Understanding The Wife's Code. Jeff Allen - Full Special
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- Опубликовано: 16 май 2024
- Husbands will never win arguments with their wives, and as long as everyone knows that, everyone will be happy. If you liked this full comedy special from Jeff Allen, you'll probably like all of Dry Bar Comedy's other specials. You can check them all at for free right now on the Dry Bar Comedy App, available now on all iOS and Android devices.
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This isn't a comedy set, it's a lecture on life that's funny as hell.
Intelligent Clean Comedy!!! 💜💜💜
Clean comdey! He went through some tough times in his life. But he is a genius!
So true. 😄
And yet if the truth be known it's the husband who identifies with this guy's wife attitude. I lived it.
It’s real life.
I've only been married for 29 years but can FULLY relate to everything he says.
I am sitting here crying while laughing...but mostly crying.
Kai Peterson 😳😳😳🥶😆
You happy then? 😁
He speak nothing but the truth. I have been married for over 20 years.
Yeah, see, that [this] is my issue too: I’m spending more time rubbing my chin in contemplation than rubbing my chest & ribs in respiratory complications with this guy, ahaha.
PS: not even American & only hit 30 and, from my own childhood that was somewhere “in between yesterday and today” (ie all these changes - born 1990, ya know~), between my own pops and mother, and urging myself climbing trees with my friends in my street and the streets next-door, (and my partnership of 10 years - slovenly as can be, I’ll admit, aha), he really hit the nail in the head on everything. Frankly: as much as I laughed, I reminisced much more-and I wondered ‘just as much’ about how different life is going to be for my future (yet-to-be) children and whether I’ll “wrap them up in styrofoam” or if I’ll instead be “criticised as a terrible guardian” or something - cos I want my kid to.... well, I don’t want them to have fractured bones or a crushed toe like I did, but I want them to ‘learn’. Scrapes, cuts, some bruises, playing with sticks, learning from the older kids and teaching the younger kids, playing board games, kicking a ball around, and even just ‘inventing dumb games to play’, ... if my kid ends up glued to a smartphone instead of ‘looking like a dickhead just to Rollerscate’, .... then I dunno if having a kid is even a good idea for them. All that stuff, it’s what makes life (for a kid) fun...
Depressing, ahaha. A comedian with the real truths.
Only???😂😂
JEFF ALLEN SHOULD BE REQUIRED WATCHING FOR EVERY COUPLE IN MARRIAGE COUNSELING. SO FUNNY AND DEAD ON!!!
I don’t know why he got 1.2K dislikes. He is fabulous.
I'm dead from laughter over here....
It all helps with algorithms.
they were from millennials most likely..lol
@@shirleyminassian1547 the interesting thing is it all goes to her reach more people the more likes or dislikes help with algorithms.
@@shirleyminassian1547 still 😔
"I'm just practicing leaving for golf." 🤣
I like comedians who actually have comedic talent and don’t rely on vulgar language to carry their act. I’m not a prude, just sick of the same garbage comedians are passing off as talent. This guy is great.
I just had my my thyroid ripped out so I finally have that 2nd 😃 right in the middle of my neck Lol!! Fwded to the sister who always had a slow thyroid!
mike styles Absolutely!
@Regular Slime Mine was super fast and made my voice hoarse. Mine was done by a surgeon. She's funny. They always make women wait and rush men in for surgery. I'm finally sounding like a girl again.
Cats3to2 I would hope you had your thyroid removed by a surgeon. Anything or anyone else and it would have been horrifying.
I don't think they're allowed to swear in this venue.
"If you're taking notes, that would be the wrong answer"
How can you not love Jeff Allen???
Just pick up the doggone shorts
There is a God.. I saw the 1st few minutes of this one day on my way home from work. Nearly cried hysterical. Lost it, could not find it, not even in my history feed. BUT, then I come back across it on my parents 52nd anniversary. I showed it to them, we all laughed. Thx Mr Allen. Blessed memory.
Married for 38 years and also a " Papa " to my grandson. The best comedy speaks truth. I've never laughed so hard in my life.
My parents are married 50 years so i concure lol
Now THIS is comedy. He's awesome!
this is documentary..., sadly...
I'll click the like button for you, but then somebody has to click the like button for me.
I love him. Sadly, he is CORRECT.
@@peteroz7332 I was married for over 20 years and this is the sad reality of marriage. Now I am single and happy.
@@edithdlp8045 I concur, sad reality, I was married for 15years, it ended in '17. the final hearing and settlement/judgment happened on 14.Feb, 🤔😲 of all days
I’m 22 and I’m so happy this channel exists
"What am I raising, a moron?!"
"I could see why you'd think that."
😆💀
I haven't laughed this hard for this long in years. I had to hit pause to get my inhaler.
Please take care.
Greg hardy fan eh?
@@randyporter3491 both you niggas need to get on an inhale corticosteroid asap
"Dying laughing" it's a thing lol. Take care of yourself now
@KC woah... easy there Boomer.
Jeff Allen is hilarious.
Dry Bar Comedy really has some good comedians on.
I'm baffled to find out lately that you're right. Whatever I click on is good. wtf
Makes me almost want to visit Provo.
"I heard a noise. Heres your spine, go check it out" yup, sounds about right. They must learn things like that in their secret womans room meetings.
So true. 😄
Unless you click on certain comments with foul language. 😖😱😬😝
Comedians are like a fine wine!....the older, the better!....love this guys comedy!....Laughed till I teared up! ❤️
This guy is the perfect TV dad; he needs his own show.
I would watch it. Great suggestion.
This guy's the diametric opposite of george carlin: married, has at least 1 adult child, shamelessly christian, & doesnt talk politics. Just everyday life with the wife, a 26 y.o. son who's a vet, the dog, a grandchild & his neigbors
@@magnificentmuttley154You can see the difference between someone who has Jesus and someone who doesn't
This is my kind of humor. Dry, sarcastic, deadpan & clean! 😁 He's the best I've seen in a long while.
I've watched him in all different places and love what he does. Good, clean, funny stories about life. I'll watch these shows
all over again....they make me laugh!!!
@@joanware9532 I've used to live in Nashville, but never really put in the work to find out where he was performing. Now I'm kicking myself 😫
💯% agreed. This guy's the diametric opposite of george carlin: married, has at least 1 adult child, is a shameless christian & doesnt talk politics. Just everyday life with the wife, a 26 y.o. son who's a vet, the dog, a grandchild & his neigbors
Everyone here would enjoy brad upton, if you dont already know about him. He's another dry bar comic, too
"You know what we had for sunscreen? _DIRT._ All over my face & washed down my throat with a garden hose. Go take a bath, change into my pajamas & into the bed. No problem- - look how i turned out!"
On children's car seats: "I paced the back seat when I was 4. When my mom hit the brakes hard & I did fall into the front seat. Just like a trout shed throw me right back: 'Whaddaya doing up here, get back THERE.' " Classic boomer & genX childhood stuff 🤣🤣🤣
@@magnificentmuttley154 Carlin was married and had a daughter. I stopped liking Brad when I found out he loves trump. Sorry, you can't be a Christian and a MAGA cultist at the same time.
@@Mozart1220 Ok, I got some misinfo on Carlin there. But I didnt bother to read his bio, either... 🥴🥴 Concerning Trump & anything politics, I try to stay away from that
Unfortunately most churches are heavy into politics, & encourage their flock to vote. But theyre observing the parts of the Bible they like, & ignoring other parts of it. Like where Jesus says "They are no part of the world just as I am no part of the world." Sure, we must respect the superior authorities (Romans 13), & Jesus did pay his taxes. But we are citizens of God's Kingdom. That means I am a Christian first, but I am an American citizen by a distant second
I hope this makes sense, bc I dont want to get into another heated discussion with anyone over politics & religion again. Just however you may differ with my position here, I must respect your beliefs, nevertheless. Let's stop being like the very unchristian world surrounding us, & show that we can still respect one another & practice neighborly love
This guy is wonderful. A real story teller and with genuine wit and charm.
So true. 😄
I do a similar bit.... I'm divorced and loving it!!!
😂💖💖
The day my granddaughter looked at my daughter and said, "Whatever". I laughed as my daughter cringed. First time ever she apologized to me.
I'm 36 and my child is 2. I've apologized to my mom at least three times in the last year alone 🤣
If my mom was still alive, I'd be apologizing.
Congratulations papa bear!
😀
Yup I have a teenager now and I have been apologizing to my parents lately then complain about him doing to me what I did to them 😂😂😂
I am still waiting for this day to come. I am patient. 😅
It took me an hour and thirty minutes to complete this special, I had to pause and laugh for 30 mins straight!!!!
Give this man a Netflix special!
For real!
Yes he needs it!
Yes, definitely!!!
Yes please!
For sure. This needs to be broadcast
6:40 - 6:56 I didn’t expect that popsicle joke to come full circle.. this guy is talent. I’m here just amazed. No comedian ever gets an “amazed” reaction from me.. this is new. This guy is amazing. Hilarious.
Wow, that one went right past me. I thought he meant the son would move out if there were no Fudgesicles to eat. 🙄
So glad the video finished. Now I can breathe. Mrs asked what I was watching. “Nothing dear”. Brilliant.
This guy is proof positive that humor has no age. This is hilarious and I wish only great things for Jeff.
This guy is a genius with observational humor.
This was hilarious. I wish I could click the like more than once.
Create a lot of accounts
Make alot of account and like it i did I made like 500k accounts
You could share the video 🙂
just make sure it‘s an odd number of times ;)
I was actually checking if this is possible and then my brain checked in
Great comic. He's got it all. Tells the truth and works clean. Awesome stage presence. If there were Oscars for comics, he'd deserve one. I do stand-up and what an inspiration Jeff Allen is. //Ellen Orchid
How can anyone dislike this guy, he’s hysterical?!!!!😂😂😂😂😂
The audience got its money's worth.
Really, man. This guy was great!
Yes they did 😂
He’s great.
LOL ALL THE WAY
No doubt, pure gold
"You create something in your own image who then denies your existence." Yep, the devil was probably 16 years old when he rebelled! LOL!
You never met the son of my brother lol
Sharon Cochran I'm not religious, but that made me crack up so hard 🤣
@Matthew Allen what? Firstly, that isn't what jealousy is. Second, someone's loyalty or affection is never something "rightfully belong to you". You earn those attributes. And jealousy in relationships is also a toxic response, it's not the "correct way to feel". Not in a healthy relationship anyways
@Matthew Allen forgive me but I do not believe in your god, so that discussion is irrelevant here. My points were towards your incorrect definitions of jealousy vs coveting, and your ideas of loyalty and love being "owed" to you. Relationships, including marriage, takes constant work and effort from both parties to remain healthy. I'm not here to discuss who's at fault in a failed marriage, but merely to say that you arent "owed" any form of continued loyalty or affection if you yourself dont also continue to put in the work. (I use "you " pronouns, but I dont mean you personally, rather a general blanket audience. Obviously I dont know you.) As per cheating, while jealousy is definitely a natural feeling, it's not neccesarily the "correct " one; "correct" being replaceable with "healthy". Anger does bad things to a person's judgment, and has a tendency to lead people down the road of revenge in that scenario.
@@umbranox6891 great commentary. Spot on. Let the haters hate. You speak from the heart. Who ever created us, if there was a creator, knew we are flawed, & cant pass judgment on us. The creator needs to be a better role model or us. Perhaps social media may inform this creator? 🤔
Those people got their money's worth. I love this guy. I have watched this episode more than a dozen times!!
He belongs to the generation that actually LIVED the lives.
Yep those were simpler times! Stresses in a relationship become memories worth laughing about later
Wish I could invite this man to dinner & hear more of his classic observations. A
Very likable persona.
@@rhonda.mwerner2562 I couldn't agree with you more. If couples do not take every harsh word to heart. They can rationaly see the pettiness of the quarrle, & realize, it's okay to be heated up without burning the romance out. It shows safety & security in their relationship when they're not affraid to speak up about how they are feeling (at the time). My wife of 32 years passed away on 9/25/20. I'd give anything to have her express herself loudly. I need her & her voice back. I'm broken inside.
Without helmets or seatbelts and lived to tell about it!🤔😷🇨🇦
I’m younger than him but blessed to have been born early enough to enjoy a rich and free childhood like he described.
"Let's see how they like it to create a being who denies their existence" 😂
"Is that Ebola? I haven't had that one yet!"
Lmao
A genuinely funny man, real wit, warmth, and impeccable timing. Thanks for the upload.
I've seen almost every Jeff Allen clip on this channel, and i gotta say, what i like most about him is his delivery. There's just something about it that's unique from others.
I was laughing so hard at the bit about Tammy falling asleep to Law & Order I was almost crying 😭
...you've been there before... 😉😁😎 ROFL
My hubby can’t understand how I fall asleep listening to “Forensic Files”!
That's my wife on so many shows and movies.
I am sitting here dying of laughter with tears rolling down my face...I remember the good old days of playing outside all day when I was a kid....Riding in the back of my dad's truck ...Good times...
Amen Ma'am, AfekkingMen :)
Hello, Beautiful 😘Rachael ♥️
We had fun.
We made it.
Loved those 'mile high' metal slides!
@@american6183 Those were fun!
OMG this guy is the bomb. He should have his own show - Everybody Loves Jeff. (just saying)
This man is outstanding! I could listen all day!!
This old dude is classic funny. Amazing with no bad words!
there are no "bad" words... its how people use them that can be good or bad depending on circumstance. And if someone feels they should raise a kid without ever hearing those words is like telling the kid that life is fair, ill preparing it for the truth when they ll face it
@@galadballcrusher8182 you know what i mean. his wording is very clean.
So funny!!! I'm 60 and I know exactly what he's talking about! Love your comedy!!! Please do more! BE SAFE,GOD BLESS!
“I heard something downstairs, go look.”
“Equal rights, it’s your turn. Holler if there’s more than one.”
But it's so sexy having a man to do it!
😂👌🏻
@@misfitbrit1989 it's sexy if the woman cooks
@@misfitbrit1989 is
Best comedian I've heard in a long time can't believe I laughed so much and he never said a bad word, now I have to find more videos of him
I’ve seen him for years and he is hilarious and clean! Something most comics can’t do because it takes way smarter writing! Fantastic!
Never heard of this guy. Sat down thinking I was gonna have a quick chuckle, and ended up watching the whole thing!
"I heard that you're fat, and WE'RE joining a gym." did he use that on a special years ago, or is that a street joke?
Genuinely enjoyed the set, but that line stuck out to me.
@@LovesmyKimmy They're re-uploading old stuff, so this might be from a couple years ago
@@LovesmyKimmy he has used a lot of material for years now. Still funny with his delivery
Funny is funny. Whether it's clean or dirty. Being dirty isn't easier. It's just a different style. Get off your high horse, and stop pretending that clean comedy is harder. It isn't.
By the way, there was a guy that used to berate dirty comics for their style. He happened to be a cereal rapist!
Check yourself...
He is absolutely fantastic. His sense of comedy makes me smile. This is how comedy should be.
This is how life should be !!! XD
@@sobreaver Amen!
😂 dying. "She'd toss me into the back like a trout" Truth!
He is awesome! So good to see Christian comics represented.
Jeff Allen, you are now one of my most favorite comedians!! So much good stuff!!! 😂 😂
"I'm going bowling, Columbo!"
The audience got its money's worth.
😂
This is masterpiece. The best ever I could say. No vulgar words, very educative, straight to the point.
Jeff Allen: “what do you want woman?”
My wife(sitting next to me): we don’t know what we want 😂😂😂
I was sick with a chesty cough and ended up with a headache watching this. I haven't laughed this much in decades :-)
He's hilarious
"Dreams are the engine that will drive you through your life and prayer is the fuel that drives the engine..." You sir have taught me in one sentence what my father didn't teach me his entire life. You're awesome!
I'm sure that you are awesome too. 🙂
He is an eloquent artist of words!
Amen sir!
Oh my goodness! He’s hilarious! I laughed the whole time. The whole thing was my favorite! Dry Bar finds the absolute best comedians! No cursing. Just their genuinely wonderfully talented funny people! 😂❤️😍. Love Dry Bar! Thank-you!
OMG..Jeff is so hilarious, truly a talented comedian.
This guy is a comedic genius! I haven’t laughed so hard in such a long time! The part about the metal slide had me in stitches!
It had us sliders in stitches too, sometimes literally. And the slides being 6 stories high...truth. But then, when I was in nursery school, waiting to be old enough for kindergarten, me and the neighbor kids would climb up and jump off garage roofs, repeatedly
Wow Naverrik, U R SCORCHING HOT SWEETHEART, VERY BEAUTIFUL FACE 🔥💋
Gee, my husband sure is a lucky man! For 45 years I’ve “communicated” directly to him!! LOL!!!
Good and clean comedy. Hope and pray your wife and u live to be 100 years.
Holy hell. I've never heard of this man till today. His storytelling is incredible. He paints an incredibly vivid image, and it just so happens to be incredibly fun xD
Jeff is really funny. I like the combination with frosts and up the wall 😂😂. Up the wall with frost bites
Froth.
@@wannabecarguy he did say frost tho.
Omg...I can't get enough of this Jeff Allen. He's hilarious.
When i need to laugh, Jeff Allen is where i go!!! Fred Klett is no.2 !!!
Hilarious! Refreshing. Clean comedy, been missing real comedy. Laughter; the best medicine. God bless
My husband passed years ago . I felt as you spoke , that he would have been much like you . Keep on keeping on 😆 Thank you!
Start life over now Suzanne, I'm interested in Marriage again also.
I really like this mans humour, and presentation, he has a great skill.
The love language of his parents🤣. My grandpa would rattle the ice in his cup. When the effort of moving because too much for her, the grandkids and great grandkids would climb all over each other to get the man a drink🤣🤣. 63yrs...they were a wonderful couple.
Beautiful and hilarious at the same time.
This just came up on my RUclips in UK. I have laughed and cried all the way through it. Good clean healthy comedy. This man is a star.
Ditto! 😊
Someone call 911, I think I've had 30 Seizures from laughing.
Genius and spot on! I'm for sure gonna search more of this guy. This guy has real sense of humor. Much better than most well known / famous stand ups.
Find his , happy wife happy life, video.
I love him! We can relate to so many of his stories...and he’s hilarious...clean comedy!
Had to be one of the funniest, yet CLEAN comedian I've ever seen.
Hilarious. Don't know how I stumbled across this but my sides are hurting!
So I just sprayed my cereal all over the dinner table...she keeps your spine in her 👛🤣🤣
KJ 😱👀😆
" Car seats? We didn't have car seats. We didn't even have seatbelts. I'd walk the back seat of my mother's car for 4 years, I'd walk back and forth, back and forth. Sure, sometimes she'd hit the brakes, and send me flying to the front seat, and she'd toss me back like a trout, What are you doing up here? Get back there." 😆😁😅😂🤣🤣😄
I died laughing through this entire act. This is top quality comedy in my opinion. The delivery and stage presence of this man is perfectly crafted by his love of comedy. Much respect!
This guy is so underrated ...hilarious 😂😂🔥
He has an amazing voice. Sounds like a cartoon character.
I love how he delivers his jokes! So animated and fun to both watch and listen too. Hope to see more from this one!
So smart, so honest, so funny. Finally a real comic with real material! God bless you!
My husband and I were laughing so hard relating to all of this.....
I love how he calls his wife by name...Tammy's my new best friend.
I love you, too ♥️ Delora S.
Married almost 35 years and I swear this guy is my twin brother. Our wives are twin sisters. One thing though, if I say "Yes, dear" too many times, things come flying at my head, lol.
Really funny and without swearing or smut. Fantastic. What a relief.😁😁😁
Weighed down by half a century of apathy ( ゜-゜)
😂😭🤣
Maybe You should wait 50 Years Before You say something like that You cute little firecracker.
Mimineko101 my mom and dad were married for 49 so this is hilarious!
I almost spit out my coffee when he said that.
This is the BEST stand up performance I've seen in my entire life
😂😂😂O My Gosh!!!! My ribs!!!! He's one of my favourite comedians.
Omg...I can't stop laughing! Jeff can make everyday married life so funny and relatable.
Jeff does NOT miss a beat! Always solid delivery! BIG fan!
Never a dull moment all through the show...This I'm talking after listening to him multiple number of times
Me too. I have seen this several times. Always funny everytime
The part about teenagers and childhood was the best 😅 I wish he was my grandfather. So funny and wise 😊❤
This is absolutely my favorite comedy special!!! This is probably my 4th time watching it😂
5 seconds in and I already know this guy is an absolute legend, this is going to be good.
Oh jesus he is so naturally funny its incredible! Great comedian!
Hilarious. I laughed so loud my family thought i was loosing it. 😂😂😂
This man is honestly a Comedic Genius! I laugh at truly everything he says!
What a funny man big smile on my face with periods of full on laughter not a swear word uttered brilliant comedy 10/10
I've finally learned that women ask us the "what/where are you doing /going" to give us time to think about what we're doing, why we shouldn't, why she'll be mad and what we're gonna do to save ourselves. It's always seen as some kind of trick or game but really they are throwing us a lifeline to pull ourselves up or strangle ourselves. That revelation really changed my entire outlook.
smart man.
Its still a game though
@@Ricardo-sx5xk no denying that. Studies of the brain of men and women show that men TEND TO (can't put enough emphasis on that) not think as long when faced with a perceived threat and TEND to react with violence. While females TEND to think longer about a perceived threat and how she can "get back" at someone without physical violence. Thus, the games begin...both sexes have some petty in their biological makeup.
I was mad at a boyfriend because everytime he went to golf, he came home hammered. Meaning he endangered his life and the lives of others on the road. He would crawl into bed thinking I wouldn't notice him getting in, giggling, smelling like a brewery and yacking in the middle of the night or as soon as he woke up. He could be dressed head to toe in his golfing outfits, carrying his caddy and I would ask "Where you off too, babe?" He looked at me like I was stupid. I knew he wasn't going golfing based on the condition of his clubs, caddy and shoes. He "fell in the mud" once with perfectly and miraculously didn't have a spec of dirt anywhere on him. He was going out to party. Wouldn't have cared about him lying to go have a good time, I cared that he was drinking and driving. No overcast whatsoever on hot summer days yet no tan lines whatsoever. When I asked him those questions, I was literally letting him know secretly that I knew what he was really doing. After I figured out what bar, would order an uber for him just to make it a little more aggressive that I knew and wasn't ok with it. I was giving him time to think if he was making intelligent decisions without insulting his ego. Eventually he took it as I was accusing him of cheating. Nope. I was calling him out on doing something extremely dangerous. Some of my finally words to him were asking if he could live with himself knowing he hurt or killed someone. That hurt his ego. It was maybe 2 weeks after that that he was involved in an awful accident with another vehicle. Some women nag or ask things out of insecurity but the OP nailed it. Some of the ladies can say we do it because we love our men and don't want to make them feel like a child by pointing out what we've already observed flat out. We want you to rack your brain and think wisely.
@@Ricardo-sx5xk true, I should have said "malicious game" that's more of what I meant. It's manipulation through and through but I don't believe it's coming from a bad place more times than not.
@@mikedrop4421 And not all females are that way. We're just wired differently. Men tend to confront, women....IDK how to describe it...tend to dance around the issue and not be confrontational. But I know lots of women who are very confrontational and go straight to the problem. Stayed with a friend and her boyfriend for a few nights. He saw a new tattoo on her and was absolutely pissed because they were struggling financially- so she basically stole from him to get a tat. The fight was very interesting to say the least. Two confrontational people in a pissing contest and damage to the property as both were physical about it. I'm no longer friends wirh her as she forged a check my mom gave her and during interrogation, tried to blame it on me til they showed her the footage of her forging it in her car before going to cash it. I'd kill to see that interrogation tape and her face when the detective played his ace.
Gotta be my favorite comedy set from Dry Bar….I enjoy it every time I watch it. Start to finish….perfect!
I can attest to the 'six course meal' phenomenon from my 2 year old son...straight on point narration