She doesnt have ownership of her body. She only feels complete when someone is using her body whether a man or a child in her womb. She doesnt know how to just be Nakeda.
That was rape. call a thing a thing. And voluntarily??? A child is impressionable and is susceptible to peer pressure. grown ass adults baited that child with the help of her peers. she was eleven years old for goodness sakes! don't indicate that it must not have been rape so that's why she didn't fight 5 males off her at 11 years old! She was violated and her guardians, society, and community failed her completely!
Jesula Lubin a 12 year old knows better. At 12 I knew better and never did no shit like that. She knew better. If it feels uncomfortable why would she just sit there? Because she chose to. Yes, the boys were wrong...but they’re BOYS just like she’s a GIRL.
Thank you !!! She agreed to go with these boys/men because she was dying for Love and acceptance!! She did not know what she was agreeing to and after the assault started she was probably in shock , pain , fear and traumatized ..this was an 11 year old child.
What I hate about situations like this is when people believe a young girl is being “fast” or whatever, they never ask why or investigate what else is going on to make her seek out that sort of intimacy. And no one ever mentions the fact that girls may go into a situation believing they want to experience intimacy and express their sexuality in very mature or experienced ways but once engaging, realizing it wasn’t appropriate or truly what they wanted. Or better yet, they get taken advantage of and accept it as normalcy just to find value in themselves because someone wanted them in that moment. The need to feel wanted and accepted is the root of all this shit... 💯. I swear I know this to be true!
I agree but I also KNOW that more of us women out there have had similar situations and have not totally spiraled out of control. Many of my peers had their first child at 14, 15, or 16. Somewhere along the line my peers chose better forks in the road and stopped the cycle. I feel this is why most people judge
It’s not” resilience” all the time when it comes to sexual assault. Sometimes it’s shock. Sometimes it’s going numb to survive. The baby was 11 in a room with 5 boys violating her. Many girls in similar situations don’t make it out the room. Sexual assault/ rape is about power and control. Not feelings. The “ can I get away with it” and group think have been the catalyst for some of the most atrocious things in history. You don’t have to understand to empathize. People always say “ I would have fought” “it wouldn’t be me” until it is and the fight or flight doesn’t show up like you thought it would. Idk if this woman will ever recover, I hope those babies can be the generation to break this vicious cycle.
I was JUST thinking this!! She was an inexperienced 11 year old in a room with five boys/men. Like, can you imagine what was going through her mind? He lost me a bit on this part.
Chary Williams you are so right. It's very easy to say what you would do when it's not happening to you. Trust me. I was in complete shock and it's very hard to snap out of that when someone is forcing themselves on you.... you really don't understand how that affects you going forth. The reason why people can't understand how someone can start or. continue destructive behavior is because we arent thibking rationally. Idk. It's hard to explain. It took me years to realize the root cause of my behavior, to deal with it & convince myself it wasn't my fault. And it does not help when you share your story with a friend and they call you stupid, desperate and tell you that you don't love yourself, under the guise of tough love. It all just sucks really. Just try your best everyday to heal. ❤
This is why we as human beings shouldn't be so quick to judge others. You never know what someone has been through. This woman was sexually violated at least three times in her life. May God continue to Bless her and her family.
She probably was scared that if she stopped them that they probably would hurt her more. It was 5 of them. My heart went out to her. I loved this video.
Majority of BLACK WOMEN are taught to protect their pain meaning deal with it and not heal!Some broken parents feel you can control a broken CHILD easier than a healed CHILD!
I agree Tyeda. We are taught that "Our" tears"don't count and we are to be strong and swallow our emotions.because there is no time for us to be emotional.
beautiful me It is the truth that is why the majority of Us BLACK WOMEN are broken and not Built up by our own kind the ones who are suppose to love us!Most of the BLACK female shows are of broken BLACK WOMEN breaking each other!
What makes sexual abuse of children so horrible is that the kid might not fight it. They might even enjoy it. But when you grow up, and you realize what happened to you, that’s when the pain hits you. And the guilt. And you don’t say anything bc you’re ashamed. You feel at fault. This is how it happened for myself and my friends who were molested and raped by a family member or friend. It is serious trauma. I still deal with it. I no longer carry the guilt, but I’m angry and I don’t trust men. Any man! For me it manifest in I don’t want a man to touch me. For her....whew. But she at least needs to be on BC. But that perverse spirit is REAL!! Your friend and that woman need help! Prayer! I know you’re not “Christian” but let’s just say that transfer of energy is not something you can just shake off. It’s real.
Sasja Parson yes. They may enjoy the pleasure not knowing they are being taken advantage of and molested. A lot of victims don’t know their victims until they’re older. Depending on how young they are when the abuse starts.
The Good Comment I don’t think a child has enough emotional maturity or psychological develop to enjoy sex because they cannot differentiate between a violation and consent....that’s where the parenting comes in....I am a survivor of childhood molestation and I only told my father about 5 years ago I’m 44 now...and when I approached my mother about it she gave me the same brush off as she did when I was supposed to have my menstral talk with her and also when I began to ask advise about pre menopause...and I remember in my frustration reaching out to her sister/my aunt to get clarity and it was my aunt who told me that they were both sexually violated as kids....I know and studying to become a behavior interventionist to aid and assist patients with all sorts of issues but iyanla has it right about behavior being repetitive and and I’ll further say opportunistic because if a parent doesn’t take the opportunity to train up that child correctly and now they don’t have the luxury to be ashamed or bothered because that’s the sacrifice they decided to make when they decided to become a parent....so if they don’t afford their own child the chance to lay bare the ugly truths and repeat age old stupidity of burying skeletons in closets and under rugs then the behavior will ultimately repeat itself because that is all that has be exemplified....we are all human beings but we are not as highly emotionally evolved as we would like to think
I see that there are some people in the comments asking “how”, “why”, and “it couldn’t be me”. Be CAREFUL. God, life, the universe or whatever you believe in has a way of humbling you. There are broken people, raising broken people. The cycle is never ending if you allow it to be. Don’t be so quick to judge. People are going through some real mental things in this world.
I didn't watch last night's episode and only saw clips online. But you saying this child had a train ran on her at age 11 because a boy said she'd be a woman if she allowed it to happen, just tells me that lady never got affection. Not affection from a man, but affection period. Her mother having her at age 14 and being a secret because her father was married says her mother wasn't raise with any love so she didn't know how to give it. Outside of the abuse she witness from her mother's husband, her mother probably emotionally abused her as well. Too many parents curse their children out like dogs, calling their daughters bitches and sons muthafuckas, and they wonder why their children aren't doing better than them. You gotta give someone the tools to do so.
lilbaby245 I’ve seen mothers cursing their kids out like they’re strangers on the streets and it just baffles me to the very core and some are young kids like 4 and up
It's so disgusting and I just wonder where their minds are to do that. I don't have any kids, but I just couldn't imagine fixing my mouth to call my 6-year-old daughter a bitch. The hell would she know about that?
Speeeeeak! It breaks my heart to see/hear young mother's talking to their children like they are adults in the street ... screaming profanity at them. Makes me sad and wonder if these young woman are mentally ready to raise children. They obviously need help and direction because they are raising the next generation.
They're doin' 2 their kids what was done 2 them. U would think that they would want better 4 their kids, but nobody wanna break that generational ignorance.
Dineva she was an 11 year old girl in a house full of MEN when I was 11 14 year old boys had facial hair and were a lot taller than me. As an 11 year old who could be convinced to go inside that house you damn sure wouldn’t have the confidence to leave .
Good Morning! I loved your review and when you said “Iyanla is doing the work of the Lord”. A lot of people speak negatively about what she’s doing but I think she’s helping thousands of people who may have experienced the same thing.
If you’re one woman or young girl in a room with more than one man, you are terrified. I highly doubt that she felt she could leave without losing her life.
Morning. It’s sounds like the trauma may have led to a sexual addiction. Unfortunately Mrs.V has taught us that once some trauma happens you tend to get stuck at that age; so this baby is possibly 12.
The fact that noone was looking for her after all that time is the first problem... and second. I'm really not understanding this rape culture. Just sickening
I think she was pregnant again during their taping, because Iyanla kept telling her that she shouldn’t have anymore kids, but the girl didn’t respond she just displayed a blank stare!
@ 5:30 "she never spoke about being held down, it seemed voluntary", "allowed those boys to do that to you" i'm sorry, but you have GOT to speak on adolescent sexual assault/rape/violation with more empathy and information/education if you're going to use your large public platform to do so. it's irresponsible otherwise. NOTHING ABOUT RAPE IS VOLUNTARY. if a 12 year old girl had the actual wherewithal to do what you're speaking about, she wouldn't have shown up to that house to BEGIN with. you have a tendency to be lowkey victim-blamey when it comes to black women and girls, and i'm calling it out on this one. i ain't that big of a fan of ANYONE to let them say some b.s. and not get checked on it.
Lynn W okay? That burned me up enough for me to comment earlier. Maybe because I have an understanding of trauma and the longterm affects it has on people emotionally,mentally,spiritually and physically. Some of these people in the comments are broken and hard hearted. They probably come from families where incest and molestation are common practice and well known family secrets.
Lynn W I think he was trying to differentiate how voluntarily going somewhere knowing and agreeing that you're going to have sex with 5 people Is starkly different from being held and raped against your will and consent. Weather she was a child or not this act was something she willingly submitted to after being told about it because she wanted to be a "woman". If all of the boys were underage of course the 20 year old being exempt, They wouldn't be able to be charged because no crime was committed. Having sex with a girl when you're a child yourself is not rape. So it did seem voluntarily and she did let them do that to her.
*Quick Tip for anyone reading this that is a rape survivor* As a 2x rape survivor i recognized this woman’s pain. I was blessed to have a mother that was in recovery (over 30 years clean). When I finally told my mom about my rapes at 10 years after they occurred, she encouraged me to work the 12 steps of AA. I never struggled with substance abuse but it was the most healing thing she could’ve ever offered me. ESPECIALLY STEP 4!!! Step 4 forces you to write about your life traumas & pinpoint patterns of behavior that stem from your trauma. It was so freeing to see in black & white that I wasn’t just an angry woman with a short fuse, but a hurt child attempting to protect myself from being hurt again. I learned that negative things that I assumed “well that’s just the way I am” weren’t who I was at all but when you’re violated in your formative years, these patterns become engrained into your being. If you are struggling with pain from a rape trauma, physical abuse, or anything else. Please give the 12 steps a try, they are a great healing blueprint for addicts & regular people alike❤️
GM. 👍🏿Great review. The first question that came to my mind was, how was this eleven year old child out of sight from daylight to sundown. Also, who was doing her laundry? Our children ( boys and girls) dirty underwear tell us a lot about what's going on with them.
Tikela White Where were the elders, period? I know it was dark, but no one saw this child struggling to walk down the street with blood all over her pants? Her mother never went to look for her? This child was neglected, and fell victim to a group of monsters. I couldn’t imagine how alone this girl felt.
I thought this too, but you've got a lot of single parents working multiple jobs to support kids they never get to see, and the kids are left to do for themselves (including laundry, food, etc.) Then there parents that just aren't there, out doing whatever they want to do. Sad state either way.
Had to pause vid to comment - humans need physical contact. Studies have proven this, the problem comes when comfort gets confused with sexual contact. I believe that is why so many folks get into sexual relationships. They need the comfort but get it mixed up with sex
Honestly, this should have been at least a three part episode. The mother of all those children barely scratched the surface of her trauma. I am not at all surprised that she returned to the same behaviour. I knew upon leaving she started to say things she thought Iyanla wanted to hear. She knows how to pretend.
Funky you are blaming her. People have different reactions to danger. There is fight, flight, and freezing up while having out of body interactions and/or feelings. She was raped. An eleven year old doesn't have the capacity to understand what is happening and she was mislead by someone in her child's mind that she trusted. 14 to 20 year old males?! Not to mention legally she was not of age to give consent. She didn't have to be held down. She was more than likely in shock. Have you ever seen those movies where people just stand wide eyed while a monster approaches? Humans can have an overload of info and just check out of their body and/or any reaction that makes sense. You are intelligent and your voice is powerful. Your opinions in this video are catering towards rape culture.
Thank GOD for my Father and Mother teaching me and being amazing parents. My Dad was such an amazing role model as to this day. I cant imagine having trifling parents.
Morning D! I'm just glad I made it here before the rest of the funky bunch.. I try not to judge other people's life or lifestyle choices and I know that women (esp black) tend to have a lot of issues growing up esp. when it comes to our sexuality so I'll refrain from being shady. I will say this tho I saw nothing but Generational curses last night and unless they get some real counseling she will be having baby number 7..
She got too much going on and she is way immature because she was like the wife had nothing to do with her she got a lot of growing to do too bad she doing it at the expense of her children and her dignity
The way she described him was off to me. "Big" and "shiny" aren't descriptives usually associated with a man. And she talked like he was the hottest new pair of shoes. That let me know right there that she stopped maturing at 11. But her mother stopped maturing at 14, because she didn't give her child any tools to do better. Children raising children.
lilbaby245 you hit the nail on the head,she was acting almost like a child at one point,my heart hurts for her being raped at 11,how do you move on from that without damaging others,like her kids
Are u a Idiot? Kids are BIG mistakes if they aren't planned. I end up paying for the mistake kids. This made me sick on my stomach. Why would you do that to children. you are the problem because you just as dumb as this girl , Have some self respect. SMDH
JuJuBeans you need to calm down. Reread her ENTIRE comment. Yall are coming from the same school of thought. Furthermore your tired taxes are not touching government social services. Its too early for "a child of a 2 parent home whos parents werent trifling" to be so angry.
PYT29 I know it..& been knowing cause I've been watching Dineva for the last 7 years but I still like to call him Nessa Gurl sometimes & I will continue to do so whenever I feel like it so be prepared to stay irritated💁😁
I had my first daughter at 14, my second at 15. I graduated high school with honors went to college and graduated early. I made a good life for me and my girls. I met my husband at 22 got married at 28 and had two more children with my husband (at 29 and 31).The one thing that I felt guilty about was having my daughters at such a young age. I tried my best to give them the best life possible with no help from their father. I always think the only way that I got through this was MY MOTHER! She supported me through ALL of this. I would literally be nothing without her!!
And also between having my first set of children until I was 20 I had to have therapy for underlying issues about my dad divorcing my mom AND ME when I was 11.
I am so over this “Don’t judge” mentality that a lot of people have. This is why things in our community are going on and not addressed. Y’all stay giving people a pass for ignorant behavior. Many of you have cycles in your families that you could break but you’re always hollering “don’t judge me” because you want to wallow in your mess. Get up! Take responsibility! Stop passing these issues and bad mindsets down to generations to come. INTERRUPT THE PATTERN. Make your daughters strive to be a Wife not a Baby Mom. Make your sons strive to be Husbands and not sperm donors. Teach our children the importance of education and being an important asset to our community. Make this type of behavior accountable. Maybe if we make this type of behavior taboo, women would make better decisions.
Gm Nessa girl. I needed this call this morning. This was a very emotional show last night. All I'm going to say is I'm praying for them & hopefully this young lady will learn to know her worth. She's got a ways to go but there's nothing to hard for God. He will heal, deliver & set them both free. They just have to do the work. Everyone have a blessed Sunday..
I love your talks so much, I have this situation in my family, 27 with 7 kids, husband don't work, she works, and I realize, there is some trauma that caused this. So many of my black sisters and young girls are suffering.
True, why is it people act like they have NO control ova there reproduction and make excuses as to why they have loaded themselves, their families and those kids down to suffer like this
The way how she defended that married man.. I was disgusted.. in this case the reflection on how men have treated you is how she has treats herself/self respect, how could this married man propose a woman have a baby..and she agree? He don't have no interest in her he controlling, Iyanla was right tht speaks to character..
Now I know you went to Florida State and got your degree in Economics and they didn't teach about reproduction etc but IUD in the arm? 🤔 Great review, insightful as always. Much love! 😘😍
More people been through this more often than not male and female. This is the type of subject that goes untouched and it shouldn't! This has infact devastated alot of people. It is a very traumatic experience.
Trauma from the past is tragic and counseling is vital... However past trauma is not a reason to continue to make or live in pain everyday after. People have to make the choice to mentally free themselves so they can live the rest of their lives. Past trauma is not an excuse to make bad choices for the rest of your life....
How could you allow ANY MAN to touch your daughter's private parts. Under no circumstance is that okay. He would be dead ten times over. I'm so hurt for this young lady. This is sad. A damn shame.
What about the fact the mom's dad was also a married man, just like the grandbaby! Smh literally repeating the cycle....but hopefully thats the only thing repeated. They definitely need some intensive trama treatment to heal such deep wounds. Great review Q, keep up the great work 😊
I wanted to add that I recently heard an excerpt from another podcast that I believe best summarizes the absence of a mother from the household and the lasting impact it can have on a child. To paraphrase, hunter-gather societies rest upon the backs of the maternal figures (mother). Children's behavior, socialization skills, and education almost revolves around that of the mother's upbringing and teachings. Greater than that of a paternal figure. It was even doctrine that the absence of a mother from the household is a form of a "child abuse" and "child neglect" based upon these findings. Basically, no maternal figure is even more detrimental to a child than the absence of a paternal figure. I think it can definitely tie into this woman's situation.
L F Right. How small are 11yo girls compared to teenage boys and grown men? There is nothing that she could've done to stop them from raping her at all. Their perverted minds were set. She is definitely a victim in all of this. Im sure she didn't know what " becoming a woman" entailed.
@@Kre8iviT27 I know, it's so sad what happened to her. The fact that she couldn't tell her mother about it tells me a lot about their relationship. Maybe she hid it in fear of being victim blamed, and possibly being punished for it. Every child should feel comfortable in opening up to their parents about anything. Also, predators know how to spot a vulnerable child. She was seeking the love and acceptance she didn't receive at home. Some of those guys were over the age of 18, what kind of a person would do this to a child? Those who were involved will get their karma. I truly feel sorry for her and hope she finds healing. It's not too late to turn her life around and break the cycle.
I have always wondered about girls like this.. I KNEW something was deeper than them just being fast.. Smh this is so sad but it needed to be said and this episode will change lives hopefully... Its not cute to have all these kids you cant afford in an unstable environment
I think the person who convinced her was possibly someone she trusted. She goes in thinking she was doing something not only for herself but to please this person, which made sense in her defense with baby daddy #6. You could see the anger and guilt in both of them but also the healing and understanding. However, the sexual addiction was not completely address even though she " promised" not to have anymore children. She does need therapy.
Yesssss can’t wait to hear your commentary on this!!!!! I’m here for it! Once again you were spot on! I appreciate the empathy and compassion you showed. I too hope the you pansy and the mother grow as individuals! Peace and Blessings to all!
I genuinely dont understand the mental space a woman has to be in to sit there and let 5 different men (including one thats spoken for) ejaculate in you. You have 6 children with 6 different identities. I can understand her trauma BUT at this point there are children involved. She knows she aint right. After the 3rd child she shouldve gotten herself together so she could be a mother. That includes therapy!
Dionne McCrary when you havent been raised the correct way you dont understand. This situation is hard to understand. Yes at some point you have wonder...ok where is the common sense but in the beginning she didnt have the tools to know anything. Its just sad. This situation is too complex.
Trauma causes the mind to compartmentalize and disassociate on levels one can’t even imagine. Mental health needs to be discussed a lot more in minority communities. This is so sad.
It's funny how we as women of color are quick to judge this young lady. As young men these boys needed to have a level of respect for themselves to say no.
You are very good about victim blaming, Q. It's not about realness. There just seems to be something lacking in your center. You have a hard time putting yourself in other people's experience. You victim blame and then say, well I can't really speak on that because I'm not this or I'm not that. But you are not emotionally developed enough to empathize like you believe you are. It's a common thread in these videos. Especially towards Black women that you love to emulate.
I'm just gone say it, you can tell you have an good heart, it takes alot to get on a platform and speak truths, somebody gonna see this and hopefully it helps them
Idk why she had all of those kids, just to dump them on her mother. She asked a male friend of hers, to take her sons. Why?! They're YOUR children! You can never get rid of them!
Courtney Tamara sometimes, we can't deal with our children ourselves. I know they are her children, but it may be better for them to be with someone else while she works on herself. Imagine if those children stayed with her and the danger they would be in.
Mary Davis Yeah... but then the solution to that, would be to stop having children. If she feels like she can't handle them, she should've taken precaution to not get pregnant. Or at least stop at Baby #1.
Mary Davis if she can lay down and give birth over and over again, I’m sure she can get on birth control, get her tubes tied something. At what point is she going to realize she has an illness and shouldn’t keep conceiving. And to add insult to injury, she was ‘mad’ at Iyana for speaking on the fact she had baby by a man she knew was a married. So, for me if she can defend him, she should know better to not keep having children she can’t afford to raise mentally, physically, emotionally and financially.
nothing new down here in ratchet city (shreveport) louisiana i know a female thats 27 28 with 8 kids 4 or 5 baby daddies wouldnt be shocked if she's pregnant right now...like a taxi cab service outside her house on father's day smh
Lol I thought you were talking about Strongmommy chrissy here on youtube for a min lol She just turned 28, and gave birth to her 8th awhile ago and i think she got like 5 baby daddies too
I'm fro. baton rouge and I'm willing to be that women has sexual assault and trauma. Her kids need to be taken away and given therapy. Or else they cycle will continue.
Love your commentary. This was a touching show. Who are we to judge? I learnt we never know how one has suffered. The story of the 5 boys broke me. She coped the best way she knew how. It would take YEARS of the right therapy to "fix" her. hat's I bet the mom had some sexual trauma as well.
Like Paulo Coelho said, "a mistake repeated more than once [becomes] a decision." I think that even individuals who are acting on some form of trauma have a minuscule of free-will after a certain point to see that they aren't enjoying where/what they're doing anymore and to at least say, "I don't like this anymore," and to then go out and seek help. I definitely don't blame anyone for their trauma, but at some point in life if you keep walking through the mud and don't acknowledge the mistake or pain, you become just as complicit in the pain you're going through.
My experience was similar in the sense of my friend told me you don’t say nothing during sex.. so yeah it hurt but I made no noise or movement.. cause my friend said that’s what you do.. come to find out my friend had to be quiet because her bf mother was in the next room and they were in the living room... smdh I look bk like why did I listen to her 😩😩😩 but if someone told her that is how she becomes a woman that’s what she believe....
This was a really good and sad episode all at the same time. All I seen was just trauma and a generational curse that has to be broken. The daughter have to change her mindset but I think she definitely will need more counseling to do so.
She doesnt have ownership of her body. She only feels complete when someone is using her body whether a man or a child in her womb. She doesnt know how to just be Nakeda.
Kai D Well said. This is exactly how she's translating her worth....how someone else is using her body.
Kai D This is the most insightful comment I've read on this episode on any channel.
That’s a very good point. I think you’re on to something
Well said Sis.... Well said 👏
That was rape. call a thing a thing. And voluntarily??? A child is impressionable and is susceptible to peer pressure. grown ass adults baited that child with the help of her peers. she was eleven years old for goodness sakes! don't indicate that it must not have been rape so that's why she didn't fight 5 males off her at 11 years old! She was violated and her guardians, society, and community failed her completely!
Queendom Life That's Sexual Battery on a Minor here in FL. A Class A Felony here in this state, consentual sex or not!
She was taken advantage of raped and it’s a damn shame. Peer pressure along with what happened once she was behind closed doors it’s truly sad .
It's shameful. I hurt for her.
And the men are sick, 14 is still a child so i’ll spare that... but what kind of 20 year old wants to have sex with an 11 year old?
Jesula Lubin a 12 year old knows better. At 12 I knew better and never did no shit like that. She knew better. If it feels uncomfortable why would she just sit there? Because she chose to. Yes, the boys were wrong...but they’re BOYS just like she’s a GIRL.
At 11 years old there is no consent.
Shawn Satrina Rodriguez none!
Thank you !!! She agreed to go with these boys/men because she was dying for Love and acceptance!! She did not know what she was agreeing to and after the assault started she was probably in shock , pain , fear and traumatized ..this was an 11 year old child.
mssonyablade exactly. She was only a baby. I can't even imagine.😖
Preach :/
Why in the hell would the mother call a grown ass man to discipline her daughter?!?! Relative or otherwise!
Latise Wilson Right! And behind closed doors without her at that. She should've mommed up and had a talk with her daughter.
Because that's probably how she was raised
That confused me as well. Especially if he wasn't her father!
Thats the same thing im questioning as well, like wtf. If you wanna knw if she fucking take her to the dr
Latise Wilson because she was only a 25 yr old of a 11 yr old when it happened
What I hate about situations like this is when people believe a young girl is being “fast” or whatever, they never ask why or investigate what else is going on to make her seek out that sort of intimacy. And no one ever mentions the fact that girls may go into a situation believing they want to experience intimacy and express their sexuality in very mature or experienced ways but once engaging, realizing it wasn’t appropriate or truly what they wanted. Or better yet, they get taken advantage of and accept it as normalcy just to find value in themselves because someone wanted them in that moment. The need to feel wanted and accepted is the root of all this shit... 💯. I swear I know this to be true!
It is definitely true.
Dominique Powell-Saidykhan she’s not well she’s not even caring for her children 🙏🏾🙏🏾
I agree but I also KNOW that more of us women out there have had similar situations and have not totally spiraled out of control. Many of my peers had their first child at 14, 15, or 16. Somewhere along the line my peers chose better forks in the road and stopped the cycle. I feel this is why most people judge
Dominique Powell-Saidykhan I concur!!!! Totally sis.!!!
Dominique Powell-Saidykhan she should still b using bc's to stop getting pregnant cause she cant take care of them
It’s not” resilience” all the time when it comes to sexual assault. Sometimes it’s shock. Sometimes it’s going numb to survive. The baby was 11 in a room with 5 boys violating her. Many girls in similar situations don’t make it out the room. Sexual assault/ rape is about power and control. Not feelings. The “ can I get away with it” and group think have been the catalyst for some of the most atrocious things in history. You don’t have to understand to empathize. People always say “ I would have fought” “it wouldn’t be me” until it is and the fight or flight doesn’t show up like you thought it would. Idk if this woman will ever recover, I hope those babies can be the generation to break this vicious cycle.
Chary Williams You hit the nail on the head!
Remember the age range was like 14-20 so at least 1 of them was a grown ass man! That was definitely rape
Chary Williams very well said
I was JUST thinking this!! She was an inexperienced 11 year old in a room with five boys/men. Like, can you imagine what was going through her mind? He lost me a bit on this part.
Chary Williams you are so right. It's very easy to say what you would do when it's not happening to you. Trust me. I was in complete shock and it's very hard to snap out of that when someone is forcing themselves on you.... you really don't understand how that affects you going forth. The reason why people can't understand how someone can start or. continue destructive behavior is because we arent thibking rationally. Idk. It's hard to explain. It took me years to realize the root cause of my behavior, to deal with it & convince myself it wasn't my fault. And it does not help when you share your story with a friend and they call you stupid, desperate and tell you that you don't love yourself, under the guise of tough love. It all just sucks really. Just try your best everyday to heal. ❤
This is why we as human beings shouldn't be so quick to judge others. You never know what someone has been through. This woman was sexually violated at least three times in her life. May God continue to Bless her and her family.
Nk Ultra I agree.
Nk Ultra Your response is very positive.
Msbutter love Thank you. I try.
It's true.
She probably was scared that if she stopped them that they probably would hurt her more. It was 5 of them. My heart went out to her. I loved this video.
Dang she was gang raped.
Majority of BLACK WOMEN are taught to protect their pain meaning deal with it and not heal!Some broken parents feel you can control a broken CHILD easier than a healed CHILD!
Tyeda Jones truth! Glory!
I agree Tyeda. We are taught that "Our" tears"don't count and we are to be strong and swallow our emotions.because there is no time for us to be emotional.
beautiful me It is the truth that is why the majority of Us BLACK WOMEN are broken and not Built up by our own kind the ones who are suppose to love us!Most of the BLACK female shows are of broken BLACK WOMEN breaking each other!
Alicia Harding That is why our walk in growth is crooked because we are carrying pain long term that should have only been temporal in our lives!
Preach!!!!
funky daniva you should be a life coach . you know How to Connect The dots. & Your commentery is ABOVE PAR!
I feel the same way. Go get another degree! He has too much good sense!
Yesss. He can be totally silly and amusing, yet has soooo much good advice and speaks it well. ❤❤❤❤❤
I agree! His thoughts and advice is always on point! Very intelligent and well spoken!
JAI Banks Very much so!!
Baby when she said the lady was shipping kids to the grandma like they are fruit .... bih I bout died 😭
Ms Gina "Send em in the mail like fruit" 😂
Yes sis
What makes sexual abuse of children so horrible is that the kid might not fight it. They might even enjoy it. But when you grow up, and you realize what happened to you, that’s when the pain hits you. And the guilt. And you don’t say anything bc you’re ashamed. You feel at fault. This is how it happened for myself and my friends who were molested and raped by a family member or friend. It is serious trauma. I still deal with it. I no longer carry the guilt, but I’m angry and I don’t trust men. Any man! For me it manifest in I don’t want a man to touch me. For her....whew. But she at least needs to be on BC. But that perverse spirit is REAL!! Your friend and that woman need help! Prayer! I know you’re not “Christian” but let’s just say that transfer of energy is not something you can just shake off. It’s real.
The Good Comment Enjoy it😒
Sasja Parson yes. They may enjoy the pleasure not knowing they are being taken advantage of and molested. A lot of victims don’t know their victims until they’re older. Depending on how young they are when the abuse starts.
The Good Comment What you say is unfortunately true. 😢
The Good Comment I don’t think a child has enough emotional maturity or psychological develop to enjoy sex because they cannot differentiate between a violation and consent....that’s where the parenting comes in....I am a survivor of childhood molestation and I only told my father about 5 years ago I’m 44 now...and when I approached my mother about it she gave me the same brush off as she did when I was supposed to have my menstral talk with her and also when I began to ask advise about pre menopause...and I remember in my frustration reaching out to her sister/my aunt to get clarity and it was my aunt who told me that they were both sexually violated as kids....I know and studying to become a behavior interventionist to aid and assist patients with all sorts of issues but iyanla has it right about behavior being repetitive and and I’ll further say opportunistic because if a parent doesn’t take the opportunity to train up that child correctly and now they don’t have the luxury to be ashamed or bothered because that’s the sacrifice they decided to make when they decided to become a parent....so if they don’t afford their own child the chance to lay bare the ugly truths and repeat age old stupidity of burying skeletons in closets and under rugs then the behavior will ultimately repeat itself because that is all that has be exemplified....we are all human beings but we are not as highly emotionally evolved as we would like to think
msb thateacher AWESOME response!!!
I see that there are some people in the comments asking “how”, “why”, and “it couldn’t be me”. Be CAREFUL. God, life, the universe or whatever you believe in has a way of humbling you. There are broken people, raising broken people. The cycle is never ending if you allow it to be. Don’t be so quick to judge. People are going through some real mental things in this world.
I didn't watch last night's episode and only saw clips online. But you saying this child had a train ran on her at age 11 because a boy said she'd be a woman if she allowed it to happen, just tells me that lady never got affection. Not affection from a man, but affection period. Her mother having her at age 14 and being a secret because her father was married says her mother wasn't raise with any love so she didn't know how to give it. Outside of the abuse she witness from her mother's husband, her mother probably emotionally abused her as well. Too many parents curse their children out like dogs, calling their daughters bitches and sons muthafuckas, and they wonder why their children aren't doing better than them. You gotta give someone the tools to do so.
lilbaby245 I’ve seen mothers cursing their kids out like they’re strangers on the streets and it just baffles me to the very core and some are young kids like 4 and up
It's so disgusting and I just wonder where their minds are to do that. I don't have any kids, but I just couldn't imagine fixing my mouth to call my 6-year-old daughter a bitch. The hell would she know about that?
Speeeeeak! It breaks my heart to see/hear young mother's talking to their children like they are adults in the street ... screaming profanity at them. Makes me sad and wonder if these young woman are mentally ready to raise children. They obviously need help and direction because they are raising the next generation.
They're doin' 2 their kids what was done 2 them. U would think that they would want better 4 their kids, but nobody wanna break that generational ignorance.
Dineva she was an 11 year old girl in a house full of MEN when I was 11 14 year old boys had facial hair and were a lot taller than me. As an 11 year old who could be convinced to go inside that house you damn sure wouldn’t have the confidence to leave .
As a 9 yr ol teen boys came on to me. I had grown breast at that age when they tried to get me i ran for my life
Whoo Q..your internet is fired up..all these quick uploads😍😍..Im living..
Every adult is not Grown know that!
Thank you! Some are children trapped in adult bodies
True
@924MUSIC . Truth.
Good Morning! I loved your review and when you said “Iyanla is doing the work of the Lord”. A lot of people speak negatively about what she’s doing but I think she’s helping thousands of people who may have experienced the same thing.
She is the best love her
She's hurt down to her soul....Her soul needs healing from the multiple traumas, starting with *her conception and birth*
Your on point sis
Yep
If you’re one woman or young girl in a room with more than one man, you are terrified. I highly doubt that she felt she could leave without losing her life.
Exactly Right.
Morning.
It’s sounds like the trauma may have led to a sexual addiction. Unfortunately Mrs.V has taught us that once some trauma happens you tend to get stuck at that age; so this baby is possibly 12.
tasharenay Good Point... 👍🏾
Yes that's what I was thinking.
The fact that noone was looking for her after all that time is the first problem... and second. I'm really not understanding this rape culture. Just sickening
I think she was pregnant again during their taping, because Iyanla kept telling her that she shouldn’t have anymore kids, but the girl didn’t respond she just displayed a blank stare!
Subrina Blue I said the same thing!!
Subrina Blue wow i hope not ..
I sweeeeeaaaaarrrrrrr I thought the exact same thing!!!!!
Took the words right out of my mouth
I thought that too.
@ 5:30
"she never spoke about being held down, it seemed voluntary", "allowed those boys to do that to you"
i'm sorry, but you have GOT to speak on adolescent sexual assault/rape/violation with more empathy and information/education if you're going to use your large public platform to do so. it's irresponsible otherwise.
NOTHING ABOUT RAPE IS VOLUNTARY.
if a 12 year old girl had the actual wherewithal to do what you're speaking about, she wouldn't have shown up to that house to BEGIN with. you have a tendency to be lowkey victim-blamey when it comes to black women and girls, and i'm calling it out on this one. i ain't that big of a fan of ANYONE to let them say some b.s. and not get checked on it.
Lynn W okay? That burned me up enough for me to comment earlier. Maybe because I have an understanding of trauma and the longterm affects it has on people emotionally,mentally,spiritually and physically. Some of these people in the comments are broken and hard hearted. They probably come from families where incest and molestation are common practice and well known family secrets.
Lynn W I think he was trying to differentiate how voluntarily going somewhere knowing and agreeing that you're going to have sex with 5 people Is starkly different from being held and raped against your will and consent. Weather she was a child or not this act was something she willingly submitted to after being told about it because she wanted to be a "woman". If all of the boys were underage of course the 20 year old being exempt, They wouldn't be able to be charged because no crime was committed. Having sex with a girl when you're a child yourself is not rape. So it did seem voluntarily and she did let them do that to her.
Lynn W Dinevah isn't an expert. Neither is vanzant
I couldn't have said it better myself
"low key victim blamey...
*Quick Tip for anyone reading this that is a rape survivor*
As a 2x rape survivor i recognized this woman’s pain. I was blessed to have a mother that was in recovery (over 30 years clean). When I finally told my mom about my rapes at 10 years after they occurred, she encouraged me to work the 12 steps of AA. I never struggled with substance abuse but it was the most healing thing she could’ve ever offered me. ESPECIALLY STEP 4!!! Step 4 forces you to write about your life traumas & pinpoint patterns of behavior that stem from your trauma. It was so freeing to see in black & white that I wasn’t just an angry woman with a short fuse, but a hurt child attempting to protect myself from being hurt again. I learned that negative things that I assumed “well that’s just the way I am” weren’t who I was at all but when you’re violated in your formative years, these patterns become engrained into your being.
If you are struggling with pain from a rape trauma, physical abuse, or anything else. Please give the 12 steps a try, they are a great healing blueprint for addicts & regular people alike❤️
I wish i could talk to my mom about what happened to me. It happened to my sister also
God bless you ❤️
GM. 👍🏿Great review. The first question that came to my mind was, how was this eleven year old child out of sight from daylight to sundown. Also, who was doing her laundry? Our children ( boys and girls) dirty underwear tell us a lot about what's going on with them.
Tikela White
Where were the elders, period? I know it was dark, but no one saw this child struggling to walk down the street with blood all over her pants? Her mother never went to look for her? This child was neglected, and fell victim to a group of monsters.
I couldn’t imagine how alone this girl felt.
Tikela White Whew Chile, that's how my mama found out I lost my virginity.
👏👏👏👏👏👏 thank you! You disappear all day long at 11?
I thought this too, but you've got a lot of single parents working multiple jobs to support kids they never get to see, and the kids are left to do for themselves (including laundry, food, etc.) Then there parents that just aren't there, out doing whatever they want to do. Sad state either way.
Had to pause vid to comment - humans need physical contact. Studies have proven this, the problem comes when comfort gets confused with sexual contact. I believe that is why so many folks get into sexual relationships. They need the comfort but get it mixed up with sex
Danielle Byers Yes. Exactly this.
You are so right
How
Your facial expression in the thumbnail 💀😂
monique__91 pure disgust 😭😭
Right lol had me rollin!
monique__91 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Is everythingggggg
monique__91 instant clickbait 😂😂😂😂
Honestly, this should have been at least a three part episode. The mother of all those children barely scratched the surface of her trauma. I am not at all surprised that she returned to the same behaviour. I knew upon leaving she started to say things she thought Iyanla wanted to hear. She knows how to pretend.
Funky you are blaming her. People have different reactions to danger. There is fight, flight, and freezing up while having out of body interactions and/or feelings. She was raped. An eleven year old doesn't have the capacity to understand what is happening and she was mislead by someone in her child's mind that she trusted. 14 to 20 year old males?! Not to mention legally she was not of age to give consent. She didn't have to be held down. She was more than likely in shock. Have you ever seen those movies where people just stand wide eyed while a monster approaches? Humans can have an overload of info and just check out of their body and/or any reaction that makes sense. You are intelligent and your voice is powerful. Your opinions in this video are catering towards rape culture.
Your on point with her being frozen in her trauma
Thank GOD for my Father and Mother teaching me and being amazing parents. My Dad was such an amazing role model as to this day. I cant imagine having trifling parents.
Morning D! I'm just glad I made it here before the rest of the funky bunch.. I try not to judge other people's life or lifestyle choices and I know that women (esp black) tend to have a lot of issues growing up esp. when it comes to our sexuality so I'll refrain from being shady. I will say this tho I saw nothing but Generational curses last night and unless they get some real counseling she will be having baby number 7..
Scorpio Shoe Lover ****** Exactly!
I agree generation curses she needs to ask Jesus to heal her spiritually and fight the warfare of spiritual realms
Scorpio Shoe Lover ****** sad but true!!!
I agree!! She not once said that she's on birth control and does not want to have more children.
God help her!
She got too much going on and she is way immature because she was like the wife had nothing to do with her she got a lot of growing to do too bad she doing it at the expense of her children and her dignity
Nikki Smith I was ready to fight her when she got mad and defend the husband she still seeing and just had his baby smh
The way she described him was off to me. "Big" and "shiny" aren't descriptives usually associated with a man. And she talked like he was the hottest new pair of shoes. That let me know right there that she stopped maturing at 11. But her mother stopped maturing at 14, because she didn't give her child any tools to do better. Children raising children.
lilbaby245 you hit the nail on the head,she was acting almost like a child at one point,my heart hurts for her being raped at 11,how do you move on from that without damaging others,like her kids
I am watching your review before I even watch the episode all because of your thumbnail🤗🤗🤗🤗
Babies are not a mistake when you purposely lay down without protection.
yes they are, that's stupid.
Girl if u had a baby for everytime you had unprotected sex how many would you hv?
Are u a Idiot? Kids are BIG mistakes if they aren't planned. I end up paying for the mistake kids.
This made me sick on my stomach. Why would you do that to children. you are the problem because you just as dumb as this girl , Have some self respect. SMDH
Yes, it is the decision laying down without protection that was a mistake. A bad decision which had children as an outcome... it’s said.
JuJuBeans you need to calm down. Reread her ENTIRE comment. Yall are coming from the same school of thought. Furthermore your tired taxes are not touching government social services. Its too early for "a child of a 2 parent home whos parents werent trifling" to be so angry.
Do people realize or know that WE ARE NESSA!!!!! This is a “phone call” between Dineva and Us (NESSA)! Q is not NESSA!!
PYT29 lol 😂
😩🤦🏾♀️🤣
PYT29 I know it..& been knowing cause I've been watching Dineva for the last 7 years but I still like to call him Nessa Gurl sometimes & I will continue to do so whenever I feel like it so be prepared to stay irritated💁😁
It's all apart of how it is.
Nessa you called early this morning but I’m always up for some good conversation. Great review!
That episode was heartbreaking
.shes full of lust and wants someone to love her..pray for her..great review!!
I love when Ilanya said ”that’s his integrity!” about the married man.
Whoever thumbs down GO BACK TO BEDDDDDDD
I had my first daughter at 14, my second at 15. I graduated high school with honors went to college and graduated early. I made a good life for me and my girls. I met my husband at 22 got married at 28 and had two more children with my husband (at 29 and 31).The one thing that I felt guilty about was having my daughters at such a young age. I tried my best to give them the best life possible with no help from their father. I always think the only way that I got through this was MY MOTHER! She supported me through ALL of this. I would literally be nothing without her!!
And also between having my first set of children until I was 20 I had to have therapy for underlying issues about my dad divorcing my mom AND ME when I was 11.
Good morning! You have been on your grind these last few weeks! So very proud of you. #funkybunch
I am so over this “Don’t judge” mentality that a lot of people have. This is why things in our community are going on and not addressed. Y’all stay giving people a pass for ignorant behavior. Many of you have cycles in your families that you could break but you’re always hollering “don’t judge me” because you want to wallow in your mess. Get up! Take responsibility! Stop passing these issues and bad mindsets down to generations to come. INTERRUPT THE PATTERN. Make your daughters strive to be a Wife not a Baby Mom. Make your sons strive to be Husbands and not sperm donors. Teach our children the importance of education and being an important asset to our community. Make this type of behavior accountable. Maybe if we make this type of behavior taboo, women would make better decisions.
Taking accountability is so key but as you can see in this case, the individual has to heal their trauma first.
This was a good episode she need to fix the whole cast of love and hip hop la life
Gm Nessa girl. I needed this call this morning. This was a very emotional show last night. All I'm going to say is I'm praying for them & hopefully this young lady will learn to know her worth. She's got a ways to go but there's nothing to hard for God. He will heal, deliver & set them both free. They just have to do the work. Everyone have a blessed Sunday..
I love your talks so much, I have this situation in my family, 27 with 7 kids, husband don't work, she works, and I realize, there is some trauma that caused this. So many of my black sisters and young girls are suffering.
She was 11, she had no consent. I have an 11 year old, and this is disgustingly heartbreaking.
Good morning Dineva, I am so glad you did this review, I have been seeing the clips and I was very intrigued.
Nah after the second one it’s like girl get on birth control
True, why is it people act like they have NO control ova there reproduction and make excuses as to why they have loaded themselves, their families and those kids down to suffer like this
The way how she defended that married man.. I was disgusted.. in this case the reflection on how men have treated you is how she has treats herself/self respect, how could this married man propose a woman have a baby..and she agree? He don't have no interest in her he controlling, Iyanla was right tht speaks to character..
I’ve definitely been waiting for your opinion on this! I picked up the line bright and early Nessa!!
Excellent! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. I don’t get to see the show, no cable. You gave all the ends and outs of the story without the visual. Very dynamic! Thank you!
When she was telling what happened to her as a child I was like😱😱😵😬😮😲😢..
Now I know you went to Florida State and got your degree in Economics and they didn't teach about reproduction etc but IUD in the arm? 🤔
Great review, insightful as always. Much love! 😘😍
K.B.L Mokgwathi the norplant
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
K.B.L Mokgwathi Lol! You are talking about nexplanon.
K.B.L Mokgwathi I was confused by that too. Lol
😂😂😂 I got confused by that too.
More people been through this more often than not male and female. This is the type of subject that goes untouched and it shouldn't! This has infact devastated alot of people. It is a very traumatic experience.
LADY SHORTY right
Trauma from the past is tragic and counseling is vital... However past trauma is not a reason to continue to make or live in pain everyday after. People have to make the choice to mentally free themselves so they can live the rest of their lives. Past trauma is not an excuse to make bad choices for the rest of your life....
Sad situation! Six children including herself and mom suffering for a long time
How could you allow ANY MAN to touch your daughter's private parts. Under no circumstance is that okay. He would be dead ten times over. I'm so hurt for this young lady. This is sad. A damn shame.
A lot of black women go through this. Which is why we have what we have. I know plenty of black that went through the same thing.
I absolutely Love it when u just sit down and give good commentary like this. Love u!
What about the fact the mom's dad was also a married man, just like the grandbaby! Smh literally repeating the cycle....but hopefully thats the only thing repeated. They definitely need some intensive trama treatment to heal such deep wounds.
Great review Q, keep up the great work 😊
Jessica Michelle Nakeda was conceived from rape. That is some screwy shit
I love the serious commentaries
a father fiqure is very inportant not just any man a real father fiqure
Great review. Sad story. I hope one day she learns to love herself.
I wanted to add that I recently heard an excerpt from another podcast that I believe best summarizes the absence of a mother from the household and the lasting impact it can have on a child. To paraphrase, hunter-gather societies rest upon the backs of the maternal figures (mother). Children's behavior, socialization skills, and education almost revolves around that of the mother's upbringing and teachings. Greater than that of a paternal figure. It was even doctrine that the absence of a mother from the household is a form of a "child abuse" and "child neglect" based upon these findings. Basically, no maternal figure is even more detrimental to a child than the absence of a paternal figure. I think it can definitely tie into this woman's situation.
Please don't victim shame it hurt and she stayed bc she felt she had no other choice but to allow 5 people to RAPE her. She was 11 gawd.
L F Right. How small are 11yo girls compared to teenage boys and grown men? There is nothing that she could've done to stop them from raping her at all. Their perverted minds were set. She is definitely a victim in all of this. Im sure she didn't know what " becoming a woman" entailed.
@@Kre8iviT27 Yep. She definitely didn't know what becoming a woman entailed. I don't think any 11 year old would.
@@Kre8iviT27 I know, it's so sad what happened to her. The fact that she couldn't tell her mother about it tells me a lot about their relationship. Maybe she hid it in fear of being victim blamed, and possibly being punished for it. Every child should feel comfortable in opening up to their parents about anything. Also, predators know how to spot a vulnerable child. She was seeking the love and acceptance she didn't receive at home. Some of those guys were over the age of 18, what kind of a person would do this to a child? Those who were involved will get their karma. I truly feel sorry for her and hope she finds healing. It's not too late to turn her life around and break the cycle.
I love your channel. Iv been watching for years. Sending you ❤ from Memphis.
I have always wondered about girls like this.. I KNEW something was deeper than them just being fast.. Smh this is so sad but it needed to be said and this episode will change lives hopefully... Its not cute to have all these kids you cant afford in an unstable environment
I think the person who convinced her was possibly someone she trusted. She goes in thinking she was doing something not only for herself but to please this person, which made sense in her defense with baby daddy #6. You could see the anger and guilt in both of them but also the healing and understanding. However, the sexual addiction was not completely address even though she " promised" not to have anymore children. She does need therapy.
Yesssss can’t wait to hear your commentary on this!!!!! I’m here for it! Once again you were spot on! I appreciate the empathy and compassion you showed. I too hope the you pansy and the mother grow as individuals! Peace and Blessings to all!
I genuinely dont understand the mental space a woman has to be in to sit there and let 5 different men (including one thats spoken for) ejaculate in you. You have 6 children with 6 different identities. I can understand her trauma BUT at this point there are children involved. She knows she aint right. After the 3rd child she shouldve gotten herself together so she could be a mother. That includes therapy!
Dionne McCrary right like dang girl you aren't using protection at all , naaaasty !
Dionne McCrary when you havent been raised the correct way you dont understand. This situation is hard to understand. Yes at some point you have wonder...ok where is the common sense but in the beginning she didnt have the tools to know anything. Its just sad. This situation is too complex.
sad case all round.. so Nasty.. so much involved.
She understands how babies are made and that she can’t take care of nor wants the kids. She doesn’t care. We excuse way too much.
CS Bean exactly , at some point she knew exactly what she was doing !
You were very compassionate and made points I think many of us didn't even consider.
Dineva from the thumbnail I thought the lady was Tokyo Toni.
She's not ready to walk away from this relationship. She does not know her self worth... Iyanla bless you.. I enjoyed your video it was well said.
That was an interesting episode... I hope that they both get the help that they both need.. NO MORE CHILDREN would be a great start & finish.....
I really needed to hear this, I'm actually going through similar issues. Your videos are fundamental and good for the soul !
That GUESS shirt 🔥🔥🔥!!!
This was an emotional delivery from Dineva. Kudos to Dineva. You are giving understanding and strength.
Trauma causes the mind to compartmentalize and disassociate on levels one can’t even imagine. Mental health needs to be discussed a lot more in minority communities. This is so sad.
This is true
Thought provoking and on point as usual. You need your own show
That girl was 11 years old! Sounds like you blaming her.
There are a lot of broken women or girls out there and I pray for a healing.
If you haven’t figured it out after Baby one.... you not going to get it
Nessa girl, you hit the hammer on the nail with this review 👍👌✌
Dineva you’ve been killing it all week keep the reviews coming #funkybunch
It's funny how we as women of color are quick to judge this young lady. As young men these boys needed to have a level of respect for themselves to say no.
You are very good about victim blaming, Q. It's not about realness. There just seems to be something lacking in your center. You have a hard time putting yourself in other people's experience. You victim blame and then say, well I can't really speak on that because I'm not this or I'm not that. But you are not emotionally developed enough to empathize like you believe you are. It's a common thread in these videos. Especially towards Black women that you love to emulate.
I'm just gone say it, you can tell you have an good heart, it takes alot to get on a platform and speak truths, somebody gonna see this and hopefully it helps them
a*
Apple didn't fall far from that tree!
In order to effectively look at someone's life, you have to look at the top and the bottom.
If I Didn’t Know Any Better I Would Think That She’s Tokyo Toni’s Daughter!!!!!! #BlackChynaSista
You tried it. Next!
You did ya thang! This was an eye opening episode. I hope Nakita will get the healing she needs to leave the married man alone
Idk why she had all of those kids, just to dump them on her mother. She asked a male friend of hers, to take her sons. Why?! They're YOUR children! You can never get rid of them!
Courtney Tamara sometimes, we can't deal with our children ourselves. I know they are her children, but it may be better for them to be with someone else while she works on herself. Imagine if those children stayed with her and the danger they would be in.
Mary Davis Yeah... but then the solution to that, would be to stop having children. If she feels like she can't handle them, she should've taken precaution to not get pregnant. Or at least stop at Baby #1.
Mary Davis if she can lay down and give birth over and over again, I’m sure she can get on birth control, get her tubes tied something. At what point is she going to realize she has an illness and shouldn’t keep conceiving. And to add insult to injury, she was ‘mad’ at Iyana for speaking on the fact she had baby by a man she knew was a married. So, for me if she can defend him, she should know better to not keep having children she can’t afford to raise mentally, physically, emotionally and financially.
Held against her will or not, she was a child. She could not consent. 🙄 She probably went into shock and was in fear.
nothing new down here in ratchet city (shreveport) louisiana i know a female thats 27 28 with 8 kids 4 or 5 baby daddies wouldnt be shocked if she's pregnant right now...like a taxi cab service outside her house on father's day smh
Ashley Salone smdfh
Lol I thought you were talking about Strongmommy chrissy here on youtube for a min lol She just turned 28, and gave birth to her 8th awhile ago and i think she got like 5 baby daddies too
I'm fro. baton rouge and I'm willing to be that women has sexual assault and trauma. Her kids need to be taken away and given therapy. Or else they cycle will continue.
Love your commentary. This was a touching show. Who are we to judge? I learnt we never know how one has suffered. The story of the 5 boys broke me. She coped the best way she knew how. It would take YEARS of the right therapy to "fix" her. hat's I bet the mom had some sexual trauma as well.
After 2 it's a habit....not a mistake. We can learn from mistakes she made making babies a habit.
Like Paulo Coelho said, "a mistake repeated more than once [becomes] a decision." I think that even individuals who are acting on some form of trauma have a minuscule of free-will after a certain point to see that they aren't enjoying where/what they're doing anymore and to at least say, "I don't like this anymore," and to then go out and seek help. I definitely don't blame anyone for their trauma, but at some point in life if you keep walking through the mud and don't acknowledge the mistake or pain, you become just as complicit in the pain you're going through.
My experience was similar in the sense of my friend told me you don’t say nothing during sex.. so yeah it hurt but I made no noise or movement.. cause my friend said that’s what you do.. come to find out my friend had to be quiet because her bf mother was in the next room and they were in the living room... smdh I look bk like why did I listen to her 😩😩😩 but if someone told her that is how she becomes a woman that’s what she believe....
This was a really good and sad episode all at the same time. All I seen was just trauma and a generational curse that has to be broken. The daughter have to change her mindset but I think she definitely will need more counseling to do so.