oscar：balls (synthesizer v original)

so...i thought about different titles for a while after i had written it, but in the end i decided to go with the obvious one. the song is called balls.
if you can work up the courage, please like n comment!
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stream : linktr.ee/lapp...
illust : アルセチカ piapro.jp/kona...
beat prod. viroft beatz
twittr : / lappyboymusic
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lyrics
lookin' at you over there
with your smile and your bright brown hair
but you don't know how much i adore you
you don't see the way i care for you
oh, but that's on me
though we're together when i go to sleep
no i can't say it to your face
i keep these feelings locked away
and it's a funny situation ain't it
when you see me completely different
to the way i feel inside
every day you never leave my mind
in my head a whole entire fantasy
where i start a life just you and me
but we never speak at all
baby because i don't have the balls
everything's so different in reality
from the place with you i wanna be
'cause i never speak at all
and it's all 'cause i don't have the balls
i see you in all my dreams
like you're laying right next to me
if you knew, you would think i'm a creep
but whenever you call, i don't answer your texts
like i don't care at all
not saying that i want your babies
but i'm not saying anything
afraid that you would hate me
anxiety is a bitch
and love ain't supposed to be like this
(damn...i gotta grow pair, no shit)
and it's a funny situation ain't it
when you see me completely different
to the way i feel inside
every day you never leave my mind
in my head a whole entire fantasy
where i start a life just you and me
but we never speak at all
baby because i don't have the balls
everything's so different in reality
from the place with you i wanna be
'cause i never speak at all
and it's all 'cause i don't have the balls
babe, know you're not mine to claim
but i wanna try to let you know the way i feel
let you know my feelings are real
maybe you won't understand it
but i need to take some chances
maybe you'd just push me away
if you knew that
in my head a whole entire fantasy
where i start a life just you and me
but we never speak at all
baby because i don't have the balls
everything's so different in reality
from the place with you i wanna be
'cause i never speak at all
and it's all 'cause i don't have the balls
maybe someday i'll find the audacity
tell you just how much you mean to me
would that ever work at all
i don't think i'll ever have the balls