Dylan, thanks for sharing. When I hear your story about your marriage that lasted 3 years, my first reaction is "What were they thinking??" when you decided to get married. You talked a lot about lessons learned while you were married, and after the marriage ended, but not a lot about what both of you were thinking before you got married. Considering that marriage is a legal contract that can have a lot of complications to get out of, it should not be rushed into. Both partners should be ready and committed to the long haul. And while you may have been ready yourself, how do really know if your partner is? You really can't know for certain, especially if you haven't known your prospective partner very long, and especially if you are younger (under 30). I think there could be another video in your future about what to look for and how to prepare BEFORE you decide to get married and when you know you are ready to get married. Peace and love to you.
I was definitely ready and excited. My parents dated for a year and then were married when my mother was only 18. They’ve been together 38 years and still doing great. So age and time frame didn’t phase me much. Thank you so much! ❤️
Again, I relate to your story. I was with my husband for over 22 years. But I wasn't happy and became depressed. I had to leave so moved across country. It has been 3 years now and we have remained friends and still care about each other. As time passes, I miss the good times but then recall the reasons I left. Glad you are doing so well. I am too. Thanks for your openess.
When Dylan smiles it is like the sun is shining. What a gift to bestow on your boyfriend .... lucky guy. There is a technique called fair fighting because there is a reason
Part #2 (because my phone keypad sucks) a subject for each arguement. Do not call names, that is trying to gain leverage or points or advantage. State actions or behaviors and how that makes you feel. Do not bring up past fights .... that is a separate arguement because issues are not resolved. Make up. Hug and kiss. Do not go to bed angry. Dylan, you are a wonderful example of learning and growing.
Dylan, fulfilled, fortunate and happy will be the boyfriend who one day is lucky enough to become your husband. He will have found a jewel because that is what you are.
Dylan-As we grow and go in and out if Relationships, we personally always learn from what went wrong! I feel that it made me grow as a person and come to realize what is needed to make a Relationship Truly Work!! Communication and Give and Take is the Magical Key. After Sex-There has to be a Loving, Trusting Bond and Being Interested in your Partners Interests, although they may not be yours!! ❤️❤️💜💜👍🏼👍🏼
Dylan, I was with my spouse from age 17 when we moved into together for 16 years until I had to get a temporary protective order and put all of my spouse’s belongings in 32 giant contractor sized garbage bags on the front porch per the judge’s order. It was like my spouse died. I couldn’t get out of bed. From the 1st week of November when we split till December 24, I eventually couldn’t breathe. My Mom came over to check on me. Had she not, I would’ve died! I had double pneumonia! Honest communication in a safe place that you both build together where you are free to state your true feelings is the key to a lifelong relationship. The first time either party doesn’t express their truth, it’s over! Me and my spouse never argued!
You seem so real, I'm sorry you got divorced,I lost my husband to COVID in 21. Like you I went into a very, very, dark place. I to relapsed. I did boy if you know the slang. I didn't want to be here without him. I got help. You're so special, and it's hard for me to understand who could divorce someone as kind soul, and fine on the eyes also. I was blessed by God for sending me a soulmate, and it was very complicated. Neither live you in Christ sincerely Greg from Maryville Tennessee. Be blessed
I binge-watched your videos from a few years ago till now and I saw how much you have grown and matured. Being 65 now, I can appreciate how you have learned lessons some people have not gotten a chance to learn. Being introspective and evaluating relationships shows your growth. Facing the world with a new set of eyes, I think you will be more than fine. I only ask you to be honest with yourself and value your opinions and worth. Be the partner you would like to have and never look for your happiness inside another. Realize you complete yourself, I feel these are some lessons, that took me 65 years to understand, I feel you will learn these facts sooner as you are developing them now. I look forward to your next video young man, may God bless and keep you.
A straight friend of mine once said to me, "Marriage is not so hard if you make your partner your best friend." I'm not sure you can "make" a friend; I think it more likely that you run into one, then let the hormones percolate to their hearts' content, but that will probably pass, given time. Still, you have your friend.
Unfortunately most relationships are made up of fractured people needing someone else to make them a "whole" person. That's why they fail. No one else can make up for your own inadequacies. The best, long lasting relationships are the ones where either person can walk away. They don't because the other person is not needing anything other than affection. Being independent is very attractive and needing nothing is a sign of strength. The Law of Attraction.
The good thing is that you are growing from your experiences. God put everyone in our lives for a reason, sometimes it's for the good, and sometimes it's for us to learn.
Communication makes a Successful Pairing. Treat this as a Life Lesson ---- now your'e more prepared for Prince Charming!! 17 years here with my guy...lots of Ups & downs ...Communication is KEY! Ps. why are you sooooo Fuking Adorable?
Communication makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Two people who truly love one another will find ways to work through their differences. We are each responsible for own feelings but share equal responsibility for our relationship with one another. It is more a matter of compatibility. Thanks for sharing, Dylan, and thanks for loving me! You are super!
You have summed up it all well. You have said many things that people should do to keep a relationship healthy. Communicating is important. Being honest with one another.
Dylan your subscribers are going up because your content from your point of view is interesting. Keep it up. i glance at other comments too and there is a lot of agreement that you are a very mature young man.👍🏼
For such a young guy.. you make such good sense.. and you are a kind and caring man who is willing to share what you have learned.. You are so right about communication.. it is definitely the key to a good relationship.. Btw.. really appreciate your honesty.. you inspire others because you admit the mistakes we all make.. the difference is that you took what you learned and make the best of it.. and you got rid of the things in your life that were hurting you.. It is obvious listening to you how much you have been hurt.. even so, you are full of courage and strength, Dylan.. and your kindness in sharing your story will help many.. Take care, mate.. always be the great guy you know yourself to be🌹 Jen999💙
Relationships, as I’ve learnt, I’m gonna be good if the grounding is right. Marriage on the other hand, especially in our community is something of an issue because of the impermanence of things in life. Nothing last forever. I’m not saying that marriage is wrong, but whenever we go into anything in life, we should always keep in mind the impermanence of life, which means that we enjoy every moment of what is happening to us. I live by the principal of “momento mori” which means simply ‘ you will die’, so taking it to consideration this stoic principle, it means that every moment that you have in your life should be lived to its fullest and enjoy it because of that impermanence of life. We come together we get together, we form bonds, those bonds break, we heal. We learn from what we’ve been through, and then we move forward, having learned from the lessons of the past. I really love your content and I hope one day I can get me a southern who speaks like you😂
Dylan I have found my true companion and partner your videos have set me free please keep it up and look forward to seeing more videos I am in Australia
You'll learn that throughout your life, experiences and how you deal/dealt with them can guide you down a more peaceful path....if one is inclined to do so.
I just want to give you a big hug. I went thru a similar “shock” divorce and it was a gut punch. Took me a year to put myself back together. Hoping you can continue to heal.
Your posts never cease to amaze me! I'm sure your videos are helping many younger people deal with the complexities of Gay life. Especially those in MAGAand southern states.
I made a similar mistake the first time. We found we were not compatible under the sheets. Thereafter I'm into developing a relationship daytime and nighttime together before any LT commitment is considered. There is nothing worse than a gay couple discovering after marriage they have completely different sex drives
Oh wow. This happend to me, kinda. I was in a relationship for about a year and I had no sex drive, for a few reasons. I ended it bcuz he deserved more than I could give. We are still friends and were both in relationships ❤
Alot of people are in relationships because they are needy. They are dependent on the other person. Sometimes it fails because one person is draining the others energy.
My partner and I have been together for just over 43 years. We did get married in 2011 because we found common-law marriage here in Ontario is one of the weakest in Canada so to reinforce our wills and so no one could challenge our intents, we got legally married. We didn't want to get married because philosophically we didn't need any religion or government to approve of our relationship. Common-law marriage is not the same as legal marriage legally. If you do get married, at least here in the province of Ontario, your previous wills even done with your partner as inheritor of your property, become null and void and so you need to redo it in order to have a legal will.
You can simply both sign beneficiary statements, specifying where your assets are to be distributed, and it goes directly to that person upon death. It takes priority over a will, is creditor proof, it bypasses probate, and best of all it is cheap. Most banks have them, and you can fill it out and have the witnesses from the bank. Keep one copy at the bank on file and keep one yourself.
Dylan, I love to listen to your stories. You are spot on and always tell the truth. But I am looking for the same thing the best friend and a lover. Just not easy to fine.
Sorry about your divorce.. going thru the same thing.. 14 years together, 7 years married... it's like a death.. feel sooo fucking LOST.. but we'll walk it off and get back on the horse eventually.. :*
Been with my partner almost 20 years. He has his house, I have mine, and we have no interest in getting married. We like the commitment, but not the feeling of being legally trapped. Instead of a marriage license we met with a lawyer: Singed wills, healthcare POA, durable POA etc... Btw... us old queens were the ones that marched in all those rallies and fought for the rights we have to marry. Keep carrying the torch young ones... there's more work to be done and more rights denied to us. I don't know who the hell is running the pride movement these days, but's it's gone nuts with all these pronouns. It's like the movement has gone one leap forward and two leaps back. And it's turning off our straight allies whom we still need.
Hi i was with someone for 8years he asked me if we can have a open relationship i said no at that time hiv was going a round he start to sleep a round on me that y we broke up by robert
@@joez3706 I've yet to hear of an open relationship working. And I've seen a load of those experiments. Every one that I have seen has failed and ended in heartache for one person
I winced when you said, "my failed marriage." Try using, "my first attempt at marriage" or "an earlier marriage attempt." You did not fail you were just pruned back and pruning is necessary to promote future growth. Go easy on yourself. Let the comment section offer up the hard knocks.......just kidding.
Long before same-sex marriage was a thing, straight people were asking "Why get married?" and saying stuff like, "I'll never get married" and a bunch of my straight friends never did, despite staying together 30, 40 years or more. So, now that same-sex marriage is normalized, somewhat, is there pressure on people to do this? Or, is there still a clear choice in people's minds - they can get married or not, and that is a personal decision, not something that they really should do because.... otherwise we are "living in sin", or whatever?
Never get married! The same for the modern straight man. People are too intrinsic and men are not compatible. Two of the same things are bound to come into conflict. Just have relations with people don’t try to build lifetime connections with them.
Dylan, thanks for sharing. When I hear your story about your marriage that lasted 3 years, my first reaction is "What were they thinking??" when you decided to get married. You talked a lot about lessons learned while you were married, and after the marriage ended, but not a lot about what both of you were thinking before you got married. Considering that marriage is a legal contract that can have a lot of complications to get out of, it should not be rushed into. Both partners should be ready and committed to the long haul. And while you may have been ready yourself, how do really know if your partner is? You really can't know for certain, especially if you haven't known your prospective partner very long, and especially if you are younger (under 30). I think there could be another video in your future about what to look for and how to prepare BEFORE you decide to get married and when you know you are ready to get married. Peace and love to you.
I was definitely ready and excited. My parents dated for a year and then were married when my mother was only 18. They’ve been together 38 years and still doing great. So age and time frame didn’t phase me much. Thank you so much! ❤️
Good honest communication is always the key.
Again, I relate to your story. I was with my husband for over 22 years. But I wasn't happy and became depressed. I had to leave so moved across country. It has been 3 years now and we have remained friends and still care about each other. As time passes, I miss the good times but then recall the reasons I left. Glad you are doing so well. I am too. Thanks for your openess.
When Dylan smiles it is like the sun is shining. What a gift to bestow on your boyfriend .... lucky guy.
There is a technique called fair fighting because there is a reason
Part #2 (because my phone keypad sucks) a subject for each arguement. Do not call names, that is trying to gain leverage or points or advantage. State actions or behaviors and how that makes you feel. Do not bring up past fights .... that is a separate arguement because issues are not resolved. Make up. Hug and kiss. Do not go to bed angry. Dylan, you are a wonderful example of learning and growing.
Dylan, fulfilled, fortunate and happy will be the boyfriend who one day is lucky enough to become your husband. He will have found a jewel because that is what you are.
Dylan-As we grow and go in and out if Relationships, we personally always learn from what went wrong! I feel that it made me grow as a person and come to realize what is needed to make a Relationship Truly Work!! Communication and Give and Take is the Magical Key. After Sex-There has to be a Loving, Trusting Bond and Being Interested in your Partners Interests, although they may not be yours!! ❤️❤️💜💜👍🏼👍🏼
Dylan, I was with my spouse from age 17 when we moved into together for 16 years until I had to get a temporary protective order and put all of my spouse’s belongings in 32 giant contractor sized garbage bags on the front porch per the judge’s order. It was like my spouse died. I couldn’t get out of bed. From the 1st week of November when we split till December 24, I eventually couldn’t breathe. My Mom came over to check on me. Had she not, I would’ve died! I had double pneumonia! Honest communication in a safe place that you both build together where you are free to state your true feelings is the key to a lifelong relationship. The first time either party doesn’t express their truth, it’s over! Me and my spouse never argued!
You seem so real, I'm sorry you got divorced,I lost my husband to COVID in 21. Like you I went into a very, very, dark place. I to relapsed. I did boy if you know the slang. I didn't want to be here without him. I got help. You're so special, and it's hard for me to understand who could divorce someone as kind soul, and fine on the eyes also. I was blessed by God for sending me a soulmate, and it was very complicated. Neither live you in Christ sincerely Greg from Maryville Tennessee. Be blessed
Dylan, I’m going through it now. It’s great to listen to you. THANK you SO MUCH for sharing yourself with us. You are gold!
The horror of formal legal contracts..marriage..is the consequences of failure..dollars, pain, lack of growth.
I binge-watched your videos from a few years ago till now and I saw how much you have grown and matured. Being 65 now, I can appreciate how you have learned lessons some people have not gotten a chance to learn. Being introspective and evaluating relationships shows your growth. Facing the world with a new set of eyes, I think you will be more than fine. I only ask you to be honest with yourself and value your opinions and worth. Be the partner you would like to have and never look for your happiness inside another. Realize you complete yourself, I feel these are some lessons, that took me 65 years to understand, I feel you will learn these facts sooner as you are developing them now. I look forward to your next video young man, may God bless and keep you.
A straight friend of mine once said to me, "Marriage is not so hard if you make your partner your best friend." I'm not sure you can "make" a friend; I think it more likely that you run into one, then let the hormones percolate to their hearts' content, but that will probably pass, given time. Still, you have your friend.
Unfortunately most relationships are made up of fractured people needing someone else to make them a "whole" person. That's why they fail. No one else can make up for your own inadequacies. The best, long lasting relationships are the ones where either person can walk away. They don't because the other person is not needing anything other than affection. Being independent is very attractive and needing nothing is a sign of strength. The Law of Attraction.
The good thing is that you are growing from your experiences. God put everyone in our lives for a reason, sometimes it's for the good, and sometimes it's for us to learn.
We love You Dylan! Much happiness and continued growing SUCCESS! 😊
Communication makes a Successful Pairing. Treat this as a Life Lesson ---- now your'e more prepared for Prince Charming!! 17 years here with my guy...lots of Ups & downs ...Communication is KEY! Ps. why are you sooooo Fuking Adorable?
Communication makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Two people who truly love one another will find ways to work through their differences. We are each responsible for own feelings but share equal responsibility for our relationship with one another. It is more a matter of compatibility. Thanks for sharing, Dylan, and thanks for loving me! You are super!
You have summed up it all well. You have said many things that people should do to keep a relationship healthy. Communicating is important. Being honest with one another.
Dylan your subscribers are going up because your content from your point of view is interesting. Keep it up. i glance at other comments too and there is a lot of agreement that you are a very mature young man.👍🏼
For such a young guy.. you make such good sense.. and you are a kind and caring man who is willing to share what you have learned..
You are so right about communication.. it is definitely the key to a good relationship..
Btw.. really appreciate your honesty.. you inspire others because you admit the mistakes we all make.. the difference is that you took what you learned and make the best of it.. and you got rid of the things in your life that were hurting you..
It is obvious listening to you how much you have been hurt.. even so, you are full of courage and strength, Dylan.. and your kindness in sharing your story will help many..
Take care, mate.. always be the great guy you know yourself to be🌹
Jen999💙
Relationships, as I’ve learnt, I’m gonna be good if the grounding is right. Marriage on the other hand, especially in our community is something of an issue because of the impermanence of things in life. Nothing last forever.
I’m not saying that marriage is wrong, but whenever we go into anything in life, we should always keep in mind the impermanence of life, which means that we enjoy every moment of what is happening to us.
I live by the principal of “momento mori” which means simply ‘ you will die’, so taking it to consideration this stoic principle, it means that every moment that you have in your life should be lived to its fullest and enjoy it because of that impermanence of life.
We come together we get together, we form bonds, those bonds break, we heal. We learn from what we’ve been through, and then we move forward, having learned from the lessons of the past.
I really love your content and I hope one day I can get me a southern who speaks like you😂
Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m sorry for your pain and suffering.
So true!! Communication means everything between each person!
Great advice 👍 ❤
Dylan I have found my true companion and partner your videos have set me free please keep it up and look forward to seeing more videos I am in Australia
You'll learn that throughout your life, experiences and how you deal/dealt with them can guide you down a more peaceful path....if one is inclined to do so.
I just want to give you a big hug. I went thru a similar “shock” divorce and it was a gut punch. Took me a year to put myself back together. Hoping you can continue to heal.
I love you Dylan every day is a new day as you said things happened for a reason but remember you are not alone hugs 🤗
Your posts never cease to amaze me! I'm sure your videos are helping many younger people deal with the complexities of Gay life. Especially those in MAGAand southern states.
thanks though hard to listen to the honesty and hurt of it all. I'm impressed with your genuine ss and empathy for people, so nice.
You're a good man, Dylan!
Just Amazing 👏 😊
I made a similar mistake the first time. We found we were not compatible under the sheets.
Thereafter I'm into developing a relationship daytime and nighttime together before any LT commitment is considered. There is nothing worse than a gay couple discovering after marriage they have completely different sex drives
Didn't you discover this before you married ?
Not really. Seperate nearby cities. Usually a couple times a week meetup. I need much more
Oh wow. This happend to me, kinda. I was in a relationship for about a year and I had no sex drive, for a few reasons. I ended it bcuz he deserved more than I could give. We are still friends and were both in relationships ❤
Very insightful, thx for sharing I luv the channel
😮😊
Alot of people are in relationships because they are needy. They are dependent on the other person. Sometimes it fails because one person is draining the others energy.
My partner and I have been together for just over 43 years. We did get married in 2011 because we found common-law marriage here in Ontario is one of the weakest in Canada so to reinforce our wills and so no one could challenge our intents, we got legally married. We didn't want to get married because philosophically we didn't need any religion or government to approve of our relationship. Common-law marriage is not the same as legal marriage legally. If you do get married, at least here in the province of Ontario, your previous wills even done with your partner as inheritor of your property, become null and void and so you need to redo it in order to have a legal will.
You can simply both sign beneficiary statements, specifying where your assets are to be distributed, and it goes directly to that person upon death. It takes priority over a will, is creditor proof, it bypasses probate, and best of all it is cheap. Most banks have them, and you can fill it out and have the witnesses from the bank. Keep one copy at the bank on file and keep one yourself.
Thank you for the prospective. Love your videos, love you.❤❤
Dylan, I love to listen to your stories. You are spot on and always tell the truth. But I am looking for the same thing the best friend and a lover. Just not easy to fine.
Sorry about your divorce.. going thru the same thing.. 14 years together, 7 years married... it's like a death.. feel sooo fucking LOST.. but we'll walk it off and get back on the horse eventually.. :*
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Hi dear ❤❤❤god bless you ❤️
Been with my partner almost 20 years. He has his house, I have mine, and we have no interest in getting married. We like the commitment, but not the feeling of being legally trapped. Instead of a marriage license we met with a lawyer: Singed wills, healthcare POA, durable POA etc... Btw... us old queens were the ones that marched in all those rallies and fought for the rights we have to marry. Keep carrying the torch young ones... there's more work to be done and more rights denied to us. I don't know who the hell is running the pride movement these days, but's it's gone nuts with all these pronouns. It's like the movement has gone one leap forward and two leaps back. And it's turning off our straight allies whom we still need.
i like that. I too don't believe in marriage. My thing is....if it ain't broke....don't fix it !
His loss my friend. Your accent is very sexxxy. I love a man with a southern accent.❤😅
What accent? I don't hear an accent 🤣Much love to you Dylan from a Kentucky Boy ❤
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
A separation or a divorce is like a death, and you will recover!
This advice will be useful for me when I get married
In the afterlife probably 😂😜
Sometimes you're a great spy and you catch him cheaping!
Hi i was with someone for 8years he asked me if we can have a open relationship i said no at that time hiv was going a round he start to sleep a round on me that y we broke up by robert
you did the right thing. The second those words are spoken - it's game over for the relationship.
@johnmc2514 why do you say that?
@@joez3706 because open relationships never have any longevity. Humans are too prone to jealousy. It always ends in tears.
@@johnmc2514 Not always
@@joez3706 I've yet to hear of an open relationship working. And I've seen a load of those experiments. Every one that I have seen has failed and ended in heartache for one person
Hello Dylan✋🙏🏻👍💯
People broke up be geting married or after my dad and mom broke up be for i was born not married i am lote older than you by robert
I winced when you said, "my failed marriage." Try using, "my first attempt at marriage" or "an earlier marriage attempt." You did not fail you were just pruned back and pruning is necessary to promote future growth. Go easy on yourself. Let the comment section offer up the hard knocks.......just kidding.
Long before same-sex marriage was a thing, straight people were asking "Why get married?" and saying stuff like, "I'll never get married" and a bunch of my straight friends never did, despite staying together 30, 40 years or more. So, now that same-sex marriage is normalized, somewhat, is there pressure on people to do this? Or, is there still a clear choice in people's minds - they can get married or not, and that is a personal decision, not something that they really should do because.... otherwise we are "living in sin", or whatever?
You need to read Dr John Gottman
💯
Listen to This American Life episode *The Sanctity Of Marriage*
Good morning darlin
Never get married! The same for the modern straight man. People are too intrinsic and men are not compatible. Two of the same things are bound to come into conflict. Just have relations with people don’t try to build lifetime connections with them.