26/04/2013 Tight Ass Team Takes Shape

This Friday Rub clip features JB, Duke, Garry, Chief and Damo with more nominations for the Tight Ass team of the century. Daniel "Sauce" Merrett has gone in as full back and Scott Maginness is now Vice Captain. Nick Holland was nominated in the forward pocket by David Loats, which makes the Hawthorn representatives close to 10. Chief doesn't argue the point and even thinks "Dutchy" still has the first dollar he ever earned. Ouch. Chief throws Ben Dixon under the bus for booking things to other people's hotel rooms when traveling. Duke also brings up Nathan Buckley after Garry nominated him on behalf of Paul Licuria (he wouldn't make a good journo by giving up his source quickly). But then Chief goes where no one would have guessed -- he nominates James Hird. According to Duke, Hirdy once bought 15 beers for him and some footy identities, and charged it to the room of Eddie Maguire. Not expecting the woman to say the name, Hird had a chuckle when he saw Duke heard the shifty he pulled. He's not done though, as Duke brings up an email sent to the Rush Hour clowns from a consortium of Dogs players that were unhappy with Duke throwing them in as tight asses. Listen to the Chief laughing his guts out when Garry refers to Mark Alvey as Stan Alvey. Apparently Brad Johnson will never speak to Duke again and Chief finds that hilarious too. Someone then brings up a team of players that like to bend the truth, and listen to how quick Damo throws in Spud -- another sure sign that Purple is happy with his courage. Then we get onto a series of texts sent from McKernan to JB. He must have had nothing on as he is continually feeding them as the segment goes on. Firstly he says thanks for the nomination with a bunch of expletives and then demands to know who lagged him in. But before his next one, a tweeter writes that he had to re-paint half of Scott Maginness' parents house for free, showing he can't help being a tight ass because he got it from his parents. Next is further evidence that James Hird is a tight ass, as he once haggled $12 of mussels down to $10. It doesn't stop there. "Fish" Salmon texts Chief with information that Hirdy was an expert early-shout master where he'd shout the group before it got too big, and would also time his toilet run at restaurant bill time perfectly. Hird is officially on the flank. I love how he keeps saying he's not happy with reading them out, yet he feels he has to. The coach is still unnamed and apparently Damo had some inside information on how it would be, but when they all turn to him, he goes silent and refuses to reveal, prompting some of the most outrageous screams from the boys, especially after he's claimed all night that he's happy with this courage. Corey McKernan chimes back in, telling Purple their friendship is done after finding out the source of his nomination. So, the updated team is thus:
B: Luff, Daniel Merret, Jared Crouch
HB: Andy Otten, ___, Scott Magginess (VC)
C: Wojack, Tony Shaw, Deledio
HF: Brad Johnson, Corey McKernan, James Hird
F: Nick Holland, Paul Salmon, Russell Greene (All Hawks forward line)
R: Scott Wynd, Brent Harvey, Kieran Jack
Int: David Hale, __, ___, __
Coach: ___
Doc: Peter Larkins
Apparently there's an events manager position open as well. I'm not sure what they're getting at with that one so if anyone knows, jump in and let us know. I just love how Duke says Garry has single-handedly driven the whole thing but will not stick his neck out, nor take any opportunity. And Jim points out that Warren Tredrea was in, but was removed after just ten minutes with the Wolf. Back to Corey's texts and he throws in an almost-untouchable in Jason McCartney, seconded by Purple! Who's going in as commentators to call this team? Well now it's up to the boys to start nominating some tight ass commentators and who gets a mention? THE DRINK STEALER! Yes, though we have no idea who it is, it's been confirmed it is a commentator. So desperate to find out who it is. I'm thinking Damo is serious when he says there's real legal obstacles on the naming of that one. Then Jim points out an anomaly. Almost every club is represented or has been suggested, but Melbourne seems to be slim on that front. Until Rod Grinter comes up (the guy in the photo with a young Garry. Listen to how quick Gaz backs away from that one when his name comes up (and who wouldn't, with a face like that?) even suggesting he will come and belt the door to the studio down seeking retribution. Bernie Vince throws in Ben Rutten. One final text from Corzer: Mick Martyn would have shouted everyone, but no one could understand him. Harsh!
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[@shaunstelfox1718]

This needs a reunion

[@markuswilmes3694]

Brent Harvey

[@gbtrat]

Need a new one for the 21st century.

[@matthewmarkiewicz]

Whole Collingwood team in Adelaide at Gauchos?

[@Immo324]

Who was the drink stealer?

[@Carlos1833]

Not sure they ever named them

[@shauncobain6271]

@@Carlos1833 definitely Rex Hunt

[@seanoreilly1832]

I've heard Rex hunt and Steven Quartermaine ... who knows

[@michaeltomlinson6833]

It was Brian, they strongly hint at it in Spuds tribute show

[@Immo324]

@@michaeltomlinson6833 haha serious?