How do you compromise with Permissive dad and me being A Authoritarian with no yelling - I count to 2 quietly and usually they listen. He is lax on routine and underminding me always. I don't know what to do - her behavior is getting worse and I just can't get him to understand the long-term issues .
As the mother of a very strong-willed 5-year old girl, I feel that "permissive parenting" is often not really a conscious choice. It becomes the default method when you have exhausted any and all attempts to establish authority with little to no results. Back when my daughter was 3.5 years old, her pediatrician said that time outs are necessary. I spent 6 weeks total enforcing time outs several times a day every time my daughter misbehaved only to have her run off and when I held on to her, she would hit, kick, spit, and even pee on me. That's when you kind of slip into "permissive parenting" from chronic hopelessness and exhaustion. And yes, sometimes, at least for a while, there is peace in the home. The child is calm and so is the parent who cannot spend every waking moment controlling a self-directed child who will talk back, fight back, ignore, and continue to do whatever it is that he/she wants to do. I wish people would stop seeing "permissive parenting" as a lazy choice some people are just conveniently making. We all would love to see our children excel academically, socially, go to bed on time, eat healthy food, and be polite. Not every child responds equally to authority. Inclinations are different from birth. I find that leaving my daughter to herself produces OVERALL better results than establishing authority over her, which she is very inclined to defy and resist. I'm not saying permissive parenting produces perfect results. It is a question of which method produces the best results for YOUR FAMILY. For mine, the authoritarian parenting absolutely failed and caused more problems. Also, as the parent of a very strong-willed child, YOU HAVE TO PICK YOUR BATTLES if you want to produce some definite results in some aspects of your child's life. I'm OCD and so I don't tolerate being stinky and dirty. This is where I choose my battles that are non-negotiable, rather than trying to control anything and everything under the sun. Today, I did force my daughter to bathe against her will after about 20 times of her telling me no and fussing about it. But I also let her eat whatever she wanted for dinner without pushing her to eat vegetables tonight. That was my breaking point and I had to chill.
How do you compromise with Permissive dad and me being A Authoritarian with no yelling - I count to 2 quietly and usually they listen. He is lax on routine and underminding me always. I don't know what to do - her behavior is getting worse and I just can't get him to understand the long-term issues .
It is great❤
As the mother of a very strong-willed 5-year old girl, I feel that "permissive parenting" is often not really a conscious choice.
It becomes the default method when you have exhausted any and all attempts to establish authority with little to no results. Back when my daughter was 3.5 years old, her pediatrician said that time outs are necessary. I spent 6 weeks total enforcing time outs several times a day every time my daughter misbehaved only to have her run off and when I held on to her, she would hit, kick, spit, and even pee on me.
That's when you kind of slip into "permissive parenting" from chronic hopelessness and exhaustion. And yes, sometimes, at least for a while, there is peace in the home. The child is calm and so is the parent who cannot spend every waking moment controlling a self-directed child who will talk back, fight back, ignore, and continue to do whatever it is that he/she wants to do.
I wish people would stop seeing "permissive parenting" as a lazy choice some people are just conveniently making. We all would love to see our children excel academically, socially, go to bed on time, eat healthy food, and be polite.
Not every child responds equally to authority. Inclinations are different from birth.
I find that leaving my daughter to herself produces OVERALL better results than establishing authority over her, which she is very inclined to defy and resist.
I'm not saying permissive parenting produces perfect results. It is a question of which method produces the best results for YOUR FAMILY. For mine, the authoritarian parenting absolutely failed and caused more problems.
Also, as the parent of a very strong-willed child, YOU HAVE TO PICK YOUR BATTLES if you want to produce some definite results in some aspects of your child's life.
I'm OCD and so I don't tolerate being stinky and dirty. This is where I choose my battles that are non-negotiable, rather than trying to control anything and everything under the sun.
Today, I did force my daughter to bathe against her will after about 20 times of her telling me no and fussing about it. But I also let her eat whatever she wanted for dinner without pushing her to eat vegetables tonight. That was my breaking point and I had to chill.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.