The Toothpaste Theory
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
- Do you ever feel like life is changing too fast?
That's the question that kicked this documentary off - followed by "how can we get better at dealing with all this change?" The research this led me to is the video you see here.
Enjoy ❤
Co-director, editor and collaborator: Cameron Davies www.cdavmedia.com
This was my favourite piece of neuroplasticity research - so check that out if you're keen: hubermanlab.co...
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Thanks for watching :)
Tysm for watching!
Cool lil announcement:
I just launched Membership on this channel where I'm doing q&a videos, so if you wanna go deeper on a topic/have a specific question on something, join us there :)
First Members video will be live by mid August - join the secret q&a club if you're curious :)
Otherwise, hope ya liked this video (and thanks for everyone saying lovely words about my mum and daughter 💕 seriously)
Hey, your mum's accent sounds a little _not entirely kiwi_ . Is she perhaps South African or from North America?
I'm trying to decipher her accent.
So.. like uncle iroh said
my father is nearing the end of his life and hearing what your mother does for a living made me burst into tears. How can I find someone like here where I live? Can you give me more information on how someone one would get those kinds of services??
@@tonyhinderman if I were u, I'd try googling "life biographers" or simply "biographers" in your area. You'll likely have someone relatively close to u if you live in a big city or close to one. If u can't find one then I'd probably get some family members together on a project to pass on their life story. Maybe look up some questionnaires that have the proper questions to ask and make a "rough copy" of the biography. Then make a final copy after it's edited and ready to copy. The final copy can then be printed and binded in a small book fairly cheaply. Or they can be home made even cheaper with regular printing paper. U can get the paper laminated to protect it from the elements and extend the bio significantly. Hoped I could be some help...
Man, there's someone faking being you to scam ppl, please, tell everybody
Another aspect of toothpaste that I think holds up in its analogy to life is how you only pay attention to the amount you have left once it begins to run out. When you have a full tube, you use it freely and carelessly, paying no mind to how you use that initial amount since you figure you have enough to last for months. It's only when you're scraping it against the corner of the countertop to get that last bit out that you really appreciate the amount you have left - and you use it with much more intention.
Love your perspective and I feel that too
So toothpaste = heroin?
Before I started watching, this is what I thought this video might be about. There must be a name for this effect.
@showlow Yeah, I think the name for that effect is basically life lol.. There's so few things we buy ONCE; Bed frames, couches etc. and everything else is the house/wherever you live will consist of items that need to be replaced and restocked. Which are noticeable when low and change how used..
At least the more important things; food, cleaning products, paper towels, toilet paper etc. etc. down to splurge items.
Unless you're a minimalist (and even they have to spend something on something) basically a living effect. We use something without much thought until it needs to be replaced/restocked.
It’s a stretch, but I agree.
not me clicking this knowing full well it's going to trigger an existential crisis that i'll have to sob myself to sleep over -- but listen anything to promote my man struthless
I also clicked but being in a really down phase right now, thanks to your comment (i always skim over one or two comments before the video lol) I actually had a second to think and I’m going to close the video for my own sake. ❤️ thank you very much. For our man struthless I’ll just play it on mute on my laptop while I work hehehe 🤫😁🥰
IIIIII played it anyway and felt : alright just learning cool things about life and all. and then the ending got me like •́ ‿ ,•̀
@@kelyrin-douceuretdessin9476 do what feels right, but this vid isn’t very existential. It’s more about resilience and reframing bad days. I hope you feel better soon xxxx
I was prepared for this to happen to me, but it ended up making me smile. Don't be afraid of your mood changing, it might just change for the better :)
An epiphany could come too 🧡💛💚💜..feel better and calmer soon
“Suffering comes from wishing it didn’t” - this is profound. Thanks for the video dude, and cheers to being a dad. You’ve come so far, keep going my dude, you’re brilliant.
A world without suffering lacks the spectrum of feeling. No suffering means no happiness, no pleasure.
@@damo9961 someone said , nowhere in the "manual" does it say we are supposed to be happy All the time " I think that was. A good one
someone said , nowhere in the "manual" does it say we are supposed to be happy All the time " I think that was. A good one
@@damo9961 This is why Buddha chose the middle way
masochists : 😎
I loved hearing your Mum talk. I recently lost both my parents and Nan with in the last 3 years and it's made me really rethink my entire life. The best advise both my parents gave me came from their death beds. They both said " don't wait till you are retired to live your life, you only have now and by the time you retire, if you even make it to retirement, you'll be too old and fragile to do anything" My Dad was 59 and my Mum was 60 and neither of them got the opportunity to retire. They were both still at that point of "working and saving up". Last week I turned 29 and just sat on my bed crying cause I had this realisation that I'm almost 30 and if I die at 60 that means I'm already half way done with this life. It's hard to move forward when you are dwelling over the past which is why I'm so glad this video came up in my recommendations.
I think the tooth paste theory is brilliant cause it not only is true but toothpaste is something you look at daily making it an everyday reminder. I truly needed the messages in this video today and I'm so thankful you chose to share it!
Also, congratulations on becoming a Dad, parenthood is scary but also so rewarding.
I would love to hear your Mum talk more - death is such a hard thing to face and its shocking the amount of family and "friends" who just avoid you once you've been told you only have a few months to live. Your Mum seems very wise, she should have her own RUclips channel lol!
This is such a great comment, I can’t believe I was the first to like it. Honestly, I think what you say is very valuable, and even though I’m only 17 it’s nice to be reminded not to stress too much and to do what you love. I’m sorry for your loss and I hope you can build a life for yourself that you can look back on fondly. I’m working on doing the same thing too. Have a nice day!
My mother always used to tell me "The golden years are not so golden. Live while you can enjoy it." And I have lived by her words. Sounds like you got the same advice.
Cool story sis.
This was an amazing comment. Thank you so much for sharing and I'm very sorry for your losses 💔
I can't imagine losing both lost my mom at 15 never met my dad it sucks
The only important point I feel is missing from this video is grief. Change happens, and with a growth mindset, change can be seen as something good and used to create new opportunities. But it's also not only okay, but very natural, to mourn the loss of something that's gone, whether it's a relationship, a job, or an identity. Accepting and moving forward is sometimes not fully possible without taking a little time to miss what's gone or even just to acknowledge that, yeah, not having, being, or doing that anymore really hurts. Allow yourself to grieve so that you *can* move on.
Absolutely, I agree! It's important to fully embrace the negative emotion to allow yourself to move on, emotional avoidance is detrimental to moving on in your adult life.
Totally agree 👍
333
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am also going through a lot of changes in life as well, and have felt burdened by the sadness and grief which has accompanied it. I have quoted your comment in my journal.
@@nayafauzia476 That's kind of you to let me know. I hope your passage through these changes begins to ease and things sail smoother for you in your future ❤🩹
There's a line from an Oscar Wilde poem that I try to remember:
"'For he who lives more lives than one, more deaths than one must die."
(from The Ballad of Reading Gaol). Whenever you're grieving that you have to lose or leave something, remembering that it's the price for having an interesting and varied life.
smart!
That’s not pretentious
@@joshcantrell8397 never said it was
That sounds fucked, it’s okay to feel things and feel sad and not okay with losing something you love
I feel lucky to have gotten to know so many people in my life, but more people you know, the more funerals you go to. Every loss leaves a mark, but also, memories that I would never want to lose.
This is precisely how I've managed my students in my art classes since day one.
And I can say confidently, that regardless of the entrance skill coming in, every single person ended up improving beyond a measurable doubt in a way that exceeded even my goals as a teacher.
Positive reinforcement is crucial.
People have come to me saying "I can't draw a straight line" and end up being able to perfectly reproduce what they see in front of them with paint.
Gotta have that P.M.A.
And it's not always solely dependent on the individual to foster it. Sometimes even the slightest jumpstart could mean the difference between a master artist and someone that gave up immediately because "they weren't good enough".
Patience, understanding, empathy. If you don't have these qualities, do not teach. You'll do more harm than good.
Positive mental attitude
If only I had you as a teacher for art maybe I’d have enjoyed it more.
@@asparagusmelontoast We got that PMA. In the words of Bad Brains, no doubt.
@@maverick4244 I promise you that not every teacher/instructor is in it for a paycheck despite hating kids/teaching. I've met a lot of peers like that, but I've also met a lot of really competent teachers that acted as amazing mentors for people that needed it. Even without charge in some cases.
Tell that to parents who have kids even though they know they're bad people they just don't care.
the thing about every little moment being a tiny death is seriously one of the things i’ve been struggled with so much, like i literally lay awake worrying about it
That's senseless because it will never change
@@kurtissmith98 wow, thanks so much, your comment has made me magically able to sleep without anxiety because it's careless to do so!
@@kurtissmith98 I'm struggling with this as well, but you've cured me. Tell the depression patients to cheer up next tbh
@@CheekieCharlie bruh you have to face reality the only way to counteract is to make the most of every one of those tiny deaths. Get a life and give yourself other things to think about. Challenge yourself to find two hobbies.
@@kurtissmith98 I have many hobbies, I have two gorgeous kids and and an amazing husband, im stuck in a situation I can't change quickly, and I'm not miserable. I feel like I'm trying to make the most of life
I am sixty five and an accomplished painter. People look at my paintings and use words like "amazing". They tell me that I'm very "talented" and how they could never paint like that. What they don't realize is that there is no such thing as talent. I used to produce truly horrible paintings (I've kept a few just as a reminder that things can get better). I didn't do anything special. I just kept painting.
Though I can't really call myself an accomplished artist or musician, I often get the same types of praise as well - genuine or sometimes backhanded. I'm glad to see that someone else shares this sentiment that talent doesn't exist.
At what point in your life did you stop comparing yourself to other artists or thinking that i am not good enough.
Because my imposter syndrome might be a good reason to improve and change, but it sure gets easy to burn out aswell.
@@cyano3d that's a good question! The answer is that I didn't. I still think I'm not good compared to others, regardless of what others tell me. I love the process of painting, get totally lost in it, but when I finish a painting, I hate it, am convinced it's awful and never want to see it again. Maybe a few months later I'll admit that it's actually pretty good. The trick to improving your skill is to not try to improve. Surrender to the process. Don't overthink or over plan. Trust your creative brain. The other trick is to go for quantity, not quality. I know this sounds wrong but it's not. The more you paint, the better you get. If you're tormenting yourself by comparing with other artists, stop looking at their work. There is also the danger of influence. Follow your own unique vision. I like to think of the Beatles when they were first practicing, comparing themselves to American bands, trying to find the right "sound" when they already had it.
There is such a thing as learned vs natural talent. Most people won't have the opportunity time or resources.
Not all change is positive, and it's not usually possible to stop things from changing for the worse when your already swirling around the bottom and have no interest, ability, or desire to sink the time into anything that can get them out
I also paint and have heard these same sentiments my entire life. I've always told everyone you just need reps, just like anything.
I had to cry at the part with your mother. She had some really simple but effective words.
Say thanks to her
I teared up, too.
the only reason i don’t binge all your videos at once is because i always always get recommended a video by you exactly when i need it and the exact topic even if (like now) it was uploaded a month ago. gives me a lot of hope that i’m not alone in the way i feel. seeing how emotionally mature you are gives me hope for the future
I was just getting ready for work, whispers in my mind thrown at the back of my head. And then I heard your mom's wisdom. I just fell on the floor and cried a good while. I still have to go to work right now but I will come back here tonight to reflect and absorb the contents of this video. I might have just had an epiphany. Thank you.
The evolution of Wikipedia is one of my favorite things. It definitely used to be a total mess and a total joke (think mid-2000’s time). But as people continued to believe in the idea of it and continued editing it and continued figuring out how to vet those edits it started becoming reliable. Definitely not something to add to your bibliography, but definitely use it as a starting point. Even professors told me to use it and even sometimes used it themselves. That total societal shift around that one website is just whack and I love it.
It’s still so strange to me how in the back of my mind I’m like uhhh should I use this?? Teachers would berate us saying it’s not a source and then in college they had groups to help clean it up and actively work to make it better.
Wikipedia is a great source except for anything involving modern politics. For science and history and such it's fantastic. For current events, I've seen so many articles that are literally just the opinions of the editors with cherry picked sources listed as confirmation. It's too bad really, but not surprising I guess.
@Amys Mental I just finished my master's thesis in Neuroscience with an A. I used Wikipedia exactly for that - getting an overview of the topic, getting ideas of where to start and which topics to include in my theory section, then researching for more sources that either validates or contradicts the ideas.
Wikipedia is a terrible resource. Literal agencies of copywriters and pr people exist specifically to manipulate entries and share popular opinions on almost every subject imaginable.
Wikipedia was already great in the mid-2000's. It was just popular at the time to claim that it was bad. The perception of Wikipedia is
was what really changed.
It’s interesting because I’ve always looked at myself when I’m going through a tough time and I refer back to a motto I have for when I’m running. “If you ever stop moving, your brain won’t let you get back on. So simply don’t stop moving.” For me personally this has always felt rather easy. Resilience really relates to how long it’ll take before you start to get depressed because of your circumstances. But if your body physically doesn’t stop moving, you’ll find that the effort put into that is far less than expected
Reading Mindset sort of changed my life. I, like Carol, was told as a kid that I was clever. Smart. This led to massive anxiety around "doing well". I was massively depressed in high school and bombed out on my final exams but still managed to get into uni. As I was going through uni, I always left my assignments to the last minute and still managed to scrape through. My wife, a teacher at the time, mentioned Growth Mindset to me, I read it on my way to work, and that's when I realised how much of an impact those words had on me as a kid. It still took some time, and fuck ups, to realise the true impact that praising effort can have. It has helped me immensely as a teacher and now a father. It won't come as a shock to also hear that I am trying to get tested for possible ADHD. Isn't it crazy how much of a mental shift having a family can have on you?
Thanks as always for the amazing work, Cam 🤙
Good luck with the ADHD testing! Trust your instincts and don’t let your healthcare provider dismiss your concerns…
I’ve been struggling with some mid-life, 40 year old, self loathing, regret, and irrational fears about making change. I came across your channel about a month ago and your videos have really helped me. When I saw the title of this video I was excited because the toothpaste phrase is one I use often. Then you hit us with John Lennon and I remembered back to a time in my life, my early 20s when I lived a happier more carefree life and I used that quote all the time. Personally I’ve been putting off making a significant change for a while. Let’s see what happens in the morning. Thanks
good luck, i'm rooting for you!
Same
Self forgiveness is key to healing.
Truly.
Switch it up baby!! It’s better to make the change and regret it than to stay the same and regret the fact that you never made the change. I’d rather feel resentful about the things I’ve done rather than the things I didn’t do. For all we know this could be the only life we live, better make it an interesting one at least.
Also, I want you to know I understand the fear of making change, that’s one of the scariest things in life. But the scarier it is, the more rewarding it is. Like skydiving, that shit is utterly terrifying but once you’re freefalling for a couple seconds you feel like you’re on top of the world (mentally and physically)
"Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final." -Rilke
One of my favorite passages of all time. I get chills every time I read it. (It's from "The Book of Hours" which I highly recommend 😊)
Thats like what skepta says "Youre putting a stop point on this moment like there isnt a moment after it" Keep moving forward and dont look back on change or if you do dont see it negatively and learn from it
The feeling of having lost my child/teenhood to morbid obesity will last forever. If you have no permanent grief consider yourself one of the lucky few
I first saw that at the end of Jojo Rabbit and I have to stop thinking about it or I'm going to cry. That's such a beautiful passage.
No feeling is final... well, except for the last one of course. Eventually you will do everything for the last time at some point. I wonder when will be the last time I eat shrimp?
hes rephrasing the lay back and think of england
i dont read fiction books, all the stories are exactly the same.
a character/bunch of charcters overcome great adversity to triumph in the end. boring
Had to pause the video at the mention of neuroplasticity, this is absolutely true. Through meditation I’ve not only learned to “cure” my anxiety and depression, but also completely cure my anger issues, balance my emotions, and beat addiction (they say you can’t beat it but I really beat it) all because I had the realization that I could “rewire” my brain for lack of better words. It’s a process but it is doable. Did all that with 0 medication because I refuse to put psychoactive bandaids on my issues
What a privilege to hear the cumulative life stories of so many people, you probably get such a fantastic perspective that not many people can get. Like living a hundred different lives.
This video could not have been available at a better time. Just finished a therapy session. Before that, got awful news this morning, my grandpa's cancer spread and he likely won't make it until Christmas. My therapist went through the process of helping me deal with grief, and that getting used to living without the people we love will take time. This video is reassuring me that even though it sucks, I'm gonna be okay.
Sending love, light, and encouragement to you and your family! ✨✨
You will be ok. Part of the privilege of having a lovable precious grandparent is the grief you will feel when they depart this world. The other side of the love coin is grief when you lose them.
I'm going through the same thing right now, but with my step-dad (I'm 29, he's in his 50's). I don't have a therapist yet, but I think I need one because I'm spiraling. Do you think therapy is helping you?
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss
I’m sorry to hear about that sending love and light to you
I moved around a lot like you did, 7 schools and 7 different houses in 18 years. But it's funny, my mom frequently apologized to my siblings and I as adults for "uprooting our lives," yet none of us saw it as that. In all honesty, the "death" of changing schools and having to start over gives you the gift of distinct memories. I can pin specific events in my life to the year because I remember what school I was at during the time. Even when the changes were negative, they were significant, and I still think having an eventful life beats an uneventful one where all the memories are blurred together. And it makes you appreciate the good memories that much more. Great video!
i can relate to this and have such detailed memory of my life because of how much i've changed and been forced to change. life can be beautiful even when it is so frikkin hard
Indeed- as soon as I stopped moving things blended together. It's been closer to 12 years, but it feels more like 4 years.
Lost my mom by the hands of my Step father in 2011, this was my freshman year in high school. I often say I wish I could go back to being the person I was before this moment, but it’s impossible. I hope people that watch this video really understand the true weight of what he’s saying here, and don’t take the small time we have here doing things we love, or being with the people we love, for granted.
I'm so thrilled I just found your channel. All this time I've been kind of wary of "mindset RUclips" because I feel like a lot of its creators, though I'm sure nice people, don't leave me with the impression that they HAVE achieved the emotional health and maturity that I would seek when I follow someone's train of thought or advice to better myself. But with you, I truly believe that in spite of real struggles just like all of us, you do have a really health grasp on your own life and place in the world and it makes your advice feel very authentic and inspiring. Thank you.
Ayy bro that’s crazy and congratulations on becoming a dad, I’m 17 and I became a father 2 months ago and have been trying everything in my power to change my life for the better and I’ve loved watching your videos and learning about some stuff I can use to better myself and my family and I’m so thankful that I’m doing better now for my daughter because being her dad has been the most amazing thing I’ve ever and have created the best change in my life and I’m so grateful for these videos, keep this shit up man it’s so helpful
we are the same age and i cannot imagine how hard this period can be for you. I'm glad you are seeing change as something positive and i believe you will do a great job as a dad.
just don't lose yourself okay? you are still your own person, not just a young father. it can be hard for older people to become parents, and at our age there is still a lot to learn. i hope you don't stress too much and learn more along with your daughter.
Wising the best of luck to you
much power to you and your family
Hey me and my wife werent even 17 yet when we had our first daughter no education or means on either side. that was almost ten years ago now and through several jobs alot of change good and bad we have two more kids and things are better . Things get better people are rooting for the young family's.
I had my son at 18 and from experience I can tell you is too get into a trade and work your way up. Put in work now or you’ll regret wasted time. You want to be able to have a stable income which leads to a stable life. I struggled for many years and finally starting to get my life in order.
"Go with the flow" goes for your internal changes too, not just your material surroundings. To me, going with the flow doesn't mean that you have to like every change that happens, it just means you accept that things have changed, and adapt. Your practice of turning every bad experience into a positive through the "how is this the best thing that's ever happened to me?" question, is the opposite of going with the flow. I think it is an effort to have control over a situation you have little in, and to avoid heavy feelings surrounding those bad experiences. In the same way it hurts you to deny external changes, and try to chase what you once had, it hurts you to deny internal changes, and only accept your feelings when they are good feelings.
This. I'm still struggling with the "go with the flow" idea when my flow is feeling sad/angry/sh1tty in general, BUT trying to see the "nice part" of something that, objectively, does not have it, it's even worse. Fortunately I'm improving little by little :')
I just wanted to thank you so much for being so authentic, and unique as yourself. It's so good to see someone from the productivity niche who isn't like everyone else.
Its awesome to have your Aussie / Kiwi real, artist style presented in a way that is so comfy in your own skin. It is helpful to me in some way as it's cool to connect to someone from a different world view.
Keep being awesome.
I think that your explanation about how someone manages change is really interesting, I think my main problem is that I don’t realize that things changed until it’s too late, when I start missing how it used to be before, out of nowhere, even though that moment of my life changed quite a while ago, I find out quite late, it’s like when you enter 5th grade but you still feel like you’re in 4th grade for half of the school year
Bruh I’m 19 and still feel like I’m an 8th grader and a freshman
this is, by far, one on my top 10 FAVORITE videos about life. Having a lot of perspectives and especially knowing about your mom’s experience as a death biography writer is really interesting.
69 👍
Also cool! What’d you win?
/s
Adapting to changes in our lives is really hard but this video is an eye-opener that life is a fluid and we must know how to be flexible to survive.
I love the interview with your mom. Towards the end of my life, I'd love to be the most interesting person at the dinnertable, and honestly, your mom seems like she's pretty close to being such a person.
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I LITERALLY needed to hear about the Toothpaste Theory today. You always know how to uplift the energy.
If it is a small amount and it is not a new tube of toothpaste, try to slowly squeeze the flattened sides of the tube while sticking the open end deep into the amount you want to return to the tube. The squeezing action will create a vacuum as the tube is becoming more round and this will allow the paste to be sucked back into the tube. I do this a lot with tubed hand creams, it doesn’t suck in all of the excess but it does return a goodly amount of cream back into the tube. - found on Quora XD
Put the cap on. cut the end off with sharp scissors. Use a spatula to put the toothpaste back in to the back end of the tube. Clean and dry (inside and out) the cut end. Use a hot iron to reseal the back of the tube.
@@dildswagginz3408 So essentially, cosmetic surgery lol
Love the NON-HAT video! 🧢 I’ve heard you talk about your hair journey in a few of your videos and know what a big deal this is for you. Super proud of you for putting yourself out there exactly as you are and please know that we all love what you have to offer the world regardless of if you have hair or gain 500lbs. ☺️ I have a video on my channel about “how to stop letting other people’s opinions matter” if that’s helpful for anyone reading the comments.
What is the name of your video? I visited your channel but couldn't find it.
@@lisalamphier1410 Oh, sorry! It’s called “How I stopped caring about OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS” (Thumbnail: “The Mindset You Need)
@@JennLinsi thanks
no cap edition
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Thank you for this, and congratulations on your daughter. She is very lucky to be growing up with someone who has put so much work into themselves.
Wow. I've literally just broke up, changed my job and moved to a different country, that I don't know the language of (taking the hard road apparently). And pieces of advise like "just move on" and "the past is in the past" are not helping much. So this video was super helpful. Thank you.
Also you have the coolest mum.
Man your mom should have a podcast where she shares peoples stories
Definitely not they are personal
@@soreenloaf7519 Well definitely do not share there personal information
Oh man. I've been agonizing over this. You've summed up much of my thinking and have taught me a thing or two. Thank you so much.
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Have gone through MAJOR changes the last two years! Went from living in a suburb doing the busy life thing to moving onto tons of acreage in montana, living in a camper in a barn and now having a baby soon and most likely changing my work life to be around way more. Shit is WILD and scary and exciting and lovely and this video was very timely in putting some words to it. Thank you for sharing! Also, the new video style is super impressive! Loved all of them but for sure can tell you've upped the ante.
👆🎁👆 Thank you for watching…..you have been selected among the shortlisted winners for the ongoing PS5/PC/IPhone13 giveaway….message me now.
Hey, this was totally inspiring and grounding for me today. Thank you for your thoughtful and very helpful work.
This was the best video I have ever seen, dude! You've made me cry! But you have also reminded me that I have a purpose to fill in life and it's not gonna get done if I just sit down and wait.
Seriously in love with how you’re experimenting in this video! Can’t help to say that I love the editing and the flow of this video.
I’m trying to be in a growth mindset myself and to accept change. Even seeing grief in different perspective, the loss of a chapter in my life or a person.
I guess I get stuck in the daily bits of life and forget to zoom out to see the change or seek the change. It can be pretty tiring to seek change or go through change when there’s so many things happening like loss of loved one, job or having financial or health issues.
Someone once told me to be like water, and that does help me to an extent. Just gotta stick it out and go with the flow.
Thanks bald man 🫡
I’m currently dealing with the fact that my grandmother who raised me is having “mini strokes” and now has noticeable daily signs of early dementia (unsure of exact type right now), and I’m going through major changes in my identity as a 22 year old. It feels like 0 - 21 is its own life completely and I wasn’t ready to make it past 15 letalone to a brand new stage of brain development. All at the same time. My grandma just turned 71 and she wants to die with dignity, so I’m wondering how likely it is for her to push past 72 willingly. This video came at the perfect time. I need to accept more and more change than ever right now. So thank you for giving me someone to cry with, and important reminders about how impermanent I am and everyone else around me. I’m going to get my sister caught up and have a family talk hopefully this next upcoming week, and try to enjoy my hometown as much as possible while my partner and I reevaluate when to move somewhere new.
I love your video man. I’ve been dealing with struggling with change. My life changed so much from getting out of the army, to my dad dying, to me meeting my wife. I think you really brought a more solid understanding to it all. This was my first video I seen of yours, and you gained a subscriber. Thank you.
I tell my kiddos you can't un-experience anything you've experienced! Your Mom seems amazing! Being a parent is definitely changing!!!
First of all, you look amazing without your beanie. I don’t know what you looked like with hair but know that you look amazing without it. Second of all, thank you for sharing this theory. It opened my eyes to the idea of change and reassured me that I still have a lot of time to grow as a person (currently 18).
Love the conversation you had with your mom! It's so nice to hear someone wanting change even though they love their current life. The only time I think of change is when I don't like something in my life lol but I guess I should start looking at it in a different way! Amazing video! :)
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Right i started doing small changes in where I started to write more often since I wanted to write a short novel, but I always complained about not having the time. I started taking ten breaks during my lunch at work just to do short power writing and surprisingly I was able to get through the first two chapters. The small steps definitely helped me keep going.
Now I just implement this type of mindset within my job in order to get more things done.
It's hard watching this while getting used to the change of loss of both of my parents. And seeing him go to his mum, kinda made me feel hopeless. I used to go to my mum. Used to only have my mum. Now feeling lost, directionless, meaningless and been super super hard and I'm only 21. Growing up into a young women is very hard.
Life is just about keeping it together to not freak out your kids until they are old enough to appreciate that you kept it together and do the same for their kids thus creating a positive flow of life cycles that will promote general positivity on earth over time.
We probably wipe ourselves out as a species 😂
i’ve been in a really bad rut the past month and a half and i think i’m finally getting out of it, this video was perfect timing. thanks man
Same here, it’s been rough, dealing with a lot of grief, loss and trauma, plus this craziness globally has made me nuts. This video was much needed for me too.
@@mrs.quills7061 im sorry you’ve been in a bad place. i really hope you’re able to work through it though:)
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You weren't kidding when you said this is your best video yet! I smiled, laughed, cried - your mom's words hit so hard to me. Truly amazing work.
(Edit to say that the format of this video is top notch, flows really well!)
I actually got a little emotional there at the end. It was unexpected and kida threw me off. Can't wait for more lessons derived from your being a dad!
Wonderful- thank you so much. As a Buddhist for many years this of course is my main focus- I have been enjoying your videos this year and was a little anxious about how you would approach this topic. Right on! Your love and vulnerability at the end were so precious I’m still crying. ✌🏼🕊☮️
I have been going through a Lot lately, and one of the things weighing heavily on my mind is the idea that I'm going to be stuck living out the same work day until I die. Thanks for this video and your mom's insight as well.
If it's of any help: you are not alone. I'm beyond scared of this being the rest of my life. But we can only go where the flow takes us, there's no other path.
Breathe, and have a good life.
Change... inevitable. When you're young change occurs. The older you get, change occurs much faster and more frequently. Then you come to a point where life takes away more than it gives. But... you have so much to look back upon and say my life was really good.🙂
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“you will never ever get the opportunity to watch Shrek 2 for the first time again”. Danm…that really touched me. I just have a deep connection with that movie, and it seems everybody does!!
Your mother is so delightful and wise. Thank you for having her on here.
I like the toothpaste theory… you can also add that we brush our teeth at least once a day (hopefully) and with each brush and each day there is a small change occurring and overtime the small changes creat a bigger change (the toothpaste running out) then we need a new one which is a completely new change then what we had the day before… cool theory you created ☺️
Or your teeth becoming healthier and cleaner! I love brushing my teeth can't go to sleep without doing so
Like fluoride poisoning?
His mum
It's not theory, it's allegory
it’s like eating a bag of chips. The bag of chips is endless until you start touching the bottom. so cute how that’s aleo a perfect analogy to old age
You're mum is awesome 🙌. Has she thought about doing a podcast or distilling some of these stories into a book, something like - Wisdom of the Ages (tales from the end of Life). There is something beautiful about hearing Life advice from those that have lived a life and now close to the end. Every story is a diamond.
I don't think she has - but I'm gonna send her your comment and tell her to, coz she is FULL of this kind of stuff. She basically lives in a constant state of deathbed clarity, it's so cool
Came to comment the exact same thing! She should start a podcast or write a book!
Thank you for that. You had me in tears with that one. Enjoy being a Dad it’s truly the best thing that will ever happen to you.
I read a comment about the growth mindset on a diffrent video which i think is important. It said that a growth mindset while good can be frustrating and tiring sometimes. The thing with the growth mindset is that when you cant grow or change it can feel like your stuck. You start getting frustarted, annoyed etc. but you have to realize that sometimes you cant grow and i feel like thats really important to note.
Your videos always seem to have a way of dropping right when they are needed most in life. Thanks for all the wisdom you share and the lives you are changing for the better.
Also love seeing you and your channel grow and change, like the format of this one. Keep the toothpaste flowing
This video released the day of my anniversary and as it stands I'm a wreck. I lost it all. My father, friends, family...I'm 32 now and I've been at the brink of suicide many times. Had some close calls with alcohol addiction too. I feel like right now I'm just too stubborn to actually unalive myself, also it would be such a major blow against everything my father did for me and stood for, plus I have two beautiful dogs to care for so there's that. But yeah, I feel like I'm wasting my life, I have zero motivation, interests and goals. I don't really feel excitement or joy most of the times and I keep going through those cycles or real lows, than hype and failed attempts of getting out of the hole and back again at the bottom. Just wasting time and waiting to die almost. So yeah I get the toothpaste analogy, I also understand that I am VERY conscious of it and the worst part is that i had SO MUCH potential and I feel like I still do. I see myself wasting my life and I see my destructive patterns and yet no matter how hard I try I just can't get out of it. I still have hope though, don't know why or where it comes from but I do and that's also why I'm probably still here.
Hi @gabzsy, I can’t say I know what you are going through besides what you have mentioned above, and that seems like a lot, so sorry you are dealing with such difficult moments in your life right now. Similarly, I am going through my own crisis (can’t say midlife because I am 29) but it is rough out here. 😂 I would just like to say that maybe the feeling of wasting your life should be challenged, I think we will all have moments of not feeling inspired, connected, and even happy but I think that that is a part of life. My little sister once told me a quote that a friend had told her, “Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.” I think that maybe this is applicable to you because maybe you are still mad/angry with yourself for things done in the past. But I think in order to move forward, you should forgive yourself. Even though it might seem like your stuck in some messed up loop, in which you keep torturing yourself, it’s not true, I think we just need to change our perspective. Sorry don’t have all the answers yet but I just want to encourage to not be so harsh with yourself, pat yourself on the back for trying, celebrate yourself when you do something difficult, sometimes that is getting out of bed, and that is ok. Sorry if I rambled a lot but I hope you get to know how special and important you are in this life 🤗🌸💜
Do you have the resources to see a therapist? I think they could really help you.
Figure out something creative that you may enjoy doing. Creative hobbies are fulfilling, rewarding and challenging.
Nothing has helped me more than creating. Whether it's something in the arts or a product idea. You can do it kid.
@Gabzy I have been suicidal in the past. It’s usually part of a deep depression. One thing you might consider is pretend like you DID “unalive” yourself, as you say. Now imagine every day after that you are free to do whatever the F you want to do. Each day after is like a bonus one you can enjoy, like as if you’re in a dream world and disconnected from your past. What would you do if you had one more day? Do that. Then just keep doing it every day. Living “beyond your last day” might inspire you to find joy and beauty where there was despair before. We are all rooting for you. I wish you inner peace and contentment.
You just so nonchalantly touch deep in the human heart, mind and spirit.
I can't explain it. You are simply talented
Successful people don’t fail consistently; they avoid failure by stepping back and conducting an in-depth analysis and evaluation of their loss and developing a strategy to make sure it never happens again. This light-hearted approach of “you need to fail to learn how to succeed,” really needs to be compartmentalized, because too much failure does nothing more than beget more failure.
I always find myself coming back to your videos when I've had a bad day. Recently, I've moved out of my parents place for the first time from Canada to Japan, and it's been the most physically and emotionally draining thing I've dealt with since a health scare 3 years ago. Yesterday especially, I ended up breaking down from everything that's been going wrong with this move but... I dunno, watching your videos (especially this one today) is making me feel a bit more optimistic about this change.
Please keep these videos coming! I'm sure I'm not the only one that really appreciates them.
Your mom is doing EXACTLY what I want to do! That is so cool to hear her experiences with it. I love the career label too: "end of life biographer".
What a surprising video for my morning coffee. Thanks!
I needed to hear your mom tell of what she learned when it comes to regret. See, I recently left what I considered my dream job because a coworker of mine (who was a narcissist) verbally abused me one too many times for something very insignificant. I had to quit...and luckily I have a very supporting husband, but the choice is still very fresh and painful. My mom praises me for my strength in knowing when to walk away from a bad relationship (and never looking back), but what she doesn't understand is how much pain you suffer leading up to the point of walking. If you have self worth (what you bring to the so called table), you know in your gut when it's time to go, but there's still pain, regret, and anger after your decision. So here I am again, 44 years old, and having to search for a new job again...which is scary.
I wasn't gonna click on this video, it was an accident while scrolling, but the title was interesting enough to me that I wanted to hear what this was all about. It actually just answered quite a few important questions I had about myself as a young adult, who gets more confused the more he tries to make sense of things. Thank you for the video man, it was very touching 🙂
I can't tell how often this man made my life better! thank you for your videos, your helping such a bunch of people!
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Even though it's probably confirmation bias, your videos always seem to come at exactly the right moment. I'm facing a lot of changes right now. As a matter of fact, your video helped me seeing that this drained, tired and somewhat estranged feeling I experience now is probably just that: change. I immediately ordered Carol's book, thank you so much for this video.
This is perhaps the best channel I've ever discovered.
High Quality Writing and Delivery + Insightful AND Practice Life Tips + Cheeky Sense of Humor = Fucking Brilliant.
Great effort, mate 👍
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Best way to learn is making mistakes. Do not bother mistakes, just go on and avoid doing same mistake again.
Whenever this man puts out a video, it's always exactly what I need to hear at my current stage in life.
I just started a new extremely difficult but extremely rewarding job just adjusting to the new schedule has been really hard for me. Let alone all the new responsibilities and expectations. I'm definitely taking this video and it's lessons with me.
The level of stoked you are about being a dad is so sweet and wholesome. I love parents who are just like “wow, I made this little bean, this is my best friend and favorite person, I will do anything for them.”
bro, im a bit tardy to the party here but this video had a bigger impact than what i was anticipating going into this. thanks for this it was awesome. also i love your moms work, i finally have a name for it. thats what i wanted to be for a while, i just didnt know that it was something you could live off of by. anyway, cheers mate.
Man, this is another level! As a RUclipsr myself, I see how much effort and preparation you put into this one, great job!
The openness in these comments is beautiful and inspiring. Thanks for sharing. This video was a wonderful experience , Cam. Fantastic edit. Your thoughtfulness and mindful work speaks. An agile balance of vulnerability, openness, leadership, and self awareness. As a RUclips creator and a person in general, you inspire. 🤙
Going through a really tough time with a breakup and this perspective is seriously helping. It feels so easy to keep going back to them and avoid the emotional pain of losing them but that change is better than staying with them and making us both unhappy for longer than need be. I hate life sometimes man but hey what are you gonna do man 😢
I was listening to a podcast that said, “it’s important to live life by design rather than emotion. Basically, sticking to a routine is what allows us to be the healthiest version of ourselves (especially when you're fighting these demons ex. OCD for me).
I’ve had to overhaul how I approach taking care of my brain (exercise, journaling, studying etc) by practising mediocre consistency. Now I try to put in consistent 50-60% effort into my journaling habit - to make sure I do it I began recording it and posting it on YT. After a really bad depression phase I started to believe I couldn’t change and I’d feel that horrible forever.
Historically I have a habit of going too hard, not being able to sustain the Herculean effort, giving up and hating myself. So now I’m trying to give a small, consistent mediocre effort everyday. And its crazy how it adds up.
Small incremental steps are far more effective in the long run . Keep going
Thanks for this. I will do this
Love the quote! Do you happen to know which podcast it was?
I would disagree. Just living life as it goes is most natural and best for our mental state.
@@astrologiaconfer here it is !! ruclips.net/video/CGyW1Rp1Y2g/видео.html
A video who told me who I am. I’ve never stopped striving for improvement and achieving my goal of becoming a forensic scientist. I’m 36 and I’ve only just begun an undergraduate degree. Wow. Subscribed! Thank you!! ❤
(F25, Australian) I just want to say THANK YOU. Genuinely. I've been in such a terrible place and your videos have helped so much. I feel like I can actually get my life back on track.
Wise words from your rather beautiful mother! I didn’t know that an end of life biographer was a thing but it sounds like something you’d learn some really interesting things about people through. Thanks for an insightful video as always cam, I’ve just left my job and am about to travel south east Asia for 6 months - bring on change!!
Dude, I love your mum 😭
I wish I had someone like her in my family or inner circle ❤️ Incredibly direct yet positive
I literally needed this... I have been so down and out the last 2 weeks afraid of losing everyone I have and growing old ... and youtube recommended this ..... thank you
I'm experiencing the same. Addiction and health problems have me at the end of my rope. I'm only in communication with one of my three children and I have no other friends or family. Furthermore I recently quit my job with no other plan. It's a hard place to be. In many ways I feel as if my life is over. Maybe somehow things will get better.
"Change, Man. What The Fuck" should be the title of your autobiography
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This video is incredible! So many moments brought tears to my eyes, and I appreciate how much effort you always put into your videos.
Lately I've been pondering deleting social media because of the time waster that it is. Time on an existential level, not just productivity. I think about, "what if I get news tomorrow that I'm dying?" I would wish so much that I didn't spend so much time on tiktok or instagram or whatever. All that to say - one of your last lines (about getting off of RUclips and telling loved ones that you love them) felt like you were speaking directly to me. It moved me so much that I had to pull my phone out and come write this comment lol. Your efforts are appreciated!!
¡i'm already in love with this channel! i'm watching this after recently entering a period of profound change in my life. in fact, this video, which was apparently dropped only 3 days before my 33rd birthday and 2 weeks before my first ever arrest, comes to me just as i'm completing my first 28 day rehab ...due to my 15 year addiction to opioids & amphetamines. so better dealing with change is a personal skill that i lately find myself very keen to cultivate, especially because i've lately become so keenly aware that its one i've been severely lacking for so many years. just the awareness of these things can have such a profound impact on one's future.
Neuroplasticity is such a gamechanging concept, and makes the outlook on things such as traumatic brain injury or inherited traits and disorders so much more nebulous than the commonly accepted prognosis. The potential for the mind to re-train and reform itself to deal with those and other challenges is exponentially greater with the understanding of neuroplasticity and we only now are starting to come to grips with what it entails.
yo this video was so well made like WOW definitely a huge improvement. also im going through a huge change (gonna go to university and im choosing my major which might be unimportant compared to becoming a parent but its the biggest change i've experienced so far in my life) and honestly its been so rough just choosing and risking things and worrying. it will be a huge change for my family too and i feel so much responsibility for it. anyways just wanted to say this video calmed me down a bit and all the shots and the editing was so freaking cool.
Good luck with university! It might be overwhelming at first but I bet it's going to be great no matter what you end up choosing.
@@jessguilford4207 thank you so much you're so sweet!
Hello fellow university starter! I’m 35 and begin in a few weeks, I’m very nervous too. It’s a good sign, it means it really matters to us. You’ll throw your all into it and that’s what matters. Wishing you all the best!
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@@katewilliams9973 thank you Kate you're awsome! lets do this WOOO
One of my Mum's great quotes is "You can please some of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time. " Love you Mum.
when we lived 0-18 years old, it seemed to take forever.....when you watch someone age from 0-18 it feels like just a few years. when the older folks said, " time moves faster when you get older " they were 100% correct so do the other things they suggest too, "Enjoy it while it lasts" and also, " Don't wish your life away ". (even when it sucks)
I can really understand little Carol. I was treated similarly - we weren't seated in order of intelligence, but everybody made it clear, that they see me as the most intelligent. It is an immense burden for a child! Everyone expects from you to be simply the best in everything, which is impossible. School grades don't depend only on intelligence. The pressure can crush a child. I think that's why many child prodigies fail to have a successful life, many even struggle to keep their life from failing completely. Just think about Mozart or much more recently, child actors like Macaulay Culkin (I know, it seems he got his stuff together). Putting children in a box, even if it is a positive one like "Most intelligent" is a serious burden for them, that I guess, most people don't realise.
Thank you for the video! I finished my final college assignment yesterday, like for 6 months already.. so the timing is really perfect. My mind was on empty state with how much struggle I experienced, also how much my day routines became messy and irregular. I had heard about "fixed vs growth mindset" before. At some point when I was frustrated with the project, I dug my memory deep and promised myself to not forget about it again. But then I watched your video. I was like "oh he mentions the thing!!"
There's so much details I want to compliment. Somehow I see this video as the projection of how I would comfort myself from The Fear™, especially with "jumping from one page to another page, to finally find an answer". Thank you for sharing this journey. Also congrats for the happy smol family!
Such a brilliant video thanks so much! I’m about to go to university to study fine art at 35 years old. I took up drawing and painting a couple of years ago (fell so hard in love with it) and found your young channel at the same time and you’ve been a big part of my creative journey. So much awesome advise, and In a few weeks time my life is going to take a big change when I become a student again, and it feels super scary and amazing! Sometimes to cope I definitely indulge in nostalgia and watch old tv shows etc. it can provide comfort. This video, as with all your others, has come at the exact right time! Thanks for everything Cam!
Nice there is another lesson about control and focus. What can I change, control/focus within myself along with the things I can’t change, things that are constant and inevitable. So going with the flow is something I like dearly.
That example of not being able to watch Shrek 2 for the first time ever again really struck a cord with me. Because I remember that moment so vividly and it happened so long ago.
I lost my hair at 24 and completely related to the big change of going bald being very confronting. I'm nearly 28 now and absolutely love it. I really only wear hats or beanies now when I have to quite literally protect my head from the weather haha.
I read Mindset during 2021 and it has changed my life a lot. I'm now at university going for a career change, as a highschool drop out I never thought I could study further. I'm top of my class. Change is amazing and the growth mindset does work.
OH MY GOD CONGRAJULASHIONS ON BEING A FATHER OMG!! 😭🥳💗✨ also im in love with the editing and this video omg!!! i already knew Carol Dweck, but the way you explained her theory was so so amazing!!! also your mom's wisdom was everything i needed to know and think about change. 😭😭😭
Love your approach. I've used this to get me through the toughest of times, including death, & childhood sexual abuse- which is a theme in my family. Always, when the dark hits, I count my blessings such as having a roof over my head, & look at how I've grown because of the challenges, not despite of them. And it's always worth remembering that this aspect of life really isn't that long...to me it's how we manage our challenges that counts, not our status or other non-sense measure of worth. Peace to All 🕊🕊
Do you have one of you interviewing your mom? The chemistry between you two is magnetic and she is a joy to listen to. Between her beauty, wisdom, perspective, and infectious laughs... I would be interested and inspired by hearing more about her life.