Me too! Want to share the Victorious Gospel that all things will eventually restored, but church would excommunicate me (don't care and would be better off) but concerned they may split my family( to get my wife to think I'm a bad guy)as we have a young child together.
Jocko, you helped me overcome a breakup, and instead of killing myself, I got better and stronger as a man. Got back out there and started my own family, now I'm a Dad.
@@ziaali319 Everyone is different, we all have a different background so we respond different to situtations. But one thing we can all do is learn to be more empathic and supportive to each others.
We are in this beautiful new age where those of us who didn’t have good role models, fathers, etc. as children can seek out men like these to make ourselves better. I’m grateful.
I'm a 44 year old woman learning something new every day from guys like this! So grateful! I liked what JP Sears says about Narcissism vs playing the victim role. If i label someone a narcissist it puts me in the victim role. Yes I've had bad things happen to me in the past but I am a survivor not staying a victim.
On one spectrum we have Jocko on another we got Andrew. I don't hate either, respect for both. I may not agree with everything Andrew says. They both speak the truth, but Andrew's controversial. Just comparing and analysing data. I hope a war doesn't start here. Oh also David and Jocko seem to be cuts of the same cloth.
@@61814_The most important distinction you made there is “different spectrum”. Andrew Tate is not a positive role model. If you think so then you’re probably a teenager, which is understandable. If you’re an adult you have some serious catching up to do, at least if you care about growing as a man. Andrew is not cut from the same cloth, he’s a sex trafficker who loses his temper all the time and let’s strangers and their perceptions of him control him.
As someone who is very calm I do realize my fatal flaw is that I stockpile resentment, which is anger in passive mode that might blow up in the future. That's where the stoic philosophy comes in handy, It's been helping me let go on the things that are absolutely out of my control without fretting and taking effective actions to manage what I can manage. Emotions should be treated as mere signals but never a call to action
@david dunn spot on, I was previously doing everything that is possible to avoid conflict, unconsciously conflict made me feel like a bad person, so I would rather make the compromise and not assert myself. Now it's different and I can see how powerful it is to either assert myself and secure my position or drop the whole situation right out of the gate without much fuss. Whatever outcome it is I get to keep myself respect and dignity without being uncivil about the whole thing
@david dunn I would say that from a young age people learn subconscious patterns for conflict resolution and they stick to it for the rest of their lives. I'm going to simplify (life isn't necessarily described in white and black) but usually people tend to fall into two categories: either the opportunistic or the people pleaser. And trust me being a people pleaser for a big chunk of my life I know for a fact that that it is corrosive inwardly and outwardly, it is as much as toxic as a dickhead who only want their piece of the cake with complete disregard for the other parties involved. I guess I grew up to be the opposite of that, I was too concerned and tried as much as I could to not look like that self-centered asshole we all have encountered in our lives at some point, unknowingly as a matter of fact I shot myself in the leg and didn't give myself more room for growth and personality development. Now I can say I'm in a more of a secure position and try to keep everything balanced.
This helps me remember to check my frustration when my 8 and 6 year old are being 8 and 6 year olds. Other day my daughter was yelling at her brother but he was ignoring her. Each yell she got louder and louder. I popped in the room and told her that yelling over and over isn’t going to help get him to listen to you. She tuned without missing a beat and said, “you do it to me” felt like a knife in the heart. Sat down and took ownership of poor way I had approached her in the past and we agreed to work on it together.
The fact that you are self aware and psychologically healthy enough to notice she was absolutely right and you have the will to change. That means there’s hope for you and your kids having a healthy and functional life. My family has such bad Personality Disorders and are so dysfunctional that it’s never their fault or they’re always the victims. They can do no wrong and the other person can only do wrong. That’s a recipe for a dysfunctional up bringing and perpetuates the generational curses of trauma and no growth. You sound like a good father.
When the majority of people in your life get overly emotional about almost everything, it makes you look like the odd one, in my experience. You get called things like “robot” or in the corporate world; “disconnected” or “slow to action”.
It has happened to me plenty of times. They expect me to react the same way they do. Like I need an "Ego check" or something. I don't. I just don't all emotionally attached to problems.
I was a 911 operator for a decade. I've been to both ends of that spectrum. Being the guy with a poker face while I hear cries of pain and panic; considered superhuman while on the job, And also being that guy who's so passionate about an ethical question that I'm frustrated at how everyone around me has the emotionless blank stare. Courage isn't always silent. Sometimes it's about speaking up, not down. Especially in a world that embraces totalitarianism more and more.
I look up to Jocko And Echo like they're My Dad and Uncle,lol. I've truly been turning into a person I never knew I could even be with the advice of MEN like these two. Thank you for being here for the ones of us who don't have "Good" Dad's or fathers to look up to. Thank You BOTH for your Service 🫂 On and Off the Battlefield. Yall are saving lives and don't even know it.
There's something I learned about emotional control. The *only* way to learn how to "control you emotions" is by putting yourself under situations that stimulates such emotions constantly, consistently, during a long period of time. Jocko is able to be calm and collected under stressful situations because that's what he's been doing his entire career. Knowing about emotional control is not enough. We have to pile effort upon effort, and put ourselves under rough situations, and learn how to enjoy that.
@@effjesse_ that’s true. It’s a lot of practice. Overwhelmingly so, sometimes. You are also correct that it’s important to be wary of positive emotion. It also has its own pitfalls, especially if you are counting on it.
I lost my son years ago. Not sure how to explain it but after that event things inside just became numb in a way. I still enjoy life and all but when it comes to things like the deaths of my parents and others, I'm just not really as moved as I guess I should be. I've heard comments get back to me that I'm cold and such. But I will say this, I have learned to appreciate the numbness and not having to deal with the sorrows that many have to deal with, I guess when it comes to sadness I feel like I've already hit the bottom. Nowhere to go but up right? I will say this I cherish every day with my family now. Every fkn second.
Good for you man, how hard or simple it may sound but its all perspective and experience, "what doesnt kill you" It is impressive that you have this perspective on something so terrible
@@Tatted-ne7tu In the end there is nothing in life to be feared, only understood. The good or bad story is a story we create in our own minds, its a perspective
This time is the best time to start becoming strong, and stop being pathetic. Believe me, if you start training physically, not only it helps physically, it also helps a lot with your mental health, you start feeling more humble inside of you, you understand better the difficulties of life by starting feeling physical pain. You start to understand strong people and why they do not show their emotions.
Thanks for this advice from one of our most disciplined, controlled and experienced heroes. Ego and emotional control are important for yourself and those around you. Great for present and future decision making.
Life is good when you learn to control your emotions, especially when having to make life decisions. The first goal in a competitive situation is to get the other party into an emotional state, get under their skin, this leads them to make poor decisions. Keep up the great work brothers.
Man Jocko when I heard your first sentence about these groups acting against you and your brand I had some choice words I was going to use in this chat for them. Then you started about emotional control and I realized I have made some progress but still have work to do. We support you. We support your message. Thank you sir!
I met jocko in 1994 while deployed with SBU-12. I remember jocko whole team including Swan, Goodie, Bones etcetera . Amazing memories with,amazing men. Stand by to get some.
2:58 If this is true (I have never been a soldier so I don't know) it's huge. Because it can be applied to many situations and give us a better understanding of how (mis)communication works in hard situations. A video about it could help us see these patterns, and know how to react to them before ends to avoid any bad outcome. If you guys have time it will be great to have a video to unpack this. God bless you!
This is why I love your podcast, Jocko. Being level headed is hard, but you have clear tactics for controlling your emotions and those tactics have helped me in my own military career. I can also honestly say that Extreme Ownership changed my life and helped my relationship with my fiancé. Thank you so much. 👏🏼
That's key to me. Don't focus on how catastrophic it is or how good or bad it is. Focus on what can be done about it. It's not about dismissing feelings I don't think. It's about keeping your head in the fight.
Jocko, you’re the positive male influence I’ve needed. Got my shit together enough to enroll in a treatment program in AZ, a couple of states away from where I am now. Thank you. I wish you were my father, I know you’d tell me how proud you are!
Awesome brother, I had to move to Nashville for a treatment center and I ended up staying here after I completed the program. It was the best thing I ever did. I would absolutely have ended up dead or locked up if I’d kept messing up.
Hey man, I am not your dad, but I am a dad. Just wanted to tell you I am proud of you! Way to not quit on yourself! Keep grinding! It wont be easy, but you are capable
As someone who has had a hard time controlling their emotions. The only thing that helped was taking full control of my schedule. Jocko is the same way. Go to bed and wake up at the same time as much as reasonable. Have a routine at the end and beginning of your day. If you control your schedule your emotions become easier to control.
“Give me a little bit more detail… What’s happening?” What a perfect way to react!! We’re often so quick to jump to {often inaccurate} conclusions. When we give ourselves and others a bit of grace and space, situations are resolve much more smoothly.
I have been having a hard time, you words have helped me more than I can put into words. I wanted to finally take the time to say thank you, sincerely.
I can only speak for myself, but I came to realise that anger gave me a perverse sense of control in positions where I otherwise felt helpless or resentful: "I can reassert my will if people can see I'm willing and able to burn down the whole thing. If I can't win, nobody can". Of course the reality is that a scorched earth approach will damage you, your reputation, and your mission. Master yourself, and you'll master the situation.
Never be afraid of a scorched earth approach. It’s 100% the Marxist left playbook. Cause chaos and gain power through the chaos. The silent majority and comfortable will submit not wanting to “scorch earth”. Every communist uprising took this approach. And Hitler did it in France.
This is awesome Jocko and Echo. Once we get emotional anything that happens after the moment can magnify the situation and then the emotions. Without sufficient information or exploration, things can explode and wrong decisions can be made or the right decisions can be made late. I am currently dealing with an emotional situation and I have seen how anything that happens in that area simply magnifies the issue and I often go on the defensive instead of exploring and understanding. Fortunately, I have created a strong alter-ego that calls me out on this. He says "Steven you are overthinking again, over-emphasizing, overcompensating, over-assuming, and preparing for an imaginary battle"....This podcast has just clarified things for me. Thanks to you from the above ground. Love you guys and your mission.
I’ve seen this In practice in BJJ. You get in a tough position but you don’t push through with rage. You are concerned but you gotta keep your head. I’ve seen so many guys work their way out of a tough situation in BJJ when they work through it instead of panicking.
Awesome points, Jocko! Emotional control is imperative in life. The reason things are so off the rails in the world today, in my humble opinion, is because people have lost control over their emotions.
Jocko, you have helped me tremendously dealing with my emotional anger from trauma when I was 19 years old. Now 64, I still struggle with allowing angry emotions to make me weak. It takes a lot of discipline in the forethought before it goes into the full thought of emotional anger. Still working on the discipline. Thank You!!
First time I've actually taken a minute to listen to Jacko and everything he says makes total sense and rings true to me. Mistakes get made w emotional responses 💯 percent.
First time I checked out your cast I was like "WTF IS THIS?" and who's that meathead looking dude? I have to report to you guys that after viewing TONS of the episodes I'm all in! The fact that you share and expose and explain the truth about the full range of the tragedy of warfare, AND the truth about the fact that there is also a component of love, devotion, honor, faith, and all the highest elements of the human condition is totally cutting edge and badass! Carry On!
I don't honestly know what platforms such as this thought was going to happen with the amount of overbearing control, censorship etc they are putting in place. I'm glad people are leaving this behind. Much respect guys.
I have many times gotten angry in personal, social, and work situations (almost entirely for good reason) I then end up being the bad guy who suffers the consequence whilst the other person becomes the victim of sorts (never violently) I wish I had listened to this perspective along time ago.
I REALLY APPRECIATED THE EG OF THE 2 PLATOONS ,OUT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF WAR ,IN HE MIX OF ACTUAL BATTLE, AND JUST ,TRYING FOR A SPLIT SEC, TO AMAGINE THE REAL EMOTIONS AND HOW THOSE SOLDIERS WERE REALLY FEELING, KNOWING ONE OF THEIR BRO, CLOSE FRIENDS HAD JUST THEN ,LITERALLY BEEN KILLED BY THE ENEMY, IT ALSO REMINDS OF ANOTHER AMAZING UNIQUE LAYER AND REASON OF WHY I ADMIRE RESPECT AND LISTEN TO JOCKO SO MUCH, TGHE LESSONS AND KNOWLEDGE ARE FCKIN ENDLESS, SO REAL RAW HAS REALLY BEEN HELPIN ME IN ALL AREAS OF LIFE KEEP EM COMIN MUCH RESPECT FR EASTCOAST CANADA THE WOLF
Gentlemen You Are RIGHT on POINT concerning Emotions! I’ve been in complete control over mine since I was a Teenager and I left home to go to work. 53 now and a Veteran of Iraq and Married since 2001.
This hit me hard. I've always been quick to get angry. Seeing my older brothers do it all my childhood certainly shaped me. I know it's an irrational reaction but it's a hard cycle to break.
You're not alone brother👍 I get angry fast too but time & experience have taught me that I was just wasting energy especially when I got angry over trivial stuff. Now I'm practising how to control my emotions. Never react to stupid stuff. Some people in life will try to trigger you and the moment you react is the moment you let them win. Ignore bs. It is indeed a hard cycle to break but you can do it bro. It's hard for all of us. It's okay to sometimes get angry. Getting angry over stuff that matters is okay but NEVER get angry/emotional over silly stuff. We can all control our emotions. Take it one day/one step at a time. You got this man👍
Thanks guys for your channel. Both my Dads were Marines among many other fam that is/was in service. I always wanted to be a Seal. Do to medical I could never join the military. I appreciate you guys and your channel. Never give up, Never surrender, unless to reassert and approach from a different angle. lol.
I used to be emotional in a way where i can easily get triggered and get angry or irritated by the people around me who disappoint me, but after listening to Jocko and Andrew about learning how to keep calm and control your emotion like the famous saying "those who have swords and know how to use them, but keep them sheathed, shall inherit the earth." i heard this from Jordan Peterson too. it changed my life so much.
First podcast that it's totally relatable, down to earth... real. I am struggling with emotional regulation all my life. Psychologists, psychiatrists, peers etc nothing I could connect with until now
I feel like these are inspired by events that occurred years ago as well as events that occurred days ago. I feel the reflective nature gives both your voices insight and impact and depth. Dope
Great advice here for us all! Loss of emotional control, plus ego, gets alot of police and corrections officers in trouble. One analogy I use in training officers, is that of a train. If you allow emotions to drive the engine, then a train wreck is just ahead. Emotions are important, but should be at the caboose. What drives the train should be your intellect, training, experience, and common sense. Regarding first reports, new officers are trained that in most cases, dispatch info, rarely is correct, and that they should consider that in their approach.
Kids are being deliberately made dependent. But that intentional undermining doesn't negate the value and meaning of accepting and resolving our pain. It is not weak to do so, but on the contrary, it is the single most unnerving thing we will ever face. From it, comes real courage. Out of it grows real strength.
I experience this in my work. We do something and our manager who is sitting at a desk reacts to this in a negative way. Really arm chair quarterbacking it. But usually to our detriment.
When you freak out on someone you are IMMEDIATELY giving THEM your power and it never makes your sub conscious look or feel good. That doesn’t mean bottle things up you absolute need to feel your emotions but in your own time you need to feel then and appreciate them then release them then push forward. Never bottle things up and never lose control of your emotions
Don't be pathetic. Get insane confidence in yourself and your abilities. Get mental strength. Become iron willed and disciplined. Become totally emotionally self controlled calm and centred Be the man who can be relied upon in a crisis. Functioning under any conditions difficulties or hardships. Become a real masculine man All explained in detail how to get these qualities and be able to plan and execute any life goal The art to masculinity by james francis
I often send the young men I speak to your way because I appreciate the way you see life and approach hard times. I too have been flanked by the same aggressors as you guys, because I don't subscribe to the sissy narrative that has been bestowed upon the males in our society. Stay the course, brother. The world needs more Jocko Willinks.
Totally agree with everything here. We must gain and maintain control of our emotions for all types of situations. The people I don't understand in the slightest are the ones that believe you can't control your emotions. If you believe you can't be in control of your emotions, this must be a severe lack of ownership and accountability in these types of people.
Mines not the average reaction, I don't get angry or mad a lot of the time, but instead freeze emotionally. I then, don't know what I even think about the situation & become emotionally withdrawn & fall into self pity cycles. I feel pathetic all the time with this.
Emotional control is an important lesson, taken to extremes not being able to control your emotions can ruin portions of your life or at least your effectiveness in many circumstances. Not trying to ride coattails or kiss ass, just have seen it before.
I absolutely love listening to your podcasts. The style, presentation and raw application of life lessons really puts it in perspective for me as a leader, mentor and life coach. As a retired Army Combat Vet, I can relate and identify with the stories and experiences you share. The rawness without inflation and hype is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your service. 🇺🇸💫🤟💪
Getting out of the shadow of my past has been a life long struggle. I just hope to be less pathetic every day. Taking responsibility, and as J says, be level headed. Some days are better than others.
I just caught my husband with a woman in our house in our bedroom. Today is day 3, and I am trying to move forward. Dead weight!! Listening to Jocko every damn hour !
In the past I lashed out and flew off the handle. Unfortunately if caused a distance between my daughters and myself and I hate that. I wish I would have heard this 40 years ago.
I have a very acute stress response which normally dissipates as quickly as it comes on. It's inherited, but learned, behavior. I can maintain my emotional integrity if I simply allow myself to hesitate. It gives me time to manually slow myself down in order to tackle the stimulus with a rational head, free from the physical symptoms of stress. I've explained this to people and expressed that problems only come about if I'm rushed into action, which results in all of that vitriol suddenly paying attention to this person who is interrupting my autonomy. Since practicing this I've gotten faster in faster in that reaction time. The only side effect appears to be a pet peeve of being rushed or hurried.
There's times to kick down doors and there's times to keep your mouth shut. It is not always easy to control your emotions but every situation is different. Think about things before you get in them. The worst is when you're blindsided and thrown into a bad situation without warning.
Hey Jocko - im following your online career for sometime and you do some crazy good work. But while im not reading comments on your YT, I dont know if Echo gets enough credit. Hey Echo - you seem like a quiet type, a little backed out in the conversation but whenever you speak - you offer some great insight or a very 'out of the box' question. I enjoy you being on Jockos podcast the most!
It's like what we are seeing today, you can't allow your emotions to dictate your response to the situation at hand. I still have love for family and friends and can't control situations caused by others, so it's always wise to chill and see what else pops up.
Discipline your emotions. Feel them, know why they're there, don't let them control you. each emotion has its own unique power, use that power. Sometimes you gotta freak out, it happens, don't allow your purge of emotions to affect anyone's progress.
A better title would be "Emotional Intelligence." It encompasses managing emotions, taking ownership and self-reflection. Jocko should have a psychology professor on to discuss this more. I think he'd be surprised about how many of his videos are about emotional intelligence.
16 year old me needed to hear this. 40 year old me still needed to hear this. Thank you Jocko & Echo.
Im 55 And Needed This !!! Sad that the Family Unit is not Valued and we are seeing the affects today from years of division !!!!
Me too! Want to share the Victorious Gospel that all things will eventually restored, but church would excommunicate me (don't care and would be better off) but concerned they may split my family( to get my wife to think I'm a bad guy)as we have a young child together.
Yea 54 wish I had this kind of discipline when I was younger-better late than never
Hell yeah brother.
Waving flags for war criminals.. never a good thing. There is no redemption for this clown.
Jocko, you helped me overcome a breakup, and instead of killing myself, I got better and stronger as a man. Got back out there and started my own family, now I'm a Dad.
Thanks for telling a little of your story. Well done on overcoming appropriately
KUDOS!! Keep working, brother.
That's what a real man do!
You were gonna kill yourself over a breakup? Bitch please
@@ziaali319 Everyone is different, we all have a different background so we respond different to situtations. But one thing we can all do is learn to be more empathic and supportive to each others.
We are in this beautiful new age where those of us who didn’t have good role models, fathers, etc. as children can seek out men like these to make ourselves better. I’m grateful.
love this comment
Roger that!
I'm a 44 year old woman learning something new every day from guys like this! So grateful!
I liked what JP Sears says about Narcissism vs playing the victim role.
If i label someone a narcissist it puts me in the victim role.
Yes I've had bad things happen to me in the past but I am a survivor not staying a victim.
On one spectrum we have Jocko on another we got Andrew.
I don't hate either, respect for both.
I may not agree with everything Andrew says.
They both speak the truth, but Andrew's controversial.
Just comparing and analysing data.
I hope a war doesn't start here.
Oh also David and Jocko seem to be cuts of the same cloth.
@@61814_The most important distinction you made there is “different spectrum”.
Andrew Tate is not a positive role model. If you think so then you’re probably a teenager, which is understandable. If you’re an adult you have some serious catching up to do, at least if you care about growing as a man.
Andrew is not cut from the same cloth, he’s a sex trafficker who loses his temper all the time and let’s strangers and their perceptions of him control him.
As someone who is very calm I do realize my fatal flaw is that I stockpile resentment, which is anger in passive mode that might blow up in the future. That's where the stoic philosophy comes in handy, It's been helping me let go on the things that are absolutely out of my control without fretting and taking effective actions to manage what I can manage. Emotions should be treated as mere signals but never a call to action
@david dunn Exactly! I try to keep this in mind. Never let your emotions go above your thinking.
@david dunn spot on, I was previously doing everything that is possible to avoid conflict, unconsciously conflict made me feel like a bad person, so I would rather make the compromise and not assert myself. Now it's different and I can see how powerful it is to either assert myself and secure my position or drop the whole situation right out of the gate without much fuss. Whatever outcome it is I get to keep myself respect and dignity without being uncivil about the whole thing
@david dunn I would say that from a young age people learn subconscious patterns for conflict resolution and they stick to it for the rest of their lives.
I'm going to simplify (life isn't necessarily described in white and black) but usually people tend to fall into two categories: either the opportunistic or the people pleaser. And trust me being a people pleaser for a big chunk of my life I know for a fact that that it is corrosive inwardly and outwardly, it is as much as toxic as a dickhead who only want their piece of the cake with complete disregard for the other parties involved. I guess I grew up to be the opposite of that, I was too concerned and tried as much as I could to not look like that self-centered asshole we all have encountered in our lives at some point, unknowingly as a matter of fact I shot myself in the leg and didn't give myself more room for growth and personality development.
Now I can say I'm in a more of a secure position and try to keep everything balanced.
Do you know the serenity prayer?
Nice comment, the « fun » thing is that the biological nature of emotion is a call to action, what a challenge
This helps me remember to check my frustration when my 8 and 6 year old are being 8 and 6 year olds. Other day my daughter was yelling at her brother but he was ignoring her. Each yell she got louder and louder. I popped in the room and told her that yelling over and over isn’t going to help get him to listen to you. She tuned without missing a beat and said, “you do it to me” felt like a knife in the heart. Sat down and took ownership of poor way I had approached her in the past and we agreed to work on it together.
Hope it goes well!
You just changed the kind of mother she's going to be one day.
Good job, brother.
The fact that you are self aware and psychologically healthy enough to notice she was absolutely right and you have the will to change. That means there’s hope for you and your kids having a healthy and functional life. My family has such bad Personality Disorders and are so dysfunctional that it’s never their fault or they’re always the victims. They can do no wrong and the other person can only do wrong. That’s a recipe for a dysfunctional up bringing and perpetuates the generational curses of trauma and no growth. You sound like a good father.
If every parent was like you, this world would be a lot better place.
Good dad!
When the majority of people in your life get overly emotional about almost everything, it makes you look like the odd one, in my experience. You get called things like “robot” or in the corporate world; “disconnected” or “slow to action”.
The corporate world is everything toxic of society amplified times 1000.
It has happened to me plenty of times. They expect me to react the same way they do. Like I need an "Ego check" or something. I don't. I just don't all emotionally attached to problems.
Yeah people start taking their anger out on you if you don't act accordingly... To their means of accordingly.
@@ivandfwm hypocrisy
I was a 911 operator for a decade. I've been to both ends of that spectrum.
Being the guy with a poker face while I hear cries of pain and panic; considered superhuman while on the job,
And also being that guy who's so passionate about an ethical question that I'm frustrated at how everyone around me has the emotionless blank stare.
Courage isn't always silent. Sometimes it's about speaking up, not down. Especially in a world that embraces totalitarianism more and more.
When I realized that being weak and being kind aren’t the same thing my whole life changed.
I look up to Jocko And Echo like they're My Dad and Uncle,lol. I've truly been turning into a person I never knew I could even be with the advice of MEN like these two. Thank you for being here for the ones of us who don't have "Good" Dad's or fathers to look up to.
Thank You BOTH for your Service 🫂 On and Off the Battlefield. Yall are saving lives and don't even know it.
Same. My dad did horrible with me.
@@jamisonbernhardt3310 you guys had a dad?
Im just making jokes, not trying to one up, but yes there is a lack of strong male leaders in the country.
There's something I learned about emotional control. The *only* way to learn how to "control you emotions" is by putting yourself under situations that stimulates such emotions constantly, consistently, during a long period of time. Jocko is able to be calm and collected under stressful situations because that's what he's been doing his entire career.
Knowing about emotional control is not enough. We have to pile effort upon effort, and put ourselves under rough situations, and learn how to enjoy that.
That sounds really difficult
@@TsoiIzAlive Only if you make it too big. Just focus on the next step.
That’s easy to say, but that’s basically my constant state as a parent of a toddler, and I struggle to control my emotions with her so much.
That's not the only way andrew it's not even that great of a way.
@@effjesse_ that’s true. It’s a lot of practice. Overwhelmingly so, sometimes.
You are also correct that it’s important to be wary of positive emotion. It also has its own pitfalls, especially if you are counting on it.
I lost my son years ago. Not sure how to explain it but after that event things inside just became numb in a way. I still enjoy life and all but when it comes to things like the deaths of my parents and others, I'm just not really as moved as I guess I should be. I've heard comments get back to me that I'm cold and such. But I will say this, I have learned to appreciate the numbness and not having to deal with the sorrows that many have to deal with, I guess when it comes to sadness I feel like I've already hit the bottom. Nowhere to go but up right? I will say this I cherish every day with my family now. Every fkn second.
Good for you man, how hard or simple it may sound but its all perspective and experience, "what doesnt kill you"
It is impressive that you have this perspective on something so terrible
Never really thought of it as a perspective but I guess looking in through the window, that’s a great way to put it. Well said my friend.
@@Tatted-ne7tu In the end there is nothing in life to be feared, only understood. The good or bad story is a story we create in our own minds, its a perspective
I feel the same! Im with you on this ride my friend. Im a 1964er..you 69?
@@tassobear Yep 1969 kid, turn 54 in 30 days actually. Holy crap I'm gettin old.
This time is the best time to start becoming strong, and stop being pathetic. Believe me, if you start training physically, not only it helps physically, it also helps a lot with your mental health, you start feeling more humble inside of you, you understand better the difficulties of life by starting feeling physical pain. You start to understand strong people and why they do not show their emotions.
Well said
Thanks for this advice from one of our most disciplined, controlled and experienced heroes. Ego and emotional control are important for yourself and those around you. Great for present and future decision making.
The biggest part about this is realizing you are not your emotions.. you detach from them instead of suppressing them.
I have so much respect for Jocko.. I love how level headed he is
Life is good when you learn to control your emotions, especially when having to make life decisions. The first goal in a competitive situation is to get the other party into an emotional state, get under their skin, this leads them to make poor decisions. Keep up the great work brothers.
Such a fan of Jocko and all he has to share. Extreme Ownership!!
GENERAL DAY ....ITS NOT GONNS FAIL 😢
Man Jocko when I heard your first sentence about these groups acting against you and your brand I had some choice words I was going to use in this chat for them. Then you started about emotional control and I realized I have made some progress but still have work to do. We support you. We support your message. Thank you sir!
Jocko: “they loosing their mind.”
Also Jocko: *holding a knife*
Everyone in the area: run❤
I met jocko in 1994 while deployed with SBU-12. I remember jocko whole team including Swan, Goodie, Bones etcetera . Amazing memories with,amazing men. Stand by to get some.
2:58 If this is true (I have never been a soldier so I don't know) it's huge. Because it can be applied to many situations and give us a better understanding of how (mis)communication works in hard situations. A video about it could help us see these patterns, and know how to react to them before ends to avoid any bad outcome.
If you guys have time it will be great to have a video to unpack this.
God bless you!
I needed this. Thanks.
Yes!
Ya this was good
This is why I love your podcast, Jocko. Being level headed is hard, but you have clear tactics for controlling your emotions and those tactics have helped me in my own military career. I can also honestly say that Extreme Ownership changed my life and helped my relationship with my fiancé. Thank you so much. 👏🏼
That's key to me. Don't focus on how catastrophic it is or how good or bad it is. Focus on what can be done about it. It's not about dismissing feelings I don't think. It's about keeping your head in the fight.
Jocko, you’re the positive male influence I’ve needed. Got my shit together enough to enroll in a treatment program in AZ, a couple of states away from where I am now. Thank you. I wish you were my father, I know you’d tell me how proud you are!
nah. he'd just shrug and say 'good' 😝
keep at all the same dude!
Awesome brother, I had to move to Nashville for a treatment center and I ended up staying here after I completed the program. It was the best thing I ever did. I would absolutely have ended up dead or locked up if I’d kept messing up.
Hey man, I am not your dad, but I am a dad. Just wanted to tell you I am proud of you! Way to not quit on yourself! Keep grinding! It wont be easy, but you are capable
As someone who has had a hard time controlling their emotions. The only thing that helped was taking full control of my schedule. Jocko is the same way. Go to bed and wake up at the same time as much as reasonable. Have a routine at the end and beginning of your day. If you control your schedule your emotions become easier to control.
“Give me a little bit more detail… What’s happening?” What a perfect way to react!! We’re often so quick to jump to {often inaccurate} conclusions. When we give ourselves and others a bit of grace and space, situations are resolve much more smoothly.
Jocko drops another nugget of gold here, i keep becoming a better person just by listening to him
I have been having a hard time, you words have helped me more than I can put into words. I wanted to finally take the time to say thank you, sincerely.
I can only speak for myself, but I came to realise that anger gave me a perverse sense of control in positions where I otherwise felt helpless or resentful: "I can reassert my will if people can see I'm willing and able to burn down the whole thing. If I can't win, nobody can".
Of course the reality is that a scorched earth approach will damage you, your reputation, and your mission.
Master yourself, and you'll master the situation.
Never be afraid of a scorched earth approach. It’s 100% the Marxist left playbook. Cause chaos and gain power through the chaos. The silent majority and comfortable will submit not wanting to “scorch earth”. Every communist uprising took this approach. And Hitler did it in France.
The only winning move is not to play
You should still be able to burn everything to the ground. Just in case.
@@jeremybrimmer1990 you must be French. Not playing is called surrender you donut
@@rogerc23 there you go then
This is awesome Jocko and Echo. Once we get emotional anything that happens after the moment can magnify the situation and then the emotions. Without sufficient information or exploration, things can explode and wrong decisions can be made or the right decisions can be made late. I am currently dealing with an emotional situation and I have seen how anything that happens in that area simply magnifies the issue and I often go on the defensive instead of exploring and understanding. Fortunately, I have created a strong alter-ego that calls me out on this. He says "Steven you are overthinking again, over-emphasizing, overcompensating, over-assuming, and preparing for an imaginary battle"....This podcast has just clarified things for me. Thanks to you from the above ground. Love you guys and your mission.
I’ve seen this In practice in BJJ. You get in a tough position but you don’t push through with rage. You are concerned but you gotta keep your head. I’ve seen so many guys work their way out of a tough situation in BJJ when they work through it instead of panicking.
Awesome points, Jocko! Emotional control is imperative in life. The reason things are so off the rails in the world today, in my humble opinion, is because people have lost control over their emotions.
Jocko, you have helped me tremendously dealing with my emotional anger from trauma when I was 19 years old. Now 64, I still struggle with allowing angry emotions to make me weak. It takes a lot of discipline in the forethought before it goes into the full thought of emotional anger. Still working on the discipline. Thank You!!
First time I've actually taken a minute to listen to Jacko and everything he says makes total sense and rings true to me. Mistakes get made w emotional responses 💯 percent.
First time I checked out your cast I was like "WTF IS THIS?" and who's that meathead looking dude? I have to report to you guys that after viewing TONS of the episodes I'm all in! The fact that you share and expose and explain the truth about the full range of the tragedy of warfare, AND the truth about the fact that there is also a component of love, devotion, honor, faith, and all the highest elements of the human condition is totally cutting edge and badass!
Carry On!
Thank you Jocko keep on it! you are so on point all the time such a positive for this planet. Thank you for your mindfulness!
I don't honestly know what platforms such as this thought was going to happen with the amount of overbearing control, censorship etc they are putting in place. I'm glad people are leaving this behind. Much respect guys.
Over the summer I left an abusive relationship and felt more lost than I’ve ever felt, thank you for the guidance I found in these videos.
I have many times gotten angry in personal, social, and work situations (almost entirely for good reason) I then end up being the bad guy who suffers the consequence whilst the other person becomes the victim of sorts (never violently) I wish I had listened to this perspective along time ago.
I REALLY APPRECIATED THE EG OF THE 2 PLATOONS ,OUT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF WAR ,IN HE MIX OF ACTUAL BATTLE, AND JUST ,TRYING FOR A SPLIT SEC, TO AMAGINE THE REAL EMOTIONS AND HOW THOSE SOLDIERS WERE REALLY FEELING, KNOWING ONE OF THEIR BRO, CLOSE FRIENDS HAD JUST THEN ,LITERALLY BEEN KILLED BY THE ENEMY, IT ALSO REMINDS OF ANOTHER AMAZING UNIQUE LAYER AND REASON OF WHY I ADMIRE RESPECT AND LISTEN TO JOCKO SO MUCH, TGHE LESSONS AND KNOWLEDGE ARE FCKIN ENDLESS, SO REAL RAW HAS REALLY BEEN HELPIN ME IN ALL AREAS OF LIFE KEEP EM COMIN MUCH RESPECT FR EASTCOAST CANADA THE WOLF
Thankyou so much for your content Jocko, the knowledge you have given not only me but many others is priceless.
Im a teacher. This is what needs to be taught, nation wide. Regulating emotions is a skill. Thank you.
Gentlemen You Are RIGHT on POINT concerning Emotions! I’ve been in complete control over mine since I was a Teenager and I left home to go to work. 53 now and a Veteran of Iraq and Married since 2001.
Thank you for Your Service !!!
@@cliffordincalifornia Thanks It was my Honor!!
I wish I learned this 30 years ago. When I was younger I let emotions dictate my actions, never in a productive way. Don’t sweat the small stuff
Same here. It has cost me dearly.
This hit me hard. I've always been quick to get angry. Seeing my older brothers do it all my childhood certainly shaped me. I know it's an irrational reaction but it's a hard cycle to break.
You're not alone brother👍 I get angry fast too but time & experience have taught me that I was just wasting energy especially when I got angry over trivial stuff. Now I'm practising how to control my emotions. Never react to stupid stuff. Some people in life will try to trigger you and the moment you react is the moment you let them win. Ignore bs. It is indeed a hard cycle to break but you can do it bro. It's hard for all of us. It's okay to sometimes get angry. Getting angry over stuff that matters is okay but NEVER get angry/emotional over silly stuff. We can all control our emotions. Take it one day/one step at a time. You got this man👍
The first step is to recognize and admit to it.
Lessons in stoacism. Something a lot of men need to hear and learn; especially myself. Thank you, sir, for sharing your insight and wisdom.
Thanks guys for your channel. Both my Dads were Marines among many other fam that is/was in service. I always wanted to be a Seal. Do to medical I could never join the military. I appreciate you guys and your channel. Never give up, Never surrender, unless to reassert and approach from a different angle. lol.
I think Echo is a master of controlling his emotions. lol
Jacko the part about the first bit of information that trigger you being incorrect almost all the time is so true thank you for reaffirming
I refuse to be pathetic
Nope too late
If you live life like its a simulation like 80% of all people in the US, you're probably kind of pathetic. We've been domesticated
Nothing wrong with being pathetic
Good
@@phililpb tru
Irony : the people that could benefit most from this, wouldn't watch a video like this
Why
I used to be emotional in a way where i can easily get triggered and get angry or irritated by the people around me who disappoint me, but after listening to Jocko and Andrew about learning how to keep calm and control your emotion like the famous saying "those who have swords and know how to use them, but keep them sheathed, shall inherit the earth." i heard this from Jordan Peterson too. it changed my life so much.
I love when Jocko suddenly got his knife out while talking about people losing control at 12:45 in the most calm voice
First podcast that it's totally relatable, down to earth... real. I am struggling with emotional regulation all my life. Psychologists, psychiatrists, peers etc nothing I could connect with until now
I feel like these are inspired by events that occurred years ago as well as events that occurred days ago. I feel the reflective nature gives both your voices insight and impact and depth. Dope
Great advice here for us all! Loss of emotional control, plus ego, gets alot of police and corrections officers in trouble. One analogy I use in training officers, is that of a train. If you allow emotions to drive the engine, then a train wreck is just ahead. Emotions are important, but should be at the caboose. What drives the train should be your intellect, training, experience, and common sense. Regarding first reports, new officers are trained that in most cases, dispatch info, rarely is correct, and that they should consider that in their approach.
Thanks for being a father figure to some of us who didn’t have that
One of the most important clips from this entire channel 🙏
Up at 5am to walk a jog! Let’s go Jocko!!!!! Keep moving!
Kids are being deliberately made dependent. But that intentional undermining doesn't negate the value and meaning of accepting and resolving our pain. It is not weak to do so, but on the contrary, it is the single most unnerving thing we will ever face. From it, comes real courage. Out of it grows real strength.
When Jocko described how losing your temper comes across as weak, it's so true. So funny how he describes it. 🤣
And now you just end up laughing inside when someone gets angry 😂with a straight face
I experience this in my work. We do something and our manager who is sitting at a desk reacts to this in a negative way. Really arm chair quarterbacking it. But usually to our detriment.
When you freak out on someone you are IMMEDIATELY giving THEM your power and it never makes your sub conscious look or feel good. That doesn’t mean bottle things up you absolute need to feel your emotions but in your own time you need to feel then and appreciate them then release them then push forward. Never bottle things up and never lose control of your emotions
Jocko speaks truths in volume. Anger is a weak sign and emotion.
Don't be pathetic. Get insane confidence in yourself and your abilities. Get mental strength. Become iron willed and disciplined. Become totally emotionally self controlled calm and centred
Be the man who can be relied upon in a crisis. Functioning under any conditions difficulties or hardships.
Become a real masculine man
All explained in detail how to get these qualities and be able to plan and execute any life goal
The art to masculinity by james francis
This is very helpful and useful, with a lot of situations in life. God Bless.
I often send the young men I speak to your way because I appreciate the way you see life and approach hard times. I too have been flanked by the same aggressors as you guys, because I don't subscribe to the sissy narrative that has been bestowed upon the males in our society.
Stay the course, brother. The world needs more Jocko Willinks.
Dude, be balanced. It's not a sissy narrative, it's just having compassion for your fellow humans, having pity for their pain.
Jocko, great words of wisdom. They will help become a better person in life. Thanks Jocko.
Totally agree with everything here. We must gain and maintain control of our emotions for all types of situations. The people I don't understand in the slightest are the ones that believe you can't control your emotions. If you believe you can't be in control of your emotions, this must be a severe lack of ownership and accountability in these types of people.
Mines not the average reaction, I don't get angry or mad a lot of the time, but instead freeze emotionally. I then, don't know what I even think about the situation & become emotionally withdrawn & fall into self pity cycles. I feel pathetic all the time with this.
I love it. Real and true mentor, coach, guru, leader.
Emotional control is an important lesson, taken to extremes not being able to control your emotions can ruin portions of your life or at least your effectiveness in many circumstances. Not trying to ride coattails or kiss ass, just have seen it before.
I absolutely love listening to your podcasts. The style, presentation and raw application of life lessons really puts it in perspective for me as a leader, mentor and life coach. As a retired Army Combat Vet, I can relate and identify with the stories and experiences you share. The rawness without inflation and hype is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your service. 🇺🇸💫🤟💪
Getting out of the shadow of my past has been a life long struggle. I just hope to be less pathetic every day. Taking responsibility, and as J says, be level headed. Some days are better than others.
Man I feel like this upload was for me! I’ve had 2 awful days and I’ve questioned myself alot recently.
Thanks jocko and echo, I needed this.
Keep it going fellas, this is my life blood.
Sooooooo... Totally off topic. As a cinematographer I have to say how dope your lighting is. I matches you and your persona 10000%! Well done!
Great objective. Properly outlined with all points clearly walked through and explained. Thank you for the reminder. Checked and Out.
Jko pod, leadership strategy and tactics, and extreme ownership are the perfect recipe for a construction superintendent.
Glad you’re still with us brother!
Freaking outstanding !great nuggets of wisdom . Thank you Jacko and Echo
Thanks brothers.
I think:
When Logic is high, Emotion is low.
When Emotion is high, Logic is low.
3:22 i concur
I just caught my husband with a woman in our house in our bedroom. Today is day 3, and I am trying to move forward. Dead weight!! Listening to Jocko every damn hour !
Oh dang. Ow. This is say 11 or 12, you ok?
@@biggSHNDO yeah. Day 12: doing much better, thank you!
Thanks Jocko
I struggle with this even though everyone that knows me think I am cool and not emotional. I hate when emotions control you
In the past I lashed out and flew off the handle. Unfortunately if caused a distance between my daughters and myself and I hate that. I wish I would have heard this 40 years ago.
heard that
I have a very acute stress response which normally dissipates as quickly as it comes on. It's inherited, but learned, behavior. I can maintain my emotional integrity if I simply allow myself to hesitate. It gives me time to manually slow myself down in order to tackle the stimulus with a rational head, free from the physical symptoms of stress. I've explained this to people and expressed that problems only come about if I'm rushed into action, which results in all of that vitriol suddenly paying attention to this person who is interrupting my autonomy.
Since practicing this I've gotten faster in faster in that reaction time. The only side effect appears to be a pet peeve of being rushed or hurried.
There's times to kick down doors and there's times to keep your mouth shut. It is not always easy to control your emotions but every situation is different. Think about things before you get in them. The worst is when you're blindsided and thrown into a bad situation without warning.
Hey Jocko - im following your online career for sometime and you do some crazy good work. But while im not reading comments on your YT, I dont know if Echo gets enough credit. Hey Echo - you seem like a quiet type, a little backed out in the conversation but whenever you speak - you offer some great insight or a very 'out of the box' question. I enjoy you being on Jockos podcast the most!
Want to thank you for “regular face” early on in your podcast. Helped me through one particular four day stretch during SFAS.
It's like what we are seeing today, you can't allow your emotions to dictate your response to the situation at hand. I still have love for family and friends and can't control situations caused by others, so it's always wise to chill and see what else pops up.
Emotion and passion are two different things. Most people can’t decipher the two
Discipline your emotions. Feel them, know why they're there, don't let them control you. each emotion has its own unique power, use that power. Sometimes you gotta freak out, it happens, don't allow your purge of emotions to affect anyone's progress.
Value on top of value, thankful.
it’s kinda crazy how nobody’s talking about the forbidden ebook called 25 Money Secrets From Donald Trump
love this. we all need to hear this🙏
A better title would be "Emotional Intelligence." It encompasses managing emotions, taking ownership and self-reflection. Jocko should have a psychology professor on to discuss this more. I think he'd be surprised about how many of his videos are about emotional intelligence.
JP says thats BS, no such thing
@cakensteak who is JP and why would they think that?
@@DonVito591 Jordan Peterson. Because it has no meaning.
@@cakensteak So if it has no meaning to him therefore it has no meaning to anyone else? There's quite a body of scientific research on it.
@@DonVito591 he does the research
I love, love, love this !!!!
Jocko and echo are super tough cookies. I nominate them to go through the exact same thing I did for the next 30 years to see how they do.