CHAPTER FOUR; WHEN I MOVED TO AMERICA NOT KNOWING I GOT MARRIED TO AN ABUSIVE MAN!
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- Part 4: My Story - Love, Loss & Finding My Strength
This part of my story is one of the hardest to tell. I share how a long-distance relationship led me to America, believing I was stepping into a new, happy chapter of my life. But instead, I found myself trapped-isolated, controlled, and eventually facing physical and emotional abuse.
I open up about the manipulation, the fear, and the moment I realized I had to fight for my freedom. I also talk about the struggles & the people who helped me, and the painful truth I had to face about those I thought I could trust.
This is my truth-raw, unfiltered, and deeply personal. Thank you for listening, for supporting, and for standing with me as I share my journey.
#Survivor #Healing #Resilience #MyStory #SpeakingOut #Strength
It’s not entertainment sis. When you share your story we hurt and cry with you and you educate us to do better. May Allah continue to give you strength. You are a remarkable young lady and survivor ❤️
Although this won’t make you feel better, remember that every single person that has done you wrong will be dealt with in the afterlife. I can’t believe how much you’ve been through, you’re such a beautiful strong person and I pray Allah heals you
Aww my love! I want to give you the biggest hug. You deserve justice forall the people that failed you
girl trust me this isn’t entertainment this is awareness for everyone
Your story is NOT entertainment - as painful as it is, you're turning it into something inspiring for a lot of people, for sure. The strength and resilience you've shown through everything you've been through is incredible. It really puts things into perspective, and it’s amazing to witness how confident you are in navigating all the hardships and speaking publicly to the world. You're a stunningly beautiful, smart, and strong young woman-please keep your head up. I am truly sorry that you had to go through all this horror, especially at such a young age-under 20 years old. The sad part is that your parents and the women (the mother in-law and his sisters) in Ohio, who should have been protecting you, allowed such a horrific thing to happen to you. I really don't want to say this here, but your ex husband is an insecure looser, because no confident man will isolate his wife or anyone from friends and family. I've heard similar tragic stories about young Somali and Pakistani women in Canada. I truly wish you a life filled with nothing but joy, love, and all the happiness your heart can hold.
girl I’m not watching you as entertainment 😭😭 I’m watching to learn from your experiences and you’re absolutely inspiring ❤
Many of our toxic experiences in our adult life come from childhood. I am sick and tired of seeing so many people suffering!
So true. You only realize later on in life
I’m still mentally and physically recovering from childhood trauma. But such is life I guess
This is not entertainment. This is a story of a young woman who has been to hell and back. You are a strong resilient woman. Keep telling your story because you give others the strength to come forward and tell theirs❤❤❤❤
This is the most devastating story I’ve ever heard, the fact that you’re able to re-tell it and still seem like such a smiley and positive person is a testament to your strength! Thank you for keeping on going and not giving up on yourself or on life. I pray that you thrive and the Lord blesses you with peace and happiness wherever you go!
Girl, remember we love you and care about you I wish I could jump through this screen and hug you
You story was not entertainment sis my Allah heal you and help you forget those traumatic events that should have never have been done to u ❤️ur strong beyond resilient I hope for happiness health prosperity for u sis
This is not entertainment to us, this is enlightenment ❤️ thank you for sharing sweetie xxx
A story has never made me cry I’m praying for your healing sis
Your truly strong young woman, I can't believe the amount of courage it took you to speak of traumatising past .
I am really proud of you, sister, my Allah protect you from all evils
Her parents are to be blame for all this in a way , Somali parents will not admit it but many of them have no /had no business having children they did not want to properly raise and mother /father. They had us because it was what was the normal expected thing to do in society
It took me so long to finish the whole thing, and I can’t even imagine how much pain you went through. The only thing you’ve shown me is that you’re the strongest girl I’ve ever seen. May Allah reward you for your hardships. Ameen.
She truly is. Ameen
I have kind of a similar story but much less traumatic, dealing with Somali men. Family issues and cultural and religious norms. Which is why I redirected my life, put myself first and stay clear from religous pychosis. A lot of religious people are closeted narcissts who enjoy seeing young woman suffer the most and forcing us to surrounder our lives around men. Thats why education and work is so important, we have the right to clarity and peace of mind. Theres no reason any young girl should be subjected to this kind of tramua. I pray u heal and find peace of mind. x
It’s not religion at all it’s culture and it’s worse when these self proclaimed “religious” men think that they can mix their backward culture with Islam it’s so wrong because Islam doesn’t let men treat women with such cruelty Islam is there to protect a woman and the rights of a wife are so much more than a husband - a woman has no obligation to her in laws at all and anything she does for her husband ie cook and clean is considered charity because she doesn’t need to do anything.
They will all be accountable on the day of judgement for the pain and trauma they caused these women hiding behind religion when in reality it’s the toxic culture that was bred into them
Its so easy to blame religion, when the Quraan and Sunnah constantly speaks of treating your mother, wife , daughter with kindness, fairness and dignity. Nowhere does it say in the religion to beat and degrade and abuse women.
I suggest just as its suggested women educate themselves on their rights and working (how work us going to help really baffles me), it would be wiser to educate onself in the Deen and not make broad statements about it and mistake culture and customs for religion.
So called religious leaders are humans and err, and they too are stooped in customs and culture and are often misguided.
Thats not to say that within the community there arent upright Godfearing leaders.
The operative is God Fearing.
It would be astute for all those that are victims, and there are many many of them, to adopt too the attitude of being God Fearing, turn to their God, seeking His Help and guidance, and not seek refuge in work and education, that often enough give the victim false sense of empowerment and bravery, purely because its designed to steer one away from closeness and contentment to and with God.
May Almighty God guide us all onto the right Path and guard us against the whisperings of evil.
@@sorayavanderschyff937 It is both religion and culture, religion encourages men to treat women badly because a woman is not seen as an adult who is capable of making her own decisions, that's why in Islam your guardian is a male relative even if that happens to be you own 10 year old son. Do men in the Quran need a guardian to travel, to study, to marry etc etc ? can women marry 4 men? can women inherit equal to men? even as witnesses you just need one man but when it comes to women you need 2. All these religions are sexist that's why it's obvious that it was written by men. Even in the after life a man gets 72 virgin women who renew their virginity each night(male fantasy) but a woman gets the one husband she had on earth, which simply shows you how insecure the writer was that he couldn't even let women have the choice, even in the after life they needed to control women.
@@sorayavanderschyff937if you read properly, they said “religious psychosis”, not religion.
@@FF-by6cii dont know if your somali or muslim but you seem to not understand islam and all the questions you posed. You are too emotional and just trying to blame religion. I can answer your questions easily but its needs some one to be sincere,reflective and not emotions control their mind.
I am so sorry, my heart breaks for you. I will sincerely make dua for your healing and a beautiful present and future 💕
I truly believe the evil scum of this earth who do wrong to others will pay one day.
Much love to you, girl! You are a warrior! Better days are ahead for you, sis, and all is well now❤❤❤
Abayo السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
You made a comment in the video about this being entertainment for us. Walaahi, this is hard to watch and to hear, my heart aches for you and I can only pray that Allaah showers His mercy on you in your healing process and grants you spaces and people who can and will be your safe-spaces. You're so incredibly strong and you shouldn't have had to be/people should never ever have put you in those positions.
May Allaah reward you for all your hardship and grant you Jannah and true Justice in the aakhirah
X
Hey Abaayo, I just wanted to say that your story is so inspiring and your strength continues to amaze me throughout all these trials and tribulations. Thank you so much for sharing the intimate and really allowing yourself to heal publicly while being the Inspiration that many women in our community need. much love💗💗
Am so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for sharing 💕 much love from Phoenix
i have never been physically attacked but 40:01 triggered me.. i wish you all the happiness in the world, may u continue w your healing journey..❤
I understand u went through a lot of trauma and i hope that by sharing your story you can help alot of people like this. I also smile/laugh through my pain as a coping mechanism, sending you lots of love sister 💕
Im so sorry, you were so young and innocent, nobody protected you. But it seems like you finally had enough and changed your life. Im so proud of how far you’ve come and thank you for sharing your story.
I am so sorry you have gone through all this. Psychos look for vulnerable people to prey on which unfortunately means when we are vulnerable we tend to run into more and more horrible people because they are predators.
I'm so sorry you are reliving that pain 😢
I just found your channel and hearing your life story has been so interesting, your strength and resilience is so touching and aspiring, praying for your continued healing and may god bless you endlessly. thank you for being open with us and sharing your story.
You've been through so much, I'm so sorry to hear this, I pray you have peace and the happiness you deserve ❤
I couldn’t stop crying, you are such a strong woman!
Man I’m so sorry this happened to you. His mom was so evil, I don’t know how other women especially mothers can’t empathize with the situation. It literally boggles my mind
Hey sis you were a catch then and now Allahumma baarik.... I'm so sorry you went through all that 🫂
I’m so sorry my love may Allah grant you strength and healing may those who oppress you be punished your so strong to live through all that pain at such a young age your father will be held accountable for his actions and all the led to it il keep you in my duas i pray you live and fruitful life be reunited with your son and find a god fearing man who treats you like the queen you are Ameen
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Sorry you went through all that habibti ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I am so proud of you for sharing this and honestly you can look at it as a form of empowerment too. May Allah swt disgrace all of those people who wronged AND betrayed you. The fact that there was not 1 person who had your best interest at heart and looked out for you is just so shocking to me. Idk you sis but I already love you. Everyone who watched this is behind you. Wallahi it’s not entertainment.
Your videos serve as a reminder and example of how somali culture can enable toxicity and mobilise against young somali girls who stand up for themselves and refuse to be victims. The fact that you were barely an adult and went through all this attests to this. You were vulnerable and needed someone who knew better to take you under their wing.
I really felt it sumaya and just hold my tears and force not cry but i really hope you find inner peace in your soul .
Speaking up really teaches and encourages others to get out and fight back their trials .
You are STRONG keep faith Sumaya .❤
:( sending you much love & strength💗 you deserve everything beautiful and amazing from this world because of how beautiful and amazing you are. i am just a stranger but i feel so proud of you, i look up to you. please know that what you have experience does NOT define you, it says more about those evil abusive people who preyed on a young already vulnerable girl and i hope they never have a good night of sleep ever again.
your younger self would be beyond proud of you. thank you for continuing to share with us, just know that you have helped so many other girls and not just the Somali community but also Muslim communities who may have or currently are experiencing something similar to you by sharing these painful chapters of your life. i love you so much
No words can truly express the sorrow of your past, but seeing you here today, holding your head high, is truly beautiful. May Allah protect and guide you, and I’m deeply sorry for all the suffering you’ve endured Sumaia❤️
I’m so saddened by your trauma story 😢it isn’t entertaining, I pray you will find some peace and healing. 💕
That family needs to be exposed, I’m so angry for you. How could they treat you like that, especially the mother? She should’ve treated you like her own daughter.
So many ppl knows the famliy but its her choose to say who the are so we have to respect her decision even if we want to expose them evil family
Hey sis, I dont find these videos entertainment and I don't enjoy watching this. Its physically hurts me and im crying most of it and distressed. I watch these to know your story and hoping my views go in your pocket somehow because thats all I can do for you. I just want to just be your friend and hang out with you and get to know who YOU are and find things we have in common etc etc.
Just remember one thing please, these people you have encountered are NOT real Muslims whatsoever. They will have to face Allah and hell exists for these types of people! Heaven exists for people like you ❤️
Im here if you need a friend, I need one too 🤗
Wallahi I’m genuinely just shocked more so flabbergasted. What kind of villains are these people? How dare they call themselves Muslims and do these things. I’m genuinely just amazed at how people can really treat someone YOUR WIFE, especially someone who you know suffered so much. Honestly I am at 29:34 and I am just scared to know the rest because can it truly get worse than this. I feel so frustrated. May Allah make all your suffering nolify your sins on the day of judgement. May Allah make those evil people suffer in jahanam forever.
I am so so sorry to hear that. You've been through too much. 😢
Sumaya you’re very strong girl may Allah be with you forever your a warrior
I’m so sorry this happened to you, I pray for your healing and inshallah Allah will vindicate you 🫶🏽
May Allah heal you and reward you to your pain . The ones who put you through this will have to answer to Allah one day
Allah was a witness to whatever happened rest assured these people will be put on the hottest pedestal on the day of judgement n it was a test for u n rewards that u earned stay strong sweetheart n we r learning through ur story ❤️❤️😘
I have been watching these videos and wallahi this is so traumatic. May Allah SWT ease your pain.
Allah caused this 😂😂😂, it’s the religion that made her father marry her off 😂😂😂😂😂, if it wasn’t allowed he wouldn’t do it
@sugarcookiesandcreamhuhhhh????🤨
❤️this is a stepping stone to healing
Thank you for sharing 🖤🖤🖤🖤as soon as u said Detroit I knew it was going downhill...I don't see this as entertainment at all my heart goes out to u.. talking about having to grow up fast what a life. Thank spirit you're still here sis
nooo, i cant i have to stop at part 3 because what? I hope everything in your life is peaceful now and im glad that you got to see your son Alhamdulilah and that he is doing well ❤And that your mom and you are good Alhamdulilah. Sis, what a journey
I broke down crying when you showed the pictures of your bruises. You looked so young and innocent. It breaks my heart that you’ve experienced so much pain and hurt. I won’t ever stop making dua for you. You deserve nothing but the best. These people will be punished for everything they’ve have done
you have been incredibly let down and neglected by your mother abayo, you can always love her but your mother neglected you. a mothers job is to protect her offspring's and she didn't protect you.
I love listening to your story. I ran as soon as I saw the post on TikTok. This is so traumatizing and I’m so sorry. I pray in shaa Allah you find peace and healing 💖💖💖💖. Amiin
So sorry walalo❤ those people will answer to Allah
Omg you are backkkk. I was wondering what happened to you. It’s good to see you ❤️
If it was not for what your parents did to you , you would not of experienced these things in America you was a lonely young vulnerable victim who was taken advantage of , im soo sorry you experienced this may Allah heal you and grant you a better life and hereafter , those people are very eveil and scary and would fear Allah and judgement say for what they did to you because this is not how you treat a human let alone your family , thank you for sharing this and I hope your are healing and doing better sumia I will keep you in my duas sis
The way i ran to this!
I am very sorry for all of this...I was crying SO MUCH with you...I wish I could hug you!! You are very brave. May Allah bless you and protect you❤🩹Thank you for sharing your story!
Sending you all the love you’re a strong woman and I hope you don’t have to be anymore in those life, may allah ease the rest of your living days fill it with genuine love, emotional safety and contentment ❤❤❤❤
girl ive been waiting
You were just a child 💔 I’m soo sorry you’ve been through all of that
I’m crying I so sorry you went through this😭
This is so sad. May Allah heal you and keep toxic men far away from you❤️
I just find ur channel and am crying with evwry video but i think this is the hardest 😢
Honestly I am so sorry you went through this baby girl … I cried so much hearing your story, can’t imagine going through this , may Allah swt give you justice for all of the suffering from you went through from your parents to every person that wronged you . Sending you lots duas baby girl . 🙏🙏🙏🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
these people are evil 💔 i am so sorry that you went through all of that
I’m so sorry you been through a lot at a young age 😢 may Allah be with you abayo
So happy that he was arrested
SHAME THEM!! Including his momma!!!
Girl you have been through 😢may Allah grant you ease
Just know Sumaia Allah is the most just and severe in Punishment. Even if they might be living good now. One day you will be there as they get asked “why did you do this to this girl who had already suffered” and the fear that’s going to show in their face as they head to jahanam. We will be there!!!!!!
I wish nothing but the worst for that family.
I'm so sorry this happened to you abaayo. Sending lots of love. InshAllah you get some sort of jutsice and find peace and happiness.💞💞💞
BAIT THEM OUTTT
SubhanAllah, thank you for sharing this. It’s insane how people used religion to cause this level of suffering and how this is not an isolated incident. This leads to deep religious trauma. May Allah continue to give you strength and healing!
Also the fact that the embassy holds your passport is CRAZY
Oh sweetie 😢. My heart dropped at the end am soo sorry this happened to you 😢😢❤
11:03 didn’t know that the embassy makes you pay it back omg
This is very common. Even in Canada when you sponsor someone they have to pay it back.
Omg i just cant i cried sooo much ugh i hate what happened to you im so sorry i lived in Columbus northside i wish i would of known you what a kind hearted girl STRONG 💪 one at that
SubhanAllah Sis can I just say that we do not find this as entertainment. Hearing this story I want to strange several people. A lot of Somali families when we was new to this country years ago used to act like Allah wasn’t watching them. I have a childhood friend who was treated horribly by her own cousin that brought her to the country. SubxanAllah may Allah hold them accountable. I’m heart broken for you sis. May Allah grant you goodness and give you allllllll of their good deeds in the hereafter (if they even have any)❤
You're STRONG and AMAZING I'M SO SORRY YOUGO THROUGH THIS ❤❤😭😭😭😭😭
Please i need to know how you are right now! Inshallah you have found some peace in independence. If there is one thing I know is that a girl needs her independence. Youll never be guaranteed peace as long as your depending on others... Especially men..
If anyone isn’t too triggered they should read “a woman is no man”. People get murdered by generational trauma. Take care of yourselves.
We wanna hear you story more girl, xx sorry to hear what happened to you but this has to been there are more ppl who is going trough the same thing right now this is not okey❤
Can you please tell us the name? I live in west side Columbus I can’t imagine monsters like this living amongst us
Send you love and hugs God bless you
Subhanallah may Allah grant you peace with all this and may he ease your pain, Inshaa Allah whenever there is hardship the ease is 10 times better. May Allah reward you and forgive your sins for all you’ve been through
Sending love girl sorry man
Omg i am from Detroit . Were you in Dearborn ? That’s so crazy but i am so happy you are doing better ❤
No I was In Ann Arbor, MI first & then moved to Columbus,Ohio
@ ohh , well either way I am glad you are out of it . This is all what makes you , you 🩷 beautiful soul
Habo this is not entertainment its sad habo you go thru lots darama I hope you find way out
I've been waiting!!!!
Sameee
may allah ease your pain abaayo 🤍🤍
Subxanallah, this was so hard to listen 😢😢😢😢😢
Sending you hugs🥹🫂🫂💗
Subhan Allah inna lilLaahi wa inna ilahi raji'uun
Subhanallah I’m shocked wth
I like your bed, where did you get it from?
I've heard too many stories, I don't think I want me or anyone in my family to marry into a Muslim household. These men get away with anything.
To think that he was allowed to dictate over all the women in the house and the sister and mother enabled and helped him abuse you?!
Excuse me but what do these men's behaviour have to do with Islam?1.9 billion Muslim across the world with different cultures & backgrounds and you narrow down ALL MUSLIM MEN the stories you've heard?
All men are capable of abuse regardless of their religion or culture. You shouldn’t just generalise. That is the importance of doing background checks from potential suitors and asking about him to the community and doing a deep dive on who he is as a person. Islam doesn’t encourage any of this and these things will be punished accordingly
He went against Islam. Islam does not accept this behavior at all.
It’s important to remember that just because a few people act a certain way, it doesn’t mean it represents everyone, especially in any religion. There are abusive people everywhere, but that doesn’t mean their actions reflect what Islam, or any religion, teaches. Islam actually condemns abuse and encourages kindness and respect. So, before making statements like that, it's good to educate yourself on what the religion actually stands for. It's unfair to judge billons of people based on the actions of a few.
I’m Muslim and I agree with you
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Sumaia cadey 💕 aabayo sorry this happen to you. May allah protect and bless you ameen💕
Remember Allah will question them on the day of judgement !
Subhanalllah this is actually so uncceptable 🥲🥲
Let us know who they are so we can avoid thoes evils