The Legend of Krod the Angry Carpenter | D&D Greentext Story
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- Опубликовано: 20 авг 2024
- The Legend of Krod the Angry Carpenter is a D&D Greentext Story that is now over a decade old. Listen to the story of a Dungeons and Dragon Half Orc Rogue that could intimidate wood and steal an entire door made of silver! It is "you no see Krod", not "you no see Grog". My boy Krod did it first.
Kozgugore by Eepox (Thumbnail Art):
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Help celebrate the 10th anniversary of this story by spreading it far and wide so we can honor this glorious adventurer!
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Kozgugore by Eepox (Thumbnail Art):
www.deviantart.com/eepox/art/Kozgugore-764225698
You Can Check Out More Stories Here!
ruclips.net/p/PLs2SsEFbEIfauDCJ2BODA-hGVuSjTj02K
"Krod never leave job half done, wenches half loved, or stuff half stolen." Krodd was such a chad, the epitome of an adventurer. XD
That line is one of the greatest summaries of a character’s motivation I have seen.
we need more krod
also gambaling debts
Never forget the gambling debts
He sorta reminds me of professor Hershel Layton
The fact that Krod is aware he isn't that sneaky and people do notice him, but are too afraid to admit it just makes this so much better
It’s definitely the alpha move. I feel like Paladin’s should take notice of this high charisma stealth method.
"Krod rolls to intimidate the space-time continu-"
NO. YOU. DON'T!
😂😂😂
Was expecting a “krod rolls to intimidate the dm”
@@Allantitan *Nat20*
*player stands over DM and stares at him until he starts writing*
@@AllantitanI can honestly imagine that. Just "krod rolls to intim-" gm "NO YOU DONT!"...."krod rolls to intimate gm..." I can just imagine the player glaring daggers coldly while saying it too
I love the immediate shutdown of the attempt to intimidate the space time continuum. He didn’t even get to finish, just instant “No you don’t.”
Good DM right there
Krod would've absolutely succeeded in intimidating the space-time continuum if he was given the chance.
This is the perfect gambit between a DM and a player and it kinda made Krod even more funny.
Yeah, this is the perfect amount of silly and the DM and player definitely know how to tow the line here.
"Krod never leave job half done, wenches half loved, or stuff half stolen. It matter of pride at this point!"
"and gambling debts"
Yeah that tracks for most adventurers
"Only things that see Krod are dead things and things that know better than to admit it".
Powerful line. Beautiful delivery.
Are you done with with constant lies, tasks being undone and presidents leaving you unsatisfied?
Vote Krod. Krod never leave job half-done, wenches half-loved and stuff half-stolen.
Krod the kind of guy to show up to the ceremony swearing in the mayor and just intimidate the crowd into thinking he ran and won himself. He would have won if he was actually on the ballot, but hadn’t decided he wanted to be mayor yet 😂
@@lootgoblinmarketplace Krod the kind of guy to sneak up on someone, rob them and then intimidate them into not seeing him.
@@zorgonvoir6896 yeah he really is
@@albertomeda9944 Krod the kind of guy to eat a brick and call it an evening snack.
@@zorgonvoir6896 krod the kind of guy to look at a multiversally strong dragon then say "krod going to intimidate the dragon" get a nat 20 and name it princess or muffin
This was a very cool story, I love how one can just intimidate wood and basically make inanimate objects, well, animate. It sure sounds like a very fun campaign!
Yeah, I bet it was a ton of fun to play.
It would be so funny for a orc to intimidate a wood so badly it crafts itself into a crowsnest
Krod is amazing. 10/10. Also, very nice interpretation of his voice - I think it fits very well!
Haha thanks, I tried to shake things up a little bit and try a voice. Krod deserves the extra effort!
@@lootgoblinmarketplace i feel like if you wouldn't give him a voice, krod would intimidate you into doing it anyway.
Reminds of the Warhammer 40k meme
"You don't see Tyberos"
Say's a 11 foot man with chainsaw claws
This was the origin of it
Been loving the shorts and so glad I found that Krod gets his full tale said.
Yeah, I had to do the full part. I’ll periodically drop the best moments for those who only really check out my shorts. Everyone has to see Krod!
@@lootgoblinmarketplace he rolls intimidation: "There are two kinds of people, those who don't see Krod, and those who know better"
I've heard the angry carpenter one so many times but that one always makes me laugh. Need more of that in campaigns.
I once had a half Orc fighter, who would speak in the third person, and tie leaves to his ears, and would proclaim "Berk an Elf"
I miss my homebrew DnD character. Almost befriended every boss, that wasn't killed, within the first time meeting them. My man just liked fighting people that were strong. His most memberable spot was breaking anti-ability cuffs right before the boss came down with a "I was gone for 10 f***ing minutes." Ended up 1v1ing the boss, losing, and getting the boss's respect. Only thing that saved him was the boss was ordered to keep us alive, to be sold as slaves. Good time.
Intimidate for Stealth: Or as I like to call it in Exalted: Malfean Stealth.
The best kind of stealth
@@lootgoblinmarketplace "IGNORE ME!!!"
Krod is basically when a lone thug with a brain sees Batman.
Me like Krod. Seem like good Orc.
Krod nice guy, just angry carpenter
*practicing a voice for character that they thought of to use.* i-i dun-dunno... K-krod seems... s-scary... -Jade the Kobold Cleric. Or by his Title. Defender of innocents. I want him to have the skill that lets you see peoples morality and intentions. Also the kobold is the lizard one not the dog one. He's in a party of murder hobos? He looks at the opponents alignment and morality and if they are actually just a normal peasant or innocent person or creature. He will heal them and defend them.
This channel has brought me joy despite only subbing a short while ago. It reminds me of my old games and the fun I used to enjoy.
I felt super nostalgic reading this one. I want to keep bringing back classics and even throw in a few of my own and the communities if I can!
I had a half-orc fighter named Otoo Dehr Slair who once rode a bulette like a bronco. He was successful in getting on the beast, managed to stay on (for I made many successful rolls), and he jumped off the creature as it was burrowing back into the ground. Fun times!
you know now we need a Krod bot, the bot will randomly comment on the video or in someone's reply button "Krod: NO SEE KRODS COMMENT!" next thing you know we will have people rolling to see if he intimidated them, and if he did everyone wonders why there is a space or pretends not to see it and the people that rolled high enough get to say something to the bot but everyone just gaslights them into thinking there is no comment there. KROD MUST LIVE ON FOREVER ON THIS CHANNEL!
Honestly, that’s the kind of Bot spam that I want to see.
I need more stories of Krod in my life.
Krod has inspired one of my charecters... heavily.... guys name is Kra. He's a half orc barbarian. The only noteworthy story so far (only 1 session ran) is when Kra went to fight a champion orc in a boxing ring... and one with 1 hit point remaining, earning himself a cool looking sword
Kra also had a neighbor long ago who stole his mailbox. That neighbor was an elf so
KROD ROLLS TO INTIMIDATE THE GM
Krod is a freaking icon, and the world is better for his antics.
The image of a giant half orc barbarian angrily staring at a pile of wooden planks, trying to scare them into becoming a crows nest is utterly hilarious
As of this video, I have heard about Krod the Angry Carpenter on 5 different RUclips channels, and watched the entire video every time. I laugh out loud every time.
It is quite possibly the best D&D story that I’ve ever heard too.
I want to play a god like figure with high intimidation, so I can actually intimidate the space-time continuum
Happy Anniversary! THX! Looking for More!
Happy anniversary Krod!
I’ve always liked the story of Noh
I’ll have to check it out. It’s been so long since I’ve read some of these. It sounds familiar!
He should have let krod roll to intimidate the space time continuum
If I ever run a campaign this guy is gunna run the thieves guild
YOU DO NOT SEE TYBEROS THE RED WAKE.
Also:
YOU DO NOT SEE KRODD THE CARPENTER
"Krod finds a wench"
sounds to me grog strongjaw got a half brother in another time and place LOL
Yeah, I wonder if he loved Krod so much it helped inspire some aspects of his character!
"Krod choose surprise" needs to be put on a shirt.
reminds me when my orc intimidated a camp fire in to lighting cause it was raining lmao
krod probably came from a time far away with a ship that flies through hell.
I absolutely love the Angry Carpenter bit. Krod literally tried to Chuck Norris the wood into becoming a crow's nest!
I remember the shorts and I still believe Krod is from Warhammer
That poor dm
But Krod’s a team player!
@@lootgoblinmarketplace Krod is big man on outside but deep down Krod want to help
I like how krod tried to intimidate time and space I wonder what have happened if he would roll
Krod is an absolute inspiration!... speaking of absolute inspiration, the College of Eloquence Bard has the feature Silver Tongue which allows you to treat Deception and Persuasion rolls of 9 or less as a 10... what if you also took prof. in Intimidation at character creation and Expertise at level 3... could be an interesting option to try Intimidation first and if that fails you switch to Deception or Persuasion.
as a GM, this is the kinda stuff that makes me love dnd
Krod is a dork. A very clever, very funny, dork.
Krod needs a son to carry on his legacy. Im thinking the namenof this character will be Dork, Krod spelt backwards
The legend of Krod, who doesn't know it?
I would love to hear the whole campaign with krod.
Sadly the internet will never be graced by his krodness
I have some insane stories like the time we mocked someone to death or that time I accidentally donated more than the value of the temple before realizing the issue was they were impressed at the son if the God being there not offended that he wasn't donating enough
Or conversely my brother who donated half his characters wealth to the temple of olimandara before realizing it was a priest throwing his voice and not divine revelations.... we did a lot of fuckery involving churches..... or that cult i started.... that's actually a story from real life but we played d&d as a sacrament in the cult
“YOU NO SEE KRODD!!!!”
I'd love it if Krod's player decided to do another campaign as Krod so that we could all get more stories.
Only Old Man Henderson can go over the epicness of Krod!
The line only two things see krod dead things and things that know better to admit it reminds me of that one batman clip where the guy sees batman and is like yeah no this aint my problem
YOU NO SEE KROD!
Krod would’ve absolutely been able to intimidate the space time continuum. Especially when you realize that he’s essentially just a somewhat self aware Ork from 40k.
I definitely like that comparison of him with a 40K Ork. They can be quite the characters and I’d love to see more of that in D&D Orcs!
@@lootgoblinmarketplace I’d love to see how a DM would try to implement an ability similar to the 40k Orks abilities. Since a major part of the ability is the fact that they don’t know they have it and just absolutely believe things into existence I could see a situation where the DM secretly implements that ability somehow (maybe by adding a small bonus to rolls under certain circumstances). This could allow for so many moments like the ‘angry carpenter’ and it would be hilarious the moment the player actually realizes the power that they’ve held the entire time.
i would love to read a comic of the life of krod
Man, I want to play an Orc wizard now who "casts" spells by intimidating people into acting like they were hit by one.
ME CAST FIREBALL.
You don't have any spell slots.
I roll to intimidate the goblins into believing I succeeded.
...Okay, not really, but that's a funny image I had.
"Thanks to his help and a poorly worded module"-- goodness, yes.
Ngl, Krod the angry carpenter and Brick the therapist are my favorite dnd charactera
"Krod intimidate space time continuum
Just amazing
This is the second green text I ever read, the second was the all barbarian campaign
Krod is my blorbo
Khan Doorman would be proud of him.
Kroc choose surprise. I don’t even play dnd yet I’m pissing myself
I would never have accepted intimidation on an inanimate object, like wtf 😋
Yeah, this seemed like a very silly group, but sometimes that’s what you need for the best stories!
Krod not understand. Why Krod not able to intimidate plank. Plank exists, therefore it thinks. If it thinks, knows better, than to not be scared Krod. Damn, that was hard to figure out how to write in Krod's speech pattern. Anyways, Krod is so stupid, logic simply avoids him.
@@syol_lareth This is basically Warhammer Ork Lore.
@@HYEOL yes, exactly.
@@HYEOL "Krod krump all da' Stunties. Not wif choppa, but wif entertaining story. It mostly about krumping stunties, but dey know better dan to put Krod in book!"
You no see krod
Oh man such a classic
I mean sneaking up with a flail is suro to make some damage
good story
Nothing tops Krod!
Good Krod
krod is a chad
all fun and games till Krod uses angry carpenter on a *wooden house*
My eyes widen
Isn't there also a story about Krod where the party encounters the "two doors, two guards, one always tells the truth and the other lies" puzzle, so he just kills one of the guards and asks the other "Is he dead?" The guard says no, and Krod says "This one lies."
Krod > all.
All hail krod
Damn I wish I had funny stories from the past playing various games.
The 2 closes things I have to being even slightly funny are:
Piloting a spaceship. For this game a made a HIGHLY skilled Pilot, she was a Star Ship Racer. As such she served as the cover story for the rest of the party. They were all my "pit crew" as part of the mission(s).
In that system you had a Lucky dice, where one of your dice is lucky, should it roll 6 you re-roll it till it lands on something other than 6. My luck die exploded 6 times, +36 points... I think the total roll was well over 100 which put it into "god like" act in that system, meaning I could do whatever the fuck I wanted at that point and the GM had to accept it.
As the GM was the Mission commander and having us do piloting checks for entering atmosphere. I told him on the side that I was going through the atmosphere upside down.
He rolled his eyes at me because all he could do was accept it due to the high roll.
In character he told everyone "if they look out their starboard side, Alana (I think that was my character's name) is going through the Atmosphere upside down"... her heat shield is point towards space and not the planet.
Which promoted a few laughs and questions about shoving so many dice into my Piloting skill in an espionage and counter intelligence based campaign.
Needless to say though I was winning all the Races making bank and had a high enough Chrisma skill to cover their butts when things didn't go to plan. Though I was screwed in combat outside of a ship.
----
and then a simple gesture in another game. As a new member of the team I was introduced to the other characters VIA my new master (another player) one of the player characters is EXTREMELY talkative.
I tried to shut him up by lifting him into the air... which had ZERO effect on him as he kept talking on. The player was amazing at pulling this kind of BS rambling.
I looked over at the GM and simply made a hand gesture. The GM and all the other players burst into laughter as they new exactly what I was wanting to do. The GM couldn't get his composure and just gave me a thumbs up promoting another roar of laughter.
The Talkative player missed this as he kept rambling on until he finally just stopped and asked what was so funny.
The GM finally caught his breath and told the player his character just realized he's upside down.
When he asked to be release... I did, dropped him right on his head.
At this point he joined the laughter and even wanted to add a bit of comedy to it by rolling a constitution save to see if he got amnesia, he thought it would be hilarious if this famous over spoken figure who's face was painted on the side of his Ship forgot who he is.
Needless to say he passed the constitution check just fine and this didn't happen.
----
Both were in separate Star Wars settings. The second character is the name I use to this day for reasons... just spelt differently due to an oversight in the spelling that has lead to issues using it. Oops! (take a wild guess what 1 letter I had to change)
If making a weapon choice because of sneak attack damage, why choose a noisy chain weapon that would do less damage (at least in reality) than a rigid weapon like swords, axes, spears, lances, polearms, etc.?
I think this video could only have been funnier if the comedic timing was better.
Could someone tell Krod to look at my bank account intill it have more zeros after the current balance like say a five more zeros?
Why is this in the rpghorrorstories play list
This mostly is horror stories but I throw some of my other D&D stories in here on occasion!
The full story
Premier, premier, premier, premier. ~ P
Also first ~ P
It's not letting me live chat tf ~ P
E
E
@@lootgoblinmarketplaceΑ
@@jodii.6 Sports
IT’S IN THE GAME
YOU PIN THIS COMMENT
Hi there Loot Goblin! This is a wonderful video! However, would appreciate if you had asked for permission to use the greyscale artwork of the orc in the video thumbnail, which was made by myself. The signature can be seen on the original art as well but has been cut out in the thumbnail. This art piece was done as a commission to a World of Warcraft player, and I was informed that they were surprised to see the art piece that they paid for, to allude to someone else's character on such a popular media. If you could please credit me in the video description, that'd be appreciated! Wish you best of luck with your future stories.
Kind regards,
Eepox
Oh hello, I would be happy to add you to the description. I’ve added the thumbnail art link now, but I can also shout out any links you’d like as well!
Hey @@lootgoblinmarketplace - thank you for the response and cheers! That works fine as is now, much appreciated, and keep up the great work with the entertaining videos!
Your artwork is fantastic! Glad you like the videos.