heathergrundyvlogs 3 года назад +4

    So when you need her touch and loving gaze, gone but not forgotten is the perfect phrase. Smiling from a star that she makes glow, trust she’s always there watching as you grow ❤️

  • @caitlinrobertson6172
    @caitlinrobertson6172 3 года назад

    You are so strong Elle. Your mum will be looking down so proud of you, looking out for Katie and being the best big sister and mum to be! I can’t wait to watch you become a mum. Your not crazy for thinking baby boy was sent down from your mum, I love that sort of mind set and it’s so lovely you do too ❤️❤️

  • @angelajohnson905
    @angelajohnson905 3 года назад

    Elle your so easy to watch and listen to you exude warmth and kindness. Your mum did an Amazing job bringing you up XXX just wanted to let u know xx

  • @jamiesomervilleliddle5313
    @jamiesomervilleliddle5313 3 года назад +12

    I know no one will probably read this but if you do what helped me getting through my Grandad’s death is knowing that he wouldn’t want be to be sad he would want me to be happy and live my life to my fullest love you Ellie xx

  • @Rachelleah3
    @Rachelleah3 3 года назад +2

    I lost my mum 8 years ago and I can honestly say I still don’t think even now I’ve fully healed from the days before she passed, I understand when you say it’s like living a nightmare, sometimes I’d wake up in the morning and think I was still dreaming because I couldn’t believe what was actually happening. It’s lovely to see that although you haven’t fully healed (and like you say no one ever does) you have come far in your journey, so much so you can help others. For anyone who has recently lost someone I personally think dealing with the situation early on, embracing it and giving yourself time to understand and process what has happened is so so important and allows you to move forward on the right path step by step. Thank you for your braveness, kindness and for explaining grief in such a helpful way 💗💗💗

  • @bethanbrindley6640
    @bethanbrindley6640 3 года назад +1

    13 years ago I lost my dad, I still write to him. It’s true what people say you learn how to deal with it. Sending you love x

  • @leahwebley1727
    @leahwebley1727 3 года назад +5

    It feels like the sun is really powerful in this video. When you spoke about being scared of living without her and the sun flashed and shone through, really made me believe she is there supporting you and always looking over you, caring for you and being so so proud of you. Im so proud of you Elle 💗

  • @spottydotty8295
    @spottydotty8295 3 года назад

    I admire you for speaking out about the experience of loosing your mum i know it would have been so raw for you to look back on your emotions then at that point as well as deal with them daily. She will always be you and your baby boy in spirit helping you on your journey to/through motherhood. Lots of love ❤

  • @KaitlinRyan94
    @KaitlinRyan94 3 года назад +1

    I lost my pop 2 weeks ago, him and my nan raised me so they are like my parents. It’s been so so hard, the emotions are indescribable. I didn’t know how much I needed this video. Thanks Elle 💕

  • @archiepops
    @archiepops 3 года назад

    I remember watching and commenting on your original video, feeling such sadness with and for you, never imagining that I would lose my own Mum just over twelve months later. It was her funeral today. Everything you said in these videos resonated with me so much, the notes you wrote after and the experience from the syringe driver to her last breaths. It feels like my world has been ripped open right now. I am going to get a diary because that seems like a really good idea, to write in it how I feel and whenever I want to talk to her. Thank you so much for making this xxx

  • @sunmoonstars9138
    @sunmoonstars9138 3 года назад

    You are the most beautiful soul elle ❤️ sending you a massive hug. How brave to film this video. You have so much strength! Keep smiling Angel, your mom will always be with you - every step of the way xx 🤍🕊

  • @winnit97
    @winnit97 3 года назад

    I lost my mum to stage 4 Bowel Cancer on Christmas eve 2020, I was her primary carer, I seeked and still seek so much comfort and support from your videos, especially the more raw ones involving talking about your experiences with your mum. I saw someone has described your video as 'a lifeline' thats exactly how I view it. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, your videos hit home in the best way xx

  • @ShelbyB1702
    @ShelbyB1702 3 года назад

    Wow this resonated with me so much 💔 It really does provide so much comfort knowing other people experience the same feelings/thoughts. Thank you for making this video, you are an amazing human being and I can’t even imagine how proud your mum will be of you 💕

  • @victoriajameson4582
    @victoriajameson4582 3 года назад

    So proud of you, your mum would be too. Sending you all the love and thinking of you even though I will probably never know you x

  • @taragould4144
    @taragould4144 3 года назад

    🌸🌸🌸 Elle, you have articulated your grief so clearly here. My mum had breast cancer 3 years ago, and I had decided I could never live without her. She is in remission now and I will never be able to explain the gratefulness I feel that she is still here. I think this video would be very comforting for anyone else navigating through the emotions of losing a parent. Well done you for putting your vulnerable pants on and making others feel less alone. Beautiful as always 🌸🌸🌸

  • @courtneycarpenter3303
    @courtneycarpenter3303 3 года назад +1

    The shot were you were talking about how you wish your gorgeous mum was here for your pregnancy/engagement, the light felt so warm and loving. She’s right there with you ❤️

  • @sashapreece-henderson6337
    @sashapreece-henderson6337 3 года назад +3

    I just know that a piece of your mum’s soul is going to shine through your baby boy. I feel it so deep in my bones. And she will guide you into your new journey of motherhood🕊🦋

  • @heyitsmegan1973
    @heyitsmegan1973 3 года назад

    Thank you for this❤️ my mum has a terminal brain tumour and was given 2-5 years about 5 years ago and is still fighting. Although it killed me to watch this, your strength got me through . Thank you💖

  • @iheart1991
    @iheart1991 3 года назад

    you're so strong Elle, you have put Grief into words so eloquently, your mum will be super proud of you

  • @emmalittle2805
    @emmalittle2805 3 года назад

    Sending love and prayers.
    You have come so far! And you are going to be the most incredible Mum and she is so proud of you! ❤️

  • @alanamayknowles1843
    @alanamayknowles1843 3 года назад

    the way the light changes every so often, and sometimes when you say certain phrases or sentences, a bright light shines through the window. your mother is definitely with you always. sending you and katie lots of love angel🤍

  • @joannewalker6641
    @joannewalker6641 3 года назад

    Ellie Darby your just wonderful , i am so sorry for your loss as I myself have a mummy who is not well and I am very concerned but trying to be upbeat and positive. You and Connor deserve all the the love and happiness you are helping me so much through a very tough year. I love Katie too she is just wonderful sending you all the best wishes, stay strong and healthy your mummy would be so proud of you darlings...Love your doggies too
    take care Jo Jo xxx