Everything Wrong With Genesis 36 in the Bible
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- I know what you're thinking. You. Need. More. Genealogy!
Don't worry. I got you covered. (I am so sorry.)
**Be sure to check out the rest of this series**
Playlist: • Everything Wrong with ...
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Thank you to Yanely Del Rosario for providing captioning help!
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I was using the NIV Bible: www.biblegatew...
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This whole chapter was written before the word 'etcetera' was invented
Pablo Sorbara Brilliant !
funny
@Archie Fitzpatrick What is that even supposed to mean? and why are you answering every comment with that?
Etcetera...wasn’t that the third son of Obalah the Horite?
Hemet: have a child and call it a day.
My scattered brain: have a child and call "it" "Aday".
😆
Lmao
Biblical genealogy always the best source when it comes down to history and dating how old the universe is🤣🤣🤣 I needed that laugh.
It also serves as a great guide to immorality. Helpful instructions to polygamy, incest, child molestation, theft, murder, genocide, rape, cheating, deceit, alcohol abuse, blood sacrifice. The list goes on. Very handy instructions for daily use.
And this is supposed to be a good book 😂
@Archie Fitzpatrick Lysol was the first disinfectant born at night.
Born was the man first Esau white
Makes more sense that irreducibly complex eyeballs magically evolved, right?
To be fair, these were originally old oral tales before they got written up in the Bible. The genealogies were probably there so anyone in the audience could pop out and use the latrines without missing anything important. (Same with the lists of ships in The Iliad.)
My college Greek literature professor explained it this way. Homer was writing about 400 years after the Trojan war, just as Genesis was written a thousand years after the supposed events. The family names that Homer lists for the ships would have been the names of prominent families at his time. His audience would then be proud to know that their ancestors fought in the battle. You've got to hand it to the creative names in Genesis because by New Testament times all men were one of about 10 names and 90 percent of the women were Mary with a couple of Salome thrown in for good measure.
filler. All of the genealogical crap was just that, filler.
It would give them time to dig that hole away from the camp.
@Archie Fitzpatrick Well he was a super furry ginger, which is kind of odd because most gingers generally have very little or fine body hair rather than being indistinguishable from a baby goat. So what was the skin tone of people before Esau?
@Archie Fitzpatrick spam? Spamity spam!
"That sentence was from the Department of Redundancy Department": Hemanth is becoming more and more *savage* with time. 😁😂🤣
With reason. 😄
Aren’t we all? Lol
🤣
You know, every verse of the bible is poetic beauty and full of helpful life advice, I have been told.
And yet, when my son sassed me, I didn't have him stoned outside the city gate.
@@danacampbell8331 There's still time!
@Archie Fitzpatrick Nonsense!
Archie Fitzpatrick Enough with the copy and paste ffs. Sing something new.
White was the born man Esau first
"Stop padding the bible!"
Love it! :)
The appendices at the end of Lord of the Rings are more interesting.
I guess J.R.R Tolkien could have written a better Bible.
@@TWWolf314 Did you read the silmarillion?
You never know: a thousand years from now, LOTR might BE the bible.
From the 1 dislike I can say that 1 christian watched this video
@@hzaneaskins2602 why..why would you dislike such a fun video? Or do you dislike the stupidity of the story?
@@hzaneaskins2602 not being allowed to bear false witness, good man, I'm kind of proud of you.
You’re having a laugh. The Christians love these videos. One the other day accused Hemant of “Cherry Picking” a can you believe that! If he was cherry picking, he might have given this one a miss, no?
@@J.L.Media. I prefer the original way you spelled it: Cheery picking...
Forgive them for this, they love to throw back these terms but they only come back like boomerangs...
Marc De Cock My phone mistook cherry for cheery twice. Annoying!
The Bible is mythology just like the the stories of other religions that tried to explain how earth came to be
And why are they Mythology?
@@eho6380 Do u belong to any religion? Wich one?
But this isn't just mythology. It's politics. These genealogies were important because people would say that they were the great great great grandson of someone and were thus entitled to something. After all, God gave power and real estate to the family of Abraham, so all his descendants want their cut.
@@NG3L69 Islam
@Archie Fitzpatrick I didn't say that I was a Jew/Christian
I never would have thought anyone could make this stuff... entertaining! Well done, sir!
Very funny as usual, Hemant. Honestly there is no way I could read this on my own without closing the book immediately, if not for your humor I couldn’t stick with it.
I used to know a family with 6 children, all of their names had just 1 letter difference. It was just as infuriating as you'd imagine.
Jacob, Jakob, Jackob, Jaccob, Jakkob, and Jakobe.
OY Vay! I think I'll save this video in my "Insomnia" list of sleep-inducing audio.
"Department of Redundancy Department"
I see what you did there =D
I love you for doing this, but also feel a bit sorry 😅 please know that your sacrifice is being immensely appreciated 🙏
The ultimate torture: Genealogy Forever ♾
Hell doesn’t hold a candle 🕯
I like how chaotic the tree is because of abraham, because Haran was smart and only had Lot, who in turn only had Moab and Ammon.
I have to say, this was the funniest chapter you've done so far. I was laughing like crazy.
You have to do something to keep your sanity during this crap
The funniest Genealogy was when they named the decedent of Adam and Eve, these were the funniest in my opinion.
you can tell straight up that these family trees are made up, as they try very hard not to repeat names. makes it so much easier for the reader not to be confused by having any same names, which occurs regularly in reality.
The lack of any Jr.'s is very unrealistic. I know families that not only name their kids after fathers and uncles, but also do different iterations and spellings on the same names.
@@hope-cat4894 : "Jr." postfix was not part of the nomenclature of those early days. They used "son of.." to help distinguish people of those tribes than numberred merely tens of thousands.
@@Chris-op7yt I meant Jr. in the sense of a repeat name, not a literal usage of the suffix Jr.
But that's an actually interesting fact to know.
@@hope-cat4894 : yep, cool. just clarifying and in fact it's like the same thing, just not using modern language. it's all very patriarchal btw, both the ancient and modern forms.
its coming!!! chapter 38!!!!! OMG!! I CANT WAIT FOR IT!!!
I'm guessing something good is going to happen in that chapter and by good I mean something horrific that churches like to avoid talking about
@@sagrawolf here u go
ruclips.net/video/cGecYM8S1r0/видео.html
Starring Onan the Arbarian
@@ananth218Canada
Genesis 38 definitely breaks the narrative flow since it interrupts the Joseph cycle by focusing on Judah. Personally I believe chapter 38 was a later addition to the book, something that written between chapters 37 & 38 because the author of the text couldn't find a proper place for it.
Robert Kirby Then why include it? It’s sooooooooo odd of a chapter that if I were an editor, I’d cut.
Gotta love these long-winded genealogies full of names of people we don’t know or care about…
Your God is the best God. In fact, he's the only God. All other Gods are ridiculous, made up rubbish. Not yours though. Yours is real.😆
Lol, I caught that.
The bible has less consistency than Star Trek.
WAY less consistency, and Star Trek has much more interesting characters
@@MBAinternetmktg 😃
Klingons also display way more empathy and humanity than Jehovah or Yahweh or whatever they choose to designate their sky daddy .
@@joemcghee2364 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Gripen Draken 😂😂😂😂
I always click immediately, when a new episode comes up - the only reason, why I do not watch them life is, that I enjoy to stop them at certain points so much - in this case, at the wonderfully abstruse family tree, which I wanted to study carefully before continuing your great content and comments. Thank you!
All hail Hemant!!! The only person who can make biblical genealogies amusing and interesting. If someone had told me years ago that I would enjoy and actually look forward to Bible readings I'd have thought they had rocks in their head. :D
This is a total hoot! -- even the genealogies. The Bible is so ridiculous. Thoroughly enjoying this. What a pity those drop-dead boring scripture classes at school were not like this.
Thank you Hemant.
Thank you for doing this series. I have never had a secular bible study before and this is has been awesome to listen too so far. Whenever i get close to catch up i wait till you post more so i don't run out.
This was always one of my favorite bible chapters. Your reading was absolutely stirring.
"Joe Bob" gave me a giggle.
Everyone: All hail King Joe Bob!
King Joe Bob: I’ll tell you what.
The Bible is sooo... boring, but I like listening to You read it (and pick on it) lol
2:44 I was expecting a rib joke and was severely disappointed...
Interesting that many of these "cities" have never been located.
Lets assume there has been a lot of sand shifting, interesting the few that have been investigated, some thought that some are under seas and rivers that have changed over time.
They got renamed
These "cities" were nothing but a bunch of tents around a water hole.
I really love your presentation on Genesis.
How did you calculate the age of the earth?
We counted all people from the bible and their age and added it all up.
That's almost scientific...
Archie Fitzpatrick I’m confused. What do you mean by BORN white. Is there any other way to be white?
@@parkb5320 😂
Parkdb5..Ask Michael Jackson 😂😂
Ah yes, this totally sounds holy and written by a perfect Omni everything being type. Like totally.
Hemant, love the background music; it this new?
Nothing proves the evolution of life on our planet more that the book you are currently reading!
Stay safe, healthy & sane, Kenny from Philly
I didn't think anyone could come close to the DarkMatter2525 take on spoofing the biblical accounts but you have come damn close.
I really hope we don't get a genealogy quiz.
Well, that's a scary thought. 😳
Who was Izbah the son of? 1) Rimah 2) Zimah 3) Thimah
Now I'm picturing Tormund Giantsbane every time you mention Esau, LOL.
I need more geneology... Hemet, you read my mind
@Archie Fitzpatrick You were the first man born without a brain
@@purplekitten6637 OHHHHH
These were the sons of Shlomo: Gummo, Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Zeppo. These were the sons of Morty: Shemp, Moe, Larry, and Curley.
Garry - But where do Flopsey, Mopsey, and Cottontail fit in?
really enjoy your channel.cant wait for the next one to come out.
The problem with the Biblical Cinematic Universe is that Tom Hiddleston isn't playing Esau. If he was playing Esau and Chris Hemsworth was playing Jacob, Esau would have most of the fangirls, and Taika Waititi would have to be hired to nerf Esau's character so slightly more of the fans would start giving a crap about Jacob. ;-D
7:55 Omg are there any DAUGHTERS in their family?
How they even able to consistently produce only males?????
Brilliant work,keep it up. Please
I hope you read the whole bible. would be great. ten thumbs up
next chapter is going to be a good one, starring Onan the Arbarian
Ten thumbs up for 1,200 videos? Seems a bit unfair on Hemant...
It’s like asking him to read Moby Dick 9 times and pause of pass comment every paragraph and then edit it all.
I hope he reads the Torah and then moves onto the Gospels and maybe picks a few others like Job, Revelations or Paul’s Letters to Timothy.
It might be better for him to abandon this format and do it as an audiobook/podcast type thing so that he doesn’t have to stop and start so much.
Wow, that was boring.
Wait until Hemant gets to Numbers...
Michael Hohner oh boy
@@perspektive42
More like Leviticus or the parts with Exodus that deals with constructing the tabernacle. Numbers at least for the first half is also boring, it's not until the Israelites resume their journey that it starts getting interesting.
@Archie Fitzpatrick white? What do mean hes an albino? Hahahahha
ruclips.net/video/IRkrSBbrpqQ/видео.html
You know what the bible doesn't have enough of?? Geneology. I love how occasionally it just throws a random "fact" in between all the names being spouted (as in the case of the hotsprings). These passages are like reading one of those really bad fantasy novels where the writer just adds as many fantasy sounding names into the mix that are impossible to remember and you have to keep referring back to previous chapters to remember who they were.
The bible is not that party, but it's the next year when you visit your great-aunt and all these people and their children and colleagues are mentioned again.
Zepho sounded like a nice bloke that deserves his spinoff. Sounds like a character Douglas Adams would have picked...
Or a Marx brother.
@@danacampbell8331 Damn, you beat me to it.
Awwww you took the time out make a whole video about this chapter in the bible. You must really love God
Did your slavemaster order you to whrite that?
@@youtubestudiosucks978 cool story bro
These are consistently excellent and entertaining! Hemant, do you plan to move onto Exodus when you finish here? Heck, I would listen to you read Everything Wrong with Leviticus and Deuteronomy, although I think we can skip over Numbers, the "Book of Swiving." 😁🤣
"Be fruitful and multiply" Well they got the "multiply" part down, now how about being "fruitful"?
Fruitful: Producing good or helpful results; productive.
Love your content! A tiny correction here-i checked 1 Ch and it says “BY Timna,” meaning Eliphaz had 5 sons with an unnamed woman and then “by Timna,” had one more.
As a very conservative Christian, I have been following this from the beginning. It is a common jest that the greatest difficulties while reading the Bible are lists of genealogies, lists of offerings, other lists, and the books of Leviticus (the enumeration of thr offerings, the dietary restrictions, and other sundry laws regarding Jewish life) and Deuteronomy (a recitation of the various laws without a recitation of the offerings).
Personally, I believe this list might exist to give context to Numbers 20:14. If Edom were a newly reconstituted kingdom the prior having collapsed 50-100 years prior, it could explain why they were reluctant to allow Israel to cross their lands but did not attack them as the Ammorites did.
What lust? you mean just?
@@danacampbell8331 list
@@danacampbell8331 😳
@@danacampbell8331, thank you for the catch. My single complaint about commenting on RUclips from my phone are the plethora of spelling errors that afflict my writing, regardless of my thorough editing beforehand.
@@LarryThePhotoGuy list or just, but never lust!!
Amalek (5 minutes mark) is kinda worth remembering and noting here in terms of the Amalekites who become the Israelite's worst enemies. Some Jewish people associate Amalek with atheism as a rejection of / enemies to God. Apparently the Amalekites attacked and nearly destroyed the israelite son their wanderings in tehdesert and the Israelites were then commanded to massacre them. Wikipedia has a good bit of extar info that isn't in the Christian Bible (but may be inthe Torah /Talmud?) :
"According to a midrash, Amalek's mother Timna was a princess who had tried to convert to Judaism but had been rejected by Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. She replied she would rather be a handmaiden to the dregs of this nation then be the mistress of another Nation; to punish the Patriarchs for the affront they had made her, she was made the mother of Amalek which would cause Israel much distress.[24][25]
According to the Midrash, the Amalekites were sorcerers who could transform themselves to resemble animals, in order to avoid capture. Thus, in 1 Samuel 15:3, it was considered necessary to destroy the livestock in order to destroy Amalek.[26]
In Judaism, the Amalekites came to represent the archetypal enemy of the Jews. In Jewish folklore the Amalekites are considered to be the symbol of evil.
Nur Masalha, Elliot Horowitz and Josef Stern suggest that Amalekites have come to represent an "eternally irreconcilable enemy" that wants to murder Jews, and that Jews in post-biblical times sometimes associate contemporary enemies with Haman or Amalekites, and that some Jews believe that pre-emptive violence is acceptable against such enemies.[27] Groups identified with Amalek include the Romans, Nazis, Stalinists, and bellicose Iranian leaders such as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.[28]
More metaphorically, to some Hasidic rabbis (particularly the Baal Shem Tov), Amalek represents atheism or the rejection of God.
During the Purim festival, the Book of Esther is read in the commemoration of the saving of the Jewish people from Haman (considered to be an Amalekite) who leads a plot to kill the Jews. On the basis of Exodus 17:14, where the Lord promised to "blot out the name" of Amalek, it is customary for the audience to make noise and shout whenever "Haman" is mentioned, in order to desecrate his name. .." -Wikipedia Amalek page.
@@harveywabbit9541 Copper = electricity= quite nicely getting the odd sacrificed cooked even in rain !
Given the effective imbalance between the faiths of the near middle east (fertile crescent) over the occupation of historically the best land, will there ever be anything like peace in that area.
I was expecting Harpo Chico Zeppo and Groucho on that list of Esau grandsons.
😆😆
And hewie, dewie, lewie...
And Gummo. The one who doesn’t get a mention because his mother was a Cananite slave.
And Zorro
Right now I have so many people trying to convince me that I was never a true Christian in the first place and that I have a demon in me and when I tried to explain the story of Adam and Eve and Cain and Abel and how when Cain kills Abel he finds a wife when there is no one around for him to find a wife and they try to say well he married his sister and I'm like there was no mention of a sister yet well maybe he took a bone and did what he did with Eve well it doesn't say that either so it just blows my mind how they they just can't get past that right there that they can't see then go wait a minute that is a problem how could Cain find a wife when there's no one else around
Cain married his sister Adam had other sons and daughters, Genesis 5:4
@@kingsolomon7553 wrong it doesn't say he married his sister the other sons and daughters came after Kane left so no he didn't marry his sister or anything like that he was already out of the picture by the time Adam had other kids you need to read your history betterI'm sick and tired of people trying to assume that he married his sister or anything of that nature when it doesn't say that stop putting words in the Bible that does not fit to fit your narrative if it doesn't say it in the Bible therefore it did not happen according to the Bible after Cain killed Abel he ran off and found a wife that's what it says it does not say he married his sister it does not say anything other than he ran off and found a wife there was no one else for him to find there was only four people there supposedly you kill one that makes three how do you get five out of that
@@tonybowen7389 Cain did one of two things, either he went to the land of Nod where there were other beings and married one of them, or he married one of his sisters like what Abraham did then went to the land of Nod, the Bible can't give you every single detail of what happened, it would be too much to write.
@@kingsolomon7553 again this is where you're wrong the Bible was very clear Adam and Eve were the very first people around so when Cain killed Abel that only left three people left there was no one else for Cain to go to to find a wife. You can't say anything else after that he didn't go denied and find a wife because there was no one else there to find a wife for him see either way you look at it the Bible contradicts itself either there was people before Adam and Eve or there wasn't either the Bible's lying and saying that Adam and Eve was the very first humans or the Bible's lying and they weren't the first humans and there was other people there and they just want us to believe that they were the first human so either way you look at is a contradiction and it's a lie there's no possibility for Kane to have found a wife if there's no one else around like the Bible says for him to find after king killed Abel he ran off to nod to find a wife how is that possible there was no one else there no one around you need to look at the historical evidence of the Bible page by Page and not cherry pick what you want to say fits your narrative like I said before you are misreading what the Bible is saying you're taking things out of contextthat's not how you read the Bible you don't read or study like that you read it in terror in the whole entirety of the book from front to back then you look at other resources and other books that can verify the one that you're looking at and then you look at historical evidence that proves that as well and then when you have all of the evidence and piled together and you look at all of that then you can come up with a plausible possibility in this case you don't have that okay the Bible says Adam and Eve were first then came and Abel Cain kills Abel that only leaves three people then he runs off and finds a wife how is that possible when the Bible is very clear when there's only four people on the whole face of the planet at that time so for him to run off to nod to find a wife is it in possibility there would have been no one there for him to find
@@kingsolomon7553 no matter how you want to look at this the Bible lied straight up either way you look at it that's a lot either the Bible lied and said Adam and Eve were the first people on the face of the planet or it lied and there were other people and it just wanted you to make it seem like Adam and Eve were the first people so which one do you want to uncover first which lie the Bible says Adam and Eve are the first humans or that it lied saying that nobody else was around so tell me which one do you want to unpack first which lie
i wonder why we barely read the bible in sunday school
oh...
right...
The bible has sooooo many characters, most of which have no character or defined personality at all. Not even the main characters are written well.
It kills me when people act like the bible is some great piece of literature. It fails even there
I do think it has some cool science fiction storylines, lots of it is just retelling even older stories (Noah=Gilgamesj)...
@@marcdecock7946 yeah telling other stories but altered heavily. I prefer to read Gilgamesh, or Sargon of Akkad(who Moses is based on)
@@gengdragon-1988 Thanks for the hint on Moses, I though jesus also had some similarities with Horus from the Egyptians, and it seems they added details along the line to make the figure even more impressive as a miracle-maker.
Gen 1 is good poetry and not far off the general overview of science of the bringing about of the universe - more so than other creation stories in other cultures.
@@highpath4776 how so? What about the genesis accounts is in line with science?
Thank you for making this drivel at least somewhat entertaining.
There’s a hoarite in this house
There’s a hoarite in this house
There’s a hoarite in this house
There are so many tribes in the area, you wouldn't believe it wasn't that long ago it was all under water.
Yes!!!! Another episode!!! Love your shoes and keep up the great work.
This strikes me as a few king lists mentioned during a meeting or something.
It is at this point in your Genesis videos, where I am getting bored listening to the lineages, that I just noticed the music. Has there been music in all of them?
Ok now I’m convinced that you’re just reading random dictionary words
The desert can be cold at night, in this case, hot springs can be useful.
Ah, handy. Do we know of any, there are some where sulfur and low level magma close to earths surface warms the area , think in sinai.
The department of Redundancy department 😂😂
Just riveting storytelling!
DID I REALLY LISTEN TO THIS WHOLE VIDEO! WOW!!!
3:30 "How does a concubine get added to a family tree?"
Involuntarily.
I don‘t see any contradiction in these family trees. Just fill in lots of juicy incest, which is comon practise in the bible, and one will see why someone can be brother and son in the same time.
Also: Yeah the biblical pokérap part two. Gotta catch them all!
9:05 King Joe Bob? Did the land of Canaan have trailer parks?
That was before the tornado.
Is it just me or would this chapter make a good rap song? 🤔
Eliphaz sounds like Elephant when you're half awake and crashing from coffee. 😂😂
This chapter is like the 1000 word essay you had to write about something and could only manage to write two actual lines so you padded it out with any names you could think of with some tenuous link to the original subject.
I suspect a lot of these were common names. "Yeshua" was pretty common, I'm told. Also, some might have been named after relatives.
@Archie Fitzpatrick As in Albino?
🤪🤯 how did they keep all these names straight. 😂
I'm very impressed with the host reciting all those biblical names.
He loved the playgrounds when he was a kid.
“Jacob, have you seen your brother lately?”
“Yes mom, Isau Esau sitting on a see-sau”.
Hooray! More Genealogy!
The sons of Samuel: Mannie, Chico, Harpo, Groucho, Gummo and Zeppo. But Samuels firstborn, Mannie, died in infancy.
Be VERY grateful that they didn't start naming all the names of the livestock...
I tried to read all those name and accidentally summoned a demon 💀
I don’t even want to know how much the college tuition it totaled yikes 😬
“I’m fine with it” 😆
Special mention to a guy called Archie, who either
1. wrote a very slow script to reply to all that esau was the first man born white
2. manually went through all the comments and added this
I would love to hear the story of Lilith, Adams first wife, I already can imagine how much i will laugh:)
Spoiler alert, Jacob ends up killing his brother.... you make reading this book much more enjoyable to get thru too. It makes you wonder who got to write this part too?
This made me think of Goodfellas. You know the scene at the wedding where Paulie is introducing the bride to the grooms family.
Me during the previous episode: I can't keep track of all these different characters...
This episode: ..... I... can't...
Mind, to the people who put this thing together, you MIGHT want to pull a modern technique called "cross-referencing", because even Jesus' genealogies aren't straight. he's got two: one in Matthew, one in Luke, and they have different people in them. Mind, the Torah sources were all written t different times, but CHECK YOUR SOURCES.
The idea that the Canaanites' religion was a fertility cult kinda explains the heavy focus on baby-making, genealogy, and sex in the bible. There's a baby-birthing competition in Genesis, for Pete's sake; something's going on here.
I'll be honest i didn't really pay that much attention. Will this be on the test?
Joel - 😄😄 Just remember that the answer to anything is quartz.
With every chapter read I have less and less respect for people who take the Bible literally...and we have t even finished Genesis.
More that they pick the bit that satisfies their own view, rather than alternative opposite that can often be found.
At least you made this chapter interesting.
Why do people insist on treating a collection of works of fiction written over hundreds of years as historical records?
Because it's got the instructions on how to get to heaven,
8:42 is another possible redaction of the genesis (that's supposed to be written by moses) as there was no king reigned until the first book of samuel.
y bibe is such a boring book .....
there are no good stories or something to learn just family trees,,,
what should we learn from that book ....
god had serious problem with remembering things....
he can't even predict what's happening in this own garden when satan came and playing with his creations(adam and eve)...
After everything wrong with genesis. Will you do the next book in OT? And you should do movie of this.
I got another bible ad before the video.