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*Identifying Manipulative Leadership and It’s Effects on People
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- Опубликовано: 15 авг 2024
- Manipulative leadership and spiritual abuse is sadly becoming more and more common. While we have found a solid and safe place with integral leadership to call our home church, Nations Church here in Orlando, we have a strong desire to help people identify abuse and manipulative control in leadership. Such leadership is destructive and harmful. We personally have seen those that have experienced these things and couldn’t identify or articulate what was happening to them. Our prayer is that this teaching will expose the practices contrary to the person of Christ, His word and His kingdom.
I unfortunately went through this when I first moved here to Orlando. The pain it caused me was so indescribable, but I unfortunately didn't speak up because I mistakenly felt I was being "dishonoring" if I talked about it. This was also the first time I ever dealt with serious bitterness. The Lord had to graciously meet me to deliver me from bitterness. I felt like I was the problem and all the while I kept serving and trying to find out what I did wrong. Serving was used as a metric to see who was holiest and who got special attention. I had other believers who were around me at the time noticing this stuff and asking me about it-it was that bad. I left everything to move across the country to serve with this place. When I could take the pain no more, I reached out to one of the leaders to express my stepping down. It was like she was waiting for it, and said "I hope you find your people." It was not fun. Thankful to Jesus for rescuing me out of this specific place.
Ive experienced this as a born again Christian. It was a blow out on my way out of the small congregation I was a part of. Everyone was turned against me saying I had a demon because I questioned what was being told to me. The lead pastor did not like that I was doing outreach with another church (the church did not have any outreach available) Said I was disobedient and full of rebellion for doing that. And just a day before this happened I was praised and held in high regard. During that time I was so steeped in the word and learning how to move with Holy Spirit and fear and hear God, follow principled life in all that I did, clung to His word and waited patiently for revelation. Willing to be wrong and wanting to learn His way. Sad it ended the way it did. Leading up to the excommunication, I had dreams of the lead pastor sending large millipedes to attack me and other witchcraft things. We were being shepherd through manipulation and fear. I saw many visions in prayer and meditation, all for wisdom and knowledge to not perish. It was a difficult time knowing that towards the end of that experience, the congregation showed it’s true color of being more of a cult. Scales fell from my eyes fast and I stood up knowing that God will speak on my behalf as long as i maintained blameless in my heart and mind. I have such a deep story about this topic because it coincides with a pattern I dealt with in my past. I have journals, videos, audio, etc documenting this experience. This time I had God on my side and taught me what I needed to not fall prey again. I thank God for His protection and word that carried me through it. Spiritual abuse is real and alive and needs to be talked about. Thanks for covering this topic.
Oh and another important thing to note in my story is that the lead pastor told me that if I leave the church and leave from under HER covering that I will be susceptible to very bad things, she threatened stories of how others who left from her flock were not able to have children or had health issues take them down. Well she ended up losing the church shortly after the debacle happened.
Typical manipulative tactic. Shame on spiritual leaders not checking themselves regularly and repenting. In fact, there was a time I was gifted the opportunity to share a 3 minute word before the sermon. The word heavy on my heart was about repentance and examining the focus on one’s heart and thoughts. When the pastor went up she pretty much undermined my message saying something to the affect of ‘in this church we do not teach Old Testament condemnation and that repentance is not part of the New Testament calling. 😳
And I followed the best I could the steps to make awareness of what I was observing and experiencing to come to resolution. I talked to her directly, she did not listen. I talked to her with two others, she did not listen. And then I talked to her in front of the other leaders and well, it was like I was in a court, they were the judges, smug in their dealings and concluded that I am young, immature in faith and rebellious. The Bible in Timothy says otherwise that youth can have wisdom 1 Tim 4:12
What a nightmare! Stay vigilant in knowing your identity in Christ!! That is your protection from these matters.
Thanks, kind Sibling for sharing this with us. I really appreciate it. It's sad this is part of the devils schemes, but God shows His children, that's the truth! Thanks to Him!
@@earlethecanadian5470 I appreciate the kind words! God is good, the redeemer and restorer!
It's amazing when a whole church is like that, they don't have real humility because they are founded on faith in their own human selves.
Been through the manipulative leadership experience! It is an epidemic! Leaders want to control through manipulation and deception! Idolatry in a leader’s heart brings defilement to the work.
Thank you Eric for having Dr Brown address this issue. I fell under this the last 3 years and left about 3 months ago. It’s really damaged my family and my trust in leadership. The Lord set me free from that evil situation and is healing us all. THIS was very healing, thank you.
Thank you for having Dr Brown on to discuss this important topic. Much needed in the church. So much hurt that needs to be healed and exposing of manipulations.
I was in a church that manipulate people to sacrifice cos in the old testament people used to sacrifice. People would sacrifice their savings, others' houses, and cars. We were told about we must do something for God and He will do something for us and I always felt empty and that everything I do is not enough. So Eric I am learning a lot from leaning on Jesus cos this program of having to be a servant than a child is difficult to get rid of it. I envy how your relationship is with God. Now I don't have a church that I am attending apart from your sermons and Jesus Image. We need prayers for people who are still in such churches. It saddens me that I became a pastor and passed the same message I was programmed with to other members of the church.
Thank you for this episode. I'm all the way from South Africa
Wow, this message was on point. I just left a church where the female pastor was so controlling and mean. I went there for 6 months and was getting ready to join but the Holy Ghost stopped me. The members had no joy or liberty, they were controlled. The pastor never introduced herself to me other than asking me for money. God found me a church where there is joy, freedom and growth. Praise the Lord!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Read the King James Bible and you will see she was not qualified to be Pastor or have authority
Lol, there's no such thing as a female pastor. You got bigger problems if you were sitting under some stupid witch usurping the authority of a man.
@@richardvass1462 the Great Commission and spiritual gifts are given to both men and women. Paul had women leading house churches, and had a woman (Phoebe) deliver the letter to the church at Rome. It’s important to understand what was going on with the culture during that time Paul wrote specific letters to specific churches.
@@womanatthewell9603
I just suggest people read the King James Bible because that is what God teaches us. Nowadays people pick what Bible they want to read because they don't like what it says. One of my favorite teachers is Gail Ripplinger. What the Bible's talkin about is that a woman should not have authority over a man. And it gives qualifications for a pastor and deacon. You can call me a chauvinist if you like. But I am far from a misogynist. Society and churches and families are happier when they do things the way God tells him in the King James Bible. That's all.
@@richardvass1462 I think the issue that was getting addressed in Timothy isn’t WHO was teaching, but WHAT they were teaching. There were prostitutes from the temple of Artimus that were coming into the meetings… they had always had the authority at the pagan temple. Ephesus was a main port hub and they capitalized on the travelers luring them into the Temple. Paul was instructing that these newly converted women learn about Christianity from their husbands at home so as to not to interrupt the meetings. This was already a culture where women and slaves were considered property and women were already in submission. Jesus didn’t come to overthrow Rome. He came to show us a new way of living. Their first will be last, the greatest must be the least, no Jew or Greek, male or female we are all one in Christ Jesus.
I was told I was condescending by a pastor because I asked questions openly in a class he was teaching and also interjected bubbling over prayer for the persecuted church in our home group after the leader (a disciple of the pastor)was finished. I am not condescending. The Lord made me inquisitive and a great encourager. That comment made me think twice about the leadership, which was a good thing.
Now that my husband is gone (passed away) I depend on Holy Spirit leading me and guiding me. I thank God for who He made me. I am not haughty or condescending in anyway. I am a widow that knows how loved and protected she is. God is with me and He will protect me always. I have no ill will toward that pastor. It was pretty clear he was protecting his disciple. Little did he know Jesus calls me a disciple too and as my pastor he should have seen that. Thank God I know my identity in Christ. Amen.
Yes. Thank you for your witness. I totally understand it.😌❤
Read the King James Bible it is the pure words of God and look for a bible-believing church
I went through this in December, where I basically got kicked out from Bible school without any valid reason. They called me into a meeting after casting out demons (in which the leaders fully knew, we even where taught abt this).
They tried to break my spirit by saying such bad things abt me which were not true.
They also spread lies abt me to all the other students and leaders, and got mad when I told my side of the story to my classmates who were just confused and wanted to hear.
I got kicked out on the day, in another country. Did not hear a thing from them in a month (still not directly) and next I know they're persecuting and trying to control my friendships, where they're basically telling them they're not allowed to talk to me and calling my best friend's leaders, that I'm manipulating and must be cut all contact with.
All along they are the ones manipulating.
I find it all so childish, when I'm just 22 and they're the double my age.
It's hard when you just want righteousness, but since then I've been clinging on to Psalm 37:6.
I guess I wonder sometimes if I should say something or warn people of not going there BC it's highly manipulative and they kicked out 4 people in one month.
I'm gonna pray about it, if it's worth it or if it's just for my own right, but I definitely wouldn't want people to experience what I experienced..
They sound like a cult.
Gross….. I’m so sorry
Glad this is being addressed, this is a real issue, I know personally. But- hearing I’m not alone & it’s not just me- somehow makes me feel better.
PRAISE GOD.....very clear, well explained and fearless Biblical wisdom !!!
Thank you, thank you: Eric for hosting Dr. Brown and giving him the freedom to speak with the integrity that is the mark of his ministry. Dr. Brown, deepest gratitude to you and your wife for persevering in your calling and pursuit of wisdom. This word is so timely in my life as a disciple, servant and leader. Praise God, He is both the author and finisher.
Very informative video Eric. Much needed within the body of Christ for the times we are living in. God bless you bro & Dr. Brown as well. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Listen, I can not say this enough. THANK YOU for posting this.
"Abusive leaders are insecure people" - 100% YES. It's so important as leaders to do our own work on ourselves so the people we are leading don't suffer. The times I've suffered the most have not been when a leader made mistakes but rather when they were too insecure to take a good look at themselves and develop self-awareness. I have been so blessed and even felt healed by leaders who made honest mistakes, owned up to them, and then made clear steps to improve and change things. But insecure leaders can do a lot of damage. Most of the time, when I've had insecure leaders, they weren't outwardly abusive, they didn't yell at people or cuss them out - but they were often passive-aggressive, nice on the outside but manipulative, micromanaging in all the wrong ways but failing to cast the vision that would brought life to their people and organization. The effects can be just as damaging and sometimes even more so than outright obvious verbal abuse, because people are confused - "wait, this person SEEMS nice, yet everything we're doing is failing, we're confused, we're running around like chickens with our heads cut off, I am dreading coming here," etc. I think the enemy is the most dangerous when he cloaks himself in confusion, "half-truths," and "almosts" rather than when he comes out blatantly.
This was fire. So much wisdom 🔥
You hit the nail on the head! Persons who are insecure as leaders don't understand their power. You see this in police officers and some small business owners who bully their employees because of their insecurities and they dont understand the power they hold over the public or their employees.
Not all Police Officers. God put authority in place, and we're to pray for them.
My boss abuses me.
It's funny watching this. I literally was in this situation in Altamont Springs FL. I cried out before the Lord all night. Went to a place called Cranes Roost to meditate. Eric and 2 others walked up to me and began to speak of the things I was praying about. My decision was clear after that point. Bless God, He is so so good...
We should connect again. You still have my number
Hey you’re right around the corner from me.
@@Refiningforge I don't live there anymore actually.
He’s such a precious brother
Great teaching and right on time.
Thank you, Eric! This is so needed! Thank you, Dr. Brown!! We love you both!!
The last time the issue of spiritual abuse came up it was as a lay person 10-15 years ago but now as a pastor myself, it's good to revisit it from a leaders perspective and the inevitable question "am I an abusive leader". As a lay person, it's easy to spot abuse in your leader once your aware of it but can we spot it in ourselves . The reality is spiritual abuse can come from leadership ,but it's important to understand as laity that it can come from us as well, because as I've discovered sheep have teeth too! But the greater accountability is on us as shepherds , So I hope we take Dr browns words to heart
Wonderful discussion, Eric and Doctor Michael. The Lord is faithful to keep us. 😌♥️💞
Look forward to watching this later. This is a great topic and one I've experienced! Not in the last year! This has been going on for many for many years
Thank you Eric Gilmour and Dr. Brown. This is such sound biblical and wise teaching. Sometimes we can deal with leadership abuse because we think its what God would have us to do. Thank you for exposing some of the practices of leadership abuse. Definitely taught me, not to blame myself, but to know abuse comes with underlying issues we cannot see at the moment. No one is perfect, but it sure helps to know how the word of God views manipulative leadership and spiritual abuse. Thank you, thank you men of God. :-) Lord richly bless you with much more wisdom as you help the body of Christ manuever through leadership concerns. 🙂
The solution for people on both sides of the problem: find your confidence and validation from God, not man. That is what Christ taught. That is what Christ lived. Follow Him. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
AMEN.
I feel like this is exactly what I felt the Lord wanted me to talk to you about... wow. Thank you for uploading content from AMI sessions!!! Let the Lord give you back for that. Love you guys so much!! Michael from Poland, the translator
Thank you Jesus 🎉❤
Listening to this has been a very confirming and uplift message. Thank you
Leaders should take delight in equipping the saints and releasing them into the work of the ministry, and not be Jealous, but make better leaders than themselves.
Nothing but the truth . It messed up my home .I stayed for 20 years .
Wow this is so true. They’ll even tell you if you leave their church then you’ll be cursed. They’ll tell the congregation Not to talk to you anymore. A pastor once told the girl I actually witnessed to. Telling her to come to church, that she had a spirit on her because she was still talking to me. After I left….🤦🏽♀️
Thank you so much. This was so helpful.
2 Timothy 4:3 For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear
My first experience with this I was even afraid of looking for a job. I was always very afraid.
This is so informative and important I hope all listen, God is for you don’t let man destroy what Jesus has given you , excellent.
Such a balanced talk, Thank You.
Thank God I escaped this type of leadership! It was not easy.
Great subject 👌👏👍
Thank you Eric and dr Brown
Very accurate, and we need to continue exposing this stuff in the church
Dr Brown you are so correct The Scripture regarding touch not the Lord's anointed and do my Prophets no harm. refers to the Patriarchs only. that is absolutely correct. It is not what people think it is.
This really blessed me. Thank you for sharing this wisdom
Just love this man's humility . Thank you dr brown for your integrity and grace and wisdom from above
Thank you so much for this video. So helpful and confirms many things for me.
It’s really sad, I feel like, or get the impression, that some people at my local church deliberately ignore me if I miss some services. It’s all fine and dandy and they’re all so kind if I don’t miss a service and I’m there to classes. But they knew when I started going there that I run my own service my own business and I do all the work myself. When I went to church today after missing three services in a row, the pastor was talking about how there were people there who didn’t even know whether or not that local congregation was really their church and people need to make going to church a priority, God, a priority, which I do, but being the one who does the work by myself it is very hard sometimes. I just felt like I was being shamed or guilted into having to be at service every single time. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. But it really ticked me off.
Very helpful. I’m questioning my church I’m attending. the last year it has changed drastically. We now have an Apostle lead by an Apostle and it feels quit controlling. Eric came to our church a couple years ago and loved it. Wonder what he’d see now.
Any Christian who’s been through this and is coming out the other side can bless you majorly as it changes you but it can also harden your heart to unforgiveness because of the hurt you’ve gone through, am telling you one day God will make eveyone of us give an account before the throne, he sees everything, it is witchcraft at its highest degree, religious spirits operate with the spirit of Jezebel athaliah, and leviathan
🤯🤯 awesome
This is really good. Thank you for sharing❤
Thank you! This was very helpful perspective!
The Jezzebel spirit can be man, woman, boy or girl, it has no gender. Yes the Jezzebel spirit hates prayer, the truth, and will shed light on everyone else but themselves, it's manipulative.. I Love this Pastor, well studied and cares for God's people.
This video as recommended to me after I learned about "Pastor" Richard Lorenzo Jr. I was watching his videos and seeing right through his lies, how he's manipulating people, etc. I'm actually very mad as I write this b/c it's sickening how people twist the love of God. And his true word. Going to hush and finish watching this beautiful video!!!
So helpful to hear the testimony of Mrs Brown and how she felt and responded to the false Prophecies about Trump.I have felt alone in that so so long.
This is so good. Thank you
Whoa, that was good.
Very helpful info , intimately revealed . Thank you
This is good. I lived this in a cult leader type church. Praise God the Lord got us out. It’s a very destructive environment clothed in being “highly spiritual”. This resonates with me greatly!
When men tells women that they are the head of the household and they have to do everything a man says that’s also manipulating
Charming and charismatic leaders can be a narcissist in disguise. That you Jesus for insight and discernment in encountering these individuals.
This may have years ago , but i needed this now , it almost recked me ,God bless you so much !!!❤❤❤
Jesus came to the ones (us) who denied, abusive and persecuted him....
So god wants that each of us has a relationship with him.....we have to follow Jesus and do t look right or left...do t follow the outside...follow the Inside
Brooo!!! Sooo good!
It will be good to see part two.
Thank you
Lonnie Frizbee was hurt by controlling leadership.....Holy Spirit was quenched sadly.
My God! Yes Lord! 😭 We need You 🙌
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO.
We need a part 2😊
Amen Jesus says I came from Heaven to Earth to do the will of my Father.
This was needed much insight and wisdom this been me and my wife conversation how to deal with some of these issues with wisdom...Thanks for sharing
Bless you man of God. Thank you.
Perfect timing
This video came up on my utube feed. Eric, you are a beautiful soul.
I been through this several times in churches most are fear based sad to say. 😢
If a leader doesn't care about your physical everyday needs, financial needs, or your emotions, how could they care about your eternal spiritual state?
Real leadership cares for your whole person. That's what agape love is. That's real leadership.
If a person claims to want to "minister" to you or lead you, but after time you realize you don't feel listened to or valued, GET OUT.
Abuse of power is quite a spectrum. I know leaders that always keep a distance to remain unapproachable. Leaders who are unapproachable set up a hierarchy that caters to them in power. Leaders who do not mix amongst the flock they are shepherding, set up a clique atmosphere. The unsaid rules are if you rock the boat you are outcast. So everyone flatters these leaders and serves them, never questions them. A very smart idea is for leaders to put out paper questionnaires, that do not need a name, to enquire how people are feeling. Hand out one week, go in a basket the next week. There is so many issues, no leaders at prayer meetings. Pastors who do not pray over their church, alone or with others. Their not on their knees for the flock, but are taking the money???They get someone else to do the praying, their busy. The Pastors are going on a trip, people are encouraged to give them an offering. But they never give? Pastors who invite everyone to their birthday and accept lavish gifts, but don't give any. I've seen it so much over 37 years. Ezeikiel 34 has it all.
Father God, praise you for getting our heart and vision right before putting us into position to lead others! Praise you God for opening our eyes and not making us lead blindly people towards hell! Praise you God for making us leaders according to your own heart and likeness! In accordance with this word and psalm 78:72, proverbs 11:14, Matthew 20:26-28, luke 12:48, john 13:13-17, acts 20:28, romans 12:3-8, ephesians 4:11-13, James 3:1, philippians 2:3-4, 2 corinthians 6:14-18 I bind to hell one being an abusive, manipulative leader but instead binding one to lead in Christ-like way people towards good deeds, thoughts and God in my life, the lives of my family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, acquitances, opponents and the body of Christ, binding to hell being unequally yoked and having any common share with those who are using leadership in an abusive, manipulative way, in the name and blood of Jesus Christ, amen and hallelujah! ❤
So good!
Thank you Eric i need to hesr this.
The Lord has keep me♡
The hardest part is when you grow up in a home with controlling manipulative leadership and you have no ability to leave. how do you counsel someone like that? So your getting it at church and then you go home as get it as a child-young adult.
This has really helped me thank you
Unfortunately I was married to a manipulative leader and struggled with how to break free the control and the manipulation. He was also a manipulive husband and father as well. My 2 young adult children are really going through a tough time right now. We had a ministry of mainly teenagers and young adults, and I feel convicted to reach out to them at times. As someone who was by his side during his ministry, do I have any obligations to help fix what he has broken?
You likely were unable to protect your children or chose not to? Control is called Witchcraft. You’re children were victims of witchcraft and those oppressive spirits can stay with them. Jesus went out to UNDO the works of the devil. You know the answer to your question.
I’ve had quite a few warning words for leaders over the years. I don’t take on false responsability I sm just a mailman / when I offered the word and it was received ministries were rescued but if not it usually went under -but it was between them and God -not me . We are just a mailman who cares
Need to hear more🙏
Eric, are you a BRSM grad? We were there from 1998-2001. We graduated in spring of 2000. I just found your channel and am very touched by your heart for the Lord. I saw Gladstone here too! Bless you!
Yes! It is extremely painful
Leave, it's not worth it fighting for. It can wreck your life. It did mine for 30 some years. Your not stupid, you can also hear the Holy Spirit and understand the word of God. Find a true shepherd.
Very Necessary Subject. Critical time to have a Sheppard who rightly divides the word of Truth. This season has been excruciatingly Biblical. I can only Imagine the Heavens ASTONISHMENT at our repeating of all that we have been warned against. How have we set aside so much that was written. . What are we chasing that is worth more than Our Fathers Will? Ask Alexa. I bet She can conspire a theory.
Casting Lots , usery, gossip, vanity. Actions speak louder than Words. Once upon a time there was no written words.
I like Dr. Brown and he's giving good advice, but he is presenting this in a way that sounds like it's "wrong or destructive to question yourself". On the contrary, we should always be humble and judging ourselves, our views etc. and if they disagree or are different than the "Prophets" or majority, then just put it on a shelf and continue to pray until God reveals all. But, yes, we should discern when we are being "gaslighted" or manipulated while still staying humble and judging ourselves.
My experience is that manipulators rarely scream, so advice from any human is flawed. Seek the Lords counsel in faithful prayer.
It is important brother, to teach the hearers who look to you, to hear God, not Mr Brown or fill in the blank. There is only one and how beautiful fellowship is in walking with him.
Very good. Experiencing this now
How do you pray for or rescue people under this management who can't get free; like charities and that that use rules to suit themselves with these symptoms
I've been watching a RUclips pastor who approaches people who have new age jewelery on, and he claims to be a prophet, and says that GOD is telling him about negative things going on in their lives. Sometimes he's right, sometimes not. It doesn't set right with me, calling oneself a prophet. The Bible warns us about false prophets. Otherwise he seems good, and seems to bring people to Christ. Does this sound suspicious to anyone else?
Amen 🌈🌈hallelujah 🌈🌈
This was amazing!
I don't go to any churches in person at this time.
I've lived in my car for 41 months.
Does anyone care?
At this time, I'm seeking assistance to get a place to live so I can go back to work, pay debts and write.
🙏🏽
The WORD is the bread of life and through JUDAISM and CHRISTIANITY it has lots and lots and lots of leaven in it; Messiah comes when you take the sin out of the WORD and eat it unleavened:
Thks 😊