In Defence of Breaking Dawn Part 2

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  • Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
  • batman sporkle
    Patreon: / cjthex
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    Edited by CJ The X

Комментарии • 2,1 тыс.

  • @cjthex
    @cjthex  2 года назад +4915

    The last Twilight movie is called "Breaking Dawn Part 2".
    I don't split videos into part 1s and 2s.
    This is one video about one movie.
    I believe in you guys. You'll get through this together.

    • @spence98
      @spence98 2 года назад +130

      i wondered how long you would go without adding this addendum - turns out it was 9 hours
      good video btw

    • @gorimbaud
      @gorimbaud 2 года назад +76

      i wondered about this for exactly one second, but i had already watched all your videos in the past week so i knew there wasn't another video

    • @juelsisgewd
      @juelsisgewd 2 года назад +125

      Can't wait for part 3!

    • @entropy7999
      @entropy7999 2 года назад +62

      I don't know why but I get the odd urge to call you a coward for adding this addendum instead of letting people stew in their confusion for a time. (also great video!)

    • @DontMockMySmock
      @DontMockMySmock 2 года назад +7

      maybe put the title of the movie in quote marks to make it clearer?

  • @chesh1re_cat
    @chesh1re_cat 2 года назад +3942

    Headcanon: Jacob saying "So should I start calling you dad?" has nothing to do with the events that have unfolded. He just thinks Edward is daddy

    • @meiisintheuni8153
      @meiisintheuni8153 2 года назад +321

      I think I will accept that as the only possible explanation

    • @emilyrln
      @emilyrln 2 года назад +106

      Thank you for this. I accept it wholeheartedly.

    • @partycitydumpster
      @partycitydumpster 2 года назад +176

      Jacob was so obsessed with being with Bella because hes destined to be daddy. Jacob is now runny egg's 3rd parent sorta, so he's suggesting the three of them form a polycule where they refer to one another as Mom and Dad like parents do

    • @g.j.9515
      @g.j.9515 2 года назад +56

      finally i can rest easy. edward is not daddy at all and its cursed but nowhere nearly as cursed as baby romantic partner.

    • @Treegona
      @Treegona 2 года назад +134

      The solution is Bella dates them both and Jacob imprinting is a kind of third parent "oh, this is My Child now." thing. Jacob calling Edward dad is at once "you are the father of my child" the same way a dad might call his wife "mom" in reference to their child, and testing the waters for calling him daddy in bed.
      No I do not take criticism.

  • @elix1133
    @elix1133 2 года назад +3161

    I love how Alice is universally attractive to every queer person I've ever interacted with

    • @nickziegler1904
      @nickziegler1904 2 года назад +157

      It's not just queer people

    • @elix1133
      @elix1133 2 года назад +334

      @@nickziegler1904 Alice is fucking unstoppable she's too strong

    • @riersonjohnson1547
      @riersonjohnson1547 2 года назад +473

      alice is like an inverse pansexual. instead of being attracted to everyone regardless of gender, she is attractive to everyone regardless of sexuality

    • @annabeatrizzimmermann7708
      @annabeatrizzimmermann7708 2 года назад +14

      omg yes

    • @ayadean3491
      @ayadean3491 2 года назад +59

      @@riersonjohnson1547 HER POWER!!!

  • @valentinkoch6972
    @valentinkoch6972 2 года назад +3867

    CJ being down bad for every single character makes this video essay so much better.

    • @Blueeyesthewarrior
      @Blueeyesthewarrior 2 года назад +161

      Truly an accurate representation of the entire Twilight fandom.

    • @zursee
      @zursee 2 года назад +43

      and they're right!!

    • @juniperberryyyy
      @juniperberryyyy 2 года назад +20

      who isn't tho

    • @sarroumarbeu6810
      @sarroumarbeu6810 2 года назад +5

      Oh definitely

    • @beyondviolet
      @beyondviolet 2 года назад +26

      my original plan was to skip this video and jus read some of the comments, but this convinced me

  • @JessieGender1
    @JessieGender1 2 года назад +3118

    I love the way you yell at me about a movie that I have yet to see.

    • @MutantAndProud
      @MutantAndProud 2 года назад +66

      If you think THIS is great, wait until you check out....uh pretty much everything else they've posted, lol. It's all rapid loud-talking and non-stop fidgets and immaculately worded insight after immaculately worded insight. ❤️

    • @orchidcapitalofitaly9780
      @orchidcapitalofitaly9780 2 года назад +23

      Jessie gender! I love your channel

    • @FlashBangBANGz
      @FlashBangBANGz 2 года назад +14

      I'm subscribed to both of y'all.

    • @GINSHOTGUN
      @GINSHOTGUN 2 года назад +2

      @@MutantAndProud Indeed

    • @kpotter-0
      @kpotter-0 8 месяцев назад +1

      I forgot that I've never watched the movies bc of all the media related to the movies I've consumed related to it

  • @aleksdreeve8878
    @aleksdreeve8878 2 года назад +1095

    The sudden “do that to MEEEEE” absolutely killed me.

  • @Shanspeare
    @Shanspeare 2 года назад +6419

    This is literally the only channel on RUclips and I’m grateful for it

    • @ozge8262
      @ozge8262 2 года назад +52

      shanspeare!! i had a feeling you'd be watching this channel too!! ♡ i love your videos

    • @emptysoul8462
      @emptysoul8462 2 года назад +22

      Love to see some of my favourite creators in one place! You’re vids are great!!❤️

    • @sleepysun555
      @sleepysun555 2 года назад +6

      I love your videos btw

    • @spookyho5994
      @spookyho5994 2 года назад +8

      SHANSPEARE OMG 🥺🥺

    • @irina5778
      @irina5778 2 года назад +23

      it made me so happy to hear you in the video and knowing that my two favorite youtubers know eachother URGH !!!!!

  • @elix1133
    @elix1133 2 года назад +1743

    I feel so validated that:
    1) someone finally recognized the genius of the fake fight
    2) someone understands how complex the characters were portrayed randomly in this last movie despite there being no need or precedent for that
    3) someone thought way too much about the ramifications of everyone's powers as well as how they interact with each other and create chaotic feedback loops of psychic ability like I did whenever I watched these movies

    • @maijennasis
      @maijennasis 2 года назад +5

      yess

    • @chloe._.
      @chloe._. 2 года назад +45

      I feel all of these, but I find it especially cathartic to hear someone else justify the fake fight. I've been alone in my appreciation for it for too long :,(

    • @AquarianValkari
      @AquarianValkari 2 года назад +22

      This is why I love the internet...its a guarantee that somehow someway there are "someones" that validate very specific things you go through. Your bubble of people :3

    • @emmadenton1826
      @emmadenton1826 2 года назад +15

      its been 10 YEARS and my opinion on that fight scene is still so heavily biased by the gut-wrenching shock of watching that scene in the cinema for the first time. The image of Carlisle's decapitated dead still sends shivers down my spine. Even though it's objectively an amazing scene, my first thought is still "god NO" when someone mentions the scene

    • @elix1133
      @elix1133 2 года назад +9

      @Emma Denton my mom is allergic to corn so we don't go to the theaters often, but I remember first seeing that movie at home and oh my God was I confused and upset. My gay little autistic brain was like ??? these people can't die they're too hot I don't understand. When I realized it was fake I literally had to pause it and come back in a few minutes because I was so shocked and angry but once the shock wore away it made a lot of sense. I suspected something was off because it was too visceral in a way that the other movies hadn't been, they were violent but in a cartoony way if that makes sense. This fight had actual stakes and that was weird.

  • @JToddles
    @JToddles 2 года назад +2396

    the bi-lighting, the crinkled up Twilight posters, the t-shirt, the deep seeded dive into all of my mixed feelings about twilight and why i revisit these movies often

    • @ayadean3491
      @ayadean3491 2 года назад +5

      SO TRUUUUU

    • @dangelobenjamin
      @dangelobenjamin 2 года назад +1

      No stop please finish this thought

    • @MxrmGxrl4
      @MxrmGxrl4 2 года назад

      Glad I’m not the only one with mixed feelings…yet I’m simultaneously horrified 😂

  • @elyseshires6314
    @elyseshires6314 2 года назад +171

    “a bad movie is bad unless i like it, then it’s camp” - unknown twitter user

  • @yourpalfred
    @yourpalfred 2 года назад +2020

    When you asked if Edward has panoptic vision, a wave of body horror cascaded over me. Truly chilling to imagine Edward Cullen being the All Seeing Eye in every room he's in, using a crowd of people like a series of security cameras he's monitoring. Stephanie truly harnessed some kind of wild genius energy when she wrote these books, if she were a more practiced writer they could have been very different.

    • @sylvie_loves_frogs4951
      @sylvie_loves_frogs4951 2 года назад +67

      the biggest plot twist is that edward cullen is actually a member of the Eye (listen to the magnus archives)

    • @booklover8081
      @booklover8081 2 года назад +44

      @@sylvie_loves_frogs4951 Edward Cullen is secretly Jonah Magnus apparently.

    • @doll_dress_swap12
      @doll_dress_swap12 2 года назад +104

      If all the interesting world building concepts, powers, and cast of side characters were the main focus of twilight these books could be an amazing dark romance horror fantasy.

    • @Spaceczarina
      @Spaceczarina 2 года назад +89

      Stephanie really does have a knack of fun and interesting worldbuilding. it's just a shame that she chose a very mundane and toxic romance

    • @birdiejett3163
      @birdiejett3163 2 года назад +1

      Ceaseless Watcher turn your Gaze upon this Wretched Franchise

  • @masterabi-wan8566
    @masterabi-wan8566 2 года назад +1724

    “Fuck the fortune teller I want the PLOT ARMOR” THIS SENT ME OUT INTO ORBIT. This video scratched an unreachable part of my brain and I’m here for it.

  • @ActuallyAnanya
    @ActuallyAnanya 2 года назад +2158

    Alice's visions support the idea that free will exists in the Twilight universe but the whole phenomenon of imprinting among werewolves points towards determinism and they also happen to be the only beings Alice can't have visions of. I really want to believe it's an accident that Steph wrote the only non-white people in her series as the ones unable to write their own destinies but given her background and stances on other topics I'm not too hopeful. Anyways isn't it crazy how 9/11 lead to all of this

    • @juniperberryyyy
      @juniperberryyyy 2 года назад +19

      9/11 lead to what part exactly?

    • @lizv2428
      @lizv2428 2 года назад +228

      @@juniperberryyyy basically edward is based off of gerard way from my chemical romance, a band which started in reaction to 9/11

    • @ActuallyAnanya
      @ActuallyAnanya 2 года назад +320

      @@juniperberryyyy My Chemical Romance was formed literally the day after 9/11, as a direct result of the tragedy to help the band members process their emotions about the event. Stephenie Meyer had a celebrity crush on Gerard Way (MCR frontman) and he became the muse for the story that became Twilight.
      The chain of events actually keeps going if you consider the fact that 50 Shades of Grey was originally a Twilight fanfic. So a lot of people talk about the "9/11 to 50 Shades" pipeline.

    • @hal7741
      @hal7741 2 года назад +154

      @@ActuallyAnanya and Robert Pattinson starred in a movie that ended with 9/11 the plot is expanding

    • @lucyandecember2843
      @lucyandecember2843 2 года назад +23

      @@ActuallyAnanya damn thats a crazy line of events lol

  • @carriemccrorie3717
    @carriemccrorie3717 2 года назад +545

    I grew up with chickens and when we wanted them to zone out we flipped them upside down instead of covering their eyes.

    • @cjthex
      @cjthex  2 года назад +248

      alternative techniques!!!!!

    • @skypaver989
      @skypaver989 2 года назад

      If you do that with furbies they turn evil

    • @miriamvlachoulis6875
      @miriamvlachoulis6875 11 месяцев назад +6

      Tonic immobility

  • @majmak9604
    @majmak9604 2 года назад +340

    "F*ck the fortune teller! I want the plot armor." Is my new favorite line in anything, ever... And pretty much summarizes the whole Twilight series.

  • @racoon2623
    @racoon2623 2 года назад +631

    the feeling of “this world is unintentionally so complex and interesting what the fuck” juxtaposed with “and then we replace fire hydrants with gas cans and don’t tell anybody” is actually religious

  • @adelaidefox9707
    @adelaidefox9707 2 года назад +1467

    OK,, SO! About Bella having her vampire abilities when she is still human! She isn’t the only one! Alice had visions of the future which landed her in the asylum where she was turned. I’m not sure if this is mentioned in the series or just in the other canon books but it does set precedent for some especially powerful vampires having powers before being turned! And from Midnight Sun we learn that Edward has trouble reading Charlie’s mind, so somehow powers are inherited (?). Very strange, but also intriguing!

    • @missyllaineous
      @missyllaineous 2 года назад +204

      I love the idea that vampires are just humans strongly intensified, and the reason they need blood is because they're burning their lives out at such an accelerated rate and they need lots of human fuel to keep functioning.
      Some of the best supernatural creatures are the human ones, I think.

    • @katie1921
      @katie1921 2 года назад +216

      Love that Charlie detail where Edward’s like “oh fuck this whole time I just thought that meant he was stupid”

    • @madiis18account
      @madiis18account 2 года назад +140

      Also canonically from the get-go Alice struggled with visions of the future that involved Bella. They were much harder for her to interpret and often had chunks missing, same for things involving Charlie later on.

    • @metoo3342
      @metoo3342 2 года назад +37

      Benjamin also had powers before he was turned.

    • @doll_dress_swap12
      @doll_dress_swap12 2 года назад +79

      The twins in the Volturi both exhibited potential while human, which is why Aro turned them once they were old enough to do it.

  • @JoaoJGabriel
    @JoaoJGabriel 2 года назад +469

    "I had a bout of poor mental health lately, and instead of seeking help I rewatched all these movies with a little bit of drool coming out of my mouth..." is the story of my life

    • @ThatWeirdFinn
      @ThatWeirdFinn 2 года назад +2

      Well, I've been looking for a psychotherapist for almost a year now, and finally gave up. I think I am better off not trying so fucking hard and constantly getting shut down. :D So: you've saved SO MUCH mental health energy by just watching movies!!

    • @JoaoJGabriel
      @JoaoJGabriel 2 года назад +10

      @@ThatWeirdFinn on a more serious note, therapy and medication are very useful tools to have, and I hope you get access to them. But even you do, if you live with a chronic disorder, eventually you'll have to accept that you won't be always at your best, most healthy, self. And also, there are other tools that you can use for your own benefit, like a strong social net, healthy eating and sleeping, self awareness, meditation, mindset... the list goes on, and it's definitely not just the standard, capital attached, we all hear that is necessary

  • @Selinas_Shelf
    @Selinas_Shelf 2 года назад +524

    speaking as a recovered Twihard, seeing that fake fight for the first time on opening night in a theatre full of fans is still my most memorable cinema experience. truly transcendental.

    • @artbyflorina
      @artbyflorina Год назад +9

      yes literally

    • @ingridbrindle3123
      @ingridbrindle3123 Год назад +24

      FOR REAL the gasps, the shock, the awe, we were on the edge of our seats 😭

    • @agnes8610
      @agnes8610 Год назад +15

      I was ready to leave the cinema, for the first time ever, when they beheaded Daddy Carlisle. I was so done with this movie. Glad I stayed until they clarified that it was all just a vision. 😂

    • @ElizaArika
      @ElizaArika 10 месяцев назад +9

      The several gasps of "wtf that was not in the books!!"

  • @alexmooney7474
    @alexmooney7474 2 года назад +566

    I think I've watched this video 15 or 20 times by now. The cadence. The insight. The vocabulary. The pop culture references. The pure comedic timing. It's all just a masterpiece. It is, dare I say it...GOOD ART. Thank you, CJ, for making this.

  • @peri_gee
    @peri_gee 2 года назад +666

    love the 4.5 minute breakdown on Jane's brilliant characterization & Dakota's nuance portrayal of her. The franchise has somehow the most amazing side characters & minor villains yet doesn't do much with them, but the concepts are solid that I confess I steal some of them for D&D characters.

    • @herewegoagain4033
      @herewegoagain4033 2 года назад +54

      That's one of the criticisms of the story we focus on the most boring characters Bella and Edward when there's an ice berge of more interesting characters.
      Take rosaly, she almost got married and almost got everything she wanted except a child. Was killed and r worded by her future husband and his friend was turned and systematically murder all of them leaveing her husband for last so he knew she was coming and showed up in her wedding dress.
      But nooooooooooo we have the two emo kids making awkward eyes at each other.

    • @janascepkova5682
      @janascepkova5682 2 года назад +6

      @@daniarocio5001 it's a role play fantasy game. They play if in stranger things at the beginning if you ve seen that

    • @herewegoagain4033
      @herewegoagain4033 2 года назад +5

      @@daniarocio5001 true but Edward was fashioned off of Gard way from MCR, also I myslef and an emo kid but atleast I'm 14 and deep lol (not actually 14 🤣)
      Also D&D is a table top RPG game you play with your friends or strangers but results may very when playing with strangers. Think skyrim but you actually have an impact on the world you play depending on your DM.
      If you want an example I would suggest checking out Critical Roll warning tho it's usually 3 hour+ vods and they are on what can be equated to season 3 or campaign 3.

  • @Blizzic
    @Blizzic 2 года назад +714

    I try to avoid watching videos about stuff I’m not familiar with, but I saw this and was immediately like “Welp. Time to watch a video about Twilight.”

  • @e.s.r5809
    @e.s.r5809 2 года назад +520

    I literally never noticed that bit about Aro and this essay reminded me that Dakota Fanning and Michael Sheen are incredible actors. Also that this series was elevated by actors who were way too good for the script. Also that Lee Pace and Rami Malek in one film is the treat we may never have again

  • @dominicburke8908
    @dominicburke8908 2 года назад +95

    Jacob being Rasputin’s Pokémon is honestly the only interpretation of their relationship that I’ll accept now

  • @natashaelina
    @natashaelina 2 года назад +618

    Ok but also why did Carlisle and Bella have way more on screen chemistry in the few scenes in which they interacted than Edward and Bella did through the entire series???

    • @samrobotsin
      @samrobotsin 2 года назад +187

      Because Carlisle is a handsome lesbian.

    • @annabeatrizzimmermann7708
      @annabeatrizzimmermann7708 2 года назад +50

      yes i noticed that too it's extremely distracting lmao

    • @jazwhoaskedforthis
      @jazwhoaskedforthis 2 года назад +13

      That’s funny considering the actors were like dating, right? Bella and Edward? And yet

    • @NosebleeddeGroselha
      @NosebleeddeGroselha 2 года назад +43

      @@jazwhoaskedforthis it was more of a marketing stunt, if I’m not mistaken they didn’t really get along lmao

    • @manderly33
      @manderly33 2 года назад +22

      It could be because Facinelli was a better, more experienced actor; because Stewart and Pattinson were together (sometimes that fucks with onscreen chemistry); because Stewart and Pattison had layers of character stuff they had to portray that Facinelli didn’t have to worry about. Who knows. Some actors are just naturally good at creating chemistry with everyone.

  • @DJtheBlack-RibbonedRose
    @DJtheBlack-RibbonedRose 2 года назад +695

    Okay, but CJ putting Edward's "As if you could outrun me, as if you could fight me off!" dialogue over Battinson punching a guy was too perfect. 😆

  • @draconiskittensweetie9765
    @draconiskittensweetie9765 2 года назад +669

    I once saw the take that Twilight is an incredible interesting and compelling franchise if you focus on every single aspect EXCEPT for the main love story and they were RIGHT and this essay is one more thing proving that point. God I love your videos, immaculatr energy fr fr

    • @abee948
      @abee948 2 года назад +26

      GOD that is so true

    • @kittykittybangbang9367
      @kittykittybangbang9367 2 года назад +19

      So true, I don't know why people still keep making Twilight out to be like it's the worst thing ever. Like come on there are far worser books and movies out there, and people still keep on beating a dead horse like Twilight (which ended years ago and is no longer relevant anymore.) SMH

    • @lithiumkid
      @lithiumkid 2 года назад +12

      @@kittykittybangbang9367 because of the weird and hilarious acting in the first movie (e.g. the fan scene), and the really abusive, nihilistic significant-age-gap romantic relationship between the leads that isn’t acknowledged as twisted & creepy as much as it should be

    • @miss_chelles1338
      @miss_chelles1338 2 года назад +2

      Bro! I was ALSO low-key feeling that way, despite never actually watching the whole series. 😂

    • @miss_chelles1338
      @miss_chelles1338 2 года назад

      @@kittykittybangbang9367 YES! THIS!

  • @scoobydont
    @scoobydont 2 года назад +140

    27:18 "If something I say upsets you, don't comment, just come kill me" is a whole ass mood

  • @imdrum6881
    @imdrum6881 2 года назад +345

    cj you've missed an important little detail on your final rant. benjamin a.k.a the rami malek vampire who's also the best character of the movie, had fire powers before turning. like as. as a human. he could just control fire somehow so technically and canonically human magic powers exist and bella had them but somehow when she turned she only got the lame ability to expand them. like come on rami malek started to control every element what is up with bella wasn't she like The Mary Sue Ever why can she just make her shield bigger what's up with that

    • @bluejay8422
      @bluejay8422 2 года назад +8

      I'm pretty sure it is stated somewhere in the books Renee and Charlie both have human abilities like Bella did. So, it makes sense why Bella also had a gift.

    • @zurichRevolts
      @zurichRevolts 2 года назад +18

      isn't alice's backstory that, before she was turned, she was in an insane asylum because she claimed to be clairvoyant? you don't even have to look at the the obscure tertiary characters.
      i think the thing with bella's parents is just that charlie's thoughts are harder to read, like edward just gets emotions and 'vibes' from him

    • @cicadeus7741
      @cicadeus7741 2 года назад +3

      A fic i read expanded on it really well. Charlie had the same brain shield, got vamp'd, and he was instead able to push his (now physical) shield into others, cracking them apart from the inside out. It was fucking badass.

    • @LylWren
      @LylWren 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@zurichRevoltsand Bella's mother has EXTREMELY loud thoughts. I bet if Renee became a vampire she'd either be able to project her thoughts to others consciously (Like Renesmee but with range like Edward), OR she might be able to overwrite other people's thoughts with her own (AKA Mind control).

  • @nikkifri1150
    @nikkifri1150 2 года назад +277

    Love how CJ always manages to throw in something about Miraculous Ladybug: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir 🐞 🐈‍⬛ in every essay 🤣

    • @Me-vn3gz
      @Me-vn3gz 2 года назад +3

      it’s that good

    • @Jotari
      @Jotari 2 года назад

      Eh, it's getting a bit over played by now.

    • @nikkifri1150
      @nikkifri1150 2 года назад +1

      @@Jotari I enjoy it, but to each their own 😎

    • @micahtiel
      @micahtiel Год назад

      timestamp pls? xD

    • @nikkifri1150
      @nikkifri1150 Год назад +1

      @@micahtiel 6:23 I rewatched to find it amongst this evergreen content.

  • @aspacelex
    @aspacelex 2 года назад +466

    Who coulda thought 10 years ago that today we'd be living through the "Stephenie Meyer is a more interesting author than JR Rowling" arc.

    • @islab2458
      @islab2458 2 года назад +56

      Out of all the great comments under this video, this one is the best and insanely underrated, holy shit what a great take.

    • @mli6976
      @mli6976 2 года назад +38

      You just blew my mind. This reality is wild...clearly, we need to restart the simulation.

    • @aspacelex
      @aspacelex 2 года назад +3

      @@islab2458 I agree with you.

    • @featherycoffee1401
      @featherycoffee1401 2 года назад +8

      JKR is more interesting, just in a... Different way

    • @LnRit02
      @LnRit02 2 года назад +11

      that statement sounds crazy at first but is...so true

  • @manderly33
    @manderly33 2 года назад +200

    The word that comes to mind with Jacob and Renault is “ward.” Which, if you haven’t read a dusty Victorian novel lately: a childless wealthy grown man adopts a child who has lost their parents, and if that child is a girl, suddenly, when she is of age, the man marries her, the girl he has been raising for many years.
    Not always; sometimes the kid just becomes their heir. But it happens often enough that it’s what I remember first about the word ward.
    🤢

    • @Dracosfire14
      @Dracosfire14 Год назад +13

      Huh, "ward" makes me think of Batman, and now I feel ill

    • @lkcullen1918
      @lkcullen1918 Год назад +18

      Judge Turpin from the play Sweeney Todd comes to mind

    • @dysmissme7343
      @dysmissme7343 Год назад +2

      Ewwww

    • @agnes8610
      @agnes8610 Год назад +2

      ​@@lkcullen1918yes, that was my first thought too. Creepy 😭

    • @b0xbrain
      @b0xbrain 10 месяцев назад +6

      @lkcullen1918 fun fact! Jamie Campbell Bower plays both Caius in Twilight and Anthony in Sweeney Todd! (Caius is the one that got the top of his head removed from his jaw)

  • @skyboxAngel
    @skyboxAngel 2 года назад +198

    the "do that to ME" bit has swiftly become part of my vocabulary, thanks cj

  • @top-notanalysis4942
    @top-notanalysis4942 2 года назад +352

    For all the god-tier one-liners and excessively deep analysis, tearing down the first poster shook me for reasons unknown even to myself!!!!

    • @wanderernix5392
      @wanderernix5392 2 года назад +8

      Same!

    • @emmadenton1826
      @emmadenton1826 2 года назад +12

      it's the 14 year old version of myself that lurks deep within my psyche

  • @luminatihd2895
    @luminatihd2895 2 года назад +129

    Watching cj's videos is the modern version of talking to dionisus

    • @sylvie_loves_frogs4951
      @sylvie_loves_frogs4951 2 года назад +36

      wrong it's more like meeting a crazed phophet of dionysus, like they're just spitting the hottest of takes and dionysus is just listening like "damn i didn't even tell him to do that lmao"

  • @bandrade7302
    @bandrade7302 2 года назад +364

    The ONLY WAY the "should I start calling you Dad" line is acceptable is if instead of inevitable "son-in-law" title, its actually a 'im now your son, and Resume's Brother" as in a big brother/guardian angel. Just a thought (and I always thought it was weird too. What was Smeyer thinking??)

    • @theresaross4742
      @theresaross4742 2 года назад +8

      It was funny, disgustingly funny😹

    • @itsschmid_8899
      @itsschmid_8899 2 года назад +12

      It looks like you calling her resume was autocorrect but it follows the bit from the vid of calling her anything except her name so I can’t tell if it’s intentional or not either way v amusing

    • @g.j.9515
      @g.j.9515 2 года назад +13

      thatd be so funny. guardian angel interpretation gives room for brotherly love and jacob doesnt have face to call bella mom because of their ages and history but edward is the perfect target. 100 year old boy definitely has some fatherly energy in him. jacob could exploit it if he played his cards right, acted immature in a specific way that would activate edwards dad energy. thats hilarious

    • @TabbyeLynne
      @TabbyeLynne 2 года назад +4

      In the books it's Edward calling Jacob son instead, meaning he accepts the grooming, father of the year right there 🤢

  • @Tomyotan
    @Tomyotan 2 года назад +626

    Having gotten diagnosed with BPD last year and then learning the idea of the "Favorite Person", I kept joking it was The Jacob Black Experience. It feels like an imprinting but with the actual reality of how terrible that concept is. It's not fun for both me and the target of my affection, the compulsions and separation anxiety are exhausting, and unfortunately it flips between platonic and romantic feelings often. I definitely feel like Twilight's imprinting could of been extremely interesting to explore in it's own series with more earnest thought put into the implications... And without all the suggestions of grooming.

    • @islab2458
      @islab2458 2 года назад +62

      I probably was Borderline as a teen and then into my early 20s, did what was essentially DBT training on my own without realizing it a little later. And yes, I deeply relate to this as well. I'm certain BPD was 95% of the reason I liked Twilight so much in general -- Bella and Edward's relationship reeks of "favorite people" dynamics, only it's mutual. Funny enough my marriage is similar in terms of intensity and "literally no one understands me to a painfully nuanced degree the way you do" shit. Twilight was my relationship blueprint throughout my entire adolescence up until I started realizing as a young adult how unrealistic it is for 99% of people.
      Turns out I'm on the spectrum and have ADHD, and part of both of those is the Rejection Sensitivity Disorder. It's manageable, much more so than BPD was. So while this sort of thing doesn't (and, admittedly, shouldn't) work for most, I'm riding on 5+ of bliss with my wife because we've both always been this way to some degree and we "get it." We're both obsessed with each other but not to a gross, detrimental degree where we can't have friends or the entire fucking world revolves around each other. All the same, it's more like Edward and Bella than I'd ever anticipated was possible, to be honest.
      TL;DR: I too relate to the "Imprinting roughly equals aspects of BPD" thing and so always felt bad for Jacob's character having been written into, ya know, a rather pedophilic corner. Pretty unfair.

    • @Tomyotan
      @Tomyotan 2 года назад +40

      @@islab2458 Quite honestly I was downplaying my opinions on FPs because I know it can be polarizing but my previous FP was a very good experience that I think mostly fell apart because it took so long for my diagnosis to come to light. To me I think the term should be a bit more accepted because it can be healthy, said previous FP wasn't romantically interested in me and I was able to accept that and function without them so long as our bond was fortified. Which definately makes me sad that they really did drop the ball on actually showing a platonic imprinting. I'm in a pretty gray situation with my current FP but just caring about them made me take better care of myself so I could support them rather than be dependant of them supporting me and now I've been on the longest streak of being consistent on my meds and put more effort into my business to distract obsessive thoughts. There's definately so many ways to play off the idea of "I'm bonded to you and need to be in your life" that really could've been more than just "and now I will become your perfect partner." (also yes, I definately see all 3 main characters representing a lot of aspects of bpd)

    • @sylvie_loves_frogs4951
      @sylvie_loves_frogs4951 2 года назад +43

      all i got from this was "jacob has bpd" and i've never seen a more correct opinion

    • @alim.9801
      @alim.9801 Год назад +5

      I hope you're doing ok, that sounds incredibly hard to make sense of and manage in a healthy way. Hope you're taking care of yourself 💜

    • @andthelastshallbefirsttoim2795
      @andthelastshallbefirsttoim2795 10 месяцев назад +1

      oh this explains a lot I'm fucked

  • @adjusttherain
    @adjusttherain 2 года назад +383

    cool essay. now tell us your thoughts on the fact that bella was perfectly written to already be part vampire but that story line just completely disappeared near the end. like, this ho can smell blood from across the room, she's unnaturally pale and she adapts to being a vampire realy quickly. stephenie had all the framework for a part vampire reveal but then just forgot about it? she even made it explicitly clear that half human/vampire hybrids are 100% possible in universe. it may also explain why both she and her dad already have the shield abilities while still human

    • @dsaybra
      @dsaybra 2 года назад +101

      LITERALLY, the opportunity for a vampire grandparent or great-grandparent was RIGHT THERE. like at least give us a reason as to why bella’s “special”

    • @cookycandy4
      @cookycandy4 2 года назад +43

      and in midnight sun its implied that charlie has the latent ability (but to a far less superior extent) which means it couldve been both charlie AND renee? vampire grandparentS

    • @art-is-awen8842
      @art-is-awen8842 2 года назад +12

      yeah I swear sm is just holding onto that for some eventual long term secret
      it's so easy to reveal jk style, or a book about Charlie a la Midnight Sun
      she CLEARLY planned it, it's all in the text

    • @Blueeyesthewarrior
      @Blueeyesthewarrior Год назад +21

      @@art-is-awen8842 The Twilight universe is so unintentionally interesting. Tell me more, Stephanie Meyer, I NEED TO KNOW!

  • @tomhills7320
    @tomhills7320 2 года назад +112

    "I can do that to cats when I'm high" might be the funniest thing you've ever written. Perfection.

  • @zekewalker1350
    @zekewalker1350 2 года назад +264

    I have yet to experience a movie that I could even slightly compare to the experience of watching Breaking Dawn Part 2 in theaters for the first time. The screaming, the crying, the cheering, the laughter. No one can take that away from me

    • @sedi2066
      @sedi2066 2 года назад +10

      Duuude! Everyone clapping as the credits rolled. Nothing like it!

    • @NosebleeddeGroselha
      @NosebleeddeGroselha 2 года назад +17

      I haven’t watched the movie in the theater, but instead I watched it on TV with my family. Imagine: four druncles, four gossipy aunts, my mom and dad scream-laughing, my grandparents *extremely* confused with everything, and finally me plus all my cousins in pure, untamable chaotic energy. All watching Breaking Down Pt. 2 together in an afternoon.
      It was easily the best day of my life.

    • @Cantrona
      @Cantrona 2 года назад +3

      I've only experienced that again with Spider-Man: No Way Home :,)

    • @heathenpotato
      @heathenpotato 2 года назад +5

      I remember being seated between two of my friends who were really into the series and who were team Jacob and team Edward exclusively, and both of them were having full on sobbing meltdowns over different characters dying and I was just kind of sitting there in the middle like "damn". It was definitely An Experience

    • @zekewalker1350
      @zekewalker1350 2 года назад +2

      @@heathenpotato my mom took me& my best friend, two twihard ass kids and she felt the same way. She was like “why are y’all like this”

  • @cuppycakesrawrable
    @cuppycakesrawrable 2 года назад +144

    I'm not gonna lie - when I force a guy who's interested in me to watch this series I do it explicitly to watch their reaction to the fact that end fight wasn't real.
    it's worth it every time

  • @victoriajankowski1197
    @victoriajankowski1197 2 года назад +310

    The fact that you managed more intellectual analysis of this text than either the author or the film makers of this work probably did while thirsting prety much the entire cast and screaming at the camera is absolutely spectacular!

  • @lucybarnes8969
    @lucybarnes8969 2 года назад +140

    The bit about Alice making you attracted to women with short hair for the rest of your life was too relatable and i feel called out

  • @yasielromero8236
    @yasielromero8236 2 года назад +79

    When CJ said "do that to me" to the clip of Lee Pace kicking someone in an alley I lost it 🤣🤣

    • @MutantAndProud
      @MutantAndProud 2 года назад +2

      My roommate, passing by as I watched that moment in the video, simply murmured "oh, mood" and kept walking

    • @new111naruto
      @new111naruto 2 года назад +1

      Also "I NEED HIM TO TOUCH ME!!!!" 😂😂

  • @feztheshep
    @feztheshep 2 года назад +443

    See, honestly I ACTUALLY think that there are a lot of concepts and worldbuilding in the series that are GENUINELY VERY INTERESTING like yeah that sparkling in the sun thing is goofy as all hell and probably shouldn't have been done but the idea that their flesh has basically turned into stone??? Fascinating and newly conceived vampire lore. The werewolf worldbuilding is pretty interesting as well. I actually also think imprinting is a very compelling and interesting feature of the world and the whole imprinting = romance makes it SO incredibly unfortunate and it could have been done so much better. It being not inevitably romantic would have made it 100x more interesting because we as a society focus WAY TOO MUCH on romantic relationships over platonic/familial relationships, and the idea that your primary relationship and dedication to a person is not romantic is a fascinating and little-explored concept.

    • @MistyWarden
      @MistyWarden 2 года назад +58

      Twilight lore has a lot in common with Harry Potter lore in that the implications and subtext is often WAY more interesting than the actual books (and every time the authors step in to “clarify” things they make it so much worse 🙈)

    • @ActuallyAnanya
      @ActuallyAnanya 2 года назад +20

      That and the fact that Stephanie Meyer is accidentally writes really compelling horror like obviously there's the whole birth scene, but people often forget the Volturi routinely luring humans in large groups into their spaces, humans that want to be vampires - i.e. the Volturi are breaking their OWN fundamental rule by exposing their existence to humans - just to break their promise and feed on them on their own turf. The Volturi are a cult in the truest definition and I wish Stephanie had given us the horror franchise based on them that we deserved instead.

    • @feztheshep
      @feztheshep 2 года назад +29

      @@ActuallyAnanya YES!! Also little details like the scared woman holding the rosary who Bella notices going into the chamber before getting eaten (I promise I'm not like a twilight superfan I just specifically remember that, it was an interesting little detail). I neglected to mention it before but the Volturi old world rules lore is actually really interesting too! I know "powerful old world rulers who are thousands of years old" isn't like super original but it's really cool? Not to mention the different regional covens and their diverse characteristics. For a "teen romance" series, there is so much potential for world building even if we only got to see a tiny bit of it.

    • @perrisavallon5170
      @perrisavallon5170 2 года назад +17

      If you've ever read The Host, that also had some fantastic ideas with pretty bad execution.
      Stephanie Meyer is really good at coming up with interesting lore, she just doesn't always know what to do with it.

    • @grouchygoat
      @grouchygoat 2 года назад +24

      I think imprinting should have been a grounding phenomenon for the Wolves. The Wolves are supposed to protect their people but considering that they are incredibly strong, deadly, and in theory have no explicit age limit it's a bit of a stretch to think that no wolves would stray from their "purpose". Even the Alpha command has its limits as seen in breaking dawn. And even if the other wolves are bound to obey the Alpha what's to stop him from becoming cruel and power-hungry or simply abandoning their home and living as a wolf forever indefinitely.
      Perhaps imprinting can be a fail-safe that keep wolves on their intended path and purpose. Imprinting ties them to their human form and instills a singular sense of loyalty, humility, and duty in a way no other person could. It also has the side effect of limiting their lifespan because no shifter can bare outliving their imprint and to keep the other wolves from suffering they will progressivly shift less and less so that when their imprint dies (naturally of old age) they are no long broadcasting to the pack.
      This is just how I would changed the basis of imprinting and I had a lot more typed out on how this could interact with the given plot to give depth and practicality but it was getting way to long so imma save the rest for good old Tumblr.

  • @hannahyamauchi839
    @hannahyamauchi839 2 года назад +134

    I almost burst into laughter and tears in the bus at "YOU NICKNAMED my DAUGHTER after the LOCH NESS MONSTER!?" even though I knew it would show up at some point

  • @GallifrAngel
    @GallifrAngel 2 года назад +227

    I stand by my assessment that imprinting COULD HAVE BEEN harmless and even a little interesting had Smeyer made even just one of the other imprinted pairs platonic. It wouldn't have been this automatic "uh oh, grooming alert" red flag (or at least not as much of one) if we had had an example of it staying as just like a friendly/brotherly protector role and not romantic.

    • @caitmonroe9349
      @caitmonroe9349 8 месяцев назад +10

      I vaguely remember there also being some line in there specifically about how imprinting was there to strengthen the wolves' bloodlines, and having the special sauce of eugenics on top of grooming is... not awesome

  • @anirudhg4194
    @anirudhg4194 2 года назад +88

    The speed of this video is both an ADHD dream and an easter egg nightmare you mad genius

  • @josephinerogers6409
    @josephinerogers6409 2 года назад +31

    the thing that always gets me about jane and alec in that they were 12 or 13 when they were turned. We know that the vampires are frozen at the maturity that they are when they were turned, so it makes sense to me that Jane would be foolish and angry and yet obedient, because she's fucking 13. Imagine being stuck forever at 13.

  • @vysharra
    @vysharra 2 года назад +178

    My attention is captured by the red wine and I am simultaneously made perfectly aware of my socially conditioned limitations lacking me into a self-constructed cage of “omg, what if it spills and stains” and freed of my mill-stone expectations by knowing I too could sit in the bisexual-euphoria pretzel and gesture my thoughts with a half-full glass of red wine if I was brave enough.

    • @hakudoushinumbernine
      @hakudoushinumbernine 2 года назад +19

      I feel like there should have been a cut away wheres mopping it up when he does spill the wine before cutting back in the essay. I had the same thoughts

    • @wanderernix5392
      @wanderernix5392 2 года назад +10

      Spill your wine, just a little, as a treat.

    • @jazwhoaskedforthis
      @jazwhoaskedforthis 2 года назад +3

      It did around the 20 minute mark I think it was, lol

    • @disasterjones5798
      @disasterjones5798 2 года назад +1

      spilling on hard surface ain't so bad but carpet spills are my enemy, i never get it fully dry and then i step in it later and my sock gets wet :c

    • @StraveTube
      @StraveTube 2 года назад +4

      @@hakudoushinumbernine Mopping it up would break my internal illusion that CJ is constantly perched over a kiddy pool full of wine

  • @amhk5918
    @amhk5918 2 года назад +88

    The uncontrollable thirst and accurate baby names got me so close to laughing in public. In public. Thanks for bringing some joy in my life and tickling some hidden part of my brain with your analysis.

  • @xp8969
    @xp8969 2 года назад +576

    Twilight is the dumbest thing ever yet (just like his analysis of Victorious) CJ the X is so fucking brilliant and entertaining that I couldn't help but watch and enjoy every minute of this, best channel on RUclips

    • @therilyncobrin2372
      @therilyncobrin2372 2 года назад +2

      not to be that person, but *they

    • @ActuallyAnanya
      @ActuallyAnanya 2 года назад +10

      @@therilyncobrin2372 they use both he/him and they/them pronouns

    • @therilyncobrin2372
      @therilyncobrin2372 2 года назад +4

      @@ActuallyAnanya ah. I have learned something new. thanks!

  • @iwillworkharder
    @iwillworkharder 2 года назад +112

    I always understood imprinting to be a not-well-thought-out fantasy from the Ra's al ghul side; I remember as a kid imagining that I would turn 18 and have a perfect soul mate waiting for me to have a perfectly happy relationship with, so I understand where the fantasy of "I'll be there and be perfect for her" comes from, but the problem is that unless that person appears from thin air, there's no way for that to happen without undermining someone's autonomy and empowered consent, which is why it's a fine thing to doodle into your composition book but not to write as a piece of elaborate world building.

    • @ilexdiapason
      @ilexdiapason 2 года назад +2

      i mean it could work out if you and the soulmate were, yknow, similar ages

  • @julianikolich8400
    @julianikolich8400 2 года назад +80

    Love the utter commitment this series has to making everyone outside of Bella so Compelling. Lee Pace vampire supremecy

  • @Alonepistachio
    @Alonepistachio 2 года назад +28

    I remember being even more creeped out by the book’s explanation of the baby growing up faster, implying they will have a relationship before she’s even 10 years old. I upset me even as a kid reading it. I just makes me think of all those pedos saying “oh she looked 18“ or “she was very mature for a 10 year old “ 🤢

    • @Laurabeck329
      @Laurabeck329 8 месяцев назад

      It's like reverse lolicon. Yes I feel disgusted for writingt this sentence and I will crawl into my hole of shame

  • @jennadabomb
    @jennadabomb Год назад +6

    "Basically Jane is white" made me laugh out loud😂

  • @panimustache
    @panimustache 2 года назад +98

    THE EDITING MAKES ME SCREEEECH
    Every time I heard “the boys are back in town” my soul left my body.
    Thank you for finally excusing my love for this film with concise words and arguments 😂

  • @user_.b
    @user_.b 2 года назад +80

    I have been rereading the series and I have to admit, Stephanie Meyer is an objectively good writer in the sense of worldbuilding and chekovs gun and just generally using the things she introduces, even small things that shouldnt matter get brought back up. Ie in book one, some nobody character goes missing, Charlie is looking for them, book 3, that kid got turned into a vampire and is with Victoria. Her politics are awful, she's mormon as hell, the relationship dynamics are not good, but its actually a series with a lot of care put into it and it does a very, very good job of having pieces put together over time. Meyer is entirely capable of being an amazing mystery author actually.

  • @MegamiHoshii
    @MegamiHoshii 2 года назад +187

    The whole imprinting thing comes from the author being Mormon. In Mormonism they believe in predetermination for spouses like soul mates. And there are often marriages where the wife is scary young and the man is much older.... but there were meant to be apparently so it's ok

    • @kaamn1829
      @kaamn1829 2 года назад +18

      wtf no, meyer's just weird for that shit. i've lived and grown up in the heart of mormon spaces wherever we've moved across the US cause my family's just uber religious and that has NEVER been a common belief. mormonism is strictly against predetermination, even as the whole capital g God knows and has accounted for everything thing is still super present, as agency and making your own choices is the key thing. there's even the whole thing where God will 'let' bad things happen to make sure that the person is digging their own grave and there's no deniability. like some people do believe in soulmates obv, but some people everywhere in every religion and non religion do. maybe you're thinking of like those fundamentalists or smth?? all the mormon mommies I know think the Jacob--baby thing is fucking nasty and bizarre. my own uber religious mother who legit believes in some forms of witchcraft thought that shit was bonkers.

    • @shannahbaudelaire
      @shannahbaudelaire 2 года назад +14

      Lol. Only in Saturday's Warrior, which is Mormon fanfiction, not Mormon doctrine.

    • @leahscontemporary
      @leahscontemporary 2 года назад +4

      @@kaamn1829 what an essay

    • @kaamn1829
      @kaamn1829 2 года назад +2

      @@leahscontemporary 🤷‍♀

    • @goldenlokosian3740
      @goldenlokosian3740 2 года назад

      @@kaamn1829 You sure it's not a belief? I thought that was one of the secret things that gets revealed in temple ceremonies. I mean, members of the LDS church are big into agency but predetermined roles are an inherent part of the doctrine with certain people having been foreordained to specific callings and offices. I wouldn't be surprised if that were a belief that isn't talked about with folks who aren't members. (Source: I'm an Ex-Mo who was raised Mormon in Utah, and was pretty deep in the faith before I left.)
      That being said, I haven't met any Mormons where I live who were chill with Jacob imprinting on a baby.

  • @PricklyAlpaca
    @PricklyAlpaca 2 года назад +24

    halfway through watching the spiderman video it disappeared and I am SAD

  • @soy6505
    @soy6505 2 года назад +83

    Marcus is sad and wants to be dead because of the fact that his "mate" was killed by Aro because they were gonna run away together, and Aro didn't want Marcus to leave the Volturi because Marcus' power was too useful to lose. After Aro killed Marcus' mate (who was actually Aro's sister), Marcus was uber sad and depressed, but he stays in the Volturi because another Volturi member's (forgot her name but she was part of Victoria's coven for a while) power is the ability to create strong social ties with other people, so Marcus has an artificial social tie with the Volturi, and she he was excited to die because he gets to see his mate

    • @panicatthefallout7710
      @panicatthefallout7710 2 года назад +20

      Why is every other story way more interesting than Edward and Bella's?

    • @soy6505
      @soy6505 2 года назад +6

      @@panicatthefallout7710 truer words have never been spoken: read the illustrated guide 🤪

    • @mophead_xu
      @mophead_xu 2 года назад +2

      wait what was marcus' power??

  • @imani0nline
    @imani0nline 2 года назад +58

    The best thing that twilight did was not the god awful fanfiction it inspired like fifty shades of grey but instead the scene of wolves barking English that is for the history books.

  • @geosustento8894
    @geosustento8894 2 года назад +99

    Correction: Aro's power isn't mind reading. It's psychometry. He can see the history of a person when he touches them. Meaning, he wasn't really reading Edward's mind in New Moon, nor was he doing so in Breaking Dawn. Since he's simply seeing everything Alice had seen from when he last touched him (probably in New Moon as well) up until that moment. It's simply a cinematic choice to only show the vision at that point.

    • @nguyenkhanhhailinh1721
      @nguyenkhanhhailinh1721 2 года назад +6

      Doesn't Edward say that Aro could read every thought he's ever had ?

    • @geosustento8894
      @geosustento8894 2 года назад +10

      @@nguyenkhanhhailinh1721 yes. A person's thoughts is part of their history

    • @swatisaini6447
      @swatisaini6447 Год назад +5

      @@geosustento8894 do u think in new moon aro managed to see Alice's human memories which she has forgotten due to shock therapy?

    • @dysmissme7343
      @dysmissme7343 Год назад +3

      @@swatisaini6447
      I personally doubt it

  • @Lanoira13
    @Lanoira13 2 года назад +61

    Hearing about the situation, I thought the fact that imprinting was explicitly involuntary on the part of the person affected, and the fact that Jacob himself explicitly talked about imprinting as if it was nightmarish and disturbing and non-consensual and dreadful to him, actually made Jacob and Reeses Puff's bond extremely interesting and tragic... However that reading is kinda betrayed by Jacob romanticizing and wanting to imprint on Bella at the same time or after talking about it, and later hoping to imprint on someone like it's a cheat to get over Bella without therapy. Also imprinting mind controlling him into bonding to someone shouldn't make him think it's okay or appropriate to sexualize or romanticize someone he's aiding in the development of before she could ever even possibly make that choice herself. So Steph's hella gross for that shit.

  • @michaelmayo2365
    @michaelmayo2365 2 года назад +209

    This video confirmed something I already loosely thought. The worst part of the story was the main three characters. There was a ton of cool, badass intrigue laden things in this story; Bella, Jacob, and Edward are not it.

    • @doll_dress_swap12
      @doll_dress_swap12 2 года назад +22

      Exactly. Stephanie Myer has a ton of amazingly creative ideas in her writing, but doesn’t seem to know how to explore them properly. I’d love to see her write something in horror or science fiction where she just unleashes her world building instead of making her bland romances the focus.

    • @michaelmayo2365
      @michaelmayo2365 2 года назад +2

      @@doll_dress_swap12 I am reminded of the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series. They start out as murder mysteries with a supernatural twist and a minor romantic subplot. As the series progresses and character relationships grow the romance take on a bigger role. That goes on until eventually they are an erotic supernatural romance series with a "whodunnit' subplot per book. That's not inherently a bad thing but felt like a rug pull for someone who was reading for different reasons. Honestly I'm not sure my point other than a series that built me up and left me disappointed.

    • @GlacialScion
      @GlacialScion 2 года назад +2

      The worst part for me is that they all manage to be interesting and avoid being insufferable when interacting with other characters in other contexts. It's literally just the insistence on a love triangle that ruins the series. Do something simple like make Jacob the gay best friend from the outset and the whole series potentially jumps in quality.

  • @Arcdaemus
    @Arcdaemus 2 года назад +61

    Me, who has never watched Twilight: "So he imprinted on a baby. The kid thinks he their guardian now. Big deal.
    CJ: *further explains imprinting in the Twilight Universe*
    Me: "O...Ooh!! Yeah....That's problematic."

    • @Robstafarian
      @Robstafarian 2 года назад +9

      Yeah, coming into this blind was probably a better experience than reading or watching Twilight.

  • @thepixalwizard873
    @thepixalwizard873 2 года назад +24

    This man is doing the impossible, making Twilight seem like peak

  • @LainCelestine
    @LainCelestine 2 года назад +41

    Okay so when I first read Breaking Dawn Jacob’s imprinting pissed me off so bad I stormed out of my room in the middle of the night (yes I bought the book at a midnight release) and flung the book into the front yard at my house. I finished the book a week later infuriated and from that point went from being a fan to an avid hater of Twilight. I blocked out the line “Goodbye Jacob my brother…my son“ but hearing it again has caused me serious psychic damage I just shrieked, it’s 3 am and I am in pain.

  • @kalystaalalala
    @kalystaalalala 2 года назад +50

    You ripping the twilight poster in half and then just continuing on is just the epitome of the energy I come here for
    Also I will never get tired of hearing Renaissance referred to as different R words/names

  • @hallenelson2839
    @hallenelson2839 2 года назад +127

    Response to end credits rant: Alice is a different character who showed her superpowers prior to her change, as she was sent to the asylum as a human for having visions.
    Also, I think the idea behind Bella’s shield is that she’s immune to mental attacks, not all superpowers. As an empath, Jasper just makes people feel bad, not actually think bad thoughts. Alice also sees the real world results of Bella’s decisions, not anything that goes on within her mind.
    *sigh* I know too much about this.
    Great video CJ!

    • @Me-vn3gz
      @Me-vn3gz 2 года назад +1

      +

    • @mquintal02
      @mquintal02 2 года назад +13

      Also!! Eleazar’s whole job was to go roaming around looking for the special latent ability humans and bring them to be voluti’d (Jane and Alec were already being prepped to be burned at the stake) so there is SOME precedent to there being extra special humans.
      (I’ve had like a decade of twilight musing building up like mould in my brain as someone who grew up reading them, knows they’re dumb but just thinks that there are inadvertently really interesting world building kernels that a more adept author could have explored further??? This vid and comment section is v cleansing hahahahaha)

    • @mquintal02
      @mquintal02 2 года назад +3

      @Lisa Müller nah the rant is great- I love being really specific with twilight lore because it’s… messy.
      I think the in universe explanation is that physical reality gifts will affect Bella but purely mental stuff won’t so janes powers are a ~brain illusion~ and don’t actually have a physical effect on you hence no Bella action. Jasper is the weird bit I guess because we have to, based on canon, assume that he’s literally altering the nervous system (not an illusion, I guess if it’s not brain based is he accessing this shit through the SPINE?!) because he can sense but also alter emotion??? I guess he literally alters the physical reactions to emotions which synthesises the real feeling (heart rate, hormones) which is also mad body horror shit

    • @grouchygoat
      @grouchygoat 2 года назад +7

      @Lisa Müller This is going to be my hypothesis as for why Alice and Jasper are different in their abilities as opposed to the gifts bella can block based off the information give in the books and movies. This also presumes that there is a logical explanation as if these stories exist in a rational universe and not the result of an author not being able to explain there own world building which is probably the real case but wheres the fun in that.
      1. Alice
      While yes the intentions of others to effect Alice's visions of the future I don't necessarily think that means she is actually reading their mind in a sense. If I intent to kick a ball at someone's face and then do so, a reasonable observer might think that I was angry or was being cruel and wanted to cause pain. But they aren't reading my mind they are inferring. Hell they might not even know exactly why I did it but they saw it. Alice is just able to see that action in advance. Obviously my intentions influenced the action and allowed it to happen but the observer wasnt dialed into my brainwaves.
      The more concrete evidence that Alice isn't accessing peoples' minds to discern the future is the fact she can predict weather phenomenon and other events of that nature / physics. Like with Tyler's van in the first book. While she only had the vision maybe a couple of seconds before it happened I highly doubt that Tyler intended for it to happen. Or else Edward would have known before she did. Alice's abilities feel more metaphysical because they aren't just impacted by people's thoughts and personality. People(humans, vampires) seem to be the messiest part of the equation which also includes the physical surrounding and meteorological events.
      2. Jasper: Now Stephanie did mention that Jasper's gift works physically and not mentally but that can be a bit confusing to draw a line on. I think that mental gifts too work probably effect the brain, spinal cord, and other associated nerves. Some gifts like Kate and Alec seem to travel up to the brain via the nervous system while Jane radiates down. Either way based off of what Bella can block a mental gift can effect the brain and nervous system. These gifts seem to be inescapable to vampires and humans alike other then bella which makes sense on a logical level with what we know about real life conditions that effect these areas.
      Jaspers gift seems a little different though. While it's strong and useful it's also beatable by the average human/vampire/probably shifter. Unless I'm remembering incorrectly the Cullens and Bella are able to eventually tell when Jasper is using his gift to perhaps calm a person down and this can piss them off enough to push through the effects. He simply influences them but the emotional control isn't total like Janes pain. Even enough determination with out previous knowledge a person can resist the gift. In midnight sun it's revealed that Jasper used his gift in the baseball scene so that when the nomads looked at him and Emmett they felt scared but when they looked at bella they felt bored. The facade broke though once James smelled bella.
      I think that Jasper manually makes people feel certain emotion by effecting heart rate, blood pressure, respiration, and the gastrointestinal system (think pit in your stomach anxiety). He also might be able to effect the endocrine glands; to a certain extent. How exactly, I don't know maybe pheromones or something.
      Either way as fun as this thought experiment can be I know in my heart that S.M.s explanation was probably an after thought to explain the difference because it never occurred to her that people might question it, but I think my explanation makes sense with the contextual evidence so I'm happy
      Oh ps. I hope you don't take this as an argumentive twihard rant. I genuinely think the mechanics to how vampires work is fascinating to discuss considering how little thought Stephanie put into it. Me and a friend once talked for two hours about the logistics for the Denali woman's sexual exploits with human men (vamps are rock hard and cold remember) and how the position of the body during transformation effect how the breast are positioned (frozen in time and rock hard remember.) Because clearly Stephanie never truly considered how the transformation would effect an AFAB body.

  • @masterumperson
    @masterumperson 2 года назад +15

    So I think Bella's shield is her ability to shut herself off from people. She does everything for other people and doesn't complain at their expense and hides her emotions which resulted in a shield.

  • @kat9100
    @kat9100 2 года назад +16

    "breaking dawn part 2 is a lot like dune, except it isn't" genuinely had me DYING

  • @marys4038
    @marys4038 2 года назад +30

    The way that CJ describes how he feels about Twilight at the beginning is exactly how I feel about Supernatural

  • @carleyray6958
    @carleyray6958 2 года назад +50

    I have always said that the last fight scene was a stroke of genius and nobody ever understood! Amazing work as usual.

  • @thegoodgodabove8264
    @thegoodgodabove8264 2 года назад +49

    I wonder if CJ the X had internal conflict about tearing the poster because while it was cinematically gratifying it also takes away from any easily filmed remakes since the frames would lose their continuity

  • @ruecumbers
    @ruecumbers 2 года назад +36

    I was really hoping you would address the issue of Alice sharing the fight vision with Aro when it's been previously ruled that she's not able to see anything in her visions that include the wolves.

    • @LylWren
      @LylWren 6 месяцев назад

      the writing staff weighed the pros and cons of creating an intentional plot hole and decided to go with the cool fight scene over continuity.

  • @Oli.V
    @Oli.V 2 года назад +14

    I recently finally convinced a group of people I have been friends with for near a decade to watch these movies. One of them very early on started cracking a lot of jokes and making fun of them, which is the proper thing to do, but around the last two movies she kind of died down and after we finished them all I turned to ask her what she thought and the first words out of her mouth were “why didn’t you tell me the last one was good?!”

  • @charlirogers6235
    @charlirogers6235 2 года назад +33

    I am 40 years old, I love Twilight, this video made my soul sing. I was is a dark place man, and you made me f*ckin joyous. You are so talented, thank you for what you did tonight. I spent all day teaching troubled kids and I was...drained. You made me feel like a giddy happy laughing 20 year old. Your art is pure joy!!!

  • @kakyoin7761
    @kakyoin7761 2 года назад +46

    CJs constant simping is so entertaining but also SAME

  • @offbeatkiki
    @offbeatkiki 2 года назад +65

    breaking dawn has some issues but i fucking LOVE the reveal that all of that combat, destruction and death was all a vision; it's so shocking after being emotionally destroyed seeing many beloved characters die and when i watched it again last summer i honestly thought it was kind of subversive and a great way to add some drama to the end of the series. thanks for talking about this, it's fun to see people finally discussing twilight and not just indiscriminately shitting all over it

    • @jacquelynmiller4714
      @jacquelynmiller4714 2 года назад +1

      Agreed, the fight had a big emotional impact and I imagine the ending would be pretty boring without it.

  • @chrystianchapman7938
    @chrystianchapman7938 Год назад +1

    its so refreshing seeing someone whos actually read the books instead of being like “this doesnt make sense” even though it was explained in the books or even the movies and they just didnt pay attention like actual commentary on the books and movies is kinda rare compared to just ppl bagging on them for everything

  • @joli1320
    @joli1320 2 года назад +23

    I remember freaking tf OUT in theaters when they started fighting, just gasping loudly and muttering eith my sisters "this didn't happen in the books!" Over and over and sighing in heavy relief when it turned out to be a vision. Even had a moment with a total stranger sitting next to us who was going on the same journey reaching out and laughing with each other in relief that it wasn't real 😂 I always didn't like it cuz it felt so unnecessary to the plot, especially since Alice says "it doesn't matter what I show you, you're not gonna change your mind" but then he changes his mind anyways so it felt so inconsistent. But I loved the interpretation you had, all the ways it worked with how it played out, it definitely adds more to the meaning when you think about it like that.
    Also I hate the imprinting thing more than anything because of how important it was to the plot in order to keep Bella and Renesme alive. It really didn't have to become a romantic thing at all, if it had literally just been "I will be your protector and guardian as long as I live" like a godparent type thing, it would've been SO MUCH better but NO. Stephanie Meyer, WHY?!

  • @TheRenaSystem
    @TheRenaSystem 2 года назад +30

    The postcredits gag this time was one of the best yet, phenomenal essay as usual!

  • @phantomstea530
    @phantomstea530 2 года назад +32

    Never watched a single twilight movie but I know I'm about to have a grand ol time watching a stranger on the internet rant about it for 30 minutes

  • @AspienPadda
    @AspienPadda 2 года назад +76

    I already know this wasn't my last viewing of this. I giggled over so many things.
    Especially: "is this the hill you want to die on"
    Renesmee name renaming
    The boys are back in town
    The reasonable horniness
    Spilling the wine more than once
    The general video editing
    I HAD TO PAUSE THE VIDEO AT 6:57 SO AS TO QUIT WHEEZING THEN WATCHED IT 4 MORE TIMES. How do cats!?
    Chicken backstory
    Everytime these 2 touch it's just brrreee
    Carlisle fancam
    "You just have to say you're fine"
    Post coital face saved for later
    12:47 props to Rob Patt
    All Jane's aahhgg
    Dbz punch
    Time knife!
    Fuk the fortune teller
    Hammering on the "should I call u dad"
    Flashing the original Renesmee pic
    Ladies raise your hands
    Chris Hanson
    Abortion to the next level
    Don't comment come kill me
    Jacob will naht
    Part part another part
    Except this fukin joke
    Unconvincing mother
    Be good art
    I need him to touch me
    Happy birthday to CJ mom!!!

    • @MightyShakaZulu
      @MightyShakaZulu 2 года назад +8

      The "I need him to touch me!" part is what completely broke me 😂! I was laughing for five straight minutes.

    • @blarg2429
      @blarg2429 2 года назад +2

      @@MightyShakaZulu Was there really anything straight about those minutes of laughter, though? Think about it.

    • @paigeh1670
      @paigeh1670 2 года назад +4

      I also had to rewatch the cats part several times and rewind regularly to catch what I'd missed while laughing. CJ is a genius.

  • @AA-zt3bp
    @AA-zt3bp 2 года назад +13

    The speed of which this video essay is given made my ADHD brain happier than any video essay before. Cheers! I love it.

  • @corduroy799
    @corduroy799 2 года назад +20

    I've had such a long and complicated relationship with this series. At first I was blindly obsessed and thought it was the best love story ever (cut me some slack, I was a kid). Then my mom was like "uhh this relationship isn't healthy" and the internet interneted and I spiraled into blind Twilight hate. More recently I've regained my love and come to the realization that A. Twilight is a comedy and B. It's a bonding experience. Every time I watch it with a new person we come up with inside jokes and laugh at something different. Twilight is iconic and I will probably be rewatching it every year 💕
    Edit: this is not to say it's a good series by any means, I'm well aware of the problems with it. It's just ... an experience

  • @DJtheBlack-RibbonedRose
    @DJtheBlack-RibbonedRose 2 года назад +232

    Trust me, you don't *truly* get how funny Aro's scene about condemning the potential threat of Renesmee is unless you've seen the Underworld series and know the story of how the werewolf (aka Lycan) leader Lucian, also portrayed by Michael Sheen, purposefully went out of his way to create a vampire/werewolf hybrid after the one he made naturally with his illegal vampire lover Sonja was destroyed in the womb by that franchise's own tyrannical vampire council headed by Sonja's father Viktor, who goes on a similar rant to Aro regarding its threat to vampire society. Which, for the record, was a position Viktor had usurped from Markus, the film lore's *true* first vampire, who held some initial compassion for the werewolves because his twin brother was one. So technically, unlike Aro, it hadn't even been Viktor's choice to make but he made it anyway. 😅
    Edit: Since this comment, I've been allowed to write an essay for my online Contemporary American Literature class comparing the uses of Shakespeare's *Romeo & Juliet* as a plot device in the 2009 installments *The Twilight Saga: New Moon* and *Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.* 🥰🦇🐺

    • @crackdeathgrips
      @crackdeathgrips 2 года назад +17

      This...... confuses me

    • @DJtheBlack-RibbonedRose
      @DJtheBlack-RibbonedRose 2 года назад +24

      @@crackdeathgrips Lol I thought it might, because the lore of the Underworld series is widespread and complex, even more so than Twilight's, but the point I'm trying to make is the irony of Michael Sheen playing a werewolf who wanted a hybrid and a vampire who didn't. In the SAME YEAR no less. (He began playing Aro in 2009 and that's *also* when he returned to play Lucian for the Underworld series, which originally started back in 2003).

    • @diana_brownie
      @diana_brownie 2 года назад +3

      This comment make my day better, have a flower 🌹

    • @annathenerd5345
      @annathenerd5345 2 года назад +7

      i don’t know how to read what does this say

    • @hannabelphaege3774
      @hannabelphaege3774 2 года назад +10

      No paragraph breaks was the correct decision

  • @natashaelina
    @natashaelina 2 года назад +28

    CJ’s untouchable brilliance analyzing the series that helped shape my young mind?? YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU GOD

  • @TJGibson0
    @TJGibson0 2 года назад +22

    I've never seen a single Twilight movie, but I can't wait to watch this video 5 times in the next 2 days

  • @courtneyvoehl8481
    @courtneyvoehl8481 2 года назад +3

    I screamed every time CJ thirsted over Lee Pace because me too

  • @lilli9364
    @lilli9364 2 года назад +17

    CJ is the only creator I will rewatch on .75 speed and personally I love that for us, like i need the manic energy of full speed to get the complete immersive experience but then i gotta slow it down to really chew on some ideas u kno

  • @soph13s
    @soph13s 2 года назад +21

    absolutely incredible job communicating the insanity of this film. i really wasn't expecting to hear SF9 in this video but go off

  • @imani0nline
    @imani0nline 2 года назад +21

    I genuinely thought the video was in two parts and I just missed one… not everyone gets brain cells, life’s not fair.

    • @corristired9791
      @corristired9791 2 года назад +1

      I too did not receive said brain cells

  • @hakudoushinumbernine
    @hakudoushinumbernine 2 года назад +31

    I love this person
    They breakdown ALOT in under 10 minutes that pretty much encapsulates my love for the franchise.
    Its all the stuff happening in the background that people who go in WANTING to hate it and not take it seriously will pick up.
    Eta: "call me old fashion, but i dont think you should befriend or take responsibility for children that you suspect, on any level, you might want as a lover one day" is the WHOLE REASON I DONT LIKE SESSHOMARU AND RIN

    • @kurasuta3715
      @kurasuta3715 2 года назад +1

      I refuse to see the sequel as canon, Rin is Sesshomaru's adoptive daughter, end of story

    • @dumbasskong6561
      @dumbasskong6561 2 года назад

      I dropped that show like a hot potato at that reveal. Sesshomaru is her dad, end of story.

  • @bridgetofold5645
    @bridgetofold5645 2 года назад +8

    It's rare for me to relate to a younger generational person. But the speed of your thoughts is something I have lived with all my life. Loved this.

  • @CertifiedRookAppreciator
    @CertifiedRookAppreciator 2 года назад +34

    Every single time cj uploads he forcefully removes all my brain wires and plugs them into all the wrong spots to make me see beyond reality and i love that fried feeling as my brain fights god himself and is wrenched back into the comforting embrace of physics and step by step baby logic
    Also he makes words word easier for my word maker and that's cool

  • @Asummersdaydreamer14
    @Asummersdaydreamer14 2 года назад +14

    10 minutes in and I already have some Alice and Carlisle appreciation. As it should be.
    Now I just need a Charlie being a “just doing his best” good dad shoutout because the dads, Alice, and vampire baseball are the best things this series gave us.

  • @Aranock
    @Aranock 2 года назад +127

    I feel this first minute and a bit in my soul. I don't like them, they are a mess, I am endlessly compelled by them and I read all the books when they came out.

    • @Aranock
      @Aranock 2 года назад +15

      Also Alice and Bella should have ended up together.

    • @gonzalo4722
      @gonzalo4722 2 года назад +3

      @@Aranock Mood

  • @phantasieandmirare
    @phantasieandmirare 2 года назад +13

    Every single joke about Renesmee's name has sent me into a laugh-coughing fit
    Edit: This is my favorite video essay on content and humor and I've watched it like six times in the year and a half it's been out