Feel free to join me and the other curious creatures on the LoveWho Discord server. If you have any issues joining then feel free to DM me on there and I'll help out: discord.com/invite/jgvxCjs ~ Nathan
INTJ - casual chit-chat (especially same mundane topics over and over), people who gossip or flatter to gather information from you or be on your good graces.
As an INTP I can totally be in a talking mood and still only give one word answers. I find it hard to answer most questions in depth without time to think about it. If the question allows for a one word response, I'll usually go for that response unless it's someone I really want to get to know.
My INTP brother can be like this too, and even I (INFP) can be sometimes. Our ESFJ mother sure hasn't had it easy in this respect. With time I've grown more aware of her need to connect through talking (about whatever, even the most frivolous little nothings) and how much one-sided effort she's put into a lot of conversations, and have tried to correct this somewhat, but it can still be hard to keep up with the amount of conversation that she would like, especially since we don't really have that much in common.
I feel utterly intimidated when put on the spot. I need to go away for some time, write a book in my head and try to make a synopsis that is palatable. Fails every time so better off not saying a thing
Yes, and some people seem to not understand this and think that I’m incompetent or downright stupid (an interviewer just called me that a couple of days ago) just because I don’t really have the ability to elaborate my answers with mundane details.
@@hannguyentran5733 I'm glad someone understands the pain. This makes school hard sometimes because I either have a really hard time understanding what a question wants from me or I get straight to the point and don't elaborate enough. It makes me feel stupid
@@oliverjensen8364 yesss to this point! My problem with school is that when teachers or mentors ask a question, my Ne just kicks in and I start to question “what do you mean by asking me that?”, end up with a thousand possible answers in my head while not uttering a word
I think another pet peeve I have as an infj is when people ignore consequences, and then get surprised when it happens. Especially when I lay out perfectly what is going to happen, and they brush it off, and then look at me for help when things go wrong. Lol this might just be me being traumatized by having two brothers who are an Estp and Infp…. it can get chaotic between the three of us
That's a great one! 👌🏻 You are definitely not alone. I've gotten to the point where I know who actually wants my advice because they trust my intuition and the people who just want me to listen and not fix their problems.
One thing for me (INTP) is like a lack of nuance when it comes to perhaps controversial topics. For instance I was reading mein kampf (history assignment) and there was a line in there that I really resonated with I think to do with his mothers death it was like “I [hitler] respected my father but I loved my mother” and I was like Yh I feel that and I told someone and they were making out like I was a full blown neo nazi 😂 and I’m like I’m not down with the other stuff, the genocide and whatnot, I just rlly felt that one line 😅very frustrating 😭
🙌🙌🙌 Lack of nuance and impreciseness is a huge problem. A lot of times, like in the example you mention, you’ll make a statement about, say, section a.2.1. of Point 1 and people will critisize you for making such a dumb/problematic statement on Point 1. It’s like, bro, just listen to what I’m saying, this is my comment on section a.2.1, not on the whole damn thing. Same goes for “a comment it’s not a statement, and a hypothetical is not a comment or a statement”. If I’m posing a hypothetical I’m not saying I believe P, I’m actually wondering whether P. People really hate accuracy, and have no qualms overlooking it just to “win” the debate. Edited for spelling, English isn’t my native language
INTP and I relate to this a lot, especially the second one. I even remember a recent situation like this when some people were discussing a heavy topic and I came up with a hypothetical question which annoyed some girl and she called me stupid for thinking such a thing. Obviously I was annoyed because she took my words and twisted them in a way that fit her narrative which was definitely not what I meant to say. Needless to say I got in trouble way too many times for "arguing too much" or saying something that ticked someone off for no reason.
I love INTPs! I feel like they are so under appreciated. I think what happened in this situation, is the girl was emotionally invested in the topic. When you bring logic to an emotional discussion, you are going to get illogical reactions. Some people want to complain, without a solution being handed to them. I find that annoying as well, if you aren’t going to fix the issue, or attempt to at least see it in a different light, why even bring it up?
@@rayneofstars22 Yeah I understand that and I guess she might have took it way too personally but I noticed that she had the tendency to correct me and say I'm wrong without allowing me to fully explain what I wanted to say because she said she had more knowledge on the topic. So idk maybe she was insecure and she wanted to be one up on me all the time because she wanted to prove herself that she's smarter. Or maybe she has some unresolved issues and she's taking them out on others. Not entirely sure.
@@justacat869 That sounds like more the case! I have to tell you, I always felt pretty intelligent EXCEPT around INTPs. They are just the smartest, hands down, and I admire them for that. She probably feels insecure that knowledge comes to you so easy. Don’t let her bug ya, sounds like she has a lot of growing to do.
@@rayneofstars22 Yes, thank you for the message and yeah I don't hang out with her anymore because I don't have the energy to argue all the time and feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I like it when people share new information with me, I just don't like it when they do it in a condescending and judgmental manner. There are always new things to learn for all of us.
Oh, yeah. It has certainly happened often enough when some controversial topic comes up that I (and some others) would be interested to discuss it further, figuring out and analysing what actually is going on in there, but then there are people who join in just to do lots of handwringing and virtuesignaling that how dare someone even bring up such a topic, let alone discuss it. (sure, sometimes there might be people having personal emotional investment, but I'd say that often not) Somewhat related, going "this is just my opinion"-mode as a conversation-stopper. Saying any kind of thing and following it with "...but this is just my opinion", forbidding any further discussion or analysis what does the person mean with such a comment...
INFP My pet peeves Lying Rushing me Over generalization (judging) Getting in my space Pushiness Unsolicited advice Being fake Yes I do have quite a lot but I'm also very patient and forgiving. Lying is the only one I'm not patient with. Many of these took a long time for me to realize because I learned to put up with for way to long. Anyways thanks Nathan. It's good to be honest about what bothers you. We are all on a journey of figuring out who we really are.
@@richsackett3423 maybe I have just taken to much for to long. Your talking to someone who for most of my life I let people walk all over me. I have let people abuse me all in the name of love. I need to have boundaries and all of this was through self discovery from someone who finds it hard and even selfish to have them. I need to be honest with myself.
@@richsackett3423 Maybe don't be a pain for no good reason, and don't pathologize normal things. There's nothing unusual or unreasonable about her list of peeves. People who do a lot of self-reflecting and know themselves well tend to have extensive knowledge of what they like and don't like. This is just normal for INFPs, and it's not something that's limited to peeves or negative things.
@@tracyzimmerman7912 I'm an INFP too. I totally understand and totally agree on the lying one. I don't lie, and when someone lies to me, it feels so horrible like a piece of my heart has been ripped out! It's good to set boundaries. You have to care for yourself if you want to care for others too. Nothing wrong with that.
As an INTP, hypocrisy has indeed always bothered me to no end, especially since it often comes with logical fallacies. Loud pretentious people also really bother me.
Very accurate for intjs. I would add: -Wasting our time. Don’t ramble when making a point. Don’t be late to an appointment. Currently going through this with uni lecturers taking 2 hours to say what could be said in 5 minutes, it drives me absolutely up the wall. -Faux stupidity or faux ugliness. You know how smart or pretty you are, stop pretending to be weak to get attention. It’s gross. -Lack of explicit communication. No 2 seconds of eye contact is not enough to convey a full soliloquy of information. Say what you mean. Looking at you dating game.
My husband would read me letters from people when we were newlyweds and not say who it was from until the end. I found it so disorienting I begged him to please tell me upfront who had written it. Anytime I’m being given information I need to know how to mentally file it in a useful position. If someone rambles, this proves impossible, making the effort to listen hugely frustrating.
I'm an INFJ and my bf is an ISTJ (probably) and I'm a HUGE rambler and he hates it. I'm not doing it on purpose, it's how my brain works. When I think about something, it's really hard to put it into words for me. So when I am forced to put it into words, I end up describing all kinds of things about it, coming to new conclusions as I go, repeating myself 100x and asking "you know what I mean?" after every sentence because I'm scared that what I'm saying doesn't make any sense. I kinda suck at communication in that regard, sometimes it takes me multiple takes until I FINALLY express myself the right way. I speak more with my body language and my face rather than words. It's really difficult to just say what's on my mind for me. It's almost like idk how to do that.
As an ENTP, one thing that really annoys me is when people say I’m thinking too deeply about something that doesn’t matter. Like finding plot holes and logical inconsistencies in movies. Its just how I engage with media and ideas
I’m an ENTP and people give me the same crap. I point out logical issues with the movie when they ask why I didn’t like a movie and they respond as if logical consistencies aren’t a good enough reason to dislike a movie
@@PippaPasses Not really. Standing up against assholes should never be considered bad manners in my opinion. At least, standing up against them should never make *us* feel like we're bad mannered - we're not the problem, the asshole who can't behave like a decent human being is the problem.
me, intp : yeah that person did *horrible thing* because *complex social dynamic* my dad, angrily : don't tell me you take their defense, it's highly immoral"
As an intj I hate hypocrisy and arrogance. However the very thing that loses all respect is when someone lies to themselves and others. Whenever someone does this I no longer acknowledge that they exist.
INFJ here: rudeness/disrespect- 💯. Interruption while thinking or working-absolutely. I'd add being forced to rapidly make an important decision, esp when a speedy response is unnecessary. And lastly, a refusal to think beyond surface or one step beyond immediacy
In my experience as an INFJ, I've always been the one to accidentally forget or neglect commonly accepted social mannerisms... Just a day or two ago, my ESFJ friend visited our home to give me something, and I totally forgot to invite him inside and just talked with him at the gate. I got called out on my bad manners and "zero-hospitality" later that day, by him, my ESFP mother and my two ISTJ and ESTP (younger) sisters...🤧 In my defense, I already knew his plans for the day and knew he wouldn't have time to come inside, so I just didn't want to waste my breath on something useless. Their argument against that was that I should've still done so, despite knowing, since that's what's proper 😑
I struggle with adopting formal "manners" inside someone else's home as an INFJ, actually. Particularly physical, practical ones. As I grew up in an informal household without regular family meal times, practices, etc, when I visit someone who is formal in this respect, it's quite draining for me. Although I can mirror it, I am aware, in a very active Fe guilt kind of way, how different and "odd" I am, for not being used to this sort of thing. I've rather dreaded holiday dinners for the same reason. Eating is not really a social thing for me; I eat while I work, preferably.
The INFP one was perfect! Crazy how I don't even realize some of these things bother me until I hear it on one of these videos and then I remember all the times I got upset exactly because of that reason 😂
A big one for me (INTP) is people trying repeatedly to engage me in conversation when I am very clearly otherwise occupied. It feels rude to say, "I don't want to have a conversation right now," but sometimes, I really don't want to have a conversation. For instance, if I'm reading, but don't mind taking a break to talk, I'll close the book, and put it to the side. If the book is still open, and my eyes keep straying to the page, it's not a good time to talk. Sometimes there may not be as many visual cues, but if I'm very focused on what I'm doing (I hyperfocus.) I will not easily be able to pull my attention away from that for conversation. If I'm trying to be polite, and follow along with a conversation I'm not in a state to be having, I'll end up continually having to ask the person to repeat themselves, because I can't focus on what they're saying. I'm not sure whether this is an INTP thing or an ND thing.
I can relate to both the ISTP and ESTP, the worst is the combo which is prevalent a lot of places: people who are emotional and complaining about something - usually something with little to no actual implications, yet doing nothing, and of course becoming even more emotional when you do something to fix said problem. An example going I voiced multiple complaints to our bosses whom I felt did nothing to resolve the issues, turned out I was apparently the only one actually mentioning stuff to them, the rest just complained and instead just went on office drama sprees, yet said "everything is fine" when asked by the management. Such situations make me hate work and wanna quit.
You described one of my former positions. Too much overtime being paid out, but no new people or equipment was brought on. Well, what do the lower downs know about their workplace anyway? :/
You are doing the absolutely correct thing providing feedback. Unfortunately most people think that they can't voice their complaints out of fear they'll be seen as the problem employee and be let go. In this state of helplessness venting one's frustrations is the only thing keeping them from exploding. It would be much more sad if it wasn't so annoying.
@@waterlily7343Like Mao's hundred flowers campaign, that did happen to my sister. A boss told my sister went to go to her rather than the office manager with concerns. Well, this boss is close to retirement age and, based on what I see in skits and such, I'd guess she's ENTJ or ENTP, and not a well-directed one. Tyrant tendencies. My sister did as she was asked and tried hard to be professional about it. This happened shortly before she and her husband left on vacation. Well, with a week or so to go, late on a Sunday night, her boss texted her, writing that she just sent an email that my sister needed to read. She fired my sister over email. My sister was not even halfway through her vacation. Boss woman said that it was convenient for her to do it over email, when everything I've read about firing people says that it needs to be done face-to-face. The boss said that there was an extensive record of my sister's failings, but I think that, if it exists, it was only recently typed up. This boss, a few months later, fired someone who had been there four years because her dyslexia was causing her to mess up too much stuff. Sure. She fought both of them on unemployment benefits. The drama drove a few months later out a favored employee, who reconnected with my sister and helped her get a job where she was working with a slower pace and higher pay.
@@FlamingCockatiel Being fired in the middle of your vacation must be the worst. But I guess it's because of these authoritarian types that the fear exists in the first place.
AHHH the ESTP ones are SO spot on. The amount of arguments I’ve had with friends and family members because either they take this passive aggressive, snarky tone when making a complaint about something - after all, like you said in another video, the tone by which someone says something is inextricably linked to the contents of what they’re saying, OR they refuse to take my advice after complaining and then two days later they’re complaining about the EXACT SAME THING
Apart from the other two pet peeves, one of mine (INTJ) is when people talk to you and then take their phone out and write to some other friends just to ignore you, when they started the conversation....especially if they say they're listening but then don't react to what you've said. Or when you walk somewhere with them and then suddenly their 10m behind you, because their on their phone again. Like pleease you're here now, you have time for you're phone later
INTJ here. First off, these are great, and you nailed it with both the neediness and the public displays of emotion factors. I find it very difficult not to see those displays as clumsy manipulation tactics used by those who want to get me to agree to part of an agenda. Broad example: "there's no way this person will turn my marriage proposal down if I make a big show of it in public". A huge one for me is my having to repeat myself in conversation. I will assume that you either are too much of an idiot to grasp what I'm talking about, or that you didn't respect me enough to listen the first time. Another thing that drives me nuts is when people (most notably, my ISTJ mother) call me and then ask to put ME on hold because of another call. What? NO. I'm looking forward to what you release next!
an an INFP i also get incredibly frustrated when people speak over me or interrupt me since i already spend most of my time listening so if someone makes it difficult for me to speak that's incredibly annoying since i won't want to interrupt them
As an INTP, I 100% agree. I cannot tell you how many times these sheeple have disappointed me, with their herd-like tendencies. Or whenever they assume I liked a competing person, place, or thing's products, even though I had only been talking about the factual shortcomings (not even mentioning a "better option.").
This is so great; I can imagine the types in my life dealing with exactly these scenarios. (case in point: my ESFJ mom and my ISTP brother's one-word responses - hilarious) INFP pet peeves, for Nathan's research: - ordering / telling me what to do (unless I've asked for help / am completely lost and need help) - *repeatedly* telling me what to do / saying the same things over (I only want to hear it once) - lack of open-mindedness, having ideas completely shut down - over-generalizations and assumptions (guilty of this as well sometimes, but it always helps to acknowledge exceptions, to give the benefit of the doubt... I think generalizations through mbti can be quite useful in some cases, as long as they're not taken to the extreme) - inattentiveness / distractedness when having a direct 1:1 conversation - last-minute plans and surprises, vagueness of what to expect (just makes me anxious) - being put on the spot (not good at reacting) - being rushed - persistent clinginess (I need a lot of space) - being belittled / forgotten / ignored 🥲 (generally don't need a lot of attention) This video really nailed it! Looks like I have a lot of "pet peeves", but I'm pretty chill I swear 😅
Oof I can relate to pretty much everything in your list of pet peeves. Guess I also have a lot 😅 Being told what to do is at the top of my list as well. I absolutely can’t stand it, even when the other person is trying to be helpful (actually perhaps especially then because they expect me to be grateful rather than pissed). And despite my type, I even relate to not liking last minute plans. In my case I don’t need or want a specific itinerary and I like being spontaneous, but on my own terms. It’s the unexpectedly having to hang out with people part that gets to me - (introverted) ENTP
ENTP here, interestingly enough a pet peeve I have with a friend of mine is her total lack of planning even though everything is always her idea. “What time are we meeting up?” “Where are we going?” “What should I bring?” “What should I expect?” “Are we still on?” “Did we ever assign who’s bringing what for the week-long trip that starts tomorrow to the cabin where nothing is provided for us?” (Answer, I brought 95% of the shit we needed even though there were 4 of us). These are all questions I have to constantly ask because she never tells me shit. No one communicates. Are we even still going bc NO ONE is talking about plans for it? It’s not going to magically happen. Another pet peeve: lack of communication. People get butt-hurt over the smallest things and then (for example) decide not to tell someone at work something important which will obviously snowball because they’re miffed. Damn, grow up and ask why they didn’t do what you wanted then. ASK THEM. But no. And because I can’t stand hearing both sides of an easily resolvable situation, I try explaining things to both sides to them what happens. And bam. It’s as solved as a third party can get it to be. It’s these simple things… but reeaaallly dumb things. Maybe it’s because I was raised by an ISTJ mom and an ESFJ dad. That my oldest brother is an INTJ and my older sister is an ISFJ. But there’s a basic level of organization in doing things that feels really… common sense, but baffles me when people treat them like foreign concepts. Not your preferred way of handling it? You do you. But you never even considered handling it… uh yikes. And I grew up never having to plan anything out or resolving any matters. So me taking the initiative feels really weird, but also I can’t stand leaving the situation be because I’m not an idiot.
DUDE I CAN RELATE, also the thing about initiative, it feels like I'm selling myself short by asking the important stuff and ppl just Don't care, but i have to do that shit ANYWAY because ppl are kinda useless
i always end up having to constantly bother everyone with any plan that has more people than me my best friend and her sister, literally calling everyone everyday to confirm things bc yes i love spontaneity but goodness if there's a pending decision i want it finalised asap so i can move on to smth else -enfp
@@hotdogeater8647 @taekookies YES. THANK YOU. Speaking of which, I'm about to text said friend when and where we're meeting up tomorrow for something we thought of a month ago. We're going hiking and for some reason she decided on the 3 hour location away :) haha, shoot me!
Oh, well being an INTP I am really glad somebody understood the pain being judged for examples rather than the thought behind it ....it almost feels like somebody just read my mind fully knowing me. Thankyou for pointing out the two most frustrating things I've struggled with in my life till date and despise them both equally. Especially, people judging people and situations superficially without even trying to understand the reasons and conditions is the worst characteristic of human for me. And Hypocrisy is literally the end of relationship for me.
The longer I'm alive, the more I realize that most people misunderstand others, misconstrue what they say, and don't give others the benefit of the doubt. Whether it is happening to me, or I witness it happening to others, it is frustrating to no end. -intp
I'm an INTJ-subtype{C}reative male, but many of my pet peeves belong to other types. Now that said, the one that especially rings true for me is a disdain against neediness.
Ahhhh as an ENFP I am triggered 😤 The amount of times my friends say they can’t hang out, I WILL find a way to make it work! Or at least give me a good reason why you can’t
Lol not sure if its by design or by chance. But as an ESTP i always appreciate when you put our information early in the video. Lol this attention span thanks you lool.
Ooooh. Love this, Nathan. I agree with INFP, I need all the above I need a huge space to just be alone with my thoughts. Also the sweeping statements irk me a lot as well! I had to google what enroached meant :))
ESTP here, and I can confidently agree that those who complain with no intent to act piss me off on the daily. It's almost as if I believe those who complain have no right to to begin with, but I know this isn't necessarily true. I've been having to learn that some emotions attached to complaining are okay to sit in, and am thankful for my ability to try and change something in my life that will either improve it or help me to learn something new about myself. It helps me to not sink further into depressive or deeply melancholic states that could be allevaited by, let's say, exercise, calling a friend, talking a walk, repeating truths to myself, etc.
2 года назад+1
I’m also an ESTP and I really enjoyed your comment. It’s important to understand the emotions attached to it! For me, everything started to be more clear when I learned the difference between venting and complaining. Sometimes people just want to take something out of their chest to feel better about it; which makes sense. It’s just venting and it doesn’t annoy me that much anymore. But when this is something repetitive, just for the sake of it, when I already said everything I could… that makes me absurdly angry. Like wtf you’re complaining over and over again 😂 I got into some bad fights because of that
You what really grinds my gears as an ISTP is when people constantly use analogies to explain something, as if just explaining it straight out would be too difficult. Frustrating to have to wait for someone to spell out a completely different scenario just to eventually come back to the topic at hand.
With the analogy thing, I actually get mentally lost, as it has been removed from the issue/topic being discussed. I don't need a roundabout way of explanation, as I WILL understand a straight forward explanation.
As an INFP same. My dad usually does this where I ask him a question but then he explains it using analogies and it gets frustrating and confusing at some point and then we end up in a 20 min conversation which never needed to happen.
INTJ was so spot on it got me scared for a moment because I talked to someone about “neediness” just today and of course that was my exact mindset :’) but the ISTP was awfully relatable too. overreacting partially overlaps with “showing too intense emotions” so that makes sense but oh GOD when people keep beating around the bush . . . wasting my precious time and energy
If I had to choose two pet peeves personally as an ISFP, I’d say being interrupted and being censored. I don’t always feel the need to add to the conversation, but when I do, if I’m talked over or told I am not allowed to say something, it gets under my skin like nothing else.
Oddly the ESTP pet peeve of complaining about something without doing anything about it applies to me as an INFJ. It does frustrate me when people complain about a problem in their life while actively contributing to it in the long run!
I am INFJ, and sure i can get annoyed when people complain but doesnt try to fix. I think INFJ's are good at identifying how to fix it. But i also believe we are good at understanding why they havent done it, because we wouldnt have done it either. I think INFJ often knows how to solve our own problems too, but get stuck in the thought or planning stage.
Intp here. My dumb pet peeves are people not using a ruler, clicking knuckles/neck/cracking back, people not understanding me, sand (idk it's the texture), omg people not cooperating and playing their part in team work, people suing more than three dots for ellipses + the video's one I relate to a lot. I do debating and people always think I believe in what I'm saying... Like I'm not agreeing I'm stating fact stop getting offended.
So many accurate ones here! Including the INFP ones - though as usual, I relate to several from the other types as well, including the ISFJ ones. People being bad at their jobs is actually a pretty big pet peeve of mine. There's a lot to unpack regarding why, from the various negative consequences this can have, to the unfairness of someone unsuited for a job getting that job instead of someone more deserving (especially in a competitive field - and this happens a LOT), to just plain liking competence and quality and people putting good things out into the world instead of crappy things. I don't necessarily expect other INFPs to relate to this one, but yeah.
Oh, this time ISTJ appeared to be closer. Though I pretend to be an INTJ, their pet peeves are somehow... close, but not exclusive; I'm an INTJ, but I know the experience of poverty and need, so it's not like I clearly don't like "needy" behaviour - I'm ready to help my friends, if I'm able; but rather I don't like when the person in need don't even try to solve the situation by oneself or thinks of me as a permanent source of solving one's problem. So I can lend money once, but on the second time I'll say: "Mate, I'm not a bank." Same with public emotionality - c'mon, INTJ don't care about people, so they don't care about their emotions as well; I can agree with that feature, if it means that those public emotion bursts begin to somehow involve or touch an INTJ directly - then yes, I will quickly flee out of the situation: "F*** away, it has nothing to do with me". Comparing to that, ISTJ's features are more clear and unambiguously true - I'm not good at time-management, but if the time was arranged, then die, but come (though I'm calm with +/- 15 min delay/early coming). Same with seriousness - as an INTJ, I definitely like to laugh at silly people's beliefs and naïveness, but there are things that demand mental involvement, intense inner processing, focused approach. When I don't meet it from the counterpart, I feel discouraged. At the same time I understood, why the best of my partners according to some apps are ENFJ and ENFP))
that being encroached upon, as an infp, really hits home. I would extend that to any interruption of my thought process, such as when I'm "in the zone" at work. Don't pull me from my business to show me your vacation pics or ask how to log on to HR. save it for when I'm spinning in my chair or getting my third coffee.
INTJ here. Needeness doesn't bother me as long it's upon a reason Public displays of emotions again doesn't bother up to a limit: yes i will be awkward and a bit embarrassed and say get a room(if pda) or please don't cry but that's more to do with my need to help the person and usually being unable... I HATE and i underline it: loud noises that includes environmental noises such as motorbikes, cars, honks, alarms etc but also loud music and loud speech -even if i am guilty of doing that as well- Another thing i hate is when people are not being truthful and when being upset says -nothing is wrong- while there is clearly a problem. I am not a fucking wizard/ psychic to guess what's on your mind and why are you mad at me or in general.
INTP here, late to the party of course. 'Judging Questions or Hypotheticals' was on the nose. As an iNTP if you hear me talk to you, you have earned some kind immediate, short-term interest and trust. I've done the ol' INTP hyper-analysing and come up with an interesting dilemma, or a potential fork in the road. Creating a hypothetical helps me a) contribute to the conversation and be involved, b) letting you into my mind and thought process. We *want* to hear what you have to say; if we only wanted to prove a point we would use an analogy instead. To offhanded say 'Well that would never happen' is dismissive and kills the engagement. We have now been rejected, our #1 fear. If done in a group setting it is almost a guarantee we will never speak to you again and if we must, it will be in a 1 word answer with no explanation.
Infj, dunno if it’s a pet peeve because it can get much more serious-but people trying to manipulate/pressure in attempts to control the behavior of others during conversation stress me out a lot. I pay close attention when people talk, both in the content of what they say and how they say it. I REALLY notice. Often the outcome the person wants is something that would have been easily negotiated with a little honesty. If cooperation wasn’t given freely, at least some attempt to help out would be likely just from a place of goodwill. The control attempts and dishonest presentation of them make my skin crawl and alienate me hard from whoever’s trying it. It lets me know the person can’t be engaged in good faith and like… I literally notice all the patterns that betray what they’re doing. It reads very selfish.
2 pet peeve of mine is people over-exaggerate the simplest of things. Yet simultaneously over-simplify nuanced topics and discussions And another one are the mountains of logical fallacies people make when arguing or discussing -INTP
In contrast, as an isfp, Fi may also be geared towards tolerance of different styles in fashion and art. I may not prefer to wear cargo pants but the techwear dudes sure do and thats important to their individuality as much as mine. A pet peeve of mine would be seeing people who create identities that don't speak for who they really are. Or the kinds of people who mindlessly go with the flow and actively abandon their individuality.
Like wearing all your clothes from a specific brand just for the sake of the brand itself, essentially turning your expression of fashion into “hey, I’m a walking advertisement”
INTJ who finds the *reasons* to be misanthropic to be annoying because those reasons *exist* at all... it helps to see extroverted interactions as *social chess*
I’m an INFP but I can definitely relate to the INTJ annoyance with needinesses in a relationship. Also I think my mom is either an ISFJ or ESFJ…I can see how some of the things I’ve done might have annoyed her 😂
ISFP here. Pet Peeve of mine is when people ask me a personal question and then lack the patience to wait for me to answer. A lot of the times it takes me a moment to search through my mind on how to answer. Most people end up saying/asking something else before I have answered and then I am left annoyed.
"Interruptions", more like "unforeseen interruptions"! As an INFJ I fully expect people, i.e. my family and friends, to interrupt now and then when I'm working or studying and I don't mind that much, I may even welcome it. But if it's an *unforeseen* interruption - like if there's a power outage when I'm in the middle of an important task on my computer that I forgot to charge, or if a relative comes over who expects you to give them hours of attention on a work day - that is 100% a pet peeve.
As a partner of an ENTJ I can say they definitely don't like wishy-washiness but my partner is pretty emotionally intelligent, he is always there for me when I'm down and I do the same for him. I don't think he's ever downplayed my feelings.
ISFP: -Tackiness is not so much as a personal pet peeve as it is something I judge in others and myself. I don't take this personally when I see it in others. -I rather enjoy conversations that are dynamic, including when people play devil's advocate; but only if they make it clear from their body language or given the context of the discussion. However, if they do that out of spite, then hell ya. I hate that. Some personal peeves: 1) When people heavily stereotype others. I get it that stereotypes are necessary as a framework for learning about topics and things, but I do not like it when people ONLY see the stereotype and not see a person's nuances, nor give them a chance to show how they're different. 2) When people verbally talk about an issue to the general group, but you know they're only digging at you. I hate this so much. If there's a concern, address it directly. There is no need to indirectly sound it off in a passive-aggressive way, and awkwardly involving unwilling participants to listen to the issue. 3) Posturing and value signalling. This annoys me like nothing else. It's so fake and hypocritical--jumping on a bandwagon just because everyone else is doing it. 4) When people do a half-assed job at work, or are sloppy (i.e., working without integrity) 5) Micromanaging
Heavy agree. Tackiness doesn’t bother me in the same way I’ve come to accept people with a lower Se function just aren’t as situationally aware and it’s not their fault. Devils advocate can be useful for making decisions but a lot of the time it runs on and on into Ne concepts that will never happen and just wastes my time. I’d say my biggest pet peeve is when people complain to me about something that is easily solvable or isn’t really an issue. Basically forcing negativity on me over the most inconsequential things. But I agree with the rest of your list, especially the last 2.
@@azuritecola7894 Ah yes, complaining for the sake of complaining, when they could easily do something about it. I agree. And I agree with your view on tackiness. It's also their preference and choice. They do them, and they do not hurt anyone in the process. Nothing wrong with it. Thanks for the feedback :)
As an ISFP, I totally agree with Nathan! Tackiness hits the nail on the head for me. I want the world and everything in it to be beautiful. Bad manners is another biggie.
ENTP - A profusion of unimportant details which blot out the sun. You can't see the forest for the trees for all the damned bugs and dust in the air. Get to your point, fer chrissake. "Conventional wisdom" is a euphemism for "collective stupidity".
INFJ was so accurate. Personally, when it comes to things that bother me, I can mention one specific that trigger me out: I feel frustrated when people change my plans at the last minute. Not like ESFJs. For example, I like punctuality (me to be punctual) and I program schedules for get the things done at the right time, so i can't let down my tasks or compromises. I hate when ppl interrupt a thing I planed to just spontaneously please me to do something they need. But I hate worst that I can't say no. Other things that bother me are stupidity, lack of arguments, no explain things, arbitrariness, doesn't know how to communicate things, rudeness, violence and noise. 😅 Istg I'm not a picky person, I can understand people so easily. These behaviors really bothers me when occurs so often as they become habits of my environment.
enfp~ being cut short while im elaborating on smth, i do see how it can be frustrating for others to not be able to tell where what i say is going until the end, (if i'm genuinely rambling for ages though i'd want you to tell me to get to the point so that i'm not annoying you without realising), but if i begin a sentence in a seemingly unrelated way i very rarely do it for the sake of unnecessary talking, i always have a reason/context and a logic that will make complete sense if you just give me 5 seconds 😭, but if it's assumed that i'm just saying nonsense it can feel quite patronising, and if you cut me off too quickly without an actual reason like having to go or smth it can feel like policing my natural way of speaking and i hate that
OMG! As an INTP, those two pet peeves are perfectly accurate! I usually have people problems in real life because of the first one, and online (youtube comments sections, most often) because of the second one. So. Spot. On!
You nailed ISTP. We could have all the time in the world and we'd still think people were wasting it. And any extreme displays of emotion, no matter what form they take, are annoying. Of course I'm annoyed by everyone most of the time, but maybe that's just me.
Yes, some memories: I have an isfj friend who was frustrated recently about the unfairness of the education system. And an esfj who had to cancel a meet up with me, so she sent chocolates with her apologies 😊 And an istj neighbour that leaves to pick their kids up ten minutes before I get out. My estj friend who gets frustrated with lack of clarity from people.
Entp - Yep. Didn’t realise the second one until you pointed it out, but absolutely over planning nights out irritates me a bit. I’d add an honourable mention to people who say one thing and do another, and those who will just avoid an issue so that they don’t have to deal with conflict.
Amen to pretentiousness for ESFP. I'd also like to add being around people who do not give signals so you cannot understand them. People are our mediums and we need to know them understand the would. People who don't give us signals leave us feeling lost. Just had dinner with a group of intuitive thinkers and was totally ungrounded. Had to resort to smile and nod tatics. Give me signals! Give me something to understand you so that I then have a basis/compass to go by. I'm told everyone at dinner really likes me....who knew...and that not knowing is soooo annoying!!!! Married to ENTP...very true about over planning.
Many of these were pet peeves, but when you got to INTJ, I realized… yeah. When I encounter “neediness” I become unapologetically callous and annoyed beyond reason, lol.
I felt called out, as I got a proof of that literally a few days ago. I'd been speaking to that person for couple of days (INFP) when suddenly I heard: 'and you're judging me all the time'. I replied with: 'I can't change the way you're feeling about it, but you're in charge of your life. I'm just telling you my opinion'. 'Yeah, but I don't need people like that in my life' Me: 'of course, you don't need anybody. I don't need your presence either. I thought you were appreciating my insights. If not - well, you've got your life, I've got mine'. We haven't spoken to each other since. I didn't say those words with an intention of hurting anyone. For me it's obvious that we all should rely on ourselves first and not look for justification of our actions from others.
@@maggis0 Think you might be confusing neediness with not wanting to be judged. These are different things. Clearly the person didn't need you and made that clear. If they kept clinging to you or demanding things from you, that would be needy...
@@Multitudes_ : they were seeking validation and justification of their needs. That was being needy to me. Thanks for pointing out lack of clarity in my argument. I suppose if you had seen the interaction, you would have agreed.
The INFJ one is definitely accurate. I despise interruptions. It's really annoying when I have something planned for the day that I want to do, or when I'm currently doing something, and I have to stop. Usually when it happens, then I can't get back into it.
Intj here. Both are true. It's even worse when I'm the one displaying those behaviors. Any other time I can get away from the person acting that way. But I can't get away from myself, so I have to deal with the self-annoyance that comes with it.
INTJ here, irritated by public displays of emotion and neediness, of course, but also sulking, failing to respect the dignity of others (especially me), and grandstanding when unwarranted.
Emotionality isn't a pet peeve for us INTJs. It's far worse than that! An unpredictable force that can't be controlled and the curse bearer himself is often quite willing to act against his/her best interest just to inconvenience you a little... No, for me, my pet peeve has more to do with inefficiency and irrationality. Nonsensical regulations that make work needlessly tedious, people insisting on special treatment, colleagues taking my stuff without asking me and then leaving it wherever they had used it, my boss changing his requirements, not during the planning phase but 5min before completion... Or especially during dating life, having someone who expects you to read minds and gets offended when you have no F-ing clue what she wants...
The intj part was so true, I HATE NEEDINESS AND CLINGYNESS so annoying, you will quickly become a burden- and we abhor burdens. And just emotions displayed over the top is so werid and EXTRA and annoying to us.
I think the ENTJ one about "wishy-washiness" only applies to rational (maybe businesslike) or opinionated (like a political/religious beliefs) decisions. However, emotional decisions or decisions between more or less similiar things are a different thing, often not so easy to make by an entj. They might still dislike seeing others do that, but they are often very indecisive about that kind of decisions themselves.
Well done Nathan! Another excellent video explaining things smoothly and clearly. I'm ESFJ and yes I hate one word answers, I never let it show but on the inside I do. However I don't mind when people change the plans at the last minute, I can (usually) adapt to what they are feeling at the moment, but the "lack of attention" from ENFJs also get me.
The two points on INTP were so on-point. Casual hypocrisy is something I tackle for myself very often, especially with societal issues and judgement that I recieved from others when talking, or apparently having the gall to even mention, certain topics were just a relationship breaking thing for me.
It is massively ironic that you paired pretentiousness with ESFPs, as they are possibly the type most guilty of doing this. The INTP ones were pretty good. Maybe a little more significant than pet peeves, but accurate. The second one especially is something I've encountered a lot but never been able to put a finger on quite like that.
Adding one for ISTJ: stasis Its a stereotype for ISTJs wanting everything to stay the same, but if its time to talk about what to do, they absolutely hate empty talk that doesnt lead to action, even if that means change. Ive learned that you can talk about the wildest things to them, but they will use Si to connect that to reality and lay out the stepping stones for that to actually happen, like they have a map linking the conceptual world to the real world, but you will piss of an ISTJ quickly if all your talk leads to nothing.
INFP here. The one thing I absolutely CANNOT stand with a ferocious passion are liars, especially compulsive liars where the lies are downright unrealistic.
Wow! Get out of my head, Nathan! I had the thought “well, *yea!* especially in their own *home.”* annnnd as soon as I was done having that thought you said “especially if they are in that person’s home.” 😅
As an ISTP, yes I really don't like people who overreact. Also: - people who always choose the easy way when it is evident that it's not going to give best result. - pushing me to do something or telling me what to do.
YES! Whenever someone tries to say no immediately and dismiss anyone's idea like it's stupid, I ask how they know. What research have they done? Surely an intelligent person as yourself would never draw a conclusion without establishing a base of research and reason! Okay, so I don't say that last part, but that's the implication hahaha! I don't do it, either! I'll just say, "Wow! I can't wrap my brain around that one at all! Would you mind sending me the article you read that in, or explain it to me more so I can understand?" :) Don't know why people get off on feeling superior to others... it's so cruel
INFJ >_> people assuming I have bad motivations/intentions with my interaction toward them. This activates the instant doorslam.. I was going to be a good friend, then they repeatedly assumed ill intention, now i'm, no friend or never friend. /:)
One of my biggest pet peeves is pettiness/childishness, especially when i’m trying to have a non-heated, normal conversation with a person. Like we could be talking and our values/opinions don’t meet or I point out on something they said that doesn’t make sense but because i’m disagreeing with them, they start to be passive-aggressive and start to be childish. (mocking things that I say in a childish manner etc.) Then they start being petty with me for, idk the rest of the year just because I disagreed with them and said pineapple shouldn’t be on pizza. I see it as a funny topic to talk about but some people get irritated about that. Which leads to the other pet peeves. - taking things that I say seriously and ridiculing me for it. (i’m not going to actually fly off the building Janet). - constantly ignoring me for some odd reason. - CONSTANTLY critising someone for their flaws instead of addressing it (nicely) and helping them to improve. - clinginess - Hypocrites or people who get upset/disagree when I say something, but when another person says the exact same thing they agree. Like huh?? - non-open-minded people (and then continue to spread false information about that topic they know so little about). - downgrading or seeing someone as lower because they’re introverted and quiet. - lies for no reason - immature peoples. - diagnosing people because of something they did once. - Somebody calling someone’s point illogical even though their own point was based off of what Andrew said and Andrew got his information from a non-factual source. - People who don’t wash their hands 👀 or bum crack cause why? But they use sanitiser instead. This list could go on but Imma save everyone from my rant.^v^
Since I'm still unsure of whether I'm an intp or an istp, I could say that I find it really bothersome when people don't state their points clearly. It also baffles me when they act in a way that is contrary to their beliefs, like???
Despite the fact that I have tested the same for almost the entirety of the last 25 years, I still tend to have moments of doubt with INTP. Which, apparently, is also a pretty common INTP thing. Anyway, what I did is I looked for descriptions of the types that I was conflicted about. And if it seemed that I was trying to make something fit then I knew it was wrong. If it fits easily, that's where you are. The biggest thing to keep in mind is this is all a spectrum. Everyone has all of the types in them somewhere, and no one is 100% anything. It's a matter of what your preferences are, what your go-to is when being asked a question or doing a task or learning something new or whatever.
People who throw pity parties to me results in me being cruel and they just wail why am i this bad .....seriously throw croc tears Im not fallig for your tears! Get it done and cant stand how they just cry to get some help or pity . If youll do it then do it...-entj
Intj: physically demanding activities. There’s nothing more unappealing to an intj than doing dumb muscle things, heavy lifting furniture and construction works. However, when those things are for their dream house or dream workplace, they(i) put up with them and will do them with sone kind of a passion and mostly as fast as possible.
@@EresirThe1st i don’t know, I’ve never enjoyed it. Exercise is different; it’s kinda fun, because you know the result will be worth it and it kinda energises you during the day, if you do it in the morning. I’m talking about the day to day activities in which the pure strength dictates the result. Maintenance works for example. Some people don’t avoid it and even get a kick out of it as if they’re excited to do them.
INFJ and those are not the pet peeves I would have come up with myself, but they are very correct. If someone that I am with and by extension feel "responsible for" is rude to anyone, I want to crawl into a hole. I am not confrontational enough to call the person out on being rude, but also feel so bad for the person they're being rude to. It's a very good way to get me to never hang out with you again. And I do hate interruptions. And the trickier thing still is that the person has no idea that they are "interrupting" anything as to them, the silence invites conversation. My husband is a big "Factoid" giver and I had to explain to him that if we're on a hike or in a quiet environment, I am relishing that quiet and deep in thought and his factoids are really disruptive to it. I try to do most of that stuff solo as a result and hang out with people when there's a mutual expectation for conversation. The answer I would have given is small talk/vapid discussion in a group setting. I hate sitting there in a group listening to the one person who really likes to hear themselves talk speak at length to a) brag about themselves in such a way that alienates the group or is unrelatable or b) just goes on and on about something very trivial and being captive to that conversation. I will smile and nod, but on the inside, I'm imagining myself gouging out my own eyeballs in order to feel again.
The ISFJ ones are definitely pretty spot on. I care a lot about doing things the right way and acting properly, and I have a strong desire for fairness.
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Feel free to join me and the other curious creatures on the LoveWho Discord server. If you have any issues joining then feel free to DM me on there and I'll help out: discord.com/invite/jgvxCjs ~ Nathan
@@ATinyWarrior Did you care enough to call him out? 🙄
Have tried to join and contact you but no joy. Wonder if many are experiencing this. Just wanted to give some feedback.
@@ATinyWarrior That's the joke. I called you out for calling someone out. It's ironic
I was literally banned from the Discord.
I wasn’t trying to piss anyone off. I was just expressing my opinion.
Timestamps:
0:29 ESTPs
1:03 ISTPs
1:33 INFJs
2:16 ENFJs
2:55 ENTPs
3:45 INTPs
4:38 ISFJs
5:16 ESFJs
6:03 ENTJs
6:36 INTJs
7:15 ISFPs
7:43 ESFPs
8:23 ENFPs
8:58 INFPs
9:53 ISTJs
10:30 ESTJs
Thank you. 🙏
what is your type?
LIFESAVER
@@Amanita._.Verosa._. You're very much welcome.
@GuiltyHope You, too! ^^
INTJ - casual chit-chat (especially same mundane topics over and over), people who gossip or flatter to gather information from you or be on your good graces.
As an INTP I can totally be in a talking mood and still only give one word answers. I find it hard to answer most questions in depth without time to think about it. If the question allows for a one word response, I'll usually go for that response unless it's someone I really want to get to know.
My INTP brother can be like this too, and even I (INFP) can be sometimes. Our ESFJ mother sure hasn't had it easy in this respect. With time I've grown more aware of her need to connect through talking (about whatever, even the most frivolous little nothings) and how much one-sided effort she's put into a lot of conversations, and have tried to correct this somewhat, but it can still be hard to keep up with the amount of conversation that she would like, especially since we don't really have that much in common.
I feel utterly intimidated when put on the spot. I need to go away for some time, write a book in my head and try to make a synopsis that is palatable. Fails every time so better off not saying a thing
Yes, and some people seem to not understand this and think that I’m incompetent or downright stupid (an interviewer just called me that a couple of days ago) just because I don’t really have the ability to elaborate my answers with mundane details.
@@hannguyentran5733 I'm glad someone understands the pain. This makes school hard sometimes because I either have a really hard time understanding what a question wants from me or I get straight to the point and don't elaborate enough. It makes me feel stupid
@@oliverjensen8364 yesss to this point! My problem with school is that when teachers or mentors ask a question, my Ne just kicks in and I start to question “what do you mean by asking me that?”, end up with a thousand possible answers in my head while not uttering a word
One thing that INTJs and ISTPs can agree on: A turd covered in sprinkles and frosting is still a turd.
I think another pet peeve I have as an infj is when people ignore consequences, and then get surprised when it happens. Especially when I lay out perfectly what is going to happen, and they brush it off, and then look at me for help when things go wrong.
Lol this might just be me being traumatized by having two brothers who are an Estp and Infp…. it can get chaotic between the three of us
I second this.
- INTJ
That's a great one! 👌🏻 You are definitely not alone. I've gotten to the point where I know who actually wants my advice because they trust my intuition and the people who just want me to listen and not fix their problems.
@@user-mc5vy2vk5n Thirded - Also INTJ
Agree! The refusal to look past the surface or think even one step ahead is tremendously grating
I am an infp and I've experienced this manyyyy times, my estp cousin lowkey annoyed me cuz he doesn't like to think even a little bit further
One thing for me (INTP) is like a lack of nuance when it comes to perhaps controversial topics. For instance I was reading mein kampf (history assignment) and there was a line in there that I really resonated with I think to do with his mothers death it was like “I [hitler] respected my father but I loved my mother” and I was like Yh I feel that and I told someone and they were making out like I was a full blown neo nazi 😂 and I’m like I’m not down with the other stuff, the genocide and whatnot, I just rlly felt that one line 😅very frustrating 😭
Try telling them the fact that Hitler liked dogs. I guess this person will then have to choose between being anti-dogs or anti-nazism
@@formaldehyde3864 and that he was a vegetarian!
🙌🙌🙌 Lack of nuance and impreciseness is a huge problem. A lot of times, like in the example you mention, you’ll make a statement about, say, section a.2.1. of Point 1 and people will critisize you for making such a dumb/problematic statement on Point 1. It’s like, bro, just listen to what I’m saying, this is my comment on section a.2.1, not on the whole damn thing. Same goes for “a comment it’s not a statement, and a hypothetical is not a comment or a statement”. If I’m posing a hypothetical I’m not saying I believe P, I’m actually wondering whether P. People really hate accuracy, and have no qualms overlooking it just to “win” the debate.
Edited for spelling, English isn’t my native language
OMG yes! Nuance, people, it's not a dirty word.
Yeah honestly it’s pretty stupid, it really bothers me too
INTP and I relate to this a lot, especially the second one. I even remember a recent situation like this when some people were discussing a heavy topic and I came up with a hypothetical question which annoyed some girl and she called me stupid for thinking such a thing. Obviously I was annoyed because she took my words and twisted them in a way that fit her narrative which was definitely not what I meant to say. Needless to say I got in trouble way too many times for "arguing too much" or saying something that ticked someone off for no reason.
I love INTPs! I feel like they are so under appreciated. I think what happened in this situation, is the girl was emotionally invested in the topic. When you bring logic to an emotional discussion, you are going to get illogical reactions. Some people want to complain, without a solution being handed to them. I find that annoying as well, if you aren’t going to fix the issue, or attempt to at least see it in a different light, why even bring it up?
@@rayneofstars22 Yeah I understand that and I guess she might have took it way too personally but I noticed that she had the tendency to correct me and say I'm wrong without allowing me to fully explain what I wanted to say because she said she had more knowledge on the topic. So idk maybe she was insecure and she wanted to be one up on me all the time because she wanted to prove herself that she's smarter. Or maybe she has some unresolved issues and she's taking them out on others. Not entirely sure.
@@justacat869 That sounds like more the case! I have to tell you, I always felt pretty intelligent EXCEPT around INTPs. They are just the smartest, hands down, and I admire them for that.
She probably feels insecure that knowledge comes to you so easy. Don’t let her bug ya, sounds like she has a lot of growing to do.
@@rayneofstars22 Yes, thank you for the message and yeah I don't hang out with her anymore because I don't have the energy to argue all the time and feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I like it when people share new information with me, I just don't like it when they do it in a condescending and judgmental manner. There are always new things to learn for all of us.
Oh, yeah. It has certainly happened often enough when some controversial topic comes up that I (and some others) would be interested to discuss it further, figuring out and analysing what actually is going on in there, but then there are people who join in just to do lots of handwringing and virtuesignaling that how dare someone even bring up such a topic, let alone discuss it.
(sure, sometimes there might be people having personal emotional investment, but I'd say that often not)
Somewhat related, going "this is just my opinion"-mode as a conversation-stopper. Saying any kind of thing and following it with "...but this is just my opinion", forbidding any further discussion or analysis what does the person mean with such a comment...
Off to annoy the 16 personalities 🏃💨
Thanks for the weapons, Nathan. 👋
INFP
My pet peeves
Lying
Rushing me
Over generalization (judging)
Getting in my space
Pushiness
Unsolicited advice
Being fake
Yes I do have quite a lot but I'm also very patient and forgiving. Lying is the only one I'm not patient with. Many of these took a long time for me to realize because I learned to put up with for way to long. Anyways thanks Nathan. It's good to be honest about what bothers you. We are all on a journey of figuring out who we really are.
Being peeved seems to be something of a hobby. Maybe have that looked at.
@@richsackett3423 maybe I have just taken to much for to long. Your talking to someone who for most of my life I let people walk all over me. I have let people abuse me all in the name of love. I need to have boundaries and all of this was through self discovery from someone who finds it hard and even selfish to have them. I need to be honest with myself.
@@richsackett3423 Maybe don't be a pain for no good reason, and don't pathologize normal things. There's nothing unusual or unreasonable about her list of peeves. People who do a lot of self-reflecting and know themselves well tend to have extensive knowledge of what they like and don't like. This is just normal for INFPs, and it's not something that's limited to peeves or negative things.
@@tracyzimmerman7912 I'm an INFP too. I totally understand and totally agree on the lying one. I don't lie, and when someone lies to me, it feels so horrible like a piece of my heart has been ripped out! It's good to set boundaries. You have to care for yourself if you want to care for others too. Nothing wrong with that.
@@tracyzimmerman7912 Honestly, for the average person this would be a short list of pet peeves. Plus, they are all very valid
As an INTP, hypocrisy has indeed always bothered me to no end, especially since it often comes with logical fallacies. Loud pretentious people also really bother me.
Very accurate for intjs. I would add:
-Wasting our time. Don’t ramble when making a point. Don’t be late to an appointment. Currently going through this with uni lecturers taking 2 hours to say what could be said in 5 minutes, it drives me absolutely up the wall.
-Faux stupidity or faux ugliness. You know how smart or pretty you are, stop pretending to be weak to get attention. It’s gross.
-Lack of explicit communication. No 2 seconds of eye contact is not enough to convey a full soliloquy of information. Say what you mean. Looking at you dating game.
My husband would read me letters from people when we were newlyweds and not say who it was from until the end. I found it so disorienting I begged him to please tell me upfront who had written it.
Anytime I’m being given information I need to know how to mentally file it in a useful position. If someone rambles, this proves impossible, making the effort to listen hugely frustrating.
the second part I agree with.
I'm an INFJ and my bf is an ISTJ (probably) and I'm a HUGE rambler and he hates it. I'm not doing it on purpose, it's how my brain works. When I think about something, it's really hard to put it into words for me. So when I am forced to put it into words, I end up describing all kinds of things about it, coming to new conclusions as I go, repeating myself 100x and asking "you know what I mean?" after every sentence because I'm scared that what I'm saying doesn't make any sense.
I kinda suck at communication in that regard, sometimes it takes me multiple takes until I FINALLY express myself the right way. I speak more with my body language and my face rather than words. It's really difficult to just say what's on my mind for me. It's almost like idk how to do that.
I totally can relate with you, I'm an INTP
As an ENTP, one thing that really annoys me is when people say I’m thinking too deeply about something that doesn’t matter. Like finding plot holes and logical inconsistencies in movies. Its just how I engage with media and ideas
INTP here but I agree 100%. Especially frustrating when other matter such as art gets a pass despite the criteria being the same.
I’m an ENTP and people give me the same crap. I point out logical issues with the movie when they ask why I didn’t like a movie and they respond as if logical consistencies aren’t a good enough reason to dislike a movie
~INFJ You nailed it! Rudeness in general, but a big one for me is someone mistreating the waitstaff at a restaurant.
And it’s a predicament because the worst form of bad manners is correcting someone else’s
@@PippaPasses yes it is a predicament indeed...
@@PippaPasses Not really. Standing up against assholes should never be considered bad manners in my opinion.
At least, standing up against them should never make *us* feel like we're bad mannered - we're not the problem, the asshole who can't behave like a decent human being is the problem.
@@AA123TD true, though I never experience bullying but I hate it when people do that. Picking on people who can't fight back is cowardly.
INTP - oh my god yes, I hate it when you ask a question and people are like "how dare you even ask this" as if it's some dogma or something.
me, intp : yeah that person did *horrible thing* because *complex social dynamic*
my dad, angrily : don't tell me you take their defense, it's highly immoral"
It's funny because as an INFP I get upset when people DISMISS 16 personalities, because there's more to it.
That’s what I was thinking too. The most ardent followers of the MBTI typology are INFPs and INFJs 😂
As an intj I hate hypocrisy and arrogance. However the very thing that loses all respect is when someone lies to themselves and others. Whenever someone does this I no longer acknowledge that they exist.
INFJ here: rudeness/disrespect- 💯. Interruption while thinking or working-absolutely. I'd add being forced to rapidly make an important decision, esp when a speedy response is unnecessary. And lastly, a refusal to think beyond surface or one step beyond immediacy
In my experience as an INFJ, I've always been the one to accidentally forget or neglect commonly accepted social mannerisms... Just a day or two ago, my ESFJ friend visited our home to give me something, and I totally forgot to invite him inside and just talked with him at the gate. I got called out on my bad manners and "zero-hospitality" later that day, by him, my ESFP mother and my two ISTJ and ESTP (younger) sisters...🤧 In my defense, I already knew his plans for the day and knew he wouldn't have time to come inside, so I just didn't want to waste my breath on something useless. Their argument against that was that I should've still done so, despite knowing, since that's what's proper 😑
I struggle with adopting formal "manners" inside someone else's home as an INFJ, actually. Particularly physical, practical ones. As I grew up in an informal household without regular family meal times, practices, etc, when I visit someone who is formal in this respect, it's quite draining for me. Although I can mirror it, I am aware, in a very active Fe guilt kind of way, how different and "odd" I am, for not being used to this sort of thing. I've rather dreaded holiday dinners for the same reason. Eating is not really a social thing for me; I eat while I work, preferably.
The INFP one was perfect! Crazy how I don't even realize some of these things bother me until I hear it on one of these videos and then I remember all the times I got upset exactly because of that reason 😂
A big one for me (INTP) is people trying repeatedly to engage me in conversation when I am very clearly otherwise occupied. It feels rude to say, "I don't want to have a conversation right now," but sometimes, I really don't want to have a conversation.
For instance, if I'm reading, but don't mind taking a break to talk, I'll close the book, and put it to the side. If the book is still open, and my eyes keep straying to the page, it's not a good time to talk. Sometimes there may not be as many visual cues, but if I'm very focused on what I'm doing (I hyperfocus.) I will not easily be able to pull my attention away from that for conversation. If I'm trying to be polite, and follow along with a conversation I'm not in a state to be having, I'll end up continually having to ask the person to repeat themselves, because I can't focus on what they're saying.
I'm not sure whether this is an INTP thing or an ND thing.
It feels that way because it is.
It is a universal thing. Unfortunately, some people just don't get these cues.
I can relate to both the ISTP and ESTP, the worst is the combo which is prevalent a lot of places: people who are emotional and complaining about something - usually something with little to no actual implications, yet doing nothing, and of course becoming even more emotional when you do something to fix said problem. An example going I voiced multiple complaints to our bosses whom I felt did nothing to resolve the issues, turned out I was apparently the only one actually mentioning stuff to them, the rest just complained and instead just went on office drama sprees, yet said "everything is fine" when asked by the management. Such situations make me hate work and wanna quit.
You described one of my former positions. Too much overtime being paid out, but no new people or equipment was brought on. Well, what do the lower downs know about their workplace anyway? :/
You are doing the absolutely correct thing providing feedback. Unfortunately most people think that they can't voice their complaints out of fear they'll be seen as the problem employee and be let go. In this state of helplessness venting one's frustrations is the only thing keeping them from exploding. It would be much more sad if it wasn't so annoying.
I'm an INFJ and I feel the same way, I can't stand people who complain about everything but at the same time do nothing to change their situation.
@@waterlily7343Like Mao's hundred flowers campaign, that did happen to my sister. A boss told my sister went to go to her rather than the office manager with concerns. Well, this boss is close to retirement age and, based on what I see in skits and such, I'd guess she's ENTJ or ENTP, and not a well-directed one. Tyrant tendencies. My sister did as she was asked and tried hard to be professional about it. This happened shortly before she and her husband left on vacation. Well, with a week or so to go, late on a Sunday night, her boss texted her, writing that she just sent an email that my sister needed to read. She fired my sister over email. My sister was not even halfway through her vacation. Boss woman said that it was convenient for her to do it over email, when everything I've read about firing people says that it needs to be done face-to-face. The boss said that there was an extensive record of my sister's failings, but I think that, if it exists, it was only recently typed up. This boss, a few months later, fired someone who had been there four years because her dyslexia was causing her to mess up too much stuff. Sure. She fought both of them on unemployment benefits. The drama drove a few months later out a favored employee, who reconnected with my sister and helped her get a job where she was working with a slower pace and higher pay.
@@FlamingCockatiel Being fired in the middle of your vacation must be the worst. But I guess it's because of these authoritarian types that the fear exists in the first place.
AHHH the ESTP ones are SO spot on. The amount of arguments I’ve had with friends and family members because either they take this passive aggressive, snarky tone when making a complaint about something - after all, like you said in another video, the tone by which someone says something is inextricably linked to the contents of what they’re saying, OR they refuse to take my advice after complaining and then two days later they’re complaining about the EXACT SAME THING
Yeah. I call out passive aggressiveness immediately. It's like... we're not playing this game. We're gonna make it a thing.
Apart from the other two pet peeves, one of mine (INTJ) is when people talk to you and then take their phone out and write to some other friends just to ignore you, when they started the conversation....especially if they say they're listening but then don't react to what you've said. Or when you walk somewhere with them and then suddenly their 10m behind you, because their on their phone again. Like pleease you're here now, you have time for you're phone later
INTJ here. First off, these are great, and you nailed it with both the neediness and the public displays of emotion factors. I find it very difficult not to see those displays as clumsy manipulation tactics used by those who want to get me to agree to part of an agenda. Broad example: "there's no way this person will turn my marriage proposal down if I make a big show of it in public".
A huge one for me is my having to repeat myself in conversation. I will assume that you either are too much of an idiot to grasp what I'm talking about, or that you didn't respect me enough to listen the first time.
Another thing that drives me nuts is when people (most notably, my ISTJ mother) call me and then ask to put ME on hold because of another call. What? NO.
I'm looking forward to what you release next!
an an INFP i also get incredibly frustrated when people speak over me or interrupt me since i already spend most of my time listening so if someone makes it difficult for me to speak that's incredibly annoying since i won't want to interrupt them
The ISTJ ones are really relatable for me. Lack of punctuality hurts me so much, I don't understand how people can be fine with it.
As an INTP, I 100% agree. I cannot tell you how many times these sheeple have disappointed me, with their herd-like tendencies. Or whenever they assume I liked a competing person, place, or thing's products, even though I had only been talking about the factual shortcomings (not even mentioning a "better option.").
This is so great; I can imagine the types in my life dealing with exactly these scenarios. (case in point: my ESFJ mom and my ISTP brother's one-word responses - hilarious)
INFP pet peeves, for Nathan's research:
- ordering / telling me what to do (unless I've asked for help / am completely lost and need help)
- *repeatedly* telling me what to do / saying the same things over (I only want to hear it once)
- lack of open-mindedness, having ideas completely shut down
- over-generalizations and assumptions (guilty of this as well sometimes, but it always helps to acknowledge exceptions, to give the benefit of the doubt... I think generalizations through mbti can be quite useful in some cases, as long as they're not taken to the extreme)
- inattentiveness / distractedness when having a direct 1:1 conversation
- last-minute plans and surprises, vagueness of what to expect (just makes me anxious)
- being put on the spot (not good at reacting)
- being rushed
- persistent clinginess (I need a lot of space)
- being belittled / forgotten / ignored 🥲 (generally don't need a lot of attention)
This video really nailed it! Looks like I have a lot of "pet peeves", but I'm pretty chill I swear 😅
Oof I can relate to pretty much everything in your list of pet peeves. Guess I also have a lot 😅 Being told what to do is at the top of my list as well. I absolutely can’t stand it, even when the other person is trying to be helpful (actually perhaps especially then because they expect me to be grateful rather than pissed).
And despite my type, I even relate to not liking last minute plans. In my case I don’t need or want a specific itinerary and I like being spontaneous, but on my own terms. It’s the unexpectedly having to hang out with people part that gets to me - (introverted) ENTP
i relate to all your pet peeves. - intp
Honest as another INFP same.
Yes. Told what to do is very high on my list as an INFP. Makes it hard to work for other people sometimes, right?
ENTP here, interestingly enough a pet peeve I have with a friend of mine is her total lack of planning even though everything is always her idea. “What time are we meeting up?” “Where are we going?” “What should I bring?” “What should I expect?” “Are we still on?” “Did we ever assign who’s bringing what for the week-long trip that starts tomorrow to the cabin where nothing is provided for us?” (Answer, I brought 95% of the shit we needed even though there were 4 of us). These are all questions I have to constantly ask because she never tells me shit. No one communicates. Are we even still going bc NO ONE is talking about plans for it? It’s not going to magically happen.
Another pet peeve: lack of communication. People get butt-hurt over the smallest things and then (for example) decide not to tell someone at work something important which will obviously snowball because they’re miffed. Damn, grow up and ask why they didn’t do what you wanted then. ASK THEM. But no. And because I can’t stand hearing both sides of an easily resolvable situation, I try explaining things to both sides to them what happens. And bam. It’s as solved as a third party can get it to be.
It’s these simple things… but reeaaallly dumb things. Maybe it’s because I was raised by an ISTJ mom and an ESFJ dad. That my oldest brother is an INTJ and my older sister is an ISFJ. But there’s a basic level of organization in doing things that feels really… common sense, but baffles me when people treat them like foreign concepts. Not your preferred way of handling it? You do you. But you never even considered handling it… uh yikes.
And I grew up never having to plan anything out or resolving any matters. So me taking the initiative feels really weird, but also I can’t stand leaving the situation be because I’m not an idiot.
DUDE I CAN RELATE, also the thing about initiative, it feels like I'm selling myself short by asking the important stuff and ppl just Don't care, but i have to do that shit ANYWAY because ppl are kinda useless
i always end up having to constantly bother everyone with any plan that has more people than me my best friend and her sister, literally calling everyone everyday to confirm things bc yes i love spontaneity but goodness if there's a pending decision i want it finalised asap so i can move on to smth else
-enfp
@@hotdogeater8647 @taekookies YES. THANK YOU. Speaking of which, I'm about to text said friend when and where we're meeting up tomorrow for something we thought of a month ago. We're going hiking and for some reason she decided on the 3 hour location away :) haha, shoot me!
@@YaburuRunyaru good luck, tell use how it went later
@@hotdogeater8647 It was canceled bc no one knew what was going on :)
I'm not even going to question it at this point
Oh, well being an INTP I am really glad somebody understood the pain being judged for examples rather than the thought behind it ....it almost feels like somebody just read my mind fully knowing me. Thankyou for pointing out the two most frustrating things I've struggled with in my life till date and despise them both equally.
Especially, people judging people and situations superficially without even trying to understand the reasons and conditions is the worst characteristic of human for me. And Hypocrisy is literally the end of relationship for me.
The longer I'm alive, the more I realize that most people misunderstand others, misconstrue what they say, and don't give others the benefit of the doubt. Whether it is happening to me, or I witness it happening to others, it is frustrating to no end.
-intp
I'm an INTJ-subtype{C}reative male, but many of my pet peeves belong to other types. Now that said, the one that especially rings true for me is a disdain against neediness.
Ahhhh as an ENFP I am triggered 😤 The amount of times my friends say they can’t hang out, I WILL find a way to make it work! Or at least give me a good reason why you can’t
Lol not sure if its by design or by chance. But as an ESTP i always appreciate when you put our information early in the video. Lol this attention span thanks you lool.
Ooooh. Love this, Nathan. I agree with INFP, I need all the above I need a huge space to just be alone with my thoughts.
Also the sweeping statements irk me a lot as well! I had to google what enroached meant :))
As an INFP one of my pet peeves is deliberate cruelty
@@luisj.m2471 that just breaks my heart. I can't stand watching the news, just makes me cry in anger. Also INFP.
ESTP here, and I can confidently agree that those who complain with no intent to act piss me off on the daily. It's almost as if I believe those who complain have no right to to begin with, but I know this isn't necessarily true. I've been having to learn that some emotions attached to complaining are okay to sit in, and am thankful for my ability to try and change something in my life that will either improve it or help me to learn something new about myself. It helps me to not sink further into depressive or deeply melancholic states that could be allevaited by, let's say, exercise, calling a friend, talking a walk, repeating truths to myself, etc.
I’m also an ESTP and I really enjoyed your comment. It’s important to understand the emotions attached to it! For me, everything started to be more clear when I learned the difference between venting and complaining. Sometimes people just want to take something out of their chest to feel better about it; which makes sense. It’s just venting and it doesn’t annoy me that much anymore. But when this is something repetitive, just for the sake of it, when I already said everything I could… that makes me absurdly angry. Like wtf you’re complaining over and over again 😂 I got into some bad fights because of that
You what really grinds my gears as an ISTP is when people constantly use analogies to explain something, as if just explaining it straight out would be too difficult. Frustrating to have to wait for someone to spell out a completely different scenario just to eventually come back to the topic at hand.
SAME it drives me insane! Also if someone speaks an essay when you just need a yes or no answer.
With the analogy thing, I actually get mentally lost, as it has been removed from the issue/topic being discussed. I don't need a roundabout way of explanation, as I WILL understand a straight forward explanation.
As an INFP same. My dad usually does this where I ask him a question but then he explains it using analogies and it gets frustrating and confusing at some point and then we end up in a 20 min conversation which never needed to happen.
@@RM-ti8nf exactly
I’m an ENFJ and this drives me completely up the wall, too. So exhausting…
INTJ was so spot on it got me scared for a moment because I talked to someone about “neediness” just today and of course that was my exact mindset :’)
but the ISTP was awfully relatable too. overreacting partially overlaps with “showing too intense emotions” so that makes sense but oh GOD when people keep beating around the bush . . . wasting my precious time and energy
If I had to choose two pet peeves personally as an ISFP, I’d say being interrupted and being censored. I don’t always feel the need to add to the conversation, but when I do, if I’m talked over or told I am not allowed to say something, it gets under my skin like nothing else.
Oddly the ESTP pet peeve of complaining about something without doing anything about it applies to me as an INFJ. It does frustrate me when people complain about a problem in their life while actively contributing to it in the long run!
I am INFJ, and sure i can get annoyed when people complain but doesnt try to fix. I think INFJ's are good at identifying how to fix it. But i also believe we are good at understanding why they havent done it, because we wouldnt have done it either. I think INFJ often knows how to solve our own problems too, but get stuck in the thought or planning stage.
Intp here. My dumb pet peeves are people not using a ruler, clicking knuckles/neck/cracking back, people not understanding me, sand (idk it's the texture), omg people not cooperating and playing their part in team work, people suing more than three dots for ellipses + the video's one I relate to a lot. I do debating and people always think I believe in what I'm saying... Like I'm not agreeing I'm stating fact stop getting offended.
So many accurate ones here! Including the INFP ones - though as usual, I relate to several from the other types as well, including the ISFJ ones. People being bad at their jobs is actually a pretty big pet peeve of mine. There's a lot to unpack regarding why, from the various negative consequences this can have, to the unfairness of someone unsuited for a job getting that job instead of someone more deserving (especially in a competitive field - and this happens a LOT), to just plain liking competence and quality and people putting good things out into the world instead of crappy things. I don't necessarily expect other INFPs to relate to this one, but yeah.
I am an infp, I do understand and relate to what you're saying. I value quality quite a lot since I was little.
Oh, this time ISTJ appeared to be closer. Though I pretend to be an INTJ, their pet peeves are somehow... close, but not exclusive; I'm an INTJ, but I know the experience of poverty and need, so it's not like I clearly don't like "needy" behaviour - I'm ready to help my friends, if I'm able; but rather I don't like when the person in need don't even try to solve the situation by oneself or thinks of me as a permanent source of solving one's problem. So I can lend money once, but on the second time I'll say: "Mate, I'm not a bank."
Same with public emotionality - c'mon, INTJ don't care about people, so they don't care about their emotions as well; I can agree with that feature, if it means that those public emotion bursts begin to somehow involve or touch an INTJ directly - then yes, I will quickly flee out of the situation: "F*** away, it has nothing to do with me".
Comparing to that, ISTJ's features are more clear and unambiguously true - I'm not good at time-management, but if the time was arranged, then die, but come (though I'm calm with +/- 15 min delay/early coming). Same with seriousness - as an INTJ, I definitely like to laugh at silly people's beliefs and naïveness, but there are things that demand mental involvement, intense inner processing, focused approach. When I don't meet it from the counterpart, I feel discouraged.
At the same time I understood, why the best of my partners according to some apps are ENFJ and ENFP))
that being encroached upon, as an infp, really hits home. I would extend that to any interruption of my thought process, such as when I'm "in the zone" at work. Don't pull me from my business to show me your vacation pics or ask how to log on to HR. save it for when I'm spinning in my chair or getting my third coffee.
I just wish I could live alone. I know 100% that I would not be lonely.
INTJ here.
Needeness doesn't bother me as long it's upon a reason
Public displays of emotions again doesn't bother up to a limit: yes i will be awkward and a bit embarrassed and say get a room(if pda) or please don't cry but that's more to do with my need to help the person and usually being unable...
I HATE and i underline it: loud noises that includes environmental noises such as motorbikes, cars, honks, alarms etc but also loud music and loud speech -even if i am guilty of doing that as well-
Another thing i hate is when people are not being truthful and when being upset says -nothing is wrong- while there is clearly a problem. I am not a fucking wizard/ psychic to guess what's on your mind and why are you mad at me or in general.
I concur with both, especially the noises. I wish I could eradicate cars, planes, trains etc and replace them with peace and quiet.
INTP here, late to the party of course. 'Judging Questions or Hypotheticals' was on the nose. As an iNTP if you hear me talk to you, you have earned some kind immediate, short-term interest and trust. I've done the ol' INTP hyper-analysing and come up with an interesting dilemma, or a potential fork in the road. Creating a hypothetical helps me a) contribute to the conversation and be involved, b) letting you into my mind and thought process. We *want* to hear what you have to say; if we only wanted to prove a point we would use an analogy instead.
To offhanded say 'Well that would never happen' is dismissive and kills the engagement. We have now been rejected, our #1 fear. If done in a group setting it is almost a guarantee we will never speak to you again and if we must, it will be in a 1 word answer with no explanation.
haha so true. no wonder people are so often baffled by us. Just today someone told me that many people in the office are afraid of me.
as an intj woman, they hit the nail exactly. i’m good at providing accommodations, but dependency and neediness tend to aggravate me a lot 👍
Infj, dunno if it’s a pet peeve because it can get much more serious-but people trying to manipulate/pressure in attempts to control the behavior of others during conversation stress me out a lot. I pay close attention when people talk, both in the content of what they say and how they say it. I REALLY notice. Often the outcome the person wants is something that would have been easily negotiated with a little honesty. If cooperation wasn’t given freely, at least some attempt to help out would be likely just from a place of goodwill. The control attempts and dishonest presentation of them make my skin crawl and alienate me hard from whoever’s trying it. It lets me know the person can’t be engaged in good faith and like… I literally notice all the patterns that betray what they’re doing. It reads very selfish.
I really loved your point about INFJs. I haven't seen many paying attention to the fact that we hate interruptions more than anything.
2 pet peeve of mine is people over-exaggerate the simplest of things. Yet simultaneously over-simplify nuanced topics and discussions
And another one are the mountains of logical fallacies people make when arguing or discussing
-INTP
this!
In contrast, as an isfp, Fi may also be geared towards tolerance of different styles in fashion and art. I may not prefer to wear cargo pants but the techwear dudes sure do and thats important to their individuality as much as mine.
A pet peeve of mine would be seeing people who create identities that don't speak for who they really are. Or the kinds of people who mindlessly go with the flow and actively abandon their individuality.
Like wearing all your clothes from a specific brand just for the sake of the brand itself, essentially turning your expression of fashion into “hey, I’m a walking advertisement”
When you said that "seeing people who create identities that don't speak for who they are" oli london popped up into my head.
INTJ who finds the *reasons* to be misanthropic to be annoying because those reasons *exist* at all... it helps to see extroverted interactions as *social chess*
I’m an INFP but I can definitely relate to the INTJ annoyance with needinesses in a relationship. Also I think my mom is either an ISFJ or ESFJ…I can see how some of the things I’ve done might have annoyed her 😂
ISFP here. Pet Peeve of mine is when people ask me a personal question and then lack the patience to wait for me to answer. A lot of the times it takes me a moment to search through my mind on how to answer. Most people end up saying/asking something else before I have answered and then I am left annoyed.
"Interruptions", more like "unforeseen interruptions"! As an INFJ I fully expect people, i.e. my family and friends, to interrupt now and then when I'm working or studying and I don't mind that much, I may even welcome it. But if it's an *unforeseen* interruption - like if there's a power outage when I'm in the middle of an important task on my computer that I forgot to charge, or if a relative comes over who expects you to give them hours of attention on a work day - that is 100% a pet peeve.
I am an ENTJ but I relate the most to ESTJ. I hate not having clarity.
As a partner of an ENTJ I can say they definitely don't like wishy-washiness but my partner is pretty emotionally intelligent, he is always there for me when I'm down and I do the same for him. I don't think he's ever downplayed my feelings.
my wife is ESFJ.. I give her one word answers all the time... poor woman married an INTP
ISFP:
-Tackiness is not so much as a personal pet peeve as it is something I judge in others and myself. I don't take this personally when I see it in others.
-I rather enjoy conversations that are dynamic, including when people play devil's advocate; but only if they make it clear from their body language or given the context of the discussion. However, if they do that out of spite, then hell ya. I hate that.
Some personal peeves:
1) When people heavily stereotype others. I get it that stereotypes are necessary as a framework for learning about topics and things, but I do not like it when people ONLY see the stereotype and not see a person's nuances, nor give them a chance to show how they're different.
2) When people verbally talk about an issue to the general group, but you know they're only digging at you. I hate this so much. If there's a concern, address it directly. There is no need to indirectly sound it off in a passive-aggressive way, and awkwardly involving unwilling participants to listen to the issue.
3) Posturing and value signalling. This annoys me like nothing else. It's so fake and hypocritical--jumping on a bandwagon just because everyone else is doing it.
4) When people do a half-assed job at work, or are sloppy (i.e., working without integrity)
5) Micromanaging
Heavy agree. Tackiness doesn’t bother me in the same way I’ve come to accept people with a lower Se function just aren’t as situationally aware and it’s not their fault. Devils advocate can be useful for making decisions but a lot of the time it runs on and on into Ne concepts that will never happen and just wastes my time.
I’d say my biggest pet peeve is when people complain to me about something that is easily solvable or isn’t really an issue. Basically forcing negativity on me over the most inconsequential things. But I agree with the rest of your list, especially the last 2.
@@azuritecola7894 Ah yes, complaining for the sake of complaining, when they could easily do something about it. I agree.
And I agree with your view on tackiness. It's also their preference and choice. They do them, and they do not hurt anyone in the process. Nothing wrong with it.
Thanks for the feedback :)
I also agree with all your peeves! - INFP
As an ISFP, I totally agree with Nathan! Tackiness hits the nail on the head for me. I want the world and everything in it to be beautiful. Bad manners is another biggie.
ENTP - A profusion of unimportant details which blot out the sun. You can't see the forest for the trees for all the damned bugs and dust in the air. Get to your point, fer chrissake.
"Conventional wisdom" is a euphemism for "collective stupidity".
INFJ was so accurate. Personally, when it comes to things that bother me, I can mention one specific that trigger me out: I feel frustrated when people change my plans at the last minute. Not like ESFJs. For example, I like punctuality (me to be punctual) and I program schedules for get the things done at the right time, so i can't let down my tasks or compromises. I hate when ppl interrupt a thing I planed to just spontaneously please me to do something they need. But I hate worst that I can't say no.
Other things that bother me are stupidity, lack of arguments, no explain things, arbitrariness, doesn't know how to communicate things, rudeness, violence and noise. 😅
Istg I'm not a picky person, I can understand people so easily. These behaviors really bothers me when occurs so often as they become habits of my environment.
enfp~
being cut short while im elaborating on smth, i do see how it can be frustrating for others to not be able to tell where what i say is going until the end, (if i'm genuinely rambling for ages though i'd want you to tell me to get to the point so that i'm not annoying you without realising), but if i begin a sentence in a seemingly unrelated way i very rarely do it for the sake of unnecessary talking, i always have a reason/context and a logic that will make complete sense if you just give me 5 seconds 😭, but if it's assumed that i'm just saying nonsense it can feel quite patronising, and if you cut me off too quickly without an actual reason like having to go or smth it can feel like policing my natural way of speaking and i hate that
OMG! As an INTP, those two pet peeves are perfectly accurate!
I usually have people problems in real life because of the first one, and online (youtube comments sections, most often) because of the second one.
So. Spot. On!
You nailed ISTP. We could have all the time in the world and we'd still think people were wasting it. And any extreme displays of emotion, no matter what form they take, are annoying. Of course I'm annoyed by everyone most of the time, but maybe that's just me.
Yes, some memories: I have an isfj friend who was frustrated recently about the unfairness of the education system.
And an esfj who had to cancel a meet up with me, so she sent chocolates with her apologies 😊
And an istj neighbour that leaves to pick their kids up ten minutes before I get out.
My estj friend who gets frustrated with lack of clarity from people.
Entp - Yep. Didn’t realise the second one until you pointed it out, but absolutely over planning nights out irritates me a bit. I’d add an honourable mention to people who say one thing and do another, and those who will just avoid an issue so that they don’t have to deal with conflict.
For INTP, you forgot that our pet peeves are ppl who said we cannot analyse or question smthg. I hate it when ppl do that 🙄
INTP here, I looked at the title and was like “ah there’s so many to pick from, I wonder which one of ours will be shown in this video” lmao
Amen to pretentiousness for ESFP.
I'd also like to add being around people who do not give signals so you cannot understand them. People are our mediums and we need to know them understand the would. People who don't give us signals leave us feeling lost. Just had dinner with a group of intuitive thinkers and was totally ungrounded. Had to resort to smile and nod tatics. Give me signals! Give me something to understand you so that I then have a basis/compass to go by. I'm told everyone at dinner really likes me....who knew...and that not knowing is soooo annoying!!!!
Married to ENTP...very true about over planning.
Many of these were pet peeves, but when you got to INTJ, I realized… yeah. When I encounter “neediness” I become unapologetically callous and annoyed beyond reason, lol.
I felt called out, as I got a proof of that literally a few days ago. I'd been speaking to that person for couple of days (INFP) when suddenly I heard: 'and you're judging me all the time'. I replied with: 'I can't change the way you're feeling about it, but you're in charge of your life. I'm just telling you my opinion'.
'Yeah, but I don't need people like that in my life'
Me: 'of course, you don't need anybody. I don't need your presence either. I thought you were appreciating my insights. If not - well, you've got your life, I've got mine'.
We haven't spoken to each other since. I didn't say those words with an intention of hurting anyone. For me it's obvious that we all should rely on ourselves first and not look for justification of our actions from others.
@@maggis0 Think you might be confusing neediness with not wanting to be judged. These are different things. Clearly the person didn't need you and made that clear. If they kept clinging to you or demanding things from you, that would be needy...
@@Multitudes_ : they were seeking validation and justification of their needs. That was being needy to me.
Thanks for pointing out lack of clarity in my argument.
I suppose if you had seen the interaction, you would have agreed.
The INFJ one is definitely accurate. I despise interruptions. It's really annoying when I have something planned for the day that I want to do, or when I'm currently doing something, and I have to stop. Usually when it happens, then I can't get back into it.
Intj here. Both are true. It's even worse when I'm the one displaying those behaviors. Any other time I can get away from the person acting that way. But I can't get away from myself, so I have to deal with the self-annoyance that comes with it.
Oh my god, I absolutely HATE being micro managed!! 💯 Let me have the freedom to be me and either you like me or you don't!! 🤷🏼♀️ LoL
INTJ here, irritated by public displays of emotion and neediness, of course, but also sulking, failing to respect the dignity of others (especially me), and grandstanding when unwarranted.
As an INTP, someone in an argument says "do your research" when they haven't actually done anything that looks remotely close to actual research.
It's funniest when you can clearly tell that you are the one who has actually done research on the topic.
Emotionality isn't a pet peeve for us INTJs. It's far worse than that!
An unpredictable force that can't be controlled and the curse bearer himself is often quite willing to act against his/her best interest just to inconvenience you a little...
No, for me, my pet peeve has more to do with inefficiency and irrationality. Nonsensical regulations that make work needlessly tedious, people insisting on special treatment, colleagues taking my stuff without asking me and then leaving it wherever they had used it, my boss changing his requirements, not during the planning phase but 5min before completion... Or especially during dating life, having someone who expects you to read minds and gets offended when you have no F-ing clue what she wants...
The intj part was so true, I HATE NEEDINESS AND CLINGYNESS so annoying, you will quickly become a burden- and we abhor burdens. And just emotions displayed over the top is so werid and EXTRA and annoying to us.
I think the ENTJ one about "wishy-washiness" only applies to rational (maybe businesslike) or opinionated (like a political/religious beliefs) decisions. However, emotional decisions or decisions between more or less similiar things are a different thing, often not so easy to make by an entj. They might still dislike seeing others do that, but they are often very indecisive about that kind of decisions themselves.
Would you like to elaborate perhaps, but now using functions theory so I could visualize it differently?
@@whyadonay Why too stupid to understand what you're asking from be, but happy to elaborate. What do you mean with function theory?
ISTP and yes. Definitely. I also relate very much to the INTP pet peeve.
Yeah, same. I feel like I'm pointing out hypocrisy all the time, like I'm on constant alert for it.
Well done Nathan! Another excellent video explaining things smoothly and clearly. I'm ESFJ and yes I hate one word answers, I never let it show but on the inside I do. However I don't mind when people change the plans at the last minute, I can (usually) adapt to what they are feeling at the moment, but the "lack of attention" from ENFJs also get me.
The two points on INTP were so on-point. Casual hypocrisy is something I tackle for myself very often, especially with societal issues and judgement that I recieved from others when talking, or apparently having the gall to even mention, certain topics were just a relationship breaking thing for me.
It is massively ironic that you paired pretentiousness with ESFPs, as they are possibly the type most guilty of doing this. The INTP ones were pretty good. Maybe a little more significant than pet peeves, but accurate. The second one especially is something I've encountered a lot but never been able to put a finger on quite like that.
Adding one for ISTJ: stasis
Its a stereotype for ISTJs wanting everything to stay the same, but if its time to talk about what to do, they absolutely hate empty talk that doesnt lead to action, even if that means change. Ive learned that you can talk about the wildest things to them, but they will use Si to connect that to reality and lay out the stepping stones for that to actually happen, like they have a map linking the conceptual world to the real world, but you will piss of an ISTJ quickly if all your talk leads to nothing.
Intp. Yes to all the ones you listed. My biggest pet peeve is when people hand me things that I haven't asked for.
INFP here. The one thing I absolutely CANNOT stand with a ferocious passion are liars, especially compulsive liars where the lies are downright unrealistic.
As an INFJ, I agree that being interrupted or ignored is definitely a pet peeve of mine. Neither happens very often I'm glad to say.
Wow! Get out of my head, Nathan! I had the thought “well, *yea!* especially in their own *home.”* annnnd as soon as I was done having that thought you said “especially if they are in that person’s home.” 😅
As an ISTP, yes I really don't like people who overreact.
Also:
- people who always choose the easy way when it is evident that it's not going to give best result.
- pushing me to do something or telling me what to do.
YES! Whenever someone tries to say no immediately and dismiss anyone's idea like it's stupid, I ask how they know. What research have they done? Surely an intelligent person as yourself would never draw a conclusion without establishing a base of research and reason!
Okay, so I don't say that last part, but that's the implication hahaha!
I don't do it, either!
I'll just say, "Wow! I can't wrap my brain around that one at all! Would you mind sending me the article you read that in, or explain it to me more so I can understand?" :)
Don't know why people get off on feeling superior to others... it's so cruel
INFJ >_> people assuming I have bad motivations/intentions with my interaction toward them. This activates the instant doorslam.. I was going to be a good friend, then they repeatedly assumed ill intention, now i'm, no friend or never friend. /:)
One of my biggest pet peeves is pettiness/childishness, especially when i’m trying to have a non-heated, normal conversation with a person.
Like we could be talking and our values/opinions don’t meet or I point out on something they said that doesn’t make sense but because i’m disagreeing with them, they start to be passive-aggressive and start to be childish. (mocking things that I say in a childish manner etc.)
Then they start being petty with me for, idk the rest of the year just because I disagreed with them and said pineapple shouldn’t be on pizza. I see it as a funny topic to talk about but some people get irritated about that.
Which leads to the other pet peeves.
- taking things that I say seriously and ridiculing me for it. (i’m not going to actually fly off the building Janet).
- constantly ignoring me for some odd reason.
- CONSTANTLY critising someone for their flaws instead of addressing it (nicely) and helping them to improve.
- clinginess
- Hypocrites or people who get upset/disagree when I say something, but when another person says the exact same thing they agree. Like huh??
- non-open-minded people (and then continue to spread false information about that topic they know so little about).
- downgrading or seeing someone as lower because they’re introverted and quiet.
- lies for no reason
- immature peoples.
- diagnosing people because of something they did once.
- Somebody calling someone’s point illogical even though their own point was based off of what Andrew said and Andrew got his information from a non-factual source.
- People who don’t wash their hands 👀 or bum crack cause why? But they use sanitiser instead.
This list could go on but Imma save everyone from my rant.^v^
I'm ISFP, but ESTP one fits me the best on this one. triggered by passive agression and complainers who don't do nothing.
.... that ISTP pet peeve description applies heavily to me. 🧐🧐🧐
confirmation.
Since I'm still unsure of whether I'm an intp or an istp, I could say that I find it really bothersome when people don't state their points clearly. It also baffles me when they act in a way that is contrary to their beliefs, like???
for the type, look at the functions
Despite the fact that I have tested the same for almost the entirety of the last 25 years, I still tend to have moments of doubt with INTP. Which, apparently, is also a pretty common INTP thing.
Anyway, what I did is I looked for descriptions of the types that I was conflicted about. And if it seemed that I was trying to make something fit then I knew it was wrong. If it fits easily, that's where you are.
The biggest thing to keep in mind is this is all a spectrum. Everyone has all of the types in them somewhere, and no one is 100% anything. It's a matter of what your preferences are, what your go-to is when being asked a question or doing a task or learning something new or whatever.
People who throw pity parties to me results in me being cruel and they just wail why am i this bad .....seriously throw croc tears Im not fallig for your tears! Get it done and cant stand how they just cry to get some help or pity . If youll do it then do it...-entj
Intj: physically demanding activities.
There’s nothing more unappealing to an intj than doing dumb muscle things, heavy lifting furniture and construction works.
However, when those things are for their dream house or dream workplace, they(i) put up with them and will do them with sone kind of a passion and mostly as fast as possible.
Nah using your muscles can be a fun break. Exercise is a really nice reset to the mind, and it provides time to listen to things.
@@EresirThe1st i don’t know, I’ve never enjoyed it. Exercise is different; it’s kinda fun, because you know the result will be worth it and it kinda energises you during the day, if you do it in the morning. I’m talking about the day to day activities in which the pure strength dictates the result.
Maintenance works for example. Some people don’t avoid it and even get a kick out of it as if they’re excited to do them.
@@pinkbanana1276 I get you. Tbh maintenance in general sucks, things should just be done with.
INFJ and those are not the pet peeves I would have come up with myself, but they are very correct.
If someone that I am with and by extension feel "responsible for" is rude to anyone, I want to crawl into a hole. I am not confrontational enough to call the person out on being rude, but also feel so bad for the person they're being rude to. It's a very good way to get me to never hang out with you again.
And I do hate interruptions. And the trickier thing still is that the person has no idea that they are "interrupting" anything as to them, the silence invites conversation. My husband is a big "Factoid" giver and I had to explain to him that if we're on a hike or in a quiet environment, I am relishing that quiet and deep in thought and his factoids are really disruptive to it. I try to do most of that stuff solo as a result and hang out with people when there's a mutual expectation for conversation.
The answer I would have given is small talk/vapid discussion in a group setting. I hate sitting there in a group listening to the one person who really likes to hear themselves talk speak at length to a) brag about themselves in such a way that alienates the group or is unrelatable or b) just goes on and on about something very trivial and being captive to that conversation. I will smile and nod, but on the inside, I'm imagining myself gouging out my own eyeballs in order to feel again.
The ISFJ ones are definitely pretty spot on. I care a lot about doing things the right way and acting properly, and I have a strong desire for fairness.