My Mom lives with us, she has delusions every day, it’s EXHAUSTING!! I explain it’s her memory illness that causes this, she’ll ask questions and I’ll explain, she seems to accept the explanations and shortly after she forgets the conversation and her delusions return and We repeat the exact process again. Interesting enough, she does remember she has a memory problem. She gets obsessed with something and focuses on it.
My husband has mild dementia given medication drugs to slow this down but started to have bad dreams and Hallucinations the nurse phoned said how is he I said about the Hallucinations and said she will drop the dose by half he’s not had any since I was pleased I mentioned it We are sad about this but we are coping so far I feel frustrated when he can’t do things he used to do I have to remind myself it’s far worse for him
My mom with dementia is very task-oriented and likes to be 'in-control' even though she hasn't been managing her affairs for a couple of years. Our challenge is that now, she has this recurring delusion that she has another home "exactly like her current home" that she wants to rent out! She brow-beats us often to find out what we should do with the "other place"! We're like, THERE IS NO OTHER PLACE! Her personality unfortunately requires a response. We try to redirect, and I've certainly made the mistake of correcting her, but JEEEZ, it's so exhausting. I've always feared that going along with the delusion was dishonoring or disrespectful to her, but I may just go ahead and tell her that we are putting the 'other place' on the market! GO WITH IT!
It sounds like you need to rewatch the video. Arguing with your mother or correctly is not the solution. Why not ask her what she would like to do with the “other home?” Then guide the conversation from there. Believing Santa Clause is real is okay in many situations.
You have been so helpful. My sister has alcohol induced dementia, rapid onset.. The hardest is not delusion, as much as her constant confabulation. She lacks short term memory, but it is so interesting that she consistently retains all the details of her confabulation.
I work with dementia residents in assisted living.There are a few who get paranoid and have delusions about other resident's behavior.Sometimes I automatically try to inform them of reality, which causes argument.Thank you for reminding me of a better way to handle it.😊
They might genuinely diecern that some patients behaviour is imposing and annoying..nor do they care if other residents have their own problems, all living on top of each other..The carers just do the job..and go home....Shit way to end up in a home really....
My mother said "I think I'll have to call my parents to pick me up and bring me home." I said "the weather is terrible, I don't think they can come today." They have been dead for decades, but she was satisfied. So let's have a coffee? :)
Thank you, I live with and care for my mom. I used to attend a bi-weekly elder care support group but it stopped due to this pandemic. During this shelter in place it has been really challenging with out a support group to recharge my sanity so I am really happy I found your videos and joined the Careblazers community. I also just requested to join your fb group and looking forward to it. This video is exactly what has been happening lately so I really appreciate it and will apply these tips.
This is so very helpful, thank you. It is more upsetting for the other person. It’s ok for us to keep repeating ourselves. Yes, they are trying to make sense of the world. These videos are very important, keep going. 🥊
Thank you for the tips. They will definitely be put into practice, not just by myself, but also my siblings. I am looking forward to hearing your tips on how to deal with the illusions.
My Mum has recently been diagnosed with mixed dementia primarily vascular but with some signs of early alzheimer's as well. With the vascular dementia her decline has been quite rapid & she's currently in hospital awaiting a permanent care placement. She's regularly experiencing delusions, and at first it was hard to know if playing along was the right thing, or if trying to gently correct and re-orientate her was better. I had a feeling that a different response may have been called for each time, depending on what the delusion/content of the delusion was. I was relieved when I spoke to Mum's doctors and nurses at the hospital, and found that my initial hunch had been correct. If my Mum is having a delusion where she thinks she's somewhere else, but is happy with her 'new' surroundings & is talking about all these excursions she's been on (when she hasn't left the hospital ward) then I will play along and agree with her about how lovely everything is, and how great the views are, and what a fun time it sounds like she had when she got to go sight seeing & visit all these nice shops. Or if my Mum is having a delusion that her house has been stripped of all its contents, and they've even taken the walls, and I've very quickly realised she's actually mentally time travelling back to three separate historical memories spaced from 20-40 years apart, then I know there's no point in correcting her and that reassurance & giving her a sense of 'don't worry, we'll work together and get to the bottom of this' is far more beneficial. If; however, it's a case of Mum having a delusion that she's in a different State, doesn't know the area, has become lost, & is talking about wandering along vast stretches of highways desperately trying to get home or find somewhere safe , then I will try to re-orientate her back to time and place by reiterating that she's in 'name of hospital', that the hospital is a safe place, and giving her a simple landmark that she may verbally recognise at least to reassure her that she is in a familiar area (for example: "Mum you're in 'name of suburb' hospital, name of suburb is where 'simple landmark reference' is, you are in a safe place, the people at name of suburb hospital will protect you" - repeat as necessary).
Angela this has happened to me and my brother and sister also. You are not alone. We have been accused of taking things and she has even called the police on my brother. It is really hard.
@@carolinaadler4923 this may not be the best approach but I just get real quite. No use in aguring with her because it's real to them Let her vent. I try not to take it personally, but it hurts.
@@angelaburton230 thank you Angela, unfortunately after years of this my sister engages, she is so exhausted. She is missing something almost everyday and it’s always my sister’s fault. God gives us the strength to deal with this. Thank you.
@@carolinaadler4923 You got it. God is all we have. This is a cruel and slow disease. It not only the patient but the caregivers as well. Prayer for strength and patience during this time. 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you, Yes with my Mother now. Been living with us for past 6 yrs and Boom💥 can’t believe I didn’t see it until now. Thank you . I have God to help but so hard. 🙏🙏🙏🦋
Thank you some priceless tips here on how to deal with delusions. ‘Ignore the words, respond to the emotion - such brilliant advice to keep in mind always, thank you so much! 🙏
The tip to go with the delusion and/or agree with the person is probably the most successful one with my person. Their delusions mostly have to do with people taking stuff away or days of the week. The days of the week is the hardest, because sometimes just agreeing with him doesn't work, but I think sometimes he is forgetting what he or I just said. I have also found that sometimes the delusions are a way to tell me they need something like a drink of water or something, and that usually will make it go away. Sometimes I try singing a song or talk about something he really likes too. I too look forward to the hallucination video. I do sometimes tell the person they are seeing to go away, and that settles it, and keep doing it until they are gone. I also try distractions too, and sometimes just go with it. Is it okay to just ask questions about whatever they are seeing?
I am so sorry I didn't find help like this 25 years ago when I would say my mother first started with this awfull sickness ... because there was nothing to help our family and we were dealing with it blindly all the doctor would say at the beginning was that mum was a little confused that's the term that was used we had zero help ...as the years went by she slowly slowly moved from one stage to another. We would try an correct get angry argue with her @ get no where....noone helped it was a living nightmare especially for my dear father who. Sadly died caring for my mother so I pray people are taught about the beginning stages which are so hard to cope with without knowledge .. we are nearing the end of our journey with dementia we have literally been the crazy leading the demented into the unknown ....my mother is now stage 7 and we pray for a peaceful passing ...it's been tough and I hope anyone going through this gets as much support as possible .... good luck and God bless🙏p
One of the things we do is to continually try to resort to rationality when confronting our loved ones delusions to help us believe we are headed in the right direction, which is typically an incorrect response. It’s a learning process that will be long and difficult with ups and downs, I just need to remind myself that, your videos are helping a lot. Thank you.
If my mom believes she needs to get dressed and get ready for her mom (long deceased) and her father are coming to get us to go on a trip, it is very hard to defuse this by joining in on it. I get what you mean, im still trying to figure out how to deal with these situations. In one way, I am crazy fascinated with how this happens and in another its killing me inside to see it. You feel robbed. Thank you for the Videos.
My mom lives in another state. She calls me all hours of the night to see if I’m on my way to get her. She’s fixated on the delusion that I’m coming to get her.
I've been sole caregiver for my aunt since a severe stroke 11 years ago. She has had delusions increasing in frequency for at least 6 years. Most of her delusions are about prowlers (in the attic, on the roof, around the outside of the house/driveway). This is only compounded by the fact that she was actually stalked by an abusive ex 20+ years ago, so there's a past factual basis for the delusions. The rest are usually related to theft of money (both cash on hand and from her accounts...I can't number the times I packed her into the car and went to the atm to show current balances), groceries (that she ate!), and an obsession with surgical scissors from her nursing career (which she hides in bizarre places because she thinks they will be stolen, followed by the inability to find the scissors and screaming fits/accusations). In the past, I have been the target of everything but her brother is now living with us after a divorce and has become the target (probably because he has a confrontational personality, a tendancy to shout due to hearing loss, and zero idea how to handle her without escalating despite my increasingly direct language). While it's a relief not to automatically be the thief in her delusions, things were actually more peaceful when I was. The sad thing is, I honestly think she is only now showing signs of progressing past the early stages of dementia. My dread of the future is without bounds. I have clearly drawn a line in the sand that is restated each time she has a fit: she can scream, she can wave her hands at me and stomp her feet, but the moment she hits me her world will change. She knows (still) that I suffered violent physical abuse from a stepfather as a teen and I have made it clear that I am an adult and don't have to take it anymore. She knows that she can't stay in her home without help and that nobody else can or will take my place, so if she drives me away she will have to go into care. I have no idea how long she will hold on to that awareness and while I wouldn't abandon her once she was in a nursing home, the guilt I feel about even creating that hard boundary is nearly overwhelming. Knowing that I need not and *should not* tolerate physical abuse on top of her current abusive behavior is no balm for that guilt. (Even if not completely unexpected or under her control, the behavior is still abusive and being extremely aware of her inability to control herself doesn't make that abuse any easier to take or less damaging to me as her target, given my history.) So, for the sake of what remains of my mental health and self esteem after years of this, yes, she will go to a nursing home when she hits me. When, not if. Meanwhile, each blowup makes me more resigned to the eventuality and is a push to keep up on my quiet research for a place where she will be well cared for and treated with as much dignity as possible, where I can simply be a watchful, caring family member and (maybe?) an ally rather than the designated enemy.
I think the most helpful tip is to respond to the emotion by reassurance and not to the accusation by correcting it. Every situation is different though.
My Mom repeats statements about weather. I counted the minutes in between. It is about one to 3 minutes. She stated the temperature this evening 5 times. I said wow that is hot the first 2 times, but then asked if there was any wind, she saw there was and told me about it. When I answer with more questions it seems to move her on to different subjects. Thank you for this video. It is so helpful. I don't feel alone in this.
My mother-in-law is having delusions - a tooth on her denture was broken at the hospital. When asked, she said "some guy got in a fight with me on the street and broke it!" She has advanced alzheimers. She was moved to a nursing facility and today blamed a male aid for fighting with her brusing her (brusing was already there) & breaking her denture - Because she is agitated, combative & delusional with my husband (caregiver) I became reallv angry with her. Its hard to remaining calm- I am grateful I found your videos.
My mom was so convinced a family member had been in her house and stolen jewellery. She wanted me to call the police, she was obsessed with wreaking revenge on the person, she was so filled with hate and loathing for this person and just wouldn't stop going on and on about how much she wanted to hurt this person. Nothing I said or did got her off the subject. 5 weeks later after mirtazapine she has calmed down, but the blood drains out of my soul if anyone mentions jewellery. I've actually found 3 of the items she said were stolen and she yells " get them out of my sight, I don't want to see them" 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
Thank you! Sometimes for me is harder when she asks rather than when she makes a statement, because when she makes a statement I know where her mind is at, I can play the game let’s say.... but when she asks things like: where is everyone else? I’m like: everyone else who? It frustrates me that when people come over she has a great time (and motivates her a lot) but then it’s more confusing ... she isn’t quite clear about who she lives with....
My husband’s delusion is always the same, there are more people in our home, but not in a frightening way. Could be our sons, deceased family members or even pets from long ago. Usually is “where did ??? go?” So at this stage easy to answer without saying he is imagining them.
My mom believes she got radiation poisoning from her microwave and believes everything that is happening with her health is because of it. I did what you said and used this to get her to the doctors and testing for dementia. At first I argued but then I met her in her delusion and it has truly been helpful so thank you!
This video is very helpful. My mother is convinced her parents are still alive (deceased over 25 years) and was insisting the other day she had to call them. She believes she speaks to them daily and constantly mentions having to bring them over to her house to see her flowers, celebrate a holiday. This is extremely difficulty to deal with.
I am interested in hallucinations. I hope I can find that on the website archive . This was very helpful. Now I can understand more what the diff is. Thanks again and again.
Thank you very much for this valuable information. Have you addressed hallucinations yet? I have looked and have not yet found your video on this topic.
Ughhh... My Grandma used to amuse herself during the beginning stage by sewing. She got to where she was leaving scissors, pins, needles everywhere and I was afraid for her safety as well as my grandfather's and my own. I did not respond in an appropriate way, but basically threatened to take away her sewing things if she could not keep from leaving them where somebody could get hurt (there was really no kind of caregiver boot camp at that time to teach me how to deal with issues like this). So whenever she would lose something, she thought I had taken it away from her. She would not be able to find her sewing scissors and thought I had taken them. So she started hiding them when she was finished with them. She would forget where she hid them, so she would be even more sure I had taken them. So next time (I had to buy her more than one new pair to replace these "lost" ones), she would hide them even better than before. I was finding hidden scissors for quite a while after she was no longer interested in sewing. That was a terrible chapter in our dementia journey. 😪
I'm so sorry, Laurie! Trying to figure out how to care for a loved one with dementia is HARD and there aren't a lot of places and people helping families figure it out. You just did the best that you knew how and that's all anyone can do.
Thank you, Dr. Natali! I am thankful that you are there to help people who are where I was then. And as a caregiver-for-hire, I try to help others who are trying to navigate this same minefield.
My poor father regularly has this as we've spoke before it's an absolute nightmare and he's getting worse as well we have tried everything I just doesn't work 3 in the morning being woken up to a man screaming and shouting terrified of bears and all sorts climbing through windows it's just horrible it's never ending it's sadly got to a stage last year he had to go back into care because he was just convinced 24/7 but there were all these horrible things after him
My granddad, remembers episodes from the past and then I tell him who I am he trips and believes we must of time traveled. Then he wants to smoke until he puked so don't argue right just let him smoke till he throws up. I agree with you to a point but sometimes, I just have to say no! And leave the room. Or tell him he just had a dream he did not time travel.
Well I haven't quite decided if it's hallucinations or he's just sleeping real hard... my husband has started walking in his sleep... he also believes we shouldn't pay bills we should just save money... He gets very upset when I pay the bills so I no longer involve him with our bills... I hate being like that but it just saves a lot of grief... I am hoping the patch Works to alleviate some of this... Truly enjoy your talks thank you have a safe and great day.
My dad had lots of serious delusions that eventually could only be addressed by prescription drugs in the psych ward, so when things get so bad there is that option as well.
My wife is "imagining" a feud between her and her 103 year old Mom. She makes up terrible conversations and attitudes about her mom which can't be true since she lives 2000 miles away. When she brings up her mom I just say your mom is trying very hard and is very old... Also I've organized a weekly Friday morning Skype call with her mom which seems to help a bit... I know her mom loves it. Further she has an Aunt that she "talks" to regularly..(died in 1998). Always has newsy and upbeat stories about Aunt Maggie... And she has conversations with hear dead father. She knows he's in heaven and yet maintains contact. Confabulation is a lifestyle around here
I just wrote a comment (book) to today's teaching about our situation. Condensed : my mom is bedridden and as example recently she and my sister didn't sleep for 3 days, my mother DEMANDING she get her out of bed to deliver mail. (Her 31 career) 20 yrs ago. All Jospice nurse says is give her more Ativan and Haldol. We can't go with delusion when she is demanding things we can't do even though it usually does nothing. Help or read today's longer comment.
I am early in this journey with my mother and I have embraced all the advice and tips in this video. I tell her I love her. I agree with her and answer with a super short response or just with an okay. Early on, Trump and the Russians were outside her window every night. Not sure if that was delusion or hallucinations. She has since moved on to equally strange scenarios.
My 97 year old mom is in a memory care home. My dead father talks to her through her wall. He used to come stay overnight but now he just sings and talks through her wall. She thinks my brother is her father and her stuffed animal is very much alive. So far none of this is frightening to her. She does get annoyed with my father for not giving her any money. She is constantly wanting to pack since she is moving back to Shanghai, where she grew up. I never correct her. When she gets annoyed with her caregiver or the food, I just redirect. I live 2 states away so I only visit through phone calls.
My mother thinks there is water running down the walls and on to the floor and will flood the house. I just tell her not to worry and that its only light reflections. I do go and check the wall first and then explain that there is nothing to worry about. After assuring her several times she stops. Another one that she does is to call out when in bed claiming I have forgotten to take her shoes off. I just tell her her feet must hurt and show her her shoes by her bed
My mother in law Hallucinates..sees children animals..talks continually..not making any sense..very few times now when she knows what’s going on around her...always sewing in her sleep ..picking lent or insects off her clothes..won’t eat..when being fed..constantly wants to walk and getting into things..she has to be watched 24/7..it’s wearing her husband out 88 yrs old..she fell into a dresser had to have her ligaments repaired..now in nursing home for therapy..this is scary..
My mom suffers from paranoias and delusions. I live 1300 miles away from her in a different state. She thinks my husband is stealing from her and going into her home. She has also said that he is trying to kill her by causing her stress of not being able to find things. When I talk to her on the phone, I have joined into the delusion but then she says she is going to call the police and make a report on him. During our conservatorship hearing her attorney included this delusion in her court paperwork and I had to prove that my husband was not driving 1300 miles multiple times a week to break into her home. This was so upsetting that my husband was actually named as her antagonizer and her attorney went along with her delusion. I cannot seem to calm her down ever regarding this. I would love some help with this.
The person with this illness lives in his/her own world....I've been in this 17 years so far due to a traumatic brain injury....he wants to ride his motorcycle and drive off...he's left side paralyzed and cannot walk ....it is sad and exhausting agreeing and being in his world I also know it's the kind thing to do...
my grandmothers delusions lately have been with the head doctor of the full time wing at the nursing home that he wants to marry her and put her on a plane she refuses to eat the food he brings to her. she thinks everyone that comes into the room (nurses) is sent by him to do his dirty work. she refused to eat her dinner Friday till I reassured and I started to cut the chicken and sweet potato and fed it to her and she ate most of the food besides a little bit of veg and gave her the drinks but will she go back to not eating and putting up a fight after im gone I cannot be there every day. I work a lot of the time. this is tough
My father has started telling people his cat was born in 1974, and is 40 years old. He has been saying this for the last few months. She was actually born in 2004 and is 17 or 18, which my father used to know. Is this a delusion, or is it something else? Most of the delusions you describe seem more hurtful - such as accusations of stealing.
my mother thinks my son steals from her and she hates him since she believes that he takes all of the stuff she misplaces and it really bothers me and him. any advice?
I work in an old peoples home and one resident is scared often but what she's scared of isn't there so we can't do anything. I think of it like imagine the most scary thing you can. It's over there you know it's not real, they don't saying it's there is like saying that that photo on the table isn't really it's there I can see it. What their seeing is real to them
My friend who is with me everyday, thinks everyone has been looking at her money, is stealing from her, she thinks her husband has had an affair. She thinks he hides her things, she complains to her cosmetics lady that her products are terrible, but she has pulled all the make up apart. She talks all the time about horrible her husband is, but he is just stressed and exhausted, she is very nasty. She had a personality disorder before (undiagnosed) She talks constantly about how awful he is to everyone, even strangers in the street. I am constantly agreeing with her, but it's hard, as she tells him I agree with her, so exhausting. I lost it a bit last week, and stuck up for her husband, she threw a fit. She is also spending a huge amount, but it's her money, so he just true to warn her she will have less money, but she this be wants it for himself. Wow it only gets worse by the day!!!!
This is heart breaking. Dad believes my brother beat him up, which never happened. I’ve tried to just go with it... saying my brothers getting help. I don’t know if that helps. What’s so awful, is dad is nasty , nasty and says horrible things about my brother.... his own son. My dad has become an ugly human. 😞
I'm so sorry. In a situation like this, Careblazers have better luck ignoring the exact words your dad is saying and just responding with general comments like, I love you dad. Let's watch TV dad. Would you like a snack, dad? and so on. It can be too heartbreaking to go along with delusions that are so hateful toward other family members. Sending strength!
I don’t want to give advice. But to agree with my dad in this situation (which is similar) hurts me so I can’t agree, I feel sometimes we have to put ourselves and our family first. That was a big struggle. Her advice to “divert attention” makes sense.
I’m in a similar but different situation. My dad is very angry at my sister. I’ve stopped trying to argue with him about his complaint against her, which is a warped, delusional version of the reality, but instead try to remind him that my sister cares about him and by her lights, is doing what she thinks is right. I don’t tell him his complaint against her is wrong (which just gets him riled up), but I do tell him their conflict is based on a difference of opinion. I don’t tell him his opinion is wrong! I’m just trying to de-escalate his rage so we can talk about other things. One thing is really hard, though, and that’s my father’s second wife. She encourages his delusions and anger against my sister (and myself and my other siblings).
What if your loved one with dementia does not enjoy any activity at all? He is absolutely uncomfortable and upset pretty much all day long… Getting worse and worse as the day goes on. And every day it’s the same thing.
My 66 year old wife was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s. She has been scammed on-line for thousands of dollars. Her delusions is that the scammer is an old friend and that he will repay her all the money she gave him. Every effort we make to stop the scam such as closing bank accounts and credit cards infuriates her. All of our efforts to protect her makes her more angry. We have resorted to court ordered guardianship of her financial assets.
Ontario has multiple locations called Regional Geriatric Programs (RGPs) for folks with dementia or aging related diseases and assessments. They are fully OHIP covered. What city are you in, or near?
Hello. Awesome. Help. What specialty doctor will yield mother's《83》 best Dg? PCP: 25mg Seroquel.😳 Recommended visual hallucinations and physical. Headed 2 Chicago asap.
So if my loved one accuses me of stealing her expensive painting (what really happened to it, I don't know) I should tell her not to worry, yes I stole it, and then I should reassure her that I will bring it back? Then what do I say to them when the police show up at my door, and my loved one is there and tells them that I admitted stealing it. Last time something like this happened I told the police my loved one has dementia, and has delusions, but they arrested me anyway. I told them well yes, I admitted stealing it, to her, not to you, because someone on youtube told me to admit it, even though I didn't actually steal it. That was more complicated than they were able to understand. Thank goodness my loved one couldn't find t the documents that showed when she bought the painting and how much she paid for it. So the DA dropped the case. But I had to spend the weekend in jail, and pay $600 to a lawyer.
My wife has delusions hallucinations and I tried to tell her that I'm here nobody will hurt you but she doesn't stop she keeps on and on don't know what to do what to say if I agree with her it doesn't work sometime I just walk away then she said I don't care.
If you have tried to calm her and redirect her and nothing is working, you can talk to her PCP about her symptoms as then medications may be suggested.
Careblazers: dementia care heroes thank you for your reply I did take her to the Dr and she got medication 💊 for that, from 25 mg she went up to 50 mg. Just two days ago will see if this change of dosage will help she needs to go back in 4 weeks
I look after my elderly neighbour with vascular and Alzheimer's. She used to have delusional episodes, where she thought she had travelled away for the weekend for a wedding or similar. Last year we took dairy out of her diet after keeping a food and symptoms diary to see if it would make a difference. She's a lot less confused and delusional now. Not recommended for everyone, but for her it made a difference. She went from saying 'I don't know if I'm coming or going' all the time to 'Do you know what? I think l'm getting better.' And that was the end of that. She then went on Donepezil tablets. There was an improvement but also a set back like someone was giving her dairy again. Again she started to say 'I don't know if I'm coming or going'. Turns out the tablet form contained low dose lactose. She's now on the liquid form without the milk and does much much better again.
I’m currently dealing with my MIL who has delusions and hallucinations. She is in assisted living. The challenge I have is that she sometimes knows she is “off” but doesn’t understand what is happening. She’ll say, “I’m having a spell” and gets fearful. She’s forgetting more and more words. We have different doctors for her but she wants to go only to her specialist. Any suggestions on how I can avoid a fight but help her understand we need to keep the GP? She will make statements and/or create a crying scene by shouting, “I want Dr. A but Sara is forcing me to see Dr. B and that this not what I want. If you don’t let me go see Dr. A, then take me to the hospital because something hurts.” BTW the hospital scene exacerbates the delusion. Uuughhh!
HI, This is Trisha. Dr. Natali's social media manager. I'm sorry to hear about your situation;. Here is a RUclips video she made that I hope can help you with your situation. 💖ruclips.net/video/x_-tTOSL_UM/видео.html
HI , This is Trisha. Dr. Natali's social media manager. I'm sorry to hear about your situation; many dementia caregivers experience similar challenges. She is hosting a free behavior class coming up soon where she talks about how to successfully respond to challenging situations like this. Would you like me to send you the link so you can sign up and save your free spot?
Same. My loved one has delusions, and visionary plus auditory hallucinations. It’s very very difficult. This journey of caring for our loved one has made me truly terrified of growing old. Is is normal to be terrified of being the one with dementia in the future? I’ve often thought I’d rather end it at the first sign of dementia when I grow older, and then I realise how silly and selfish that it, then I flip back and forth with the thoughts. It’s truly terrifying. I’m currently 30.
My husband is 84, and I am 77, and I fear coming down with this disease, no one would be able to help me, everyone has to work to make their living, it's really difficult to know what to do, and how to get help. His dementia is getting worse by the day.
Once they start defecation on the floor,not knowing who any one is,becoming violent there is no help any more but medication,restraints and lock down.They are dead already do not put yourself or your children through this!!! The violence and abuse is not to be tolerated don't even feel bad. If it was not dementia it would be criminal behavior.A danger to themselves or others is pretty clear.
Something we are seeing is that for short periods my mom can present very normal, especially if the person she is speaking too has a lot of value to her, such as our out of town sisters. Because she does this, they think those of us who are caregiving are exaggerating how bad things have become for her, and also how exhausting it is to care for her 24/7. If they come for a short visit even, her behavior can improve drastically, then revert the minute they are gone. Sometimes we have even wondered if my mom isn’t playing us for fools. I wonder if others have this happen?
Sounds just like my mom, I often think she's playing me! She hates going to her bedroom she's afraid she will be left there,she's unable to get in and out of bed by herself. I have to tell her that I will be over to get her up or put her to bed over and over every day, sometimes 4 times in an hour, it's exhausting.
Follow up: We discovered the best way to make others aware…we both took 8 days off at the same time and required our out of town sisters to come take over her 24/7 care for the full break. By evening of Day One, they were calling for advice. By the end of Day Four, they were researching care facilities. When we all got together on Day Nine, they looked haggard and we knew they now understood.
We care for my grandma with dementia. In the course of 4 hours I am her grandchild to a paid person to care for her. She often has delusions. It's just hard to redirect or distract when she has little to no hearing.
My husband accused me of having an affair with our son in law. He was fully convinced he made such a case for himself it was so hurtful. We didn't have a dementia diagnosis at the time. He has recently been diagnosed with FTD but we are going for a DTaT scan soon to see what's going on. He was also diagnosed with Parkinson's but Dr feel now that maybe a lewy body type dementia..... Could this be so???? I'm so scared and frightened he suffers also from Bipolar for the past 40 years.
Is it possible that coughing fits could be part of the sundowners? This usually starts occuring regularly as the early evening begins. Every kind of Dr has seen her and nothing is a firm diagnosis. This continues well into the very early morning 3am or more.
My lo has delusions she has more dogs then she really has. So she constantly thinks she lost or someone took her dog. She also sees a stranger looking at her in the mirror. Help
My mother has delusions quite often. She accuses me of stealing, misplacing her stuff, even sleeping with lots of men. The worst thing is she would accuse me of hurting our little dog, a Yorkshire Terrier, which I love dearly. So when she accuses me of beating him or scolding him or doing bad things to him, I don’t know how to respond. I know it’s futile trying to tell her that I would never hurt our dog but she is convinced that I do things to hurt him, which I don’t know how to respond because I cannot agree with her. She also has hallucinations, she sees people, ghosts, strange things or objects, she hears people talking or singing and people repeating what she’s saying which gets her so agitated that she would shout back, nonstop! Oh, and she smells things too, especially food, she always as if I were cooking late at night! I sometimes want to run away and never come back. I’m a wreck!
Angela Williams o yes I relate to that my wife is the same way stealing lying trying to here her the ex was a better man better hosbend it very sad 😢 I do feel very sorry for her it's a terrible disease when she doesn't know sometime how I'm seeing people very very sad I praye for you and everyone how is a caregiver I know it's not easy.
Its difficult especially now that mom is legally blind. Her activities are so limited because of the low vision. How to change a delusional person who is constantly negative. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
HI Aimee, This is Trisha. Dr. Natali's social media manager. I'm sorry to hear about your situation; many dementia caregivers experience similar challenges. She is hosting a free behavior class coming up soon where she talks about how to successfully respond to challenging situations like this. Would you like me to send you the link so you can sign up and save your free spot?
We join in the delusion regularly, it works very well with our Mom, she feels calm and validated. I still don't like lying to my Mom, but you're dealing with a delusion, not reality.
My 101 year old mother who i care for . I'm a 66 year old man with my own health problems won't stop talking about all her dead mom and dad and brother and sister's she come from a family of 12 . and only her and her brother are left . but she thinks her family talks to her and visits everyday . it drive me nuts then she gets on the phone trying to call them or calling other people and trying to find them ..
My daughter has Down syndrome and is not doing well mentally. Her psychiatrist has said more than once how a person with a low IQ could get dementia at an early age. She is 25. Something is definitely wrong with her. We have tried many different meds over the last three years under Drs care. I’m starting to wonder if she has or is getting dementia??? Any thoughts or information on this. It would be so appreciated. This has been a very hard journey- the last three years.
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Im so glad to have careblazer to get some help. Being a caregiver is overwhelming but it helps to know I'm not alone
My sister and I are in the same boat. You’re definitely not alone, and I hope things are going ok for you.
Thank you so very much for making these videos and making them freely available to the public.
has taught me a lot on how to help my husband, he has delusions, and hallucinations
My Mom lives with us, she has delusions every day, it’s EXHAUSTING!!
I explain it’s her memory illness that causes this, she’ll ask questions and I’ll explain, she seems to accept the explanations and shortly after she forgets the conversation and her delusions return and We repeat the exact process again.
Interesting enough, she does remember she has a memory problem.
She gets obsessed with something and focuses on it.
Use DARE Don't Argue, Reason or Explain.....Keep watching videos on the subject and you'll find a lot of helpful support!
Exact same problem here. I’ll try😩
Exactly the same with my mom
My husband has mild dementia given medication drugs to slow this down but started to have bad dreams and Hallucinations the nurse phoned said how is he I said about the Hallucinations and said she will drop the dose by half he’s not had any since I was pleased I mentioned it We are sad about this but we are coping so far I feel frustrated when he can’t do things he used to do I have to remind myself it’s far worse for him
Me as well!@@mangot589
My mom with dementia is very task-oriented and likes to be 'in-control' even though she hasn't been managing her affairs for a couple of years. Our challenge is that now, she has this recurring delusion that she has another home "exactly like her current home" that she wants to rent out! She brow-beats us often to find out what we should do with the "other place"! We're like, THERE IS NO OTHER PLACE! Her personality unfortunately requires a response. We try to redirect, and I've certainly made the mistake of correcting her, but JEEEZ, it's so exhausting. I've always feared that going along with the delusion was dishonoring or disrespectful to her, but I may just go ahead and tell her that we are putting the 'other place' on the market! GO WITH IT!
this is exactly what I'm experiencing right now it's crazy and I don't know how to manage them
It sounds like you need to rewatch the video. Arguing with your mother or correctly is not the solution. Why not ask her what she would like to do with the “other home?” Then guide the conversation from there. Believing Santa Clause is real is okay in many situations.
You have been so helpful. My sister has alcohol induced dementia, rapid onset.. The hardest is not delusion, as much as her constant confabulation. She lacks short term memory, but it is so interesting that she consistently retains all the details of her confabulation.
I work with dementia residents in assisted living.There are a few who get paranoid and have delusions about other resident's behavior.Sometimes I automatically try to inform them of reality, which causes argument.Thank you for reminding me of a better way to handle it.😊
They might genuinely diecern that some patients behaviour is imposing and annoying..nor do they care if other residents have their own problems, all living on top of each other..The carers just do the job..and go home....Shit way to end up in a home really....
The best way sometimes is just get involved!
"Yehp thats right! When I find them...."
Enjoy it if its possible!
My mother said "I think I'll have to call my parents to pick me up and bring me home." I said "the weather is terrible, I don't think they can come today." They have been dead for decades, but she was satisfied. So let's have a coffee? :)
Thank you, I live with and care for my mom. I used to attend a bi-weekly elder care support group but it stopped due to this pandemic. During this shelter in place it has been really challenging with out a support group to recharge my sanity so I am really happy I found your videos and joined the Careblazers community. I also just requested to join your fb group and looking forward to it.
This video is exactly what has been happening lately so I really appreciate it and will apply these tips.
This is so very helpful, thank you. It is more upsetting for the other person. It’s ok for us to keep repeating ourselves. Yes, they are trying to make sense of the world. These videos are very important, keep going. 🥊
Thank you for the tips. They will definitely be put into practice, not just by myself, but also my siblings. I am looking forward to hearing your tips on how to deal with the illusions.
I hope they help!
My Mum has recently been diagnosed with mixed dementia primarily vascular but with some signs of early alzheimer's as well. With the vascular dementia her decline has been quite rapid & she's currently in hospital awaiting a permanent care placement. She's regularly experiencing delusions, and at first it was hard to know if playing along was the right thing, or if trying to gently correct and re-orientate her was better. I had a feeling that a different response may have been called for each time, depending on what the delusion/content of the delusion was. I was relieved when I spoke to Mum's doctors and nurses at the hospital, and found that my initial hunch had been correct.
If my Mum is having a delusion where she thinks she's somewhere else, but is happy with her 'new' surroundings & is talking about all these excursions she's been on (when she hasn't left the hospital ward) then I will play along and agree with her about how lovely everything is, and how great the views are, and what a fun time it sounds like she had when she got to go sight seeing & visit all these nice shops. Or if my Mum is having a delusion that her house has been stripped of all its contents, and they've even taken the walls, and I've very quickly realised she's actually mentally time travelling back to three separate historical memories spaced from 20-40 years apart, then I know there's no point in correcting her and that reassurance & giving her a sense of 'don't worry, we'll work together and get to the bottom of this' is far more beneficial.
If; however, it's a case of Mum having a delusion that she's in a different State, doesn't know the area, has become lost, & is talking about wandering along vast stretches of highways desperately trying to get home or find somewhere safe , then I will try to re-orientate her back to time and place by reiterating that she's in 'name of hospital', that the hospital is a safe place, and giving her a simple landmark that she may verbally recognise at least to reassure her that she is in a familiar area (for example: "Mum you're in 'name of suburb' hospital, name of suburb is where 'simple landmark reference' is, you are in a safe place, the people at name of suburb hospital will protect you" - repeat as necessary).
Thank you. I needed this today. My mom accused me of stealing her money. She became really aggressive and wanted to call the police.
Angela this has happened to me and my brother and sister also. You are not alone. We have been accused of taking things and she has even called the police on my brother. It is really hard.
My sister experienced the same with our mother, it’s constant.
How do you handle it?
@@carolinaadler4923 this may not be the best approach but I just get real quite. No use in aguring with her because it's real to them Let her vent. I try not to take it personally, but it hurts.
@@angelaburton230 thank you Angela, unfortunately after years of this my sister engages, she is so exhausted. She is missing something almost everyday and it’s always my sister’s fault.
God gives us the strength to deal with this.
Thank you.
@@carolinaadler4923 You got it. God is all we have. This is a cruel and slow disease. It not only the patient but the caregivers as well. Prayer for strength and patience during this time. 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you! Looking forward to the one on hallucinations as well. My Mom has both.
Having both is common! I'll try to get that video together in the coming months.
Same. My loved one has delusions, and visionary plus auditory hallucinations. It’s very very difficult.
Thank you, Yes with my Mother now. Been living with us for past 6 yrs and Boom💥 can’t believe I didn’t see it until now. Thank you . I have God to help but so hard. 🙏🙏🙏🦋
Thank you some priceless tips here on how to deal with delusions. ‘Ignore the words, respond to the emotion - such brilliant advice to keep in mind always, thank you so much! 🙏
The tip to go with the delusion and/or agree with the person is probably the most successful one with my person. Their delusions mostly have to do with people taking stuff away or days of the week. The days of the week is the hardest, because sometimes just agreeing with him doesn't work, but I think sometimes he is forgetting what he or I just said.
I have also found that sometimes the delusions are a way to tell me they need something like a drink of water or something, and that usually will make it go away. Sometimes I try singing a song or talk about something he really likes too.
I too look forward to the hallucination video. I do sometimes tell the person they are seeing to go away, and that settles it, and keep doing it until they are gone. I also try distractions too, and sometimes just go with it. Is it okay to just ask questions about whatever they are seeing?
I am so sorry I didn't find help like this 25 years ago when I would say my mother first started with this awfull sickness ... because there was nothing to help our family and we were dealing with it blindly all the doctor would say at the beginning was that mum was a little confused that's the term that was used we had zero help ...as the years went by she slowly slowly moved from one stage to another. We would try an correct get angry argue with her @ get no where....noone helped it was a living nightmare especially for my dear father who. Sadly died caring for my mother so I pray people are taught about the beginning stages which are so hard to cope with without knowledge .. we are nearing the end of our journey with dementia we have literally been the crazy leading the demented into the unknown ....my mother is now stage 7 and we pray for a peaceful passing ...it's been tough and I hope anyone going through this gets as much support as possible .... good luck and God bless🙏p
One of the things we do is to continually try to resort to rationality when confronting our loved ones delusions to help us believe we are headed in the right direction, which is typically an incorrect response. It’s a learning process that will be long and difficult with ups and downs, I just need to remind myself that, your videos are helping a lot. Thank you.
Thank you! This is exactly what I go through with my mother!
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I hope this video helps with ways to respond to her when she has delusions.
Thank you so very much ! Just in time to help me . You were God sent .
If my mom believes she needs to get dressed and get ready for her mom (long deceased) and her father are coming to get us to go on a trip, it is very hard to defuse this by joining in on it. I get what you mean, im still trying to figure out how to deal with these situations. In one way, I am crazy fascinated with how this happens and in another its killing me inside to see it. You feel robbed. Thank you for the Videos.
Screw Tape I share your sentiments with you. I am working with a Dementia friiend now. Its a very hard life.
@@bettybella2417 i
My mom lives in another state. She calls me all hours of the night to see if I’m on my way to get her. She’s fixated on the delusion that I’m coming to get her.
I've been sole caregiver for my aunt since a severe stroke 11 years ago. She has had delusions increasing in frequency for at least 6 years.
Most of her delusions are about prowlers (in the attic, on the roof, around the outside of the house/driveway). This is only compounded by the fact that she was actually stalked by an abusive ex 20+ years ago, so there's a past factual basis for the delusions.
The rest are usually related to theft of money (both cash on hand and from her accounts...I can't number the times I packed her into the car and went to the atm to show current balances), groceries (that she ate!), and an obsession with surgical scissors from her nursing career (which she hides in bizarre places because she thinks they will be stolen, followed by the inability to find the scissors and screaming fits/accusations).
In the past, I have been the target of everything but her brother is now living with us after a divorce and has become the target (probably because he has a confrontational personality, a tendancy to shout due to hearing loss, and zero idea how to handle her without escalating despite my increasingly direct language).
While it's a relief not to automatically be the thief in her delusions, things were actually more peaceful when I was. The sad thing is, I honestly think she is only now showing signs of progressing past the early stages of dementia. My dread of the future is without bounds.
I have clearly drawn a line in the sand that is restated each time she has a fit: she can scream, she can wave her hands at me and stomp her feet, but the moment she hits me her world will change. She knows (still) that I suffered violent physical abuse from a stepfather as a teen and I have made it clear that I am an adult and don't have to take it anymore. She knows that she can't stay in her home without help and that nobody else can or will take my place, so if she drives me away she will have to go into care.
I have no idea how long she will hold on to that awareness and while I wouldn't abandon her once she was in a nursing home, the guilt I feel about even creating that hard boundary is nearly overwhelming. Knowing that I need not and *should not* tolerate physical abuse on top of her current abusive behavior is no balm for that guilt.
(Even if not completely unexpected or under her control, the behavior is still abusive and being extremely aware of her inability to control herself doesn't make that abuse any easier to take or less damaging to me as her target, given my history.)
So, for the sake of what remains of my mental health and self esteem after years of this, yes, she will go to a nursing home when she hits me. When, not if. Meanwhile, each blowup makes me more resigned to the eventuality and is a push to keep up on my quiet research for a place where she will be well cared for and treated with as much dignity as possible, where I can simply be a watchful, caring family member and (maybe?) an ally rather than the designated enemy.
I think the most helpful tip is to respond to the emotion by reassurance and not to the accusation by correcting it. Every situation is different though.
YESSS! That is a wonderful way to respond! Keep up the great work!
My Mom repeats statements about weather. I counted the minutes in between. It is about one to 3 minutes. She stated the temperature this evening 5 times. I said wow that is hot the first 2 times, but then asked if there was any wind, she saw there was and told me about it. When I answer with more questions it seems to move her on to different subjects. Thank you for this video. It is so helpful. I don't feel alone in this.
Thank you so much for the tips. I know this is going to make a difference. God Bless.
My mother-in-law is having delusions - a tooth on her denture was broken at the hospital. When asked, she said "some guy got in a fight with me on the street and broke it!" She has advanced alzheimers. She was moved to a nursing facility and today blamed a male aid for fighting with her brusing her (brusing was already there) & breaking her denture - Because she is agitated, combative & delusional with my husband (caregiver) I became reallv angry with her. Its hard to remaining calm- I am grateful I found your videos.
My mom was so convinced a family member had been in her house and stolen jewellery. She wanted me to call the police, she was obsessed with wreaking revenge on the person, she was so filled with hate and loathing for this person and just wouldn't stop going on and on about how much she wanted to hurt this person. Nothing I said or did got her off the subject. 5 weeks later after mirtazapine she has calmed down, but the blood drains out of my soul if anyone mentions jewellery. I've actually found 3 of the items she said were stolen and she yells " get them out of my sight, I don't want to see them" 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
Thank you! Sometimes for me is harder when she asks rather than when she makes a statement, because when she makes a statement I know where her mind is at, I can play the game let’s say.... but when she asks things like: where is everyone else?
I’m like: everyone else who?
It frustrates me that when people come over she has a great time (and motivates her a lot) but then it’s more confusing ... she isn’t quite clear about who she lives with....
I just wanted to say thank you. I just started watching your video l have to say they helped me a lot.
Thanks so much for your so helpful videos!
This message was very helpful ! Thank you.
My husband’s delusion is always the same, there are more people in our home, but not in a frightening way. Could be our sons, deceased family members or even pets from long ago. Usually is “where did ??? go?” So at this stage easy to answer without saying he is imagining them.
Thanks for the information.
My mom believes she got radiation poisoning from her microwave and believes everything that is happening with her health is because of it. I did what you said and used this to get her to the doctors and testing for dementia. At first I argued but then I met her in her delusion and it has truly been helpful so thank you!
This video is very helpful. My mother is convinced her parents are still alive (deceased over 25 years) and was insisting the other day she had to call them. She believes she speaks to them daily and constantly mentions having to bring them over to her house to see her flowers, celebrate a holiday. This is extremely difficulty to deal with.
Thankyou, I'm glad you find it helpful!
No one can stay calm and loving in the face of this, especially if your relationship was never good in better times.
Thanks for posting! I had a family member that thought snakes were under the bed.
I am interested in hallucinations. I hope I can find that on the website archive . This was very helpful. Now I can understand more what the diff is. Thanks again and again.
Here you go: ruclips.net/video/y1YDut5uBcc/видео.html
Thank you very much for this valuable information. Have you addressed hallucinations yet? I have looked and have not yet found your video on this topic.
This is so helpful. Thank you Dr.
Ughhh... My Grandma used to amuse herself during the beginning stage by sewing. She got to where she was leaving scissors, pins, needles everywhere and I was afraid for her safety as well as my grandfather's and my own. I did not respond in an appropriate way, but basically threatened to take away her sewing things if she could not keep from leaving them where somebody could get hurt (there was really no kind of caregiver boot camp at that time to teach me how to deal with issues like this). So whenever she would lose something, she thought I had taken it away from her. She would not be able to find her sewing scissors and thought I had taken them. So she started hiding them when she was finished with them. She would forget where she hid them, so she would be even more sure I had taken them. So next time (I had to buy her more than one new pair to replace these "lost" ones), she would hide them even better than before. I was finding hidden scissors for quite a while after she was no longer interested in sewing. That was a terrible chapter in our dementia journey. 😪
I'm so sorry, Laurie! Trying to figure out how to care for a loved one with dementia is HARD and there aren't a lot of places and people helping families figure it out. You just did the best that you knew how and that's all anyone can do.
Thank you, Dr. Natali! I am thankful that you are there to help people who are where I was then. And as a caregiver-for-hire, I try to help others who are trying to navigate this same minefield.
I know i'am not allone as a caregiver, those video's truely help me .
My poor father regularly has this as we've spoke before it's an absolute nightmare and he's getting worse as well we have tried everything I just doesn't work 3 in the morning being woken up to a man screaming and shouting terrified of bears and all sorts climbing through windows it's just horrible it's never ending it's sadly got to a stage last year he had to go back into care because he was just convinced 24/7 but there were all these horrible things after him
I'm so sorry to hear about your father :( that sounds horrible...for him and for the family unable to calm/help him.
OK..you are now my hero.... I've been dealing with "who stole my clementines"
My granddad, remembers episodes from the past and then I tell him who I am he trips and believes we must of time traveled. Then he wants to smoke until he puked so don't argue right just let him smoke till he throws up. I agree with you to a point but sometimes, I just have to say no! And leave the room. Or tell him he just had a dream he did not time travel.
Well I haven't quite decided if it's hallucinations or he's just sleeping real hard... my husband has started walking in his sleep... he also believes we shouldn't pay bills we should just save money... He gets very upset when I pay the bills so I no longer involve him with our bills... I hate being like that but it just saves a lot of grief... I am hoping the patch Works to alleviate some of this... Truly enjoy your talks thank you have a safe and great day.
Thanks!
Thank you so much. I hope the video helps. 💖
It really opened my eyes. Thank you so very much for what you do.💗
My dad had lots of serious delusions that eventually could only be addressed by prescription drugs in the psych ward, so when things get so bad there is that option as well.
Thanks for sharing, Paul. I'm glad the medications worked for your dad.
My wife is "imagining" a feud between her and her 103 year old Mom. She makes up terrible conversations and attitudes about her mom which can't be true since she lives 2000 miles away. When she brings up her mom I just say your mom is trying very hard and is very old... Also I've organized a weekly Friday morning Skype call with her mom which seems to help a bit... I know her mom loves it. Further she has an Aunt that she "talks" to regularly..(died in 1998). Always has newsy and upbeat stories about Aunt Maggie... And she has conversations with hear dead father. She knows he's in heaven and yet maintains contact. Confabulation is a lifestyle around here
I just wrote a comment (book) to today's teaching about our situation. Condensed : my mom is bedridden and as example recently she and my sister didn't sleep for 3 days, my mother DEMANDING she get her out of bed to deliver mail. (Her 31 career) 20 yrs ago. All Jospice nurse says is give her more Ativan and Haldol. We can't go with delusion when she is demanding things we can't do even though it usually does nothing. Help or read today's longer comment.
For me today is 12/28/21.
So much easier said than done. But I appreciate the help. But for my mom happens almost every night. She wakes me up in the middle of the night.
I am early in this journey with my mother and I have embraced all the advice and tips in this video. I tell her I love her. I agree with her and answer with a super short response or just with an okay. Early on, Trump and the Russians were outside her window every night. Not sure if that was delusion or hallucinations. She has since moved on to equally strange scenarios.
It's pretty strange what the brain can do. It sounds like you are doing a great job at caring for your mother even though it's difficult.
My 97 year old mom is in a memory care home. My dead father talks to her through her wall. He used to come stay overnight but now he just sings and talks through her wall. She thinks my brother is her father and her stuffed animal is very much alive. So far none of this is frightening to her. She does get annoyed with my father for not giving her any money. She is constantly wanting to pack since she is moving back to Shanghai, where she grew up. I never correct her. When she gets annoyed with her caregiver or the food, I just redirect. I live 2 states away so I only visit through phone calls.
My mother thinks there is water running down the walls and on to the floor and will flood the house. I just tell her not to worry and that its only light reflections. I do go and check the wall first and then explain that there is nothing to worry about. After assuring her several times she stops. Another one that she does is to call out when in bed claiming I have forgotten to take her shoes off. I just tell her her feet must hurt and show her her shoes by her bed
Very enlightening and helpful. Is it the same as hallucinations.
Thank you so much!
Ty for making these videos 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
thankyou for tour advice will try some are sort of doing some of them
I been thought all of this with my mother
My mother in law Hallucinates..sees children animals..talks continually..not making any sense..very few times now when she knows what’s going on around her...always sewing in her sleep ..picking lent or insects off her clothes..won’t eat..when being fed..constantly wants to walk and getting into things..she has to be watched 24/7..it’s wearing her husband out 88 yrs old..she fell into a dresser had to have her ligaments repaired..now in nursing home for therapy..this is scary..
My mom suffers from paranoias and delusions. I live 1300 miles away from her in a different state. She thinks my husband is stealing from her and going into her home. She has also said that he is trying to kill her by causing her stress of not being able to find things. When I talk to her on the phone, I have joined into the delusion but then she says she is going to call the police and make a report on him. During our conservatorship hearing her attorney included this delusion in her court paperwork and I had to prove that my husband was not driving 1300 miles multiple times a week to break into her home. This was so upsetting that my husband was actually named as her antagonizer and her attorney went along with her delusion. I cannot seem to calm her down ever regarding this. I would love some help with this.
The person with this illness lives in his/her own world....I've been in this 17 years so far due to a traumatic brain injury....he wants to ride his motorcycle and drive off...he's left side paralyzed and cannot walk ....it is sad and exhausting agreeing and being in his world I also know it's the kind thing to do...
This has been very helpful. Thank you
I want to know more about paranoia with FTD
my grandmothers delusions lately have been with the head doctor of the full time wing at the nursing home that he wants to marry her and put her on a plane she refuses to eat the food he brings to her. she thinks everyone that comes into the room (nurses) is sent by him to do his dirty work. she refused to eat her dinner Friday till I reassured and I started to cut the chicken and sweet potato and fed it to her and she ate most of the food besides a little bit of veg and gave her the drinks but will she go back to not eating and putting up a fight after im gone I cannot be there every day. I work a lot of the time. this is tough
Smelling something that isn't there is crazy ... happens as a epilepsy symptome pretty often to me since childhood.
My father has started telling people his cat was born in 1974, and is 40 years old. He has been saying this for the last few months. She was actually born in 2004 and is 17 or 18, which my father used to know. Is this a delusion, or is it something else? Most of the delusions you describe seem more hurtful - such as accusations of stealing.
my mother thinks my son steals from her and she hates him since she believes that he takes all of the stuff she misplaces and it really bothers me and him. any advice?
I work in an old peoples home and one resident is scared often but what she's scared of isn't there so we can't do anything. I think of it like imagine the most scary thing you can. It's over there you know it's not real, they don't saying it's there is like saying that that photo on the table isn't really it's there I can see it. What their seeing is real to them
My friend who is with me everyday, thinks everyone has been looking at her money, is stealing from her, she thinks her husband has had an affair. She thinks he hides her things, she complains to her cosmetics lady that her products are terrible, but she has pulled all the make up apart. She talks all the time about horrible her husband is, but he is just stressed and exhausted, she is very nasty. She had a personality disorder before (undiagnosed) She talks constantly about how awful he is to everyone, even strangers in the street. I am constantly agreeing with her, but it's hard, as she tells him I agree with her, so exhausting. I lost it a bit last week, and stuck up for her husband, she threw a fit. She is also spending a huge amount, but it's her money, so he just true to warn her she will have less money, but she this be wants it for himself. Wow it only gets worse by the day!!!!
I am so sorry...that is awful and so emotionally draining. :(
This is heart breaking. Dad believes my brother beat him up, which never happened. I’ve tried to just go with it... saying my brothers getting help. I don’t know if that helps. What’s so awful, is dad is nasty , nasty and says horrible things about my brother.... his own son. My dad has become an ugly human. 😞
I'm so sorry. In a situation like this, Careblazers have better luck ignoring the exact words your dad is saying and just responding with general comments like, I love you dad. Let's watch TV dad. Would you like a snack, dad? and so on. It can be too heartbreaking to go along with delusions that are so hateful toward other family members. Sending strength!
I don’t want to give advice. But to agree with my dad in this situation (which is similar) hurts me so I can’t agree, I feel sometimes we have to put ourselves and our family first. That was a big struggle. Her advice to “divert attention” makes sense.
I’m in a similar but different situation. My dad is very angry at my sister. I’ve stopped trying to argue with him about his complaint against her, which is a warped, delusional version of the reality, but instead try to remind him that my sister cares about him and by her lights, is doing what she thinks is right. I don’t tell him his complaint against her is wrong (which just gets him riled up), but I do tell him their conflict is based on a difference of opinion. I don’t tell him his opinion is wrong! I’m just trying to de-escalate his rage so we can talk about other things.
One thing is really hard, though, and that’s my father’s second wife. She encourages his delusions and anger against my sister (and myself and my other siblings).
What if your loved one with dementia does not enjoy any activity at all? He is absolutely uncomfortable and upset pretty much all day long… Getting worse and worse as the day goes on. And every day it’s the same thing.
My 66 year old wife was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s. She has been scammed on-line for thousands of dollars. Her delusions is that the scammer is an old friend and that he will repay her all the money she gave him. Every effort we make to stop the scam such as closing bank accounts and credit cards infuriates her. All of our efforts to protect her makes her more angry. We have resorted to court ordered guardianship of her financial assets.
My wife is 49 and not getting proper help from mental health care in Ontario
Have you contacted CCAC?
Ontario has multiple locations called Regional Geriatric Programs (RGPs) for folks with dementia or aging related diseases and assessments. They are fully OHIP covered. What city are you in, or near?
Very helpful.
I watch all your videos all so helpful and well done
How do you move on when your the only people in the house and the delusion goes on and on and on, each and every day? Same subject , no good answer.
Hello. Awesome. Help. What specialty doctor will yield mother's《83》 best Dg? PCP: 25mg Seroquel.😳
Recommended visual hallucinations and physical. Headed 2 Chicago asap.
So if my loved one accuses me of stealing her expensive painting (what really happened to it, I don't know) I should tell her not to worry, yes I stole it, and then I should reassure her that I will bring it back? Then what do I say to them when the police show up at my door, and my loved one is there and tells them that I admitted stealing it. Last time something like this happened I told the police my loved one has dementia, and has delusions, but they arrested me anyway. I told them well yes, I admitted stealing it, to her, not to you, because someone on youtube told me to admit it, even though I didn't actually steal it. That was more complicated than they were able to understand. Thank goodness my loved one couldn't find t the documents that showed when she bought the painting and how much she paid for it. So the DA dropped the case. But I had to spend the weekend in jail, and pay $600 to a lawyer.
My wife has delusions hallucinations and I tried to tell her that I'm here nobody will hurt you but she doesn't stop she keeps on and on don't know what to do what to say if I agree with her it doesn't work sometime I just walk away then she said I don't care.
If you have tried to calm her and redirect her and nothing is working, you can talk to her PCP about her symptoms as then medications may be suggested.
Careblazers: dementia care heroes thank you for your reply I did take her to the Dr and she got medication 💊 for that, from 25 mg she went up to 50 mg. Just two days ago will see if this change of dosage will help she needs to go back in 4 weeks
@@jozeflak1868 May I ask what med was prescribed for hallucinations? And did it help? Thank you.
This was a great video! Thank you!
You are welcome.
I look after my elderly neighbour with vascular and Alzheimer's. She used to have delusional episodes, where she thought she had travelled away for the weekend for a wedding or similar. Last year we took dairy out of her diet after keeping a food and symptoms diary to see if it would make a difference. She's a lot less confused and delusional now. Not recommended for everyone, but for her it made a difference. She went from saying 'I don't know if I'm coming or going' all the time to 'Do you know what? I think l'm getting better.' And that was the end of that. She then went on Donepezil tablets. There was an improvement but also a set back like someone was giving her dairy again. Again she started to say 'I don't know if I'm coming or going'. Turns out the tablet form contained low dose lactose. She's now on the liquid form without the milk and does much much better again.
I’m currently dealing with my MIL who has delusions and hallucinations. She is in assisted living.
The challenge I have is that she sometimes knows she is “off” but doesn’t understand what is happening. She’ll say, “I’m having a spell” and gets fearful. She’s forgetting more and more words.
We have different doctors for her but she wants to go only to her specialist.
Any suggestions on how I can avoid a fight but help her understand we need to keep the GP?
She will make statements and/or create a crying scene by shouting, “I want Dr. A but Sara is forcing me to see Dr. B and that this not what I want. If you don’t let me go see Dr. A, then take me to the hospital because something hurts.”
BTW the hospital scene exacerbates the delusion.
Uuughhh!
HI, This is Trisha. Dr. Natali's social media manager. I'm sorry to hear about your situation;. Here is a RUclips video she made that I hope can help you with your situation. 💖ruclips.net/video/x_-tTOSL_UM/видео.html
HI , This is Trisha. Dr. Natali's social media manager. I'm sorry to hear about your situation; many dementia caregivers experience similar challenges. She is hosting a free behavior class coming up soon where she talks about how to successfully respond to challenging situations like this. Would you like me to send you the link so you can sign up and save your free spot?
@@DementiaCareblazers yes, please!
LINK to free class: go.careblazers.com/class
Very very helpful ty.
Same. My loved one has delusions, and visionary plus auditory hallucinations. It’s very very difficult. This journey of caring for our loved one has made me truly terrified of growing old. Is is normal to be terrified of being the one with dementia in the future? I’ve often thought I’d rather end it at the first sign of dementia when I grow older, and then I realise how silly and selfish that it, then I flip back and forth with the thoughts. It’s truly terrifying. I’m currently 30.
My husband is 84, and I am 77, and I fear coming down with this disease, no one would be able to help me, everyone has to work to make their living, it's really difficult to know what to do, and how to get help. His dementia is getting worse by the day.
Once they start defecation on the floor,not knowing who any one is,becoming violent there is no help any more but medication,restraints and lock down.They are dead already do not put yourself or your children through this!!! The violence and abuse is not to be tolerated don't even feel bad. If it was not dementia it would be criminal behavior.A danger to themselves or others is pretty clear.
it's kinda funny in a familiar way. It's really like how you deal with a child that's upset.
Something we are seeing is that for short periods my mom can present very normal, especially if the person she is speaking too has a lot of value to her, such as our out of town sisters. Because she does this, they think those of us who are caregiving are exaggerating how bad things have become for her, and also how exhausting it is to care for her 24/7. If they come for a short visit even, her behavior can improve drastically, then revert the minute they are gone. Sometimes we have even wondered if my mom isn’t playing us for fools. I wonder if others have this happen?
Yes, you are not alone. The same thing happens to us. But, it is getting to the point now that others can see it as well.
Sounds just like my mom, I often think she's playing me! She hates going to her bedroom she's afraid she will be left there,she's unable to get in and out of bed by herself. I have to tell her that I will be over to get her up or put her to bed over and over every day, sometimes 4 times in an hour, it's exhausting.
It's called "showboating" & is the bane of my existence
Follow up: We discovered the best way to make others aware…we both took 8 days off at the same time and required our out of town sisters to come take over her 24/7 care for the full break. By evening of Day One, they were calling for advice. By the end of Day Four, they were researching care facilities. When we all got together on Day Nine, they looked haggard and we knew they now understood.
My mother in law is doing this at the moment, I’ll admit I thought she was crying wolf again.
We care for my grandma with dementia. In the course of 4 hours I am her grandchild to a paid person to care for her. She often has delusions. It's just hard to redirect or distract when she has little to no hearing.
My husband accused me of having an affair with our son in law. He was fully convinced he made such a case for himself it was so hurtful. We didn't have a dementia diagnosis at the time. He has recently been diagnosed with FTD but we are going for a DTaT scan soon to see what's going on. He was also diagnosed with Parkinson's but Dr feel now that maybe a lewy body type dementia..... Could this be so???? I'm so scared and frightened he suffers also from Bipolar for the past 40 years.
Same here , my husband bipolar for 40 years now dementia and Parkinson's and psychosis
Is it possible that coughing fits could be part of the sundowners? This usually starts occuring regularly as the early evening begins. Every kind of Dr has seen her and nothing is a firm diagnosis. This continues well into the very early morning 3am or more.
Has your loved one been seen by speech pathology?
No. What would they be looking for? Something in the larynx?
Does your LOWD take Lisinopril? It has a side effect of coughing.
My lo has delusions she has more dogs then she really has. So she constantly thinks she lost or someone took her dog. She also sees a stranger looking at her in the mirror. Help
My grandma had delusions because of her dementia. I personally have had delusions too but because of psychosis (I’m 15)
Grief for the caregiver and anxiety for the patient. Are there medications prescribed for helping with anxiety attacks?
Could you comment on the effect of HYPERthyroidism on a person who is already suffering from dementia please? Thank you.
My mother has delusions quite often. She accuses me of stealing, misplacing her stuff, even sleeping with lots of men. The worst thing is she would accuse me of hurting our little dog, a Yorkshire Terrier, which I love dearly. So when she accuses me of beating him or scolding him or doing bad things to him, I don’t know how to respond. I know it’s futile trying to tell her that I would never hurt our dog but she is convinced that I do things to hurt him, which I don’t know how to respond because I cannot agree with her. She also has hallucinations, she sees people, ghosts, strange things or objects, she hears people talking or singing and people repeating what she’s saying which gets her so agitated that she would shout back, nonstop! Oh, and she smells things too, especially food, she always as if I were cooking late at night! I sometimes want to run away and never come back. I’m a wreck!
Angela Williams o yes I relate to that my wife is the same way stealing lying trying to here her the ex was a better man better hosbend it very sad 😢 I do feel very sorry for her it's a terrible disease when she doesn't know sometime how I'm seeing people very very sad I praye for you and everyone how is a caregiver I know it's not easy.
Jozef Lak Thank you Josef. I pray for you too. Good luck and God bless.
What if they stop taking their meds? How can you get them to take them?
Its difficult especially now that mom is legally blind. Her activities are so limited because of the low vision. How to change a delusional person who is constantly negative. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
My LO who is 76 seen his mom today
I seen him talking to her
Then he infatically denied it
WTH??
HI Aimee, This is Trisha. Dr. Natali's social media manager. I'm sorry to hear about your situation; many dementia caregivers experience similar challenges. She is hosting a free behavior class coming up soon where she talks about how to successfully respond to challenging situations like this. Would you like me to send you the link so you can sign up and save your free spot?
Thanks.
We join in the delusion regularly, it works very well with our Mom, she feels calm and validated. I still don't like lying to my Mom, but you're dealing with a delusion, not reality.
My 101 year old mother who i care for . I'm a 66 year old man with my own health problems won't stop talking about all her dead mom and dad and brother and sister's she come from a family of 12 . and only her and her brother are left . but she thinks her family talks to her and visits everyday . it drive me nuts then she gets on the phone trying to call them or calling other people and trying to find them ..
My daughter has Down syndrome and is not doing well mentally. Her psychiatrist has said more than once how a person with a low IQ could get dementia at an early age. She is 25. Something is definitely wrong with her. We have tried many different meds over the last three years under Drs care. I’m starting to wonder if she has or is getting dementia??? Any thoughts or information on this. It would be so appreciated. This has been a very hard journey- the last three years.