4 years of 24/7 dpdr
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2024
- If I remember correctly my dpdr began in December 2019 which means I’ve been experiencing derealisation and depersonalisation for over 4 years now.
It’s gotten easier to deal with as time went on however I still have my moments of deep sadness and pain as somewhat shown/explained in this video.
If you’re suffering too especially if your experience with dpdr is just starting please know it gets easier to deal with and maybe if you’re lucky/circumstances allow it, you might snap back to reality much sooner than you expect.
![Tee Grizzley - Robbery 8 [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/34_vkNV6wrU/mqdefault.jpg)
My life is so much better nowadays compared to the beginning of getting this disorder, I don’t feel like I made that clear in the video. It can and does get easier even though it’s still a living nightmare.
Looking back at the person I was even just one year ago I can see how much progress I’ve made. And three years ago I was an absolute wreck! The dpdr does get easier to deal with as time goes on.
I’m still on 30mg of Mirtazapine for those who are wondering. It still helps me eat and sleep although I have been waking up gasping at night for the last month (this used to happen pre mirtazapine and goes away for a while then comes back every year or so). Maybe that’s part of the reason why I’ve been extra depressed lately because I can’t sleep until 7am some days so my sleep schedule is so bad.
I’m still considering trying Sertraline again but I’m worried the anxiety might take over if it affects my eating or the start up period is particularly difficult. But at the same time I’m not sure meds can truly change much with my life circumstances being the way they are.
Okay I’ve rambled enough. Be cushty 💙
A 15mg dose of Mirtazapine can be used to aid sleep.
The 30mg and 45mg dosage is used to treat the mixed depression and anxiety disorders.
This dosage is also meant to encourage eating.
See your GP about lowering the dose to 15mg to aid sleep.
Just a thought !
@@robwembley I know that’s how it usually works but I never really found 15mg sedating, 30mg always worked best for sleep for me.
With the gasping, I can be very tired and ready to sleep then when I try to sleep or right as I do drift off I can’t breath and have to get up out of bed quick to get enough air and my tiredness goes away because the adrenaline takes over. Some nights it happens over and over to the point where I’m up and down 5 times and not sleeping until 7am.
I’m not even anxious when it’s happening it’s just purely adrenaline. I can never sleep on my back likely because of sleep apnea but I’m usually fine sleeping on my side and the fact that the gasping comes and goes makes me think this is something else. Maybe GERD or asthma 🤷🏻♂️
Thanks for explaining your current situation.
Do what is best for you.
You have made so much progress.
I really hope you feel the support that is out there for you.
@@rhysmentalhealth2521
@@robwembleyhonestly the support is one of the main things can keeps me going, don’t think I could have gotten to this point without it. Cheers mate 💙
Sertraline is an anti anxiety and antidepressant so hopefully it would help both x
For me i only struggle with the brain fog and intrusive thoughts stopping my life was never an option we push forward
Ive followed you for some quite some time, ive dealt with DPDR In 2 years and finally over it like it never happened, ive been exactly in your position. Ive felt hopeless and crazy but made it to the other side. Your time will come too, every will and can heal, you got this !
Thank you, I appreciate it. Gives me hope :) I’m really glad to hear you’re doing better 💙
Like it never happened lol I can't imagine it never happening
Always look forward to seeing uploads from you man! You’ve made a lot of progress, proud of you :)
Thank you so much, I appreciate it :)
Really glad you uploaded your video.
Your face has filled out significantly.
You are looking much more healthy.
Just keep on celebrating your wins.
You truly are getting there !
Feels so good that people notice the changes, it took so much effort to get here so need to try and enjoy it aha. Cheers for still being here mate 🙏🏻💙
You are giving strength to those going through a similar experience.
Just keep on being you !
@@rhysmentalhealth2521
@@rhysmentalhealth2521
You never ramble.
Just keep on sharing yourself.
You have a lot of support out there.
Be good to you always !
the thing with 24/7 is, there is no moment where you feel anything. In my case it caused me to not just be numb but 99% of the time it would numb out my anxiety and depression so there is just nothing. In my case I believe it was a thing my body produced as a defense mechanism. Before i dealt with derealization I was suicidal and I was very close in doing so but in the end i didn't do it. After I had felt a complete emotional numbness where it felt like i was dizzy while tired constantly. Now its manifested and it gets worse and worse with time and now its not numbness its just blank there is no emotion, not even with people and its completely artificial if on the very low chance I do feel something its foreign and I can get mad at myself for being like this. If you think your experiencing dpdr and need to explain it to other people I explained it to people like being nothing but your eyes and your eyes have a constant fog. If anyone can relate or if anyone believes they think they have dpdr please find a counselor or therapist. the longer you go through it without trying to fix it the longer it takes to fix. Something he talks about is not even realizing this happens and just being. Idk if any of this makes sense but please reply with any other thoughts anyone has and if you need to talk to someone who has been through this for a long time feel free to reply and we can get in contact.
One more thing I want to add is the treatment can be pretty limited for things like this. I personally don't want to take medication for this. maybe its me just being stubborn but I feel like taking a pill to deal with a problem is not the correct solution for me, because I either take it the rest of my life or I find a solution and cope on my own there is no in between for me.
You look really well Rhys. I’ve been following your journey for a while now and your an inspiration ❤
Thank you so much for being here and for the kind words 💙
Thanks for sharing, you’re definitely looking well, and it’s good to hear that you’re managing things pretty well and making progress. Hope that continues! ❤❤❤
Thank you, hope you’re doing okay? 💙
You’re giving me hope to try mirtazapine again. It helped me before. We’re rooting for you 🎉😊
Thank you, I wish you all the best 💙
Have had it for 10 years, 24/7. There was a few years i was pretty functional and it lightened up. It came back really heavy 2 years ago and stuck like that. Its so hard to stay hopeful sometimes but i try to keep going as well. Stay strong.
I commend you for surviving 10 years with this, must have taken so much willpower! Yeah we’ve just got to keep going mate, you stay strong too 👊🏻
@@rhysmentalhealth2521 thank you. You too!
Just over a month ago I had some derealisation/depersonalisation episodes that each lasted around a week. My symptoms were that all sensory stimuli was amplified to the point of been piercing and things around me seemed a bit unreal. I was also jumpy. Even the phone ringing or small sounds made me jump. But the flip side of it is that food tasted more flavourful , and touch and sensation were so enhanced that there were aspects that I enjoyed. And sometimes your disability can also be your superpower. The key is to start to enjoy the disassociation by noticing the things it makes you better at.(Not worse at) Then do more of those things. 👍
It’s crazy how these things affect individuals differently! Thank you for sharing, that’s a good point 👍🏻
It's been almost 3 years for me now i think. Taking SSRI's has helped, i was on 200mg sertraline but switching from that to venlafaxine has been even better. Although i cant seem to loose any weight no matter how much i diet and exercise at the gym i do feel much better. I think i also feel much better lately because i've kinda stoped trying to remember my old self and i've stopped wishing i could go back to my old self and i've kind of accepted that this is now who i am and i'm always going to be this way.
I’m glad that you’re feeling much better lately (although it’s frustrating about the weight). I relate to the acceptance and not comparing myself to the old me relief.
I still hope one day that we’ll find some semblance of happiness 🤞🏻
I'm sure we will dude!
@@rhysmentalhealth2521
Hello Rhys. I was just wondering if you have done a complete hormonal blood work ( Testosterone, estradiol, IGf-1, Growth hormone, ACTH, cortisol, TSH, T4, and T3 ). I asked because you mentioned osteoporosis. Which is not common for someone your age, unless you are being severely deprived of nutritiets like calcium, magnesium, and Vit-K. Which I suspect you are not , since you take meal replaceing drinks ( which have vitamins and minerals in them). So, please consider getting a complete hormone panel test, if you haven't already. An imbalance in hormones can greatly affect your mood, and mimic mental disorders.
Sorry, forgot the hormone, prolactin.
Hey, the osteoporosis is due to me being really underweight from age 11 to 23. I used to be anywhere between 95lbs to 118lbs at 6ft for years and even as a kid my bmi was 14.
I’ve had a few testosterone tests all of which come back normal. The most recent one was 16 nmol/l for test, 0.341 free test, 58.1 free androgen index, 27.7 nmol/l SHBG. Gaining weight/working out has really boosted my levels and they keep on increasing.
My TSH, T4 and T3 were all good too. But other than them tests, I haven’t had the other things tested as the provider I went with doesn’t offer them here in the UK.
I have borderline personality disorder and have experienced dissociation for most of my life. Lamotrigine has helped me more than any other medication I’ve been on, and I’ve been on pretty much every class of psychiatric medication. I take 200mg at night. Within a few weeks of taking it my anxiety, dissociation and mood were a lot better. Everyone reacts to medication differently though, so what’s helped me for dissociation might not help someone else with dissociation.
I’ve heard some good things about Lamotrigue but also bad things like it doesn’t work for long etc. How’re you doing now since it’s been 4 months since your comment? Hope you’re good :)
Hello. I’ve been on Lamotrigine for four years and it still works. People react differently, so it won’t work for some, but it’s been the most effective for treating my borderline personality disorder and dissociation/derealisation.
I am 21 and I am having 24/7 dpdr since 2021 so 3 years and I don’t know how to be back again , I smoked a lot of weed , now I am almost 2 months clean maybe it will go away some day
Could you talk more about the financial support that’s out there for those with mental health difficulties, ie disability benefits?
Will do, I’ll make a video on it soon :)
What's up, Rhys? When are you coming back to RUclips? Haven't seen you in a long time. Is everything alright?
Hey mate, I just posted a new video. I’m somewhat okay and I appreciate you checking in :)
@@rhysmentalhealth2521 I just watched it, good to see you back. And good to hear that you found a new friend. I like your content, although it is depressing sometimes lol.
@@Koltkaze cheers mate, I can be a very sad person sometimes sorry 😂
@@rhysmentalhealth2521 No problem, I get it. A mental illness is no joke, unfortunately I speak from experience. 😔
Turning 34 and it s exactly 11 years since living with dp/dr. I m also on mirtazapine (15mg) for tue last decade and escitalopram for 5 years (which also helps with anxiety). I ve experienced multiple short moments where everything felt real again. It s all about these moments that are giving me hope.
Many dp dr clinics also prescribe stimulants with an ssri which are supposed to help. Have you had any experience with that?
And you r favourite snack to keep the mirtazapine munchies down? Even after 10 years, the hunger response is insane 😅
11 years is a lot of time, you’ve done well keeping yourself going! I tried Sertraline a few years back however I had a real hard time swallowing the pills and I was so unwell with my anxiety being crazy high, I felt like the pills made it worse (maybe because I was scared of side effects). I think I only lasted a few days, maybe not even that long, taking SSRIS but it’s hard to remember because I was so ill at the time. Not sure I’ll try them again since I’m scared they’ll effect my ability to eat.
I was always very underweight and I hate eating so munchies have never been a problem for me ahah. I eat whatever I want and I’m no longer a skeleton thanks to mirtazapine 😂
Im on prozac and thinking to add mirtazapine for appetite and anxiety does it help with genralized anxiety
I’ve been on 30mg of Mirtazapine for over two years now and I wouldn’t say it helped with anxiety massively for example I still ended up in hospital with severe panic attacks 7 months into taking this med. However nowadays I’m panic attack free since August 2023 and I’m able to socialise a little better, anxiety attacks still happen and I’d still class my anxiety as severe but this med certainly has been a little helpful just not life changing. The appetite boost has helped me eat better, gain weight and subsequently to exercise more which helps me feel better.
It’s difficult for me to gauge because a lot of things have changed in my life and I have other disorders that might change how well I respond to medication.
Hey bud 😊
Hey mate, hope you’re well 💙
Mate, you are looking well! Put some good weight on :)
Cheers mate, feels good to have some meat on my bones aha.
please please look at Jordan hardgrave
I’ve tried his stuff, he’s very knowledgeable and positive so I can see how he helps people. Personally it didn’t help me get back to reality. I think circumstances in my life really prevent me from recovering which I’m trying to work on.
I think I remember you sending me a super kind/deep message which helped me feel less alone but insta deleted it before I could reply. Thank you for reaching out, hopefully I haven’t mixed you up with someone else aha.
@@rhysmentalhealth2521dpdr is a issue of traumatic stress. You will never get over dpdr by trying to fix things in your life. I thought the same thing back then while all I was doing was laying my bed 24/7 lol. It is an issue of traumatic stress. I have so much sympathy for you bro I can even give the password for his course lol. It hurts to see people struggling like this when you also been through it and know what causes it why it’s there and how to resolve it. I can even write you on instagram that I have zero connections to him lol.
This is meant in the nicest way but if things in your life are the problem why didn’t it work. I also tried antipsychotics, ssris, talk therapy, talking about childhood trauma NOTHING worked. It is essentially “only” extreme stress. You are not even “mentally ill” EVERYONE can or better said will get dpdr if they reach a point of overwhelming stress and exhaustion. It literally pains my heart to KNOW you could get out of it with the right approach. You seem like such a chill dude man :( don’t waste any more time ❤️
@@hallo7475cheers, I appreciate the kind words and you caring mate 💙
It didn’t work because although we all have the same condition, we aren’t all exactly the same meaning it doesn’t work for everyone. I’m autistic, started having panic attacks at age 8 due to the anxiety disorder I’ve had my whole life as well as depression that developed a few years before dpdr, I had episodes of dpdr when I was a kid but it always went away until now. And stomach issues like I mentioned in the video causing me to feel nauseous and be sick all the time which makes relaxing my body hard and at multiple points being extremely underweight to the point of organ failure territory bmi and having seizures from low blood sugar.
How long did your dpdr last? Did it take a few weeks/months before you seen improvements with the course?
@@rhysmentalhealth2521I really don’t wanna be that guy that puts every very complicated and serious thing under one umbrella, but dpdr is literally the same every. time. - and for every single person. You can be schizophrenic + dpdr, you can be healthy + dpdr, you can be depressed + dpdr (although dpdr itself is the most depressing shit ever). You can be epileptic + dpdr
Dpdr is always the same, we all have the same nervous system. What you describing with nauseau for example, I had exactly the same, I literally could not shit for 2 weeks and I went to every doctor on planet earth. Literally every single one. Dpdr is trauma. Traumatic stress. It’s miles above anxiety. Stuff with the mind will never ever work with dpdr. If you’re in a state of traumatic stress you can’t even think and your memory etc gets thrown off.
I had dpdr for 2.5 years. I had it because of a major trauma that happened very sudden and unexpected. Loss of a loved one to be exact. I was so overwhelmed that I turned to hard drugs. Then everything like shattered and dpdr kicked in HARD. I can not even describe the stress I was feeling. It was insane. Then I literally laid in bed for 2.5 years. These should have been the prime times in my life.
I don’t have time for too much text, but I recovered in about 4.5 months completely.
Because dpdr makes you the laziest piece ever and unbelievably hopeless you really need resilience to do what Jordan says 100% accurately.
I swear on my momma and my dog I’m not in any way related to this dude, but he fucking saved my life.
Dpdr is literal hell on earth. It DESTROYS everything. Your hope, your ambitions, your dreams, your personality, your relationships. It shatters everything you love, and believe me I know the hell.
If I would have done what this dude said earlier and took his course seriously I could have gotten my life back so much fucking sooner.
I really mean it when you are interested we could exchange instagram ir something or anything. Nobody deserves to be in this shithole made out of shit for 4 years.
@@rhysmentalhealth2521 hey man, its true that we arent all exactly the same, but the reasons for dpdr and coming out of it are always the same. always. i had depression and went through psychotic benzo withadrawl. Dpdr does not go away automatically or with time, dpdr recovery has a strategic process. Sadly, people have to try different stuff for years until the notice nothing actually works.
Like i said, look into his stuff and take it seriously. I can not convince you or people, even tho im desperate bc i know the hell of dpdr and seeing people struggle when the answer is near is heartbreaking. but its peoples lifes and choice and i need to accept that.
waiting for you on the other side brother. cheers
Buy some French fries and try eat them
Depression gets better after eating
I do still eat some solids it’s just I can’t eat enough of them to sustain my weight so need to rely on shakes/liquids otherwise I’d lose weight.
Definitely agree that eating enough helps you feel better as a former underweight person.
@@rhysmentalhealth2521 you should try the Olazipine you were given
@@rhysmentalhealth2521 you’ve been away for ages what do you do in that time
@@Ohkeh640I’m finally at a healthy weight (152lbs 6ft) so I don’t feel I need olanzapine, wouldn’t be worth the risk of side effects. There’s physical issues that impact my eating so meds can only do so much.
When I’m gone I usually just watch movies/series/football, go for daily walks, occasionally go for walks or coffees with friends and to my appointments with mental health people. I guess I disappear because I don’t have much to talk about or lose motivation to film. Hope you’re okay 💙