Divorce: When the Dream Is Shattered - Matthew 19:3-9 - Skip Heitzig
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- Опубликовано: 29 авг 2024
- Not every smart home stays intact. Infidelity, as well as other factors, can shatter the dream of happily ever after. To be honest, this message today will not be an easy one to deliver nor will it be easy to hear. Jesus must have shocked His audience by His answers here to their questions. But my heart goes out especially to those in our flock who have been hurt by these things, and my prayer is that healing will come your way.
This teaching is from our series Smart Home with Skip Heitzig from Calvary Church.
#divorce
Going through my second divorce, I needed to hear this.
Me 2 and its bad. The pain of loss again even though it was so toxic. I still want her but she is sick emotionally and spiritually and I am as well. God can help me and only him.
Hugs same here and I’m 31 with three kids ! Does the pain go away
I've been in a 30 year marriage, stayed despite repeated indiscretions. It was still a broken home. My children do not remember my love and sacrifice, they remember the broken home, broken marriage. Idk if staying was God's will or not. Idk if I made the right decision. But can't turn back time, damage is done. I tried, I hoped, I prayed! But doesn't seem like either decision, staying or divorcing, was a right choice, just choice of what brokenness.
I would like to connect with u. Is this possible?
I am in to 18 years marriage with a serial cheater. I have fasted and prayed and it has gotten harder.
With you on this! Marriage is a dangerous thing! 😳
I’ve been going through it myself.
I stayed for 49 painful years💔 I now regret each 49 years that I forgave, but chose to stay! 😭
If you married with emptiness, don’t divorce as an excuse to heal, face the growing path with God because your relationship is not the problem.
Father im trusting you for my. Marriage restoration please heal has only you can in Jesus name amen
Thank you Ps Skip.
The enduring truth of the scriptures !!
Praise God !!
Leaving my husband after an attack in which he split my lip. Broken. In pain. Please pray.
It's important to break the souls ties between yourself and him otherwise you will be pulled back into the abuse. Look up videos on RUclips about this it will help you. Also Melanie Beatty wrote a book co dependent no more it's an older book probably rent from library over on eBay inexpensive. I went to counseling when I divorced my husband. It changed my life forever.
May the Lord bless you. Thank you.
If after reading (Deut. 24:1-4), you come up with a construct that says Moses made his own law & God listened/agreed to it, you are in gross error. 1st God is NOT subject to his creation, but His creation is subject to Him. 2nd, no man can control God (Isaiah 45:11). 3rd no man can counsel God for He counsels within Himself (Isaiah 40:13-14)(Heb Rom. 11:34). 4th He alone works all things after the counsel of His own will (Eph. 1:11)(Isaiah 46:9-11). Now rather we’re inclined to debate perfect or permissive, the reality is that both are still His will! (Did you catch that?) Therefore it’s safe to say Moses, who was the mediator between God & Israel, created the certificate of divorce after receiving instruction/command from God, who although clearly not His original intent (Matt. 19:3-8) did allow it as an incredible act/show of His grace, mercy, justice & love for His fallen creation (1 Cor. 7:27-28). Remember contained in the Torah are the divine instructions of God, NOT God & Moses. (Deut. 4:1-7)
“I rather mercy than sacrifice...” Jesus (Matt. 9:13; 12:7)
Truth. Thank you.
I would add this......He will save his people from their sin IF they repent
Easier said than done. Repentance in the case of remarriage after divorce involves getting out of the relationship (the remarriage) and returning to the first spouse (if he/she has not remarried) or remaining single and celibate. How many in today's world can do that, especially those who committed sexual immorality which caused the divorce to begin with?
@@CP-zb3ky the truth about the one-flesh covenant of marriage is that whoever goes outside of the covenant, and violates the marriage bed, is an adulterer. A divorce does not sever the one-flesh covenant of marriage. Even the Old Testament makes that clear since it says that the wife is defiled by the second marriage. This also upholds the one-flesh covenant of marriage in Genesis 2:23-24.
@@ajlouviere202 I'm not sure I understand your comment with respect to what I said or that we're even differing on this. Could you clarify specifically what your disagreement is? My point is repentance would be difficult by today's culture in this increasingly fallen world, and this pastor dodges going into details explaining to folks what it really means to repent and he avoided bravely advising so. I didn't mean at all to suggest compromising on God's rules and instructions, I am critical of pastors today of dodging or significantly watering down the hard but true biblical teachings.
@@CP-zb3ky in respect to guilty or innocent parties. The scriptures do not support that theory. The only thing that the scriptures do support is that one is allowed to break an engagement (betrothal) for premarital fornication, but once two become one-flesh in a covenant of marriage they are not to remarry, while they are both living.
@@ajlouviere202 I agree with this and support there are no biblical grounds for divorce on any basis (God may permit living separately, but not a divorce, in cases where there's violence or chance of infectious diseases while helping the sinning spouses to repent to God). Similarly, even more so, no biblical grounds/basis for remarriages whatsoever except for death of the spouse (which explains why God sees remarriages as adulteries while the original spouse is still alive). I don't see anywhere in my postings suggested anything contrary to these biblical principles?
We married in 1989 when I was 18; he was 22. We just had our 34th wedding anniversary on January 7th. We have 3 children and 2 are on the spectrum, as am I. We had 12 years of infertility before our 1st was born in 2000. It's not easy, but I believe in its worth. Psalm 90:12
I’m sharing this with my husband who told me days ago he wanted a divorce
So sorry to hear that Aleshia, we hope this teaching brings comfort and healing to your situation.
Lord we lift up Aleshia to You and we ask that You would intervene and bring encouragement and love around her to help her during this difficult time. We also pray for marital restoration and hope for a future resting in You Jesus. We pray these things in the Mighty name of Jesus, Amen.
@@CalvaryABQ Thanks for your heart for the steadfast commitment to speak truth over popular cultural easy-beleivism church doctrine. Divorce is not an option for those whom the Father put together. Let no man take apart. Question - how then do we know that the Father brought us together?
Update?
@@texasdreamcatcherany update?
Because God made them to be one no wonder devorse is so painful
I. Most Christians are ignorant to the fact of the four gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) being Old Testament books, NOT New Testament; they were still under Mosaic Law, thus must be interpreted in light of this fact. Jesus NEVER taught against the Torah (Matt. 5:17-18)(Gal. 4:4)
*Supposed Perpetual adultery clause (Luke 16:18)(Matt. 5:31-32):
a. Herod Philip married Herodias. When Herod Antipas visited his brother, he wanted Herodias for a wife for himself. So Herod Antipas put away his own wife, and married Herodias. She, of course, had to depart from Herod Philip first. The Jewish law does not permit such behavior (Lev. 18:16; 20:21). John the Baptist
continually said this was wrong. When he did this, he made Herodias very angry. So Herod Antipas ordered John's arrest & beheading. (Mark 6:14-28)(Matt. 14:1-11)
b. Therefore, the supposed perpetual adultery clause comes from a misunderstanding of Jesus’ words in Luke, who in protest of Herod Antipas, he condemned the relationship as adulterous which means that he rejected the legitimacy of the marriage because he stole his brother’s wife, which violates commandments 7, 8, 10 (adultery, stealing & coveting).
c. Besides this shameful laxity, the Pharisees had never had the courage to denounce the adulterous marriage and disgraceful divorce of which Herod Antipas had been guilty.
d. Jesus was referring to putting/sending away ones wife (Heb.- shalach)(Grk.- apoluo) without the written certificate of divorce (Heb.- sepher kerituth)(Grk.- apostasion) and marrying another causes adultery if one is remarried. God cares more about the needs of people than He does the institution. (Matt. 12:1-8)(1 Cor. 7:1-2, 27-28)
*Note, If a person accepts the inspiration and infallibility of the Scriptures, then it cannot stand that what Jesus said in Matthew carries more authority than what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7 or Moses in Deut. 24 . All men spoke from God (2 Pet. 1:21) and each of them complement each other’s teaching in reflecting the Holy Spirit’s inspiration (2 Tim. 3:16-17).
e. Again, Jesus, who did not teach against the Torah (Matt. 5:17-18), words reflect a Jewish understanding on the topic. It was a 2part process which involved sending away (Shalach) and lawful divorce (sepher kerithuth). If one was just sent away & not given the official certificate of divorce, they in fact were in adultery. This is consistent with Paul’s meaning in (Rom. 7:1-6) Under Roman law both polygamy & polyandry were forbidden. The context of Romans 7 is the Mosaic Law, NOT marriage. The correlation is such: just as the marriage bond is broken/dissolved by the death of one party, the death of Christ frees us from our previous obligation to practice the Mosaic Law & we are made free from our past obligation to practice sin since we too have died to our old nature. He’s not saying death is the only way to dissolve the marriage (1 Cor. 7:10-15, 27-28)
Thanks for this exposition, it's found me at a time that I needed to hear. I understand Jesus to be saying that hard heartedness and unforgiveness is the root, and the exception clause applies to us if we can't find forgiveness for ourselves and others, but that healing would be His preference for us. Which would mean breaking the Law and taking the other person back, if they come back, repentant. Like Jesus said, let him who is without Sin, cast the first stone. And who amongst us men, hasn't, even once, lusted. Except for a rare few Eunuchs. God promised Hosea that he would remove Baal from the lips of Gomer (meaning Sate, as in men satiated themselves with her). She was hautey when she left him, but when she hit the wall, she returned, repentant, and appreciated Hosea as a Husband, not just her Master. Like us with God. At first we see Him as killjoy, a Master. But then we see him as a Husband, like Husbandry, the care of animals and plants. A carer. And suddenly submission, surrender, to Him, becomes a little easier. So we can break the Law, and take back our wives, like God took back Israel, like Hosea took back Gomer, because the Law of Love supercedes all Mosaic Law.
It's important not to forget grace entirely, but using the grace of GOD to justify ones own actions is wrong and is like spitting on the blood of JESUS. When we know we are wrong we know! When GOD gives us direction we better go or we will end up in confusion. Don't confuse lustful desires with the will of GOD. It is important also to follow GOD's plan for our lives as He reveals it to us even when we make the wrong decisions going against his plan for our lives. I believe many people make the wrong decisions and become stuck in a state of fear and confusion that the judgement of GOD is upon them already however, the judgement of GOD is yet to come. This to say dont let the devil get you using the bible against yourself or to direct your own life. But what GOD gives us in our relationship with JESUS is what we are to obey, but faith is required no matter what each way brings upon our lives faith to go and faith to make it all the way through. (Response to comments left here not to Pastor Skip)
Are you suggesting that a relationship with Christ makes the scriptures obsolete?
God hates devorce he can't change his mind on that. What he hates we must also hate as well. Second marriage if the first spouse is living is an adultery. Point blank and period brothers and sisters please do not be deceived and go to hell. I wanted to devorce my husband and God has convicted my heart and shows me if I must devorce my husband I can't remarry as long as my first husband is alive. Alot of preacher's not preaching the truth because they are living in sin themselves. Please repent it you are doing the wrong thing...... Do not live in adultery.....
Amen he is deceiving people. There is No remarriage unless death of a spouse.
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he liveth if she departs remain unmarried or reconcile. People use tge excuse/ loophole if you leave called to peace. You are still bound Paul will Not be contridicting himself.
John the Baptist lost his head on this Topic. Unless fornication, but that was for jews not us gentiles. Gomer and hosea also good example. God said to him go get your wife!!!! Not ex wife and she commited adultery. THIS GUY IS LEADING PEOPLE TO HELL
If husband commits adultery in 1st marriage, marries again to a woman who divorced husband for committing adultery, and husband in 2nd marriage suspects 2nd wife committing adultery (but cannot prove it), can that alone be included in the exception clause (except for sexual immorality), grounds for divorce?
In careful studying of Deut it is very clear that divorce is permitted only if a woman has committed fornication before the marriage. If we follow God's word we do well, if we teach different thoughts of men we cause confusion.
"GOD HATES DIVORCE" THE EVIL ONE HAD A PLAN ALL ALONG, THAT'S WHY SOUND DOCTRINE IS VERY IMPORTANT. THE LOVE OF MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.
"God hates divorce" does not equal "God forbids divorce" or "God doesn't recognize divorce." You do know that He divorced Israel, don't you? Then "remarries" to the Gentiles, who He calls His bride. Also, have you read the entire chapter of Malachi 2, where that verse comes from? You really should because it'll tell you what God really hates there. Again, He doesn't say you can't divorce and that it's a sin. You should have biblical grounds for divorce as a very last resort after all efforts to reconcile and the other person won't repent.
What was the name of the book?
🙏🏼❤️🌱
Were woman made to be helpers or were made to be slaves to men?
Apparently his family is NOT SINNERS
Jesus gives permission for husband to divorce his wife if she commits sex to another man (Matt 5 : 32a except for sexual immorality) then he allows to remarry (virgin woman)
Jesus does not give permission for wife to divorce her husband even though he commits sex with another woman or abusive. But if she does divorce her husband, she has to remain unmarried/unremarried or she can reconcile to her husband (1 Cor 7 : 10, 11)
Jesus forbides any man to marry divorced woman bcz its adulterous (Matt 5 : 32b, Luke 16 : 18b)
Men, do not divorce your wives because you see something you presume is better (hot chick on tv or dating app) the world will lie to you. Women, love your husbands. I hate divorce. HATE it.
So I suppose when you've endured 20 years of abuse from your spouse you should suck it up? Please, all you who want your marriage to continue use Matthew 19 as black and white...
I wish this man understood that what Christ taught, in the New Testament, does not uphold any of Moses's precepts. This includes Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (Moses's precept of divorce and remarriage). Romans 7, and Galatians 3, 4, and 5 make it very clear that Jesus's death on the cross freed the Jews from the law, and that there is no longer any Jew nor Gentile under the New Covenant with Christ.
AJ Louviere I don’t think you listened to the whole thing. This man like Jesus, and Paul understands the grass is dead on both sides of the marriage fence. Marriage is now only for the weak because men and woman are both so very very sinful, they cannot work anymore. He gets it. You don’t. Marriage is always a mistake, in spite of the fact that God wants people to marry, they are so treacherous, so adulterous they aren’t worth connecting with in covenant anymore.
Don’t get married, and be lonely. Get married and still be lonely, and experience treachery and betrayal non stop. Then according to you the only way out of a marriage where your spouse betrays you is to kill yourself, because “only death will end the marriage.” So you are condemning people to hell in both life and death. Hell by being tied to an unrepenant adulterer, and if they leave the unrepenant adulterer, they are now somehow responsible for the adultery contrary to Jesus words. If they don’t wish to partake in the partner’s sin their only option is to kill themselves. They can’t divorce without being responsible for their partner’s ongoing adultery. They can’t stay married without enabling the adultery. And the only option left is to kill themselves. So once again I will always oppose you. Because Jesus doesn’t require this. Jesus doesn’t make you responsible for someone else’s choice to sin. You do that. Whatever god you follow may require that, it isn’t the Jesus that I serve.
@@johnborland7865 you are appealing to the desires of man, not God. People that divorce then remarry treat sex as a right, rather than a reward for abiding in Christ. Sex is meant to be between a husband and his wife who have become one-flesh in a covenant of marriage. This has always been between a man and a woman who have each never been married before. When the scriptures say that "marriage is honorable in all and the marriage bed undefiled" it means even marriages between unbelievers. This is just one of many scriptural guideposts that affirm the permanence of the one-flesh covenant of marriage.
AJ Louviere No you treat sex as a worthless and irrelevant thing. Adultery permanently and irrevocably damages a marriage relationship. Once it occurs according to you, there is no allowance for divorce, because you can’t forgive them the covenant and move on. You aren’t allowed to kill them, as the Old Testament holds as the ideal punishment, because you say that is unforgiveness, even when they are unrepentant, and not interested in not living apart from you or in another relationship. The New Testament requires you to provide for your family, so you are forced to support this person financially in their adulterous relationship, and partake in their sin that way. If you divorce them, you have said you partake in their sin by divorcing them. So you can’t divorce them without supporting their adultery in your doctrine. You can’t stay with them without actually supporting them in their adultery. The only option left is for the innocent party to kill themselves. You don’t leave any other option. And that option isn’t biblical, but not ever in all of our discussions have you ever offered another practical solution other than a “Jesus is the option.” Yeah, he is the answer to almost every question in Sunday school as well. But “Jesus is the answer” isn’t a practical solution is marriage is permanent to not supporting a spouse who won’t repent from adultery. That’s not who and how God was. The answer is love. The answer is forgiveness. You forgive them the covenant and let them live on as they choose. JUST LIKE GOD DID WITH ISRAEL. He divorced them and let them live as they choose, while God kept His options open. God would have been permitted to marry any other nation on the earth if He chose. So anyone who who is divorced for sexual immorality is permitted to remarry if they are that stupid.
AJ Louviere The whole reason I’m so against marriage now isn’t about sex. It’s about intimacy. Humans aren’t worth being intimate with anymore. Intimacy is so much more than sex. More than that if it’s all about sex then why is adultery not a big deal to you worth ending the relationship or perhaps ending the person over? If sex is the penultimate expression, not intimacy, then adultery should be an even bigger deal. You have stated, actually stated that the marriage covenant doesn’t have a requirement of fidelity. Because you said there is no way out of the marriage covenant, so it didn’t have any term other than the fact that once entered you can’t end it. (If that’s the case you’ve never answered why bother getting married at all then, sex isn’t worth that much is it are you that pathetic?)
Death is the only thing that can break a covenant!
Mark 10:11 ESV / 138 helpful votes
And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her,
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 ESV / 135 helpful votes
To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
Luke 16:18 ESV / 125 helpful votes
“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
What if your wife leaves. There's nothing you can do. The bond was broken. Your heart is broken and you are helpless in the outcome. Court date comes you just agree to the agreement. The reason because the child you helped bring into this world could be used against you in the most evil way possible. You get them four days a month. The kid is filled with resentment towards you. They grow older every day. Each time you see then they are a little taller and hair is little bit longer. They barely know you. This was not your choice. Yes you accept that you marriage was flawed but never was there any respect of letting you know when things were heading south. Unlike you ex-wife you loved her despite her flaws.
I didn't put my wife away. I was taken out like the trash.
Where is there any correlation between this scripture and this situation I'm in. I've brought it to God. Admitted my faults and failure of not loving my wife as Christ loves the church. Remarriage is something I'm on the fence about. I loved being a married man. I have much to offer a new wife. When time comes about. I'll likely entertain the idea. With much consolidation of the Holy spirit. What is your answer about this?
@@jhunley81
My heart truly bleeds for you regarding this manner. I am not sure that you will like my response. Please know that they are not mine own words, but rather they are the words of our LORD and savior Jesus Christ.
People suffer because of the hardness of hearts. You are to pray to God, our father in Heaven that he would soften your wife’s hardened heart consistently. Daily, and without fail. It may seem impossible to you, yet even still you are to have faith in knowing that God and God alone has the power to reconcile your marriage. I understand what you are going through is difficult. And I acknowledge the way that your wife is dealing with you is very treacherous. However you are still to remain in good standing with the LORD when it comes to his word on divorce and remarriage.
I pray that your wife will return to you, and that you are able to reconcile. But you must pray without ceasing.
As for your wife, she will have to answer to God for her choices and actions. Do not fall into sin because your wife failed to take your covenant seriously. I am going to share some videos below that preach the “REAL TRUTH” about divorce and remarriage. 9 times out of 10, a pastor of a mega church isn’t going to preach the truth regarding this message because ye would lose about 90% of his congregation. This is why it is important to study the scriptures for yourself.
Please see the video link below which cover the true Biblical text regarding all matters of divorce and remarriage.
Who’s death? The adulterer or do you believe Ephesians 5:25 requires the physical death of the non adultery committing party?
@@johnborland7865
I believe everything that a posted in the above comment that you replied to.
@@crwnofenlightenment then who needs to die, since Jesus death isn’t enough who else betrayed or betrayer to the covenant.
Disappointing to see Skip pandering to the audience in the end. Divorce and remarriage, especially due to one's own adultery, is a major sin against God where forgiveness belongs to God. An unrepentant adulterer (e.g. remarriage after committing adultery) very likely will end up in the lake of fire! HAVEN'T YOU READ Revelation 21:8??
C P Jesus makes it clear that the wife, in Matthew 5:31-32, is not being charged with premarital fornication during the betrothal. She is clearly being recognized as a one-flesh covenant spouse in these verses, the same as in Deuteronomy 22:19, and is being caused to commit adultery because she is divorced, and whosoever marries her that is divorced commits adultery. None of the scriptures give an allowance, for those who have not violated the marriage bed, to remarry while they have a covenant spouse still living.
@@ajlouviere202 Agree, thanks for raising an important point in addition to the comment I made above. An innocent spouse is not free to remarry, as long as the original spouse is still alive. From the Scriptures it appears that if the other spouse insists on leaving or divorcing unilaterally, the innocent spouse should let them go, however, the innocent spouse should remain single and celibate, until/unless the original spouse is deceased.
@@ajlouviere202 Since you're well versed on this topic, I have a real life scenario interested in your thoughts: A woman leaves her husband and lives with another divorced man. Years later she and her husband filed an official divorce while she continued living with the same man and represented themselves as husband and wife to all relatives and friends (without legal marriage). The second man eventually got into more sexual sins and immorality and walked out on the family after 15 years. Shortly after that the first guy/husband (who remained single all these years) died in a heart attack, two weeks before the woman got baptized and became a Christian. Questions - Is the 2nd relationship considered marriage in God's eyes? If not, is the woman allowed to remarry now that the husband/ first guy is deceased?
@@CP-zb3ky yes. The scriptures make it clear that when a man, who has never been married, and a woman, who has also never been married, pledge to marry (betrothal/engagement) before God, then come together at the end of this period and consummate their pledge followed by dwelling together, they become one-flesh in a covenant of marriage. From this point forward, they are no longer two separate individuals but one-flesh. They are not separated by sin, nor by divorce, but only in one, or the other's death. The covenant that is made before God on this day does not give way to the sins of one, or the innocence of the other, but is to be honored in all, and the marriage bed left undefiled. Those who go outside of the marriage covenant, and do not repent, are judged as adulterers, and shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
@@ajlouviere202 So the marriage starts at covenant before God and consummation of one-flesh. In my example the first marriage (a legal marriage made before God and consummated) is a covenant marriage. When the wife left to live with a divorced man she committed adultery. Her subsequent divorce from the first husband does not end that original marriage in God's eyes. Her 2nd longtime relationship (albeit representing to others as husband and wife) is not marriage but a sinful adulterous relationship. When the long-time live-in boyfriend left it actually freed her from living in sin. However, her only option if she didn't want to stay alone, would be to return to the first husband. Miraculously the first husband died shortly after which now left her a widow in God's eyes. Two weeks after he died she was baptized and became a Christian. It seems that she's now allowed to re-marry, however, the new guy must also be a Christian who's not a divorcee and who God approves. Do you agree with the above?
The nearest guy please skip him he is deceiveng people
Trust me this guy is a sinner SKIP THIS SERMON LITERLY SKIP
Are you the world's first sinless human after Jesus???? Wow!!!
@@em77775 dit i say that. i Repent when i sin.i have no sin. Repentence means ask forgiveness and STOP the sin. And i will NOT keep silent about false teaching. Good luck