My narc mother ruined most of my childhood years, and her disciples were her 3sons and her weak husband.They were exactly like a cult, using me, only daughter, as their scapegoat and source of gossip. I am so thankful to have gotten out of there for the rest of my life. Also I got out being an empath. Best is... Try net to give these people any space in one's thoughts... Ever
One of the first things that a narcissist teaches their victim is that they’re not supposed to have a voice there’s not supposed to be any type of confrontation because if there is there are consequences they will make you pay for having a voice that was one of the hardest things that I had to overcome now my voice is loud and strong and yes there are consequences for having a confrontation consequences for me
If you ever worked or lived with a narcist my advice is … Do not live or work with narcissists. If your boss is a narcissist, quit, if your spouse is a naricissist reevaluate your vows, consider annulment. These personal fulfillments annoy narcissists so they will stalk you to destroy you for rejecting their narcissism.
Looking back at my life I should have just quit my job and left my wife I married a high spectrum narcissist I ended up working for a person that was I mean it was just ridiculous screaming and yelling at me in front of customers I should’ve quit that job along time ago now years later I am almost pretty much recovered but looking back I should’ve never have allowed myself to be around that type of toxicity it took me years to recover and by the way my mom Was a malignant narcissist right underneath a Socio path that high in the spectrum No wonder I became victim to so many narcissist I was conditioned and trained by her she was literally arrested for murder once but got out Now if a narcissist even remotely comes near me or makes a comment I’m like a pitbull I will tear them to shreds my boundaries are ridiculously strong and I have a voice now I was taught to never have a voice I was taught to go along with what is told of me to do and if I do not there are repercussions not anymore by the way that’s the first thing that the narcissist conditions a person to believe in that is if you have any type of confrontation there are severe repercussions And you know what now if there is a confrontation yes there are severe Repercussions from me
Thank you for the videos. I cut ties with my sister last December and I feel at peace. Every time she came into town for a visit it turned out to be a total nightmare. She would comment on my weight, my finances, my home and my friends. I had gone through a surgical procedure last fall and was laid up for a month and the surgeon gave me pain medication (eight in total). My sister was convinced that I was addicted and tried to convince the rest of the family that I was a drug addict. When that did not work out she tried to call my therapist! It took me fifty five years to finally walk away from the abuse.
I outsmart them everyday by not reacting to anything they do. They are invisible... I can't see them... I don't care about them. They try and try to piss me off.... I just act like I'm in an alternate universe.
It’s hard to grieve the person I truly lost...ME! ...and the emotions that come with that... It’s a mixed emotion when I realize how I have been controlled & manipulated & how horrible someone I believed with all my heart, loved me... and the anger at myself for accepting & tolerating the behaviors! I will never understand how a person can be such a horrible human being! But that lack of understanding is what got me in the hell I have lived for 26 years. ...my gratitude every day is that I found these videos & escaped!
Absolutely the best way to outsmart them is by leaving them, going NO Contact, and blocking them from all Social Media, and your phone! (their friends and family included) Don't do half way measures. Just disappear from them.
That is the truth. They are so horrible and relentless, and vengeful, that If you give them the tiniest opening they will come back with double the evil. Bad bad bad people! Get away and stay away.
Jill is correct the narcissist doesn't have a conscience . They wanna us to react so they can make us act outta character and make us look like the bad guy or girl .
So true. My wife did this after she cheated on me with my daughters 4th grade teacher. Made me look like the crazy one. My kids and I are in therapy and she's not. Narcs don't get help. They think their shit doesn't stink.
@The Last Spartan it's coined DARVO as well. deny, attack, reverse, victim, offender. A well used narcissistic strategy to control victims. Bloody horrible behaviour.
Frances Bernard here. Finding whatever you can from their rhetoric that you can agree with while responding with a short summary statement using their own words in your own context instead works like a charm every time.
Every single word you said is the absolute truth. I don’t know if people really truly realize exactly how dangerous a narcissist is but I’m happy to see that there’s more & more information and discussion about this awful horrible and nearly impossible personality disorder to deal with and to educate us victims of this disorder as I’m sure those who are still in these narcissistic relationship don’t even realize it. I know I didn’t notice for years, too many years. But God bless everyone out there who’s putting information out there to help us, educate us and help us HEAL ❤️🙏🏼
Mirroring the emotion back to the narcissist. This could be very beneficial when one must interact with them. Your information is the most helpful I've found. Thank you!
Thank you for these videos, they pull me out of some of my worst moods when I'm by myself and ruminating. It truly takes a professional to help us who are still in a dark place feeling like we we're the problem and not the narcissist.
They put you on an emotional roller coaster that leaves a person exhausted look back at all the stories all the confrontations and all these moments that the narcissist put you through ask yourself what are they real or were they made up remember who you were before the narcissist now look at yourself see everything you have to regain that’s what they took from you
He was triangulating me and was going on and on about this other girl..."she has such cute eyes like it's unbelievable.." and I went like..."right? She has the cutest eyes everyone has been telling me about it." Omg, the look on his face was priceless! He didn't expect me to go that direction so he began figiting. He wanted me to go the jealous way but nahh. I have gone no contact and as we speak, he is with her and am at peace 😌
Thanks so much for these enlightened techniques, Jill. Knowing now that we have such excellent defensive strategies in and of itself helps us to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Don't know what we'd do without your dedication to empowering the targets of NPD abuse. 1) Use the "don't absorb technique" 2) Mirror back the emotion they are trying to extract from you 3) Do not use facial expressions...employ simple straight-forward statements 4) Secretly plan your escape...go no contact...have a successful life
I wish every technique worked on every narcissistic situation, because it’s not that the techniques aren’t excellent, but that every situation is different and sometimes complex, involving others that support the narcissist.
True. Narcs will escalate until they force a reaction out of you if you stay around them. They (if a family member or friend) will destroy your vehicle or boat or other very expensive item and claim it was an "accident" always with plausible deniablity so you look like the bad guy for getting angry. Win/Win for them, Lose/Lose for you whether you react or not.
Reese Daniel yes, my mother wouldn’t destroy a vehicle but, when my sister wanted her to stay at my place a couple of years ago, I wouldn’t allow it. Something told me that my 2 cats would’ve been let out onto a busy street, if I were foolish enough to skip off to work, leaving her there. It would look like, to most, that I’m taking my pets above my mother and, yes, I was and don’t feel guilty about it, because I don’t let some Hellnado in my place, after she’s destroyed her own home and I am well aware that hurting or killing your pets is a wonderful way of sticking you with pain that the world tells you to get over immediately. So, I’m not having that.
@@treelover1050 I went by my gut and I knew myself well enough to know that, despite the fact that I and the law would hold me accountable for my actions, anything happen to my pets and I see a smirk on her face and my mother was going to be in Hell. Hell avoided, when I didn’t allow her to stay.
Excellent information. Thank you so much. I like the advice about turning the emotion back on them. I’ll have to practice not laughing when I see her response. You’re making a difference; I can feel the healing. I notice it most when I get triggered, and get that “yuck” feeling inside. But then I remind myself that the feeling used to be the norm, and is now only occasional. Progress!
I get triggered just be SEEING one of these vipers. Passed one on the road yesterday and it looked right at me. Had that heart palpitating anxiety for the rest of the day.
I spent about 12 years with my narcissist and had no idea that she was. Even years after the relationship was over, I constantly questioned why she had acted this way or that way, but could never put my finger on it. I felt battered and bruised like anyone can when a relationship ends. Six years into her new relationship, she proclaimed to be so happy and in love. From time to time, we would speak and she would always find a way to make "digs" at me and I chalked it off to her just being jealous of my new gf at the time. But then she went too far and began to say awful things that just were not true. And I thought to myself "who does that? Why is she doing this? She's so in love yet is consumed by hating me and she broke it off". She was STILL trying to hurt me years after we were over. I began to research and it took me awhile still, but I found the answers to all that had plagued me when it came to her behavior: narcissism. There should be textbooks in school and classes for this kind of thing.
Your videos have helped me so much. I can’t thank you enough for doing this. I always thought I was the crazy one in my family. I was also “too sensitive” and “so over dramatic” but in reality I was (am) an empath and living with two people with NPD, my mom and younger brother. I eventually moved out of my moms house and started dating someone else with NPD and ended up having 2 kids with him. After 7 years of mental, physical and sexual abuse I was finally able to leave. Of course during those 7 years I had no help from my mom or brother. I always blamed myself, thinking I was the common denominator. I always thought there was something wrong with me. You’re videos helped me recognize the exact things that they were all doing. I’ve been trying to go no contact with my mom and brother but it’s been hard. They are not grasping the concept and are telling me now that this is all my fault again and that I’m teaching my kids the wrong way to be. In fact, I’m trying to teach my kids to stand up for themselves and to always believe in themselves. They’ve seen the abuse that I’ve endured and they support my decision. I’ve tried to protect them to the absolute best of my ability. But when an abuser is ready to explode they don’t care who’s around. I just wanted to thank you. You’re name “the enlightened target” immediately struck a chord with me. That’s exactly what I feel like. I knew I was in the right place as soon as I heard that. Namaste.
Hey Jill, whenever I state things like “you seem really agitated today” the narcissist in my life says that it is because I am giving them “narcissistic supply”. I hinted at him that he exhibits narcissistic behavior and ever since then he has twisted the story to make me a narcissist.
Thanks, this really helps! I like to listen to your videos on the regular basis. I was impressed by accuracy of your analysis of narcissistic women. So true, so right on target! And, unfortunately, brutally truthful, accurate presentation. It is so sad, that those women exist ...
I did it and it works When she got upset, I shook my finger at her and only said, " Shame on you." Man She got dangerous -- scream, throwing, cursing... won't do that again.
it took me four years to actually start healing from the narcissist. you see, I 've read in many places that in order to heal from them one needed a full 2yrs. it took me longer bcz I was keeping contact with his mother who whom started doing his job for him on a regular basis everytime I took the kids to see her, or got invited for lunch or when she would show up very unexpectedly at my door step. Only after I went no contact with her as well is when I trully started to heal.
Thank you for the lovely videos. They are very helpful. Would you please consider making a video on the difference between a person with bpd and a covert narcissist. There is so much overlap between the two and the problem is that most videos on RUclips say that those with bpd root from trauma and are not really as bad as a narc. The overt narc is very different but the covert narc and a person with bpd confuses me way too much. Please if you can make this video would be much appreciated. Thank you 🤗
I called her out and exposed her dirty gaslighting, crazy making ways. It was like putting a PC in sleep mode! She came back with one hoover which I responded to neutrally and haven't heard from her ever since!
Great advice. Now with SOME angry narcissistic people in my life, when I tried this approach they actually became more enraged. Do you think that is a whole other issue?
mine hated me laughing all the time, I"m extremely giggley and it kicked his insecurities in, he would be constanly ask me what I was laughing at and I would laugh more. Drove him crazy ....Oh and don' t ever wear ear buds and text on your phone non stop laughing they are sooo insecure they think you are laughing at them, and they aren't getting the attention they need
@@jimmygallaway4416 Lmao if your gayness is on the same level of importance as my comment then you basically just admitted that being gay has no relevance here, Kudos to you for being the bigger person and admitting your error! Cheers!
when i read the book snakes in suits, i kept thinking that the reason for the book is honorable, but did they really examine? did they really look? i’ve personally dated and been married to people with psychology degrees. and after all the reading i’ve done, these several people are on the narc spectrum. slightly different and yet the same. and several of the several ladies also work within companies as HR or human resources and recruiting. imagine that? the narcs are within companies that manage people and sensitive info. one lady works for a fortune 500 company. maybe a top 25 aerospace company. and she is a narc i didn’t ever suspect until just recently. we hadn’t spoken in well over a year. no messages or emails. she manipulated me a few too many times when we dated and i just moved on. i suspected something was off with her despite her appearance. she always dressed up even on weekends. rarely saw her without makeup or dress up. actually never saw her without. out of nowhere just a month or so ago, she reaches out to discuss business. she wants a favor. i reluctantly say yes, but before i can lay out boundries and how the deal needs to work, she begins to lie and manipulate me and another. really fast from the first communication to just a couple days, i was pumped up and then discarded and lost a potential client. all within 72 hours so so. in that time she was manipulating her daughters, another biz prtner, me and a client. she was telling me how she was being deceitful with them and i could see how a narc isolated people to keep up her mask. her mask of harmlessness, with a pure manipulator behind it. it was a master class at warp speed. a master class in supply and discard. she wanted to see me react. jump when she said jump. then pushed me off the ledge. i kinds saw it as it was happening. scary and sooo disappointing. No Contact is a strange place to be. nowhere else i can go but no contact. great videos Jill. thank you.
what if the narcissist is married to your son? she has robbed me of contact with my son & grand daughter. Way too hard to let go of my son. After divorcing my overt narc husband, (I always figured he was just overly arrogant but really insecure boasting all the time about how 'right' he was & how much he knew people, also, would get fired - often. Always the other person's fault. Could not take ownership of his faults. I wonder what effect that had on my highly empathetic son. I was constantly trying to hold things together for the sake of my 2 boys but mostly this one. My heart is broken every day. I have not talked to him in over a year & have not seen my 3 year-old granddaughter either. I'm just putting this out there in the universe looking for a resolution with tears running down my face.
That's so sad. If it were me, then I would contact my son and ask him to meet me for an hour in a park (or other neutral territory), take a packed lunch and just try to find out what the problem is that you've not heard from him. I'd try to be very conciliatory and kind and try to keep my emotions calm and under control. I'm sure he can't be feeling great about the situation either and she has clearly made him choose. Good luck.
We were legally separated, and he comes by one night at supper. The 7 kids were all at the table. He shows up with one of those glow jackets, and boat shoes. And a plaque in his hand that said “Bless This Mess.” I never remarked about the boat gear and I took the plaque keeping a poker face. Now I think :Bless This Mess” was his own life subconsciously. Ive been narc free for over 50 years and there is no better thing than having inner peace in my life.
Info is on point. I am a master at these techniques, unfortunately. Please don’t underestimate their ability however to crank up the heat when they start to see their affect on u has slipped. I believe in some sense “acting” ur regular helpless self, (the u theyre most familiar with) can be used as a distraction tactic while u plan an escape. Control urself but also control the heat.
What can a persdon do if they have been brought to the lowest point in life and now have no money left, no job, no peace of mind and no way to go no contact ?
The best way to outsmart the narcissist is first of all in recognise when they are practising rcissism and then when you do offer them help to sort out the 'confusing to them' situation they are in if they are playing victim or just summarize the key positive points and observations for the day that they mentioned and agree with them on that while making sure to keep your distance from them. When you do that most of the time they flee from your inner circle of influence becasue you didn't react how they expected you to react to their behavior. For example if they complain of having been visited by ghosts while trying to make you believe there is such a thing then offer to help them sort out if there might be any utility bills maybe left behind by that 'ghost' they are all complaining about. Or if they tried to make you in an exclusive directed at you way to feel guilty for not caring about how beautiful your own dorm room organizational system is at the moment just agree with how you would love to hire an interior decorator to design your own personal space with lots of convenient affordable to have well lit storage spaces and that you would be delighted to hear any suggestions on a good interiror decorator to hire. For example, say, "I agree my own personal space organizational system could benefit from a profesional interior decorator. Do you have one to suggest to me?
I had to tell the narc who has been bothering me "I'm no longer a piece of meat that you can roast." Then he pretended like he didn't know what I was taking about.
Good advice. I wonder if all addicts whenever active in their addiction behave like narcissists. If those of us related to or working with an addict don't work on ourselves always when outsmarting the narcissist and by attending support groups and by being in some other kind of supportive community during and after being affected by the behavior of an addict we could end up becoming sicker both in body mind and soul than they are. When working on ourselves while sticking to plans on getting away from having to be their 24/7 care giver don't become surpirsed if next in dissapointment when not getting any negative narcissistic supply when they tell you and everyone else next from time to time that you are like a baby who cannot ever seem to look after herself [or himself] Don't ever fall for that undermining of your self-confidence in being able to strike out on your own.
Can you please do a video explaining the differences and similarities between C-PTSD & Vulnerable Narcissism? How can someone know which one they are? Is it possible to be both?
I actually just told my exwife last week why are you always angry? because she is and I havnt heard back yet but I know this week is my visitation weekend coming up this is always a bad time always
How do you outsmart one that pays and or bribes others for informationn to monitor you (not you) so to speak? How do you get beyond that manipulation? Besides the one individual I know that abused her (the one conducting the smear campaign) privileges at a certain telecommunications company to keep tabs on my wherabouts/activities.. how do you get beyond that.. I also remember a few friends/associates over the last 20 or so years telling me that my own father has tried to bribe them or other people to keep tabs on me. That is just one aspect of the manipulation I have had to outsmart over the years and yet still can't get ahead of it. Then I have a whole different apsect that involves political criminals, that have compromised things and created a whole other avenue of obstacles. When I see what is happening in our society today, what are so called leaders are doing to people, it is exactly what I have lived through, a constant never ending invasion and overstepping of boundaries. I don't believe I have ever had one shred of privacy or anything to myself, not once. How do you get beyond that? Because it is a much deeper issue than what most normal, day to day people experience or see on the surface.
Oh boy time to grey rock them and now the CCTV Cameras are soon going to be installed for the Narcissist Neighbors. Don't give them a inch because they will always want more.
Sometimes maybe more benign narcissists even just make you laugh all the time, with well thought out jokes. I still laugh but I'm more aware and observant. It can throw you off a bit if you're trying to be focused. They just want you to notice them.
After 25 yrs of abuse..... I can't stand how great it feels to sleep and take naps whenever I wish!!!!!!
YES!!!!!! 🙌🏻 Naps and self love are amazing!!! And, with NO judgment!
“Narcissists don’t have a conscience.” Explains a lot.
Never take them seriously. Don't let them get you off your center.
My narc mother ruined most of my childhood years, and her disciples were her 3sons and her weak husband.They were exactly like a cult, using me, only daughter, as their scapegoat and source of gossip. I am so thankful to have gotten out of there for the rest of my life. Also I got out being an empath.
Best is... Try net to give these people any space in one's thoughts... Ever
After leaving a Narcissist, plain cold water is sweet!
One of the first things that a narcissist teaches their victim is that they’re not supposed to have a voice there’s not supposed to be any type of confrontation because if there is there are consequences they will make you pay for having a voice that was one of the hardest things that I had to overcome now my voice is loud and strong and yes there are consequences for having a confrontation consequences for me
If you ever worked or lived with a narcist my advice is … Do not live or work with narcissists. If your boss is a narcissist, quit, if your spouse is a naricissist reevaluate your vows, consider annulment. These personal fulfillments annoy narcissists so they will stalk you to destroy you for rejecting their narcissism.
Looking back at my life I should have just quit my job and left my wife I married a high spectrum narcissist I ended up working for a person that was I mean it was just ridiculous screaming and yelling at me in front of customers I should’ve quit that job along time ago now years later I am almost pretty much recovered but looking back I should’ve never have allowed myself to be around that type of toxicity it took me years to recover and by the way my mom Was a malignant narcissist right underneath a Socio path that high in the spectrum No wonder I became victim to so many narcissist I was conditioned and trained by her she was literally arrested for murder once but got out Now if a narcissist even remotely comes near me or makes a comment I’m like a pitbull I will tear them to shreds my boundaries are ridiculously strong and I have a voice now I was taught to never have a voice I was taught to go along with what is told of me to do and if I do not there are repercussions not anymore by the way that’s the first thing that the narcissist conditions a person to believe in that is if you have any type of confrontation there are severe repercussions And you know what now if there is a confrontation yes there are severe Repercussions from me
Thank you for the videos. I cut ties with my sister last December and I feel at peace. Every time she came into town for a visit it turned out to be a total nightmare. She would comment on my weight, my finances, my home and my friends. I had gone through a surgical procedure last fall and was laid up for a month and the surgeon gave me pain medication (eight in total). My sister was convinced that I was addicted and tried to convince the rest of the family that I was a drug addict. When that did not work out she tried to call my therapist! It took me fifty five years to finally walk away from the abuse.
I outsmart them everyday by not reacting to anything they do. They are invisible... I can't see them... I don't care about them. They try and try to piss me off.... I just act like I'm in an alternate universe.
Well done
Good for you. Stay there, unless they're getting physical.
LindyLooo99 you’re right. I do the same thing. I’ve been walking that road for a long time and use the same strategy.ℹ️💯✅❤️✝️🙏🏿📖🗡👊🏿👌🏿👍🏿☯️😎
I wish I could do that
I'm married to him live w him
It’s hard to grieve the person I truly lost...ME! ...and the emotions that come with that... It’s a mixed emotion when I realize how I have been controlled & manipulated & how horrible someone I believed with all my heart, loved me... and the anger at myself for accepting & tolerating the behaviors! I will never understand how a person can be such a horrible human being! But that lack of understanding is what got me in the hell I have lived for 26 years. ...my gratitude every day is that I found these videos & escaped!
Absolutely the best way to outsmart them is by leaving them, going NO Contact, and blocking them from all Social Media, and your phone! (their friends and family included) Don't do half way measures. Just disappear from them.
That is the truth. They are so horrible and relentless, and vengeful, that If you give them the tiniest opening they will come back with double the evil. Bad bad bad people! Get away and stay away.
Amen trying
Its difficult if you have children.
Jill is correct the narcissist doesn't have a conscience . They wanna us to react so they can make us act outta character and make us look like the bad guy or girl .
So true. My wife did this after she cheated on me with my daughters 4th grade teacher. Made me look like the crazy one. My kids and I are in therapy and she's not. Narcs don't get help. They think their shit doesn't stink.
@The Last Spartan it's coined DARVO as well. deny, attack, reverse, victim, offender.
A well used narcissistic strategy to control victims. Bloody horrible behaviour.
@The Last Spartan The absolute worse of the bunch become therapists ( plausible deniability) F.U.C.M. FUCM
Frances Bernard here. Finding whatever you can from their rhetoric that you can agree with while responding with a short summary statement using their own words in your own context instead works like a charm every time.
Jill you’re perfectly correct! I’ve done it! It works!
Every single word you said is the absolute truth. I don’t know if people really truly realize exactly how dangerous a narcissist is but I’m happy to see that there’s more & more information and discussion about this awful horrible and nearly impossible personality disorder to deal with and to educate us victims of this disorder as I’m sure those who are still in these narcissistic relationship don’t even realize it. I know I didn’t notice for years, too many years. But God bless everyone out there who’s putting information out there to help us, educate us and help us HEAL ❤️🙏🏼
I agree. Well said.
Mirroring the emotion back to the narcissist. This could be very beneficial when one must interact with them. Your information is the most helpful I've found. Thank you!
Thank you for these videos, they pull me out of some of my worst moods when I'm by myself and ruminating. It truly takes a professional to help us who are still in a dark place feeling like we we're the problem and not the narcissist.
They put you on an emotional roller coaster that leaves a person exhausted look back at all the stories all the confrontations and all these moments that the narcissist put you through ask yourself what are they real or were they made up remember who you were before the narcissist now look at yourself see everything you have to regain that’s what they took from you
38 yrs.... wasted
@@deborahrichardson3731 I only did it for five You have a long road of healing to do
Thank you so much Jill. You have helped me a lot.
I did it. No contact. Drove them crazy.
Such a great lesson. Observe and don’t absorb.
He was triangulating me and was going on and on about this other girl..."she has such cute eyes like it's unbelievable.." and I went like..."right? She has the cutest eyes everyone has been telling me about it."
Omg, the look on his face was priceless! He didn't expect me to go that direction so he began figiting. He wanted me to go the jealous way but nahh. I have gone no contact and as we speak, he is with her and am at peace 😌
Thanks so much for these enlightened techniques, Jill. Knowing now that we have such excellent defensive strategies in and of itself helps us to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Don't know what we'd do without your dedication to empowering the targets of NPD abuse.
1) Use the "don't absorb technique"
2) Mirror back the emotion they are trying to extract from you
3) Do not use facial expressions...employ simple straight-forward statements
4) Secretly plan your escape...go no contact...have a successful life
I wish every technique worked on every narcissistic situation, because it’s not that the techniques aren’t excellent, but that every situation is different and sometimes complex, involving others that support the narcissist.
True. Narcs will escalate until they force a reaction out of you if you stay around them. They (if a family member or friend) will destroy your vehicle or boat or other very expensive item and claim it was an "accident" always with plausible deniablity so you look like the bad guy for getting angry. Win/Win for them, Lose/Lose for you whether you react or not.
Reese Daniel yes, my mother wouldn’t destroy a vehicle but, when my sister wanted her to stay at my place a couple of years ago, I wouldn’t allow it. Something told me that my 2 cats would’ve been let out onto a busy street, if I were foolish enough to skip off to work, leaving her there.
It would look like, to most, that I’m taking my pets above my mother and, yes, I was and don’t feel guilty about it, because I don’t let some Hellnado in my place, after she’s destroyed her own home and I am well aware that hurting or killing your pets is a wonderful way of sticking you with pain that the world tells you to get over immediately. So, I’m not having that.
@@privateprivate8366 YOU ARE SMART TO PROTECT YOUR PRECIOUS PETS AND YOURSELF TOO FROM YOUR MOTHER.
@@treelover1050 I went by my gut and I knew myself well enough to know that, despite the fact that I and the law would hold me accountable for my actions, anything happen to my pets and I see a smirk on her face and my mother was going to be in Hell. Hell avoided, when I didn’t allow her to stay.
I like the "throwing back the emotions" technique.
Excellent information. Thank you so much. I like the advice about turning the emotion back on them. I’ll have to practice not laughing when I see her response. You’re making a difference; I can feel the healing. I notice it most when I get triggered, and get that “yuck” feeling inside. But then I remind myself that the feeling used to be the norm, and is now only occasional. Progress!
I get triggered just be SEEING one of these vipers. Passed one on the road yesterday and it looked right at me. Had that heart palpitating anxiety for the rest of the day.
Thank you for your help and advice! You are helping those in need! God bless you! Have a great day!
I love the way you explain everything about N.
I spent about 12 years with my narcissist and had no idea that she was. Even years after the relationship was over, I constantly questioned why she had acted this way or that way, but could never put my finger on it. I felt battered and bruised like anyone can when a relationship ends. Six years into her new relationship, she proclaimed to be so happy and in love. From time to time, we would speak and she would always find a way to make "digs" at me and I chalked it off to her just being jealous of my new gf at the time. But then she went too far and began to say awful things that just were not true. And I thought to myself "who does that? Why is she doing this? She's so in love yet is consumed by hating me and she broke it off". She was STILL trying to hurt me years after we were over. I began to research and it took me awhile still, but I found the answers to all that had plagued me when it came to her behavior: narcissism. There should be textbooks in school and classes for this kind of thing.
Your videos have helped me so much. I can’t thank you enough for doing this. I always thought I was the crazy one in my family. I was also “too sensitive” and “so over dramatic” but in reality I was (am) an empath and living with two people with NPD, my mom and younger brother. I eventually moved out of my moms house and started dating someone else with NPD and ended up having 2 kids with him. After 7 years of mental, physical and sexual abuse I was finally able to leave. Of course during those 7 years I had no help from my mom or brother.
I always blamed myself, thinking I was the common denominator. I always thought there was something wrong with me. You’re videos helped me recognize the exact things that they were all doing.
I’ve been trying to go no contact with my mom and brother but it’s been hard. They are not grasping the concept and are telling me now that this is all my fault again and that I’m teaching my kids the wrong way to be. In fact, I’m trying to teach my kids to stand up for themselves and to always believe in themselves. They’ve seen the abuse that I’ve endured and they support my decision. I’ve tried to protect them to the absolute best of my ability. But when an abuser is ready to explode they don’t care who’s around.
I just wanted to thank you. You’re name “the enlightened target” immediately struck a chord with me. That’s exactly what I feel like. I knew I was in the right place as soon as I heard that.
Namaste.
My narcissistic girl/exgirlfriend
Constantly tries calling me even after
Blocking her over and over.
Yup get out, no contact and heal..)
Hey Jill, whenever I state things like “you seem really agitated today” the narcissist in my life says that it is because I am giving them “narcissistic supply”. I hinted at him that he exhibits narcissistic behavior and ever since then he has twisted the story to make me a narcissist.
Thanks, this really helps! I like to listen to your videos on the regular basis. I was impressed by accuracy of your analysis of narcissistic women. So true, so right on target! And, unfortunately, brutally truthful, accurate presentation. It is so sad, that those women exist ...
Jill ... muuuuuaaahhhh! This is just such great trick!
Thank you so so much. I finally understand what’s been going on and now I have some information to work on with my counselor.
I did it and it works
When she got upset, I shook my finger at her and only said, " Shame on you." Man She got dangerous -- scream, throwing, cursing... won't do that again.
@The Last Spartan Is this an x- spartan/ vanguard?
it took me four years to actually start healing from the narcissist. you see, I 've read in many places that in order to heal from them one needed a full 2yrs. it took me longer bcz I was keeping contact with his mother who whom started doing his job for him on a regular basis everytime I took the kids to see her, or got invited for lunch or when she would show up very unexpectedly at my door step. Only after I went no contact with her as well is when I trully started to heal.
Great video!!
Thank you! You answered alot of my questions.
Strong message and hilarious examples. Thanks so much I get alot out of this!
Jill thanks for everything you are the best.
Thank you,for this!😮you are so right!
Excellent information, thanks!
Thank you for the lovely videos. They are very helpful. Would you please consider making a video on the difference between a person with bpd and a covert narcissist. There is so much overlap between the two and the problem is that most videos on RUclips say that those with bpd root from trauma and are not really as bad as a narc. The overt narc is very different but the covert narc and a person with bpd confuses me way too much. Please if you can make this video would be much appreciated. Thank you 🤗
Thank you for your wisdom .God bless you !!!
These strategies DO work!!!!
beautiful work!! thank you!
I called her out and exposed her dirty gaslighting, crazy making ways.
It was like putting a PC in sleep mode!
She came back with one hoover which I responded to neutrally and haven't heard from her ever since!
I am so happy I found your channel.. This is really very helpful.. Thank you..💗💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Good word Jill
Great information! Thanks for sharing! Very helpful!
NO CONTACT.
NO CONTACT.
Move on live your best life.
That will kill them.
Thank you
This freed me so much.
THANK YOU FOR GUIDING US
Great channels
Excellent advice, thank you.
Excellent information. Thank you. This explains Much. Respect sister ✊🙏
Great advice. Now with SOME angry narcissistic people in my life, when I tried this approach they actually became more enraged. Do you think that is a whole other issue?
Superb advice!!! Thanks a lot madam.... I hve been following ur advice and guess what?.. It really works 😇
This is exactly what I did 3 years ago and I love it no contact with my mother forever
I finally started doing this with my NM and it drives her crazy. 😜
mine hated me laughing all the time, I"m extremely giggley and it kicked his insecurities in, he would be constanly ask me what I was laughing at and I would laugh more. Drove him crazy ....Oh and don' t ever wear ear buds and text on your phone non stop laughing they are sooo insecure they think you are laughing at them, and they aren't getting the attention they need
or maybe you are just a self involved brat?
I'm a gay man and thank you so much you have litterally saved me from the brink!!!!
So empowering
I'm bi and ran into a woman and I was sooo wrong about her!!!
how does being gay have any relevance in this omg
@@_--Reaper--_ just about as much relevance as your comment don't you think
@@jimmygallaway4416 Lmao if your gayness is on the same level of importance as my comment then you basically just admitted that being gay has no relevance here, Kudos to you for being the bigger person and admitting your error!
Cheers!
So helpful
when i read the book snakes in suits, i kept thinking that the reason for the book is honorable, but did they really examine?
did they really look?
i’ve personally dated and been married to people with psychology degrees. and after all the reading i’ve done, these several people are on the narc spectrum. slightly different and yet the same.
and several of the several ladies also work within companies as HR or human resources and recruiting. imagine that?
the narcs are within companies that manage people and sensitive info. one lady works for a fortune 500 company. maybe a top 25 aerospace company. and she is a narc i didn’t ever suspect until just recently.
we hadn’t spoken in well over a year. no messages or emails. she manipulated me a few too many times when we dated and i just moved on. i suspected something was off with her despite her appearance. she always dressed up even on weekends. rarely saw her without makeup or dress up. actually never saw her without.
out of nowhere just a month or so ago, she reaches out to discuss business. she wants a favor. i reluctantly say yes, but before i can lay out boundries and how the deal needs to work, she begins to lie and manipulate me and another.
really fast from the first communication to just a couple days, i was pumped up and then discarded and lost a potential client. all within 72 hours so so.
in that time she was manipulating her daughters, another biz prtner, me and a client. she was telling me how she was being deceitful with them and i could see how a narc isolated people to keep up her mask. her mask of harmlessness, with a pure manipulator behind it.
it was a master class at warp speed. a master class in supply and discard. she wanted to see me react. jump when she said jump. then pushed me off the ledge. i kinds saw it as it was happening. scary and sooo disappointing.
No Contact is a strange place to be. nowhere else i can go but no contact.
great videos Jill. thank you.
Seriously, this works. I did this with my mother 4 years ago. I got results fast.
On your way out of their lives, say nothing, say as little as possible! Just go as quietly as you can.
Your right. Very true and correct. I’ve used the same strategy for years.ℹ️💯✅❤️✝️🙏🏿📖🗡👊🏿👌🏿👍🏿☯️😎
Thank u makes a lot of sense 🥰🤩🙏🙏🙏🌹thank u
Thank you so much for your videos ❤️
what if the narcissist is married to your son? she has robbed me of contact with my son & grand daughter. Way too hard to let go of my son. After divorcing my overt narc husband, (I always figured he was just overly arrogant but really insecure boasting all the time about how 'right' he was & how much he knew people, also, would get fired - often. Always the other person's fault. Could not take ownership of his faults. I wonder what effect that had on my highly empathetic son. I was constantly trying to hold things together for the sake of my 2 boys but mostly this one. My heart is broken every day. I have not talked to him in over a year & have not seen my 3 year-old granddaughter either. I'm just putting this out there in the universe looking for a resolution with tears running down my face.
That's so sad. If it were me, then I would contact my son and ask him to meet me for an hour in a park (or other neutral territory), take a packed lunch and just try to find out what the problem is that you've not heard from him. I'd try to be very conciliatory and kind and try to keep my emotions calm and under control. I'm sure he can't be feeling great about the situation either and she has clearly made him choose. Good luck.
Thanks🙌🏽
We were legally separated, and he comes by one night at supper. The 7 kids were all at the table. He shows up with one of those glow jackets, and boat shoes. And a plaque in his hand that said “Bless This Mess.” I never remarked about the boat gear and I took the plaque keeping a poker face. Now I think :Bless This Mess” was his own life subconsciously. Ive been narc free for over 50 years and there is no better thing than having inner peace in my life.
Hi Jill!!! Great Video!!
Info is on point. I am a master at these techniques, unfortunately. Please don’t underestimate their ability however to crank up the heat when they start to see their affect on u has slipped. I believe in some sense “acting” ur regular helpless self, (the u theyre most familiar with) can be used as a distraction tactic while u plan an escape. Control urself but also control the heat.
Thank you
What can a persdon do if they have been brought to the lowest point in life and now have no money left, no job, no peace of mind and no way to go no contact ?
Wow thank you 🙏🏻👌🏼✅😅
Cool video.
You are amazing women appreciate it
The best way to outsmart the narcissist is first of all in recognise when they are practising rcissism and then when you do offer them help to sort out the 'confusing to them' situation they are in if they are playing victim or just summarize the key positive points and observations for the day that they mentioned and agree with them on that while making sure to keep your distance from them. When you do that most of the time they flee from your inner circle of influence becasue you didn't react how they expected you to react to their behavior. For example if they complain of having been visited by ghosts while trying to make you believe there is such a thing then offer to help them sort out if there might be any utility bills maybe left behind by that 'ghost' they are all complaining about. Or if they tried to make you in an exclusive directed at you way to feel guilty for not caring about how beautiful your own dorm room organizational system is at the moment just agree with how you would love to hire an interior decorator to design your own personal space with lots of convenient affordable to have well lit storage spaces and that you would be delighted to hear any suggestions on a good interiror decorator to hire. For example, say, "I agree my own personal space organizational system could benefit from a profesional interior decorator. Do you have one to suggest to me?
I had to tell the narc who has been bothering me "I'm no longer a piece of meat that you can roast." Then he pretended like he didn't know what I was taking about.
True it's also called ENMESHMENT :-) many thanks.
Thank You☆
Good advice. I wonder if all addicts whenever active in their addiction behave like narcissists. If those of us related to or working with an addict don't work on ourselves always when outsmarting the narcissist and by attending support groups and by being in some other kind of supportive community during and after being affected by the behavior of an addict we could end up becoming sicker both in body mind and soul than they are. When working on ourselves while sticking to plans on getting away from having to be their 24/7 care giver don't become surpirsed if next in dissapointment when not getting any negative narcissistic supply when they tell you and everyone else next from time to time that you are like a baby who cannot ever seem to look after herself [or himself] Don't ever fall for that undermining of your self-confidence in being able to strike out on your own.
Yes, don't give them the fuel they need.
Working in escaping in my Escape. lol
Wow I did some things right just by instinct!
Gray Rock Method mode all of the way.
Can you please do a video explaining the differences and similarities between C-PTSD & Vulnerable Narcissism?
How can someone know which one they are? Is it possible to be both?
Thanks
So difficult to remember this, it is almost looks like a trap they want to put you in.
When your Narc Parent insults your character, say: “I’m a direct product of YOU.” They don’t like that.
Can you do a video on narcissistic in laws and grandparents?
I actually just told my exwife last week why are you always angry? because she is and I havnt heard back yet but I know this week is my visitation weekend coming up this is always a bad time always
How do you outsmart one that pays and or bribes others for informationn to monitor you (not you) so to speak?
How do you get beyond that manipulation?
Besides the one individual I know that abused her (the one conducting the smear campaign) privileges at a certain telecommunications company to keep tabs on my wherabouts/activities..
how do you get beyond that..
I also remember a few friends/associates over the last 20 or so years telling me that my own father has tried to bribe them or other people to keep tabs on me.
That is just one aspect of the manipulation I have had to outsmart over the years and yet still can't get ahead of it.
Then I have a whole different apsect that involves political criminals, that have compromised things and created a whole other avenue of obstacles.
When I see what is happening in our society today, what are so called leaders are doing to people, it is exactly what I have lived through, a constant never ending invasion and overstepping of boundaries. I don't believe I have ever had one shred of privacy or anything to myself, not once.
How do you get beyond that? Because it is a much deeper issue than what most normal, day to day people experience or see on the surface.
Oh boy time to grey rock them and now the CCTV Cameras are soon going to be installed for the Narcissist Neighbors.
Don't give them a inch because they will always want more.
Thankx so much 😍 😎
let the sex predators be Angry at your NO....haha..they got anger issues
Experienced this the other day...glad l responded the right way...phew..
Yes being matter of fact and a robot but no contact better. The narc has destroyed far too much.
Could you please make a video about narcissist siblings?
Sometimes maybe more benign narcissists even just make you laugh all the time, with well thought out jokes. I still laugh but I'm more aware and observant. It can throw you off a bit if you're trying to be focused. They just want you to notice them.