When You Have PTSD From Teaching Kindergarten. Brian Moote - Full Special
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- When you have PTSD from teaching kindergarten, Brian Moote will help you get through it with loads of laughter. If you liked this full comedy special from Brian Moote chances are you'll like more of our full comedy specials, and they are all available for FREE right now on the Dry Bar Comedy App! Available on all iOS and Android devices.
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I have a friend who is *not* photogenic. She's absolutely drop dead hot in person but her photos always look like a twin who got all the leftover parts.
Me too she hot AF in person her pics look like her ugly syster
True I know few people like that as well.
@navypapercut
**your twin brother/sister cursing you out**
You: Bit*h, When they were making us, I got all good parts, and you got all the leftover parts.
Next time someone asks yet again why I never had kids I'll show them this video, maybe this will help.
Excellent video. ♥
When our son was just one day old I accidentally left him in the baby carrier in the parking lot at the supermarket. I drove away about 45 blocks before I realized I didn’t have the baby and went back for it. He was there in the exact same spot in the parking lot as if nothing ever happened. I put them in the car and went home. I was smart enough not to tell my wife for the next 16 years at which point I mistakingly thought that the statute of limitations has run out. I was wrong
Hahahaaaaaa. Should habe taken that one to tpur grave huh. Lol
At least you didn't leave the baby carrier on top of the car and then drive 45 blocks, lol.
Lol
@@Harloha Back in the 80s, for halloween, I put suction cups on the bottom of a baby carrier and stuck it to the top of my car. lol I drove about 2 blocks and it caused so much commotion I had to take it off.
So much for my "flustered mom" costume. (No real babies were involved)
@Tina Sparks LOL I am also a mother of twins, but I purposely pulled over at the edge of the neighborhood, when I knew the obnoxious twin could walk home and left him there. He walked in the door 45 minutes later, dragging butt, and I asked him if he was ready to sit down and listen......he complied for the rest of the day. LOL He was about 8 at the time. Next time I was hauling the kids and their friends around, and I mentioned "Don't make me pull this van over", Mr Obnoxious piped right up to his friends..."My Mom is serious, she will totally make us walk!!" Score one for Mom LOL
I only needed a half-day to get PTSD in kindergarten. "Domesticating wild animals" sums it up beautifully.
I worked as a paraprofessional in preschool for six years, public schooling. It was both brutal and rewarding, but mostly draining.
In college, one of my professors had us spend a couple days with her 6 year old daughter’s kindergarten class and it took me all of fifteen minutes to realize that children are absolutely insane. They’re little pint-sized crackheads and I do not want one lmao 😂
Worked at an overnight summer camp one year. Never again. The kids are so excited to sleep in the woods until it gets dark out... and then they realize there are big spiders and it's so dark you can't see your hand in front of your face without the moon.
I subbed for kindergarten once. I was happy I wore my old jeans. I don't remember how much snot was wiped on them...
Yes kids are beautiful monsters
What a natural! I loved the energy and stage presence. Very relaxed but also into too! Thanks Dry Bar and Brian Moote for the laughs!
Ten minutes in and i think I have broken a rib from laughing
Me too ‼️😭
i was lucky enough to get an amazing camera man for picture day in middle school, who didnt force me to smile, instead showed me how to smile with your eyes, showing me his employee photo where he wasnt smiling, yet still looked happy, and let me retake the photo after i wasnt happy with the first one.
LUCKY.
Smizing!! 👁 👄 👁
The dude who my school always hired (like elementary-highschool) was a CREEP. If a girls bra strap was showing at all he would fix it himself instead of letting her know, he was very touchy when setting kids up for the pictures, and always gave us weird looks afterwards. Very unsettling dude.
I used to teach preschool and you would know when a kid pooped their diaper because they would make the strangest face while doing it and direct eye contact too.
As a mom and a former paraprofessional who also worked in preschool, I can definitely back up your claim!
I was 19 and my cousin was 4 or 5, thought I'd be the cool cousin and agree to bunk together in a double-bed at grandmas. Nope. That was a mistake. I woke up SEVERAL times during the night by her SHOVING HER TOES, *INDIVIDUALLY* INTO MY EAR. I know she was sleeping, but I still caught myself suspecting her of being evil and doing it on purpose over and over. xD
Wtf 😨😭
you surmised correctly. The evil stays in until at least age 9! Then it mutates into a wseird evil, then at 11 into a smart evil. . .
I am literally LISTENING to THIS while I'm in the bathroom with my headphones on hiding from my 2 kids 😂😂😂😂
Exactly WHEN that part comes on!
LOL
Sometimes I run the shower while I'm really sitting on the floor.
Lol
Me too, I've got a cup of coffee and some fully charged bluetooth headphones. Its cleaning day, I needed this.
I really need to work on talking like a person.
Thanks for reminding me NOT to have kids!
Don't waist the waterrrr
Been there. Done that. You ever turn the lights off while you do it just for the peace?
I cant even look at my high school head shots without regretting my entire life.
Don't think he'll see this but I've been a fan of stand up for a while and I can tell this guy has real potential and should keep up his great work :)
Most definitely..
He is one of a kind ..,.excellent
One of the best I watched !
He rode that wave of energy all the way to the end!
I'm gonna start an internship in kindergarten on Monday and this popped up in my recommendations. Well played, RUclips. Though I already have experience in the field so none of this is actually shocking to me.
That's a nice take on it. Some people might be more concerned their devices are listening. Good luck for Monday!
@@NikPub
Technically they could be very similar to somebody who did search relevant things on a likely schedule.
I think a majority of us have some sort of kindergarten experience
@@kiroropupper3914 Yes but not as a worker. It's completely different to be an adult experiencing this stuff and being one of the children there.
@@MinimiMax take a joke mate
"Oh yeah, fly with no bags. That's so YOLO of you. I like that." LOL And that was funny.
I have been woken up by a kid staring at me before
You poor bastard
Been there. It's terrifying.
In the wee hours of dawn, I awoke at a friend's house after a sleepover, with their little sister just sitting beside me, staring unblinkingly. When I asked what she was doing, she just smiled really sweetly and whispered "I was watching you sleep". I was terrified.
Yup. My toddler almost got a black eye that early morning. Not today, CPS!
@@absolutelyridiculous6743 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂
One of my top favorite comedians of all time. Can SOMEBODY please just sign this guy, already???👌❤
Dude...I love your whole set...you made me laugh my guts out on a very difficult day. Thank you ♡♡♡
Teaching sucks I know you are right 😄😄😄😄😄
Hope your day got better (4 months later )
"What are you doing?", "GIVING MYSELF A VASECTOMY WITH A MACH3 RAZOR G-DDAMNIT!!!!"
"preventative health care" Love it! 😂
I DIED .. 😂😆🤣😎😅😄🤣😂
@@constancejenkins3867 As did the OP
I Substitute taught for a second grade class once. As I was writing on the white board one of the girls pipes up with," Who has better writing; me or Mr. Rae?" So I told her," You do."and let her write on the board for the rest of the day.
I was constipated and sitting on the toilet the old lady joke made me laugh so hard I pooped. Thank you.
You know you are funny, when you make someone poop or wee when they laugh at you.
Felix Hushpoop formerly known as Felix Hushpup
That’s awesome 😎
Too much info!!!!
Eh
As a morning person, my life has been threatened by multiple people on multiple occasions 😂😂😂😂
Lmao I'd be one of those people
I have taught high school for 30+ years and sadly had a couple of booger eaters over the years.
Public booger eaters love stoplights
@@epdlp4506 what does this comment have to do with the one before
Michael Brennan--Better they should eat those boogers than flick them at you.
Mr. Brennan? I was itching my nose!
And that was just the administrators.
I watched Arnie's kindergarten cop and thought it was overkill on his reactions but then I was a homeroom mom.
It’s very much a “how to”, minus the guns and drug dealers. But, if you’re teaching kindergarten, you end up hoping for one or the other...sometimes, both.
This guy is probably my favorite Dry Bar comedian so far, hope he does more specials
Have watched, rewatched this with wife, daughter, & on own -just 1 of the greatest comedians out there!
And, as a teacher, dude, you DEFINITELY go out on a standing-O! :>
When english is your second language,and you mix up ptsd and std makes the title waaay more interesting
andrás wilkins lmao that’s hella funny 😂
And frightening.
andrás wilkins Honey, your command of English is enough to make me laugh so hard I peed with this comment.
😂😂😂😂
exactly why i clicked it:D:D
My man has a voice similar to young Tosh.O with the energy of you g Dane Cook but clean... quite an interesting character! I dig I dig!
Agreed!
I was listening through headphones and thought he was Chris Delia. Same energy too
I definitely get the “Dane Cook” reference, because they sound very much alike. Also, his energy does call up Tosh and Cook. Very good take.
Calling someone "Butt Nugget" is completely unnecihqarif.
It's a perfectly cromulent word.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I prefer "butt munch" myself😆🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Also cofkefe?
Very funny! Brian's natural delivery and mastery of simile blow me away. It's amazing to me that I havn't heard of him before.
The bit about his wife abducting their own kids reminds me of the time an undercover cop at a local event tried to stage an abduction to see how parents would react... he decided the two nerdy kids playing by ourselves was a good choice... those kids were me and my brother and we took him down in less than a minute at 5 and 6 respectively. Our mom tought us well and the cop was so impressed he bought us both icecream... then he told his partner who was still at the car that he needed an icepack for his balls
Nice. Wish Id been there for that!
You had a VERY specific set of skills.
@@gorg6151 yeah, so specific I can't put it on a resume lol
Are you black?
@@kristinesmart6708 why does that matter?
This is one of my top 5 dry bar shows.
I didn’t realize Ted Cruz was so funny
JJ Y doesn’t look like him
@@krispybananaz I second that
thats so racist its somewhat funny
If Ted Cruz and Adam Devine had a baby....
When I taught 5th grade and I found I couldn't spell something, I had different kids look it up in the dictionary trying to act like I was helping them to learn to use the dictionary. Ironic because nobody uses actual dictionaries anymore.
I do that! To be honest I teach ESL classes...and I can't know every word in a new language! I don't know all the words in my own language!😅😅😅
When you work in an elementary school you have pee pants and headlice.
And kids puking. That's why I chose 5 - 6th grades. Although some 6th graders decide they are in Jr. High.
I had this playing and went into my garage for a moment and i came back in the house at 17:10 and was like 👀
Lmao
I like his comedy but I can't get over the fact that his face and kinda his body is like the weirdest combo of Ted Cruz, Channing Tatum & Adam DeVine.
Not to mention he sounds like Dane cook
He reminds me of a young John Ritter
Def Adam Devine!
YES EVEN ME I SAW IT!!!
Dude, he is! I cant..... unsee it now.
Little bastard at the booger buffet alone is worth the thumb up. He never broke eye contact!!
Imagine the Morning person jogger@13:00... But in the middle of a dark winter morning... Wtf, who are these people.
I like this guy; he's funny. Glad I stumbled on this video.
I remember getting a free, little, black comb on picture day and waiting to see what silly name the photograph called us. Lol. Aahhh....the simplicity of youth.
Oh my Lord! I forgot about that! The free comb. I would keep them from previous years. I wish I saved everything from childhood! The toys/books/ jewelry, clothes don't compare. Everything was well-made, awesome looking, collectible.
“Your game is weak“ 😂😂😂😂
The video makes me realize my daughter is the best. The comments makes me realize I’m not the worst.
Then THIS was a fantastic RUclips find for you, wasn’t it?
Lol, I’m not photogenic, but not because I don’t think that looks like me. I just know that I look better in motion than I do still, so I prefer videos to photos 😅
Photos always catch me blinking or doubled over laughing.
I taught K-5 for two years and first grade for seven years. I was so goddamn burned out I drive a school bus now, and I only drive middle and high school no grade school.
I taught in UK secondary for twelve years, and it's taken seven years to de-stress! Never again.
Oh that's right, what was I thinking to begin with, only women can competently teach young children. It is the feminizing of America that is ripping the heart out of our country. Women, as a group, are more sympathetic to socialist ideas which leads eventually to the tyranny of, for and by the government. Yeah, women teach little kids, women are government supported to stay single moms, women can run the country better than men. Right. I am going to identify as a women starting now.
So you’re saying you gave up certificated salary and benefits to become a classified employee making a fraction of what a teacher makes? Hmmmm...
I taught elementary school for 20+ years, but driving a school bus would be punishment for me. You are stronger than me.
I am married to a man who taught high school Social Studies for 30 years. He also coached 3 sports each school year. In a small school district (22 students graduated that year) he was given a class of 2nd grade Physical Education one year. (7 & 8 year olds)
Another year he had 7th grade (12 & 13 y/o) Geography right before 12th grade History (17 & 18 y/o).
He thought he would lose his sanity... said it would have been less stressful if the 7th graders came after the 12th graders (lunch was next period).
My brother, another sibling or parent with a license and I driving somewhere:
All: *notices people on the sidewalk or being dumb and in the street*
My bro: Hey, 10 points! *Points at them*
I play this game too! Well, "play". "game". It's just pointing at people and yelling arbitrary numbers haha sometimes we'll choose a rather high number if there's a group or little kid involved...
I have 50 points so far.. The 30 pointer ran.
XD my bf and I do this every drive with j-walkers
My sisters and I would assign different values depending on age or pregnancy
Something tells me the “butt-nugget”kid had older brothers. “Free range two year old” LOL! And shut screen door incident, these days. Not a bar to presidency.
@Joel Springman --- NOPE, now it's T=R=U=M=P!!!! Me think a failed miss-carage (of justice/intelligence).
Preeety sure Trump has walked into a screen door or two in his time.
LOL I still have my flip phone. It never drops a call like my husbands SMART phone LOLOL
A serial killer happen in from you.....🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.. we do not share
Made the mistake of brushing my teeth whilst watching the first twenty five seconds of this video
My wife lost our kid at the supermarket. It doesn't help my chances in arguments.
11:25 there are some people I know that are just stunning in person, but look very homely in pictures. It's a real thing.
Need more of this guy😂😂
Haven't laughed this hard in a long time, subscribed 🤣
My middle school experience was weird because we shared the building with elementary kids so the front of the bus was filled with small children with light in their eyes then at the end there were sweaty teenagers blasting mumble rap
Brian is one of my favorite comedians! I've seen his clips so many times and every time they make me laugh. The jaunty ponytailed morning jogger is my favorite!
Even as a 5th grade teacher I promise the PTSD is real😂
Oh how's your therapy going? Do the SSRI blockers help. How long did it take to get a diagnosis. Does seeing children make you have a panic attack? Or is a very common, debilitating disease, funny to you? Cos from over here it feels like your mocking us.
@@aviendha1154 my sincerest apologies in my choice of words. My comment was intended to be light-hearted based off the video, however I can understand now that using the term PTSD has much more serious connotations. My kids are everything to me, despite having days where I just want to quit, and I know that few things could happen in the classroom that could cause me to suffer from true PTSD. Again, please accept my apology for my ignorance in the matter. Hope you have a blessed day.
Lol if you close your eyes, he sounds exactly like Chris Pratt.
My friend's daughter woke me up by standing at the side of my bed holding a chef's knife. She was 7.
Yikes!
Ted Bundy woke his aunt up by placing the kitchen knives all around her as she slept as well at 3.
@@Janellabelle That's not reassuring at all. Lol
@@Janellabelle I think I did read that about Ted Bundy! Is it for sure, true?!
Speaking of picture day, junior year I had my picture taken at school, the lady looked at the screen smiled and said "good you can go now". I later figured out my eyes were closed in the picture and that was the picture in the year book
People make fun of the idea but, let me tell you, I legit have PTSD from 10 years in public school. I love teenagers and it was mostly the admin that caused me damage but, no, it's comedy because no one believes it but it's totally A Thing. My therapist can confirm.
I don't doubt it. My class was praised as the most well-behaved in school but we still caused a few teacher meltdowns.
I believe it. I have PTSD dealing with the administration of our public school and I'm just a parent 😬
A friend of mine who taught art in a New Jersey middle school had pretty close to as bad an experience. It's a shame. Really good artist, and excellent guy.
O mine too I know you are right 😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂
Considering how many kids I heard in high school gleefully talking about the many teachers their class caused to have a meltdown or cry in front of them.....I'm assuming most teachers and former teachers have PTSD.
Once a month I meet up with my MOTHER, we spend a day together in the city, go to a restaurant. We laugh when we see parents with unruly kids. She's thankful she's passed that, I'm thankful I don't have to deal with that stress mess.
"I stole my own purse."
What kinda weird powerplay is that?!?!
Enjoyed this guy!!!!
Try teaching Middle School....that's real Hell
The ultimate cross between kindergarten and hs seniors
That prescription of "don't kill it" must cost some serious coin, man.
Being IN it was hell too.
I'm 10 min in and love it! He is so funny.
i've never laughed so much at a stand up comedian lolol this was amazing XD
This guy is super funny!
You are so so hilarious!!
My wife taught 2nd and 3rd grade at a public school in a slum area for 26 yrs. she woke me up almost ever night yelling in her sleep. Be quiet, sit down, behave or I’ll send you to the office.
I love this one 🤣🤣🤣 But I gotta say, if somebody is standing close enough to get elbowed in the head when I open a freezer door, I'm gonna want to know what they're doing standing that close to me -- and my purse!! -- in the first place 🤔
I was just starting to feel lonely being single recently, but now I think I'm good!
I would always sneak into my parents room as quietly as possible, stand on my mother's side of the bed and patiently stare at her. I'd purposely stand as tall as I can and loom over her. She'd wake up and scream, shout or jolt before glaring at me and scolding me. The first time, I had done it by accident 'cause I was debating whether I wanted to wake her up or not. Times after that, I'd do it for fun.
I had a rat tail. It was awesome
Oh my gosh.. This guy is SOOO funny. Thank you!
I’m genuinely upset this ended 😭
Same!! This guy is one of the funniest I've watched on this channel!
This was great!
I was a kinda kid who would just stare at my parents until they wake up my man when ur 23 years old and learn that for the first time u feel like u have so much power u can become the next zodiac killer
Both my parents are teachers, and I can say that this man speaks the truth.
I'm so sorry to hear about your parents mental illnesses. So brave of you to speak up about such a serious issue.
Aviendha
Thank you so much for your kind understanding.
@@skylar4602 ugh. Unlike your teachers I actually have PTSD. I was being facetious. I'm surprised your parents didn't teach you about that.
Aviendha
I was being facetious too. Sorry if I didn’t come across as knowing that
My kindergarten teacher told my mother that I was either going to be the first female president of the United States or an axe murderer....
Why does this guy look like roy from the office
I would love to see this guy live.
Him saying he try to blow at the phone like an old Nintendo game, I've actually did that not to long ago 😂🤣😂🤣
15:00 - I woke my mom up from a weekend sleep in in the morning by hovering over her and staring at her to tell her i was hungry. I was 24. In my defense there was really nothing else at home I could fix myself to eat.
He's great. Never thought I'd laugh so hard at dry bar
Roger Federer doing stand up with Daniel Tosh delivery!
'your game is WEAK!!!!"
Lmao, I just did that bathroom thing like 3 times at Thanksgiving
Hey, in my house, only Verizon or Spectrum work everywhere. With T-Mobile, AT&T, and Sprint, phones only work outside the east door or the south door. Inside, you have to stand on your right leg 2 feet south and 9 inches west of the northeast corner of the office with the phone in your left hand while facing south-southwest and you will get 4 bars. If you change any of these, no bars!
He's fabulous! Right on que the whole way!
I'd love to hang with this guy and swap more K-horror stories for my choice 1st grade tales..
Joke was on me -- I thought leaving a 6th grade middle school gig for 1st grade would be a problem solving strategy.
He should have said that there's an unnecessary c in unnecessary.
EweChewBrrr except if he had it would indicate he knows how to spell it which he apparently does not xD
That's irrelevant 😄
Good clean Comedy. This guy is hilarious! LOL
Drinking game: take a shot every time he says right now
8.8K is low in my book- he should have a cool mil by now.
What the what for the 333 though, seriously? Thumbs down?!
They probably watch people sleeping.
Thank you. That was good, keep going.
If I was watching the purse I would’ve put something expensive in it then at the door exiting yell shoplifter!!
OMGAWD, *LOL* and at 28:00 that last comment/thought went epic ironic!
It's funny because it's *TRUE*!
And he even has his shirt on and wizarded out the background. *Nice*.
The purse thing happens to me with my mom 😂😂😂
32:52
I’m very clumsy
I have tripped over the leg of a table and broken my toe
Oh no! That's hilarious and upsetting at the same time! Poor toe lol
I have an aunt that has done that ONCE...on each foot! Both times? Pinky toe.
GW walked in to doors and pushed on pull doors etc haha