MONTESSORI and RIE PARENTING // Key Similarities & Differences
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 31 июл 2024
- MONTESSORI and RIE PARENTING // Key Similarities & Differences
********
READ my new book “The Montessori Home: Create a Space for Your Child to Thrive” - geni.us/MontessoriHome
LEARN MORE about Montessori at Home and Positive Discipline Parenting - montessori-at-home.teachable....
JOIN the “Montessori Parents” community - montessoriparents.mn.co/
BOOK a 1:1 coaching session with me - www.ashley-yeh.com/coaching
********
//IN THE VIDEO:
○ "Montessori Basics" video - • MONTESSORI AT HOME: Wh...
○ Janet Lansbury's Podcast - www.janetlansbury.com/podcast...
○ RIE Foundations Course - www.respectfulcaregiving.org/...
○ "Your Self-Confident Baby" book - amzn.to/3niPW6q
//SHOP:
○ Our Montessori-Friendly Amazon Storefront - www.amazon.com/shop/hapafamily
○ My Montessori Printables Shop - www.teacherspayteachers.com/S...
○ Montessori & Me (Mike’s business!) - www.montessoriandme.us
○ Sprout Montessori Furniture (10% off with code HAPAFAM) - sprout-kids.com/?ref=ashleyhapa
○ Lovevery Play Kits - lovevery.pxf.io/hapafamily
○ Monti Kids ($60 off with code HAPAFAM) - shrsl.com/1rvp4-23lb-x8l2
○ Montessori by Mom ($10 off with code HAPAFAM) - www.montessoribymom.com/?a=7648
○ Manine Montessori (10% off with code HAPA10) - manine-montessori.com
○ Prepared Montessorian Institute (Montessori teacher certification) - preparedmontessorian.com
○ For Small Hands (Montessori materials for home) - shrsl.com/3lfub
○ Little Passports - bit.ly/3zcLvRl
○ KiwiCo - bit.ly/3o0nI0q
○ Montessori Baby Topponcinos - bit.ly/2WCurzX
○ Sarah’s Silks - bit.ly/2lSCWYS
○ Yoto Player - tidd.ly/3uuukrt
//RECOMMENDED READING:
○ My NEW Book "The Montessori Home" - amzn.to/3bxPs6E
○ The Joyful Child - amzn.to/3HU1cQ9
○ The Montessori Baby - amzn.to/3y0SURL
○ The Montessori Toddler - amzn.to/3OOLM1V
○ Montessori from the Start - amzn.to/3niypLH
○ How to Raise an Amazing Child the Montessori Way - amzn.to/3nnh04q
○ Your Self-Confident Baby - amzn.to/3niPW6q
○ How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk - amzn.to/3fZrfeU
○ Unconditional Parenting - amzn.to/3HVcd3u
//AUDIO+VIDEO GEAR USED:
○ My Camera - amzn.to/3y1kZIU
○ Vlogging Lens - amzn.to/3QPZLpT
○ Sit-down Video Lens - amzn.to/3ub3eWj
○ Drone - amzn.to/3NpH35I
○ Microphone - amzn.to/3QTdL1Z
○ Vlogging Tripod - amzn.to/3ypSsOD
○ Sit-down Video Tripod (similar) - amzn.to/3OHQ9f2
○ Studio Light (similar) - amzn.to/3OQOqnT
○ Music & SFX - www.epidemicsound.com + zapsplat.com
//FOLLOW:
○ Subscribe to the channel - bit.ly/2MYJWie
○ Montessori at Home (the whole series) - goo.gl/NeBLhC
○ Montessori Activity Ideas (by age) - bit.ly/2Wpv8NB
○ Baby Led Weaning (mini-series) - bit.ly/334iXqH
○ Real Talk (mini-series) - goo.gl/izKgkn
○ Baby #2 Pregnancy Journey - bit.ly/2y3fHOE
//CONNECT:
○ Instagram - @hapafamilyvlog
○ Business Inquiries - hapafamilyvlog@gmail.com
DISCLAIMER: This video was not sponsored. The recommendations and opinions expressed here are completely my own. Some links included in this description may be affiliate links. If you purchase a product or service with the links that I provide, I may receive a small commission, but there is no additional charge to you. Thank you for supporting my channel so I can continue to provide you with free content each week! :)
#parenting #montessori #parentingchoices
It's a natural response to want to reassure a crying child but it's weirdly inbuilt in us to say "ssshhh, it's okay / you're okay" etc. I'm trying to go with "you're safe", "I'm here", "I'm with you" etc. I feel like that is truthful reassurance without invalidating their feelings?
Thank you so much for bringing more awareness to RIE! I think it’s a great way to interact with people no matter their age. I try to use a RIE approach with my patients in the hospital, and I feel it really creates an environment of trust and safety between me and my patients.
I wholeheartedly agree that it is a fantastic approach to cultivating respectful relationships with anyone in life, regardless of age. ☺️❤️
I initially thought of going shhhhhh was more of making whooshing calming similar to that of the womb.. it worked well for when my son was a newborn. It was my way of calming him. Every now and then I catch myself doing it now that he's a toddler when he gets hurt or has a nightmare. But, I still recognize his feelings. The issue is my mom has heard me do it, and now she does it every time he cries and so I need to change how I conduct myself because I am not only an example for my son, but how others treat him, too
I didn't expect to start crying and needed to take a minute when you mentioned the preparation of the adult to address our own childhood traumas and deal with the consequences within our own tendencies right now for the sake our children. I have had a difficult time this past year since i went into attachment theory and respectful parenting after i found thier videos, it has just been a tough situation handling everything on my own still dependent on my mother at times. I know its importantand worth it but its a lomg process.
It really is so difficult at times to look inward and face our own internal struggles. We must continually remind ourselves that it is the best kind of work, for the most worthwhile endeavor we will ever have the fortune of tackling in life… guiding our precious children. ❤️
@@HapaFamily completely😭these moments that are so difficult for usto process right now and these emotional behavioral tendencies that are hard to ajust into healthier habits, they really show the importance of what we do right now so our children don't have to go through the same thing themselves.
I also meant to type your* videos hahaha. All your videoes help to really realign myself with the parenting approach i aspire to and it helps visualise exactly the sort of communication and connection I want to have with my child. Thank you again.🥰
I wanted to take a moment to say thank you Ashley! You have guided me through enjoying my child. You have guided me through the wonderful concepts of montessori and adjacent concepts. Because of you i have found blw, respectful parenting, freedom of movement, creating yes spaces and so much more. So thank you! All of these have allowed me to take a deep breath, sit, observe and enjoy the development of my child. So often we forget to enjoy!
This is the best video in the playlist! When I was pregnant I read Magda Gerber’s book ‘Your Self-Confident Baby’. I loved it, but really couldn’t agree with the mirror part, it didn’t seem fair for my child not to see a mirror… :( because of that I started looking at different respectful approaches and that’s how I found Montessori. As I watched the (incredibly well put together) video I wondered if you were going to mention it because it literally made the difference for me :) today my 2.5 year old loves to look at himself in the mirror, he always smiles and says that’s him and ‘that’s mommy’ - so worth it.
You always have the best content presented in a super humble way. I just want you to know how positive your effect is on our family. God bless you
A couple of years ago I was researching different parenting styles when I came across RIE and fell in love with it. A few days into that rabbit hole I ended up watching your positive discipline video. Really enjoying the video I went onto your channel and started watching more of your videos. Thus started my longest lasting special interest to date and my first glimpse at what my future dream job would be. So when I say I was exited to see this video appear in my subscriptions page I really do mean it😆
Thanks for bringing REI to my attention, Ashley! I'd never heard of it before. I facilitate playgroups on child development for parents/caregivers, and what you're saying totally hits home the information we share on social-emotional development. If we want to teach our children to be respectful, we must model that same type of respect from the beginning! I often encourage my families to think back to their own upbringing and take note of how you were parented, what they appreciated and what they didn't, and how that resulted in the person they are today. It's not an easy exercise, but it certainly is eye opening! I've also used the example of having a partner or friend tell you "it's no big deal, you're fine" after a really tough day. If we wouldn't downplay the emotions of an adult, why is it okay to do it to a child?
Thanks for making an awesome informative video that is engaging. My daughter is turning 4 early next year and I'm glad I found your videos it helped me decide how me and my husband wanted to raise her since she was 1. Your daughters are well spoken and independent and I know your videos continue to help parents raise amazing kids as well. 👏
Thank you so much for taking the time to makes these videos to educate moms like me. ❤️
Your videos have been a huge inspiration for me to begin Montessori and using respectful parenting. I didn’t know about either of these until about a year ago. I have a now 5 year old and 1.5 year old and feel like these principles ahead changed our lives. Not sure if you’ve shared anything about this, but I’m curious how you brought up using the Montessori Approach and respectful parenting to your husband? I often feel like I’m lecturing My husband about all the things I’ve learned/read/listened to. I struggle to share information/how I think we can best utilize Montessori/respectful parenting with our kids without feeling like I’m telling him what to do. Not sure if that makes any sense but wondering if you have any tips on how to discuss with a spouse?
I would also love to hear this! My partner doesn’t follow different philosophies explicitly and I find myself going “we ask him if we can pick him up” etc! I don’t want to lecture him but I want our son exposed to respectful parenting regardless of the caregiver.
Same here I would love to read Ashley’s response to that question. It’s sometimes really hard to feel alone in the journey and not be able to share with your spouse…
This is such a good question. My partner isn't interested in reading or listening to parenting books and is quite stubborn about it, although at the same time open minded to seeing the results of respectful parenting.
I would show your partner an intro video or article and say “this is how I would like to parent. Can you please look take some time to learn and let me know what you think”
@@ariannalybaek27 thank you for the suggestion! I have been doing this but it often feels like (and my husband interprets it as) me lecturing or telling him what he’s doing is “wrong”. It’s tough!
As a Hungarian myself, it's strange, but cool at the same time to hear and learn about Gerber Magda and Pikler Emmi from your channel. :) It is also great that there are several approaches that are inherently the same, but different enough so everybody can choose which fits there lifestyle and attitude best.
Sad is: even though Magda Gerber was originally from Hungary, none of her books are available in hungarian :(
So well explained and easy to understand 🙂 lots of food for thought and things to research x thank you
I'm going to need to come back during nap time for this length but I am SO excited this video is finally here!!! 🤗
It ended up being so long, haha, but there was so much to talk about! 🤣 I hope you find it worthwhile!
@@HapaFamily Absolutely did!!
Thanks Ashley! Very valuable video.
I have a tour with a daycare that uses a combination of RIE, Montessori and Reggio approaches so I'm trying to educate myself about what RIE is. Interestingly enough, I have already been doing some of these things. I appreciate you making this video and breaking things down.
Thank you so much for sharing this video. It really helps.
So informative as always!
It’s my 3 year I’m watching you ,you became part of my weekly routine)))live to watch you .part of my life .want to see you with your family one day))
It's always so refreshing to hear how neutral your videos comparing approaches are. I'm left with the feeling that both approaches somewhat fill the gaps of the other. RIE outlines the infant home environment that we really don't have exact guidance on from Dr. Montessori herself, while the Montessori approach adds the closed-ended, "learning" activities ...aka the classroom aspect to the caregiving approach that is RIE. It is interesting to remember how I approached the first days with a newborn and realize how much they line up with RIE because I was not trying to implement anything in particular at the time, but simply in pure survival mode. There came a time when I was completely lost as to why Stella was crying, and I started taking a few moments to just look at her. Both to calm down, but also look for clues. With time, I really started to see small nuances in what she was trying to communicate. The same with diaper changes and getting dressed-she was typically very upset by these and, as a nervous reaction, I was just slowly describing what I'm doing hoping to help her feel less distressed. This really makes me think that RIE is rooted in such a natural, instinctual approach to caring for children! I have had the same feeling about Montessori as well.
The differences were very interesting to hear as I haven't had the chance to explore those further and didn't know about RIE's approach to mirrors and gates. The logic behind them definitely makes sense, but the Montessori approach to these worked well for Stella, but I do wonder how much of that is also her personality. The mobile is a very interesting point to me. We had a little play mat that also came with arches where we could hang cards or toys or turn on music. And Stella was VERY clear when there was too much going on, when she wanted the arches off, or when she was looking for them. Seeing how strong of an opinion she has in just about everything as a toddler, it definitely makes sense that she didn't always want something in her face when she was trying to hang out as a newborn!
I find it so interesting how our “default” modes as parents can all be so different - because mine as a first-time parent was definitely just an unending feeling of panic and “How do I make it stop NOW?!” 🥴 anyway, your comment also immediately called to mind for me another quote in Magda’s book “Your Self-Confident Baby” that I had highlighted because I loved it so much: “RIE philosophy is not something new, rather something that was in us all along. Maybe we just overlooked it because we were moving too fast, never taking the time to settle down and observe babies.” 🥰
@@HapaFamily love the comment! Oh and I definitely started at " how do I make it stop NOW?!" but when nothing worked and she kept crying and the panic kept building, it spiraled and I hit a wall. That was the wall that forced me to just look at baby and try to figure out what's going on 😅
I keep a book to note down what you say in montessori @home videos and visit all the links you post in the description. I was able to follow some of montessori concepts at home but not most as we are a big joint family.
Mirrors are avoided in indian homes for infants, till they reach a certain age. The reason is similar to that of rie approach.
Absolutely love this video, I’m knee deep into Montessori and this was so helpful to understanding the REI a approach.
I’m curious how do you present the videos so well, this was so much talking but it was so smooth and well put together. Do you refer to an outline and then freestyle the rest based on your knowledge? You’re such a good speaker!
I love both of these approach but in all honesty. I find it so hard when my strong willed 15 month old DOES NOT WANT ME TO PUT ON HER CLOTHES.
She cries and throws herself back. I try to keep calm and say "I know you don't like it. We have to put it on to keep you healthy and safe." and I "have to" somewhat force clothes on her while she rejects them. HOW CAN I DO BETTER? Anyone familiar with this approach, feel free to comment please 😊
I say "have to" because sometimes, there is a train to catch and places to be at a certain time. 😫
Have you tried giving her the chance to explore independent dressing? Even as little as pulling off her socks? My girl is 18 months and somewhere between 15 and 16 months she was doing the same-throwing herself around like jelly. We put up her wardrobe and on weekends or slow days, we took all the time in the world to dress. I'd let her pick an outfit. Then I'd show how I put a pant leg on and wait. Then I put another one one. And wait. She eventually would reach for hers and plop them on her legs. I'd use her hands to put one pant leg in. Then another. Then help her stand and do a dance to shimmy them up.
By the time we got through getting everything on a few times like this, she felt more familiar with the process. The novelty and unfamiliarity wore off. And she became more interested in completing some tasks alone and having me help with others so we could get to playing faster.
We did the same in the evening. She picks her pj. She's a pro at taking her socks off, so she starts there. I help hold a sweater arm and she pulls the arm out...and so on. The more she has been able to accomplish, the less upset she was with me helping. So if we are running late ro a doctor appointment, I just tell her now that mom needs to help you get dressed. We slept too long, and we need to hurry. You can help me with your jacket downstairs. Something to let her know it's not going to be a normal day.
I was not familiar with RIE, so this was all fairly new and pretty interesting to hear delineated.
Wonderful video, again!
Wish you could explain your reasons as ro why you choose Montessori over the other approaches. Hope you get to read my comment😬
Janet Lansbury‘a posdcast is my church sessions. Rie is basically my religion 😅
I notice if I don’t listen to her podcast regularly enough I lose my touch as a respectful parent. The RIE approach has been life changing for me and I swear it helped me get through depression about a year and a half ago. I needed clear guidance on how I should handle being a parent and normal toddler behaviors. The RIE approach is all that and a bag of chops.
There was an episode on Unruffled where her daughters (grown up) answer questions from people about their childhood through the RIE approach and it was so beautiful to hear “the other side” of the future that’s never clear in the now. They’re clearly such well grounded and healthy young women. It really helped solidify the faith I have in the approach.
We can do this 😊
Thanks for sharing! I commented on this vid but since you seem very well versed with this topic, I would like your opinion/suggestion, if possible 😊
Copy and paste comment below:
I love both of these approach but in all honesty. I find it so hard when my strong willed 15 month old DOES NOT WANT ME TO PUT ON HER CLOTHES.
She cries and throws herself back. I try to keep calm and say "I know you don't like it. We have to put it on to keep you healthy and safe." and I "have to" somewhat force clothes on her while she rejects them. HOW CAN I DO BETTER? Anyone familiar with this approach, feel free to comment please 😊
I say "have to" because sometimes, there is a train to catch and places to be at a certain time. 😫
SO excited for this video!! I've been waiting to hear your thoughts on RIE, especially since you've been taking a class on the topic. How has that been going, by the way? Have you found it to be worthwhile? I love this method and how much it goes hand in hand with Montessori principles 🙌🏻
It was a wonderful class, and I’m so glad that I took it! ☺️
I'm a homeschool nanny. I worked for a Waldorf family. I've been encountering people who claim to be Montessori, so I learned more about it. Now I'm learning about Charlotte Mason and RIE/Pikler. Anyway, Steiner also said, "take the child in reverence." Charlotte Mason said to provide the kid with opportunities to learn and follow their interests. Do you have videos on Charlotte Mason or Waldorf?
Anyone else have their heart drop when they saw the price for the course 😭 Thanks for this video and bringing more awareness to this topic. I'm always grateful for more information 🙏
Thank you so much Ashley!!!! I totally agree with you, I love both disciplines and they have brought lots of joy to our family. And yeah RIE can be applied with adults 😅, I have done it already and is the best. What I really really love about RIE is the fact you don’t have to teach anything to your child; and basically just let them explore by themselves; you just sit, observe and provided a rich environment for their development, I forgot, “and enjoy your kiddo” 😊. I have a question, who was your teacher/instructor? I really wanna take that course 🤩.
Christina Vlinder over at respectfulcaregiving.org 🥰 She’s great!
@@HapaFamily thank you ☺️
Made me think that some managers could really benefit from implementing RIE 😅
@@MariaandMontessori lol 😆
Funny. Vlinder means butterfly in my language.
Hi Ashley,
Regarding the approach not to interfere and not to rush babies development- what about when there is actually a delay? And as soon as we involve therapy it is best for the development
Ashley, something about RIE which I learned of in this video is pulling at my heart strings in a way no other philosophy (waldorf,reggio, or Montessori) has. I think I want to become a RIE associate but it is so expensive. How to I determine if this is the right path for me?
Can you explain difference between REI & gentle parenting?
Hi Ashley! I've been following your videos since I entered my second trimestre, realising that parenthood could be more interesting with more knowledge reather than repeating the same modeling of my parents' education. So thank you for all you're sharing in your lovely channel. One question regarding the part of asking for consent from the baby to pick them up to change the diaper, doesn't this fall into the non-negociable actions that we need to perform as parents and that you talk about in other videos? As "no" is not the answer you want when your child needs the diaper changed, isn't there anything else more appropriate to say respectfully to our baby to let them know that we need to change their diaper? Thank you!
Thank you so much for this video. I love both approaches and you have laid down so clearly the similarities and differences. I am wondering what are their view on tummy time? It seems no babies live tummy time and I am wondering whether that makes it falls under unnatural motor position. Thank you.
I dont know what their approach is but i questioned tummy time mania myself. I was feeling guilty i do not give my baby enough tummy time (he was not fan of it) although he was spending a lot of time on the floor. I confessed my guilt to our pediatrician when discussing his gross motor development. She asked "have i ever mentioned tummy time to you?" (Our visits last 1 h on avarage and she talks about age appropriate activities in detail) her thought is that tummy time has no added value as long as baby is free to move his/her body - meaning floor time. This is her medical answer so i wanted to share.
Hi Ashley,
Regarding to ask permission- what if the baby / infant / toddler won’t allow us to give them medicines?
Thanks for the great content. I have a question about Montessori toddler classroom, whatever i learned in my training as a Montessori assistant teacher and the tons of vedios I watched the reality is not as glamorous as it is in books or training, kids are never quiet rearly motivated to do work or listen, I use respectful discipline but I have not gotten the kids to normalized yet. Am I missing something? The school director criticized my gentle discipline and asked me in directly to yell and threaten the kids which I refused to do.
It takes a lot of support from the parents, assistant teacher (if there is one), and director of the school. Unfortunately, it sounds like you are really missing the latter 😔 my mom directs a Montessori schools for ages 3-12 and she is in the classrooms constantly helping the teachers find a plan of action or see what needs to be adjusted, especially during thw first month or 2! I can never get a hold of her because she is very involved. Not a micromanaging way, but really as a part of the team. You're right, in the modern day, it's not nearly as easy as the trainings make it out to be!
Can you link the quote you mentioned about hands? Please! Thank you!
I really loved that quote so much! You can find it in this article online: www.childcareexchange.com/library/5018340.pdf
@@HapaFamily Thank you, was about to ask the same :)
Is respectful parenting & gentle parenting the same thing ??
I am a new mom to a 5 month old. I noticed you said not to prop them up to sit. I dont do that but I will put her in a sitting position (on the floor) and having her practice supporting herself. She can do unassisted sitting for 2-4 seconds. Is it ok to do it that way? Also kinda the same with crawling. I will put her on her stomach and have her move however she wants. Sometimes ill put my hands behind her feet and have her push off them.
I also do that. You knows what’s best for your baby
Personally, my 15 month old is a very strong and steady walker and I think, that's because I let her move and sit at her own pace. I think there is no right or wrong but I do think in a way, it took her a lot longer to sit up independently but because the foundations are strong, she walked confidently younger (12.5 months). Just my own experience though. 😊
I just feel like I constantly try and FAIL to implement both these philosophies... don't know if it's me, my childred or what but...yeah...🤔
How many $$resources$$ is the class?
It’s definitely a bit of an investment. I linked (in the description box) to the Foundations course website for more information. :)
Hi Ashley ! Thanks for sharing all this information. I haven't finished the video yet but I'm wondering what's the difference between RIE and the positive discipline approach? Isn't kind of the same thing? 🤔
Hope you see this comment
They are not exactly the same, although there is definitely quite a bit of overlap! :)
My baby likes to wipe herself while I change her diaper. At first I was like no, but after observing I realized this is her taking care of herself and consenting to the process..
Thank you for this idea. My son hates diaper change and I don’t know how to “include” him in the process
What’s the podcast? Ruffle?
“Unruffled” - it’s linked in the description box! :)
Not rocking, not passifying, not shusshing.... Can I just point out that these techniques are not about "silencing a babies crying" or "communication" but soothing methods, sucking and shushing sounds are things that remind babies or experiences in the womb, they soothe babies. The comparison with someone coming home from work is ridiculous bordering almost on stupidity, such a person needs to express and communicate their day with words possibly in order to solve a problem which is solvable with words. Its an appropriate response to the problem. A baby that is feeling tired and is overstimulated does not need to rant about his day to let of steam he needs a soothing environment and sleep. Susshing is annoyingly and innacuratly catagorised here as "silencing" which again is ridiculous, the shushing sound is what humans naturally do to imitate the white noise sounds in vitro which babies find soothing. The connotation is obviously different if you make the sound to an adult.
Definitely see what you’re saying, but I think the “silencing” part she mentioned is more geared towards toddlers and not babies/newborn persay. Receptive language on the child’s part has to be there in order for you to be able to explain anything.
Yeah it would be like coming home after a hard day and your partner has run a bath for you and poured you a tea. You wouldn’t say “why are you silencing me?” It’s validating that the person wants to comfort you
I think the shushing is good for newborns but she's talking about older babies and toddlers.
This seems like an approach that leads to entitled kids who feel free to disrespect their parents. If my 8 month old baby needs a diaper change I’m not going to wait for him to show me confirmation that I can pick him up. This seems like teaching kids that their own parents need consent to care for them. Just my first thoughts.
Actually, it's all about respect. When you show your baby/child respect, then they'll recognize its importance. You may not be able to get verbal confirmation that a baby is ready to be picked up and changed, but you can say "hey baby, I'm going to pick you up now bc it's time to change you." And then you see them stop playing, make eye contact, and slightly lift their arms to be picked up. 8 month olds are entirely capable of that.