Should Christians . . .Spank? Watch The Halftime Show? Wear Makeup? | Ep. 261
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- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
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Mentioned during the podcast:
- "213: Why Gentle Parenting Is Unbiblical" - • 213: Why Gentle Parent...
- "208: finally talking about this . . .modesty" - • 208: finally talking a...
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Timestamps:
0:00-1:10 Welcome Back
1:11-3:30 Get It All Done
3:31-14:20 How Do You "Not Keep Score"
14:21-27:15 Do We Spank?
27:16-31:15 Going To Super Bowl Parties
31:16-42:20 Teaching Your Daughter Modesty?
42:21-53:30 How Do You Encourage Your Husband To Pursue You?
53:31-53:53 See You Next Time 
Кино
Could you bring your parents on to talk about their experience disciplining?
Yesssss🎉 please
Yes
Yes please!
Please 😃
That wasn’t the point of them addressing this question. 😬 There is recorded preaching available that addresses the topic according to the Bible and there are books available, although it is rare. I don’t think it’s a podcast topic for parents who still have children at home and I 100% support E + K’s response.
Thank you for specifying that we are not to discipline in anger. That is something that I think is easy to fall into and something that my husband and I have both struggled with at times.
As a mom with 5 adult children who did most of it wrong:
1.NEVER, EVER spank in anger . Take a grown up time out. 2. Don't spank for everything! Or you will break Rule 1 and just spank out of anger and not out of love and your child's best interest. Have a couple of infractions such as defiant disrespect or lying as your limitations. Reward truth telling by being empathetic and NOT spanking.3. Always behave in such a way that it is natural and right to bring up the gospel, pray, and hug when it's over. 4. Stop spanking by 8 or 10 at the latest. I've heard someone say that most spankings will occur thru age 6. 7 to 12 use more natural consequences. 13 to 18 add the loss of privileges like car keys etc.
@@RCGWho Thank you! This is such great advice!
Could we have an episodes with your parents on discipline throughout the years? And on spanking do or don’t?
Our church is hosting a super bowl party and chili competition with no commercials or halftime show :)
I really appreciate the reminder of being proactive and "pursuing " on our terms related to family. I have a family member that I love and we spend time with a couple times per year and this is a helpful strategy to use with them.
Wow I really liked your advice about looking to older couples and parents for guidance when it comes to parenting. Very useful tips! 🙏
Get someone to talk on children discipline, please! Great advise to look at older couples!
Literally everything in this podcast was something helpful for me, and I'm going to share this with my husband and have him watch it too!
I’m 23 years old, and just recently got married and I can say from my personal experience that spanking did me no good whatsoever in-fact it may have been one the reasons as to why I don’t have a close relationship with my Father. Now, I’m not saying you should never spank your children but in my case that was the only discipline I received regardless of what I did, big or small, the punishment was always spanking. Now that I have grown up I can see that some of my father’s traits of bitterness, and anger were passed on to me. I catch myself having low temper, and easily triggered by the smallest things, it’s something I have to work on each day. To me spanking always comes with anger I’ve never seen my father be calm while spanking me. It got to the point that I was genuinely afraid to speak to my parents and I only spoke to them when I needed something like clothes, food, etc. We NEVER spoke about any other things because I had a fear that I’ll get punishment for saying something extra. I’m not here to say how bad my father was, but I believe this may help someone reading this.
Love watching your content. I actually brought up some key points in this video about the Super Bowl to my husband-especially your comments about the commercials.
Also your views on makeup, and the values your Mom showed to you girls, was super influential! I’ve actually implemented dressing up at home because of this video.
In addition to seeking out advice from older couples, as these two said there are A LOT of resources from self-help, therapy, doctor phil, etc. that are available to you if you want it. I've worked as a Behavioral Technician with children and I have found that there are a lot of principles of behavioral science that are extremely helpful (and yes, behavior is an objective science, even though understanding it objectively is very difficult for us at present). For example, punishment is NOT correction. Behavior that is punished may diminish in the context where it is punished, but it will amplify in contexts in which there is no punishment. For example, maybe your child is mean to a younger sibling, you "discipline" the child who's being mean, and then the child may hide their meanness from you but they'll just be meaner when they think you're not looking. My experience in a situation like that is that the child is probably treating their sibling in the same way that one or both of the parents treated that child, and this acting out is an opportunity for the parent to say "hmmm I wonder how this is reflecting something about me." If you give the Holy Spirit but a little willingness to show you how you are the one creating the dynamic, you will be amazed at how quickly He come to you with a very specific answer. Children are much more influenced by watching and repeating what you do than they are by listening to what you think you are telling them.
Would love to see you interview your parents on the discipline topic!
Great perspectives, love the specific examples thank you!
I love the respect you guys have when you talk to each other here in the podcasts ❤
My dad and step mom raised a really really good son. Everyone compliments him. I think his biggest asset is his emotional intelligence. It leads to his success in all facets of his life. My dad and step mom were extremely emotionally intelligent while raising him. They did not anger, they communicated, and very often. Their love was never conditional and they never acted or felt offended or bothered by behavioural issues. They just talked about them. They praised him for everything good and spoke highly of him and he always lived up to that standard.
Can you talk about the worldview that we can’t afford to have kids these days? I want one I can send to friends without offending them 😅
Yes! There is a podcast called the spillover with Alex Clark and age just interviewed a mom of 3 who makes it work on like $40k per year. It's pretty recent so you should find it if you look it up.
@hannahsvoxx I literally just watched that episode a few hours ago. The mom reminded me of my childhood. I grew up with 5 younger siblings, and we lived on 1 income and survived.
I have - what to me is - an easy answer to that question/concern. I read a quote and have tried to adopt it as my daily prayer and heart’s desire.
Someone asked George Muller the secret to his success and his answer was something like this. “There was a day in my life that I died. My opinions, preferences, wills, and desires, dead to the world and its approval or censure. And that I was going to rather study to show myself approved unto God.” That’s not the exact quote, but since reading that it has helped me with issues like this. The Bible still says to do your own business, and it still says to live a life pleasing to God.
It’s brought so much peace for me to not worry about what others do and simply try to do God’s will every day, letting Him guide each decision.
Oh yeah! And you can live on one income! 😜
We make less than 30k with 3 in diapers/pullups. It's possible
You know who I would love for you to interview? Pastor Douglas Wilson. I know you are aware of who he is and you've interviewed N.D. Wilson, his son. His kids are all phenomenal. They're intelligent, well-spoken and, (as far as I know) Christians. I want to raise kids like that and would love to see an interview on parenting, education, etc. If you haven't had his daughter, Bekah Merkle on, you should have her on, too!
I second this!
Third
Your advice for the couple avoiding burn out and keeping score is helpful, however how would you make it specific to a couple whose spouse is in graduate school or overseas or some other extremely time consuming lifestyle? For example, date nights and rest days/afternoons can’t really happen for us because my husband is in grad school. That leaves all the home management to me and really no time to talk over things with him unless it’s 10 min here and there while we’re eating or brushing our teeth. We
Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp is a fantastic resource on the rod(spanking).
That’s a resource my parent’s used!
Can't wait to listen to this over children's nap time thos afternoon!!
Do you guys have resources for sharing your knowledge with church settings or like woman’s ministries? I love everything iv watched on your channels and just want to share it with my church somehow! Any thing helps!
I really appreciate and respect your response to spanking and discipline. Though I am often one who wants people that I listen to on these platforms to answer this very debated topic, I see the wisdom you are using in pointing listeners to people in their church that are older and have seen the fruit of their decisions in the matter. Often times if feels like people don’t want to loss followers if they answered the question, but I have learned so much from your response and explanation of why it is not best for you to answer this question. Thanks for sharing ❤
Especially like consequences or what is effective when kids disobey what can be appropriate ways to disciple in those times..?
People asked the same questions about wives for eon's and still do in some places, it was nonsense and still is, one big misunderstanding being inherited and ingrained in every generation. There has been a lot written about punishments and rewards, why they're bad and how it's actually easier to interact without them and much healthier for everybody.
Y'all are so right about using your limited free time as parents wisely. By God's grace I've had to become more disciplined and strategic in where my personal time and energy goes.
Off topic but can you please do a video on children's chapter books that you would let your children read.
James Dobson The Dare to Discipline revised edition! My dad sent this to me. I was raised with this discipline strategy and an using it with my children i have a 3yr old, 23 month old and 6 month old. I definitely don't have it all figured out but i love the Christian wisdom from this book and from my parents. Definitively go check it out!
Question for the music academy! (Also, I love you guys!!!!)
I have a 2.5 year old. What is the earliest age appropriate for the music academy?
We recommend our VMA courses for ages 7 and up. A younger child might need help operating a computer and the course. It just depends on how involved as a parent you would like to be :)
Will your parents be willing to discuss discipline in the home. I don't currently have a church we go to or any elder people whose adult kids I would say I respect. I'd love to hear from your parents who have raised so many wonderful children!
If I may encourage you - I was just having a discussion with a new friend I had over for dinner and was telling her a bit of my parent’s testimony. They always prioritized church over jobs or family, and now they have 8 grown children who love the Lord and have chosen to stay in church. I joke that we are “decent.” I don’t know how anyone can make it without a good church and good personal examples to follow in their life. :/
Much of the advice I had from older people in church or at ladies’ retreats was very poor advice. Not everyone who is older and Christian did it right - in fact the older generation had a distance relationship with their children without expressing a lot of love.
I had the best dad in the world so I had his example - but not everyone had that example.
Spare the rod is figurative of the principle of discipline - not actual physically hitting with a rod.. A child that is hit will hit.
they said to search for older Christians who still have great relationships with their children.
A child that wasn't hit will hit, scream, yell, throw things. Sin nature doesn't need to be taught. 😂
I’m fascinated - do you have real life examples of “a child who is hit will hit”? The only children who have ever hit me in my entire life were children who had never been Biblically disciplined. I’ve helped raise or babysat dozens of children.
Every single child I know who is not spanked still hits and has much worse behavior and a seemingly worse relationship with their parents than mine have with me, and I spank.
We also don't watch the superbowl anymore, we did years ago, but no longer want to participate in that. We also have youtube premium to avoid commercials. And we don't wath the New Years eve ball drop in times square either, many people do for New years parties, we have toung kids, and we celebrate with a nice dinner and desert and say Happy New Year at 9PM lol 😂 That kind of goes along with not watching the super bowl, theres a lot we stopped watching.
There’s a podcast called Unbroken Podcast. I think the hosts, Tom and Alane, would be great to interview as far as discipline. 🙏🏼
I do not understand why the natural oils that God literally put into our hair is seen as gross. I don't understand why makeup is seen as being put together when God gave us these natural faces. Why do we think that our unnatural, man-made products are enhancing the beauty that God created? My husband cannot stand makeup because, to him, it's so clearly a mask. I stopped wearing it completely when I met him, and my confidence in my true self was massively improved. He always says that God gave us berries to eat if we want pinker lips, and God gave us the sun and good foods to make our skin radiant. Makeup is truly an insult to God's work.
Connected families with Lynn and Jim Jackson is an amazing biblical based parenting! They have an online parenting course and they use scripture and link the brain science behind behaviors.
Don’t use the book.. Train up your child 🙃😥 They teach you to break the will of your child by immediate obedience and beatings. Michael Pearl wrote it I think. At least three children have been beaten to death using the methods in the book. Two of the children who were beaten were adopted and had special needs… maybe neuro divergent related. You can look up the book 📕 and research the damage it has done.
I think you should have your parents on to talk about how they went about spanking but in a healthy biblical way. What better experts! 😊❤
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The dad can show a daughter how a man should treat them.
Let's stop calling it spanking. Its hitting. You are hitting your children. You are hitting a child that has zero agency or defense. You won't share what you do because you know what you are doing is wrong and inside your heart you feel that its evil.
Obedient?? No please that's weird
It's biblical, your understanding of that word needs to change
@@edf18 Wives must obey their husbands is biblical too, the bible is simply no match for our culture's in determining what we think.
@@edf18The commenter to whom you're responding is very likely a leftist troll.
You also need to know you're kids and how to disapline that child.