Does Race Matter in Adoptions?
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- Опубликовано: 2 июн 2024
- Minnesota has the largest number of Korean adoptees in the United States, and many of them grew up with white parents in white households. Imaeyen Ibanga travels to the Twin Cities to uncover what it’s like for this group during a nationwide uptick in anti-Asian hate and violence.
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As a Minnesotan , we welcome everyone and accept them for what they are
Why don't you guys do a video on where the idea of the collective culture a white people came from ? Because up until maybe three hundred years ago there were no such thing as white people. This cultural Consciousness didn't exist because all of these Europeans had cultural hatred towards each other for historical issues but somehow 300 years ago all of this s*** was dropped so they can hate people of color. I really want to know how this happened because it makes no sense to me ? where did this cultural consciousness of white people come from ?
@@cartier2312 I very much enjoyed my time in Minnesota and all the people I met, though APRIL WAS TOO COLD.
Please make a video about abortion access after the recent supreme court leak. This is a travesty for women and human rights. I cannot believe you did not say anything about this to your audience!!!
@@cartier2312 you mean there is no racism in Minnesota
The Asian adoptees in Minnesota are fortunate to have other adoptees to talk to. I wish I had that. I was the first international adoptee in WV back in the 60s. It’s been a rough journey.
Hello. Thank you for sharing and watching. I'm glad this was able to resonate with you and I'm wondering about your experience as an international adoptee in West Virginia in the 1960s.
@@iiwrites I was around 3 1/2 when I came to the US. I came from Holt orphanage in Seoul Korea.
@@amy3536 Have you ever been able to return for a visit? Have you wanted to do so?
@@iiwrites I found my biological family a couple years ago. Which has been an emotional journey in itself. I had planned to go to Korea then the pandemic hit. I plan on going sometime this year.
As a Filipino adoptee in MN that has participated in various discourse with other adult adoptees around subjects of adoption, tbh, we generally never really talked about our experiences to each other growing up, which is rooted in survival of trauma and also historical practices of adoptive families. Like, we knew who the adoptees were, but other than sharing where and when we were adopted, we felt compelled to be silent about it. You know what I mean? But! This is mostly speaking for people born in the early 2000s and earlier. So I'm curious if it's different nowadays.
I am Asian American but not an adoptee. I found this video fascinating. I once attended a school where I was the only non adopted Asian. None of them had any connection to Asian culture...I used to be sort of annoyed they would insult their own heritage but now I understand where they were coming from at the time.
I enjoyed this video a lot. Please don't mind the hateful comments. I think this video touched a sensitive spot for some people, and perhaps an uncomfortable question society doesn't want to answer.
Curious because I'm an asian adoptee who, growing up, no asian non-adoptees would talk to me and some even bullied me - what is the reason you felt annoyed and insulted? I never understood it but in the back of my mind I always thought it had something to do with me being adopted. I wasn't able to make asian friends until my 30's.
What’s the question society doesn’t want to answer?
@@kikip3057 I believe she said she was annoyed BECAUSE they would insult u guys heritage. Prob just cracking jokes on Asians. She prob just felt like she was in the twilight zone. But she actually didn't say that she was insulted.
Non adopted Asian here as well and living in Minnesota. Same thing where I was the only non Asian adoptee in the school lol, people would ask me if I was all the time. The Asian adoptee kids didn’t seem any different from my sister and I at all though and we even chatted often. although I guess our family isn’t traditional in any sense at all and none of us siblings actually speak another language besides English.
I'm also non-adopted and Korean in Minnesota. I want to start by saying that I don't compare my struggles to those of Korean adoptees or any transracial adoptees, because I believe we all struggle in different ways. I understand intersectionality is important.
I grew up in a small church community of Korean immigrant families in Minneapolis. I met some Korean adoptees at different stages of my life. The only tension I remember is that all of the Korean adoptees I knew were wealthy while my family was not, so I often felt jealous because wealth often aligned with popularity in school. But we didn't fight or anything, just stayed in different circles, and I didn't think about it too much. (Outside of church, I was friends with mostly Southeast Asian, South Asian and poorer kids. I remember one Korean-American non-adoptee friend in school and we were somewhat friends but he moved; and then I knew one Korean exchange student for a year, but we didn't interact much. I knew some Korean adoptees from other schools in richer neighborhoods through mutual friends but they just hung with other rich kids.) In my eyes, all the adoptees were Korean, and I don't remember treating them differently. My experience with Korean culture was actually filled with violent abuse, alcoholism and racism so I actually hated my culture during my adolescence. I assimilated into white US culture a lot and refused to learn the Korean language despite the fact my parents spoke it often. It was only when I became an adult that I started to heal and reconnect with Korean culture. Of course, I was lucky that my relatives helped us escape violence because I don't think I would have survived otherwise.
I admire the tenacity that a lot of Korean adoptees have when it comes to reconnecting. So much of the Korean community in the Twin Cities here in Minnesota seems to be built by Korean adoptees, so I am grateful and in awe. Some of my biggest inspirations are Korean adoptees. That being said, I do notice how transracial Korean adoptees born into mostly white families tend to have a lot of wealth and resources into adulthood, which gives them opportunities to travel to Korea and afford many different types of classes and events to reconnect with the culture. I know a lot of Korean-American non-adoptees in the US are pretty wealthy too, but my family was not. I met other Korean non-adoptees with the same struggles. So the adoptee community has always felt more and more distant from my world.
I hope to find community soon with other Koreans. I have some Korean friends in other parts of the country, but not in Minnesota anymore. There was a lot of pain that dissolved the Korean immigrant community I grew up with. I even lived in a Korean town in New Jersey for a while, but I experienced the generational trauma and pain there too. It seems the remnants of the Korean War and 30 years of violent US-backed military dictatorships in South Korea (Chun Doo Hwan, Park Chung Hee) still haunt us today. While I am grateful my grandparents and parents passed down Korean culture to me, there was also so much pain that came with it.
My hope is that more of us non-adoptees can have a sense of community with adoptees. I've slowly been navigating my way back to the Korean community in Minnesota, and I'm hopeful. I've healed a lot, and so far all of the Korean adoptees I've met have been kind and welcoming.
Here to shout out my Nigerian 🇳🇬 sister, Imaeyen Ibanga, for handling this deeply human story with tact, respect, & kindness. Well done Imaeyen! I'm assuming you're from the South South with that name.
Naija! Hello and thank you so much for watching :-) I hope you'll take the time to share this video.
I met a Korean adoptee in college and I was proud that she was going out of her way to hang out with other Asians and dated Asian men and clearly attempted to find her identity. Her adopted parents had encouraged her to explore her cultural background. She came to college with some footing on her self identity.
I’m an adoptee and I notice a lot of WMAF couples and sometimes it’s like, I wonder if most Asian girls and girls in general in America look to white guys or whiteness as that standard of beauty or something chic to be with or just perceived as better than an Asian guy or guys of any other race honestly. But also, I feel like, in the end, people have the freedom to love whomever they want. Creating self identity is probably the hardest thing. Frankly I disagree with the current goals of the politicized adoptees group. I definitely relate to the trauma, never being able to relate to the birth culture and the parents never having the ability to teach the culture to their kids, but we have to remember the purpose of adoption. To give the child a good life right? Ultimately I have a great education thanks to my parents, good friends who listen to me even if I don’t look like any of them, and have a pretty fortunate life. There are definitely negatives, the thoughts about the birth family, birth country, confusion, loss of language, etc. but it’s not like I languished in an orphanage and never got the education or job I wanted, or struggled to get my high school diploma. There should be pushback against the “savior” narrative, but I think adoption has its place until countries like Korea are able to change their society’s views and laws on domestic adoption and single mothers. Otherwise those kids will just stay in orphanages.
Personally I think the losses are ever so slightly less than the gains; if only by a slight margin. Not every adoptee will agree with me (like the ones in the political org) but that’s why self-identity is so important.
Her identity? Her identity was who she grew up as. Where you came from doesn't define you. It shouldn't define you. Saying it does is backing up every stereotype and racial troup ever.
@@marceloorellana5726 most people want to have some sort of connection to their culture.
@@TIENxSHINHAN It's not their culture. Culture is what you grow up in. They didn't. So it's not their culture. Culture is a social construct. You are no less Black or a human being for growing up in Iceland instead of Nigeria. Culture is where you are not where you came from. Culture is lived not visited for a surreal experience.
@@Stinger913 I'm an adoptee as well, and my first encounter with the adoptee community was with the hateful extremist groups who wish to abolish all adoption. But every community has extremists, and they tend to be the loudest! Your views sound more similar to the majority of the adoptee community that generally acknowledges the need for adoption / foster care in society and desires to reform systems and develop better resources for families so that adoptees and adoptive families can thrive.
You can tell the reporter really empathized and connected with the people she interviewed no matter their perspective, she has a gift. It makes it easier to watch especially for people who have lost a family themselves.
Hi J. I'm the reporter who did this video. Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to respond to my work. I'd love if you share this video AND tell me the kinds of stories you'd like me to pursue.
@@iiwrites Wow! I was not expecting a response. First, thank you for your work! I trust you will keep doing important stories such as this. I would like to see stories about qualified people discriminated, unfairly, for acceptance into larger societies for example people not hired due to being "overqualified" or just not hired due to perceptions of race, religion, etc. Also, something I know about... race based on skin color not being a thing; I can go into the biological rationale too.
I'm Mexican American. My mom is white and my dad is Mexican. I only grew up with white family and a white identity. So rebuilding a relationship with my native american heritage and a legacy of Spanish imperialism means I encourage Spanish publicly and socially and its language of endearment which I am still learning, but is very secondary to me learning nahuatl and feing loss and grief about the parts of Mexican culture I wasn't able to have that weren't Spanish. It's a very complex thing - Spanish is important but also it is a language that was forced upon us. And navigating being biracial when I appear as I do. I am not sometimes white and sometimes Mexican I am all of those things at once. It's really specific and especially since I grew up with only my white family it also means unlearning the thought of foreign feelings toward conservative Mexican values and culture. It's an appreciated and grief about what I gained and lost.
Native Pride 💖 Love Mexican Natives You guys are so cool
Well most Mexicans are Native American or Mestizo. So Spanish isn't foreign to you because you also have Hispanic ancestry.
Victimhood olympics.
Mexicans are mostly white in dna you are like 80 to 90% Western European/Iberian peninsula
@@GoldenBoyDims That's false. Most Mexicans are 70% Native American and the rest European or African. And over 20 million are 100% Native American.
Imaeyen is a wonderful interviewer.
Hey Tooty -- I hope I can call you Tooty -- thank you so much. I'd love to hear what stories you'd like to see me cover. Let me know if you have any ideas.
@@iiwrites The rapport you build with the subjects is incredible.
@@StephenYuan thank you so much. I really enjoy helping people tell their stories.
I have a friend who’s a Korean Minnesotan adoptee raised in a White family. Thanks for spreading the message about the adoptee solidarity group; will share.
Also, it was interesting to see different adoptees’ perspectives. Thank you for not flattening complexity.
Thank you to all the adoptees who are speaking out about their experiences and show us what has been missing/ we've been ignoring around the issue of adoption. I had a very romanticized idea of adoption and I'm glad they helped me develop.
Wishing all the families who somehow deal with this on either side strength and courage to talk about the effects even when it's hard ♥️
Must-Watch for Workers and Average-People:
Worker-Class-Struggles were amazingly covered by Second Thought and Some More News.
I will spam-this-comment-here in the hope to reach more people; hope im understood and not ignored for this practice.
This was beautifully done! I would love to see a series where the system of adoption is explored further, such as “How is it ethical in this day and age to have closed adoption records in a majority of states?”, “How is it ethical to have a system where there is so much money to be made off of the purchase of new born babies?”, “How many families could have been preserved if adoption agencies did not stand to gain financially off of relinquishment?”, “What types of coercive tactics have been used to persuade mothers & fathers to relinquish?” and “What are the psychological implications of being relinquished and/or relinquishing a child for adoption?”
There is a well-known saying by the Rev. Keith C Griffith: “Adoption loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful.” As an adult adoptee (who has positive relationships with my adoptive and birth-parents), I deeply resonate with this quote. We need platforms like yours to help change this system of adoption. I consider infant adoption, as it stands today, a form of human trafficking that is being packaged as an answer to infertility and family planning. Perspective adoptive parents are made to think these babies were unwanted, when many were deeply but a lack of support and finances where the determining factor. Birth-parents are not made aware of the immense grief and trauma they will experience after relinquishment and for the rest of their lives.
I am not pointing the finger at any member of the adoption triad. I am simply saying the system itself is inhumane on so many levels. These perspectives have to be explored with urgency as the American adoption system stands to gain financially from the Supreme Court’s recent decision.
I mostly agree but in Korea, unmarried mothers can't keep their babies due to their very rigid culture. An unmarried mother and her child would be ostracised. They also don't adopt as the bloodline is important to them.
It's not the West. Until they change their culture, the babies need to be raised somewhere and a loving home with the only people who will have them - white people - is better than raising them in an orphanage where they will never be accepted as part of that society due to their socially taboo heritage.
wow dropping knowlegde
I had a Korean coworker a while back who was adopted by two white parents. He was adamantly against the idea of white people adopting non white children. He told me he had a lot of self hate issues to work through once he went off to college and got the opportunity to be around other Asians/POC
There needs to be cultural sensitivity training or something
Self loathing in American suburbia vs. growing up in a very conservative Asian country where abandoned kids are viewed with suspicion, openly despised, and discriminated against. Because there are no black or asians stepping up to adopt abandoned kids. Abandoned kids in Korea back then and even today are treated horribly. But atleast it is not racist since it just asians mistreating each other. They are not even considered marriageable!
As a Cebuano-Filipino adoptee, I'd like to further note that the experiences of transracial adoption is, as most had probably guessed, is not homogenous. I think it was arguably responsible to keep the interviewed adoptees within one racial group because of that. So as many of you can imagine, Black and Native Americans adoptees have their own set of complexities within the adopted family system and how they develop relations with their white parents. And I myself have found that I cannot connect well with East Asian adoptees because their experiences as adoptees and what had systematically led to their adoption does not align with my experiences. This was such a excellently radical start for people to be exposed to these subjects!
"i dont think race has come up" bro you and i both know that just because theyre not consciously aware of it and actively noticing it, doesnt mean its not affecting them. especially when you dont normalize it, just like youre doing, trying to put it to the back of your mind, even though i know that you were affected by it because how can you not in suburban minnesota lmao not trying to say i know your life, and in the era of bts, who knows what could happen right? but preparing yourself and your child for these conversations is better than trying to mend the trauma after it happens. i had a 5 year old girl talk to me about her skin being "blacker" than her peers, it happens.
on the other end, it felt like Margie was speaking through me. "its not an intellectual exercise, its deeply tied to my loss" EXACTLY 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Thank you for this! As an exported/imported human (Korea-Sweden) I can relate. Also want to shine a light on Sweden which is the second largest importer of Korean babies. For those of you who are trying to lessen what is expressed in this, you are a part of the problem. Respectfully, respect all different types of interracial adoptee experiences and think beyond “kids from poor countries need to be rescued” type of mindset to justify your craving to have a kid to call your own.
Switzerland is currently unrolling it's history with international adoptions. There was a report published about Sri Lanka around two years ago and there where cases of human traffiking and even a baby farm. Another report about other counrties will be released in autumn this year. One of the people leading this project is one of my professors and she stated that international efforts in this matter is crucial, I hope there will be research at least on European level.
With the Sri Lankan adoptees, at least Swiss governmet assists them to find their families and relatives. I hope we learn from past mistakes in this matter, it's heartbreaking.
We aren't a part of a problem. You are riding ethnocentric views in order to cause legitimate harm onto children in need. Seek help and log off.
@@martinae8601 thank you for sharing this! There are quite a lot of Sri Lankan adoptees in Sweden as well… 💔
@@Dantakurasaki yes there are of course children that need help AND birth parents that need support. The market has prioritized selling the babies over solving the issues. It’s not an easy fix that’s not what I’m saying but we need to view the issue from different perspectives.
@@hannaisGOLDEN are you high
Sorry that there white parents couldn't figure out how to relate to them. But I don't think it's impossible to raise a child who looks different from you. I am mixed so I'm different from both of my parents. When I was growing up my white pops warned me that police would assume I was black and treat me like second class. Neither one of my parents went through what I did as a kid, but that true with most kids even when ur the same race, and the idea that just because these parents couldn't step outside of there own experience and relate to there children certainly doesn't mean it's impossible.
Edit: now that I think about it when my white dad died multiple black men told me that he taught them how to b a man. I won't lie my pops was an extremely exceptional man, but it not impossible.
Tbh, I think the issue here is that they're adopted from a culture where their mothers were forced to give them up due to the culture not accepting single parents.
That's traumatic for the mother who loves her child and traumatic for the children when they grow up to realise the loss on both sides that was necessary for these foreigners to build their family.
I think too many adoptive families don't recognise that and just dismiss the biological background as irrelevant because "we're you're real parents now", which isn't reality and hurts the child's experience and is an insult to where they come from - their birth mother.
There's no empathy from the adoptive parents towards the birth mother, no respect for her and that impacts how the adoptees view themselves.
I don't think the two are comparable. You still have 2 parents of your racial background. It's not the same but it's nothing like being an interracial adoptee where you are nothing like them in terms of racial background.
@@cherrymilk5590 that's valid. It's not the same exact thing. But my white dad raised my black brother, and my brother has only talked about how he improved his life with love acceptance and guidance. Never has he mentioned a bad quality my dad had as a parent. My brother and many cousins who are all black, told me when my dad died that he taught them how to b a man. None of them have ever said anything about him not being fit to raise them or not understanding them cause they were black. Literally not once, not even a little bit.
My father was a special man. He didn't judge nobody, and I no a lot of people say that, but this is a man that when he died there was a crackhead on my block that cried when we told her. Not just because he was generous, but because of the way he probably made her feel when he gave her the money. Best lesson he ever taught me is that, if u r a good observer, u can learn anything, because every bit of knowledge accumulated by people was originally learned through observation. If you have children who r different from you, and u can step outside if your own experienced and learn about there's through real observation, you should b able to put yourself in there shoes. Obviously it can b hard, but like most things hard if u keep practicing this, u can become very good at this.
This story is both good and bad. I hope that these children learn the Korean language and get opportunities to visit their homeland.
Hi. I'm the person who did this story. What was good and what was bad?
@@iiwrites
Good;
1) People in the US considerate enough to go abroad and adopt.
2) Beautiful, decent, well-developed people get a chance at a good life.
3) There is a working relationship between the US and Korea.
4) There's a network of people in both countries who work to make adoption possible.
5) They (the children) didn't end up in the PRK (North Korea).
Bad:
1) Little children need adoptive parents in the first place.
2) There is so much racism here in the US.
3) Asians may be in danger in the US simply for being Asian.
4) These Korean-Americans feel their adoptive parents can't relate to them.
5) These Korean-Americans have lost their natural parents and families.
Personally, I think that Asian people are beautiful and quite remarkable. I will never understand what Asian hate comes from or what it's about.
@@iiwrites I think this antiwhite narrative that Asians in the US are in danger of being victimized by White for their Asian heritage people is absurd. The worst they will suffer from the White race is an insult from an unkind person. They should be more worried about being victimized by nonwhites, particularly Black people who are the perpetrators of an overwhelming majority of racially-motivated antiwhite and antiasian crimes. By even implying otherwise, you are doing everybody a disservice, White or nonwhite.
That terrible shooting in Atlanta targetted female prostitutes, whom the shooter was angry at due to his unmanaged sex addiction, not any particular group of nonwhites. It's hard to even say he had a hatred for women, rather he was attracted to them and wanted to lash out at what he erroneously felt was the source of his addiction instead of looking inward at his hideous flaws.
The idea of White people aka Westernkind not being able to understand or properly raise nonwhites is true, but no person can properly raise a child of another race and this really isn't up for debate. It is perhaps excusable to focus on White being unable to raise Asian, but I think your intention may have been to paint it as a flaw White parents have moreso than other parents.
You should understand that White people largely adopt nonwhites because we are discriminated against and White-guilted by everyone around us (not literally everybody, but we are all trapped within the antiwhite narrative to some extent). If we weren't afflicted with White noir we likely would be having children of our own who can relate to us instead of raising confused nonwhite or mixed-race children. Also, we are no less able to raise a child of another race that Black parents or Asian parents are able to race non-Black or non-Asian adoptees. It is an unfortunate thing that my people adopt nonwhites instead of continuing our bloodlines and all peoples should combat antiwhitism as the most vile form of discrimination and hatred in the West.
I liked Chris the most because he was okay with who he was, embraced his identity, but wasn't full of hatred for my race like some of the Asian women you interviewed, especially the one whining about the nonexistent thing called "White supremacy". He had no chip on his shoulder and I sensed no irrational frustration or hatred from him towards any peoples.
Lastly, using the term "people of color" is immoral, as it excludes my people (Westernkind) from mankind and implies that we are without color.
Informative doc, but it is full of antiwhite tropes like the ones I listed. I know you won't take this seriously because introducing all these tropes was 100% intentional, but I'm letting you know that some of us know what you're doing, we're waking up, and one day antiwhitism will go extinct.
@@terryashley4674 i am sorry but this just isn't true. America is perhaps the least racist country on the planet. Asians are a no greater risk for violence than any other group, you are just wrong. About half of my friends growing up were Asian and I myself am an Arab. Trust me when I say that modern politics has blown very minor issues way out of proportion. These people are having problems because adoption itself is a rough thing. Not because of of the adoptive parents but the birth parents. Many people have identity issues but most aren't exploited by AJ plus to stroke division in the US.
@@Kire1120 I have lived in the US all my life. I've always recognized the racism in the US. There is no denying it. I have experienced it many times myself. I see it on my job everyday. I grew up within a racist society. It's ugly and fearsome. I didn't know about Asian hate until recently and it didn't surprise me. I've been to a few countries and I'm sure it exists there too, but I can only speak about this country. I know for an absolute fact that the US is racist country and has been since it's inception.
Wonderful and heartbreaking stories!This has made me appreciate my family culture more
This is the first media report I have ever seen on this subject. Thank you AJ
Hello. I am the person who did this story. I'm glad you watched it and learned something new. I'd love if you'd share this video with others.
@@iiwrites One guenuine feedback is where you rephrased one of the respondents, from "cannot ethically adopt ... because..." to "it is unethical for white parents to adopt...". It was clever, subtle.
All things being equal, I would place a child with adoptive parents who reflect the racial and religious make up of the child. But only as a tie breaker. The fitness of the parents is paramount. Authorities should give help to parents on how to help the child not feel culturally isolated. Having a loving family of different make up is better than living in an orphanage.
I’m a Honduran adoptee. I was adopted by two Jewish Americans. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
I understand that even as an adoptee I am very fortunate because clearly many transracial adoptees have suffered trauma. However, I think it’s wrong to say that all white people should never adopt outside their race.
Well of course Honduran isn't a race. It's a nationality. If you are like the majority of people from Honduras than you are Native American with maybe a little European blood. And Jews aren't just white. They are Middle Eastern and Black in Ethiopia. So what's the big deal? Honduras is in America just like the USA. So you didn't go far, you're still in your continent.
@@marceloorellana5726 this is by far the most confusing thing I have ever read.
"What's the big deal?" What does this even mean? I wasn't making a big deal.
"So you didn't go far?" I was the only hispanic/brown/mestizo kid in my school. I grew up in Georgia.
"And Jew's aren't white" Well they are significantly whiter than me.
@@ernst565 👍🏻
Thank you. I was adopted in America by immigrants who came to America. An Irish father and as a sephardic Jewish mother. For a journalistic piece covering adoption they sure don’t mention the love and complete family that is created from the process.
@@Historiehomme I totally agree. i guess happy adoption stories aren't newsworthy.
You should check the South Korean Belgian animated documentary Approved For Adoption. If there was an American version. It should be in Minnesota
OK, I'll look for this. Thanks for the rec. I hope you enjoyed this video.
It's an interesting question that adoptee mentioned in the beginning, of whether White parents were able to truly empathize with experiencing racism and whether they are able to offer advice. As an Asian immigrant to North America, it saddens me that I can empathize because I indeed have experienced it, but I honestly wouldn't have any answers to question two besides some variation of "ignore it".
My adoptive parents ignored it or blamed me, and insisted I had done something to anger the racist.
They didn't explain the history of racism, what I should do to protect myself, or that some people are just jerks.
I don't really have any input on the topic but I think it's cool the creator is actually responding to comments, that doesn't happen so often
I want y'all to know I'm paying attention to your responses.
This hits home for me. I am not adoptee but my experience growing up biracial.and bicultural w/o access to one side for so long really was an emotional struggle. Even now, there is a sense of regaining control after undergoing a feeling of loss. And seemingly random and ordinary elements of indian culture seem very significant, almost.magical to me. Its very hard to be separated from something so integral to your life and even more difficult to come back to it
The adoptee Chris Wendland has a very odd way of dealing with race. He avoided identifying as an Asian American, he also never talked about racism with his children. His job as a parent is to help them navigate the world they live in, by not talking about race in a concrete and meaningful way. He is doing them a disservice, and leaving them to fend for themselves. It is clear as day that he has issues.
I have also seen Korean adoptees in Europe embrace their biological motherlands culture when adults. Mentality I think this is where the inner emptiness and conflicts comes from. Because you don't want to hurt your new parents by embracing your biological parents culture.
It is embracing who they are. Culture and ethnicity are handed down. No adoptee should be caused to feel they are betraying anyone because they desire to discover their roots. Everyone needs to know who they are.
Not knowing your foundation is traumatic even under the best of circumstances.
There are so many children in the foster care system who need adoption, I don't really think Americans need to look overseas for adoption?
Just because someone is in the foster care system does not mean they have no surviving kinship. Many have had their family’s broken up by the system of Family Policing known as “child welfare” which foster care is a part of.
Foster care children will go back to the birth parents, a warning given to families taking in foster kids is that parental rights have not been terminated and it’s almost like you’re hosting a kid for a couple months not getting a child to take on as your own.
@@Timothee_Chalamet_CMBYN Some of those parents should honestly not have their Kids back, Sometimes they end up going back with parents and dying
Correction for the editor of the programme, the Korean war has not formally ended. The ceasefire which ended the shooting and killing is still in place, there has been no formal signed peace accord agreement reached by the parties concerned as yet.
Hi. I'm making a note that I saw this.
This is a heartbreaking and heartwarming story. And who else was impressed by the gymnastic ability of the reporter in the long winter coat she had on?! WTH!!!!!!
So interesting. Best interviewer! She needs her own talk show or something.
Let me tag my bosses so they can see this. :-) Thank you so much for your time and attention. I'd love if you share this video.
Excellent journalism! 💯🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
It's so important with interracial adoption that you don't forget about their Heritage and culture even if they weren't brought up with it and don't know about it you should be the one to open that up to them so they can learn about it even though that's not all that defines them it's very important in their history.
The more traditional and reserve you are in general the less you will adapt to change. The more open minded you are the more open you are to change and can adapt to different stages of life. Been a child from a biracial couple is just one of the many stages you will be face with how you respond or adapt will determine your role in life.
제 아내도 미네소타 출신이라서 더 공감이 되네요, 힘내세요!! my wife is Minnesotan and she lives in Korea!
Are you watching this from Korea?
oh boy......everytime i see the word "adoption" in the title of anything, the hairs on my neck raise and i already know im about to get heated. of course, the usual response from people is "have you gone to therapy" which totally dismisses and minimizes the reality that adoptees are statistically overrepresented in therapy, and that counseling does not solve the social and political turmoil of our grand societys picture perfect view on how amazing and AWESOME adoption is. ew.
no, im interested in facts and experiences that we never hear about. as a korean adoptee myself, grew up my whole life in minnesota, i want to hear stories like mine that delve deeper into the trauma and the pain that i experienced growing up. but also looking at self discovery and cultural identity as a RECLAMATION and UNEARTHING not an excuse or a pathetic attempt at grasping for straws in an empty cup. so many people act like culture is something you can lose and gain, and not something that is socially constructed as a conceptually abstract idea, intersecting with other social constructions such as race and gender, which inevitably leads to peoples perceptions of it being wildly diverse and varied. meaning, we all think of culture differently, but the main consensus among humans is that your face is a huge contributing factor to how you experience the world. thus, culture and race become indistinguishable from each other, and we adoptees live our lives as cultural others to our peers and family, even though we grew up in the same environment.
we are unearthing our truths by learning about our birthculture, embracing our birthculture, even if we have to jump over hundreds of thousands of hurdles and obstacles like our racist/xenophobic families, our own self internalized hatred, and our own ignorance. it is worth it. i grew up my whole life feeling like a full human being, but realized i didnt actually know how that truly felt until i started embracing my lived identity. because really, i had two identities. one was my expected identity where my parents believed i would thrive if they just raised me like any kid on the block. the other is my lived identity which includes my actual lived experiences and the fact that i did the opposite of thriving, and thus, needed to validate the social and political problems that were not on my parents radar. that meant i had to unlearn and unpack all the toxic racist sh*t and put in unimaginable amounts of effort to learn to love myself the way i was never taught, to familiarize myself with people who looked like me, and to indulge in racial mirroring in a way i wasnt allowed to before.
just like the adoptee in this video, sometimes it feels like "my body remembers" and it sounds totally pseudo and unsubstantiated and ridiculous but its TRUE and only us adoptees understand the feeling. when i eat korean food, when i sing korean music, when i wear korean traditional clothes, it doesnt feel (100%) abnormal or strange or foreign. it feels natural. normal. when my mom whined and complained about taking me to the "smelly asian markets" and buying kpop concert tickets and listening to me talk about korean culture with actual smiling eyes, i realized that there was no way i could fake myself anymore, and i didnt care who in my childhood thought it was disingenuous. they simply didnt know me. but of course, i didnt even know myself either.
us adoptees face a lot of backlash for what we do, whether its reclaming our birthcultures, speaking our truths about adoption, or rejecting the expected versions of ourselves that other people projected onto us. they can never be happy, or satisfied, or understanding and continually invalidate who we are, thats fine. but we know who we are. we are proud of that. and thats why adoptees are the strongest people around.
I hate the way transracial adoption is ALMOST ALWAYS reduced to just white people adopting non-white kids. Show us the people of color who adopt kids of different races as well. That would actually be interesting.
agreed
For real!
That number is actually very small, there was a study that came out a few years back where most of the adopting parents were white, something like over 95%. And the POC parents that were adopting didn’t look to overseas.
Because those situations are rare. The overwhelming majority of transracial adoptions are indeed white families adopting children of color. I am a transracial adoptee, I know plenty of adoptees, and I have never met a white person who was adopted by a family of color.
The Korean American dad- I want you to connect with your heritage as well. Your white parents did you a disservice and Kit will feel that.
How did her parents do her a disservice?
I don't know how to explain it other than culture is lost to all immigrant families. I lost it too (I'm not Korean but Arab) and i wasn't adopted. These parents did the best that they could for their children and are now being attacked by horribly cynical people like you.
Isn't it racist to think that a kid who was raised by white parents in their country has to speak korean just because he looks like that and a part of society "demands" it? I know many people who are disconnected from the country their parents once came from and they just don't care.
@@erickr.8977 by not learning about Korean culture... you get a Korean kid, you better learn some of the language and their culture, period
Are you sure that wasn't her birth parents fault?
As I Minnesotan , I been living in Minnesota for the past 22 years and one of the many things I love about my state is we welcome everyone and you will met the most friendly and outgoing people in my state
Your state is full of fckin racism
nice joke
I really enjoyed my time there doing this story. It's still too cold in April.
Lol, dude your friggin state led to Confederate statue toppling in MY state which has nothing to do with yours. How about Minnesotans stop rioting?
@@hubertcumberdale2651 cry harder your side lost the war
Excellent, thought-provoking video! I don't agree with the opinion that white parents are unethical to adopt a brown child. I understand and respect her opinion. Her experience justifiably formed that opinion. I think that while it certainly doesn't solve issues related to transracial families, love is still the most important factor. I myself am not adopted, but both sides of my family have a history of adoption. My brother and his wife adopted both of their children. Me and my brother are Asian American and his wife was white (sadly, she passed away a few years ago). The older son was adopted from Gautemala and the younger daughter is from China. Obviously their situation is different and they live in Northern Virginia where the area is quite diverse, so neither my nephew nor niece (as far as I know) have been affected much by being adopted or being in a transracial family. But I should ask them about it someday. Anyway, thanks again for the great video!
Hello. Thank you so much for watching and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I'd love if you shared this link with others.
I’m happy to hear that things are going well with your adopted nephew and niece. But there is no such thing as not being affected much by being adopted, whether transracial or not. I hope your family will provide the right acknowledgement and support. This is coming from myself as an adoptee (who grew up in a loving family), but you can also look up the data that are available about the impact of being adopted.
@@nayoungvanderende4112 Thanks for the info. I definitely have to get my nephew and niece's thoughts on it. I actually have another niece (actually a daughter of a first cousin) who is adopted. She was adopted from the Philippines at age 2. I'm pretty sure being adopted at that late age affected her quite a bit and she grew up with feelings of unworthiness and a lack of self esteem. It didn't help that she discovered she was lesbian and different to many of her peers. She's in a better place now as a young adult and living her life as well as she can. It helps that she knows that she's well loved by everyone in the family, I think...
@@ronalddelrosario7405 I’m not saying it necessarily has to cause major issues, but it has an impact one way or another. A lot of adoptees try to ignore being adopted, because their focus is/has always been to adapt, fit in and not be “different”. However usually, sooner or later (and for some it may be in their 50s) people inevitably think about where they come from and everything that goes with that when you are adopted.
I feel there is a divergence between Asians living outside of Asia and Asians that live mostly within Asia. I myself have lived most of my life in Asia but have lived in western countries for several years
It seems Asians living abroad tend to over accentuate their physical differences and identify closely with their race that is associated with large geographical areas (like East Asian, South Asian, Middle Eastern), as opposed to asians like me who tend to identify more closely our culture & customes, caring less about our physical features (like being Tamil, Baloch, or Javanese)
As the latter, I tend to feel uncomfortable when the former try to ditance themselves with non-asians by their race, as this is a par people can't change. I worry this will cause a self-fulfiling feedback loop where they see themselves as fundamentally different from non-asians which cause them to be more withdrawn or beligerent towards non-asians which then causes non-asians to further distance from them or possibly become hostile
For Asians living outside of Asia, you don't need to feel insecure of losing your Asian-ness. You are your own person. You are in an evironment where you are not exposed the the cultures of your ancestors, but in that foreign land, you are free to form your own identity
Imaeyen's line of questioning was so impactful! not only that but her way of connecting with every group she was interviewing wasn't lost on me, just incredible journalism! I'm so glad SHE did this video, imo she should be given control of more projects in the future
(I hope these pronouns are correct, if not, I'm sorry and hope to be corrected)
Hello, it's me. Thank you so much for taking the time to watch this and for the compliments. I really appreciate it. And you did get my pronouns correct, so no worries there. I hope you'll check out my latest story, which drops here in about 8 hours.
@@iiwrites It would have been nice if you asked these adoptees if they had a romanticized
view of their birth countries and those societies.
This documentary suggests that humans should only adopt children who look like ‘themselves’. So confusing 😢
Hello. I'm the person who did this documentary and I'm wondering where you see anyone say that.
@@iiwrites I think they’re referring to 2:47 when she says there’s no way for white families to ethically adopt children of color
@@josephproffit4198 Ah, the documentary didn't say that. One interviewee in the documentary did. It's very important to make that distinction clear.
@@iiwrites it is implied throughout. White's are portrayed as evil racist adopters who steal children. That is the subtext of the whole documentary. In the future, I know it will be banned. Everyone will stick to their own kind. White kids will get adopted. All others will be left behind. Wokeness is the future now.
@@steveerossa It sounds like your excited about. Do you delight in other peoples misfortune or just take pride in being obnoxious? PoC have different life experiences because of how they look. It affects how white people treat them. It affects how other PoC treat them. It affects there dating life. It affects there chances employment. I affects how they treated under the law. It affects how they will be treated when they leave the US for travel or work. The experiences of the parents will not be the same as that of the child period. If white adopters cannot deal with that fact then yes they are better sticking to just adopting from the tiny pool of white adoptees that exist out their.
Interesting my state has the largest Korean population in the country but no H-Mart .
There's injustice everywhere.
What state?
@@dipp1511 I think she might mean Minnesota. I don’t think Minnesota has has a large Korean population over all, it’s Alamo non existent but adoptee wise maybe
Children adopted to foreign countries are not abandoned, and 100% is the mother's choice of love to save the baby. I also gave birth to a 7months premature baby in 1988, and I couldn't support myself, so I sent the baby to an adoption center, and the baby lived in Minnesota. Mrs. Han, who worked at the adoption center, helped me, but our 35 year old son hasn't been looking for a mother yet, so we can't see each other. I'm praying to see him every day.
I agree with the women in this video who believe white adoption of international transracial children cannot be ethical, especially in the US.
I've met Asian adoptees who felt completely isolated and disconnected from their birth heritage, but also unable to leave that behind because of the way they look and the world sees and treats them. I've also met Asian adoptees who resented being stolen from their birth heritage and countries and never been given the chance to connect with what should have been their right.
There is absolutely an arrogance to the thought that parents of a different heritage/race can take a child without their educated consent away from their birth environment and raise them in a new context. That's all the more extreme in cases of white parents and colored children.
Fact of the matter is adoption is an extremely costly process, especially transracial international adoption, one that profits many organizations involved in it. The "demand" for international adoptees is so high compared to the "supply" that oftentimes the process more closely feels like kidnapping than adoption. Historically, the highest numbers of children being adopted by white US parents came right after wars, where apparently "orphaned" children were shipped overseas without ever even identifying the birth parents or receiving the consent of the birth parents. Even now, birth parents are lied to or kept in the dark about where their children are going.
Giving up a child to be raised in their homeland is one thing. Giving up a child to be raised in a country so far from where you can ever hope to see them again (due to finances, language, cultural barriers, etc.) is an entirely different matter.
Thanks to AJ+ for the discussion around this difficult and tragic topic.
maybe because native american children and babies who are adopted into white families (sometimes under questionable circumstances) are viewed much more critically today?
This always hits hard especially with the adoption of native/ indigenous and pacific islander children
Entirely incorrect.
Agreed, my heart goes out to the adoptees. I've heard some horror stories irl. While the parents' intentions are well meaning, American culture is hostile for anyone that is not W.A.S.P.
Hello. I'm the journalist who did this story. Thank you so much for taking the time to watch. Please feel free to share the story.
I believe it is harder for Asians (especially for adopted) to live in states that have majority of white. Maybe it will be different if those Asians grow up in more diverse area.
I wonder what percentage of adoptees feel their experience was negative vs feeling happy they had the opportunity to be adopted by a loving family.
My heart goes out to all people of color adopted by oblivious white parents.
I don't think those adoptive white parents are anymore oblivious than you and me. I think those white parents should be applauded for their efforts and willingness to endure the expenses. I'm a black male, almost 70. Maybe those parents don't know much about Korean language or culture, but they know how to help where it's needed. I doubt if the critics put their necks (and wallets) on the line like that for strangers; not even of their own race. Lighten up, people.
@@terryashley4674 Don't bother with Nicole. She's clearly just a bitter antiwhite.
@@terryashley4674 Two thumbs up for Terry.
Race grifters like yourself are holding this country back from progress. Please find love and drop the hate. Life is too short...
thank you
Budae-jjigae is one of my favorites. (0:00-0:27)
🇫🇷🇪🇺I suppose it makes more sense to find children that are in need of adoption or fostering with the same ethnicity or race as the adoptive parents obviously that’s not always possible but I think it’s better for children to be around adoptive parents of the same or similar parents for the child’s physiological and mental well being.✌🏼
Just saw in Southern California, a woman won't allow people who support 2/A or vote the wrong way . To adopt a dog...sadly this could be a death sentence on dogs who dont find a home. As it already is ,it's hard enough.
and now I'm hungry ...going to my Super Market's International section brb lol ...thanks AJ+ 🥟 🤣 👍
Let us know how it goes.
Never tried. Anyone here from Romania and can say if we have something similar? Looks like some sort of "salam victoria-parizer-ish" but in a can....
Da, avem si noi o chestie similara. Am o prietena care a mancat un fel de "spam" de cand era mica. Si da, e ca parizerul dar un pic mai diferit, parca e mai sarat. E bun prajit sau steamed cu orez
Can we get a video on the other side of the debate of adoptees? 😅 good video nonetheless though
Thank you so much for watching. Tell me more about what you're looking to see.
Great story and you showed both sides , the comments are weird guess they didn’t watch the whole thing . I wonder if transracial adoption is harder on female adoptees
I hadn't considered the gender lens as a clarifying point. Thank you so much for watching and let me know you'd like to watch next.
If adoption allow children to keep their native parent name and allow them to access native relatives - parents, grandparents...it make easier. First priority should be given to immediate relatives of child - I dont think this is happening in every adoption case - they usually focus on just the parents give up child.
Children got questions - about their birthplace, their parents, etc.
Adopting is a timely and costly process and parents get thankless job. I am glad the parents raising the children are able to give them a privilege life and dont have any strange gender ideology imposed on children.
I wish humans could live together As One in term of relationship and Respect but I guess that's Ain't gonna Happen....any time soon!
God. Why is there so much pain in this world? ...
Yes, as a mixed blood native American and white person, my white family knew nothing about racism and blamed me for doing something wrong, whenever anyone was racist to me, never ever supported me.
give an example.
How old where you when you were adopted?
Was your family payed to adopt you?
Someone research the name
Cheryl Marie Markson
Life was led bringing these baby’s to great homes
FCVN came from the Love in her heart
Personally, I think it's obviously always a lot better for a child to have a family that will take care of them than not. It's not ideal to need to be an adoptee, especially a foreign one, but it's certainly preferable to the alternative of being stuck in an orphanage or foster care system!
It's not the transracial parents fault that they will not be able to relate to some of the experiences of their adopted child, or be able to help them much with that aspect of their children's life. It's a disadvantage, but this is where a special effort should be made to make sure the child isn't alienated from their heritage and others who look like them.
On one level, I empathize with these particular adoptees because I'm from that part of the country, and I know how usually, even kind and well-meaning Midwestern white folks don't understand how racism works or what it's function is. They think "racism" is when an individual calls you a bad name and you are upset about it.
So when one's racial appearance becomes a source of potential physical danger for their child, the adoptive parents are taken by surprise. Those are uncharted waters for them.
On the other hand, these particular adoptees are quite blessed. They all seem reasonably well-off, they are Asian, so folks will assume they are intelligent, well-mannered, hard-working, and deserving of whatever they have. If they want to, they can probably track down their birth relatives and travel to Korea.
I lived in Korea for a couple of years, and even though it is a charming, prosperous country, I wouldn't want to be a permanent resident, even if my heritage was Korean. It's a racist and xenophobic country too, just in a different style than America, and Korea can be a harder place to live if you are different. The pressure citizens there are under to conform isn't something I'd want for myself or my kids.
It's interesting that the South Korean government is still allowing transnational adoptions. In the aftermath of the Korean War, it made more sense, but nowadays, why?
How can you say if these adoptees are blessed or not?
Not every adoption is because a child didn't have family. US adoption agencies coerce poor mother's overseas to give up their children in the belief they will be given a better life but will they?
I agree, I think adoptive parents do a helluva job deciding to raise an adopted child, and whilst it's definitely not ideal to raise someone from a different race, it's not the parents fault for being white or not being able to understand their child's identity issues and experiences of racism. What if those white families were the only ones willing to adopt these POC adoptees? If not for them maybe they would still be orphans. That being said I'm not adopted so I cannot imagine the struggle that adoptees all go through regarding their identity and a feeling of not being heard/understood. It would be great though if a white adoptive parent takes an interest in their child's ethnicity/culture, whether it's in the kitchen cooking food, learning the language or carrying out some of the traditions. I'm mixed race and I struggle with identity issues and it means a lot being able to experience different parts of both my western and Asian culture.
Its also very taboo in Korean culture to adopt a child so many Korean orphans almost always never get adopted in their birth country, same thing with china, especially with girls.
very good video but America separates itself from where the parentless children come from. you have killed 20 percent of the Korean population in a needless war and now buy their children in some form of market to improve their lives. no 1 individual is responsible but I feel like the video should cover that simple fact if hyper-focusing on Korean adoptees
The Korean war is justifiable
@@ling636 was a failure on every front in terms of peace talks. the war was very much avoidable by both superpowers at the time. The soviets even suggested legislation that would withdraw every foreign Troop from the USA and the Soviet Union in Korea and leave the democracy up to Koreans but it failed to prosper. but you could argue in favor of ending war results if you want. Failing to secure an agreed election with both south and north participants is the biggest failure at attempted democracy. instead a boycott from North Korea and the soviets when the USA tried to force the UN to lead an isolated democracy vote when it was completely western-backed and filled with ex-nazis at the time. Also, the US military constantly bringing up nuclear proliferation did not help. It seemed like the faux show of democracy was more important than actual democracy for the USA where the Soviets before the war were confident the Koreans would choose communism for themselves but it's possible a United Korea could have chosen a US-style democracy too. Anytime millions of people die when they could have avoided conflict completely id say isn't quite as justifiable. If youre talking pure invasion counter then ok but it never had to happen
@@GhettoNBA there's a really good book called To Save The Children of Korea which explores why so many of their children have been sent out to be adopted internationally. The very short answer is that it was SK's way of "taking out the trash" (originally the children who were put up for adoption were the children of Korean women and American GIs). Of course it's more complex than that but it's very illuminating.
Honestly no. What matters if ur good parent for the kid. Because u could black, white or any race. Because being a bad parent is not race needed
It is very telling on issues/problems/challenges with adoption when the Korean man states less issues than the woman (men have better opportunities 2 be same social class as parents (or better).
How many transracial adoptees oppose transracial adoption? I think they are in the minority but I couldn’t find that number.
Hello. I did this story. I'm unsure if this is a statistic that lives anywhere. I didn't come across anything about this in my research.
Why would you assume they are in the minority? I am a transracial adoptee that is connected with large communities of other adoptees. you’d be surprised how many of us adult adoptees have critiques of this system. do some research, there are many of us talking about it.
@@MrKylefreese
Critiques of the system is not the same thing as an adult wishing they had been given to different parents. Do you know the percentage?
@@_robustus_ no one knows “the percentage”, and it doesn’t really matter. it’s a reductionist way of looking at the issues being brought up.
@@MrKylefreese
I asked because I want to know how big the problem is, since some call it unethical. Also I wanted to be sure that the critics are adult adoptees themselves. I have no interest in the opinions of outsiders who might advocate segregation for people about whom they know nothing.
now who thought wearing a mask the entire time was a good idea
I did. I'm the one who did it. We're quite literally still in a pandemic where the science has proven the effectiveness of mask wearing.
This is weird, I met a Korean in France, 🇫🇷 he was from Minnesota, and was adopted, by white parents. I didn’t know this was a ‘thing’? Here’s me thinking he was pretty anomalous, come to find out white Minnesota couples adopting Korean children is a trend?!!? 🤔 how did that trend start?!
they explain in the video the answer to your question
Korean War
Its also very taboo for Koreans to go and adopt kids so Korean adoptees almost never get adopted in their birth country.
70k?! Wow
People confusing culture with ethnicity.
I think saying any adoption by white parents of non white children is unethical is a bit of an exaggeration.
Hello. I hope you watched the whole video. I ask a white mother of two Asian adoptees about this comment specifically. You should hear and see her response.
Thousands upon thousands of transracial adoptees would disagree with you.
People in this video do not have obesity problems. This region eat less sugar?
Certain races are far more likely to actually adopt children of other races, especially because certain countries endorse adoption far more, such as the US
Overall great and interesting documentary about a topic that needs to be discussed. Parents who adopt children of color definitely need to be aware of the struggles their children are likely to go through.
One thing that is troubling to me in this video (and I don’t have the answers, these are things I’m trying to figure out) is the ethnocentric understanding of culture. Like the belief that because this woman is ETHNICALLY Korean, she SHOULD learn to speak Korean and make Korean food. Also the idea that it is unethical for parents to adopt children of another race. Like I have heard white nationalists argue the same thing: that families shouldn’t mix race and Koreans should just stay in Korea and keep their culture separate from “white” culture.
I do believe that white parents need to be careful not to adopt children of color just to fulfill some “white savior” complex. They should educate themselves on what their children might go through so they can at least empathize with them, even if they’ll never fully understand what it’s like. However, I don’t believe that there is no ethical way that white parents can adopt children of color.
Hello. I did this documentary and want to thank you for taking the time to watch it and comment. I hope you'll share this video with others.
@@iiwrites Thank you for making it! I shared it with my family and it sparked a great discussion
Yes I was quite shocked when the lady said there's no ethical way for a white parent to raise a POC adoptee, and that "white people will never understand people of colour". It's like dayum bro give these white people a chance lol, I think it's brilliant these people are even deciding to adopt. Too many orphans out there without a home man.
If someone wants to learn their biological culture that's totally fine, but yeah, there shouldn't be pressure on them to do this. Everyone is an individual at the end of the day and it's up to them how they want to express themselves.
@@richardmccabe2392 not so fun fact: a lot of "orphans" are not orphans at all, many of them were kidnapped from poor families and placed in orphanages to adopt out to families in developed countries. This is particularly true for children adopted from Latin American countries, but is also true for eastern Europe and China. I personally do not know a single "orphan" adopted from a Latin American country who didn't come to find out that their biological parents were very much still alive.
I wish I can change color!
I don't think transracial adoption is unethical, being the white cousin of an Asian adoptee, and I'm puzzled how anyone could think that.
My aunt and uncle never saw themselves as "white saviors", and that wasn't their motivation for adoption, to prove the moral superiority of a particular race (my Uncle was Greek-American, my Aunt was northern European). I think that's an unfair stereotype of people that adopt, it's more like an ugly caricature.
Korea loves multiculturalism.
It's incredibly diverse.
Lol.
Clearly someone who’s never been to Korea lol
So the story leave the children in the country let them suffer it better in the long run
As the person who did this video I can tell you the story invites people to explore the intricacies and delicacies around adoption and centers the rarely amplified voices of adoptees. Please watch the full video.
Not it all. Provide resources, support groups that help them identify with their culture, listen to them, dont try to change them.
Too many good answers out there.
@@mickiemallorie nope. To be on the safe side. Everyone should stick to their own kind. Since we are told white privilege is so evil and white ppl will never understand these kids of other races. It is safer for those kids to grow up in group homes in their own countries to maintain their culture.
@@steveerossa okay.
Cool but difficult.
Hi. I did this video. Say more. I'm trying to understand what you're conveying.
As a member of a minority in Spain, Galician, who lived one year in the US.
You are just facing the consequences of linking culture with race/ethnicity.
When I say you I mean people living in the USA.
@@slasherlovingay2488 Oh yeah, assigning culture according to the colour of your skin or complexion is pretty racist
WHY ARE YOU COUNTING THE NUMBER OF CERTAIN RACES Y COLOR OF PEOPLE IN AMERICA....?????
All women
What?
@@erickr.8977 i think @karz12 is saying all the people in the video are women.
(which isn’t quite true because Kitt’s (spelling?) adoptive dad was featured and he is a man)
Why yes we did have an all woman crew on the ground. Isn't it great? I love that for us.
Most children in america that are adopted are women, and most of them asian. This plays into the stereotype that asian women are easy to handle / submissive. This is a type of asian "colonization" mindset that white people feel entitled to participate in.
God some of the opinions in this video disgust me. I am mixed race and was always made to feel like an outcast by people (particularly certain minorities) for not fitting a certain mold. I have two loving parents that come from different backgrounds. This racial segregation is precisely having the opposite effect of what it wants to achieve.
@Mohammed Thank you thank you! :)
Race is not real (racism, however, is). The word ethnicity would work better in the title.
TL;DR
Yes. Race always matters.
I think that lady who is crying over agency needs some perspective. Hurt people can also be wrong. My experience is I’m happy I was adopted. I love my fosters parents very much and am close to them. I also met my birth mom and thought (as she lived in a shack), damn, this could’ve been my life.
- me, a Filipino adoptee
That's the thing, your experience is yours, and hers is different.
Your mother lived in a shack, and if you had lived with her, I'm sure you would've wanted to stay in the shack until you were old enough to try and seek to better the situation.
Because you didn't live in a shack, and lived in a nicer environment, you are basing your life on "hey, I could've lived in a shack"
See how easy it is for perspective to be different..
Thank you so much for watching and sharing your personal perspective.
@@gundamt437 ...I want you to sit back and actually say "I just used ethnocentric views to try and rationalize telling someone to live in a shack as a child."
@@Dantakurasaki Never in my comment did I mention anything about ethnicity.
I simply said, that if the commenter wasng adopted, he would've lived with his mother in the shack and when he got older, he would've tried to Alleviate his mother's poor state...
But seeing as he was adopted, he was glad he didn't live in a shack...
There are literally people in this world, who lived with poor parents, and that poverty gave them the drive to work hard.
My comment was based on the different perceptions of the same scenario.
How is that ethnocentric?
@@Dantakurasaki I would argue that it’s pretty strange of you to believe that children being severed from their families and sent overseas to live with affluent, white, americans is inherently a moral good. in fact, that belief system is connected to White saviorism, American exceptionalism, and the ideas that we should be trying to “save” people all around the world.
I'm afraid this argues, by parallel, against miscegenation.
No, as long there's lots of talking.
Thank you 45 for parroting the tcheina-virus BS...
I feel like the US didn’t make them feel American enough to the point they crave a different culture based on just their ethnicity.
I don't think so at all. I personally think that the adoptees in the video just want to get in touch with their ethnic culture. They're American nationally but Korean, Chinese, Mexican, Indian etc... at heart.
I feel like the US has no real culture to offer beyond consumption
@@jingbot1071 Then you're absolutely ignorant.
No that's not at all the issue. Many of us who are from recently immigrated families would like a connection to our heritage, these people do also, but it is muddled by adoption not "transracial families". I have the same impulse but wasn't adopted. There is a certain type of leftism which has infected these women that makes the American identity an exclusively Anglo thing when in reality that is not and has not been the case for hundreds of years. These women are as American as any other immigrant or descendants thereof
How do you know they're adopted? Two whites don't make a wong! lololol So am I!
I see her white
The other woman is african
You didn't lose a family. They didn't lose you. The paper trail is kept secret but many find their biological parents. You aren't lost. They aren't looking. You weren't a mistake. You are loved. I love you.
Creep.
Buy a family
globalization...
I think adoption has come a long way. Back in the day everything was sealed, secert and many kids werent even told they were adopted. Now the preferred method is an open adoption so birth parents can always be a part of the childs life and there isnt this nagging loss and unanswered questions. But not every adopted child has questions or need answers. I wish the woman in the program was more supported by her parents to explore her culture. I feel like she would not be so bitter about her adoption if they had.
they want a child like they want a dog.
so they buy one.
end of story....
Yeah... that's weird
First world problems.
As a Black 27yo transracial adoptee, I agree with the Korean woman saying that white parents adopting children of color is unethical.
My thoughts-It is scientifically proven that taking a child from its mother (even at birth!!) is inherently traumatic and has a high likelihood of negatively impacting the child for their entire life. Adoption or being stuck in foster care often are not the only two options. Adoption all too often is a permanent solution to a short-term problem (Financial, health-related, peer pressure, or lack legal of abortion services).
Adoptees advocate for the preservation of their identity. Both genetically and legally. When we are relinquished by our families and adopted (at birth or older), we are being forced into a contract that we cannot consent to that severs our relationship to any blood relatives, our family names, medical histories, and original birth certificates (in 48+ states).
Other options:
legal guardianship-giving adoptive parents legal rights of the child until they are 18 without legally severing familial ties, while also giving adoptees the agency to CHOOSE to be a part of the new family if they want to once they are older.
family adoptions-using the resources of the agency and the state to find a blood relative that can care for the child, so they don’t have to be removed from their family and culture.
financial & general health incentives-provide expecting mothers & families with the resources they need to raise the child. That couple spent close to $70k to adopt their son. think of how that money spent differently could impact that kid’s life.
I wish I could say more, but there’s too much. There is so much out there online and on social media about adoption-please read and learn. It’s crucial to hear it from adoptees though, we are the ones with first hand experience.
I believe adoption is unethical altogether, unless they are truly last case circumstances, but even then, international adoption is riddled with white saviorism, human trafficking, corruption, and underlying socioeconomic issues at play. White parents should not be adopting Black kids, that’s what I know.
@imaeyen Ibanga thank you for your amazing reporting.
How to sum up what you just said in one sentence. "Muh Ethnocentrism demands we devolve into racial separation and encourage orphans to to without loving homes for those views."
Do the world a favor and just log off.
Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to comment. I hope you'll share this link.
I mean, white parents shouldn’t have to adopt black kids, or rather, kids shouldn’t have to be adopted at all but we live in an imperfect world. I think it would be OK for black parents to raise a white child or that of any other race if they truly loved that child. There would be problems and loss, always, but if there alternative is to grow in the orphanage by themselves or miss out on education, I think the gains of adoption ever so slightly outweigh its losses. But I also realize not everyone would agree because you know, identity is very important. There should be pushback against a savior narrative. I remember I actually told my dad I thought he was noble for adopting, but he was the one who actually destroyed this internalized savior narrative by insisting it wasn’t noble, just something he had done and that he loved me.
@@Stinger913 I understand what you're saying. And I agree that identity is very important. I know we live in an imperfect world. Everyone knows that. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be advocating for better, especially when we KNOW that it's possible. That's what these ladies were doing and what I am doing. Advocating and educating those who have not had the lived experiences. It's not useful, in fact, it's harmful, to shut down people's suggestions with "nothing is perfect".
You said, "I think the gains of adoption ever so slightly outweigh its losses." Well, I know 100 people who would disagree with you, and that's just the thing. It's mostly subjective. But the actual data shows that Black and other non-white children suffer when they are raised without the proper cultural and phenotypical mirrors, and validation, affirmation, and inherent understanding of racial strife in America.
Here's the truth: Black people exist in a different America than white people do. While we may share the same spaces, buildings, streets, and language, Black people experience America differently. And many white people either don't understand this or outright reject it as delusional.
By not allowing a Black child to be raised in a Black household, with the ability to feel safe from the very real AND perceived threat of white supremacy that undergirds our society, their growth will be stunted, they'll struggle socially & mentally, and struggle to escape the anxiety of feeling like an outsider.
These are the experiences of me, Rebecca Carol, Colin Kaepernick, my sister, and so many other adoptees I communicate with daily.
Sure, the world isn't perfect. But we can and must do better. Read my original post again. The "it's either adoption or an orphanage" rhetoric is a myth. There are better alternatives that would help adoptees in the long run.
I am a POC of POC biological parents. Not adopted. But I really wanted my parents to adopt some European and Asian children. I don't see anything wrong with mixed families. I love the idea.