Her brother's the asshole, he should have said something privately straight away. The family shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable because Lindsey keeps making crass comments and Lindsey shouldn't have had to be embarrassed like that in front of everyone.
@@Cafeallday222 then that’s a win. She never comes over again and says weird rude things, everybody is happy lol. The sister sat through a lot before she actually said something. He could have prevented her taking matters into her own hands with one little conversation and he chose not to. He put his family and his girlfriend in that position.
Listening to this story made me think that she might be neurodivergent. I google things I own to see how much they are and what they go for. I’m not saying what she did was okay and that I would ever do that to other people but if she’s never quite understood social cues or had someone to guide her then I get it.
I thought the same! Audhd and definitely felt weird about the assumption that fact-finding is malicious. Just tell this lady - we are very uncomfortable with this. 😢 Sounds like my worst fear.
Definitely a possibility. My older brother's ex was autistic and absolutely obsessed with how much things cost and how much money people were potentially bringing in. It wasn't malicious, though no matter how much we explained talking about money like that can be considered rude, the obsession never faded.
I agree that everyone sucks. Don'r calculate how much people spend on gifts & ask how they still have money left and then be shocked when you get called a golddigger. If someone is being rude and cricising the money you spend on on things in your home - say something then. Don't let it fester and call them something worse later. And the brother should have said something before the visit.
I didn't grow up with money, single mom with many kids and our lives were frugal but we didn't lack for what we needed. I would NEVER ask anyone how much they spent on art, gifts, clothing or accessories but I might ask how much someone spent on an appliance that I was looking to replace. I am very transparent but I would never google the price of a gift that was given to me or anyone else. I also don't believe in asking how much a person weighs or how much money they have, it's none of my business but that's my personal opinion. Asking age is another thing, if relevant, I might but I don't just go around asking people that. I think OP went overboard but her brother should have spoken to his GF and everyone sucks.
Totally disagree. Lindsay was totally disrespectful and tacky. Her not having home training is not the OP’s issue. I grew up very conscious about money, I have not once gone to someone else’s home and questioned how much they make, how much the spent on jewellery or calculating the amount and announcing it at dinner. Making excuses for someone’s bad behaviour does nothing to fix the behaviour in the long run.
It all felt a little much to me. Lindsay's comments were disrespectful, OP could have dialed back on the snark. But I tend to try and phrase legit criticisms in ways that people are more likely to receive, especially if it seems like the issue stems from ignorance as opposed to malice.
Sure but when we think this way, we have very little compassion for those struggle socially. Personally I am grateful you don’t have any issues socializing that are this big (but I have had some and I remember being judged in school by people with your thinking instead of understanding there may be something else going on.
Lindsay very clearly made the people at this party uncomfortable. The OP took her brother aside and nicely asked that he speak with her about her behaviour. She redirected multiple questions by this person. On the final day of their visit the OP finally had enough and said something. She made her just as uncomfortable as she had made the others around her feel. If you went around making the people around you feel uncomfortable just like Lindsay did in this situation and continued even after they asked you to stop, maybe you should reflect on your own behaviour. Everyone has their limits and the OP had reached hers.
Sounds like maybe Lindsey grew up in much lower class than her partner and his family. It is generally rude to ask how much things cost/ how much someone makes in society. Though everyone is different and not everyone is taught that. My bf grew up very poor in a a rather uneducated town with little parental guidance. I grew up similarly but with better schooling and having rich grandparents which gave me an advantage. My Christmas’s at home were small and simple , but the ones at grandmas were extravagant. My bf recently met my grandparents and stayed at one of their many homes. He was blown away by the cost of things. Constantly telling me “this is a million dollar home” “there’s 150$ in this cabinet just in mugs” “this air purifier is 200$” . He never said these things to my grandparents but he was just kind of starstruck and it seems Lindsey may have been in a similar situation.
"Have had to do blue collar jobs" a lot of blue collar jobs make lots of money these days. Btw if you don't want to go to college or don't come from money, become an electrician or something
I agree that OP didn't need to say what she said in front of everyone, but it is completely beyond rude how the brother's girlfriend acted. It's one thing to ask out of curiosity how much something costs, but to literally go to the extend of googling the cost of all of the presents, and then thinking its okay to tell the family? I'd be livid too.
I was always taught never to tell people how much you spend on a gift and to also never ask how much was the gift. It’s just rude and comes off as ungrateful. Also going around and googling stuff in peoples houses is just rude. Like I would feel so uncomfortable.
16:08 OP sounds like she wasn’t raise right as well. This lady is definitely not a gold digger, she’s not asking for money LOL. She’s just amazed of how much everything is probably because this is not a lifestyle she’s used to. OP should learn to be more sensitive of those in all walks of life and learn to be an adult and talk privately to someone if she’s really bothered.
It depends on the person to what degree they are comfortable discussing money. I think about 3 out of the blue are perfectly fine. However, to hyper-fixate on it as Lindsey was doing makes her the “asshole” in my opinion. Finances are a personal subject. Hyper-fixation on any topic is uncomfortable, but exponentially worse when its a personal topic. Was OP harsh, absolutely. Was her reply bitchy? 100%. But Lindsey was setting herself up for a rude reply when she asked too many rude questions.
“People don’t realize that there’s money out there and people make it”. Kinda condescending. Not everyone has the means to make it. It takes money sometimes to make money.
Yep. That comment bothered me. Yes there is money out there but all of the multimillionaires and billionaires are hoarding at all. It's simply passes between those people.
Everyone sucks except for maybe the step Dad. Op sucks the most. I can see how she would feel like the brother’s girlfriend is just after money but there are a number of explanations and reasons for why she was asking those questions. Maybe she was trying to get to know everyone. What if she was asking several questions and only a small amount of them involved cost/money but op didn’t care to remember the questions that were asked if they didn’t mention money.
I definitely don’t agree with her tactics however coming from my upbringing if someone opened a Cartier watch in front of me I would be thinking you can spend that much money on a Christmas gift what are you doing to help others if you have this type of money?
@@samanthaz4756 lol you would think but I am definitely neurodivergent and probably would say something lol but I would try and cover it up by acting like I wanted to get one for myself even tho I know I never would. 😂🤣😂
You shouldn’t talk about money like that but some people miss really important social cues, maybe her parents never told her. My kids used to do it all the time (and with age) until I told them to shut it. She should have let her brother do it or got it know her more then spoke to her (gently). She probably comes from a family with less so her mind is blown. Also wondering if she autistic or something.
15:46 Is it not classist to regard speaking of money as rude or immature. We live in a capitalist economy in United States. It surrounds everything we do the fact that it’s taboo to know the price of peoples lives just for general curiosity it’s laughable and the rich people way of gaslighting the poor into silent suffrage
Um, I beg to differ about whether u can be fored for discussing how much u make. I'm 50 my husband's 55...we both have been told that at separate jobs recently
I've asked people how much they're making before. In my family we didn't grow up with much and we survived so money didn't seem important. We saw people with money all the time didn't mean they was happy. I'd rather spend my whole life poor then spend my whole life chasing paper printed off somewhere by a person that is helping enslave us. We could all be well off and have anything we wanted but why would the government do that when they can keep it all and we continue to take the scraps
Op sucks in this. I can understand how she felt her boundaries were crossed but she pointed out that she asked her brother to handle it and she knew he didn’t so why not decide to just pull gf to side. You knew she didn’t know she was making you uncomfortable. Also gold digger would be the last thing on my mind because it didn’t sound like she was impressed on how much they were spending on things more disturbed by how much they spent. They likely spent gf entire check on one item so I can understand the sticker shock.
Mmmm as a younger sister I have seen my sisters go in and out of damaging relationships and after the first time I pointed out to one of my sisters that her then boyfriend wasn't giving the best vibes, she went of on me and I tapped out and let it be and from there I learned to keep my thoughts to myself, and look from a far when sh*t hits the fan. But when you are so concentrated on prices and make me feel that one they either want to brag about it and tap themselves on the back for buying it, or some people pretty much base people worth by what they have and casually try to take advantage of people because " hey you got money to by an expensive looking phone, you can definitely get me the latest iPhone as a gift and it won't hurt your pockets" But OP was a total A-hole. You just don't act that way towards anyone. No matter how much of a "golddigger" that girl is (if she is) when you 2 are along and anybody ask for anything's price you point out the value. Because at least like that it's obvious that you have no intention on putting people down because of the money you have (earned or not) and avoid the coming across as thinking you're better than them because of it. You can even talk to her privately with her and be like "we don't really like talking about how much anything cost because it holds a much important value for us for whom we got it or got it for us. But also trying to figure out in a settled way what my cause this curiosity, could be she's are driven and the idea of seeing something like that not in a museum picked fer curiosity or she's feeling what she got for them wasn't as expensive and feels her gift won't be well received because of it, maybe she was overwhelmed with the whole situation, or even if she's actually a flat out golddigger but you just don't put her down just for the heck of it.
Some people are not raised with etiquette, sounds like she had no idea that she was committing faux pas. If OP was so classy and well to do … she should have known better than to be nasty.
Based on this post alone she sounds like she grew up poor or at the very least not very wealthy and she genuinely doesn’t know how to act and is also in disbelief how much this family is able to spend casually
Yes such an asshole. I grew up poor as fuck and money is something I'm ALWAYS aware of. I would have done the same as her. truly when you grow up barely being fed even as an adult watching people blow money (like what this sounds like) I'd fixate on it too. I dont care if it's socially polite. If you hung a big ass painting in your house and I can look it up and see that it cost thousands of dollars I'm going to tell you its beautiful, but I'm going to tell you that's crazy to ME! Like that's rent and Bill's and food but for them its collecting dust on the wall. They sound like a lovely bunch. 🙃
If you go as far as to google the price of everything and then being proud to announce it to everyone then you have issues. Growing up poor is not an excuse to not have manners.
Then be prepared to be embarrassed because if you get to tell everyone your opinion with no tact, then everyone else gets to share their opinions about you.
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Her brother's the asshole, he should have said something privately straight away. The family shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable because Lindsey keeps making crass comments and Lindsey shouldn't have had to be embarrassed like that in front of everyone.
Sister is, too. She didn’t have to do that. I would not return to that family’s house if someone attacked me like that - for whatever reason
@@Cafeallday222 then that’s a win. She never comes over again and says weird rude things, everybody is happy lol. The sister sat through a lot before she actually said something. He could have prevented her taking matters into her own hands with one little conversation and he chose not to. He put his family and his girlfriend in that position.
me being named Lindsey reading this 👁️👄👁️
Listening to this story made me think that she might be neurodivergent. I google things I own to see how much they are and what they go for. I’m not saying what she did was okay and that I would ever do that to other people but if she’s never quite understood social cues or had someone to guide her then I get it.
I thought the same! Audhd and definitely felt weird about the assumption that fact-finding is malicious. Just tell this lady - we are very uncomfortable with this. 😢 Sounds like my worst fear.
Definitely a possibility. My older brother's ex was autistic and absolutely obsessed with how much things cost and how much money people were potentially bringing in. It wasn't malicious, though no matter how much we explained talking about money like that can be considered rude, the obsession never faded.
I grew up BROKE and im not stupid so i would never ask that. Shes just got no manners
I agree that everyone sucks. Don'r calculate how much people spend on gifts & ask how they still have money left and then be shocked when you get called a golddigger.
If someone is being rude and cricising the money you spend on on things in your home - say something then. Don't let it fester and call them something worse later. And the brother should have said something before the visit.
I didn't grow up with money, single mom with many kids and our lives were frugal but we didn't lack for what we needed. I would NEVER ask anyone how much they spent on art, gifts, clothing or accessories but I might ask how much someone spent on an appliance that I was looking to replace. I am very transparent but I would never google the price of a gift that was given to me or anyone else. I also don't believe in asking how much a person weighs or how much money they have, it's none of my business but that's my personal opinion. Asking age is another thing, if relevant, I might but I don't just go around asking people that. I think OP went overboard but her brother should have spoken to his GF and everyone sucks.
This girl sounds very neurodivergent. Does not sound like she was doing it maliciously (I.e. not saying why was my gift $ when everyone else was $$$)
That was exactly what I was thinking.
Totally disagree. Lindsay was totally disrespectful and tacky. Her not having home training is not the OP’s issue.
I grew up very conscious about money, I have not once gone to someone else’s home and questioned how much they make, how much the spent on jewellery or calculating the amount and announcing it at dinner. Making excuses for someone’s bad behaviour does nothing to fix the behaviour in the long run.
It all felt a little much to me. Lindsay's comments were disrespectful, OP could have dialed back on the snark. But I tend to try and phrase legit criticisms in ways that people are more likely to receive, especially if it seems like the issue stems from ignorance as opposed to malice.
Sure but when we think this way, we have very little compassion for those struggle socially. Personally I am grateful you don’t have any issues socializing that are this big (but I have had some and I remember being judged in school by people with your thinking instead of understanding there may be something else going on.
Lindsay very clearly made the people at this party uncomfortable. The OP took her brother aside and nicely asked that he speak with her about her behaviour. She redirected multiple questions by this person.
On the final day of their visit the OP finally had enough and said something. She made her just as uncomfortable as she had made the others around her feel.
If you went around making the people around you feel uncomfortable just like Lindsay did in this situation and continued even after they asked you to stop, maybe you should reflect on your own behaviour.
Everyone has their limits and the OP had reached hers.
Sounds like maybe Lindsey grew up in much lower class than her partner and his family. It is generally rude to ask how much things cost/ how much someone makes in society. Though everyone is different and not everyone is taught that.
My bf grew up very poor in a a rather uneducated town with little parental guidance. I grew up similarly but with better schooling and having rich grandparents which gave me an advantage. My Christmas’s at home were small and simple , but the ones at grandmas were extravagant. My bf recently met my grandparents and stayed at one of their many homes. He was blown away by the cost of things. Constantly telling me “this is a million dollar home” “there’s 150$ in this cabinet just in mugs” “this air purifier is 200$” . He never said these things to my grandparents but he was just kind of starstruck and it seems Lindsey may have been in a similar situation.
"Was it grandma?" Cracked me up 😂
"Have had to do blue collar jobs" a lot of blue collar jobs make lots of money these days. Btw if you don't want to go to college or don't come from money, become an electrician or something
I agree that OP didn't need to say what she said in front of everyone, but it is completely beyond rude how the brother's girlfriend acted. It's one thing to ask out of curiosity how much something costs, but to literally go to the extend of googling the cost of all of the presents, and then thinking its okay to tell the family? I'd be livid too.
I was always taught never to tell people how much you spend on a gift and to also never ask how much was the gift. It’s just rude and comes off as ungrateful. Also going around and googling stuff in peoples houses is just rude. Like I would feel so uncomfortable.
This story sounds really Italian. Its a culture where is really acceptable to show of own self.
16:08 OP sounds like she wasn’t raise right as well. This lady is definitely not a gold digger, she’s not asking for money LOL. She’s just amazed of how much everything is probably because this is not a lifestyle she’s used to. OP should learn to be more sensitive of those in all walks of life and learn to be an adult and talk privately to someone if she’s really bothered.
I love Matt and Amy! Do they have their own podcast yet? ❤
💕 You rock! 🤘
It depends on the person to what degree they are comfortable discussing money. I think about 3 out of the blue are perfectly fine. However, to hyper-fixate on it as Lindsey was doing makes her the “asshole” in my opinion. Finances are a personal subject. Hyper-fixation on any topic is uncomfortable, but exponentially worse when its a personal topic. Was OP harsh, absolutely. Was her reply bitchy? 100%. But Lindsey was setting herself up for a rude reply when she asked too many rude questions.
“People don’t realize that there’s money out there and people make it”. Kinda condescending. Not everyone has the means to make it. It takes money sometimes to make money.
Yep. That comment bothered me. Yes there is money out there but all of the multimillionaires and billionaires are hoarding at all. It's simply passes between those people.
Everyone sucks except for maybe the step Dad. Op sucks the most. I can see how she would feel like the brother’s girlfriend is just after money but there are a number of explanations and reasons for why she was asking those questions. Maybe she was trying to get to know everyone. What if she was asking several questions and only a small amount of them involved cost/money but op didn’t care to remember the questions that were asked if they didn’t mention money.
Nta
Never knew you are on the autism spectrum. Makes me love ya even more. 💜
I definitely don’t agree with her tactics however coming from my upbringing if someone opened a Cartier watch in front of me I would be thinking you can spend that much money on a Christmas gift what are you doing to help others if you have this type of money?
The key thing is you would be thinking it - I know I would be too! I'd definitely not go to the extent of actually saying it.
@@samanthaz4756 lol you would think but I am definitely neurodivergent and probably would say something lol but I would try and cover it up by acting like I wanted to get one for myself even tho I know I never would. 😂🤣😂
You shouldn’t talk about money like that but some people miss really important social cues, maybe her parents never told her. My kids used to do it all the time (and with age) until I told them to shut it. She should have let her brother do it or got it know her more then spoke to her (gently). She probably comes from a family with less so her mind is blown. Also wondering if she autistic or something.
15:46 Is it not classist to regard speaking of money as rude or immature. We live in a capitalist economy in United States. It surrounds everything we do the fact that it’s taboo to know the price of peoples lives just for general curiosity it’s laughable and the rich people way of gaslighting the poor into silent suffrage
OP sucks, girlfriend sucks, brother sucks
Eat the rich
Um, I beg to differ about whether u can be fored for discussing how much u make. I'm 50 my husband's 55...we both have been told that at separate jobs recently
I've asked people how much they're making before. In my family we didn't grow up with much and we survived so money didn't seem important. We saw people with money all the time didn't mean they was happy. I'd rather spend my whole life poor then spend my whole life chasing paper printed off somewhere by a person that is helping enslave us. We could all be well off and have anything we wanted but why would the government do that when they can keep it all and we continue to take the scraps
Op sucks in this. I can understand how she felt her boundaries were crossed but she pointed out that she asked her brother to handle it and she knew he didn’t so why not decide to just pull gf to side. You knew she didn’t know she was making you uncomfortable. Also gold digger would be the last thing on my mind because it didn’t sound like she was impressed on how much they were spending on things more disturbed by how much they spent. They likely spent gf entire check on one item so I can understand the sticker shock.
Rich people always think poor people want their money and their boring life. No babe I don’t need your money I’m probably happier than you
In South Korea I think it’s very normal to ask how much you make. Etc anything to do Money
Mmmm as a younger sister I have seen my sisters go in and out of damaging relationships and after the first time I pointed out to one of my sisters that her then boyfriend wasn't giving the best vibes, she went of on me and I tapped out and let it be and from there I learned to keep my thoughts to myself, and look from a far when sh*t hits the fan. But when you are so concentrated on prices and make me feel that one they either want to brag about it and tap themselves on the back for buying it, or some people pretty much base people worth by what they have and casually try to take advantage of people because " hey you got money to by an expensive looking phone, you can definitely get me the latest iPhone as a gift and it won't hurt your pockets"
But OP was a total A-hole. You just don't act that way towards anyone. No matter how much of a "golddigger" that girl is (if she is) when you 2 are along and anybody ask for anything's price you point out the value. Because at least like that it's obvious that you have no intention on putting people down because of the money you have (earned or not) and avoid the coming across as thinking you're better than them because of it. You can even talk to her privately with her and be like "we don't really like talking about how much anything cost because it holds a much important value for us for whom we got it or got it for us. But also trying to figure out in a settled way what my cause this curiosity, could be she's are driven and the idea of seeing something like that not in a museum picked fer curiosity or she's feeling what she got for them wasn't as expensive and feels her gift won't be well received because of it, maybe she was overwhelmed with the whole situation, or even if she's actually a flat out golddigger but you just don't put her down just for the heck of it.
I was thinking of everyones the asshole for this one. But yta was a good judgement too imo
Some people are not raised with etiquette, sounds like she had no idea that she was committing faux pas. If OP was so classy and well to do … she should have known better than to be nasty.
Based on this post alone she sounds like she grew up poor or at the very least not very wealthy and she genuinely doesn’t know how to act and is also in disbelief how much this family is able to spend casually
I wonder if the girlfriend is neurodivergent
Yes such an asshole. I grew up poor as fuck and money is something I'm ALWAYS aware of. I would have done the same as her. truly when you grow up barely being fed even as an adult watching people blow money (like what this sounds like) I'd fixate on it too. I dont care if it's socially polite. If you hung a big ass painting in your house and I can look it up and see that it cost thousands of dollars I'm going to tell you its beautiful, but I'm going to tell you that's crazy to ME! Like that's rent and Bill's and food but for them its collecting dust on the wall. They sound like a lovely bunch. 🙃
If you go as far as to google the price of everything and then being proud to announce it to everyone then you have issues. Growing up poor is not an excuse to not have manners.
Then be prepared to be embarrassed because if you get to tell everyone your opinion with no tact, then everyone else gets to share their opinions about you.
Well then you’re going to be called out like in this example lol 🤷🏻♀️