A Tantrum is in a way manipulative. This child or person trying to get their way. A meltdown is an emotional mental overload that comes out in an uncontrollable emotional way
I once even scremt out of a window (and castle hid 😅) to a mother who was going with her child and when he was crying Out Loud in his voice I felt that pain. And I’ve felt it many times before from many different other children, and so I couldn’t hold it and had to do dat. Sometimes I wish I were a brave and confident in myself enough, to go scream in peoples faces when they f their children 😅 😅
I'm 30 years old and I tend to get frustrated to the point when I feel like a meltdown is coming (most of this is at work when I dealing with customers when my mind is already occupied with other things). Because of this, whenever I feel like I have a meltdown, I can't because I feel like the customers that come to where I work will misconstrue it and get scared to the point that they call corporate to complain, causing me to get fired. Which scares me more because I don't want a meltdown, but I'm still trying to live my life and I really need this job in order to take care of myself, so I stuff the meltdown deep inside of me.
I have found myself so bruised on my hands and head/face just because the overload if information or sensory stimulation has consumed me, usually followed by burnout, but getting better at recognising the signs, so it helps. Thanks Dan, take care mate 👍🙂
I've found a similar thing myself matey. I like exploring my mind, because I know that there is a lot of creativity going on, and I particularly like expressing it through performance (song, dance and comedy). It can be overwhelming though; it's a lot of information for me to deal with.
this is so true 😭 I've been told I was spoiled because I had a meltdown once due to too much things happening at the same time but I just realise they were ignorant
I’m not severe, but sometimes (VERY RARE) I have meltdowns when I’m alone, which is never. I just cry for no reason and I just cry and cry and cry and I can stop.
It's actually harmful to accuse children of using outbursts to get their own way. At the age of three of four they just can not yet regulate their emotions. They need gentle guidance and modeled behaviour in order to learn how to calm themselves down.
When I was a child, my dad used to grab me and spank me during my meltdowns (he called them "baby tantrums") which made them 10 times worse. On top of that, I'd get punished afterwards by having to kneel on a hard floor for an hour. I still feel trauma thinking about it.
right now i'm struggling with my meltdown, a really bad combination of stress and a lot of late work for my university without any rest, life is hard for when the meltdown hits.
Neither of these two descriptions of meltdowns and tantrums describe most of the explosions we've been through with six kids in the last twelve years. Everybody has lagging skills that make it difficult to meet expectations. People have more than one cause for tantrums.
I have never ever had a meltdown before but I do have tantrums. Once when I got a tantrum I punched my head really hard. Then afterwards I had a headache that lasted for 2 days!!
shared this as my whole family who are on spectrum as well keeps on say that temper tantrums when me and children are too emotional and it is all the same they say. This video hopefully clears family and people ignorants.
@mike gallimore while I have no doubt at all that some people would purposefully blame their short comings on mild conditions meltdowns, some people have genuine issues and they suffer extremely with those issues. For some, it isn't being petulant, it's suffering with a brain that can't handle too much sensations.
I tend to mask a lot of my symptoms so whenever I feel a meltdown comming, I keep it all in and mask it off. Its way worse. It makes me feel stuck and it spends up a lot more energy. I have let it out a few times while I'm alone, but Ive masked most of them. Its really stressfull for me.
@@qwertyuioplkmjnhbgvfcdxszaWhat do should they do? Just meltdown in public all the time in front of everyone? I guess they could run to a bathroom or their car and meltdown there instead.
I felt like this completely invalidated my personal struggle with emotional dysregulation as the definitions were not completely accurate. While tantrum and meltdown was accurate, the tantrum definition was ALSO accurate for meltdowns as well as not getting ones way can be a trigger of stress. Meltdowns are an explosion of emotions; when the emotional pain or stress become so intense or too much, that it just bursts, like a volcano. What you explained was more of an overload, which is technically it's own separate thing. Meltdowns are 1/2 of the hardest struggles that basically destroy my life (other than my detrimental social communications.. which is only "half my fault). So its really the one thing that ruins everything... please explain this correctly better next time...
Hi! I’m struggling a lot here too. I think what I experience is a meltdown… but it isn’t from a sensory overload so I am unsure. I prefer dimmed lighting, but won’t be upset by bright lights at all. I tend to need more noise than less. I have my meltdowns when I don’t get what I want but can’t figure out why. I.E., I applied for an internal job, knowing someone else had a better chance due to seniority. I put in SO MUCH extra effort to prove my SKILLS were superior, AND I DID. But still, seniority got it. Then I found out that he eliminated part of the job description that was required! (Had to produce and edit video. He didn’t submit any video. I made and edited one in a day.) The part I poured my heart into, he didn’t even do! But it was a REQUIREMENT. So I don’t get it. I don’t understand why… to me, it means I didn’t stand a chance to begin with. Why interview me or anyone else at all??? And so I melt down and don’t wanna talk to anyone because I will just spiral and ask this and hurt peoples feelings when I am supposed to be mature about it, but I don’t get why it is acceptable to skip a requirement and still advance! I feel worthless and I begin to wonder why I try if it comes down to seniority. Am I just having a tantrum??? Or is this an emotional meltdown? I don’t yell and scream. I turn inward. I may vent a bit, but most of it is trying to make sense of it and the pain. (I knew he would get it. Why am I so mad? My efforts mean nothing and nothing will change. 🌪️) I get quiet. I cannot do simple tasks without feeling exhausted and disinterested… my memory breaks down. I don’t get how I am supposed to act. What am I supposed to do to show I am disappointed or upset about the injustice without seeming like it’s ego. Bc I would understand if he did ALL the requirements …. Is this a meltdown or a ‘tantrum’!?! I’m also not getting over it like ever.
The whole idea of tantrums being trying to get your own way is just toxic and wrong all round for everyone. This video really helped to see the difference between ‘my emotions are overflowing and I don’t know how to manage them’ (maybe too young and their brain has not developed this skill yet) and autistic meltdown- way to much sensory input cup over flowing. Probably why they look so similar.
I had experienced burnout, meltdowns when I start socialising more which is during my adolescent and adulthood. I had meltdowns and cry just cry when I was in relationship and now it makes me scared to have one. Because I always feel I'm a different person when I'm in relationship. Couple times I can't communicate my feelings and end up with meltdowns just for little things. And now I had couple burnouts and meltdowns during my work period. And I thought I'm just stress out. But just couple weeks ago, I have meltdowns just after working for a week with the new project managers. It's been week I kept hearing him saying words in sarcastic way. We are in project out of town. This is my first time working with him. But all I hear is him complaining me not meet him on time at the lobby. And he keeps making a gesture of wanting us meet earlier and earlier. As I have sleeping problems. I tried so hard to adjust my clock with him but I knew we never late. In fact we always arrive 30 minutes earlier. And there he wanted us to arrive in office much earlier like 1 hour. And there I am suddenly having meltdowns can't couping his request. And saying I keep hearing his sarcasm when I don't meet him at lobby at exact time. When in fact we have never be late and always early in the office. I cried and it shocked him and he keep saying he never meant to be sarcastic. And I told him I can't understand him when couple days ago, I was waiting for my coffee from hotel and told him about it. And he answered that we are suppose to meet up at 7:30. And when I saw the time still 7:20. So I don't understand why he need to remind me that we suppose to meet at 7:30. And here he request us to meet up by 7:00 in the morning. After me trying hard to wake up early. So I outburst genuinely having meltdowns just because of that since I feel like I can't tell him about the struggle I'm having intercating with him in the past week.
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i know this is unrelated to the video itself, but do people with autism ever feel guilty towards inanimate objects for not using them etc or is that just me?
Used to...up till I think 20 years of age. I hated it when my car had to " sleep outside" 🤣 I had trouble throwing away stuff. Hated it when my parents just replaced furniture. How could they after years of loyal service.
I used to even get sad when I threw chocolate bar wrappers in the bin as I thought they’d be lonely! So I’d always leave a little chunk of chocolate with it so it wasn’t alone, so yes I get that! I still do it now, I’m 31. I do it with crisps as well I think they’re all family members so I leave 2 so they have a family member...
i cried when we replaced the flooring at my spiritual place. and feel bad my stuffed animals are in the closet, i face them so they can see out. i am middle aged with a high tech career. its cool life is diverse.
I'm not sure if this is universal but as I remember when having tantrums I would tend to avoid hurting myself, but if I had a meltdown I would be too upset to avoid something like bitting myself, so I think if someone's self harms that should be treated as a sign that it's a meltdown. Also I think neurotypicals think of meltdowns as a natural part of autism, but if an autistic child is happy they won't have meltdowns, but the thing is it takes less to break us than a it does to break a neurotypical and I think that makes it look like meltdowns are a natural part of autism.
My meltdowns are always internal. I feel like I'm tearing myself to pieces inside. I have cramps and sweats. They might be panic attacks in part because I get them when there are unexpected events. I was dxd A.S. and A.D.D. and even though I am late middle aged I still suffer just the same when those episodes start.
@mike gallimore Well I have been self-isolating. I think mine are panic attacks. They are something you have to experience to really know about. I often have plans and strategies that I decide upon in advance, but the adrenaline spike sweeps those away. It's hard to surf a wave like that.
I feel exhausted after grocery shopping there and end up going straight to bed after. One of my mother's friends wants to get me a job there and I dead seriously just want tell them its a terrible idea. If ya get a migraine after a trip there join the club.
I have meltdowns when I am over stimulated and they usually happen in the morning when I first wake up. I cant hand the situation and I just explode with anger and lash out and swear and can't control it at all. Its as if I'm possessed. I regret it afterwards
My son doesn't swear but also " wakes up angry" usually this means a bad day. Did you figure out a pattern yet? When it happens? Previous day impact? Bad dreams? Poor sleeping quality? I am an aspie but I have different "things"🙈 than my son. Some are the same. Others different.
@@VeroLandzaat I got a new light alarm clock that doesnt have sounds just slowley light up over 45 minutes and also cant have fans or light coming in under the door during the night and use un scented laundry detergent on bedding and that helps enormously.
Same, I heard that Cortisol is released naturally when we wake up so what I did is eat a protein rich meal before bed like turkey to keep blood sugar stable through the night , upon waking try not to think of triggers and distract myself by making warm tea and listening to favorite music to change my mindset so I can get past that first buildup of stress/panic, then i sit back down and watch videos or if there's a lot of energy I'll move the body around and dance it off until I can manage :]
I usually just shake and cry but sometimes I yell. It is just from overwhelm, and it does happen regularly. It is usually worse when I do not take good care of myself.
Most of the ones I get are when I'm staying with my parents and my mom doesn't let me have control of my space (my old room - I moved out only a few years ago), insisting that tons of stuff and furniture has to be piled in there (because "there's no room anywhere else") while I'm there (for reference, the room is only 10'x10'), which is extremely overwhelming for me and she refuses to even try to understand why because she can't fathom that visual clutter could possibly be a very real and massive problem. I try to deal with it as best I can, but I eventually reach a breaking point, and when the meltdown hits, I usually end up tossing everything that shouldn't be in there out in the hall, in a desperate attempt to get rid of the overstimulation, then everyone gets mad at me for something that was actually my mom's fault, whether she wants to admit it or not. The rest of their house is stuffed with clutter, so my old room is my only safe space, so it has to be able to function as one - blank space is my ultimate friend when I'm overwhelmed, which happens every single day I'm at their house.
So if you moved out why do you have to keep going back regularly? I get that you have uncontrollable meltdowns due to over stimulation but your parents have a right to their house and that includes your old room. I don't fully understand your situation but given the context you shared you come off a tad bit entitled.
@@Myplaylists93 I'm not trying to argue, and I get that I was a bit vague, but the situation's much more complicated than it might seem, and I'm not comfortable sharing more details. Suffice it to say, there is a very good reason why I visit regularly, and a very good reason why I need to have control over my old room when I'm there, and the extra furniture etc. in there really and truly does belong elsewhere in their house (my mom has said so), they just have way too much other stuff for there to be space for them to go where they belong.
I lost my job again last year but this time after my fifteenth job one every year I had a melt down big time. I still feel some of the effect. I am a stay at home dad now!
If you are in the USA (or other similar Western countries) you may want to look into applying for some type of financial disability benefits because it seems that your condition prevents you from having a stable job. In the USA we call it Social Security Disability Income. I'm sure other developed countries have their own version of this.
I was always having tantrums 'cause I felt overwhelmed by my emotions, really couldn't contain it, but usually when things didn't go my way. Is that a combination of meltdown and tantrum? lol
one time my parents took my phone (a major source of comfort for me) after a huge argument and all i felt was overwhelming... i dont know. anger was part of it but i was just in a lot of emotional distress so i spent at least 20 minutes (up to an hour. i sorta lost track of time) crying and pacing back and forth in my room and punching myself. was that a meltdown or a tantrum? im not diagnosed with autism but ive been having appointments to a psychologist because my parents think i might have adhd or autism.
Wow...I have never heard of Level 3 Autism... I was diagnosed with Mild Autism (Aspberger's), but those types of levels were not explained... Research time!!!
@@fedoramcclaren4294 Aspergers is no longer used as a diagnosis and is considered outdated, "mild autism" on the other hand has never been a valid diagnosis.
@@robokill387 yes,I am quite aware. That was the diagnosis I was given. I still call it aspberger's. As far as I know, mild autism is now considered being on the spectrum, according to proffessionals.
This so relates to me so much today I went out to the shops doing some food shopping with a family member and a man out of nowhere behind me reached out his hand to get biscuits this was such a scary and frightening experience for me
Dan, I really like your channel. It's so informative. I share them with friends and family in hope that they can come to understand me better. Thanks for making these videos!
61 and undiagnosed for Asperger's. The counselors don't believe me and do the wrong thing like hanging up on me or yelling at me to calm down. They think I'm doing this on purpose. I desperately need someone to help me. They let me go for days and days in acute meltdowns.
May I ask some things but please don't be offended I don't question your self diagnosis but at which points in your life did you struggle? It's hard for me to understand how a disability that's holding me back so much can't be noticed till your 61 🤔 how did you get through life? Hope you don't feel offended but I know so many who where never able to be part of this society and live fully independently ...
@cherryfieldsinc I started school in 1966 and they didn't know that much about it. As long as I could read nobody thought anything was different. So you watch other people to learn and mimic and mask. My parents were focused more on my brother. I had to fend for myself. In my 30's I started a business where I could work in a quiet atmosphere, at my own pace, and I thrived. But now I'm disabled, people still can't tell, too much has always been expected of me, it sets me up to fail, and I don't get the help or support I've needed to cope with being too sensitive for this world.
I'm autistic and even my own mom doesn't understand my meltdown she thinks I can control them and just stuck it up basically and that when I have a meltdown that I must see to mentally ill to live alone I'm supposed to get my own apartment soon has anyone ever dealt with that
Yes! My dad always called my meltdowns "baby tantrums" and would always grab me and hit me when I was in the midst of a meltdown, which made it much much worse. On top of that, I'd be punished and shamed for behaving badly, even though it's something I had no control over. I'm still very distant with my parents from that.
When you get overloaded with sensory information, it feels like a total loss of control over your environment. The sensory overload feels so invasive and you just want it to STOP. I don't think it's made better by knowing that everyone else is gonna think you're sensitive or whiny and you should just deal with it. That's another layer of loss of control.
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I don't know what I used to experience, then. I don't experience sensory overload, I am under-sensitive. But I used to just get so angry and so frustrated and I would just get taken over by it and fall completely apart. I started being able to control it when I was 13/14, and during that year it stopped completely. My brain changed with puberty I think. After that they sent me back to public school.
Its interesting how adhd meltdowns are not quite a tantrum but not quite autism meltdown Tantrum- a kid or adult is upset bc they cant get their way ADHD- something happends that triggers an intence emotion and you cant effectively communicate so you melt down Autism- sensory thingys or changes in plans cause a meltdown Like they r all emotional reactions but they r all different
My son's ex head teacher told me that when my son had a massive meltdown and had thrown chairs across the classroom that it wasn't a meltdown as my son wasn't crying
I'm trying to figure out what's going on with my daughter. She will have emotional outbursts when she wants to do something, but is afraid to do it, however the outburst comes after it is all over. Once she overcomes her fear and does what she wanted to do (ie say hi to someone she doesn't know) she will become very upset and start wildly screaming, crying and often hitting and biting herself and anyone around her. She also starts to blindly run away when she's like this, which obviously causes a problem if we are around traffic. I've always been on alert enough to grab her before she gets into trouble. What causes this after she overcomes the thing she was afraid of? If I tell her she did a good job she gets even more upset saying she is terrible and to leave her alone. She is only 5 and has had multiple diagnoses, but everyone says this is different. I just want to know how to help her. This doesn't happen very often, but I feel helpless when it does. I don't try and force her into a stressful situation, this happens by her being afraid to do something and her wanting to overcome it on her own. I've even tried getting her to leave the situation, but I would have to carry her away kicking and screaming.
I do that too. For me its delayed anxiety after dissociation. I'm pretty good at handling things during but the before is obviously distressing and the after is pacing, yelling, and thinking about self injury. And that's with a fairly high level of self control. I eventually am just sent to my room to coping skill it out with sensory activities. The positive reinforcement doesn't really work for me either i do the same thing. The overstimulation kinda spirals with the negative thoughts. A few hours later I'm a little raw feeling but better. I'm in my 20's now with multiple diagnoses. When you get past the big chunk of distress, sensory stuff might help but you have to get over that hump first.
Typical meltdown. But the way to handle is still to let her do the stuff but have coping routines afterwards as well as help her rest up before hand to better cope . personally I’ve had a lot of help with polarizing non reflex glasses to cut out glare as well as musicians earpluggs to help reduce the general stimuli lives doing this leaves more energy over to cope with stressful situations. Also things like sitting in the front of the classroom so you don’t need to see everyone or to a side with one side to a wall can help massivly. Ps for me physical exercise like dancing, walking or swimming has helped prieviously a lot in getting out adrenaline safely with less meltdowns ( still works in an electric wheelchair for ms/ psoriatic arthrities as nature is a factor but not as effective) ... for me the stress accumulates until it goes blam! Also meditation music such as snatram kaur ra ma da sa, tibetan singing bowls etc has a very deep calming effect
I am vry guilty of throwing tantrums🙂 as a kid I was a vry needy kid and I hate that I was like that.....now I’m more subtle about it but I still get mad about stupid things
@@ellanina801 Autism is a spectrum and sometimes it shows differently in girls. She most definitely go through a Shutdown. I,an internal Meltdown. Does she isolate herself when things don't go her way?
I’ve always struggled between theese two. What they stand for and how to know when it is the first one, or the other. I’ll hopefully remember it know and pretty sure I know the difference
I have both AD HD and Autism, one my roommates is so annoying so I often have Melt downs 😊 they refuse to shower or even wash up,they don't wash their hands.
Hij is keihard, ijskoud en wil er later nooit over praten. Ik begin een jehek6aan hem rw krijgen....oke ik zie ook dat ik ook dezelfde issues heb maar ik praat er over.
I didn't understand it at first but now I do :) and i don't think I have autism cuz I don't relate for most of the signs but I discovered that I do have meltdown and i didn't know what was happening to me until now . I hate getting wet unless I was bathing but if I wasn't then I'll be so upset and i might cry and i might hit my head too I thought I was being emotional since I was on my period when it happened but it happened again even after my period ended :)
As a kid i use to bang my head for the pain to try and take my mind off the frustration, i would spin and just fall forward or backwards onto concrete and bam, stars, blues, purlpes, red and black... i still do the hitting when i get highly upset tho, even at age 43, its a wonder i dont have brain damage as an adult.... i grew out of it eventually.... i hope it gets better for you and him soon.
Why are you out here speaking for autistics, when you are pretty much an average person? What us parents of autistic children who our selves have varying levels of autism traits are all supposed to label our selves? I got serious anxiety issues, couldnt care less about socializing unless its in my interest and etc etc am I supposed to claim that developmentally disabled? Wtf... Let people with real serious issues talk about their challenges not your mild ass issues that 20 % or more of the population deals with.
Why are you so upset. Autistic people barely get accommodations. He is high masking btw. Why are you being so ignorant. Why are you riled up, why can’t their suffering be valid because they can cover it up with smiles.
My job is assisting adults on the spectrum, and line between a tantrum and a meltdown in an adult with autism is very hard for me to distinguish. Sometimes it seems like both are happening at the same time. Honestly I personally do feel like I’m being manipulated by some of my adult people on the spectrum. Everything I try seems to be the wrong thing and I don’t know what to do. Also, just a side note but neurotypical people can get overstimulated as well and feel oppressed and distressed by what might be considered innocuous situations, but maybe neurotypicals are just better at hiding the distress? Anyways thanks for the videos and any advice is appreciated.
Totally get it. And meltdowns aren't always anger either. My daughter and I can have bad meltdowns where we just cry.
Same here for the most part
I first have an anger outburst and after I just start crying
A Tantrum is in a way manipulative. This child or person trying to get their way. A meltdown is an emotional mental overload that comes out in an uncontrollable emotional way
Subject begins at 3:25
Loving the title cause ignorant people say the kids are being spoiled, when in reality they're having a meltdown. 😞
Not to mention the hilarious excuse for parents that want a “cure” and can’t except the children who they are
Green Leaf 🍃 same
I once even scremt out of a window (and castle hid 😅) to a mother who was going with her child and when he was crying Out Loud in his voice I felt that pain. And I’ve felt it many times before from many different other children, and so I couldn’t hold it and had to do dat.
Sometimes I wish I were a brave and confident in myself enough, to go scream in peoples faces when they f their children 😅 😅
@@RyderTheGayRaptorUwU *accept*
You believe The Asupie World is wrong that there is a difference?
It is really upsetting when ignorant people feel the need to comment on a child's "tantrum".
I'm 30 years old and I tend to get frustrated to the point when I feel like a meltdown is coming (most of this is at work when I dealing with customers when my mind is already occupied with other things). Because of this, whenever I feel like I have a meltdown, I can't because I feel like the customers that come to where I work will misconstrue it and get scared to the point that they call corporate to complain, causing me to get fired. Which scares me more because I don't want a meltdown, but I'm still trying to live my life and I really need this job in order to take care of myself, so I stuff the meltdown deep inside of me.
I have found myself so bruised on my hands and head/face just because the overload if information or sensory stimulation has consumed me, usually followed by burnout, but getting better at recognising the signs, so it helps. Thanks Dan, take care mate 👍🙂
I've found a similar thing myself matey. I like exploring my mind, because I know that there is a lot of creativity going on, and I particularly like expressing it through performance (song, dance and comedy). It can be overwhelming though; it's a lot of information for me to deal with.
this is so true 😭 I've been told I was spoiled because I had a meltdown once due to too much things happening at the same time but I just realise they were ignorant
I’m not severe, but sometimes (VERY RARE) I have meltdowns when I’m alone, which is never. I just cry for no reason and I just cry and cry and cry and I can stop.
It's actually harmful to accuse children of using outbursts to get their own way. At the age of three of four they just can not yet regulate their emotions. They need gentle guidance and modeled behaviour in order to learn how to calm themselves down.
Thats a good point
When I was a child, my dad used to grab me and spank me during my meltdowns (he called them "baby tantrums") which made them 10 times worse. On top of that, I'd get punished afterwards by having to kneel on a hard floor for an hour. I still feel trauma thinking about it.
Both me and my eldest son had a meltdown at the same time yesterday. Very challenging when all 3 of us have one. Thank you for this video 👍👏
Video starts at 3:30
right now i'm struggling with my meltdown, a really bad combination of stress and a lot of late work for my university without any rest, life is hard for when the meltdown hits.
Neither of these two descriptions of meltdowns and tantrums describe most of the explosions we've been through with six kids in the last twelve years. Everybody has lagging skills that make it difficult to meet expectations. People have more than one cause for tantrums.
I have never ever had a meltdown before but I do have tantrums. Once when I got a tantrum I punched my head really hard. Then afterwards I had a headache that lasted for 2 days!!
shared this as my whole family who are on spectrum as well keeps on say that temper tantrums when me and children are too emotional and it is all the same they say. This video hopefully clears family and people ignorants.
Can a meltdown be because of overwhelming emotions or anxiety or just having too much to deal with?
Hell yes especially to much to deal with personally
It's a mixture of both. Personally, I feel a meltdown coming on through exam stress or being insulted. So it's a mixture of really negative things
@mike gallimore while I have no doubt at all that some people would purposefully blame their short comings on mild conditions meltdowns, some people have genuine issues and they suffer extremely with those issues. For some, it isn't being petulant, it's suffering with a brain that can't handle too much sensations.
Instead of a buildup happening they just have a meltdown right away.
Yes.
I tend to mask a lot of my symptoms so whenever I feel a meltdown comming, I keep it all in and mask it off. Its way worse. It makes me feel stuck and it spends up a lot more energy. I have let it out a few times while I'm alone, but Ive masked most of them. Its really stressfull for me.
ditto.
Don’t hide your emotions like me. Now i cant express them at all. Even if i try.
@@qwertyuioplkmjnhbgvfcdxszaWhat do should they do? Just meltdown in public all the time in front of everyone? I guess they could run to a bathroom or their car and meltdown there instead.
Love this! You're videos are always so informative!
I felt like this completely invalidated my personal struggle with emotional dysregulation as the definitions were not completely accurate. While tantrum and meltdown was accurate, the tantrum definition was ALSO accurate for meltdowns as well as not getting ones way can be a trigger of stress. Meltdowns are an explosion of emotions; when the emotional pain or stress become so intense or too much, that it just bursts, like a volcano. What you explained was more of an overload, which is technically it's own separate thing.
Meltdowns are 1/2 of the hardest struggles that basically destroy my life (other than my detrimental social communications.. which is only "half my fault). So its really the one thing that ruins everything... please explain this correctly better next time...
Hi! I’m struggling a lot here too. I think what I experience is a meltdown… but it isn’t from a sensory overload so I am unsure. I prefer dimmed lighting, but won’t be upset by bright lights at all. I tend to need more noise than less. I have my meltdowns when I don’t get what I want but can’t figure out why. I.E., I applied for an internal job, knowing someone else had a better chance due to seniority. I put in SO MUCH extra effort to prove my SKILLS were superior, AND I DID. But still, seniority got it. Then I found out that he eliminated part of the job description that was required! (Had to produce and edit video. He didn’t submit any video. I made and edited one in a day.) The part I poured my heart into, he didn’t even do! But it was a REQUIREMENT. So I don’t get it. I don’t understand why… to me, it means I didn’t stand a chance to begin with. Why interview me or anyone else at all??? And so I melt down and don’t wanna talk to anyone because I will just spiral and ask this and hurt peoples feelings when I am supposed to be mature about it, but I don’t get why it is acceptable to skip a requirement and still advance! I feel worthless and I begin to wonder why I try if it comes down to seniority. Am I just having a tantrum??? Or is this an emotional meltdown? I don’t yell and scream. I turn inward. I may vent a bit, but most of it is trying to make sense of it and the pain. (I knew he would get it. Why am I so mad? My efforts mean nothing and nothing will change. 🌪️) I get quiet. I cannot do simple tasks without feeling exhausted and disinterested… my memory breaks down. I don’t get how I am supposed to act. What am I supposed to do to show I am disappointed or upset about the injustice without seeming like it’s ego. Bc I would understand if he did ALL the requirements …. Is this a meltdown or a ‘tantrum’!?! I’m also not getting over it like ever.
Do u also have adhd bc meltdowns bc emotions disregulateing tends to b a adhd thing
The whole idea of tantrums being trying to get your own way is just toxic and wrong all round for everyone. This video really helped to see the difference between ‘my emotions are overflowing and I don’t know how to manage them’ (maybe too young and their brain has not developed this skill yet) and autistic meltdown- way to much sensory input cup over flowing. Probably why they look so similar.
I had experienced burnout, meltdowns when I start socialising more which is during my adolescent and adulthood. I had meltdowns and cry just cry when I was in relationship and now it makes me scared to have one. Because I always feel I'm a different person when I'm in relationship. Couple times I can't communicate my feelings and end up with meltdowns just for little things.
And now I had couple burnouts and meltdowns during my work period. And I thought I'm just stress out. But just couple weeks ago, I have meltdowns just after working for a week with the new project managers.
It's been week I kept hearing him saying words in sarcastic way. We are in project out of town. This is my first time working with him. But all I hear is him complaining me not meet him on time at the lobby. And he keeps making a gesture of wanting us meet earlier and earlier. As I have sleeping problems. I tried so hard to adjust my clock with him but I knew we never late. In fact we always arrive 30 minutes earlier. And there he wanted us to arrive in office much earlier like 1 hour.
And there I am suddenly having meltdowns can't couping his request. And saying I keep hearing his sarcasm when I don't meet him at lobby at exact time. When in fact we have never be late and always early in the office.
I cried and it shocked him and he keep saying he never meant to be sarcastic. And I told him I can't understand him when couple days ago, I was waiting for my coffee from hotel and told him about it. And he answered that we are suppose to meet up at 7:30. And when I saw the time still 7:20. So I don't understand why he need to remind me that we suppose to meet at 7:30.
And here he request us to meet up by 7:00 in the morning. After me trying hard to wake up early. So I outburst genuinely having meltdowns just because of that since I feel like I can't tell him about the struggle I'm having intercating with him in the past week.
I think I used to have meltdowns if I got really frustrated I was just shut down or hit my head against the wall
Personally I managed it with medication, so it was evidently sensorial in nature
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i know this is unrelated to the video itself, but do people with autism ever feel guilty towards inanimate objects for not using them etc or is that just me?
i do!
Used to...up till I think 20 years of age. I hated it when my car had to " sleep outside" 🤣 I had trouble throwing away stuff. Hated it when my parents just replaced furniture. How could they after years of loyal service.
so im not the only one who had this omg
I used to even get sad when I threw chocolate bar wrappers in the bin as I thought they’d be lonely! So I’d always leave a little chunk of chocolate with it so it wasn’t alone, so yes I get that! I still do it now, I’m 31. I do it with crisps as well I think they’re all family members so I leave 2 so they have a family member...
i cried when we replaced the flooring at my spiritual place. and feel bad my stuffed animals are in the closet, i face them so they can see out. i am middle aged with a high tech career. its cool life is diverse.
I'm not sure if this is universal but as I remember when having tantrums I would tend to avoid hurting myself, but if I had a meltdown I would be too upset to avoid something like bitting myself, so I think if someone's self harms that should be treated as a sign that it's a meltdown. Also I think neurotypicals think of meltdowns as a natural part of autism, but if an autistic child is happy they won't have meltdowns, but the thing is it takes less to break us than a it does to break a neurotypical and I think that makes it look like meltdowns are a natural part of autism.
So happy you made this video. A really important aspect of autism to raise awareness about! 😊👍
What can a meltdown look like in an adult? Like what specific behaviors?
My meltdowns are always internal. I feel like I'm tearing myself to pieces inside. I have cramps and sweats. They might be panic attacks in part because I get them when there are unexpected events. I was dxd A.S. and A.D.D. and even though I am late middle aged I still suffer just the same when those episodes start.
@mike gallimore Well I have been self-isolating. I think mine are panic attacks. They are something you have to experience to really know about. I often have plans and strategies that I decide upon in advance, but the adrenaline spike sweeps those away. It's hard to surf a wave like that.
Walmart causes me to have meltdowns. Music too loud, isles too narrow, items not in logical places...3-2-1...
I feel exhausted after grocery shopping there and end up going straight to bed after. One of my mother's friends wants to get me a job there and I dead seriously just want tell them its a terrible idea. If ya get a migraine after a trip there join the club.
I wear AirPods in Walmart because it helps with the noise.
i hate going to Walmart mostly cuz of the ppl it's too busy and very disorganized
I have meltdowns when I am over stimulated and they usually happen in the morning when I first wake up. I cant hand the situation and I just explode with anger and lash out and swear and can't control it at all. Its as if I'm possessed.
I regret it afterwards
My son doesn't swear but also " wakes up angry" usually this means a bad day. Did you figure out a pattern yet? When it happens? Previous day impact? Bad dreams? Poor sleeping quality? I am an aspie but I have different "things"🙈 than my son. Some are the same. Others different.
@@VeroLandzaat
I got a new light alarm clock that doesnt have sounds just slowley light up over 45 minutes and also cant have fans or light coming in under the door during the night and use un scented laundry detergent on bedding and that helps enormously.
Same, I heard that Cortisol is released naturally when we wake up so what I did is eat a protein rich meal before bed like turkey to keep blood sugar stable through the night , upon waking try not to think of triggers and distract myself by making warm tea and listening to favorite music to change my mindset so I can get past that first buildup of stress/panic, then i sit back down and watch videos or if there's a lot of energy I'll move the body around and dance it off until I can manage :]
I usually just shake and cry but sometimes I yell. It is just from overwhelm, and it does happen regularly. It is usually worse when I do not take good care of myself.
Most of the ones I get are when I'm staying with my parents and my mom doesn't let me have control of my space (my old room - I moved out only a few years ago), insisting that tons of stuff and furniture has to be piled in there (because "there's no room anywhere else") while I'm there (for reference, the room is only 10'x10'), which is extremely overwhelming for me and she refuses to even try to understand why because she can't fathom that visual clutter could possibly be a very real and massive problem. I try to deal with it as best I can, but I eventually reach a breaking point, and when the meltdown hits, I usually end up tossing everything that shouldn't be in there out in the hall, in a desperate attempt to get rid of the overstimulation, then everyone gets mad at me for something that was actually my mom's fault, whether she wants to admit it or not. The rest of their house is stuffed with clutter, so my old room is my only safe space, so it has to be able to function as one - blank space is my ultimate friend when I'm overwhelmed, which happens every single day I'm at their house.
So if you moved out why do you have to keep going back regularly? I get that you have uncontrollable meltdowns due to over stimulation but your parents have a right to their house and that includes your old room. I don't fully understand your situation but given the context you shared you come off a tad bit entitled.
@@Myplaylists93 I'm not trying to argue, and I get that I was a bit vague, but the situation's much more complicated than it might seem, and I'm not comfortable sharing more details. Suffice it to say, there is a very good reason why I visit regularly, and a very good reason why I need to have control over my old room when I'm there, and the extra furniture etc. in there really and truly does belong elsewhere in their house (my mom has said so), they just have way too much other stuff for there to be space for them to go where they belong.
I lost my job again last year but this time after my fifteenth job one every year I had a melt down big time. I still feel some of the effect. I am a stay at home dad now!
I have a lot of experience from my jobs but my social interaction is par
Thanks mike
If you are in the USA (or other similar Western countries) you may want to look into applying for some type of financial disability benefits because it seems that your condition prevents you from having a stable job. In the USA we call it Social Security Disability Income. I'm sure other developed countries have their own version of this.
I was always having tantrums 'cause I felt overwhelmed by my emotions, really couldn't contain it, but usually when things didn't go my way. Is that a combination of meltdown and tantrum? lol
same i was a really fussy child but it's not like it's our fault
The difference lies in whether you can control them. Meltdowns are involuntary.
one time my parents took my phone (a major source of comfort for me) after a huge argument and all i felt was overwhelming... i dont know. anger was part of it but i was just in a lot of emotional distress so i spent at least 20 minutes (up to an hour. i sorta lost track of time) crying and pacing back and forth in my room and punching myself. was that a meltdown or a tantrum? im not diagnosed with autism but ive been having appointments to a psychologist because my parents think i might have adhd or autism.
I would say so
I love your videos. I have a 3 year old daughter who has level 3 autism. Your videos help a lot to understand more about it. Thank you so much.
Wow...I have never heard of Level 3 Autism...
I was diagnosed with Mild Autism (Aspberger's), but those types of levels were not explained...
Research time!!!
@@fedoramcclaren4294 Aspergers is no longer used as a diagnosis and is considered outdated, "mild autism" on the other hand has never been a valid diagnosis.
@@robokill387 yes,I am quite aware. That was the diagnosis I was given. I still call it aspberger's.
As far as I know, mild autism is now considered being on the spectrum, according to proffessionals.
This so relates to me so much today I went out to the shops doing some food shopping with a family member and a man out of nowhere behind me reached out his hand to get biscuits this was such a scary and frightening experience for me
I just wanted to say thanks for making this video it was really good and interesting thanks Aspieworld
Dan, I really like your channel. It's so informative. I share them with friends and family in hope that they can come to understand me better. Thanks for making these videos!
basically, in a tantrum the scen it causes is intended. but in a meltdown the scen is a by-product
Whenever I have a meltdown, I usually rip at least one muscle. Fun, it is not.
@mike gallimore hence the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. The former is "in control, the latter is not.
61 and undiagnosed for Asperger's. The counselors don't believe me and do the wrong thing like hanging up on me or yelling at me to calm down. They think I'm doing this on purpose. I desperately need someone to help me. They let me go for days and days in acute meltdowns.
May I ask some things but please don't be offended I don't question your self diagnosis but at which points in your life did you struggle? It's hard for me to understand how a disability that's holding me back so much can't be noticed till your 61 🤔 how did you get through life? Hope you don't feel offended but I know so many who where never able to be part of this society and live fully independently ...
@cherryfieldsinc I started school in 1966 and they didn't know that much about it. As long as I could read nobody thought anything was different. So you watch other people to learn and mimic and mask. My parents were focused more on my brother. I had to fend for myself. In my 30's I started a business where I could work in a quiet atmosphere, at my own pace, and I thrived. But now I'm disabled, people still can't tell, too much has always been expected of me, it sets me up to fail, and I don't get the help or support I've needed to cope with being too sensitive for this world.
I somehow have never had a meltdown but yesterday I was REALLY close to having one
I'm autistic and even my own mom doesn't understand my meltdown she thinks I can control them and just stuck it up basically and that when I have a meltdown that I must see to mentally ill to live alone I'm supposed to get my own apartment soon has anyone ever dealt with that
Yes! My dad always called my meltdowns "baby tantrums" and would always grab me and hit me when I was in the midst of a meltdown, which made it much much worse. On top of that, I'd be punished and shamed for behaving badly, even though it's something I had no control over. I'm still very distant with my parents from that.
When you get overloaded with sensory information, it feels like a total loss of control over your environment. The sensory overload feels so invasive and you just want it to STOP. I don't think it's made better by knowing that everyone else is gonna think you're sensitive or whiny and you should just deal with it. That's another layer of loss of control.
I am having a really rough day even though things are going extremely smoothly I am burning out autistically I am annoyed
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I don't know what I used to experience, then. I don't experience sensory overload, I am under-sensitive. But I used to just get so angry and so frustrated and I would just get taken over by it and fall completely apart. I started being able to control it when I was 13/14, and during that year it stopped completely. My brain changed with puberty I think. After that they sent me back to public school.
I am severe anxiety and noise is my trigger that brings on a meltdown then I blackout and then someone tells me that I hit someone and I am like what?
Thanks for the info Dan!
Its interesting how adhd meltdowns are not quite a tantrum but not quite autism meltdown
Tantrum- a kid or adult is upset bc they cant get their way
ADHD- something happends that triggers an intence emotion and you cant effectively communicate so you melt down
Autism- sensory thingys or changes in plans cause a meltdown
Like they r all emotional reactions but they r all different
Thanks for making the video
I don't know why but I keep seeing people on twitter throwing tantrums everyday for the dummies reasons.
My son's ex head teacher told me that when my son had a massive meltdown and had thrown chairs across the classroom that it wasn't a meltdown as my son wasn't crying
Wtf, never actually cry during meltdown after yes when I’m tired and feel sick.
I'm 15 years old and I always have meltdowns like this. So now I think I might have autism
I'm trying to figure out what's going on with my daughter. She will have emotional outbursts when she wants to do something, but is afraid to do it, however the outburst comes after it is all over. Once she overcomes her fear and does what she wanted to do (ie say hi to someone she doesn't know) she will become very upset and start wildly screaming, crying and often hitting and biting herself and anyone around her. She also starts to blindly run away when she's like this, which obviously causes a problem if we are around traffic. I've always been on alert enough to grab her before she gets into trouble. What causes this after she overcomes the thing she was afraid of? If I tell her she did a good job she gets even more upset saying she is terrible and to leave her alone. She is only 5 and has had multiple diagnoses, but everyone says this is different. I just want to know how to help her. This doesn't happen very often, but I feel helpless when it does. I don't try and force her into a stressful situation, this happens by her being afraid to do something and her wanting to overcome it on her own. I've even tried getting her to leave the situation, but I would have to carry her away kicking and screaming.
I do that too. For me its delayed anxiety after dissociation. I'm pretty good at handling things during but the before is obviously distressing and the after is pacing, yelling, and thinking about self injury. And that's with a fairly high level of self control. I eventually am just sent to my room to coping skill it out with sensory activities. The positive reinforcement doesn't really work for me either i do the same thing. The overstimulation kinda spirals with the negative thoughts. A few hours later I'm a little raw feeling but better. I'm in my 20's now with multiple diagnoses. When you get past the big chunk of distress, sensory stuff might help but you have to get over that hump first.
Typical meltdown. But the way to handle is still to let her do the stuff but have coping routines afterwards as well as help her rest up before hand to better cope . personally I’ve had a lot of help with polarizing non reflex glasses to cut out glare as well as musicians earpluggs to help reduce the general stimuli lives doing this leaves more energy over to cope with stressful situations. Also things like sitting in the front of the classroom so you don’t need to see everyone or to a side with one side to a wall can help massivly. Ps for me physical exercise like dancing, walking or swimming has helped prieviously a lot in getting out adrenaline safely with less meltdowns ( still works in an electric wheelchair for ms/ psoriatic arthrities as nature is a factor but not as effective) ... for me the stress accumulates until it goes blam! Also meditation music such as snatram kaur ra ma da sa, tibetan singing bowls etc has a very deep calming effect
I am vry guilty of throwing tantrums🙂 as a kid I was a vry needy kid and I hate that I was like that.....now I’m more subtle about it but I still get mad about stupid things
I would personally love to see a collaboration with you and princess aspian
I think you 2 would make an amazing discussion episode
Can you please do more dyslexia information
As a person with Asperger’s syndrome, things such as meltdowns are foreign to me, I don’t believe I ever had any which is good.
That’s helpful because my sister is diagnosed with autism and I have never seen her have a meltdown.
@@ellanina801 Autism is a spectrum and sometimes it shows differently in girls. She most definitely go through a Shutdown. I,an internal Meltdown. Does she isolate herself when things don't go her way?
Thank you for the excellent explanation.
Than, for info
I’ve always struggled between theese two. What they stand for and how to know when it is the first one, or the other. I’ll hopefully remember it know and pretty sure I know the difference
Hey! First time I'm early!
Green Leaf 🍁
Thanx for info
I know what it's like.
I have both AD HD and Autism, one my roommates is so annoying so I often have Melt downs 😊 they refuse to shower or even wash up,they don't wash their hands.
I am unsure what I have. I would describe it as a meltdown but I have a short recovery time.
@mike gallimore You mean a tantrum.
Clear as mud.
Where is the free ebook?
www.autismhacks.net
Dealing with my asd 3yrs old Baby brought me here.. pls help me to deal with it..
I could really use those headphones.
Howdy from South Carolina!!! USA
…I like the RUclips skateboard on display
Why is 20% of this video an ad
Thank you for this video, its very helpful. Wondering is it possible for a tantrum to turn into a meltdown? ( a child with asd) thanks
I know nobody asked but I have. ADHD dyslexia dysgraphia
Hij is keihard, ijskoud en wil er later nooit over praten. Ik begin een jehek6aan hem rw krijgen....oke ik zie ook dat ik ook dezelfde issues heb maar ik praat er over.
Where's the community post? Can't listen right now
Skip to 3:30 to get to the actual video.
I didn't understand it at first but now I do :) and i don't think I have autism cuz I don't relate for most of the signs but I discovered that I do have meltdown and i didn't know what was happening to me until now . I hate getting wet unless I was bathing but if I wasn't then I'll be so upset and i might cry and i might hit my head too I thought I was being emotional since I was on my period when it happened but it happened again even after my period ended :)
Those commericials really arent't welcome in a clip of this size and about this topic . I need answers not bs
It pays for the channel, and it was marked so you can skip.
👍
Heyyy!!🤩😚
My son will hit himself (head part) when he get mad or hit his ear.
As a kid i use to bang my head for the pain to try and take my mind off the frustration, i would spin and just fall forward or backwards onto concrete and bam, stars, blues, purlpes, red and black... i still do the hitting when i get highly upset tho, even at age 43, its a wonder i dont have brain damage as an adult.... i grew out of it eventually.... i hope it gets better for you and him soon.
You might be able to tell him during a non meltdown to hit his legs, a Wall or have a squeeze thing it has worked for me.
🙌🏼
sent you an email. will send another one from my school account lol I am determined
herbal medicine is the total cure
Why are you out here speaking for autistics, when you are pretty much an average person? What us parents of autistic children who our selves have varying levels of autism traits are all supposed to label our selves? I got serious anxiety issues, couldnt care less about socializing unless its in my interest and etc etc am I supposed to claim that developmentally disabled? Wtf... Let people with real serious issues talk about their challenges not your mild ass issues that 20 % or more of the population deals with.
Why are you so upset. Autistic people barely get accommodations. He is high masking btw. Why are you being so ignorant. Why are you riled up, why can’t their suffering be valid because they can cover it up with smiles.
My job is assisting adults on the spectrum, and line between a tantrum and a meltdown in an adult with autism is very hard for me to distinguish. Sometimes it seems like both are happening at the same time. Honestly I personally do feel like I’m being manipulated by some of my adult people on the spectrum. Everything I try seems to be the wrong thing and I don’t know what to do. Also, just a side note but neurotypical people can get overstimulated as well and feel oppressed and distressed by what might be considered innocuous situations, but maybe neurotypicals are just better at hiding the distress? Anyways thanks for the videos and any advice is appreciated.