5 Surprising Things Confident People Don't Do
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- Опубликовано: 30 июл 2024
- There are specific things that confident people don’t do. Why? Because they know that falling into the trap of doing these things is going to make them feel insecure, self-doubting, and unsure.
Confident people know that being intentional about not letting themselves do these things is both going to help them become more confident and is also going to help them maintain that confidence.
In this episode of Good For Me TV, we talk about what 5 things confident people don’t do and what you can do right away to start making these big confidence boosting shifts yourself!
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Confident people don’t put down others.
Some codependents fit this, yet they are far from confident
I couldn't agree more!
You mean 'self' confident people. Some arrogant people do, and while they Express outward levels of confidence, they are covering up their inadequacies by insulting/belittling others.
Yeah, I've noticed that at times when I'm feeling confident, it's not even on my radar to worry about other people's issues and criticize them or gossip about them. It's like, I've got my crap, they've got theirs.
I struggle to find the appropriate words to say how profoundly you have blessed my life. My life since childhood has been constant navigation of torment and abuse doled out by other humans. Your videos challenge, encourage and empower me. You have my sincerest gratitude.
Lisa! This couldn't mean more to me - thank YOU for taking the time out of your life to say so.
Lisa JW me too
1. Confident people don’t let fear and self doubt make decisions for them. They know fear is coming along for the ride anyway. They acknowledge fear doubt.
2. Confident people don’t believe everything they think and/or feel. They acknowledge the feelings and thoughts but they don’t let those thoughts and feeling to rule.
3. Confident people don’t get overly critical of themselves or they stop themselves if they do!
4. Confident people don’t let others push them around or treat them anyway. They don’t push their ideas on others and they don’t allow others to push their on them.
5. Confident people don’t have be special to be confident.
I will not put others down, or allow others to put me down. Thank you so much for this video. 🧡
Yassss!! high fives.
Good for you Bea. I am the same. I often struggle with the backlash our honorable and right behavior produces in the plentiful narcissists out there though. May I ask how you deal with the backlash?
@Anton Boludo That's the Heart Subordinates. Confident People won't crave to see others hurt....
I used to say things like "I'm such an idiot" a lot. Now that I'm older, I make a point not to do this....to be careful with my words. Sometimes, when I'm alone, and I catch myself putting myself down for simple mistakes, I actually say "stop it" out loud. It seems to work as it shuts down any negative internal chatter pretty quickly.
Love this! And yes, that is SUCH a good strategy to say "stop it" to ourselves. Sometimes I'll say outloud "not helpful!" Thanks for sharing with us.
sks bc 🙏❤️
I relate both to the affliction you described and the solution you have used for it.
Finally someone who is officaly educated about what this stuff! Love your videos! Helped me a lot.
This video is really good!!!
It is so spooky how every, single time you post a new video it is exactly what I need to hear at that exact same moment!
I was really struggling with my codependent tendencies recently and feeling very insecure, but after watching this (3x!) I was able to get my footing and overcome the issue. It even led to a breakthrough with my husband!
Thank you for being my personal guru and mentor!
Whoa, whoa, whoa Daisy!! This is AMAZING!! I couldn't be more happy for you! Thank YOU for sharing this with me and letting me be a part of your journey.
Thank you julia kristina , for this film.
The carre haircut makes you prettier than ever.
Confident people dont bother to prove anything to anyone. They dont really care what other peoplle think about them.
Confident people can pospone any response/reaction to aggression , trusting themselves to prevail eventually.
Confident people do not show off.
I dont want to be confident, because , over confidence is a personal security hazard. I rather be cautious and careful.
Self doubt has been a struggle with me; I’ve done a lot of work on this, having to put one step forward
U r hands down,
pure awesome sauce.
This world needs u. 👋🙂😘
I really needed to hear this now. I’m feeling much better now, with more confidence to start a new thing despite fear in the background. Thank you.
I love the beautiful simplicity of how your videos are shot, and I love your message even more! I listen to you
at nite to continue my own personal growth and hit the reset button! I love your message 💕
Amen to all these things (especially what you said in the beginning "they don't let themselves go there" - because confident people still have these thing come up, but they just don't follow the rabbit down that hole). To add to this, confident people don't gossip, don't compare themselves to others (but do celebrate others and learn from others successes), and they don't think they need to know it all, but they know they can figure it out!
Amen Tara - AMEN!!
Thank you so much. You are helping me reshape my mindset.. I really need these videos and I'm so grateful. Blessings!
Thank you, those things you mentioned about not putting yourself down I'm going to do.😀
Where have you been, for all of my time on RUclips, Julia? Great video!
Thank you. So helpful. I'm going to practice your great advice!
Just found you! Had a horrible bout of afib; Suspect from anxiety at work. Every video I watch feels more empowering! Taking notes to have I front of me...and likely watch all them 10 times till I feel it! Thank so much! Liked and subbed!
Julia has such expressive movements and expressions that its worth turning the sound volume off just to enjoy the animation by itself !
Great video! I want to commit to work on the first, and the fourth. Stepping out of my comfort zone, even if I have fear and not believing everything I think.
I’m going to the ticket booth to exchange my ticket for Crappyville! I so needed to hear all of these, especially#3. Thank you, Julia Kristina! 🙏💕
thanks for your videos...this one in particular helped me.
I love your montra, Confident people don't have to feel special or the best at something. They are happy with who and where they are. Especially if they are being their best possible selves whether it's in their profession or in their everyday lives.
My friend started off watching Vids and felt compelled to explain herself and share her insights here on RUclips. There is a Live format on the social media platform Twitter where she plans on providing real time information and opinions.
She is one of those people that gets scared often but just tries to get curious about her physiological response and the emotional state that arises because of it. She just gets good at paying attention.
Thank you .I'm very glad that I've discovered your channel . Bless you ;)
Hi Julia,
I am currently watching all your videos and have already had some OMG moments. I have experienced a really difficult few months where I fell deeply in love and it ended really badly and actually writing a book about the experience. Your videos have helped me to really see who I really am and how I react to other people.
I am so glad to have come across your videos it has helped me a lot thank you very much. Dealing with toxic people and insecure people is not easy these days you are videos goddess on the right path of how to overcome these obstacles keep up the great work and I have now a subscriber.
I LOVE your videos! Amazing. I’ll definitely spend some time in your channel. Thanks
This was great, a very unique twist to a common subject! Kudos on the fantastic video
Thanks for your support! Which one connected with you most?
Love all your videos Julia.
I agree with you that we need to stretch ourselves and to go outside our comfort zone. It's only the way we can grow. Sometimes growth can be tiring and diffcult because you are also dealing with your insecurities and self doubt, but i do not think there is any other way.
Love the honesty!
Right On!! Really loved what you had to say on each of the five Points about confident people. I can totally relate to your take on it. Here is a quote from Abraham Lowe " feelings are not facts, they lie and deceive and tell us of danger when there isn't any"
Thanks for the video
So glad it connected. Yes, feelings can be really helpful, but they also can totally get the better of us! Thanks for watching and great to have you here.
Brava Julia, brava!! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Christine! You are the best.
This is amazing and very helpful ✨
This is a great video. Thank you for posting.
Thanks Julia for this video. So interesting. I really wish to connect to an online community who genuinely care about each other and can support each other in difficult times. We really need such communities.
Hi Julia, thank you for another great video! And thank you so much for emphasizing that working on oneself and stretching oneself is a natural need of humans. For me (and definitely for many others) it takes away a bit of the fear of starting anything mildly challenging. Sometimes I even find myself putting of reading a (non-fiction) book just because I'm afraid I won't be a good enough and attentive enough reader. Which is extremely stupid, I know :)
It's not stupid at all! Have you ever asked yourself why you worry that the book won't be good enough and why that matters?
Such good advise , thank you Julia
New Subscriber from Mumbai, India. Loved the 5th one. Need to work on setting healthy boundaries.
I see your videos every day and it is so helpful...... I'm grateful to you..
Sometimes life adventures could be more fun if we bring "fear" with us along the way... and eventually we'll realize it makes a difference on the trip ✨
You're briiliant. So glad you overcome the first 200 to be here now.
I loved both the 5 for insecure and 5 for confident. I found something interesting; I use "judgement" for insecurity and that was also the only one one the confidence list that I failed. So that's nice and easy to focus on...one life sucking behavior that needs to go! Stop judging yourself and others. "I love myself as I love others". We are all amazing creatures.
I just love you, you make allot of sense
thanks for the advice!
I am very great full for this great video it’s helping me build my confidence thank you so much
More of this! So many of us have grown up with such negative programming that I have been and will continue to surround myself with healthy people and healthy thoughts to counter act and reprogram that which had been set in place since birth.
Yes!! Instead of thinking about all the things we're not, let's focus on celebrating all the things we ARE!!
Love this video Julia!
SO so glad it connected.
Great video, Thank you.
Thank you for doing this video
Hi Julia, your amazing and I appreciate you, hugs girl,
love it!!
I need to step into my power and potential!
I just found your videos
I like your knowledge and personality very much
Love this!
Thanks Lana!! you're the best. xo
Thank you.
Thanks Doc
Absolutely my pleasure Mandy. Thank YOU!
Thank you I like this video.
I tend to be overly critical and it feeds into my anxiety
I definitely have a one way ticket to feeling crappyville!! Love that...I need a new destination. I have a question. How do I know if it is my self doubt and fear talking or whether it is time to make a change in my life/job?
Tammy, that's a BIG question. There's a difference between fear and preference, so you may want to check in with yourself and ask yourself if it's fear of a challenge or stepping up that's holding you back, or it's just really not the right fit. Only you know the answer to this if you take some time to listen to the whispers deep within.
I used to think I was my own biggest impediment to success and happiness, kind of like how Groucho Marx said “I wouldn’t be a member of a club that let me be a member.” It was the very opposite of confidence, everything about me thwarted any possible progress. With time and effort, it’s turned around and I’ve embraced confidence by becoming self-advocating. Confident people do NOT endlessly ruminate, be hypercritical or negativistic.
So true last quote btw
Hi! Wonderful video. Cute laugh at 9:53 . Happy Thanksgiving!
So glad you liked it - thanks for saying so ;-) And happy (American) Thanksgiving to you too!
Julia Kristina Counselling ❤️
Julia Kristina Counselling you’re most welcome ❤️
I noticed about me: I call myself a jerk when it comes to experiences with men. I ask myself: why didn’t I say that at the time;why did I do that. Uuuugh. I want to continue to be a confident person, standing in my imperfections and superpowers and be proud of them. Those will lead me to HIM.
Jud Jones I think that worry about what we say just means we are conscientious and we can learn to be confident in that too. For instance having confidence in making higher our expectations of being mindful of our past critiques of conversations we have had. Confident people worry about what they say and do as well, if it is not false bravado they are comfortable in updating their way of doing things. Plus, excellent confidence knows when to reduce the perceived scale of a worry when it is exaggerated. Or to increase the scale of worry if it is too mild.
That's great 👍
Which one of these shocked you most?
The second one surprised me because so often people say to trust your gut. The idea that thoughts and feelings lie is interesting.
@@rebeccajones9757 it is good to trust our gut or our intuition - out intuition is where our heads and our hearts meet, but that's not the same thing as letting our often fickle emotions lead the way. Does that make sense?
I could use some practice in learning which feelings to trust.
'Disasters , failure, triumph etc is just an experience' i think this word shake me the most...thanks julia. Btw Can you make video how to be more charming/charismatic.
I loved your reference to "Crappiville" and no, sorry but you're not the "Mayor" of that town lol Julia Kristina Counselling. We share that leaders "seat" lol
Haha, love it. It's a deal.
Never heard no.5 before but by Instinct, not exalting or Bragging. like The Lion don't have to Explain himself....
❤️😘⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🙌perfect thinking
One more thing, is it ok to fail. I know perfectionists set their goals high, but what about those of us who can not, at first, set their self expectations high enough to get out of a bad place? Or to avoid going to a bad place? Also how, when the way forward is down, do we survive a crisis like failure or reassignment of lower status than our potential calls for? How do we work at it amidst our own despair and the feeling of guilt and helplessness when we have already failed at something? Especially something very important, but also all the little things.
I found you on periscope! Yay!
Oh wow!! So great to connect with you here.
“WHAT YOU FOCUS ON, EXPANDS”
I need some help, I struggle with anxiety with people and work and depression. Self doubt and feeling insecure just cripples you. I haven't worked for quite a while. I feel so rubbish about life and wish I had some confidence, asssertiveness like other people so I could get a job and move forward like everyone else. I have hit a wall and not sure what I'm supposed to do.
Hi Julia, Just an observation, you have great empathy and I can sense that you would love to be a healer. After all that is what counselling is, healing. I wonder, could empathy from a person counselling be used first for diagnosis (sensing the pain) then for establishing and maintaining rapport whilst searching and sharing the search for an excellent cure and future prevention routine, including helpfully yet realistically raising expectations internally and externally. A Woman named Vanessa Van Edwards does a success based psychology youtube show (I’m not trying to advertise) and in one of her talks she mentions that in behavioural studies they have shown that high expectations from people spark high effort and create a higher success rate. Another idea I have is that in a show like Julia Kristina Counselling, you have an audience to test your ideas. You could ask them to use the ideas and give feedback and do your own little behavioural study. After all you have over 60k subscribers.
Hi Julia and youtubers, I love the video and I have a question. I struggle with the ones about believing my thoughts and getting overly critical of myself. As you described it like going down the rabbit hole of 'i had this thought and it means i am the worst...etc etc...' I do this often but I am dealing with trauma around the things that come up and I wondered what is the best way to treat myself in those times? Eventually I will always come around and realize that they are just thoughts but in the moment its crushing, like extreme hopelessness and sadness and crying. I am in therapy already so I have that support and its wonderful, I'm just looking for even more perspectives on this. THANK YOU
Aimee, during these times the most powerful thing we can do is be with our feelings and learn to unattach ourselves from them using mindfulness. Do you have my free guided Mindfulness exercise yet? If not, here's the link: tt.juliakristina.com/free-mindfulness/
You're going to love it and it's going to be huge in helping learn to just notice your thoughts and feelings when you're having them without trying to chase them away, or get stuck in the spiral of them.
Let me know what you think!
Well if you're the Mayor then I was a town founding member. I'm growing and improving one moment at a time.
you are so go keep it up
confident people put down others
Agreed!!
sarah jane Galbin : Confidence often is confused with arrogance, and arrogant people compensate for their lack of competence by being jerks!
Lately, I've been noticing that I'm constantly judging myself when I am around people. It's like I have this fear that if I am not perfect around them (like being more empathetic, listening more, etc), I worry that they will judge me and therefore abandonment- which isn't true! But still my brain tries to judge my actions towards others. I kindly try to replace them with more loving thoughts or tell myself that I can relax, but it's so hard for me to actually relax. And even worse, when I talk about myself or put myself in the spotlight I sometimes have thoughts that I am being too self-absorbed- which isn't true! It is like I am constantly on guard and all of this causes me anxiety. How do you stop these types of thoughts from occurring? Thanks!
Sarah, this is everything! And it starts with building our relationship with ourselves from the inside out. In the new year, I'm going to be launching an in-depth group coaching program that is going to be all about breaking through fear, anxiety, and self-doubt so you can love who you are, stop second guessing who you are, and live more fully and freely. Are you on my mailing list so you don't miss the email announcing registration when I send it out?
Sarah Swan you sound just like me. It’s our desire to be more loving that makes us feel like we’re not loving enough.
I remind myself of how beautiful a person must be to constantly worry about being more loving. I remember that that person (yourself/myself) deserves the same level of love and understanding that we wish to give to those around us.
When you feel you’re not doing right/enough...remember that you truly know nothing (including what others feel or why). I free myself from judging myself just like I do others. I remind myself that it is my intentions that determine my fate. “No judgment. No desire”. No judgement of myself, for the thoughts of others. And no desire to be anything...but well-intended. No one knows your intentions but you, the rest is not your job to judge. The mind is man playing “God”.
Much much unconditional love to you. God judges the heart not our limited minds.
"If you can dream, and not make dreams your master,
If you can think, and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with triumph and disaster,
And treat these two impostors just the same..."
It is a hard thing to accept. Interacting with people will be disappointing. People will judge you. People will reject you. The herd is shallow. It is how you deal with it. Knowing that is half the battle. It is OK to like yourself. Doing it isnt so easy. Im definitely not perfect.
Do you have Google podcast channel?
I’v signed up for 25 ways to say No but never received it in email. Please check it.
Great videos u have, but the white background hurts my eyes, have you ever tried black background.. u will stand out better..
❤️
Julia it's KI
Get a tv show...and ah PhD
You don't need a PhD you are fully qualified
But public places value in paperwork
Seriously get a show#
You are engaging, have value driven content...your sign language and cues are spit on...not radio btw
TV
Maybe start on BBC
Not US....
I Am not kidding around
And shall continue bold support until this happens
Who am i...my ma in psyche, I am a writer
Used to write a few articles on a little newspaper...your charming...an assett...perfect tv material
2.00
Gorgeous
Too many hand mannerisms is taking away from my ability to focus on the things being said. Mannerisms should be used sparingly to emphasize a thought or point. I'll try another time. Maybe my focus will return.
What I do if the "visual" distracts me is not look at the speaker with profound focus, just glance a little at them, and put your focus on what they are saying. You could read comments, preview your emails, straighten up your room, dance a jig. Sometimes if we focus on that which annoys us we can't think/focus on anything else. The speaker has some fresh ideas which can help us all.
Thank you!
Not having to be perfect.
solid chick.
my 1000 were awful!! the outfits I wore!!! terrifying!!
I love being me, but self-growth takes persiverence..
People pleasers are playing a role that is false. Confident people don’t feel the need to be any particular way. They have the ability to just “be.” They talk when they have something to say, not because they have to say something. They are comfortable with silence.
I promess myself not yo let other people manipulate my dissions
Yes!
you're the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen
Talking bad to myself...all my life....
🤪 you touch very slightly on toxic people again. This seems to be a big issue in pop psychology at the moment. I would like to suggest, from a layperson’s perspective, that we need to become skilled at showing toxic people kindness and how they can be kind. After all, they probably know they are doing something wrong, but it’s their learnt strategy so why just challenge them on their bad behaviour? They may just see that as part of the game. Could we show them a better strategy that is more effective yet has excellent conscience and good will, then they may adopt better behaviours. I say this because the most successful prison system, in terms of recidivism, treats the inmates with greater kindness and more respect than any other prison system. They don’t respect the crime or the attitudes that led to the crime, they respect the humanity and potential kindness of the inmates. Perhaps that attitude has the same effect for toxic people who are not criminals.
I actually don't believe in toxic people - I think people can exude toxic behaviours, but it always stems from their own pain or trauma. I also strongly believe in compassion and understanding, but THAT SAID, it does not give ANYONE carte blanche to treat people however they want. Everyone who behaves poorly is doing so for a reason and it's up to me to decide where my boundaries are, and what role I want to play in their pain.
Julia Kristina Counselling I like your idea that there are no toxic people, only toxic behaviours exhibited by hurt, desperate or misguided people. I think boundaries can be powerful yet simple and they must contain some sort of faith and/or high expectation of the other. On the other hand, I have seen some women, mostly metalheads, goths and punks that exude a raw yet mythical sense of power in their boundaries which are easy to respect or even fear. So which is better for boundaries, exuding that you expect to be treated like a sister/brother/mother that you must treat well, which must be reciprocal, or a boundary of flame and lightning that strikes the one who would transgress any boundary if they were not so energetically forced to be repulsed about transgression? Or am I overcomplicating? Is a boundary simply expressing with body language and tone of voice what you do not want?
Julia Kristina Counselling Also, how do we teach people to respect vulnerability by setting virtuous enough boundaries on their own behaviour. After all, sometimes a woman might want to test a man on his treatment of children, because if he acts badly when someone is without boundaries, how will he treat children? So should there not be time to practise appropriate behaviour in all sorts of occasions, at least through visualisation or attempting to become clear on the matter?
Quantum The Rose : Why would you set someone up to “test” them? That’s dishonest.
Get to the points please.