Top Gear German WW2 Jokes

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  • Опубликовано: 14 янв 2025

Комментарии • 260

  • @mikedawolf95
    @mikedawolf95 9 месяцев назад +787

    -Never ask a woman her age
    -Never ask a man his salary
    -Never ask a German company what they did between 1933-1945

    • @SurvivebritanicII
      @SurvivebritanicII 9 месяцев назад +18

      Never ask any German about those years

    • @top_banananaplays
      @top_banananaplays 9 месяцев назад +14

      Don't mention ze war!

    • @Special_Agent_Frank_Horrigan
      @Special_Agent_Frank_Horrigan 9 месяцев назад +1

      They made artillery ammunition

    • @gooddypm
      @gooddypm 9 месяцев назад +5

      @@top_banananaplaysI mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it. 🤕

    • @CZghost
      @CZghost 9 месяцев назад

      @@gooddypm With just a bruise I suppose, right? :D

  • @TheAtlantaRailfan
    @TheAtlantaRailfan 2 года назад +2730

    "take the third Reich" has me dying with laughter

    • @AnthonyParrilloRI
      @AnthonyParrilloRI 2 года назад +9

      Same here hahaha

    • @Fuall-666
      @Fuall-666 2 года назад +31

      She's essentially saying," you have gave me the child now get in the back."

    • @F1_Gianni_96
      @F1_Gianni_96 Год назад +2

      Me to

    • @mooneyes2k478
      @mooneyes2k478 Год назад +9

      The golden part of it is Hammond's "...ow!"

    • @sovetski8893
      @sovetski8893 Год назад

      Dude me too 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @jdapaul1351
    @jdapaul1351 Год назад +778

    Jeremy's VW Scirocco ad should've been here. "Berlin to Warsaw in one tank."

  • @jamesgroccia644
    @jamesgroccia644 3 года назад +1395

    “It’s got too much power, they’ve overdone it.
    Like when they went on their French holiday, 1939”

    • @romainsavioz5466
      @romainsavioz5466 2 года назад +40

      James the Queen is German but you don't sing deutschland deutschland uber allies any time she comes on the television do you

    • @adambros5572
      @adambros5572 2 года назад +21

      @@romainsavioz5466 yh I do actually
      Hammond: he does

    • @ph89787
      @ph89787 Год назад +14

      @@romainsavioz5466 then the Japanese decided to gate crash the US’s Christmas holiday in Hawaii.

    • @brandonturner8302
      @brandonturner8302 Год назад

      What episode was that one?

    • @dogsbd
      @dogsbd 10 месяцев назад +31

      I can't believe May got that wrong, it was 1940.

  • @lyonvensa
    @lyonvensa Год назад +651

    There's one more in that episode where the Top Gear team competes with a group of German motorists where Jeremy said along the lines of "They want us to find a place to do the competition, and I suggested the skies above the English channel"

    • @wjmcd703
      @wjmcd703 Год назад +44

      He actually said that he suggested the skies over southern England

    • @aerogfs
      @aerogfs Год назад +11

      They came prepared with Spitfires...

    • @dougearnest7590
      @dougearnest7590 9 месяцев назад +3

      That could work - if they brought in some Polish ringers.

    • @agent1018
      @agent1018 9 месяцев назад +2

      IN THE SKIES ABOVE THE ISLE, ACES IN EXHILE PREVAIL

  • @reshmapatel325
    @reshmapatel325 Год назад +723

    Jeremy does the best German accent better than a German. Jeremy is great with accents

    • @S500-
      @S500- Год назад +3

      Yes you Right, By the way Where you Live Im Just Curious ?

    • @Arsenic71
      @Arsenic71 10 месяцев назад +9

      Being German I can do ze German accent as well, but yes, Jeremy just does it so well with the mixture of German words with accent and English - it's just the perfect mix. I could probably do something similar but then again, I've lived in the UK for over a decade so I know both sides.

  • @wjmcd703
    @wjmcd703 2 года назад +984

    I love that Jeremy denies calling bus drivers nazis, when it sounds like something he would say

    • @anonymouswhite352
      @anonymouswhite352 2 года назад +30

      Well he didn't

    • @BeKindToBirds
      @BeKindToBirds Год назад +23

      I am dying over the correction lmao

    • @lyonvensa
      @lyonvensa Год назад +6

      Pretty sure it's James that actually said that during the Cross London race lol

    • @peterrraklliproductions2020
      @peterrraklliproductions2020 Год назад +49

      Well, he didn’t. He said they were little Hitlers and murderers!

    • @lolickypeepee23xdd6
      @lolickypeepee23xdd6 Год назад +1

      it is but i dont recall if he ever directly said it- now, he did commonly call them murderers/hitlers for obvious reasons

  • @applejuice5272
    @applejuice5272 2 года назад +229

    "You're not being filmed, so you can have a joint."

  • @johnnyrats7083
    @johnnyrats7083 Год назад +279

    A sat nav that only goes to Poland is legendary

    • @hydro9634
      @hydro9634 10 месяцев назад +2

      that's hilarious I don't get what he said after that tho because the accent was that good

    • @shugo541
      @shugo541 9 месяцев назад +4

      @@hydro9634a fine fanbelt that will last a thousand years

    • @hydro9634
      @hydro9634 9 месяцев назад

      @@shugo541 I get that because Hitler said that he would have an a thousand year reich that's brilliant

    • @Old-Bald-and-Grumpy
      @Old-Bald-and-Grumpy 9 месяцев назад

      There was another good one with Jezza making VW Polo advert: To Warsaw in one tank!

  • @sirajalden4453
    @sirajalden4453 Год назад +87

    "engineered by a man called ulrich eichhorb" always gets me, even after all these years

  • @grdimajmun
    @grdimajmun 2 года назад +242

    "Little Hitlers and murderers" I'm dying!!!!!

    • @melchiorvonsternberg844
      @melchiorvonsternberg844 9 месяцев назад +3

      Ever ride on a bus in Portugal? You're literally wearing your shroud...

  • @Arsenic71
    @Arsenic71 10 месяцев назад +79

    I am German and I find the trios' Germany jokes totally hilarious and extremely funny. Why would I feel offended? Instead I'm happy they mention my country at all and they do it in a truly (and innocent) way.

    • @FairyRat
      @FairyRat 9 месяцев назад +9

      Your country's past truly is something. But at least its present ain't as shit as mine's (Russia...).

  • @brendanmatelan2129
    @brendanmatelan2129 Год назад +69

    “A Sat Nav that only goes to Poland. WOAHHH!” My favorite joke!

  • @DasMonke
    @DasMonke 9 месяцев назад +26

    0:28 why is that guy frozen in the back 😂

  • @iiskull5354
    @iiskull5354 Год назад +58

    The fact he does the salute while wearing a poppy

    • @lzh4950
      @lzh4950 11 месяцев назад +3

      Poppy? The Chinese: _Flashbacks to The Opium War_

    • @AhDollar
      @AhDollar 4 месяца назад +1

      that's him doing hand signals

  • @gg2324
    @gg2324 Год назад +50

    There is also the roadworks episode (series 8 or 9) when may shouts "work sets you free" through a megaphone to clarkson when he was napping

  • @jonnnyren6245
    @jonnnyren6245 Год назад +85

    Oh come on we all know the story of how Viscount May of Hammersmith and 55 RAF or the Hammersmith Cockerspaniels assisted the Duke of Hammond during the North Africa campaign of 1943!
    They both ended up defeating the Commander of the Gorilla Regiment in El Alamein and he retreated back to Stuttgart to rearm.
    In 1944 the Viscount had a rematch with Reichsmarschall von Clarkson and he shot him down over Calais during the D-Day landings.
    The Viscount May won the Victoria Cross for getting 6 enemy kills with a damaged wing and managed to return home.

    • @peterrraklliproductions2020
      @peterrraklliproductions2020 Год назад

      Before North Africa, the Viscount May was going to lead “Operation Pillock,”where a bunch of Lancaster Bombers would bomb the Nurburgring. But, unfortunately, the plan was shelved and the Viscount May was sent to North Africa.

  • @simonkevnorris
    @simonkevnorris Год назад +25

    The French Holiday started in May 1940 when the landed forces went through Sedan (again, like 1870) sneakily by-passing the Maginot Line.

  • @cpresuttis
    @cpresuttis 2 года назад +60

    The fan belts will last for a thousand years lol

  • @UbiMortus
    @UbiMortus 11 месяцев назад +39

    Ahh, the days when you could have such humor on the TV are long gone... What? it's only been like 10 years?

  • @ultrajd
    @ultrajd 2 года назад +64

    Back when Top Gear mattered

    • @B-A-L
      @B-A-L 9 месяцев назад +6

      When Top Gear was funny.

  • @MTLoveridge
    @MTLoveridge Год назад +48

    1:34 Hammond's face after that

    • @dogsbd
      @dogsbd 10 месяцев назад +5

      Because Hammond, being smarter than he acts, knew that May had messed up since Germany had actually invaded France in 1940. ;)

  • @a.jlewissonicski5278
    @a.jlewissonicski5278 2 года назад +117

    Hammond: Jeremy didn’t you recently call bus drivers Nazis!

  • @tavish4699
    @tavish4699 2 года назад +50

    ze germans will hear about zis!

  • @mundee95
    @mundee95 3 года назад +203

    Way back, before the Twitter nation attacked

    • @cheapautomobilityproductio745
      @cheapautomobilityproductio745 3 года назад +8

      Oh god please, I hate those feminist fokks...

    • @palpatinethesenatehog7086
      @palpatinethesenatehog7086 3 года назад +32

      Twitter, you will never find a more wretched hive of scam and villainy.

    • @cheapautomobilityproductio745
      @cheapautomobilityproductio745 3 года назад +19

      Twitter, the place where everyone's hated except "celebrities"

    • @stunseedordeesnuts
      @stunseedordeesnuts 2 года назад +9

      @@cheapautomobilityproductio745 oh "celebrities" do definitely get hated on there

    • @dafoex
      @dafoex Год назад +3

      "You can't make jokes like that you'll offend someone!"
      What? Like Grandpa Adi from Argentina? Last time I checked we were all quite happy about mocking actual Nazis.

  • @Thegrimreaper4lyfe
    @Thegrimreaper4lyfe Год назад +34

    A SatNav that only goes to Poland 😂😂

  • @thagerman8361
    @thagerman8361 2 года назад +35

    Legendär.

  • @andrerenault
    @andrerenault Год назад +31

    I feel like this should’ve been much longer than 2 minutes

    • @markcf83
      @markcf83 Год назад

      I agree. It could have been two hours......

    • @leifvejby8023
      @leifvejby8023 9 месяцев назад

      Maybe they just collected the nicest of the jokes

  • @Thule21
    @Thule21 9 месяцев назад +5

    "... they overdone it, as usual. What they did on their _french holiday in 1939."_
    I can't....🤣🤣🤣

    • @o-hogameplay185
      @o-hogameplay185 4 месяца назад

      as someone who studied german for years in school, their language is a perfect example for that

  • @michaelwoolaver6113
    @michaelwoolaver6113 Год назад +6

    And now for the 2024 British Leyland line.

  • @bobmcgod5214
    @bobmcgod5214 3 года назад +112

    F***ing hilarious😂😂😂😂
    Top Gear is such a banger.
    I'm British, my satnav only goes to small islands....

    • @Alex_K221
      @Alex_K221 3 года назад +21

      I’m American and my sat nav only goes to places with Oil. Dreadfully inconvenient.

    • @emiliospowerballer1441
      @emiliospowerballer1441 3 года назад +3

      Australia and Africa are not small islands okay?

    • @bobmcgod5214
      @bobmcgod5214 3 года назад +7

      @@emiliospowerballer1441 🤦‍♂️ The point was places like Cayman, Virgin Islands, Falklands, South Georgia etc. Joke over the head....

    • @emiliospowerballer1441
      @emiliospowerballer1441 3 года назад +2

      @@bobmcgod5214 I understood the joke m8 don't worry, my country fits that description as well ...

    • @bobmcgod5214
      @bobmcgod5214 3 года назад

      @@emiliospowerballer1441 ok, sorry

  • @richardgadberry8398
    @richardgadberry8398 7 месяцев назад +2

    "When in doubt, use the War."--Clarksonius.

  • @jasonnewman1118
    @jasonnewman1118 27 дней назад

    Take the third Reich is the best ever joke top gear ever pulled. James absolutely nailed it. The timing, the tone. The delivery it was brilliant.

  • @elgris453
    @elgris453 8 месяцев назад +2

    Never ask a woman her age.
    A man his salary.
    An Argentinian his SS rank

  • @ThunderCookie23
    @ThunderCookie23 Месяц назад +4

    NPC woman in the back at 0:27

  • @nodafy
    @nodafy 8 месяцев назад +2

    0:27
    Some say that guy behind James is still smiling to this day

  • @arrozal5717
    @arrozal5717 9 месяцев назад +4

    I am german and i approve this

  • @junkim2789
    @junkim2789 2 месяца назад

    1:00 James May, the most interesting person in the world indeed

  • @JustDevon1
    @JustDevon1 6 месяцев назад +1

    “Take the Third Reich” Has to be the funniest shit that has ever been said on the show

  • @mrchambers31
    @mrchambers31 9 месяцев назад +1

    0:28 Nobody mentions the creepy guy to James's right

  • @RevsAndWheels
    @RevsAndWheels 10 месяцев назад +4

    Jeremy: James the queen is German, but you don't sing Deutschland Deutschland Über alles everytime she comes on television, do you?
    James: I do..

  • @JesseThomson-zb9nl
    @JesseThomson-zb9nl 11 месяцев назад +3

    Hammond likes the Porsche 911 but I prefer the Porsche tiger

  • @anthonystorey2953
    @anthonystorey2953 9 месяцев назад +2

    Fiddle de de ,in the words of Basil Fawlty " you started it " 😂

    • @Ollie.H-23
      @Ollie.H-23 5 месяцев назад

      "We did not start it."
      "Yes you did, you invaded Poland."

  • @kelvin8369
    @kelvin8369 Год назад +9

    They always get me, never get old 🤣

  • @EAWanderer
    @EAWanderer 2 года назад +16

    Lol - Favourite jokes
    This really is Black comedy for you 🤣
    0:03
    0:38
    01:00

  • @ultimategmoneyremaber1821
    @ultimategmoneyremaber1821 2 года назад +30

    The queen is German

    • @applejuice5272
      @applejuice5272 2 года назад +1

      Not any more

    • @taffingtonboathouse5754
      @taffingtonboathouse5754 2 года назад

      Rip liz

    • @swaticamecho698
      @swaticamecho698 Год назад +1

      *was

    • @melchiorvonsternberg844
      @melchiorvonsternberg844 9 месяцев назад +2

      Well... In fact, with the death of the queen, leaderership of the German royal house of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha ended. But since the line is always passed on from the male side, thanks to Prince Philip, the German house of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg is now the princely line that continues to lead England. And that for at least the next 3 kings. Just as Queen Victoria always wanted...

  • @georgemitchell9696
    @georgemitchell9696 9 месяцев назад +1

    British humor is unique.

  • @philsimpson3556
    @philsimpson3556 11 месяцев назад +6

    Absolutely side splitting. They wouldn't be allowed to joke like that today. Such a shame.

  • @RyanMiahH
    @RyanMiahH 18 дней назад

    He's one of the funniest guys on TV

  • @shevetlevi2821
    @shevetlevi2821 11 месяцев назад +1

    Sometimes they actually sound like Monty Python.

  • @goblin7404
    @goblin7404 3 года назад +17

    0:43

  • @tristanwhite3472
    @tristanwhite3472 11 дней назад

    They Hate bus drivers too.

  • @dudeitswillis
    @dudeitswillis Месяц назад

    1:27 😂😂😂😂

  • @craigoOZ
    @craigoOZ 9 месяцев назад

    love it, keep it up!

  • @ChrisSmith74627
    @ChrisSmith74627 Год назад +39

    Back when humour was legal and not destroyed by the morality police

    • @automation7295
      @automation7295 Год назад

      Humour is still legal, just idiots and fucking woke motherfuckers rained them.

  • @stephenhowell5611
    @stephenhowell5611 9 месяцев назад

    All the european royals are related, Lizzies line went back to Eleanor of Aquitaine, Richard I the Lionhearts mum.

  • @ChequeTwice
    @ChequeTwice Год назад +5

    Cooler 8 veeks…

  • @GoodMornin2234
    @GoodMornin2234 2 года назад +10

    and people say germans are not funny💀

    • @INTERVC-n3r
      @INTERVC-n3r 10 месяцев назад

      My boy went from a normal Host to a Guy that Is making Penguin signals

  • @SF-pq3sq
    @SF-pq3sq 11 месяцев назад +1

    So wrong bu very right😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @birdandcatlover5597
    @birdandcatlover5597 2 месяца назад

    Im kinda surprised he knows any Ranmstein songs, idk why

  • @declanhandley-byrne4335
    @declanhandley-byrne4335 2 месяца назад

    To this day, "take the third reich" is still the funniest thing James has ever said in my opinion

  • @kennethr2525
    @kennethr2525 Год назад +3

    How did James may get year of the german french holiday wrong 1940

    • @melchiorvonsternberg844
      @melchiorvonsternberg844 9 месяцев назад

      To be fair... The frogs tried to have a good time in Germany in 1939. But they stopped, a few miles behind the borders and left after a while, without partyin'. So we had to make a visit to them, a year later. Remember... We didn't finish the tour of 1914... And there was a need for a 2nd leg...

  • @TheDeathMedic
    @TheDeathMedic 3 года назад +22

    Based

  • @dannyjay4213
    @dannyjay4213 Год назад +7

    The french holiday was in 1940

  • @nicoc6387
    @nicoc6387 10 месяцев назад

    Laugh? I almost did.

  • @greypilgrim9967
    @greypilgrim9967 7 месяцев назад

    I missTop Gear

  • @nightlight1709
    @nightlight1709 6 месяцев назад

    Classic Top Gear (Jeremy James and Richard) is the best Show in all of television history

  • @zehnerdygamer3329
    @zehnerdygamer3329 Год назад

    MSU fan checking in

  • @EATSLEEPDRIVE2002
    @EATSLEEPDRIVE2002 9 месяцев назад +1

    Some people probably will
    Nazi the humor in this

  • @DubioserAltschauerberger1510
    @DubioserAltschauerberger1510 7 месяцев назад

    James May's Overdone sums up pretty accurate German and non German engineering nowadays. All that electric crap with 800hp with 300mph of range and the sound of an elevator

  • @marko7843
    @marko7843 4 месяца назад

    I guess they never showed Hogan's Heroes in England... Fat ass General Burkhalter always arrived in one of those six wheel Mercedes.
    (Strangely though, it was only a 4x6, the front wheels weren't driven.)

  • @danieldravot341
    @danieldravot341 7 месяцев назад

    When you take your hands off the wheel of a German car it heads a for the French border.

  • @miesepeter1371
    @miesepeter1371 9 месяцев назад

    That's why I like the British humour. Greeting from Gerrrrmany.

  • @libertyvilleguy2903
    @libertyvilleguy2903 9 месяцев назад +1

    This is a perfect example of why the British version of Top Gear was exceptional, and the American version stunk (I’m American, by the way). This kind of clever, funny humor would have never been acceptable to an American audience, let alone an American production company.

  • @rexbarron4873
    @rexbarron4873 10 месяцев назад +3

    It wsa amusing then but now that we are an isolated little island going broke it's not so funny.

  • @TheArtvandelay
    @TheArtvandelay 4 месяца назад

    Don't mention the war!

  • @bartsolari5035
    @bartsolari5035 10 месяцев назад +1

    try Stalin for size

  • @nickydaroblox41
    @nickydaroblox41 21 день назад

    “Take the third reich” 😂😂😂

  • @AzlanAhmed-ts5il
    @AzlanAhmed-ts5il 9 месяцев назад

    Ulrich eichhorb 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @der_pinguin44
    @der_pinguin44 2 года назад +20

    Deutschland, Deutschland über alles

    • @miesepeter1371
      @miesepeter1371 9 месяцев назад

      Von Hoffmann von Fallersleben. Es war eine Aufforderung, die da noch vorhandene Kleinstaaterei zu überwinden und entlich einen Nationalstaat zu gründen.

  • @ronaldvandermerwe4957
    @ronaldvandermerwe4957 9 месяцев назад

    Hitler's car 0:56

  • @paulcowlishaw
    @paulcowlishaw Год назад +1

    So sick.

  • @doctorbohr1585
    @doctorbohr1585 3 месяца назад

    Whatever you do, dont mention the war.

  • @the_real_inquisitor
    @the_real_inquisitor Год назад

    That shit is funny xD

  • @prophetsnake
    @prophetsnake 11 месяцев назад

    What, no famine jokes? Tch tch.

  • @shankarbalakrishnan2360
    @shankarbalakrishnan2360 8 месяцев назад

    ❤❤🎉🎉

  • @dafoex
    @dafoex Год назад +7

    Why is it we aren't allowed to make jokes like this anymore? Are we really worried about making fun of actual Nazis? Are we worried we'll offend Opa Adi in Argentina?

    • @dougearnest7590
      @dougearnest7590 9 месяцев назад +1

      No, the problem with making jokes about fascists/Nazis/Hitler is not because you'll offend fascists. On the contrary, that would normally be encouraged, but the problem is you might say a word that would trigger a sensitive leftist useful idiot.
      Meanwhile, you're still not allowed to say bad things about Stalin. Or the Japanese.

    • @melchiorvonsternberg844
      @melchiorvonsternberg844 9 месяцев назад

      You have no idea, how German comedians, make fun of Hitler. And that is, why these Tommy- jokes are borin' as fuck...

  • @alexchrisontour720
    @alexchrisontour720 9 месяцев назад

    Not allowed in Germany.

  • @apocalypsedude995
    @apocalypsedude995 9 месяцев назад

    1940

  • @frankstippel5988
    @frankstippel5988 10 месяцев назад

    Sis iss nod funny.

  • @EventHorizonPrdctns
    @EventHorizonPrdctns 10 месяцев назад

    Dude.
    British humor is fucking bizarre.
    🙄😒😒😒😒😒

  • @hammer-r
    @hammer-r Год назад +2

    Funny stuff especially when the car industry in England is nothing. Lol

  • @palpatinethesenatehog7086
    @palpatinethesenatehog7086 3 года назад +15

    Okay, now you're giving me reasons not to watch this show? Make up your mind, please.

  • @man_vs_life
    @man_vs_life 9 месяцев назад +1

    Wow, so staged.

  • @DavidSmith-fe2ws
    @DavidSmith-fe2ws 9 месяцев назад

    Pure English school boy crap