r/Askreddit What's Your Night Shift Horror Story?
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- Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
- r/Askreddit On today's episode we have two askreddit questions: What's the best joke you know? and What are your night shift horror stories? I wanted to include the jokes to lighten the mood at a bit, because some of the horror stories are downright horrifying, disgusting, and creepy. For example, one user who worked at a morgue told a story about a guy who tried to pay them money to let him spend a few hours alone with the freshest corpses. What do you think he wanted to do with them?
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"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
License: CC By Attribution 3.0
I was so confused for a little bit because I clicked on a horror story video, zoned out, and zoned back into a story about 100,000 ducks.
And a 10'' pianist :)
You ever seen a duck. 100,000 of them showing up in a cramped bar is horrifying.
Relatable 😂
Same. I had to check the title. 😆
10" failed experiment
The banana execution joke made me laugh more than it probably should have at the punchline.
I don’t get it
@@mr.beaver5029electricity flows through materials that conduct well. The conductor (train operator) was a bad conductor (good insulator) so electricity didn't pass through him.
@@dneendcreeper3239 Oooooooh that makes sense
I got kicked out of a party for that joke.
My uncle has told me that one before so when I heard it start recognized it immediately
These are some of my favorite short jokes:
"An irish man walks out of a bar"
"A dislexic man walks into a bra"
"Why did the boy dropped his ice cream? He was hit by a bus"
"Why little Suzie fell off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Suzie"
"What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff."
"What's brown and sticky? A stick."
Those are still my cousin's favourites from when he was a kid. He's 40 and has three kids of his own.
edit: after seeing the "Cinderella at the ball" joke, I have another:
"What's pink and hard and you rub it in the bathroom? A bar of soap."
Ugh, these jokes remind me of the ones my highschool classmates used to tell.
"What's the green thing in the pool?
... a dead baby."
i am your 69th like
Joke for some Hearthstone gamers...
Patches goes to the bar
He orders a beer
Then ask how much he will pay.
Bartender says "No charge"
@@declanrodgers6995 this is the new default analogy over the see that man with no arms go tell him to clap but mom I’m blind one
Thumbnail: Pure horror
Real stories: haha funni and weird
What about that one guy who was f**king dead bodies, then his wife?
@@some1behindthescreen535 oh yeah that one’s hilarious 😂
@@Renegadeseer ah. At least you have a sense of humor.
Man: *crashes trains three times*
Also man: *survives every electric chair execution*
Well I don't know what to say, but I'm shocked
I hate that but good one.
Joseph Joestar?
Nice
Pun intended lol
@@lolaj9701 YES, I AM!
One of my favorite jokes (found on Reddit):
A battalion of the Soviet Red Army is setting up camp during the Winter War when a voice from beyond a hill shouts:
"1 Finn can take on 10 Soviets!"
The colonel, annoyed by this, sends 10 men over the hill. There's the sound of gunfire, then silence. After a while, the silence is broken by the same voice calling out:
"1 Finn can take on 50 Soviets!"
Angry, the colonel sends 50 men over the hill. There's even more gunfire, and then silence, which is soon broken by the same voice yelling:
"1 Finn can take on 100 Soviets!"
Infuriated, the colonel sends 100 men over the hill. There's even more gunfire, and silence. This time, however, one of the Soviet soldiers comes crawling back over the hill, barely alive. He warns the colonel:
"It's a trap! There's 2 of them!"
I dont get it
@@Ahmad_1799 One finn can take on 50 soviets. 50 x 2 = 100.
Here's mine from my youth
Blonde walks into a bar. Sees a short old man with a large frog on counter infront of him. A gorgeous redhead walks up to them. "BEER FOR THE FROG!!" As she kisses its head. The woman is confused but, some women cant hold their liquor 🤷♀️. This happens another 6 times. All gorgeous, voluptuous women. By now the blonde has had a few herself and her interest is piqued. She stumbles her way around the counter. "HEY,,hey why are they buying your toad beer?"
Oldman "well he's a frog and honestly miss...*whisper* he he eats 🐈 better than anyone"
BS! I dont believe that!
Well, i can show you. Hes got his own room upstairs. Drunk and obstinate she snorts her agreement. They walk upstairs. Oldman turns around"please miss lay there and lift your skirt. You can cover with that sheet" . The blonde does. Oldman sets his frog down with a grunt. Puts sheet over it. Nothing happens. "Cmon your making us look stupid! Are you serious?" With a sigh he removes frog from his way"okay...but this is LAST time i show you!"
@Ahmad--Edits he makes claims about what a single Finnish Soldier can do...but there's 2 of them
12:50 AM?Yeah sure scary stuff! (worth it though)
The moon lord brings memories
@@bodaciousdoggo8971 eye of cthulu all the way to moon lord
Oi its 9 pm here
Its 9 for me
1:06 am
My favorite joke: what do you call a man who lost his toe and got a rubber replacement?
Roberto
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying on the floor?
Matt
@themakerofbadvideos What do you call a girl who simps to her favorite anime boys? Me
@@coffeefighter7976 WAIT, You guys have crushes?
I dont. o-o
I came up with this horrible Dad joke a couple years back:
Q: What do you find on the sides of a cliff face?
A: Mountain-ears
No you didn’t that joke is old and it’s only one bang, one stab and one tank but
🤷🏻♂️
My Dad jokes:
What would happen if the ocean and a rope had a competition? They tied/tide!
What did the boat say to the Rock? Nothing. It just rocked.
What did the peanut say to the shoebox? Ab-sole-lutely Nut-thing
Why couldn’t the duck make it across the border?
Because he was smuggling quack
Markiplier with his story be like: So i was at this pizza place, and this animatronic rabbit kept trying to kill me
You still watch markiplier
@@midheelwhip I do
@@midheelwhip yes
@@midheelwhipyes
@midheelwhip Yes lol. What about it?
Questions I've received from the funnier side of my online tutorials:
"Like, how do I send you questions?"
"Do I have to know how to use a computer if I want to go into I.T.?"
"A job I want has a requirement that I must know the Word. What word do I need to know?"
Lol lately you don't need to know crap about computers to go into IT. just how to use excel and powerpoint heh
@@BeckBeckGo if you can use excel and Word you have a basic understanding of computers
@@BeckBeckGo That's so true. I just suddenly took an the IT tasks at work because the old IT guy quit and there is no one else to cover for him. I don't know much about Computers except how to use them. Everything else that I don't know, I at least know how to Google lol. Well, going through the stuff that needed to be done in the near future with the old guy, most of it I have actually done before, like browser settings, installing of programs, setup of printers, updates and just the basic task of wiring the hardware. And seeing my (especially older) colleagues, they don't even know how to setup a windows profile, or for that matter, move PC hardware to a new workplace. So insert "look at me, I am the new IT guy now" - meme, here lol
Oh? Somebody doesn't know the word. It's the bir- *Gunshot sound*
That last question, I would have replied with "You need to know the bird...because the bird is the word".
Can we all just appreciate the time rslash takes to walk to the perfect spot to make the echo sound
6:41 Rslash’s wife listening to him recording this part like 👁👄👁
A guy walks into an ice cream shop and approaches the counter:
Customer: Hey, could i get a scoop of chocolate ice cream?
Cashier: We're out of chocolate ice cream. is there something you'd like instead?
Customer: Oh, Okay. can i get 2 scoops, one vanilla one chocolate?
Cashier: Again, we are out of chocolate. We have vanilla and strawberry.
Customer: Oh, right. Can i get 3 scoops instead? One vanilla, one strawberry, one chocolate?
At this point, the cashier is getting annoyed with having to explain the lack of chocolate ice cream.
Cashier: Okay, can you do something for me? Can you spell 'van' as in 'vanilla' for me?
Customer: Huh? V-a-n?
Cashier: Now spell 'straw' as in 'strawberry'
Customer: S-t-r-a-w?
Cashier: Now spell 'fuck' like you'd spell it in 'chocolate ice cream'
Customer: Wait, what? There is no 'fuck' in chocolate ice cream
Cashier: That's what i'm trying to tell you!
"Nose exhales intensifies"
I don't get it.
OOOOOOOOOOO
@@photo_frames9438 It works better spoken I think.
"There's no fuck in ice cream"
"There's no fuckin ice cream"
@@MercuryA2000 Ohhhhhh oki
Here's mine:
So the year is 1942, and this young man gets enlisted into the army. Now, this man wasn't all that bright, but he miraculously made it through boot camp.
Now, let's flash forward to his first battle. As the boats hit the coast and the Allied soldiers started spilling out, the young man came to a horrifying realization: he left his rifle back at base!
He goes to his commanding officer, who was just about to charge into battle himself, and tells him "Um, sir, I left my rifle back at base."
The commander groans in frustration, but then he starts thinking. He looks around, and sees a broom. The commander grabbed the broom, and said "Here, if them Nazis get in your sight, point it at 'em and yell 'Bangity bang bang', got it?"
The dimwitted soldier nodded, but then raised a hand. "What about a bayonet, sir?"
The commanding officer hmmed and hmmed, then plucked one straw from the end of the broom, and fastened it to the opposite end. "Now, son, if them Nazis get too close for comfort, point that at 'em and yell 'Stabity stab stab'!"
The dumb soldier nodded, and charged into battle. He was scared by all the noise, so he did his best to hide.
As the battle raged on, the Allied forces were whittled down slowly until the dimwitted soldier was the only one left. He decided to swallow his fear, and finally pointed his broom at a Nazi, yelling "BANGITY BANG BANG!"
The Nazi falls dead.
As our lovably dumb soldier looks at his broom in disbelief, another Nazi charged at him, so he thrust the broom forward, yelling "STABITY STAB STAB!"
That Nazi falls dead as well.
The soldier was astonished that the broom actually worked! He began to mow down the Nazis with the cleaning instrument in an insane last stand!
"BANGITY BANG BANG!"
"STABITY STAB STAB!"
The Nazis are dropping like flies, until there's one left... and he's approaching our delughtfully dumb soldier veeeery slowly. Was he... muttering something? The soldier couldn't tell because of the crashing waves making noise.
"BANGITY BANG BANG!" the soldier yelled out, but the Nazi still approached.
The soldier was shocked. How was it failing?! Alright, maybe he just missed or something, so he decided to try again.
"BANGITY BANG BANG!"
The Nazi still approached, a sadistic smile growing on his face.
The dumb soldier charged at him, yelling "STABITY STAB STAB!" to no avail.
The Nazi clocked him in the head, burying him halfway into the sands, then stomped him down to finish the burial, all while repeating three words: "Tankity tank tank."
Tank
That was really bad
@@BenoitRAG3 Nah, I think I could appreciated the effort put into writing the story but
did op really just write a ww2 fanfiction
tf did i just read
Nice
@@reeession2192 a terrible ww2 fan fiction
5:47 for horror stories
You dropped this king 👑
An Irish man walks into a pub....
I like where this is going
But I think he wasn't going after that night
But not before a pint
12:33 the definition of "I'd kill for a bagel right now" lol
"OH MY GOD WHAT THE F- Our next episode is from user..."
Deceased 🤣🤣🤣
The dead sex disease is gonna hunt my dreams forever.
Edit I meant haunt lol
We going dream hunting
Life is short, but herpes is forever!
Dead sex disease:loads shotgun
There's a movie like that. Contracted is the name. Pretty much zombie std.
Richtofen: Wait, when did i last slept?
Bad conductor: I’m just a bad conductor
Me: shakes head in disappointment
I'm half asleep, check my phone and almost had a heart attack because of the thumbnail lol my tired ass thought it was from my security camera notification lol
Omg Lmaoo
The dude with the bananas should have ordered a 5 course meal smh
Anyone else think that the native child was a ghost at first and the store was built on an ancient Indian burial ground like in horror movies?
Uhhhhh, Indians don't bury they burn the bodies of the dead.
@@photo_frames9438
That very much depends on the tribe. You can’t assume that every single group of people is the same just because they have a similar skin color. The tribes of North America didn’t even share the same housing types between tribes as cultures vary by tribe
@@justicedunham4088 Oh you mean those indians I thought you meant the asia country if india
But, I just realised you meant the native american indians
nope, noone with a brain did
When Rslash screamed across his room "Where's the dick cream?!" Died 🤣 to be fair if the thing is embarrassing i personally wouldn't want to shout it and will approach someone and ask quietly lmfao 😂🤣 even during the now days.
Timestamp plz
@@woahzers 6:42
@@woahzers watch the video smh
@@notaplic8158 it was night when I said that
XD
I want a compilation of stories where Rslash does the yelling down the hall bits. I laugh so hard every time! Rslash thank you for going above and beyond for those stories, call back to the bank one where a guy who was a teller was yelled at by his boss for not being cheerful enough and scared everyone-rslash did it perfectly! where's his oscar?
Hearing Rslash scream "WHERE'S THE DICK CREAM?" was absolutely the highlight of my day.
I can’t believe nobody said “So I was working the night shift at Chuck E Cheese’s”
That’s because those that know either die or live under the threat of death if they confess
Joke of the day:
Why did the doofus get fired from the M&M factory?
*Because he threw away the W's!*
This video is made for me
Hehe hehe HAHA HAHA
Yeah this video is your vid
are you a dad or something?
@@adamtichy8008 no but basically
My grandpa is gonna like that "10 inch pianist" joke 😂
Another joke of the day (inspired by “everyday jokes”)
Teacher: ok class! What comes before 2?
Class: 1
That one kid: “World war”
The class : 😱
Hahaha
Ha
Ha.........?
I'm laughing out loud. Right now. Can you hear me? Haha.
Here's a good joke:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."
Watson: "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
Holmes: "Watson, you idiot, it means somebody's stolen our tent!"
Good one.
Once you said “wifi goes down” my video started buffering. Oh that’s rich isn’t it
that morgue one is literally how a horror movie started; a guy who works in a morgue violated a corpse without protection, then hooked up with a girl and did the deed also without protection, then the girl started to rot from the inside and developed a hankering for human flesh
Contraction and they made a sequel. Soon as I heard that I thought bs that's a movie. Zombie std lol.
"oh, you think I wanted a 10" pianist"
hahaha, funny pp joke, sadly toasters (in their toaster form) don't have a pp.
i mean they might they have to get there power *somehow*
Yeah no that joke was lame
Wait... You have a different form than this ? My nan didn't tell me that !!!
Here's my Horror Story:
A man comes walking into the restaurant while we had the inside closed to customers. The manager asked him to step outside to take his order because he couldn't get his trailer through the drive through. He then started screaming about calling the cops. I was still rather new to the job, so this terrified me. I still work there to this day.
I love these videos when playing my games
Lol I “loved” working night shifts at a gas station. We got all the “fun” people. I had a young woman ask for straight up blunts one time and I live in a state where weed is still illegal, so it was fun.
And then god's voice boomed across the landscape.
"John, come fourth and recieve eternal life in heaven"
John came fifth and won a toaster.
YAAAAAAY!!!! I LOVE these types of stories RSlash!! I hope you do some more r/letsnotmeet stories too! I love the variety, all the choosing beggars and Karen/Kevin stories are good too but it’s starting to skew my perception of people and make me hyper aware of situations thinking “could this be RSlash material?” 😂😂😂
What's the difference between a car and a toilet?
One you sit for running and the other you run for sitting
When I was in high school I had a history teacher tell that train conductor joke but he made it last the entire class, he told it very serious and people were taking notes, like it was going to be a test on how well we paid attention, and at the end he said the punchline and we were all just left sitting there...like what? Then he cracked up and the bell rang.
Literally any entitled brat watching this:Ahhhh mommy im scarred!!.
Entitled mom:starts berating the phone.
"SIR! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SCARING MY BABY?!?!?"
A seal walks into a bar
Barman: What you want ?
Seal: Anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks..
I wish we had the old rslash back. The one that could say these naughty words
RUclips would demonitize him and he won't get money sadly T-T but I feel ya
Just confused why he said dick but vagina was blocked out and skipped. But yea, demonitization sucks.
He could but would get no more youtube money
My cousin who worked as a late shift nurse was in the room when a woman's dead baby was being delivered and as the doctor had the head in his hands it came off. My cousin threw up then had to turn around and help the doctor deliver the rest of the baby. Freaky things almost as bad as that (and sometimes worse ) happen all the time we usually don't hear about them.
"A man and a whale walk into a bar"
"The man says nothing"
"The whale says eEEaaaAAaAooOH"
And that's the joke
Its bad
@@BenoitRAG3 yeah
Love the fact that a desk clerk's response to a DV victim is basically, "DV victims aren't welcome at this hotel!"
These aren't scary night shift stories they're just puns and jokes where are my spookies???????
5:47
@@yellowmello1223 thanks friendo
@@yellowmello1223 thank u
Did you not listen to the very first thing Rslash said? 😂
We have TWO Ask Reddit questions for you
I just started my job at a hospital about 2 months ago. I work as a Phlebotomist (I draw blood).
I was working my very first graveyard shift by myself. And over the time leading up to that shift, I've been hearing how certain places in the hospital are haunted -- including our Lab. I was told to NEVER take a certain shortcut to the ICU. But because the test on the patient was timed, the shortcut would have been a major time saver. So as I was going from the ICU to the Lab. I decide to take the short cut.
As I was traversing the hallways from the ICU to the main hallway leading to the Lab, I see a wheelchair, casually roll out in my direction. The hairs on my body stand up. And I shake my head, turn around, and say "This ain't worth it".
I take the long way back to the lab.
If it's Tim Horton's, which I'm guessing it is, French Toast bagel. SO GOOD. I would consider threatening people to get one.
How about a combo story?
Was working the night shift at Toys R Us and we played a prank on a coworker. He was working alone in the upstairs storage area and we put an R/C vehicle up there with an empty cardboard box covering it. From a distance we watched and every time he turned his back to the box, we moved it very slightly. He could hear the box slide on the concrete floor but couldn't figure out what was making it. As the tension built and he started to narrow down the location of the noise we had the box charge at him full speed. It was a shame that this was before camera phones cause our descriptions of his shriek could never really do it justice.
Better joke: An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Just so everyone knows, that maggot in the vagina story is just an urban legend. It has been spread since the 70's and possibly even earlier. A Swedish folklorist wrote about that story in a book and his version it took place in Sweden and I've heard variations of it from other countries too. Plus actual gynecologists has confirmed that it's impossible to get maggots that way
fun fact: facts aren't fun
The banana joke: Thats Dark. like. Really Really Dark.
How, I don't understand?
Dark humor is like food, not everybody gets it
The coroner story is an urban legend repeated by everyone everywhere.
Oh my good freaking f**k.
That's the most insane thing I've ever heard. This was the best video ever!! I had 😱😧😖 faces the whole time LOL!
Two guys are sitting in the top floor of a two story bar, one says that, for a beer, he bets he can jump out the window, hover there for a second, and pull himself back in. The other guy takes the bet and the man does it. The other guy asks how and the guy replies “Oh, it’s because of how the wind hits the building. If you time it right you can hover for a second.” The other dude tries it and smacks straight into the ground. The bartender mumbles “Superman is an asshole when drunk.”
ohh boy i mm ready for this one...
R/slash screaming across the room is always hilarious.
Ok, I'm all alone in my room. Lets turn the lights off and watch Rslash and Rage at entitled parents.
**Sees Title*
Ok r/ask reddit is not bad
**see Thumbnail*
Now I cant sleep!
Thanks Rslash!
I worked in the dementia ward of an elderly care facility at night. All the residents were like living poltergeists especially on full moon nights. One night I came in around 2am for a half shift and heard one of our wheelchair bound residents screaming from his room. All the other PCAs(Personal Care Assistants) were avoiding even looking at the resident's door. I snapped at someone and went to check. What I walked into was like hell on earth.
The smell hit me about 15 feet from the door and I rushed in to find this poor elderly gentleman stuck on his back like a big old turtle in a literal bog of his own liquid feces. He was crying and begging for help. I called for help but no one came so I had to dead lift this man out of bed and drag him to the bathtub where I cleaned him and then called maintenance to get him a new mattress. It took around 4 hours and I didn't get any of my other work done. I was fired the following week for "neglecting my duties" and "having an attitude with my coworkers". I'm positive that place will go down for elderly neglect and abuse but Jesus christ that was a scary night.
Looking looking looking... Finally
for some reason the guy screwing the dead bodies reminded me about a guy who used someones tow hitch as a butt plug
Nobody:
My uncle in the thumbnail waiting for me to undress:
I once worked at a convenience store and sometimes I worked night shift. During the night, it was a continuous parade of what I called “freaks of the night”. The “freaks” tended to disappear after sunrise, and then the “decent people” started coming in. One thing I noticed was that if I had a partner that night, they would leave at 5am. If there was a security guard, they would leave at 5am as well. The manager wouldn’t arrive until 7am. I asked if security guards could at least stay until sunrise but was given some kind of excuse as to why they couldn’t stay past 5am. So that 5am to 7am gap was a window that thieves could take advantage of. And that’s when holdups did take place, but fortunately not when I was scheduled to work.
To the pianist joke (and I hope someone gets this): Goodnight Everybody!
The second was a joke my dad used to tell us, I really miss him. Thanks for that, it brought up great memories.
Thanks for being so early!
My favorite joke is "What's the cheapest kind of meat, Dear ball's there under a buck!"
Early post today? Sweet
The reason why I finally decided to make the step to posting directly on Reddit was because of all the time I spend listening to compilation channels like yours. When I saw how many people read and updooted my rattlesnake story, I was kinda hoping to see it here someday. Thank you, rSlash!
hi rSlash
Brazillian here, can confirm the history is as ridiculous as it's most likely real, considering the weird shit that happens here
Im finally early
Same
I've never been early before sweet
@@LinkOT5927 me 4
Same
Ummm 10th time? 20th i dunno, im up at 6am tho
7 am: first customer of the day freaks out because we don't carry what he wants, says he'll be waiting for me out in the parking lot.
7 pm: he's still there.
Imagine being first HA!
Ur not tho
@@katiebrooks9702 i know im not im just makin a joke
Joke:
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Someones early
To add to the post about the rattlesnake:
most baby rattlers a) can’t/don’t regulate their venom (survival tactic) and b) don’t have a fully developed rattle. Biologically they’re just as dangerous as adults, but babies can’t warn you they’re there, which means you might not find them until it’s too late.
tl;dr: if you’re in an area with rattlesnakes, learn when hatching season is and be aware of babies trying to defend themselves. they’d rather use their venom on food than you
Pp poopooo
Me, who ONLY works the night shift and is probably the most paranoid person you'd ever met and has almost called the PD multiple times because I was too scared to walk to the dumpster alone: yeah, this is a great idea to watch this. I'll be fine.
0:29 That's "good conscience."
Thanks for all your work on these videos! :)
to quote an abridged series "This is your Neighborhood Watch Committee here to remind you necrophilia is still illegal."
Here's a joke
A Priest, a Minister and a rabbit walk into a bar. They sidle up to the bar as the bartender walks over. "What can I get for you Father?" Asks the bartender
"Rum and Coke please" responds the Priest
The bartender pours his drink and looks to the Minister. "What will you be drinking?"
"Whiskey neat" responds the Minister.
"Here you go" says the bartender as he hands him his drink.
The bartender looks curiously at the rabbit and asks "What brings you in tonight?"
The rabbit replies "autocorrect"
My favorite joke of all time:
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never paid an extra 50 bucks to have a garbanzo bean in my face.
My husband worked these 24 hour shifts in a military prison as a prison guard. All of his friends insisted it was haunted. He didn't believe them until one night when he was staring out the window and began focusing on his reflection and then realized it wasn't his reflection and that the face was smiling back a huge grin 2 inches from his face. He fell out of his chair got up looked again and it was gone. Almost every night since then he noticed more disturbances.
You don’t want to try that bagel... it changes you man
The best joke I know:
I ran out of coffee filters, so I had to use pages from a copy of Shakespeare. Now I have "The Tempest" in a teapot. There's trouble brewing.
"The woman that tried to stab me with a plastic spoon because I refused to give her a metal one"
Seems like you made the right choice then!
Imagine all those night shift stories, picture it happening to emergency workers on the regular, and you suddenly have so much more respect for what their jobs entail.
Unless you're the cause of their gruesome experiences, or a generally ignorant and unsympathetic person.
What's round and mean?
A vicious circle.
I need to stop falling asleep to these.
90% of the time, it ends with me irritated, angry, appalled, horrified, laughing my ass off, or all of them, however that works.
That electric chair joke was beyond funny lol
That toothbrush one hahaha. I can't even imagine telling that as an 11 year old.
I could! Kids are pretty smart! My brother heard a line from a cowboy movie and so he decided to say it in front of my mom....this was the line: “I feel like a fucker, a fighter and a wildhorse rider, yeehaw!!!”
My brother was 5 at the time! 🤣😂🤣😂
@@bellerain381 ahhhhhhh 🤣 🤣 🤣
I used to work in a group home. The place was ideal for ghosts; the only characteristic missing was someone dying in the house. The place had plenty of negative energy from previous trauma, and abuse.
We had a ghost. Lots of little spooky things would happen; thing would move unexpectedly, the motion lights would trigger, the house would creak; all things that could be explained by a big old house in the country. In the night things would just hit the walls all over the house. It wasn't the boys, it wasn't animals; I spent hours investigating, sometimes it would happen in front of me. Not like little hits, like someone was trying to break through with a hammer. The back door would also open then slam; the nob and lock could be heard turning, it would open, and then slam like it was hit by high wind.
My night shift horror story: I work in the ER at my hospital. We used to turn almost all of the lights off if we had zero patients. When that happened, you could see on the ER Nurse's Desk camera a white figure hovering and working at the ER Nurse's Station. The good news is that it's really just a trick of the lights the way the light hits the camera lens, but it's still kind of creepy.
I like how these are supposed to be night shift horror stories and yet we don't have a single night shift horror story
When I was a kid I heard a joke at school and thought it was hilarious. Came home and told my mom. Expected her to laugh. Instead she looked scandalized and demanded to know where I'd heard it. Joke went like this:
Man walks into a pet store and sees a parrot. Asks whether it can talk or not. Pet shop owner says no, it can't talk, but it does sing. Interested, the man asks for a demonstration. Shop owner pulls out a lighter and holds it to the left of the parrot. Parrot begins to sing, "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!" Shop owner holds the lighter to the right of the parrot and the parrot begins to sing, "Dashing through the snow, on a one horse open sleigh!"
Impressed, the man buys the parrot and takes it home. Shows it to his wife, who proceeds to ask for a demonstration. He shows what the parrot can do. Then, out if curiosity he holds the lighter underneath the parrot. To his surprise the parrot begins to sing again, but a different song. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire!"
I was in graduate school. I needed to make some extra money so I began looking for a third shift job. My plan was to work overnight, then sleep until noonish. I would then go to Campus, study & go my night time classes.
I went to interview to be a night clerk at a hotel. I thought that would be an easy third shift job. Then the manager told me that it was a very busy time. He also said that people mostly paid in cash. I then thought, “ah, that kind of hotel”.
I impressed the manager & he offered me the job. Even more surprising was that the pay was $5 above minimum wage. The manager then told me that the hotel even provided the money to get qualified to have a permit to carry a firearm. He saw my facial expression but misunderstood my reaction. He said, “don’t worry the hotel provides you your gun.
I declined his generous offer. I later learned that because of the high cash volume “business” at the hotel management decided to merge security guard job with that of night clerk. I wanted to earn money but not by becoming Wyatt Earp.
Months later I did talk to a local cop. He told me that they knew what was going on but shutting the place down was a long & complicated process. Several years later the area got gentrified & the hotel was torn down.
In the end I did find a part time job....but that’s a very different sort of story...