For me, the issue of offers of help is complicated because they generally are of the form "you should have asked me for a ride " after I've already taken the bus, rideshare, or walked. I don't like to ask for rides for routine errands, but almost always tag along if a friend is going where I want to go. I try to save requesting a ride for emergencies.
I connect with this so much. I often feel like I end up pushing people away even though I know they mean well because I wanna do everything myself and while I do get a great sense of accomplishment when I feel like I’m becoming more independent I also find that sometimes it does result in people then not being there when I do help with family so I think finding the balance between learning how to do things on our own and also knowing when it’s better to ask or except help if it really important but hard thing to do.
Ty, I find myself saying no thank you alot! Then I get butt hurt if they dont ask me anymore.... Duh! 😂 You my dear, may just have helped me out ALOT with the "but ty for asking" response. ❤😎☺
Hey Derek, yes, I still struggle with the idea of wanting to be too independent, but I try to stop and realize that it's not all about me. Sometimes I'm so focused on proving something to myself I don't stop and consider the other person. Everybody needs to be needed at some point and whether you can do it or not, sometimes it's a gift to the other person to ask or accept help.
I’m in the UK, and known to be stubbornly independent and funnily enough I was discussing this with friends recently. I ask for help when I need it, and often decline offered help I do not need. Of course it totally depends on how help is offered. I’ve been waiting outside for a lift from family or friends (standing back from the kerb) and had “Good Samaritans” try to drag me across the road they felt I was obviously worrying about crossing to their mind. I also demonstrated how my phone told me where I was on my bus route to someone who asked how I knew where to get off, then heard them tell the bus driver as they got off that there was a blind lady that would need help to get off at the right stop 🤦♀️ Another time I was told by someone on the bus I should only go out with a helper. Then the person spoke to someone else asking if they knew where they should get off as this was a different bus to the one they usually used and they couldn’t recognise where they were. I took great enjoyment in saying as I stood to get off “this is our stop” 😂 I’ve always asked “do you need any help” (before my sight loss and since I got confident) if the answer is yes please then I ask how would you like me to help you. When someone asks me if they can help I automatically tell them how they can best help me (I use both a white cane and a walking stick so I prefer to follow the blur rather than hold an arm which throws me off balance and can cause me to fall).
Where is reasons people are there to give us a blessing to give him a blessing in this residence. Help someone you get a sense of elation good feelings last all day. One instrument show whoever someone else the chance plus it may be that one thing they do that day, they did something good for someone else. Great rest of the day.
This is such a complicated concept to me…by nature, I’m very independent. I live my life as if I don’t have any help, because what would I know how to solve a problem if there was no help available? Essentially, that is how I live, as my family lives on the other side of the country. If it was an emergency, I know they’d do everything in their power to help me. That being stated, I’ve also experienced times when I REALLY needed help, and the rare times I’ve asked, help didn’t come. So, I learned my lesson.
Knowing and accepting our limitations is important. Both sighted and a VIP can learn to overcome low vision challenges. Such as, as a legally blind person myself. I can't safely drive myself to the doctor, market or barber shop. For this I must depend on a sighted person when walking isn't a good option.
Hey Derek its ironic that you're talking about this in your video today because my spouse and I were talking about this yesterday. To put into context we recently moved two weeks ago and anytime I needed to take the trash out or walk the dog or go check the mail my spouse would offer to do it for me and I would tell him no I've got it so I asked him if it would be better say thank you for offering honey I've got it but with other things when he offers to help I say okay and let him help me
Hi Derek this happened to me last September I was offered help but took it saying it would it be on a short term basis well here I am end of May I need that help again but it looks like I have to accept it is going to be a long term situation which I am having a hard time dealing with or accepting. Any advice would be great. Thanks
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For me, the issue of offers of help is complicated because they generally are of the form "you should have asked me for a ride " after I've already taken the bus, rideshare, or walked. I don't like to ask for rides for routine errands, but almost always tag along if a friend is going where I want to go. I try to save requesting a ride for emergencies.
I connect with this so much. I often feel like I end up pushing people away even though I know they mean well because I wanna do everything myself and while I do get a great sense of accomplishment when I feel like I’m becoming more independent I also find that sometimes it does result in people then not being there when I do help with family so I think finding the balance between learning how to do things on our own and also knowing when it’s better to ask or except help if it really important but hard thing to do.
I can do this, but I appreciate you asking. Thank you. 😊
This is my standard response that keeps people coming back.
Get response!
Ty, I find myself saying no thank you alot! Then I get butt hurt if they dont ask me anymore.... Duh! 😂 You my dear, may just have helped me out ALOT with the "but ty for asking" response. ❤😎☺
Hey Derek, yes, I still struggle with the idea of wanting to be too independent, but I try to stop and realize that it's not all about me. Sometimes I'm so focused on proving something to myself I don't stop and consider the other person. Everybody needs to be needed at some point and whether you can do it or not, sometimes it's a gift to the other person to ask or accept help.
Very good thoughts! Thanks for sharing!
I’m in the UK, and known to be stubbornly independent and funnily enough I was discussing this with friends recently.
I ask for help when I need it, and often decline offered help I do not need.
Of course it totally depends on how help is offered.
I’ve been waiting outside for a lift from family or friends (standing back from the kerb) and had “Good Samaritans” try to drag me across the road they felt I was obviously worrying about crossing to their mind. I also demonstrated how my phone told me where I was on my bus route to someone who asked how I knew where to get off, then heard them tell the bus driver as they got off that there was a blind lady that would need help to get off at the right stop 🤦♀️
Another time I was told by someone on the bus I should only go out with a helper. Then the person spoke to someone else asking if they knew where they should get off as this was a different bus to the one they usually used and they couldn’t recognise where they were. I took great enjoyment in saying as I stood to get off “this is our stop” 😂
I’ve always asked “do you need any help” (before my sight loss and since I got confident) if the answer is yes please then I ask how would you like me to help you. When someone asks me if they can help I automatically tell them how they can best help me (I use both a white cane and a walking stick so I prefer to follow the blur rather than hold an arm which throws me off balance and can cause me to fall).
Where is reasons people are there to give us a blessing to give him a blessing in this residence. Help someone you get a sense of elation good feelings last all day. One instrument show whoever someone else the chance plus it may be that one thing they do that day, they did something good for someone else. Great rest of the day.
This is such a complicated concept to me…by nature, I’m very independent. I live my life as if I don’t have any help, because what would I know how to solve a problem if there was no help available? Essentially, that is how I live, as my family lives on the other side of the country. If it was an emergency, I know they’d do everything in their power to help me.
That being stated, I’ve also experienced times when I REALLY needed help, and the rare times I’ve asked, help didn’t come. So, I learned my lesson.
Yes I do
I need your videos so much today! I am binge watching all of them because I am in a tail spin today! Thank you for helping me!
Knowing and accepting our limitations is important. Both sighted and a VIP can learn to overcome low vision challenges. Such as, as a legally blind person myself. I can't safely drive myself to the doctor, market or barber shop. For this I must depend on a sighted person when walking isn't a good option.
Hey Derek its ironic that you're talking about this in your video today because my spouse and I were talking about this yesterday. To put into context we recently moved two weeks ago and anytime I needed to take the trash out or walk the dog or go check the mail my spouse would offer to do it for me and I would tell him no I've got it so I asked him if it would be better say thank you for offering honey I've got it but with other things when he offers to help I say okay and let him help me
That's great! Way to discuss and have some good communication! Thanks for sharing and best of luck adjusting to your new space!
My mom will like this video
Hi Derek this happened to me last September I was offered help but took it saying it would it be on a short term basis well here I am end of May I need that help again but it looks like I have to accept it is going to be a long term situation which I am having a hard time dealing with or accepting. Any advice would be great. Thanks
It really just depends on what it is. And it's important to know that accepting that help can take some time.
Actually, everyone should strive to be interdependent.
That's me lol
My mom will like this video