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Hey guys. I'm a younger Asian brother with an older sister by 8 yrs. So I feel you guys. But I have to say the most important point is that no one says you have to be the responsible put together one. As a younger sibling I would have rather had you not be perfect so we can work together on solving stuff. Girls seem to put unnecessary pressure on yourselves. I know it's hard but try to shrug it off and ignore any haters. Especially parents. They chose to have you and you don't owe them.
Hi! I’m an oldest sibling with a younger brother by around two years. I felt that I could relate a lot to many of the topics involved, like feeling like I want to take care of my brother, the heavy responsibilities as the eldest, especially in academics, and my parents experimenting with my experiences. I do think that with heavy pressure, it can be stifling depending on how you were raised and in school, I always felt a mental weight on my shoulders that only lifted once I graduated college and then got a full time job. And eventually had to find ways to give myself some legroom to forgive myself when I could not meet the expectations set out for me. But it all comes from learning and making mistakes like anything else. Thanks for sharing your thoughts as listening in was enjoyable for sure.
In my growing up, my eldest sister calls it bossy older sister. The list that was mentioned about resentment might depend on the number of younger siblings/sex of siblings and relationship. In some families, if the eldest daughter is put greater accountability on the younger siblings, which if there is restriction on the eldest and less on the younger siblings, as well as whether the younger siblings takes advantage of the accountability of the eldest by the parent and there are more advantages given to the younger sibling then the eldest had. For both ladies, there are only one sibling. I recently was talking to a friend, about another friend, who was one of ten children, and that friend was one of the younger ones. With more siblings, there is more stress, responsibility of the eldest daughter versus the first son of an Asian couple.
I'm the eldest daughter, with a brother younger by 2 years. So much of this episode resonated with me. Mel's story about needing to feel strong in front of her brother, and always being nurturing and taking care of him. And learning now that we're older, how to have a more friendly relationship as peers, rather than older vs younger. Thanks so much for this episode!!
Great episode! Wish Annie was a guest on this episode, would love to hear her experience as an eldest daughter. Now, you need to do the youngest daughter episode :)
extremely relatable! eldest daughter to 2 sisters (6 & 12yr age gap) and to last born-parents! for a long time, it was a personality trait being the eldest and practically 2nd mom. i've attributed people pleasing tendencies. had to become hyper independent early on learning how to figure things out on my own, the default caretaker for my family, always following the rules, etc. makes sense why i married my husband who's an eldest child too lol
Hi~ I’m not the eldest child, but I am technically the eldest daughter. (Middle child, only girl of 3 siblings.) My dad was the first child in his family so I did feel a lot of responsibility as the oldest girl granddaughter / cousin. I’m close to the adults and do kinda put on a mask around the younger cousins. I have a lot of the eldest daughter traits but I feel like it’s more self inflicted because I gave myself so much pressure to do things right vs getting pressured to do anything. Now my older brother lives in China and I’m the closest to my parents so it’s a little different than you guys, but I do feel like the eldest daughter.
How about having a different political stand or preferences within siblings? My younger brother (8 years gap) is sooo confident in being wrong about his immaturity in politics. Little did he know that he is actually rooting for a very corrupt political party and then later on complain about rampant corruption in our country (we are not Americans btw!) 😂 then blame the good ones who are actually doing a job well done. He is too busy with work to do his own research on who to vote for, know the good guys etc. It saddens me cuz we have always been so close and we agreed upon almost every thing, but not politics. He is 28.
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Become an 💖ABG Bestie to get new audio episodes ad-free, monthly “Dear ABG” AMA sessions, discounts on merch, and shout-outs in our episodes! abg.supercast.com/
Hey guys. I'm a younger Asian brother with an older sister by 8 yrs. So I feel you guys. But I have to say the most important point is that no one says you have to be the responsible put together one. As a younger sibling I would have rather had you not be perfect so we can work together on solving stuff. Girls seem to put unnecessary pressure on yourselves. I know it's hard but try to shrug it off and ignore any haters. Especially parents. They chose to have you and you don't owe them.
interesting and so true ..
I’m the eldest daughter in my family and I totally relate to being responsible and being a role model for my younger sibling. Great episode!
Hi! I’m an oldest sibling with a younger brother by around two years. I felt that I could relate a lot to many of the topics involved, like feeling like I want to take care of my brother, the heavy responsibilities as the eldest, especially in academics, and my parents experimenting with my experiences. I do think that with heavy pressure, it can be stifling depending on how you were raised and in school, I always felt a mental weight on my shoulders that only lifted once I graduated college and then got a full time job. And eventually had to find ways to give myself some legroom to forgive myself when I could not meet the expectations set out for me. But it all comes from learning and making mistakes like anything else. Thanks for sharing your thoughts as listening in was enjoyable for sure.
In my growing up, my eldest sister calls it bossy older sister. The list that was mentioned about resentment might depend on the number of younger siblings/sex of siblings and relationship. In some families, if the eldest daughter is put greater accountability on the younger siblings, which if there is restriction on the eldest and less on the younger siblings, as well as whether the younger siblings takes advantage of the accountability of the eldest by the parent and there are more advantages given to the younger sibling then the eldest had. For both ladies, there are only one sibling. I recently was talking to a friend, about another friend, who was one of ten children, and that friend was one of the younger ones. With more siblings, there is more stress, responsibility of the eldest daughter versus the first son of an Asian couple.
I'm the eldest daughter, with a brother younger by 2 years. So much of this episode resonated with me. Mel's story about needing to feel strong in front of her brother, and always being nurturing and taking care of him. And learning now that we're older, how to have a more friendly relationship as peers, rather than older vs younger. Thanks so much for this episode!!
Great episode! Wish Annie was a guest on this episode, would love to hear her experience as an eldest daughter. Now, you need to do the youngest daughter episode :)
extremely relatable! eldest daughter to 2 sisters (6 & 12yr age gap) and to last born-parents! for a long time, it was a personality trait being the eldest and practically 2nd mom. i've attributed people pleasing tendencies. had to become hyper independent early on learning how to figure things out on my own, the default caretaker for my family, always following the rules, etc. makes sense why i married my husband who's an eldest child too lol
Hi~ I’m not the eldest child, but I am technically the eldest daughter. (Middle child, only girl of 3 siblings.) My dad was the first child in his family so I did feel a lot of responsibility as the oldest girl granddaughter / cousin. I’m close to the adults and do kinda put on a mask around the younger cousins. I have a lot of the eldest daughter traits but I feel like it’s more self inflicted because I gave myself so much pressure to do things right vs getting pressured to do anything. Now my older brother lives in China and I’m the closest to my parents so it’s a little different than you guys, but I do feel like the eldest daughter.
How about having a different political stand or preferences within siblings? My younger brother (8 years gap) is sooo confident in being wrong about his immaturity in politics. Little did he know that he is actually rooting for a very corrupt political party and then later on complain about rampant corruption in our country (we are not Americans btw!) 😂 then blame the good ones who are actually doing a job well done. He is too busy with work to do his own research on who to vote for, know the good guys etc. It saddens me cuz we have always been so close and we agreed upon almost every thing, but not politics. He is 28.
I’d say that I fit most of the traits of eldest daughter syndrome.😅