Life has only ever been about you . Its how you feel about yourself and how you make people feel. You are seperated to learn yourself. Its a sweet thing. Loving thing.
Beware of the subtle breadcrumbs of non-dual language/ideas leading you into a new story, the story of non-duality. The documentary Who's Driving the Dreambus has a couple of young people using this same ND language with absolute beaming certitude. Checked to see where they are now and both have moved on and describe what they were experiencing then as a particular experience but far from the complete picture. One writes about awakening from non-duality and the other is a therapist working with people from the ND community who have gotten messed up on the path of negating all form/experience. I have also had this experience, the first thing I did was throw spaghetti on the wall and rub it in my face because suddenly everything was seen as empty and nothing mattered, it was wild. But there is still a body there and there is still an energetic life which never stops moving and changing. Lumping all form into a bin of meaningless irrelevance can be a sneaky way to camp out in the untouchable place and never have to deal with form again. All form being irrelevant and "That" being the only thing that's relevant is its own duality. Just something to be on the look out for...or completely disregard :). I enjoy your videos and hearing about your experience 🙏
Thanks a lot, following your comment I discovered Tim Freke's "unividual" concept, which makes a lot more sense than non-duality to me. Yes the non-dual story is just another story. One thing is becoming aware of what is happening here and now and diferentiating it from the spiral of neurotic thoughts and emotions, or that the little "me" our emotions think are protecting is just an idea, an story, not a real entity, and another disregarding that story as unimportant and delusional, instead of using the new freedom to reshape it for more possibilities and less sufffering. The same with the experience of Presence/oneness. It is great to discover that one has that experience available here and now, always, but to call it "the true nature" is ideology. Why the experience of oneness should be more "true nature" than the experience of "separation"? How just living the experience of no subject/object can derive in "knowing" that the world is ilusión, that your body does not really exist? How do you know? It could be, or it could not, just by the experience one cannot say. The availability of the experience, and the awareness that one cannot know is the valuable thing, not the interpretation. Or the "there is no me, it's just life happening", right, happening through an individual unique body-mind that takes options, experiences consequences, and becomes consciously aware of itself as individual and as oneness, integrating both, not killing one to regreess to just undiferentiatied oneness and "nothing to do".
Hi Suzanne. Thanks so much for your message, you help me so much with feeling less alone on this very lone path. Things are losing meaning over here and my conditioning is terribly depressed about it. It feels like the more I glimpse truth, the more disturbed and helpless I feel. I know this is all going to the end of me and I’m afraid.
I know how u feel. I cry a lot interspersed with contentment and confusion lol. But it bothers me a lot less than last year, emotions appear and disappear with general contentment overall. Wish u well!
Loneliness, the path, depression, the truth, helplessness, fear. This is just what is arising and its not real. Don't claim any of it as yours. You are none of it. The energy of "Me" likes to own what arises. Once you realise this, you will just start to just "see" and not get into it. Like when you are at the cinema, watching amovie. You get into the movie but after the movie ends , you feel a sense of peace that it was never real. What arise is not real.
Work and conversation with collegues today triggered me back into my story, having inauthentic conversations and beating myself up about it. A new little death waiting for me to experience - the foresight is still jarring to me. But i keep faith and continue to be humbled again and again. Thanks for sharing Suzanne
The thing that beats yourself up about it is a second layer of the illusory “me”. There’s almost like two me’s, there’s the story character and then there’s the sheepdog who’s trying to manage/steer that story character towards what it wants. The sheepdog is just as illusory as the story character. When you feel it arise look at it the same way you do the original story, widen your sense of awareness/openness and find yourself as the aware space the sheepdog manager is arising in. You can see it arises mechanically on its own and is not “you.” You are neither the story character nor the thought that arises to admonish or control the story character. Good luck to you! 🙏
@@keithganzmusic thanks for that! It's a good analogy i'll remember this, and i also find this to be true. Where I get stuck in my story, in such a painfully mazelike way is the lack of the human embrace, Severed family ties, no system of support. Let's say it's how i learn!
Gosh, I wish I could let go and drop this self that I keep carrying around with me....even just for a short break. Love these ideas! You are wise beyond your years!
I feel like an example I could give, would be like, you left earth and are floating off in space....the further you get away from earth, the less attachment to it there is, earth is still out there somewhere, but the distance grows and grows infiniftely.
This might be the truest expression of “Acceptance “ I’ve ever heard! So true for me. I tried to not be angry, to not be an asshole, but the ONLY way that angry asshole energy began to untangle and dissipate was when I began to have greater and greater acceptance for being an angry asshole! True of shame, fear, and sexual energy, as well. We talk so much about acceptance, but in fact we are mostly so stingy about accepting these simple, basic, and ultimately harmless energies within ourselves… 🙏🏼💙🔥🫥🤯🌻
Hi, Clee, Glad to hear it helps. So simple, really. Yet it is so contrary to most of our conditioning to repress, deny, and avoid, that it seems radical and even dangerous to actually live this way. All the best to you in your own exploration of true “self-love.” 💙🤬😁
A year have passed. Autumn is truly wonderful. Glad to see and hear so much reflected and something I deeply resonate with. Multiple smiles through this one hearing my own inner words be spoken but from you, with another frequency and energy here. Simply great. Wish you yet another magical autumn time Suzanne! Good vibes!
I feel this may be a temporary passage we are going through, speaking about what it is and isn't. It seems another attempt to articulate and share as the window widens. Becoming aware of someone who is noone.
Its so valuable for me what you share🙏 It seems a similar personality, set of programms runs here...And similar insights are happening...and its so reassuring to not question them... Thank you!
There's no knowing of anything here and a distinct awareness of awareness and that everything is thought and this is all just concepts and stories but there's still so much desire and deep pain and suffering and fear and a practical life I can't escape from (single parent, and a completely inept one at that, along with being utterly dysfunctional in every area of life that a human being is expected to be at least reasonably functional in). Since I can't get rid of that story and all the nervous system dysregulation from the trauma that comes from it, I keep trying to change the story to something better through "manifestation" techniques, like scripting, affirming visualizing, breathwork, guided meditations, all of this stuff. It seems to be helping sometimes but then all the inner turmoil boils back up and it's just the same old shit again. All this talk about "releasing" or "letting go" of samskaras, vasanas, etc. etc. is starting to feel like bullshit. That all the somatic work I try to do to feel into all these emotions and blah blah blah just goes nowhere. Nothing ever gets permanently released or "healed". It's all just starting to feel like either it's total bullshit or it just doesn't work for ME. Maybe because I'm neurodivergent, maybe I don't have the same kind of neuroplasticity that some other people seem to have. I'm just getting tired of trying to fix myself just so I can live in this practical world in some semi-normal, acceptable way.
The problem isn't you. You are not meant to be normal if you are here on these videos. You don't need society to accept you. Be different, embody that, and then later you can slowly accept what is. Don't fix yourself, don't do anything. Live your life observing the stories, thoughts and emotions, "don't do" or "do" anything about them, let them be. Those practices don't fix anything if you try to "attain" them to fix yourself. It doesn't help. You will start to realize that those traumas and stories are not you, it's the Ego. What you are trying to "heal" is the ego and the mind which requires psychological help. You are trying to fix psychology with non-duality practices. Neurology isn't non-duality. Some people are just meant to play a role and some are here to remember who they are as a Soul.
@@AwakeningWings Well, psychology is just mind and how you think and the associated nervous system dynamics that go with that, the flight/fight/freeze response and all that. That's why I do breathwork and a lot of somatic stuff, "feeling into" those difficult uncomfortable states. I've tried multiple anti-depressants and they don't do anything but give me side effects. I might as well be taking a sugar pill. So the traditional western psychology stuff has been virtually useless. I'm kind of tired of trying that route, thinking I'm gonna find some magical therapist that's gonna give me just the right "perspective" on everything that finally changes something in a fundamental, core way. And I definitely appreciate and agree with the bits about letting go of this mentality of needing to "fix" myself. I know that fundamentally, we are all perfectly imperfect. It's just that that doesn't pay bills and put food on the table or solve my struggles as a single parent, ya know? I don't fundamentally think there's anything more or less wrong with me than anyone else. It's just that there's a status quo and our survival depends on being able assimilate into that.
Fantastic. Yes for me it's the realm of "controlled folly" as Don Juan Matus described in Carlos Castaneda books. It's leaving the ego-centric reality but pretending the ego-centric world matters because that's where all of your friends and family still reside. A question I've been pondering for a long time is "is everything a metaphor?". A metaphor meaning using something completely unrelated to describe something else. I think the answer is "yes" which is exhilarating to me.
Thank you Suzanne. The message is becoming more and more clear. The feeling of being in the womb and this is all there is. Just sinking into that and it’s a feeling of home. A loving , cozy, happy, safe home. 🩷
I love when you said "I've never loved Suzanne THAT much" - I am finding self-acceptance and love more and more through sensational presence. Thank you for sharing more of your experience.
I so relate to what you're saying, Suzanne. When you say there's no society, no others and, in reality, there never were, it feels a bit like watching a movie of life but there's no one watching. It's just revealed that there's only this life appearance from a position of utter peace. Turbulence may still seem to occur but it doesn't stick. Just amazing and thanks for the pointing. However, there can be confusion in what you say. For example, in this video, you say this is both so simple and also so complex. Can it really be both? Could you pls clarify?
crazy I can see you in a place you are not at anymore. I carefully watched the video not to miss the next smile and yet you have been gone for a long time.
Hello Suzanne Good to hear from you my Beautiful sister, You Are Absolutely right to say that you can't imagine it or think of it or nothing never touch it. It can not be described... This life is Beyond thoughts words and descriptions ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I feel like the body will always do its job as a mechanism to protect itself. The "I" or "me" or "myself" has nothing to do with the body I suppose. The body wants to survive, while the "I" wants to experience. I suppose we are in a constant state of ying'ing and yang'ing haha. I often wonder what it would be like to experience the energy we felt at like 1 or 2 years old. Having the sense of nothingness, just pure enjoyment. Expressing ourselves without the conditions of others and social life. In regards to what you said about the self identity falling away, conditional habits falling away... It, again, feels like the body wants to survive off of what it knows based off what it has experienced. So in turn it "feels" difficult but it really isn't. That's just a made up story that our body labels as personality traits. There is no such thing, huh? Every moment I'm someone different, but the body's memory wants me to replay the same story to stay in the familiar. ALL in ALL, it's like Jim Carrey said, "The character is what trips you up, the thing of, "I'm going to get so dark in this character that I'm going to get lost in a character." You can't get lost in a character. You can only think you're lost in a character."
I be been curious about the idea that “the body keeps the score” as discussed in the book of the same name. Do emotions get “trapped” in the body until “released” or is it just feelings arising anew and the mind labeling them as familiar and attributing them to something that happened in the past? If the latter is true, is trauma all in the mind?!
Emotioins do get trapped in the body, or rather we carry with them until they get triggered by something. It's simple conditioning. The exact same process by which you memorize things (association) or do a slew of other normal mental functions that allows to speak and be human.
@jeanlundi2142 Thank you for sharing your experience of this. This mind is curious as to what Suzanne is pointing to at 12:18…. “Nothing is replicated….Everything is fresh and new. Everything is for the first time. Everything is for the last time. It is dying as it is coming.”
The emotions and feelings remain in the mind, they will always be there. But when they arise you don't identify with them anymore, or do anything with them or against them. Just like we can't stop the thinking or thoughts from showing up. It's never constant, it's always changing so it feels new but it's not new. What remains is the formless soul/being which is constant.
Emotions do not get trapped in the body, more so that the central nervous system in trauma remains stuck in a certain sympathetic drive or parasympathetic state, dissociation being the freeze state that is neither parasympathetic dominant or sympathetic, its more so stuck in either position unable to change easily in response to the environment or your draw on resources. Pretty much your autonomic nervous system makes you unable to act in the situation and as dissociation happens chronically in response to stress often leads to the inability to carry out mental functions related to executive function namely planing because that would lead to action and therefore danger, so you don't really have a need for a sense of self as that would be an evaluation good or bad want or not or future oriented things or past things like regret. There is no trauma in the body its all in the brain, but the whole trauma in the body lot of people in these circles say that but it be better to say Feeling not memory in the body its misleading.
It seems like Awakening comes after meditation or a truly random event, and then the break-away dissolve phase begins which lasts until full Enlightenment. That's what I'm seeing from my end anyway. All this talk resonates with me. And I like to see the notes of progress being talked about as well. Teh gradual shifting from an ex-human to simply expression of All That Is. Through graveyards we dance and chatter like skulls - Death is no more an ally than a friend.
I am so delighted to hear that you have this BEAUTIFUL retreat center and I hope that everything is going Gracefully well with you and I hope that we can meet each other in person in very near future ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hi there, such a beautiful video. I see and hear you so completely. I get where you are at. The same is happening here too..Its so hard to explain because words come out dualistic. And yet we have to communicate in this language. Yes, you are so correct very hard to talk about
for real, the body does its own thing. it reacts in unsuspected ways for me. I can only observe and speak kindness into it. There is nothing I can do to control how it "should" react in certain situations it just does and does not give a f*ck about should and should nots.
It's funny how the truth really exposes that we were never social creatures...humans are only social out of fear of being alone. You are always alone, it's just a flimsy "you" character, lose that and then it's jus calm neutral nothingness. You think back, and go hmm...it's crazy that everyone around is so...bullshitted into playing a role in a play that they never auditioned for lol. Yet they are just being miserable and trying to control the nothingness...fear.
@@AwakeningWings Though it's unaware of that. Would be like a planet realizing it's a planet, can't handle that. Nothing can handle the realization that it's nothing lol.
😂😂. Great episode. To honestly express oneself, isn’t this what everyone would like to be able to do? There seems to be a vocabulary that ties in to expression of non-duality. But it tends to break apart in favor of comparison, distance, weight and time. Such are the makings for sadness and fear. For most. Its surprising to see this in others but ever more shocking to see it in oneself. Challenges will come and knock non duality into all things quantum- endless possibilities, impossibilities and confusion. Is there an art, action or practice which conditions the body towards unconditional freedom? A freedom to be oneself. A freedom to be oneself, even in stormy weather?
Good job on expressing the ND perspective. It is indeed very difficult to put into words. Most will not understand, and that's OK. It's a natural course of the flow, beyond simple, but most peeps' minds tend to step in with all sorts of distractions and agendas. Happy to see you seem to have settled into the Realization.
UNADULTERATED 😘 Such a funny word I rarely use… Funny how we never say “adulterated” Are we saying that adults mess things up!? Diluting down joy and sorrow just the same 🙃
Some might regard this quote, perhaps, as not relevant. But I think perhaps it is: "We might ask ourselves: if there is totality to begin with, where does ignorance come from? If ignorance emerges, it seems to imply a flaw in the totality. That's a very interesting question, an extremely good question. And in fact, that seems to be the whole message! Therefore, the Buddha and the great teachers aren't inspired to give a secondhand answer to that question. It has to be a firsthand answer, one that comes from you. In fact, the answer to that question might be the password to enlightenment. We might go as far as to say that."
Wouldn't say the story stops, it just continues on without "you" participating or believing it lol. Also as for memories...don' trust memories. They are just another layer to the self, a piece of the diorama, one of ego's many tricks. You can be amused by them but they aren't "real." You can read a book that you really enjoyed and years later you still recall that book. But the book was still just a story...completely phony lol.
I hear you, "nothing can describe it.". Enlightenment what the hell is that. Just a word that attempts to describe the indescribable. All we can do is talk but nothing Is learnt until we walk the talk. We can't know the path we can only walk it here and now.
Darlin ...beautiful BEAUTIFUL sweet love that you are! ...you are EVERYTHING!!!! you are ego ...and super ego ...strip away the body ...strip away the mind . What you left with? BEINGNESS .. you create your own ego...but its not ego...ego is something placed on you...what ypu are doing...isCHARACTER! Self made! TWICE BORN!
I know exactly what you are describing. That falling away is just the nothingness having less egoic fragments in it. Less attachment to shit. As for saying people wont understand, ain't that the truth lol. People don't want to understand, cause that would change or destroy the current "them".
@@AwakeningWings If all characters woke up, there would be no dream going on...no story playing out, no experiences to experience. Would be a blank boringness lol. Some are meant to be hobo's, some robbers, some killers, some the victims of aid killers, some doctors, some celebs, so on and so on. Some are meant to end up enlightened. If Fate chose you be grateful, though that to is moot as Fate chose all, so the point is be grateful regardless.
Looking at this me or not me is just a reinforcement of concept even if it's meant to be a way of negating the concept itself, it still sticks around. It may be better without all these distinctions and to see them as irrelevant and lose interest in it. The focus can lift off it and shift towards the nurture of Spirit, a kind of lightning rod that dispels all the mental machinations.
Meditation technqiue for you ...go to a quiet place ....put your on your heart....do a couple push ups or something to get your blood flowing ....that pulsing...is GOD ! God...lives in your HEART! Your internal state ...creates your outter being . You co create your own being . Learning to FEELLLL!
In my experience, the story can still be known but it is now recognised as a story whereas before, it was wholeheartedly lived. It's like when you have a physical book, where you can open it when desired and close it at will. You are not lost in the story 24/7.
"No desire for this to happen for others". This is a big thing that devides false teachers from truth speakers. As if it is the one big solution for everything😅instead it can lead to unbearable problems when the "I" dissolves which should be talked about much more
Life has only ever been about you . Its how you feel about yourself and how you make people feel. You are seperated to learn yourself. Its a sweet thing. Loving thing.
Beware of the subtle breadcrumbs of non-dual language/ideas leading you into a new story, the story of non-duality. The documentary Who's Driving the Dreambus has a couple of young people using this same ND language with absolute beaming certitude. Checked to see where they are now and both have moved on and describe what they were experiencing then as a particular experience but far from the complete picture. One writes about awakening from non-duality and the other is a therapist working with people from the ND community who have gotten messed up on the path of negating all form/experience. I have also had this experience, the first thing I did was throw spaghetti on the wall and rub it in my face because suddenly everything was seen as empty and nothing mattered, it was wild. But there is still a body there and there is still an energetic life which never stops moving and changing. Lumping all form into a bin of meaningless irrelevance can be a sneaky way to camp out in the untouchable place and never have to deal with form again. All form being irrelevant and "That" being the only thing that's relevant is its own duality. Just something to be on the look out for...or completely disregard :). I enjoy your videos and hearing about your experience 🙏
ye non duality is another form of duality.
If you listen closely there is no position being taken, your position is not in opposition to what Suzanne is saying, xo.
@@Michaelgallant171 but Suzanne saying Suzanne is a story doesn't make it real non dual. Non dualism is a fantasy. Duality is the truth.
@@frv6610 non dualism is not a position! That’s why it’s not called oneism
Thanks a lot, following your comment I discovered Tim Freke's "unividual" concept, which makes a lot more sense than non-duality to me.
Yes the non-dual story is just another story. One thing is becoming aware of what is happening here and now and diferentiating it from the spiral of neurotic thoughts and emotions, or that the little "me" our emotions think are protecting is just an idea, an story, not a real entity, and another disregarding that story as unimportant and delusional, instead of using the new freedom to reshape it for more possibilities and less sufffering. The same with the experience of Presence/oneness. It is great to discover that one has that experience available here and now, always, but to call it "the true nature" is ideology. Why the experience of oneness should be more "true nature" than the experience of "separation"? How just living the experience of no subject/object can derive in "knowing" that the world is ilusión, that your body does not really exist? How do you know? It could be, or it could not, just by the experience one cannot say. The availability of the experience, and the awareness that one cannot know is the valuable thing, not the interpretation. Or the "there is no me, it's just life happening", right, happening through an individual unique body-mind that takes options, experiences consequences, and becomes consciously aware of itself as individual and as oneness, integrating both, not killing one to regreess to just undiferentiatied oneness and "nothing to do".
May you be happy and peaceful
Thanks so much Anglikai! Always appreciated ♡ ♡ ♡
Hi Suzanne. Thanks so much for your message, you help me so much with feeling less alone on this very lone path.
Things are losing meaning over here and my conditioning is terribly depressed about it. It feels like the more I glimpse truth, the more disturbed and helpless I feel. I know this is all going to the end of me and I’m afraid.
I wish you good luck but if you don't like that way why don't you stop doing it?
Because I truly don’t have a choice. I can’t live in the false state.
Thank you so much for the well wishes.
I know how u feel. I cry a lot interspersed with contentment and confusion lol. But it bothers me a lot less than last year, emotions appear and disappear with general contentment overall. Wish u well!
Loneliness, the path, depression, the truth, helplessness, fear. This is just what is arising and its not real.
Don't claim any of it as yours. You are none of it.
The energy of "Me" likes to own what arises. Once you realise this, you will just start to just "see" and not get into it.
Like when you are at the cinema, watching amovie. You get into the movie but after the movie ends , you feel a sense of peace that it was never real. What arise is not real.
@@celina.hayslett what if the false state is not false?
Work and conversation with collegues today triggered me back into my story, having inauthentic conversations and beating myself up about it. A new little death waiting for me to experience - the foresight is still jarring to me. But i keep faith and continue to be humbled again and again.
Thanks for sharing Suzanne
The thing that beats yourself up about it is a second layer of the illusory “me”. There’s almost like two me’s, there’s the story character and then there’s the sheepdog who’s trying to manage/steer that story character towards what it wants. The sheepdog is just as illusory as the story character. When you feel it arise look at it the same way you do the original story, widen your sense of awareness/openness and find yourself as the aware space the sheepdog manager is arising in. You can see it arises mechanically on its own and is not “you.” You are neither the story character nor the thought that arises to admonish or control the story character. Good luck to you! 🙏
@@keithganzmusic thanks for that! It's a good analogy i'll remember this, and i also find this to be true.
Where I get stuck in my story, in such a painfully mazelike way is the lack of the human embrace, Severed family ties, no system of support. Let's say it's how i learn!
That's very insightful of you. The idea of a sheepdog 'you' is so amusing but also absolutely correct.@@keithganzmusic
Gosh, I wish I could let go and drop this self that I keep carrying around with me....even just for a short break. Love these ideas! You are wise beyond your years!
This is so helpful! Authentic, open transparent, relatable. A gift.
I feel like an example I could give, would be like, you left earth and are floating off in space....the further you get away from earth, the less attachment to it there is, earth is still out there somewhere, but the distance grows and grows infiniftely.
This is what I am experiencing nowadays. ❤
@@LalitSharma-jl7oq :)
I’m speechless and it feels good , thank you Suzanne
This might be the truest expression of “Acceptance “ I’ve ever heard!
So true for me.
I tried to not be angry, to not be an asshole, but the ONLY way that angry asshole energy began to untangle and dissipate was when I began to have greater and greater acceptance for being an angry asshole!
True of shame, fear, and sexual energy, as well.
We talk so much about acceptance, but in fact we are mostly so stingy about accepting these simple, basic, and ultimately harmless energies within ourselves…
🙏🏼💙🔥🫥🤯🌻
This helps me ❤❤❤ Ty! I know this but your words made it more somehow. Ty Ty Ty xxx
And those emojis 👌🏼🙌🏼
Hi, Clee,
Glad to hear it helps.
So simple, really.
Yet it is so contrary to most of our conditioning to repress, deny, and avoid, that it seems radical and even dangerous to actually live this way.
All the best to you in your own exploration of true “self-love.”
💙🤬😁
A year have passed. Autumn is truly wonderful. Glad to see and hear so much reflected and something I deeply resonate with. Multiple smiles through this one hearing my own inner words be spoken but from you, with another frequency and energy here. Simply great. Wish you yet another magical autumn time Suzanne! Good vibes!
Thanks!
Thanks so much Michael! Super generous of you & really appreciated ♡ ♡ ♡
IMO authentic and true | This sounds more like the real buddhist teachning that never made it in one piece to our timeline | Thank you
I feel this may be a temporary passage we are going through, speaking about what it is and isn't. It seems another attempt to articulate and share as the window widens. Becoming aware of someone who is noone.
Thank you SO much for this sharing!❤ the leaves are also blowing and falling here- I feel the arising and falling away very beautifully in this🍂🍁
Gorgeous video. The settings, the feelings, the purity.
Its so valuable for me what you share🙏 It seems a similar personality, set of programms runs here...And similar insights are happening...and its so reassuring to not question them... Thank you!
ITS AUTUMN....❤❤❤❤
Actually it’s nearly winter, you’re a bit late!
There's no knowing of anything here and a distinct awareness of awareness and that everything is thought and this is all just concepts and stories but there's still so much desire and deep pain and suffering and fear and a practical life I can't escape from (single parent, and a completely inept one at that, along with being utterly dysfunctional in every area of life that a human being is expected to be at least reasonably functional in). Since I can't get rid of that story and all the nervous system dysregulation from the trauma that comes from it, I keep trying to change the story to something better through "manifestation" techniques, like scripting, affirming visualizing, breathwork, guided meditations, all of this stuff. It seems to be helping sometimes but then all the inner turmoil boils back up and it's just the same old shit again. All this talk about "releasing" or "letting go" of samskaras, vasanas, etc. etc. is starting to feel like bullshit. That all the somatic work I try to do to feel into all these emotions and blah blah blah just goes nowhere. Nothing ever gets permanently released or "healed". It's all just starting to feel like either it's total bullshit or it just doesn't work for ME. Maybe because I'm neurodivergent, maybe I don't have the same kind of neuroplasticity that some other people seem to have. I'm just getting tired of trying to fix myself just so I can live in this practical world in some semi-normal, acceptable way.
@@pamdarnaby Thank you so much 🙏💛
There is no normal. You be you. The only meaningful acceptance is self acceptance. Once that happens there total freedom. You can let the self go.
I hear you too. Sending you all the love I have love is the answer....unconditional love to your self from your Self!❤❤❤
The problem isn't you. You are not meant to be normal if you are here on these videos. You don't need society to accept you. Be different, embody that, and then later you can slowly accept what is.
Don't fix yourself, don't do anything. Live your life observing the stories, thoughts and emotions, "don't do" or "do" anything about them, let them be. Those practices don't fix anything if you try to "attain" them to fix yourself. It doesn't help.
You will start to realize that those traumas and stories are not you, it's the Ego. What you are trying to "heal" is the ego and the mind which requires psychological help. You are trying to fix psychology with non-duality practices. Neurology isn't non-duality.
Some people are just meant to play a role and some are here to remember who they are as a Soul.
@@AwakeningWings Well, psychology is just mind and how you think and the associated nervous system dynamics that go with that, the flight/fight/freeze response and all that. That's why I do breathwork and a lot of somatic stuff, "feeling into" those difficult uncomfortable states. I've tried multiple anti-depressants and they don't do anything but give me side effects. I might as well be taking a sugar pill. So the traditional western psychology stuff has been virtually useless. I'm kind of tired of trying that route, thinking I'm gonna find some magical therapist that's gonna give me just the right "perspective" on everything that finally changes something in a fundamental, core way.
And I definitely appreciate and agree with the bits about letting go of this mentality of needing to "fix" myself. I know that fundamentally, we are all perfectly imperfect. It's just that that doesn't pay bills and put food on the table or solve my struggles as a single parent, ya know? I don't fundamentally think there's anything more or less wrong with me than anyone else. It's just that there's a status quo and our survival depends on being able assimilate into that.
Thank you, Suzanne. For documenting and communicating this.
Missed you. Wish you well .
Fantastic. Yes for me it's the realm of "controlled folly" as Don Juan Matus described in Carlos Castaneda books. It's leaving the ego-centric reality but pretending the ego-centric world matters because that's where all of your friends and family still reside. A question I've been pondering for a long time is "is everything a metaphor?". A metaphor meaning using something completely unrelated to describe something else. I think the answer is "yes" which is exhilarating to me.
🙋🏻♀️➰🩲👃🏽💕🏃🏾♂️....🧎🏾♂️🪂🛩️ umm Suzanne's non duality brings me alive umm..
Thank you Suzanne. The message is becoming more and more clear.
The feeling of being in the womb and this is all there is. Just sinking into that and it’s a feeling of home. A loving , cozy, happy, safe home. 🩷
Watching this reminds me of how long i was away from this silent solace. 🙏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾
I love when you said "I've never loved Suzanne THAT much" - I am finding self-acceptance and love more and more through sensational presence. Thank you for sharing more of your experience.
You are helping that's the joke here you just do it in the most honest direct and vulnerable way possible. Thank you :)
Thanks Suzanne. Language is imperfect.
Love you're videos
John
wexford
Ireland
I so relate to what you're saying, Suzanne. When you say there's no society, no others and, in reality, there never were, it feels a bit like watching a movie of life but there's no one watching. It's just revealed that there's only this life appearance from a position of utter peace. Turbulence may still seem to occur but it doesn't stick. Just amazing and thanks for the pointing. However, there can be confusion in what you say. For example, in this video, you say this is both so simple and also so complex. Can it really be both? Could you pls clarify?
Being One With Everything and Nothing is Bliss!!
Divine Love is all that’s Real
🙏🏼😌💜
crazy I can see you in a place you are not at anymore. I carefully watched the video not to miss the next smile and yet you have been gone for a long time.
Hello Suzanne
Good to hear from you my Beautiful sister,
You Are Absolutely right to say that you can't imagine it or think of it or nothing never touch it. It can not be described... This life is Beyond thoughts words and descriptions ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
transmission came through so beautifully, could literally watch you just sit there for hours
Keep crushing these concepts we created, this is it❤
Wow Susanne . How brave.
I have never understood something more entirely. Than, I do, today.
Wind & Water ,rules the Energy
Thanks Suzanne❤
I feel like the body will always do its job as a mechanism to protect itself. The "I" or "me" or "myself" has nothing to do with the body I suppose. The body wants to survive, while the "I" wants to experience. I suppose we are in a constant state of ying'ing and yang'ing haha. I often wonder what it would be like to experience the energy we felt at like 1 or 2 years old. Having the sense of nothingness, just pure enjoyment. Expressing ourselves without the conditions of others and social life. In regards to what you said about the self identity falling away, conditional habits falling away... It, again, feels like the body wants to survive off of what it knows based off what it has experienced. So in turn it "feels" difficult but it really isn't. That's just a made up story that our body labels as personality traits. There is no such thing, huh? Every moment I'm someone different, but the body's memory wants me to replay the same story to stay in the familiar. ALL in ALL, it's like Jim Carrey said, "The character is what trips you up, the thing of, "I'm going to get so dark in this character that I'm going to get lost in a character." You can't get lost in a character. You can only think you're lost in a character."
If you speak publicly you cannot get around the paradox perspective gives rise too.
I be been curious about the idea that “the body keeps the score” as discussed in the book of the same name. Do emotions get “trapped” in the body until “released” or is it just feelings arising anew and the mind labeling them as familiar and attributing them to something that happened in the past?
If the latter is true, is trauma all in the mind?!
Emotioins do get trapped in the body, or rather we carry with them until they get triggered by something. It's simple conditioning. The exact same process by which you memorize things (association) or do a slew of other normal mental functions that allows to speak and be human.
@jeanlundi2142 Thank you for sharing your experience of this. This mind is curious as to what Suzanne is pointing to at 12:18…. “Nothing is replicated….Everything is fresh and new. Everything is for the first time. Everything is for the last time. It is dying as it is coming.”
There is no time, there is only now.
The emotions and feelings remain in the mind, they will always be there. But when they arise you don't identify with them anymore, or do anything with them or against them. Just like we can't stop the thinking or thoughts from showing up. It's never constant, it's always changing so it feels new but it's not new. What remains is the formless soul/being which is constant.
Emotions do not get trapped in the body, more so that the central nervous system in trauma remains stuck in a certain sympathetic drive or parasympathetic state, dissociation being the freeze state that is neither parasympathetic dominant or sympathetic, its more so stuck in either position unable to change easily in response to the environment or your draw on resources. Pretty much your autonomic nervous system makes you unable to act in the situation and as dissociation happens chronically in response to stress often leads to the inability to carry out mental functions related to executive function namely planing because that would lead to action and therefore danger, so you don't really have a need for a sense of self as that would be an evaluation good or bad want or not or future oriented things or past things like regret. There is no trauma in the body its all in the brain, but the whole trauma in the body lot of people in these circles say that but it be better to say Feeling not memory in the body its misleading.
Beautiful ❤
Thank you for sharing❤
It seems like Awakening comes after meditation or a truly random event, and then the break-away dissolve phase begins which lasts until full Enlightenment. That's what I'm seeing from my end anyway. All this talk resonates with me. And I like to see the notes of progress being talked about as well. Teh gradual shifting from an ex-human to simply expression of All That Is.
Through graveyards we dance and chatter like skulls - Death is no more an ally than a friend.
Your soul has purpose, not your mind and ego. As you learn about the other aspects of reality the material is not so detrimental.
I am so delighted to hear that you have this BEAUTIFUL retreat center and I hope that everything is going Gracefully well with you and I hope that we can meet each other in person in very near future ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hi there, such a beautiful video. I see and hear you so completely. I get where you are at. The same is happening here too..Its so hard to explain because words come out dualistic. And yet we have to communicate in this language. Yes, you are so correct very hard to talk about
A surrender where a lot is lost, but it doesn't feel like losing.
It's beautiful, and there's no going back. 🥲👍
Your words deeply speak to what I have been experiencing. Thank you for sharing your insights.
Thank you, Suzanne. This was something I needed to hear.
for real, the body does its own thing.
it reacts in unsuspected ways for me. I can only observe and speak kindness into it. There is nothing I can do to control how it "should" react in certain situations it just does and does not give a f*ck about should and should nots.
Your open sharing is helping me tremendously. Thank you.
Beautiful,, Thank you Suzanne.
shoutout suzanne
Köszönjük!
Thanks so much ♡ ♡ ♡
@@suzanne-chang ❤️❤️❤️
edit: you cleared up something i commented on later in the vid. can't seem to delete
It's funny how the truth really exposes that we were never social creatures...humans are only social out of fear of being alone. You are always alone, it's just a flimsy "you" character, lose that and then it's jus calm neutral nothingness. You think back, and go hmm...it's crazy that everyone around is so...bullshitted into playing a role in a play that they never auditioned for lol. Yet they are just being miserable and trying to control the nothingness...fear.
I guess that's the Ego for you, does what it does forcing people to play a role and be miserable trying to control everything out of fear.
@@AwakeningWings Though it's unaware of that. Would be like a planet realizing it's a planet, can't handle that. Nothing can handle the realization that it's nothing lol.
@@ItApproaches True lol
@@AwakeningWings :)
@@ItApproaches ☺
😂😂. Great episode. To honestly express oneself, isn’t this what everyone would like to be able to do? There seems to be a vocabulary that ties in to expression of non-duality. But it tends to break apart in favor of comparison, distance, weight and time. Such are the makings for sadness and fear. For most.
Its surprising to see this in others but ever more shocking to see it in oneself. Challenges will come and knock non duality into all things quantum- endless possibilities, impossibilities and confusion.
Is there an art, action or practice which conditions the body towards unconditional freedom? A freedom to be oneself. A freedom to be oneself, even in stormy weather?
The practice could be meditation.
Phuckin finally!
Balance the yin yang!
To the universe you are almost nothing!
To yourself, you are everything!
Thanks for the helpful sharing
This is mind blowingly obvious!! Doesn't need to be expressed or explained in the end.
Good job on expressing the ND perspective. It is indeed very difficult to put into words. Most will not understand, and that's OK. It's a natural course of the flow, beyond simple, but most peeps' minds tend to step in with all sorts of distractions and agendas. Happy to see you seem to have settled into the Realization.
Thanks so much for expressing your experience Suzanne. ❤ Totally relate.
the claiming of the thoughtm if there, is also the environment :)
UNADULTERATED 😘
Such a funny word I rarely use…
Funny how we never say “adulterated”
Are we saying that adults mess things up!?
Diluting down joy and sorrow just the same 🙃
Everything is looking
Easy😉😊
Some might regard this quote, perhaps, as not relevant. But I think perhaps it is: "We might ask ourselves: if there is totality to begin with, where does ignorance come from? If ignorance emerges, it seems to imply a flaw in the totality. That's a very interesting question, an extremely good question. And in fact, that seems to be the whole message! Therefore, the Buddha and the great teachers aren't inspired to give a secondhand answer to that question. It has to be a firsthand answer, one that comes from you. In fact, the answer to that question might be the password to enlightenment. We might go as far as to say that."
This is from: "The Future is Open - Good Karma, Bad Karma, and Beyond Karma", by Chogyam Trungpa (edited by Carolyn Gimian).
I love you!!!
audio is fine thank you
Thanks for sharing your thoughts; I really enjoyed listening to you and your soothing voice.
PS the audio was just fine 😊
this person makes me depressed, no zest of life. awakening my ass. but i still love her.
chasing risers with dries
is how
I prefer to fish flies
Wouldn't say the story stops, it just continues on without "you" participating or believing it lol. Also as for memories...don' trust memories. They are just another layer to the self, a piece of the diorama, one of ego's many tricks. You can be amused by them but they aren't "real." You can read a book that you really enjoyed and years later you still recall that book. But the book was still just a story...completely phony lol.
@@pamdarnaby :)
Exactly ☺
What is your take on psychic mediums, NDE experiences, seeing departed people, souls and angels?
Oh, Lord! Not another one
I hear you, "nothing can describe it.". Enlightenment what the hell is that. Just a word that attempts to describe the indescribable. All we can do is talk but nothing Is learnt until we walk the talk. We can't know the path we can only walk it here and now.
Darlin ...beautiful BEAUTIFUL sweet love that you are! ...you are EVERYTHING!!!! you are ego ...and super ego ...strip away the body ...strip away the mind . What you left with? BEINGNESS .. you create your own ego...but its not ego...ego is something placed on you...what ypu are doing...isCHARACTER! Self made! TWICE BORN!
I know exactly what you are describing. That falling away is just the nothingness having less egoic fragments in it. Less attachment to shit. As for saying people wont understand, ain't that the truth lol. People don't want to understand, cause that would change or destroy the current "them".
Besides most people "understand" this mentally; as a mental concept.
@@AwakeningWings Most assume we are being emo or edgelords or new age philosophers or some crazy person lol.
@@ItApproaches Exactly. It's because they've never experienced it fully. And I bet some aren't meant to experience the awakening.
@@AwakeningWings If all characters woke up, there would be no dream going on...no story playing out, no experiences to experience. Would be a blank boringness lol. Some are meant to be hobo's, some robbers, some killers, some the victims of aid killers, some doctors, some celebs, so on and so on. Some are meant to end up enlightened. If Fate chose you be grateful, though that to is moot as Fate chose all, so the point is be grateful regardless.
Looking at this me or not me is just a reinforcement of concept even if it's meant to be a way of negating the concept itself, it still sticks around. It may be better without all these distinctions and to see them as irrelevant and lose interest in it. The focus can lift off it and shift towards the nurture of Spirit, a kind of lightning rod that dispels all the mental machinations.
Me toooooo that I realised must live outside society because only this environment
I'm also struggling to even feel the story... I even miss its heaviness
🌷
You're becoming the moon!
What isnt misinterprated 💯. This is how I am baaaaby😂.
Meditation technqiue for you ...go to a quiet place ....put your on your heart....do a couple push ups or something to get your blood flowing ....that pulsing...is GOD ! God...lives in your HEART!
Your internal state ...creates your outter being . You co create your own being . Learning to FEELLLL!
Theravadans would understand, all phenomena (the truth of our reality) through the lens of the "Three Characteristics" that of Annicca-Dukkha-Annata
Mam.. amazing,let me know books,Hindi,eng.,so thanks.
You still have to work hard to make a living whatever fantasy you believe in
I'm also feeling the "what's gonna happen if the story leaves... "
The author writes another story. Libraries are always getting new stories. Earth is a library of human stories. There will always be more stories.
@@ItApproachesWhat a lovely thought. ❤️
@@ptanji Is it? Sure, why not lol.
In my experience, the story can still be known but it is now recognised as a story whereas before, it was wholeheartedly lived. It's like when you have a physical book, where you can open it when desired and close it at will. You are not lost in the story 24/7.
@@brigitteh4825 The asleep are in the book, the awake are outside of the book. Kind of a modern take on Plato's Cave.
Sounds like Liberation (or Moksha) is approaching. Hint: no more emotions (at least for a while) 🙂
fck yea
"No desire for this to happen for others". This is a big thing that devides false teachers from truth speakers. As if it is the one big solution for everything😅instead it can lead to unbearable problems when the "I" dissolves which should be talked about much more
You remind me of Lumalee from the Super Mario Brothers movie.
Floating World / Fleeting Ships.
I like you.
Do you regret awakening?
The last time you would feel it This Way = The last time you would feel it as separate from you?
Magnetics push & pull, Rufus Thomas hit & miss .Ectoplasmic/8.
yep...there is more More continually being Being... now Presence, aka Agape, just Is's.
🙂