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The MOTHER shares some of the responsibility for the drama between her two daughters; why she hasn't done anything to quell this dispute is appalling, but to turn on the decent daughter is unforgivable.
Absolutely. I can’t even with this. To me it sounds like mom might’ve pitted the two against each other, or just ignored it altogether because she didn’t want/know how to deal with it. It’s just sad. It truly broke my heart.
somethings mom can`t fix and having a sis like this you can`t change them, she is dead right to walk away now and save her self years of crap at family gatherings and ending up being the one who is supposed to be at fault cos she will milk it! don`t get trapped now or you will be stuck for decades till your parents pass!
Yeah, having grown up in a very toxic family myself, the absence of the mother in this has been incredibly suspicious. Further context would be needed as I am very tempted to say it is the mothers fault first. Losing a parent to death is traumatizing enough without having to deal with a new family on top.... We have no idea what role the mom played in helping her first daughter through these life transitions. The absence of her throughout the story just to show up at the end in support of the first daughter screams red flags. I am trying really hard not to project.... what I do know is a narcissistic personality disorder (among others) can occur as a response to trauma... and the oldest is definitely showing signs.... There is a good chance OP is suffering a narcissistic sister, negligent mom, and enabling father...... but even if not, she is definitely a victim and not the AH in this. :(
It’s possible that some of the treatment was not known by the parents, but the fact that the sister openly disrespected the father leads me to think they knew how she treated her sister. To me it sounds like the mom felt guilty about her first daughter losing her dad, so she let her get away with horrible behavior because she saw her as a victim. It’s important to hold kids accountable for their behavior, even when they have gone through trauma. It can never be an excuse to be a terrible person.
“Ciara” ruined her own wedding by being a massive bridezilla. No one else would have known that the blue sequined dress had been worn as a wedding dress. The rule isn’t “Don’t wear a dress worn in a wedding to someone else’s wedding “ the rule is “don’t wear white” because then you’ll look like you may be the bride. The whole situation is unnecessary and stupid.
I agree with those who think this was a set up and that she wanted to create a situation to try to villainize and outcast this friend. Why else would she tell everyone to wear something that so perfectly fit the description of that particular dress? Just doesn't strike me as a coincidence. She wanted to humiliate her thrifty friend and ostracize her from a shared friend group. I hope it backfired massively.
If she was so close to her beforehand, the she would’ve absolutely known OP would wear, or at least consider wearing, that same dress. Sounds like she was sabotaging on purpose.
It was her prom dress originally. She couldn’t get a dress for her own wedding, why should she buy a new dress for someone else’s wedding? And it’s not even remotely close to a traditional wedding gown.
Sounds like the bride had a stress induced meltdown over a random thing, tbh. I see no logic to objecting to that dress. It was appropriate for the event.
It's not a "wedding dress", but a prom dress that has been repurposed for multiple occasions. The problem is probably jealousy because you can still get into your prom dress and it still looks so good.
So, this bride KNEW that: 1. OP had the dress 2. OP tended to wear it to fancy occasions 3. the dress was dark blue and fit the theme provided and yet, she didn't say ANYTHING beforehand? Yeah. NTA for sure.
Story 1: The mother shares some responsibility for not getting the older sister grief counseling. She lost her father which was the only nuclear family in her life. Then all the rules and dynamic changed and it's easy to see where she could have resentment and misplaced it to her baby sister. She wasn't even 10 yo when this happened. She was going through a lot in her life and it presents as if she had to navigate that on her own without any success. Who set this kid up to fail so she grew up so cold and mean to her younger siblings? Mind this doesn't excuse her actions but she clearly needed help and I wasn't seeing where she got any. yikes all around
Finally seeing someone who say this, I was thinking Im mad feeling the sister's behaviour (while being horrible) is not out of nothwere, imagine being a kid, lost your dad ,suddenly have a new family you "need" to love, and you only remaining parent's attention get diverted because new babay was born. Even full siblings can hate each other because they got treated unequally or the older sibling got ingored because younger sibling is there, why wouldn't a half sibling feel the same or even stronger? The op is not the ahole, I would balme the parents at this point, the sister needs help not hate
Exactly. Like, let’s look at this through a logical lens. Eldest was likely never given therapy or guided through her grief. Mom suddenly finds a new man, the man and mom do not work to gently integrate him into eldest’s life and instead leave the feeling of “This man is replacing my dad” to fester. Youngest says that mom get pregnant extremely quick, and thus it can be concluded that Eldest was likely never prepared for that reality, and thus, 2 new feelings began to fester too: “This kid will always have both their mom and their dad, while I’ll never see mine again and I can’t hate mom for replacing me and dad so I’ll hate this kid instead”, and of course “Mom’s the only parent I’ve got left but now she’s going to put all her focus on a new kid instead of me.” Those feelings were never addressed, no counseling was given so those all merged with the untreated grief and formed a ball of pure unadulterated hatred at her core. Mom never addresses any of Eldest’s feelings, just keeps playing pretend with her new family, and thus Eldest and Youngest’s relationship is what it is today. Not a shock she hates her half sibling and stepdad considering all she must’ve felt, and no one ever batted an eye.
Exactly! How many people would have had any idea that prom type cocktail dress was actually worn as a wedding dress. Unless the OP is leaving info out, like that the bride specifically asked her not to wear that dress or had made comments to her so OP knew she'd be upset if OP wore it, then I do not get the fuss. Sounds like a weird bridezilla thing to me, lol.
Agreed. I'd bet money on it that most of their guests didn't go to both weddings to even know that OP wore that dress to her own wedding. I like the idea of getting a second dress to have a choice, but not because of this incident. OP didn't do anything wrong.
@@silviabarreto6969I mean, if I still fit into my prom dress that’s all I’d be wearing for the next 20 years 😂 I don’t see how it was an issue either way.
The blue sequin dress was originally her PROM dress. She didn't wear a wedding dress to her friends' wedding, she wore a prom dress to her OWN wedding.
@@cosmicnightwalk7341 nope. Not how that works. Before queen Victoria wore a white wedding dress, common folk like us wore whatever our nicest dress was, and kept wearing said dress for years after. There is NO reason wearing a prom dress as your wedding dress would mean you cannot wear it anywhere else. It's not a traditional wedding dress, if her friend hadn't flipped, NO ONE would have known op wore that dress to her own wedding. And if you make a big deal about your friend wearing her nicest dress to your wedding (KNOWING it's one of the only formal dresses she owns) it's on YOU to tell her You're not comfortable with that. NO ONE can read your mind.
@@arose92795 exactly!! It’s a Regency mindset, to wear your nicest clothes multiple times! The only time I wore a new dress to a wedding was when I was a guest at a spring wedding. The bride knew I only had dark dresses. She invited me out on a shopping trip (she needed shoes, tights, earrings) and wanted to get to know me better. We go to a shop, and I spotted this really cute light blue dress. I did try it on. Ngl, it looked good! I was very shocked when this bride said, “We’re getting you that blue dress. You should have something that looks amazing on you.” So… I have this cute, light blue dress!
My sister picked a color from a specific brand for her bridesmaids dresses. Then everyone picked a dress in that color from the store but in a style they liked. It was beautiful. Her bridesmaids were thin, slightly overweight, one was 7 months pregnant and one was pretty heavy. All of the pictures are so beautiful because everyone was comfortable and confident in the style they chose and that made each of them beautiful.
@@morganablackwater2017 Actually she had to include our cousin much like I had to include my husband’s sister when we got married even though she was always rude to me. I chose to avoid drama for my wedding and doing the right thing, to me, was taking the high road instead of being petty. It took years to build a relationship with her and that wouldn’t have happened if I excluded her because we didn’t get along at that time. There are so many opportunities in life we can create conflict, I didn’t need to prove anything to her at my wedding. I would never ask anyone to lose weight or wear a dress they’re uncomfortable in.
@@morganablackwater2017 in general it wouldn't hurt to be nice to your husband's SISTER, even if you didn't hit it off as friends right away, you're becoming one family. So I personally would cut her some slack and let her pick what she feels comfortable in just for the sake of good future relationships. The bride likely shot herself in the foot by being petty, it's not just HER day, it's her husband's day too, and he probably wants his sister to be included.
@@ArielManxx So it might be an unpopular perspective, but this bride gives off HUGE mean girl energy. I strongly suspect Mia's "pickiness" was that she didn't want to wear a skimpy dress and all the others wanted that. Bc the bride picked something even she said was revealing as a punishment for Mia. The fact that she led with Mia being overweight definitely gives me the feeling this bride was worried that Mia would "ruin" her "aesthetic".
I think there is an old superstition about it being bad luck---but people used to get married in their Sunday best. I wish people would breathe and read a history book before berating their "friends."
Exactly what I was thinking. It doesn't sound like ANYONE else at the party said anything about OPs dress. The only one who made any fuss was the bride and it wasn't just a "can you change the dress"? It was a massive blowup/freakout/screamfest. If it was white I'd understand some feelings but OPs dress is like the most opposite from traditional wedding dress you could get and OP stated that hers wasn't even the fanciest clothing in there. Meaning other people were wearing far more detailed blue dresses than her.
@@ei5287 regular people haven’t had dedicated wedding dresses since… sometime after world war 2, I think. So if there is some common superstition, it’s new.
Imagine being a member of the bride/groom’s extended family who didn’t know OP and you see Ciara flipping out over a sequin blue dress as a wedding dress, they’d be so confused.
OP was 10 or younger when most of the story happened so she probably doesn’t know or didn’t understand what was going on with her older sister to share as context.
Irrelevant. What happened in childhood is simply where you begin. I am the first to say it sucks when adults drop the ball and set their kids up for failure but that doesn’t mean the kid gets a pass as an adult. You can CHOOSE to wallow or CHOOSE to do something about it yourself. She is now an adult. Crappy things happen to us all and it does not make this behavior excusable or permissible.
@@TheBaumcm It’s literally not irrelevant. You can FEEL like it’s irrelevant but, if its the entire reason she’s acting this way, it’s clearly not. You can acknowledge what she’s doing is obviously wrong while not pretending what she went through isn’t important.
First story: My mom passed when I (28 f) was seven. Dad got remarried; my half siblings are 9 and 11 years apart from me. I think of them as my full siblings. I couldn’t fathom telling them I wished they weren’t here. Also, they will definitely be in my wedding because I love them and want them there to share the day. They are my family and love them no different. Also, my step mom is my mom, no question.
Question though: Did your dad put you in therapy and help you through your grief? Did he take the time to integrate your stepmom into your life in a healthy way? Were you prepared for the reality of having siblings? Because it’s looking like the mom did none of those things for the elder daughter
In the 1st story, the older sister was allowed to treat OP horribly for years. I get that the older sister was traumatized by the death of her dad, but she was allowed to act however she wanted and never got any help. I blame the mom for not getting her child the help she needed and allowing her to treat OP and OP's father horribly. Of course, it's easy for me to sit here and say, not having dealt with it before and life can be really hard. Op is not the a$$hole, and it's awesome that she stood up for herself!
It's "allowing" to a certain point, when the kids are children. But at 19, she should have known better. At her wedding, not apologizing, she should have known better. Trauma is not an excuse for abuse when it's an adult saying horrible things to a child.
Maybe it is me, but I feel like the mom neglected the older daughter by moving on and having a new husband and daughter. Maybe if OP would have been a boy it would have been different, as maybe the mom did fun stuff with OP while ignoring the sister and the sister saw how her mom treated OP better than her... if that makes sense. I feel like the mom is the root of the problem as OP cant tell how mom was to her sister while she was little and the mom feels guilty and so tolerates the disrespect.
@elefent4642 it wouldn't really change anything as she was happy when their baby brother died when he was stillborn and wishes the same thing to OP. I could never imagine wishing my brother, half brother but grew up with him ever since middle school, he's dead. My confusion and anger when I was in my teenage years is towards my parents and not him. At times yes I feel neglected since he is younger and he has autism, hes treated more carefully than me but the half sister in the story is a MONSTER. She should frikin know better than to blame another child. I hope the husband leaves her at the altar or he divorce her in less than a month cause that treatment is unacceptable
I gope he knows how she treated her sibling and potential sibling. I wouldnt have kids with her if i was him. I dont think theyd be safe. @AllyInReality
I have a grandaughter she is 8 yrs old and obsessed with Charlotte. She loves your excitement and your video edits where you add your face to everyone. Today her mom received a call from school because Miss Vivi has started yelling " HOW ARE YOU NOT EMBARRASSED" every time someone in class gets in trouble! I love it and we love you!
My mom passed and my dad remarried a while later. I dont akways like or get along with my stepmom, but me and all my full brothers cant even fathom the idea of hating our baby half brother just because hes our stepmoms kid. Its so heartbreaking to see people treat their halfsiblings like this, or just any kid who isnt a full sibling, no matter how much they hate the parwnts in question
Story 1: (NTA) Don't go to a wedding where the bride or groom wants you dead. The half-sister needs therapy for her jealousy and anger issues. One day someone's going to call the half-sister out for her being the only reason she's miserable and her relationships with family suck.
Agree, but... I would love to hear the other side, she semms so evil and op so angelic that it just does not semms natural... There is things OP is delibarated not telling! Why a kid, a 9 years old kid has such anger inside her and mom doesn't take her for therapy? Why is a person in a rage fit for a decade and no one thought... hmmm maybe there is a reason, I wonder why? Not OP responsability, but the mother doesn't semms to care about the situation... I don't know, I just learned that when someone is SO EVIL to somebody, usually there is a reason, a good one? not always, but a reason.
@@Ariellympclearly the mom doesn’t see her children as people, which means she probably never helped the “sister” deal with her grief in any way shape or form, which means it morphed into something monstrous
Ok so my husband has a similar situation but his oldest brother never wished his siblings were dead/never born. Just their dad is a narcissist a**hole and he will never accept him as a father. This "sister" needs therapy and that would be my wedding gift lol. Invite the therapist to go with or in her stead lol. The mom and dad didn't lay down boundaries. It's ok to be angry but seriously WTF. Hopefully the fiance sees her for what she is before they have kids. GTFO now
OP's mother is clearly narcissistic and sister is the golden child with anger management issues, who wants to rub the fact that she's getting married in OP's face, hence the insistence that OP be invited. This explains the way OP's mother and sister treat her
@@debbiie_moreira I'm sorry, but where did you get golden child? OP didn't mention anything about the differences in the way her and her half sister were treated by their parents. Neither was there mention of 'rubbing it in her face.' Seems HS is trying to save face.
13:34 Ok, here me out. Given that the bride had a lot of insults up her sleeve, it makes me think that she had secret beef with OP to begin with, KNEW that OP always wore THAT dress at events and chose the dark blue theme for her own wedding on purpose, to have a reason to blow up. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. edit: 16:08 ooohhh I see I'm not the only one who's twisted enough to think that's what happened 🤭
The bride was absolutely using OP to release the anxiety over the wedding. She wore a simple but elegant dress, on theme, which she happened to wear to her wedding but was in no way a wedding dress. I don’t like Charlotte’s take that she should’ve bought a different dress.
Remember everyone don’t make excuses for people when they treat you bad. When i discussed with my mom about kid bullying me in middle school,i said “yeah but they were all child” my mom said “you where a child too”
That ... earned you a sharp look of appreciation over a coffee cup. This is why men of my generation had lawns and lawn mowers: there are far safer places to be than in a kitchen where the truth is being told. Cheers.
The blue dress situation feels like a setup. The bride knew her friend wore that one blue dress to her own wedding and multiple other occasions. Then the bride makes her wedding color blue and asks people to wear blue. Then freaks out when you wear the blue dress. She should have foreseen this if it was such a big issue to her.
@@audreym3908 I just don't really see how the situation can be anything but intentional and still make sense. Unless the bride was upset about something else and OP was the first scapegoat she found.
I wore a blue sequin dress to a really elaborate wedding. It was the right choice. But it had a long church ceremony and sitting on a wooden pew makes sequins hurt your butt.
But she would have to be crazy to do that. For what? There is no point. She is getting married, doesn't she have enough to do and think about without obsessing about some friend who wears the same dress everywhere? Why would she care and what would she gain by this setup? She looked like a lunatic anyway, and if it was a setup I think this person has serious problems.
I stood up to several weddings and wore whatever the bride chose. I looked like a dried flower garden (my hippy sisters wedding) Pepto Bismol (a friends wedding) and an old world puritan (A cousins wedding). I smiled, ate, danced and drank and just enjoyed the party. Knowing I can always throw away the pictures I chose to not make a scene. It’s only one night and all three ladies are still my besties
I must say I lucked out with my maid of honor dress. It's a emerald green, long gown that's a perfect base for many later costumes I've made and wear it pretty often. Also a plus is it never needed alterations which is not normal I found out later. But ya, I'm with you, even if I hated the dress I would put on a smile cause it's just a dress and not a big deal. If someone has issues about there body.... I'm sorry but that is your problem and shouldn't make others bend to your issues you can't be bothered to work on. It's not the world's problem ya know. I think too many think the world owes them things that just aren't owed or deserved. If that makes me a ah, then oh well, guess I am lol.
What is going unsaid in that video that I think is probably going on is that the bride and other bridesmaids wanted more revealing dresses and for whatever reason (her weight, her personal beliefs, etc) Mia wasn't comfortable with that. If the bride's "gotcha" was intentionally picking out something revealing, that's my assumption. If the bride didn't want Mia there, she needed to just shut it down at the beginning instead of just being spiteful about it. All this did was causing the bride a bigger headache, make Mia and by extension her family even more upset, and waste a lot of time.
exactly! so it's not even its first purpose, it's not like she tried to symbolically wear it ONLY to her own wedding and then to her friend's wedding. she wore the hell out of it
@@olechkaagapova Honestly, it's definitely time to retire that dress from the sounds of it - seems like it's getting to the point where it's just getting tacky. My prom dress could pass for a fancy dress for many occasions, not just something that looked strictly like a prom dress...so I get it. Still, dresses like that get pulled out for particular occasions...not worn EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. something remotely fancy comes up. But agree, definitely shouldn't have caused all that fuss though since it's clear OP doesn't have weird intentions around it and it's just a dress she likes to rewear anytime the word 'fancy' flutters around an event. NTA, but still a little consideration should've been had to ask the Bride since it was used as a wedding dress and could possibly toe the line of appropriate. Tbh, I would be irked myself if someone had, say, an nontraditional black wedding dress and rewore it on my wedding day. It's not just about the color and getting mistaken for the bride, but it feels a little like a symbolic "F you" to the bride to be wearing something that was used as a wedding dress and not even being asked if it was appropriate. If you asked, Yeah I'd allow the black dress, but if you didn't - I would side eye you all night and wonder if you were trying to make some weird statement against me.
@@kiraeckard7625 That's kind of weird. From the picture, it looks like a nice, high quality, simple dress that could be worn to multiple events and wasn't so flashy as to attract too much attention. It really wasn't even something that would go out of fashion very quickly, because it's so simple it could easily be modernized with accessories. In what way is wearing it a symbolic F U? Especially when it's been worn to multiple events. Just seems like a weird attitude to hold.
@piyusarkar3065 this. I still have my "prom" (Australian so we don't have prom but have a kind of equivalent) dress and it was a 300 dollar dress at the time, which was a while ago so it would be more now. It was from a small country store that made a lot of their own clothing, so it is actually unique, has a lot ofnhand stitching, really good quality and because it was a very basic shape...yeah, I can still wear it x amount of years later that I am FURIOUS is the number (15....15 years ago....gag). I think it is more tacky to count how often someone wears an outfit rather than reusing an outfit.
The reaction to the blue dress was insane. It's what we called a cocktail dress in the old days. It's just fancy and she acted like a Bridezilla!!! It doesn't matter if she wore it as her own wedding dress. I never bought into the need for more than one fancy dress. I didn't even get one for my wedding. Money can be better spent elsewhere! NOT the A*Hole!!!!
Rule #1 about bridesmaids that everyone needs to accept: The bridesmaids are picked by the bride and no one else. Guilting someone into making anyone a bridesmaid is underhanded and extremely disrespectful to the bride and those the bride has already chosen to be bridesmaids. Mia had no right to pressure MIL and MIL had no right to just announce that Mia was going to be a bridesmaid without clearing it with the bride. I had several people I wish I could've had in my bridal party but we didn't have the funds or space to provide for them, so I had to choose only a few and it was hard. Someone else declaring that so-and-so is going to be a bridesmaid is just downright rude.
I feel like Sierra has been harboring feelings for a while. She knew it was what you wore for your wedding, and picked the color theme of dark blue. I think she knew you’d wear that dress and set up the scenario
And unless OP chose not to mention it, she was never told, “Hey, don’t wear your one dress you wear everywhere please.” That shouldn’t have been brought up on the wedding day; it should’ve been way before that.
I have a "half" sister.I am 62 now,but back in the sixties my mother remarried to my father.There is a 13 yr. difference between my sister and I.She couldn't have been more of a sister to me.She included me in things she did,and never made me feel like I was in the way.She is my SISTER, none of that half nonsense. We are so close to this day,and I couldn't love her more.This woman needs to grow up.❤my dear sister!
This make my heart sing and makes me happy for you and your sister! My biological sister treats me like I poisoned her, and has since the day I was brought home from the hospital. I’m now 64, she’s almost 70 and still acting like a witch.
My sister and I are also half sisters. Our age gap is only 3 years, but she is my best friend. I've never viewed her as anything but and I get upset when people say "well half siblings don't count." I couldn't ask for a better sister
I have have a very blended family. I grew up with my two sisters and brother, and even though I only actually have one biological sister l, my other siblings are just as much my sibling as her. I also have two step sisters from my dad’s side which I’m not as close too, but are just as much family. I couldn’t imagine this level of hatred to a sibling.
It’s not at all uncommon to have a family member you want to include in the wedding in an official capacity but one that doesn’t “fit” as a bridesmaid or usher. A friend solved this problem (she and hubby had lots of siblings and friends) by having official “greeters” at the wedding and reception. It was lovely. They got to wear whatever they wanted but each got a matching corsage or boutonnière AND a name tag that identified them as greeters. The name tags had their name and, in smaller print, their title (friend of groom, sister in law of bride, etc.). I thought it was a great way to make them all feel included yet keep the cost of the wedding party down. They were also very helpful during the event by helping the older folks with seating, handing out wedding trinkets, getting folks out on the dance floor, supervising a few kiddos, and even acting as cocktail waiters and waitresses for the older folks as it was open bar.
I have heard the second story before, and every time I agree with the comment section: Ciera has a problem with OP, and used the dress as a way into drama. It backfired though because the dress look like the one my mom uses at formal work functions. It doesn't look like a wedding dress, at most (if you squint) it resembles a MoH or MotB dress.
OP wasn’t going around telling people that the dress she was wearing is the same dress she got married in, so she’s NTA. Up until Sierra started throwing her little hissy fit, no one else at the wedding knew OP was wearing her wedding dress other than OP, OP’s husband, and Sierra.
I think there where some mutual friends, but nobody had a problem with it, because it's not a white dress and they most likely know that OP couldn't afford a new dress. Honestly I like frugality, I like to save money to spend it for things that are more important to me.
The way she avoids saying the inappropriate/"spicy" words by replacing them with weird noises or saying "giggetty"/"giggiddy"(?) Has me cracking up everytime 🤣
Second story about the wedding dress--Why not find a friend that can sew and change up the dress style a little bit. Maybe some sheer navy chiffon and drape as a second sleeve and a chiffon gathered belt. Wouldn't cost much and it would look new. I love the dress and don't want to ruin it.
I have three "half" brothers and they are everything to me. I was part of their education, I almost raised them.... I'd never... EVER think of them of being half anything... We shared the same womb! My dad and their dads weren't the best thing ever, our mother is a bit ”teenagery"...we share a bond stronger than blood!
Absolutely. I have 14 siblings all adopted. I couldn’t imagine saying, “you’re not my family because you’re not really my full brother/sister.” Like, what a MONSTER!!!!
Good for you a lot of people who had a parent die and then the other parent move on start a new family would make another person feel left out and bitter I can see it
@@erikarussell1142 no but did you have your father die and then have your mom move on and have babies? That’s where the problem is She has never gotten over her father dying
I was really glad to see the comment about the bridesmaid that altered the dress. My best friend got married and chose a revealing dress. I am very busty and did not want to upstage the bride. I approached her and her mom, privately, with my suggestion about adding some lace to make the bust line less revealing, and they were both on board, especially when they saw the dress on me. I felt comfortable, the bride got what she wanted, everyone was happy.
Oh I did that! My sister and I are built very differently (she's tall and slim, I'm short and curvy) so when we were our stepmum's bridesmaids we all went into the dress shops convinced that we'd be going the "same colour, different styles" route. And then we found the perfect dress: form-fitting, knee-length, lace and beading. It just sat so nicely on each of us - except I was spilling out a bit. All I did was stitch some of the wide ribbon from the cake (decorating the cake was my job) into the neckline and it kept the girls from escaping. You'd never be able to tell the difference
One of my bridesmaids wanted more coverage for her dress so i was like yeah whatever makes you comfy lol 😆 they all had the same dress. Including my pregnant sister but all looked amazing ❤
I wore my wedding dress to my sister wedding last month. It's an emerald green in colour. No one cared. I think they didn't even realised that I wore my wedding dress.
That’s because your sister wasn’t trying to set you up 😭😭😭this girl was fully trying to set her friend up in my opinion why ask someone you know has no fancy outfits to a wedding and expect them to not wear the only fancy outfit they own it makes no sense otherwise 😂
I never want to get married (or een date) but I always thought acool wedding theme would be EVERYONE wearing white (Bride and groom with an accent pop of color) and then do a cool color-run type eent where everyone gets splattered with color and ends up with a super unique and fun outfit. Some cool slow-mo photography and stuff would make it so fun.
First story: The OP should agree to go to the wedding, then privately whisper to the sister, "sure, I'll come and socialize with EVERYONE at the wedding. Don't worry, I'll be 100% honest about our relationship with anyone who asks..." then, deny saying it to the mother. Have sister spend her entire wedding worried about what OP is saying to people, making a point to speak to the groom's family - "yeah, I was really surprised I got invited. She once told me that our mother should have aborted me, so I can't believe she wanted me here." I am more than petty enough to wreck nasty sister's wedding day without doing anything that other people might question.
Lol. A fun revenge fantasy for sure 😅 There's the danger of people taking you for the 'psycho' and 'drama queen' though and the whole thing backfiring. Maybe she should have just 'threatened' the sister and then been very sweet to everyone. Would still have ruined the brides day 😅
I like it, though I wouldn't actually say anything to anyone. Just make sure to talk to as many people as possible, all the while giving sideways glances at the sister making her THINK you're talking trash about her.
16:02 if they're friends and OP has worn that dress to other events after her wedding, the friend knew FOR SURE that she would wear that dress. And I'd bet my bottom dollar that the friend has SEEN OP in that dress outside of her wedding.
The last one: as much as the bride wasn't exactly an angel, I don't feel that you can complain if you are a bridesmaid and someone else is paying for your dress. I've been a bridesmaid quite a few times, and I've worn colours I hate, styles that didn't suit me, materials I didn't like. But how many times have I complained? None. Zero. Never. Because it isn't my day. So long as the bride is happy, I couldn't care less what I look like (as long as it covers me and I won't flash everyone, obviously...). As a bridesmaid, the clue is in the name - it's your job to look after the bride. Don't like it? Don't be a bridesmaid. Simple. Because it's not about you, it's about the couple getting married getting the day they want.
No. The first thing she mentioned was the fact that the girl was fat, and that she DELIBERATELY chose a style which would make her want to drop out. Everything after that was excuses to try to convince herself, and us, that she was NTA.
@@dajtoad1 No. Just no. Firstly, Mia forced her way into the bridal party. Despite not being close to the bride, she complained enough that the family thought she would be "sad" if she wasn't asked and so they asked the bride to accommodate her - and she did, which was kind. If the bride had a major issue with her weight, she would have said no. Mia then tried to hijack the dresses and expected the bride to buy something for all the girls that suited *her* body shape, but not that of any of the bride's *actual* friends. The bride seemed to only mention Mia's weight (it was not accompanied by slurs, etc) because it is the reason why there wasn't a style that suited every bridesmaid. The bride didn't force Mia to do anything - she was given an option that would have accommodated her *and* everyone else, so that *everyone* was comfortable, and she chose against that. So, if she's not concerned about the comfort of anyone else on the day, why should she receive that courtesy? She's literally complaining over a free dress because it isn't her personal choice and weaponising her weight in a bid to get her own way. Everything about the story screams that this girl is not used to people saying no to her, but IS used to everyone doing what she wants. Absolutely not! Not her wedding, not her day... So, I reiterate my original statement on the matter. If you want to be in the bridal party, you suck it up and be uncomfortable because, so long as the bride is happy, then that's all you should be concerned about. I've done it, and every woman has body insecurities - why does she get a pass? If you really can't do it, then you talk to the bride and drop out to remove yourself from the situation. You don't attack the bride in an effort to get your own way. When you're a bridesmaid: It. Is. Not. Your. Day. (And that is applicable for people of ALL weight categories)
I grew up with a sibling who would LITERALLY tell me to "just go die fatty" ALL THE FKING TIME. One time, she said it in front of our aunt while we were out at breakfast, and she was publicly shamed by auntie for it. It made her say it somewhat less, but it wasn't until the day I literally screamed at mom for never once speaking up for me when she says that and how absolute sh1t she was for saying things like that, and from then on it started to change. In our case, she's my YOUNGER sister and she did that because she was really emotionally fkd at the time. She needed therapy and some help, but eventually we all worked out sh1t out and she's a normal decent human now. That was prior to her really growing up - if you're still absolutely sh1tty to people after you finish growing, and you don't even acknowledge any of how awful you are to others, YTA. :'D The OP absolutely was doing right by refusing any attendance in that half-sibling's life. I'd go non-con with her too!
Your story is the main point here. Mom should’ve addressed this when her daughter was still young and pliable rather than older and more set in her personality. Unless something truly shocks that sister enough for her to do some self reflection, this is who she is now
my younger sister and I's dynamic LOL. Yeah she openly hates me and says it all the time, Mom just says "She doesn't Realllly mean it." Yes mom. she DOES mean it. Dad finds my younger sister's bullying as funny. He often supports her haha.
@@xoxablade8345 that's horrible. EVEN if she, somewhere deep in hear heart, didn't mean it. That wouldn't change the fact that she is hurting you now. Who gives a shit about years in the future. You are living your life now. And I am sorry that your parents are blind and lazy about doing anything about it!
My older sister hates me ....she always acted like she can't stand me at all we are both adults 15 years older then me..when my mom passed sister got bad she would gaslight me and say evil things to me she broke my confidence down made my depression worse ...I'm also disabled..one day she was gonna take me to grocery store but got mad and didn't take me reason she was mad she wanted me to get a disney credit card and give it to her so her and boyfriend and kids have a good time. I'm not stupid I told her no she had a fit threatening me to leave me on other side of town to walk home over 20+miles ..she took me home without speaking drop me off I was stuck without food for 3 days and cried my eyes out she ask for 500.00 i told her i cant thats my rent money...also money my mom and i saved for moms cremation once mom passed we all went to funeral home i paid for everything using that money we saved sister saw and made comment like she did not know i had that on me i know she was refering shopping money that's how she is she gaslighting me by telling me im crazy I need to be put in mental hospital I was feeling stomach sick im not crazy ..she ask me to ask my doctor for pain pills i told her no im not in pain she said she likes feeling numb when she takes them ..i thought shes crazy i aint asking my doctor for no pain pills.......the day mom went to heaven sister also told me she hopes my mom didn't spend her last 2 breaths thinking about me..them words broke me down bad...me and mom took care of each other family turned their backs on us when we were homeless...mom had cancer I took care of mom like my took care of me we were there for each other always😊...sister always act like she hates me for no reason at all she always said mean things to mom too I have a letter she wrote she had notarize full of lies trying to get us in trouble with a government office ...she lies alot makes stuff up saying she has brain tumors and all at my dads funeral then few months later I bring it up she swears she don't know what I'm talking about 🤦 she uses the deaths of mom and dad to get sympathy on Facebook all the time anything she can to use others I hate all her lies I hope one day she wakes up and sees what she's doing is hurtful to everyone..sending love to all those that been through stuff hopefully things be better ❤️❤️❤️
Also, regarding the last story: I HATED the color my sister chose for her bridal party. My mom knew I was nervous about it (she chose a beige/champagne color, and I really don’t look good in that,) and so when I was trying on the color she wanted, my mom kept saying “see, I don’t think it looks that bad… what do you think.?” I just said “it’s not my wedding.” Of course I had opinions about the color, but my sister is a basic beige white girl and it was HER day, so my opinions didn’t matter. I was her MoH for HER, not the dress. I’m engaged now, and (she doesn’t know this yet,) she’s gonna be wearing black for my wedding. We’re total opposites, but I know she’ll wear whatever dress I choose too. ❤
ohhhh please share how that goes and congratulations! I don't have sisters so it's been really interesting for me to see the dynamic with my husband's two sisters. My ex only had brothers.
The first story is so heartbreaking. I can't imagine what that poor girl went through emotionally. The things her older sister said to her as a very young child, when they lost her little brother, all if it, is emotionally damaging. Good for her setting that boundary. That she had to set when she was only 10!
I unfortunately can understand what that's like. Now it wasn't my sibling but my own mother. My own mother tried to kill me multiple times while saying it was my fault. She said I should've never been born, that I was a mistake and I was imperfect. For contexts I was born sick (like to the point where I'm bedridden). ANyway, she would also not feed me for a few days. Thankfully my dad found out what was happening and I live with him now. No, I was not a r@p3 baby. In fact I was planned. But people like them exist in this world. I have dealt with it all my life. And I told you the tame stuff.
if a link doesn't have a bunch of upvotes.....don't risk clicking it. If it actually went with the story people would have hit like. Don't catch a virus from some shady link.
I told my bridesmaids to wear something nice. They are the ones that coordinated the colors themselves! My wedding dress was antique white and they arranged their colors from cream to Snow White and I was fine with it because what people wear is not as who I was marrying!
The first story. - the mother is deluded if she thinks they're going to now have a "relationship". Sister needs her to be a prop to keep from looking like the a-hole she is.
that first story is so hearbreaking. The half sister bride needs some SERIOUS therapy. Clearly losing her father was traumatic for her. Never ever an excuse to treat people so horribly, especially your own blood. I have a half brother who is 23 years younger than me, and I have had to deal with the fact that my mother started a whole new family with a new man after my sister and I moved out and started our own lives. Its tough because now when I need her, her priority is my brother. But i would never treat him like any of it is his fault. My only real qualm is the fact my sister and I begged for a brother our whole childhood and she finally gave us one when we were adults lol. Pro? My kids have a best friend/uncle close to their age lol
That sounds like a bit of a complex situation but I'm glad that your kids and bro are close in age and that your mom focused on you and your sister beforehand.
@@audreym3908 it certainly was, but I am happy my mom found her own happiness. My dad was not a good one. She had her own traumas and I think it was her dream to have that mom and dad family unit that my sister and I lacked. Now my step dad is an odd duck, but he is good to my mom, my sister, brother, and myself so I have no complaints about him. We just dont have a close relationship like we may have had if my mom married him when I was younger.
I had blood siblings that treated me as if we had separate parents. And like OP mom did nothing. But as I got older the tables turned. Now they come to me for support, etc. It took some time and distancing myself from them to forgive them. Our relationship is much better. My sister even apologized for her behavior when we were young.
After my divorce I dyed my wedding dress black and wore it for a costume party where I was supposed to play an evil queen-type character. It looked pretty great and now I have it for other costume/Halloween/spooky events.
I was the oldest child of my mom. All my siblings are “half siblings” and I just consider them my siblings, not half anything. I could never imagine treating them this way!
Same I didn't realize my younger 2 sisters(they have their own dads and us oldest 2 have 1 dad) didn't realize I had half siblings till a friend explained their half siblings. I had only thought it was a term for siblings via dad but not mom. 😂
Same. My mom has 8 kids, the oldest 3 share a dad the next 4 share a dad and the youngest has his own dad but our dads treat us all equally and last I checked I don’t have half siblings just an evil stepmother and a wicked stepsister but the stepsisters son is my nephew 😅
Same here. I’ve always just treated my half sisters like normal siblings. I don’t even call them half sisters, they’re half my blood so that makes them as much family as any cousin or other family.
Same, I have two older siblings with a different dad. They aren't half of anything. They're my siblings and I'd take a bullet for them, and them for me. This isn't just an assumption on my part either. We have had discussions about our different dads and those discussions have only made us stronger together. I get not blending families and the struggles of being a child whose parent has died while the other seemingly moved on. However your siblings are innocent.
13:50 No, I’m sorry. There is no valid criticism to be said against her. It doesn’t matter what she used this dress for before. It is a dark blue dress. She can wear it to a wedding period
I couldn’t have cared less what anyone wore to my wedding. My groom and I were so focused on enjoying each other, the day and seeing everyone and it was such a great day that 27 years later, people still say it was one of the happiest weddings they’ve been to.
My wedding dress was a sequined dark blue gown and told my attendants to get themselves a party dress that they would wear again. I was wearing sparkles and so should they.
Jumping to conclusions is great exercise 😂 As for the blue wedding/fancy dress 👗 since you have worn it several times, other people will have seen you wear it. Those people should not confuse you with the bride. Rock that blue dress 🎉
Even if not, the bride most likely wore a typical white or white-ish wedding dress. How would anyone confuse her with the bride? Everyone who has been on OP's wedding (and therefore knows that it was her wedding dress) obviously knows that she is not the bride as she is already married ;)
For the last story, I have something to say! I'm very overweight myself and was placed as a bridesmaid for my cousin's wedding, the demand was to choose a green from the ones the couple had already selected and pick a dress from it. The bride herself told me I could opt for a suit (all black, white shirt and green bowtie) if I felt more comfortable. I did try to find something that would look good, but the bigger you are, the uglier clothes get, I did drop 12cm on my waistline for the event (I wanted to, nobody asked me for it) but my shoulders are huge (larger than my hips) and there was still nothing good enough, so I ended up wearing a suit. It's just the SIL wanting to be difficult, she had so many options and still chose to be difficult about the whole thing. Sure, the bride was fatshaming there a bit, but I'm guessing SIL tends to make her weight everyone's problem.
There can be many things that make you not look your best for a day. Not all dress styles suit all women. But if you love your friend who is getting married, you shrug and look less than great for a day just for her. Thing here was that the girl wasn't some close friend of the brides so she wasn't going to just sacrifice for a day in a far less than amazing dress. I have lots of sisters and have got stuck in some AMAZINGLY ugly dresses. You give it up for the bride because her day. Can she really NOT wear the dress, or would she simply not look good in it? Because it sounded like the later and that's no excuse for a bridesmaid.
@@charlotteinnocent8752 As a bigger girl recovered from an ED, my upper arms are a trigger point for me. A strapless dress mini with a slit is my absolute nightmare. I've been bridesmaid shopping, and the dresses are not kind - it's either skinny straps, strapless or matronly sleeves a young woman isn't into. It can be a genuine struggle and when you know there will be a lot of photos, you want to feel good. It's not like an ugly colour or a bow. That said, my friends have always gone collection and I have always found something that makes me happy! OP just didn't want her in there. And she found a way.
@@charlotteinnocent8752 The story is told by the bride, so I'm inclined to bias towards the SIL... This bride and her skinny friends purposely choosing styles that don't work on bigger SIL is passive aggressive behavior, like "you are not welcome here" said with clothes. The bride admitted so herself in the post, she ultimately picked something she knew would not suit her fat FIL on purpose, so she would drop out. And then tried to gaslight her saying she was feeling excluded for no reason. IF the bride had said she genuinely tried to pick something that would suit EVERYONE, then I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, that the SIL WAS being difficult... But this feels like it was literally set up so the fat person self-excluded. Like something super revealing, that even if she DID choose to wear the imposed dress, she would then be told she ruined the photos or something because she didn't look "appropriate" in the dress. I don't think it's about SIL's vanity, her discomfort is 100% by design from the bride's will to exclude her from her wedding party.
@@katymaloney Look what Lizzo wears on stage. The young lady can wear ANYTHING she really puts her mind to. But is the bride an ahole? Certainly. She has sabotaged her future relationship with her SIL. She should have said straight up to her SO's family, "I am sure I will love my SIL when I get to know her but my wedding party is my great friends I have had all my life. I just don't know SIL enough yet." My comment was not excuses the bride, it was about how I feel this SIL needs to NOT let the dress be the thing that stops her. Brides NEVER chose a dress that "suits everyone". They chose the one they like and the bridesmaids like it or lunk it. That's how it goes for the whole wedding. Is the bride a bit of a B? Definitely. But if I were SIL I'd wear the dress to throw it in her face. Also, I would be annoyed at my family for pushing me into a wedding party like that. They also are a holes because they have put her in so many awkward situations. She is the odd one out not because of her weight but because she is a stranger. Lots of a holes here really.
@@turnoffthetv I know its hard but you have to not let things hold you back in life. The people who care about you don't care about your arms. In fact, you'd be shocked how few people care about the arms. Look at Lizzo on stage and remember that your body is amazing and just because it's not the same as other peoples doesn't mean you have to hide it away. I know its easy for someone to just say that but if you keep telling yourself that eventually it will get down to the subconscious. Maybe even a little therapy might help. Hugs to you, don't let ANYTHING stop you.
Was a MOH in my friend's wedding with two other friends (bride's maids aren't really a thing here, so she had three maids of honor/best man) and her request when it came to dresses was "if you find anything purple, that would be awesome, but just choose dresses/shirts you feel good in". The other girl and I found really pretty, purple dresses and the third friend found a purple shirt and tie combo. Wedding pictures look great and everyone was happy, despite not making a fuss out of every little detail
Irrelevant. Daughter could’ve gotten her own at this point. She hasn’t contacted OP or even apologized so that goes to her choices in how to behave as an adult. She is choosing to continue this behavior now.
19:33 You missed the part where OP said that the girl herself was insecure about her weight. OP didn't say she had a problem with the girl's weight only that the girl kept rejecting things because SHE was insecure about her own weight and kept rejecting anything that everyone else wanted because she wouldn't be comfortable in it.
This. As someone who was insecure about my body for years, that was solely my problem and not for others to accommodate. I had to work on my own issues and not expect everyone to cater to me.
That was my read too. Not that OP didn't like that the bridesmaid was overweight, just that this was the underlying reason for bridesmaid being difficult. As a side note, I have reasons that I don't wear revealing outfits too, and if I was a bridesmaid but everyone else -- especially the bride -- wanted dresses I wasn't comfortable in I would voluntarily drop out so that I wouldn't cause problems for the bride.
At first that's what I thought too. But then OP stated that she doesn't get along with her soon to be SIL or like her. She purposely choose dresses that wouldn't look good on SIL in hopes of getting her to drop out of the wedding party. I agree with Charlotte that both were jerks in this situation and both could have handled it better.
@@dragonfliesnh4204 That didn't happen until near the end of the dress shopping experience. After she turned down so many dresses that they were all getting frustrated. So when the girl chose to let the bride choose at the end of all that drama, THAT is when the bride decided to ef it and pick something that would make her drop out. Given all the difficulties that were also outside of the dress shopping, I don't blame her. But I would have just told her she can step down at that point rather than do what she did.
That's why it was horrible. I agree her insecurities is a "her problem". HOWEVER, with that said....the intent was the bride-to-be KNEW this as a weakness and intentionally used it against her. A friend would be better to say "I don't want you in my bridesmaid party. I want you there but my bridesmaids are picked from quality time I had with people who help me be who I am today. Stood by me through thick and thin & are in my closest inner circle. I love you just not at that level." That would have had more respect and get the emotional hurt out of the way than to weaponize the girl's insecurity. Anyone else would be called a narcissist for it.
I've had two weddings now and for both of them I told my bridesmaids they can pick what style dress they feel comfortable in and only gave them a color and length requirement. Especially at my most recent wedding my ladies looked absolutely beautiful and all unique and I loved it.
This is basically what I did as well. I picked the color and asked them to get the same length but the style could be different if they so chose. I couldn't afford to pay for their dresses and even if I could I didn't care about being completely matchy matchy anyways. Everyone looked great!
When I got married, I had a dress that was just at kneelength and one of my bridesmaids told me later that she would not have picked it, but she did it for me out of respect my choices and my color palette. That’s how it should be and if it really wasn’t issue, she could’ve communicated, or like one person suggested bought her own damn dress
4:00 Found the problem. Op and her father aren't a sort of "second family", they're a reminder that her father is dead and her family is gone. Really feels like the mother was at least emotionally absent. I'd also like to note that she only got "remarried" when the sister was 8. Could very well be the mother took a year for her grieve and then kept moving on telling her daughter it's good because she'll have a new family.
The MIL is the absolute a-hole in that last one; who DOES that (publicly announce that someone will be a bridesmaid, without checking with the bride first)?
As a fellow Fat girl, I'm kinda reading the opposite as Charlotte. I have a feeling that the added bridesmaid tends to use the Fat Card to try and get special treatment and that's why she was being difficult. I have been in a few wedding parties where either I'm the biggest or one of the biggest girls. Two of them we all wore the same dress style, and the others we wore coordinating dresses. In all of the weddings we all looked fabulous! NTA, but a bit petty lol
Yeah, petty but not in the AH territory at all. If I remember correctly Mark Narrations went over this story and shooooott was her MIL and SIL manipulative af. It just happens that SIL being fact was one of the highlights by how hilariously difficult she made an event not about her, about her due to her 'condition'.
That is a very good point, you might very well be right in that. The thing about battling discrimination is that for some time, it actually turns around and the other side might be discriminated because they are afraid of being labelled as racist, xenophobic, sexist, homophobic etc. We end up walking on egg-shells around ppl from various minorities and we are sometimes more accommodating to them than we would be to anyone else. Because unfortunately there are some people, thankfully not many, but still there are, who know this and use it as a weapon to get special treatment. Or perhaps they truly believe they are getting discriminated against any time things don't go their way.
I am fat to and fat is not the brides problem. The bride just pointed out it was mentioned that the grooms sister was fat and self conscious about it. Sorta a dickish move going after someone insecurities, but it seems like , Mia was it, made it ok by being difficult. Obviously her family doesn't tell her no and how to be civil. Bride was petty but not an AH. AH move was forcing your way into being bridal party then trying to get the dress to be what they wanted.
@@1g5efj7t Unfortunately, it was pretty relevant to the story as that added one of the excuses to how she should be 'treated better'. It is just fucced
just my two cents...when my husband and I got married 37 years ago, I would not have cared if our friends all dressed like canaries! I just wanted them there to share our joy. Shouldn't that what a wedding should be about?
Charlotte, little kids don't have the maturity to understand rejection, especially from a usual source of affection. Every book, move, story, etc. is filled with sibling love and the natural love they have for each other. It would confuse kids until someone makes it as clear as wanting them dead. That poor 10 year old girl. No matter what age she is, it's going to live in her mind forever.
Plus when you're a kid all the tension you pick up on, you tend to assume it's your fault, that you did something wrong and if you can just fix it and get it right everything will be fine. You don't expect the "grownups" (any person more than a handful of years older is a grown-up to very little kids) to be wrong.
@@fibanocci314 Absolutely.. Kids are just learning about the world, they think that they aren't getting it right because they have no experience to draw on and default to it's their problem, not the others around them. That comes with age
For the last story, I used to be the person who would make it harder for everyone to pick something over my weight. It took me losing weight, working on my confidence and going to the gym frequently to realize how my insecurities impacted other people. If you are happy being overweight, then you kinda have to own it. Your insecurities are not other people’s problems, especially on a day that’s not yours. I think bride tried hard to accommodate SIL but at a certain point, sometimes people’s problems can be suffocating and add even more unnecessary stress. Just my take from personal experiences on both sides :)
It just snuck into my video. I was looking for the skip button, then realized it was Charlotte and just sat back and enjoyed. Charlotte has the best promos!
Charlotte, the long quietness as your conclusion got my attention & the beauty, relief, truth, safety, peace & positivity which I saw really grabbed me!❤🎉
That first one is NTA. You can’t harvest as a fruit from a tree you don’t tend. Simple Golden Rule that we all learn in Kindergarten as well, treat others how you wanna be treated and all that.
You have to think about the last story. OP was not body shaming her. However, she did try to keep the peace but Mia kept making it difficult until the bride finally put her foot down on a decision that she could not make. Had nobody forced her to involve her as a bridesmaid, none of this would have happen. Her fiancé’s family is TA.
I had a very similar dynamic with my half sister (same dad) before we parted ways in 2015. We are 49 (me) and 57 (her) now, and all my memories of her involve stuff like her cutting off all my hair, her and my dad fat shaming me, and her and her mom insulting me at my half-brother’s wedding. The last straw was a lawsuit; that’s all I will say. Three years ago, my boyfriend had his Facebook posts set to public for a while and had tagged me in a photo. My sister - whom I’m not in any way connected to on social media - found the photo and commented that it made her “happy”. A few months ago I caught her creeping on my Instagram account. Without some kind of “Hey, sorry I was such a bitch to you in the past; let’s start over” kind of message, I have no interest in having any sort of relationship. Blood is NOT thicker than water.
My Mom owned 1 dress. Uno! It was simple, knee length two shades of gray. She wore it to every wedding, graduation, funeral. It never bothered me because I knew she didn’t wear dresses and I was happy when she did.
I have been a bride and also a maid of honour and twice a bridesmaid and each time I bought my own dress and the only one I ever picked out was my own bridal gown. This all happened in late 90’s and early 2000’s and although we did have a few bridezillas but the brides/bridesmaids currently have such entitlement, bizarre requests and behaviour! It’s just crazy to me…every summer for about 10 years I went and was in multiple weddings per season, we only had the wedding we could afford and everyone was happy for each other. People these days need to learn that world does not revolve around them but instead revolve with the rest of us!
I’ve been a bride once, sole bridesmaid twice, one of a pack of bridesmaids three times and matron of honor once. Any time I was not the bride, I wore exactly what the bride told me to wear with a huge smile on my face. As the bride, I don’t think I’d have even noticed if someone wore a wedding dress to my wedding. 🤣
Regarding story #3: My daughter had friends in a variety of sizes from XS to 4x. They chose David’s Bridal (many dresses in different styles, but same fabric/color). Each bridesmaid was allowed to choose the style they felt fabulous in. Some of the larger gals wore boleros/lace shawls and everyone looked beautiful!
DB is great for this. For my wedding I made it super easy. The dresses were black. I told the girls to wear any black dress that covered their boobs and butts. Black tuxes for the guys. I bought matching dyed scarves and ties for them all in indigo (the other colour). It all came together perfectly. No one spent a dime besides me and I got a discount on theirs because I had my dressmaker do them (I also wore indigo!).
It can always work out if the bride is also reasonable... but I think in this case there's a bit of mean girls action... bride purposely chose something that would make the fat bridesmaid self-exclude because "we didn't want her anyways"....?! If I was SIL, I'd call myself a Groomslady and wear something the color of the men's tuxes, and let the mean bridal party have their pretty dresses and ugly souls.
I love how the Honorable Judge Charlotte is slightly belligerent, possibly British, and that her sobriety could probably be called into question, easily one of my favorite imaginary people ever! 😂🤣🥰
The bride in the dark blue sequin dress could have it altered into a skirt, then pick up lovely blouses, jackets, and shawls to change it up. With the leftover fabric, make a matching purse or headband. Repurpose your heart out and look gorgeous with your independent style.
My baby sister is 8 years younger than me and her father is my Mom’s second husband. Neither myself nor my two sisters from my Dad have ever thought of her as our “ half “ sister. As a matter of fact I was crushed when I found out years later that my baby sis carried secret pain about not feeling like our real sister because she has a different Dad. That Mom created a mess she should have fixed years ago. I hope OP gets a great sister-in-law someday to help fill that need. FYI your ad break was really clever. Great work !!
I thinks it’s a cool idea to have a wedding dress that could be worn for a variety of occasions. Nobody would of known it was the dress she wore at her wedding till ciera made a fit. Not to mention it literally fit the description of what was appropriate attire: dark blue, fancy attire. NTA 👩⚖️
The half sister one made my jaw hit the floor, I have 3 half siblings and we all get along especially younger sister and I even though mum tried to turn us against each other she was not a kind woman.
@@agavictoriahonestly nothing excuses a fully grown adult telling a child that they wish their mother had aborted them because they think she's disgusting...
@@agavictoriathat's what I thought as well. Maybe there's another side to the story. I'm guessing the step dad didn't treat her right at start and hence she lashed out. And the OP is definitely hiding something. Because if the step sister hated her so much then she wouldn't have invited her no matter what especially for a reason like "questions will be asked and to make her look good". Nowadays it dosent work like that and people are more understanding when someone has issues with their family and I'm sure her husband also knows she dosent get along with her step sister.
@@godk4tos183I don't agree with that. I've never had the best relationship with my own full sister. She made me a bridesmaid and treated me like a slave, while her maid of honour sat sipping on champagne, then decided to cause massive drama with me on the night of her wedding - accusing me of sabotaging her wedding, being a sh+tty sister and that I never should have been a bridesmaid because I am 'useless'... There is nothing more to the story, she was just really being a d*ck. I regret going and doing a damn thing for her. We speak now, but I actively choose to avoid making plans. Sometimes people are just horrible people.
7:15 That sister wasn’t looking for a renewed relationship; she was just looking for the 17yo to come to her wedding and then the next day she would renew treating her like sh&t again.
Story 1: I would contact my entire family and tell them everything and why I would never contact her again. I also would have contacted the future husband to let him know everything. If he wants to stay with her after that, that's on him, but they would be no way in hell I would stay with someone like that who hasn't tried to fix the shit storm they created. I couldn't believe they would be a good partner or mother.
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I have a wedding dress story. About 8 years ago, my SIL bought me some nice dresses as I had none(except my wedding dress). Among them were three velvet dresses, two black and one dark purple. I wore each of the dresses once in a while to church or some occasions, but they were rather more formal than any of the occasions called for. They have been in my closet hanging around for years. Last December, my younger brother was getting married. My mom showed me pictures of my sisters wearing their bridesmaids' dresses, and they were velvet. I decided right then and there that I would wear one of my velvet dresses. The day came, and I was super busy getting shirts and pants pressed for my boys and fixing my daughter's dress(installing modesty plackets as she is 12). When my husband came in to get ready, he asked if we were ready. I said I just had to get myself ready. I ran into our closet and emerged wearing the dark purple velvet dress. He did not understand why I changed as I was wearing a decent, though not formal, dress. When we got to the wedding, I would say close to a third of the women were wearing velvet and one of my sisters, who was not a bridesmaid, was wearing almost the exact same shade of purple velvet I was. Her dress was brand new. Mine was 8 years old but looked brand new. My husband was impressed and happy I had changed. We had a lovely time. The moral of the story is that if you have a quality garment that you don't know what to do with, keep it around. As long as you don't put on too much weight, you should be able to wear it again as the color and style will come back around.😊
I think the focus on the last story should have been more on how MIL and Mia forcing herself into the wedding party, when the bride didn't want her in it. Mia being on the larger side, was just an aside.
Yep, mil and Mia are definitely the ah, the bride was not. It should be the bride's choice on who her attendants are. At this point I think I would just say your out, you can attend as a guest.
As someone who knows someone who is insecure about their weight and looks, i dont think they’re being fatphobic, they bring up their weight because they allow that insecurity of theirs to ruin happy moments like dress shopping for a wedding. I deal with my mother who constantly refuses to be in family photos or will bring up how fat she is and how much she hates being fat every time to go to a restaurant. I get being insecure about how you look i deal with insecurities about how i look too. But its so incredibly draining being around someone who constantly fat shames themselves and never having any photos of her with the family cuz she can’t handle being seen in a photo. Nobody brings up her weight except her and when she doesn’t that shes also shaming everyone who hears that, cuz then they know thats how shed feel about them if they were heavy too
My best friend wore a dress that was identical to my wedding dress, but hers was turquoise. She had no idea what my dress looked like and was mortified when she saw my dress and worried I’d be upset… I found it hilarious. My friend looked beautiful and I was so happy to see her on mine and my husbands special day. Brides that flip out because of other brides attire are seriously insecure.
I wore the dress I got married in to a friend’s wedding. It was a pastel multicolored floral, short, lace dress. Not a wedding dress. I wore it for Easter before and after getting married in it. That’s the type of dress it was. Like OP, simply the nicest thing I owned when we finally decided to make things legal at the courthouse (I kept holding out hope for a wedding redo but it didn’t happen for lots of reasons including money, family, ex drama, etc.) and we didn’t even publicize exactly when we got married and there were no photos (yes, all the things I wanted were robbed from me, I’ll take a little pity, BUT I got the guy and that’s what truly matters). No issues at friend’s wedding. This dress in question, no one would have known had been OP’s “wedding dress” unless they’d been at the wedding. It looks totally appropriate for the occasion and her friend seems to have other issues with OP (I sense insecurity) to make a scene like that at her wedding. If she hadn’t said anything, no one else would have known or seen a problem. I don’t have money for fancy dresses either. Lord knows I wanted to at least get a cute, white dress for my courthouse wedding (and some photos) but it simply wasn’t possible. Even now, I get a new dress like for Christmas but they’re not formal. I didn’t get to go to prom either but if I had, I’d have made use of the dress as often as possible. I don’t see a problem here except with the insecure bridezilla. No, we shouldn’t have to stretch our budget or go into debt for someone else’s wedding or event.
I've been binge watching your wedding drama videos and they're so good, i guess i'm trying to relieve some anxiety since my parents wedding is in a week and i'm the one who's gonna be carrying the wedding rings, and tbh it's also kinda strange bc i never thought i would see my mom in a wedding dress or see my parents marrying like that (they've been married for almost 18 years and i'm turning 16 a day before the wedding) they've been married for so long but only on paper so i never thought i would actually see them getting married in church, especially bc my mom never cared about it (still doesn't but my dad is really excited and happy so she's happy too)
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Part 2
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The MOTHER shares some of the responsibility for the drama between her two daughters; why she hasn't done anything to quell this dispute is appalling, but to turn on the decent daughter is unforgivable.
Absolutely. I can’t even with this. To me it sounds like mom might’ve pitted the two against each other, or just ignored it altogether because she didn’t want/know how to deal with it. It’s just sad. It truly broke my heart.
somethings mom can`t fix and having a sis like this you can`t change them, she is dead right to walk away now and save her self years of crap at family gatherings and ending up being the one who is supposed to be at fault cos she will milk it! don`t get trapped now or you will be stuck for decades till your parents pass!
Yeah, having grown up in a very toxic family myself, the absence of the mother in this has been incredibly suspicious.
Further context would be needed as I am very tempted to say it is the mothers fault first. Losing a parent to death is traumatizing enough without having to deal with a new family on top....
We have no idea what role the mom played in helping her first daughter through these life transitions. The absence of her throughout the story just to show up at the end in support of the first daughter screams red flags.
I am trying really hard not to project.... what I do know is a narcissistic personality disorder (among others) can occur as a response to trauma... and the oldest is definitely showing signs....
There is a good chance OP is suffering a narcissistic sister, negligent mom, and enabling father...... but even if not, she is definitely a victim and not the AH in this. :(
It’s possible that some of the treatment was not known by the parents, but the fact that the sister openly disrespected the father leads me to think they knew how she treated her sister. To me it sounds like the mom felt guilty about her first daughter losing her dad, so she let her get away with horrible behavior because she saw her as a victim. It’s important to hold kids accountable for their behavior, even when they have gone through trauma. It can never be an excuse to be a terrible person.
It's the MIL, not the mother. Tricky situation......
“Ciara” ruined her own wedding by being a massive bridezilla. No one else would have known that the blue sequined dress had been worn as a wedding dress. The rule isn’t “Don’t wear a dress worn in a wedding to someone else’s wedding “ the rule is “don’t wear white” because then you’ll look like you may be the bride. The whole situation is unnecessary and stupid.
Also this was originally a prom dress, that has repurposed a million times.
People would not see a random navy blue gown and think it was a “wedding dress” to instance the bride. The bride ruined her own wedding. SMH
I agree with those who think this was a set up and that she wanted to create a situation to try to villainize and outcast this friend. Why else would she tell everyone to wear something that so perfectly fit the description of that particular dress? Just doesn't strike me as a coincidence. She wanted to humiliate her thrifty friend and ostracize her from a shared friend group. I hope it backfired massively.
If she was so close to her beforehand, the she would’ve absolutely known OP would wear, or at least consider wearing, that same dress. Sounds like she was sabotaging on purpose.
Pretty sure Bridezilla made quite a few people think she was insane with that meltdown, as well
"Oh this old thing? I wore it to prom, isn't it lovely?" 😂
It was her prom dress originally. She couldn’t get a dress for her own wedding, why should she buy a new dress for someone else’s wedding? And it’s not even remotely close to a traditional wedding gown.
Exactly!!
Especially when the gown she has fits the dress code for the event.
Yes! Why even suggest that she maybe should buy a new dress?
Sounds like the bride had a stress induced meltdown over a random thing, tbh. I see no logic to objecting to that dress. It was appropriate for the event.
It's not a "wedding dress", but a prom dress that has been repurposed for multiple occasions. The problem is probably jealousy because you can still get into your prom dress and it still looks so good.
So, this bride KNEW that:
1. OP had the dress
2. OP tended to wear it to fancy occasions
3. the dress was dark blue and fit the theme provided
and yet, she didn't say ANYTHING beforehand? Yeah. NTA for sure.
Right and it kinda seems like bridezilla deliberately picked that color knowing OP would wear that dress.
Story 1: The mother shares some responsibility for not getting the older sister grief counseling. She lost her father which was the only nuclear family in her life. Then all the rules and dynamic changed and it's easy to see where she could have resentment and misplaced it to her baby sister. She wasn't even 10 yo when this happened. She was going through a lot in her life and it presents as if she had to navigate that on her own without any success. Who set this kid up to fail so she grew up so cold and mean to her younger siblings? Mind this doesn't excuse her actions but she clearly needed help and I wasn't seeing where she got any. yikes all around
Finally seeing someone who say this, I was thinking Im mad feeling the sister's behaviour (while being horrible) is not out of nothwere, imagine being a kid, lost your dad ,suddenly have a new family you "need" to love, and you only remaining parent's attention get diverted because new babay was born. Even full siblings can hate each other because they got treated unequally or the older sibling got ingored because younger sibling is there, why wouldn't a half sibling feel the same or even stronger? The op is not the ahole, I would balme the parents at this point, the sister needs help not hate
Honestly I feel bad for the two siblings. One was never loved by her sister and the other needed therapy and never got it. It's so horrible.
Exactly. Like, let’s look at this through a logical lens. Eldest was likely never given therapy or guided through her grief. Mom suddenly finds a new man, the man and mom do not work to gently integrate him into eldest’s life and instead leave the feeling of “This man is replacing my dad” to fester. Youngest says that mom get pregnant extremely quick, and thus it can be concluded that Eldest was likely never prepared for that reality, and thus, 2 new feelings began to fester too: “This kid will always have both their mom and their dad, while I’ll never see mine again and I can’t hate mom for replacing me and dad so I’ll hate this kid instead”, and of course “Mom’s the only parent I’ve got left but now she’s going to put all her focus on a new kid instead of me.” Those feelings were never addressed, no counseling was given so those all merged with the untreated grief and formed a ball of pure unadulterated hatred at her core. Mom never addresses any of Eldest’s feelings, just keeps playing pretend with her new family, and thus Eldest and Youngest’s relationship is what it is today. Not a shock she hates her half sibling and stepdad considering all she must’ve felt, and no one ever batted an eye.
Yeah seems like big sis needed counciling.
yeah i feel the same
If the bride hadn’t blown up about the dress, no one would have identified it as a “wedding” dress.
Exactly! How many people would have had any idea that prom type cocktail dress was actually worn as a wedding dress.
Unless the OP is leaving info out, like that the bride specifically asked her not to wear that dress or had made comments to her so OP knew she'd be upset if OP wore it, then I do not get the fuss. Sounds like a weird bridezilla thing to me, lol.
Totally agree! Was there a huge crossover in their guest lists??
Didn't she say it originally was her prom dress.So what was the issue, her friend is jealous maybe
Agreed. I'd bet money on it that most of their guests didn't go to both weddings to even know that OP wore that dress to her own wedding. I like the idea of getting a second dress to have a choice, but not because of this incident. OP didn't do anything wrong.
@@silviabarreto6969I mean, if I still fit into my prom dress that’s all I’d be wearing for the next 20 years 😂 I don’t see how it was an issue either way.
The blue sequin dress was originally her PROM dress. She didn't wear a wedding dress to her friends' wedding, she wore a prom dress to her OWN wedding.
It 'was' a prom dress at first, but the moment she used it as a wedding dress, it was considered a wedding dress thereafter.
@@cosmicnightwalk7341 nope. Not how that works. Before queen Victoria wore a white wedding dress, common folk like us wore whatever our nicest dress was, and kept wearing said dress for years after. There is NO reason wearing a prom dress as your wedding dress would mean you cannot wear it anywhere else.
It's not a traditional wedding dress, if her friend hadn't flipped, NO ONE would have known op wore that dress to her own wedding. And if you make a big deal about your friend wearing her nicest dress to your wedding (KNOWING it's one of the only formal dresses she owns) it's on YOU to tell her You're not comfortable with that. NO ONE can read your mind.
@@arose92795YES! I was about to write almost exactly the same thing mentioning Queen Victoria and dress codes.
@@arose92795 exactly!! It’s a Regency mindset, to wear your nicest clothes multiple times!
The only time I wore a new dress to a wedding was when I was a guest at a spring wedding. The bride knew I only had dark dresses. She invited me out on a shopping trip (she needed shoes, tights, earrings) and wanted to get to know me better. We go to a shop, and I spotted this really cute light blue dress. I did try it on. Ngl, it looked good! I was very shocked when this bride said, “We’re getting you that blue dress. You should have something that looks amazing on you.”
So… I have this cute, light blue dress!
The only reason the bride threw a fit is that OP must’ve looked amazing lol
My sister picked a color from a specific brand for her bridesmaids dresses. Then everyone picked a dress in that color from the store but in a style they liked. It was beautiful. Her bridesmaids were thin, slightly overweight, one was 7 months pregnant and one was pretty heavy. All of the pictures are so beautiful because everyone was comfortable and confident in the style they chose and that made each of them beautiful.
I assume your sister had a say in WHO her bridesmaids were? Or MIL pushed her spoiled brats on her?
Context makes a difference
@@morganablackwater2017 Actually she had to include our cousin much like I had to include my husband’s sister when we got married even though she was always rude to me. I chose to avoid drama for my wedding and doing the right thing, to me, was taking the high road instead of being petty. It took years to build a relationship with her and that wouldn’t have happened if I excluded her because we didn’t get along at that time. There are so many opportunities in life we can create conflict, I didn’t need to prove anything to her at my wedding. I would never ask anyone to lose weight or wear a dress they’re uncomfortable in.
@@morganablackwater2017 in general it wouldn't hurt to be nice to your husband's SISTER, even if you didn't hit it off as friends right away, you're becoming one family. So I personally would cut her some slack and let her pick what she feels comfortable in just for the sake of good future relationships. The bride likely shot herself in the foot by being petty, it's not just HER day, it's her husband's day too, and he probably wants his sister to be included.
@@ArielManxx So it might be an unpopular perspective, but this bride gives off HUGE mean girl energy. I strongly suspect Mia's "pickiness" was that she didn't want to wear a skimpy dress and all the others wanted that. Bc the bride picked something even she said was revealing as a punishment for Mia. The fact that she led with Mia being overweight definitely gives me the feeling this bride was worried that Mia would "ruin" her "aesthetic".
My best friend’s wedding was just like this! It was beautiful
No one would have batted an eye at OP’s dress until Sierra had a meltdown about it.
Congrats Bridezilla, you played yourself.
I think there is an old superstition about it being bad luck---but people used to get married in their Sunday best. I wish people would breathe and read a history book before berating their "friends."
Fafo
Exactly what I was thinking. It doesn't sound like ANYONE else at the party said anything about OPs dress. The only one who made any fuss was the bride and it wasn't just a "can you change the dress"? It was a massive blowup/freakout/screamfest.
If it was white I'd understand some feelings but OPs dress is like the most opposite from traditional wedding dress you could get and OP stated that hers wasn't even the fanciest clothing in there. Meaning other people were wearing far more detailed blue dresses than her.
@@ei5287 regular people haven’t had dedicated wedding dresses since… sometime after world war 2, I think. So if there is some common superstition, it’s new.
Agreed
Imagine being a member of the bride/groom’s extended family who didn’t know OP and you see Ciara flipping out over a sequin blue dress as a wedding dress, they’d be so confused.
14:00 she didn't buy a new dress for her own wedding, why would she spend money on someone else's?
Wow, if the evil half sister in the 1st story can find someone willing to marry her then there's hope for literally everyone.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Indeed. What a nasty person. Hope the future husband sees her for what she truly is.
Nah, we aren't all manipulators as I assume she is😂
@@sierra4766 Honestly, she sounds like a sociopath with the complete lack of any feelings of empathy.
I feel bad for the husband. I’m sure she manipulated him. He’ll find out eventually.
Did the older sister receive grief counseling? It sounds like the mother just "stuck her head in the sand" and avoided dealing with difficult issues.
This.
I was wondering this too. It feels like theres more to that story then the OP was letting on.
OP was 10 or younger when most of the story happened so she probably doesn’t know or didn’t understand what was going on with her older sister to share as context.
Irrelevant. What happened in childhood is simply where you begin. I am the first to say it sucks when adults drop the ball and set their kids up for failure but that doesn’t mean the kid gets a pass as an adult. You can CHOOSE to wallow or CHOOSE to do something about it yourself. She is now an adult. Crappy things happen to us all and it does not make this behavior excusable or permissible.
@@TheBaumcm It’s literally not irrelevant. You can FEEL like it’s irrelevant but, if its the entire reason she’s acting this way, it’s clearly not.
You can acknowledge what she’s doing is obviously wrong while not pretending what she went through isn’t important.
First story: My mom passed when I (28 f) was seven. Dad got remarried; my half siblings are 9 and 11 years apart from me. I think of them as my full siblings. I couldn’t fathom telling them I wished they weren’t here. Also, they will definitely be in my wedding because I love them and want them there to share the day. They are my family and love them no different. Also, my step mom is my mom, no question.
Question though: Did your dad put you in therapy and help you through your grief? Did he take the time to integrate your stepmom into your life in a healthy way? Were you prepared for the reality of having siblings? Because it’s looking like the mom did none of those things for the elder daughter
In the 1st story, the older sister was allowed to treat OP horribly for years. I get that the older sister was traumatized by the death of her dad, but she was allowed to act however she wanted and never got any help. I blame the mom for not getting her child the help she needed and allowing her to treat OP and OP's father horribly. Of course, it's easy for me to sit here and say, not having dealt with it before and life can be really hard. Op is not the a$$hole, and it's awesome that she stood up for herself!
I agree
It's "allowing" to a certain point, when the kids are children. But at 19, she should have known better. At her wedding, not apologizing, she should have known better. Trauma is not an excuse for abuse when it's an adult saying horrible things to a child.
Maybe it is me, but I feel like the mom neglected the older daughter by moving on and having a new husband and daughter. Maybe if OP would have been a boy it would have been different, as maybe the mom did fun stuff with OP while ignoring the sister and the sister saw how her mom treated OP better than her... if that makes sense. I feel like the mom is the root of the problem as OP cant tell how mom was to her sister while she was little and the mom feels guilty and so tolerates the disrespect.
@elefent4642 it wouldn't really change anything as she was happy when their baby brother died when he was stillborn and wishes the same thing to OP. I could never imagine wishing my brother, half brother but grew up with him ever since middle school, he's dead. My confusion and anger when I was in my teenage years is towards my parents and not him. At times yes I feel neglected since he is younger and he has autism, hes treated more carefully than me but the half sister in the story is a MONSTER. She should frikin know better than to blame another child. I hope the husband leaves her at the altar or he divorce her in less than a month cause that treatment is unacceptable
I gope he knows how she treated her sibling and potential sibling. I wouldnt have kids with her if i was him. I dont think theyd be safe. @AllyInReality
I have a grandaughter she is 8 yrs old and obsessed with Charlotte. She loves your excitement and your video edits where you add your face to everyone. Today her mom received a call from school because Miss Vivi has started yelling " HOW ARE YOU NOT EMBARRASSED" every time someone in class gets in trouble! I love it and we love you!
Kids are fun. I hope you told the teacher where she heard it, and talked her into watching our beloved Potato Queen.
Lol I love this! She sounds adorable
😂❤ that's awesome
Sounds like a great kid 😅
That is awesome! Tell her I say hi!!
My mom passed and my dad remarried a while later. I dont akways like or get along with my stepmom, but me and all my full brothers cant even fathom the idea of hating our baby half brother just because hes our stepmoms kid. Its so heartbreaking to see people treat their halfsiblings like this, or just any kid who isnt a full sibling, no matter how much they hate the parwnts in question
Story 1: (NTA) Don't go to a wedding where the bride or groom wants you dead. The half-sister needs therapy for her jealousy and anger issues. One day someone's going to call the half-sister out for her being the only reason she's miserable and her relationships with family suck.
Agree, but... I would love to hear the other side, she semms so evil and op so angelic that it just does not semms natural... There is things OP is delibarated not telling! Why a kid, a 9 years old kid has such anger inside her and mom doesn't take her for therapy? Why is a person in a rage fit for a decade and no one thought... hmmm maybe there is a reason, I wonder why? Not OP responsability, but the mother doesn't semms to care about the situation... I don't know, I just learned that when someone is SO EVIL to somebody, usually there is a reason, a good one? not always, but a reason.
@@Ariellympclearly the mom doesn’t see her children as people, which means she probably never helped the “sister” deal with her grief in any way shape or form, which means it morphed into something monstrous
Ok so my husband has a similar situation but his oldest brother never wished his siblings were dead/never born. Just their dad is a narcissist a**hole and he will never accept him as a father. This "sister" needs therapy and that would be my wedding gift lol. Invite the therapist to go with or in her stead lol. The mom and dad didn't lay down boundaries. It's ok to be angry but seriously WTF. Hopefully the fiance sees her for what she is before they have kids. GTFO now
OP's mother is clearly narcissistic and sister is the golden child with anger management issues, who wants to rub the fact that she's getting married in OP's face, hence the insistence that OP be invited. This explains the way OP's mother and sister treat her
@@debbiie_moreira I'm sorry, but where did you get golden child? OP didn't mention anything about the differences in the way her and her half sister were treated by their parents. Neither was there mention of 'rubbing it in her face.' Seems HS is trying to save face.
13:34 Ok, here me out. Given that the bride had a lot of insults up her sleeve, it makes me think that she had secret beef with OP to begin with, KNEW that OP always wore THAT dress at events and chose the dark blue theme for her own wedding on purpose, to have a reason to blow up.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
edit: 16:08 ooohhh I see I'm not the only one who's twisted enough to think that's what happened 🤭
The bride was absolutely using OP to release the anxiety over the wedding. She wore a simple but elegant dress, on theme, which she happened to wear to her wedding but was in no way a wedding dress. I don’t like Charlotte’s take that she should’ve bought a different dress.
I had that exaxt thought that the blue theme was chosen purposely to test OP. People are weird
Remember everyone don’t make excuses for people when they treat you bad. When i discussed with my mom about kid bullying me in middle school,i said “yeah but they were all child” my mom said “you where a child too”
I don't think the problem is with the "Wedding Dress". I think it is more that the dress was orginally her Prom Dress and she can still fit into it.
Interesting take.
Sounds like a hater
That ... earned you a sharp look of appreciation over a coffee cup. This is why men of my generation had lawns and lawn mowers: there are far safer places to be than in a kitchen where the truth is being told. Cheers.
Yes, soo much jealousy 😅
@@intercat4907 that is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard 😂😂
The blue dress situation feels like a setup. The bride knew her friend wore that one blue dress to her own wedding and multiple other occasions. Then the bride makes her wedding color blue and asks people to wear blue. Then freaks out when you wear the blue dress. She should have foreseen this if it was such a big issue to her.
My question is, why did she do all that? It's a codswallop of an idea to humiliate a friend like that.
@@audreym3908 I just don't really see how the situation can be anything but intentional and still make sense. Unless the bride was upset about something else and OP was the first scapegoat she found.
I wore a blue sequin dress to a really elaborate wedding. It was the right choice. But it had a long church ceremony and sitting on a wooden pew makes sequins hurt your butt.
The mom is an idiot.
But she would have to be crazy to do that. For what? There is no point. She is getting married, doesn't she have enough to do and think about without obsessing about some friend who wears the same dress everywhere? Why would she care and what would she gain by this setup? She looked like a lunatic anyway, and if it was a setup I think this person has serious problems.
I stood up to several weddings and wore whatever the bride chose. I looked like a dried flower garden (my hippy sisters wedding) Pepto Bismol (a friends wedding) and an old world puritan (A cousins wedding). I smiled, ate, danced and drank and just enjoyed the party. Knowing I can always throw away the pictures I chose to not make a scene. It’s only one night and all three ladies are still my besties
😂😂😂I love how you hate all the styles of your friends you love. It’s actually wholesome
I must say I lucked out with my maid of honor dress. It's a emerald green, long gown that's a perfect base for many later costumes I've made and wear it pretty often.
Also a plus is it never needed alterations which is not normal I found out later.
But ya, I'm with you, even if I hated the dress I would put on a smile cause it's just a dress and not a big deal.
If someone has issues about there body.... I'm sorry but that is your problem and shouldn't make others bend to your issues you can't be bothered to work on. It's not the world's problem ya know. I think too many think the world owes them things that just aren't owed or deserved.
If that makes me a ah, then oh well, guess I am lol.
What is going unsaid in that video that I think is probably going on is that the bride and other bridesmaids wanted more revealing dresses and for whatever reason (her weight, her personal beliefs, etc) Mia wasn't comfortable with that. If the bride's "gotcha" was intentionally picking out something revealing, that's my assumption. If the bride didn't want Mia there, she needed to just shut it down at the beginning instead of just being spiteful about it. All this did was causing the bride a bigger headache, make Mia and by extension her family even more upset, and waste a lot of time.
It wasn’t a wedding dress; it was originally her prom dress!
exactly! so it's not even its first purpose, it's not like she tried to symbolically wear it ONLY to her own wedding and then to her friend's wedding. she wore the hell out of it
@@olechkaagapova Honestly, it's definitely time to retire that dress from the sounds of it - seems like it's getting to the point where it's just getting tacky. My prom dress could pass for a fancy dress for many occasions, not just something that looked strictly like a prom dress...so I get it. Still, dresses like that get pulled out for particular occasions...not worn EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. something remotely fancy comes up.
But agree, definitely shouldn't have caused all that fuss though since it's clear OP doesn't have weird intentions around it and it's just a dress she likes to rewear anytime the word 'fancy' flutters around an event. NTA, but still a little consideration should've been had to ask the Bride since it was used as a wedding dress and could possibly toe the line of appropriate. Tbh, I would be irked myself if someone had, say, an nontraditional black wedding dress and rewore it on my wedding day. It's not just about the color and getting mistaken for the bride, but it feels a little like a symbolic "F you" to the bride to be wearing something that was used as a wedding dress and not even being asked if it was appropriate. If you asked, Yeah I'd allow the black dress, but if you didn't - I would side eye you all night and wonder if you were trying to make some weird statement against me.
@@kiraeckard7625 That's kind of weird. From the picture, it looks like a nice, high quality, simple dress that could be worn to multiple events and wasn't so flashy as to attract too much attention. It really wasn't even something that would go out of fashion very quickly, because it's so simple it could easily be modernized with accessories. In what way is wearing it a symbolic F U? Especially when it's been worn to multiple events. Just seems like a weird attitude to hold.
@@kiraeckard7625 so to please people like you, rational people need to waste money?
@piyusarkar3065 this. I still have my "prom" (Australian so we don't have prom but have a kind of equivalent) dress and it was a 300 dollar dress at the time, which was a while ago so it would be more now. It was from a small country store that made a lot of their own clothing, so it is actually unique, has a lot ofnhand stitching, really good quality and because it was a very basic shape...yeah, I can still wear it x amount of years later that I am FURIOUS is the number (15....15 years ago....gag). I think it is more tacky to count how often someone wears an outfit rather than reusing an outfit.
The reaction to the blue dress was insane. It's what we called a cocktail dress in the old days. It's just fancy and she acted like a Bridezilla!!! It doesn't matter if she wore it as her own wedding dress. I never bought into the need for more than one fancy dress. I didn't even get one for my wedding. Money can be better spent elsewhere! NOT the A*Hole!!!!
Rule #1 about bridesmaids that everyone needs to accept: The bridesmaids are picked by the bride and no one else. Guilting someone into making anyone a bridesmaid is underhanded and extremely disrespectful to the bride and those the bride has already chosen to be bridesmaids. Mia had no right to pressure MIL and MIL had no right to just announce that Mia was going to be a bridesmaid without clearing it with the bride. I had several people I wish I could've had in my bridal party but we didn't have the funds or space to provide for them, so I had to choose only a few and it was hard. Someone else declaring that so-and-so is going to be a bridesmaid is just downright rude.
I feel like Sierra has been harboring feelings for a while. She knew it was what you wore for your wedding, and picked the color theme of dark blue. I think she knew you’d wear that dress and set up the scenario
And unless OP chose not to mention it, she was never told, “Hey, don’t wear your one dress you wear everywhere please.” That shouldn’t have been brought up on the wedding day; it should’ve been way before that.
good point. I still think it's jealousy
I think you’re spot on!
I have a "half" sister.I am 62 now,but back in the sixties my mother remarried to my father.There is a 13 yr. difference between my sister and I.She couldn't have been more of a sister to me.She included me in things she did,and never made me feel like I was in the way.She is my SISTER, none of that half nonsense. We are so close to this day,and I couldn't love her more.This woman needs to grow up.❤my dear sister!
This make my heart sing and makes me happy for you and your sister! My biological sister treats me like I poisoned her, and has since the day I was brought home from the hospital. I’m now 64, she’s almost 70 and still acting like a witch.
I come from a large blended family and there was never any of this half/adopted (I was the adopted one) stuff. We were all just brothers and sisters.
My sister and I are also half sisters. Our age gap is only 3 years, but she is my best friend. I've never viewed her as anything but and I get upset when people say "well half siblings don't count." I couldn't ask for a better sister
I have have a very blended family. I grew up with my two sisters and brother, and even though I only actually have one biological sister l, my other siblings are just as much my sibling as her. I also have two step sisters from my dad’s side which I’m not as close too, but are just as much family. I couldn’t imagine this level of hatred to a sibling.
It’s not at all uncommon to have a family member you want to include in the wedding in an official capacity but one that doesn’t “fit” as a bridesmaid or usher.
A friend solved this problem (she and hubby had lots of siblings and friends) by having official “greeters” at the wedding and reception.
It was lovely. They got to wear whatever they wanted but each got a matching corsage or boutonnière AND a name tag that identified them as greeters.
The name tags had their name and, in smaller print, their title (friend of groom, sister in law of bride, etc.).
I thought it was a great way to make them all feel included yet keep the cost of the wedding party down.
They were also very helpful during the event by helping the older folks with seating, handing out wedding trinkets, getting folks out on the dance floor, supervising a few kiddos, and even acting as cocktail waiters and waitresses for the older folks as it was open bar.
I have heard the second story before, and every time I agree with the comment section: Ciera has a problem with OP, and used the dress as a way into drama. It backfired though because the dress look like the one my mom uses at formal work functions. It doesn't look like a wedding dress, at most (if you squint) it resembles a MoH or MotB dress.
I probably need another cup of coffee, as I accidentally read it as ‘funeral work functions’ instead of formal work functions 😂
@@fabiennevdk7045same here I read funeral and was super confused
OP wasn’t going around telling people that the dress she was wearing is the same dress she got married in, so she’s NTA. Up until Sierra started throwing her little hissy fit, no one else at the wedding knew OP was wearing her wedding dress other than OP, OP’s husband, and Sierra.
I think there where some mutual friends, but nobody had a problem with it, because it's not a white dress and they most likely know that OP couldn't afford a new dress. Honestly I like frugality, I like to save money to spend it for things that are more important to me.
The way she avoids saying the inappropriate/"spicy" words by replacing them with weird noises or saying "giggetty"/"giggiddy"(?) Has me cracking up everytime 🤣
No matter how many times I watch it , "All rise for the honorable Judge Charlotte" never fails to make me laugh . 😅
Part 2
ruclips.net/video/UOYcHxpijqc/видео.html
@@krystalmorris-fw7kc Why post a fake link?
Same.
Me too 😂
Saammmee! It's like my favorite part of every video . 😅
Mom in first story was complicit in letting older daughter emotionally abuse younger daughter. Shame on her.
Second story about the wedding dress--Why not find a friend that can sew and change up the dress style a little bit. Maybe some sheer navy chiffon and drape as a second sleeve and a chiffon gathered belt. Wouldn't cost much and it would look new. I love the dress and don't want to ruin it.
I have three "half" brothers and they are everything to me. I was part of their education, I almost raised them.... I'd never... EVER think of them of being half anything... We shared the same womb! My dad and their dads weren't the best thing ever, our mother is a bit ”teenagery"...we share a bond stronger than blood!
Part 2
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Absolutely. I have 14 siblings all adopted. I couldn’t imagine saying, “you’re not my family because you’re not really my full brother/sister.” Like, what a MONSTER!!!!
💯
Good for you a lot of people who had a parent die and then the other parent move on start a new family would make another person feel left out and bitter
I can see it
@@erikarussell1142 no but did you have your father die and then have your mom move on and have babies?
That’s where the problem is
She has never gotten over her father dying
I was really glad to see the comment about the bridesmaid that altered the dress. My best friend got married and chose a revealing dress. I am very busty and did not want to upstage the bride. I approached her and her mom, privately, with my suggestion about adding some lace to make the bust line less revealing, and they were both on board, especially when they saw the dress on me. I felt comfortable, the bride got what she wanted, everyone was happy.
Oh I did that! My sister and I are built very differently (she's tall and slim, I'm short and curvy) so when we were our stepmum's bridesmaids we all went into the dress shops convinced that we'd be going the "same colour, different styles" route. And then we found the perfect dress: form-fitting, knee-length, lace and beading. It just sat so nicely on each of us - except I was spilling out a bit. All I did was stitch some of the wide ribbon from the cake (decorating the cake was my job) into the neckline and it kept the girls from escaping. You'd never be able to tell the difference
Love that for you guys. A reasonable solution done so respectfully.
One of my bridesmaids wanted more coverage for her dress so i was like yeah whatever makes you comfy lol 😆 they all had the same dress. Including my pregnant sister but all looked amazing ❤
I wore my wedding dress to my sister wedding last month. It's an emerald green in colour. No one cared. I think they didn't even realised that I wore my wedding dress.
That’s because your sister wasn’t trying to set you up 😭😭😭this girl was fully trying to set her friend up in my opinion why ask someone you know has no fancy outfits to a wedding and expect them to not wear the only fancy outfit they own it makes no sense otherwise 😂
I never want to get married (or een date) but I always thought acool wedding theme would be EVERYONE wearing white (Bride and groom with an accent pop of color) and then do a cool color-run type eent where everyone gets splattered with color and ends up with a super unique and fun outfit. Some cool slow-mo photography and stuff would make it so fun.
@@Palitato I love that idea! That’d be sooo fun!
I love when brides wear untraditional colored dresses! Emerald green sounds gorgeous! I bet you looked stunning! 🫶
Yea no! I would’ve had you sent home from inception…. No argument required
First story: The OP should agree to go to the wedding, then privately whisper to the sister, "sure, I'll come and socialize with EVERYONE at the wedding. Don't worry, I'll be 100% honest about our relationship with anyone who asks..." then, deny saying it to the mother. Have sister spend her entire wedding worried about what OP is saying to people, making a point to speak to the groom's family - "yeah, I was really surprised I got invited. She once told me that our mother should have aborted me, so I can't believe she wanted me here." I am more than petty enough to wreck nasty sister's wedding day without doing anything that other people might question.
I think we've found our petty queen!🙌🏻
Lol. A fun revenge fantasy for sure 😅
There's the danger of people taking you for the 'psycho' and 'drama queen' though and the whole thing backfiring. Maybe she should have just 'threatened' the sister and then been very sweet to everyone. Would still have ruined the brides day 😅
I like it, though I wouldn't actually say anything to anyone. Just make sure to talk to as many people as possible, all the while giving sideways glances at the sister making her THINK you're talking trash about her.
Ooo …. I love it! 🙌🏻
yeah i thought she should have gone and made a speech at dinner time about their relationship.
16:02 if they're friends and OP has worn that dress to other events after her wedding, the friend knew FOR SURE that she would wear that dress. And I'd bet my bottom dollar that the friend has SEEN OP in that dress outside of her wedding.
The last one: as much as the bride wasn't exactly an angel, I don't feel that you can complain if you are a bridesmaid and someone else is paying for your dress. I've been a bridesmaid quite a few times, and I've worn colours I hate, styles that didn't suit me, materials I didn't like. But how many times have I complained? None. Zero. Never. Because it isn't my day. So long as the bride is happy, I couldn't care less what I look like (as long as it covers me and I won't flash everyone, obviously...). As a bridesmaid, the clue is in the name - it's your job to look after the bride. Don't like it? Don't be a bridesmaid. Simple. Because it's not about you, it's about the couple getting married getting the day they want.
No. The first thing she mentioned was the fact that the girl was fat, and that she DELIBERATELY chose a style which would make her want to drop out. Everything after that was excuses to try to convince herself, and us, that she was NTA.
@@dajtoad1 No. Just no. Firstly, Mia forced her way into the bridal party. Despite not being close to the bride, she complained enough that the family thought she would be "sad" if she wasn't asked and so they asked the bride to accommodate her - and she did, which was kind. If the bride had a major issue with her weight, she would have said no. Mia then tried to hijack the dresses and expected the bride to buy something for all the girls that suited *her* body shape, but not that of any of the bride's *actual* friends. The bride seemed to only mention Mia's weight (it was not accompanied by slurs, etc) because it is the reason why there wasn't a style that suited every bridesmaid. The bride didn't force Mia to do anything - she was given an option that would have accommodated her *and* everyone else, so that *everyone* was comfortable, and she chose against that. So, if she's not concerned about the comfort of anyone else on the day, why should she receive that courtesy?
She's literally complaining over a free dress because it isn't her personal choice and weaponising her weight in a bid to get her own way. Everything about the story screams that this girl is not used to people saying no to her, but IS used to everyone doing what she wants. Absolutely not! Not her wedding, not her day...
So, I reiterate my original statement on the matter. If you want to be in the bridal party, you suck it up and be uncomfortable because, so long as the bride is happy, then that's all you should be concerned about. I've done it, and every woman has body insecurities - why does she get a pass? If you really can't do it, then you talk to the bride and drop out to remove yourself from the situation. You don't attack the bride in an effort to get your own way.
When you're a bridesmaid: It. Is. Not. Your. Day.
(And that is applicable for people of ALL weight categories)
I grew up with a sibling who would LITERALLY tell me to "just go die fatty" ALL THE FKING TIME. One time, she said it in front of our aunt while we were out at breakfast, and she was publicly shamed by auntie for it. It made her say it somewhat less, but it wasn't until the day I literally screamed at mom for never once speaking up for me when she says that and how absolute sh1t she was for saying things like that, and from then on it started to change.
In our case, she's my YOUNGER sister and she did that because she was really emotionally fkd at the time. She needed therapy and some help, but eventually we all worked out sh1t out and she's a normal decent human now. That was prior to her really growing up - if you're still absolutely sh1tty to people after you finish growing, and you don't even acknowledge any of how awful you are to others, YTA. :'D The OP absolutely was doing right by refusing any attendance in that half-sibling's life. I'd go non-con with her too!
Your story is the main point here. Mom should’ve addressed this when her daughter was still young and pliable rather than older and more set in her personality. Unless something truly shocks that sister enough for her to do some self reflection, this is who she is now
my younger sister and I's dynamic LOL.
Yeah she openly hates me and says it all the time, Mom just says "She doesn't Realllly mean it."
Yes mom. she DOES mean it.
Dad finds my younger sister's bullying as funny. He often supports her haha.
@@xoxablade8345 that's horrible and parents should be ashame of themselves
@@xoxablade8345 that's horrible. EVEN if she, somewhere deep in hear heart, didn't mean it. That wouldn't change the fact that she is hurting you now. Who gives a shit about years in the future. You are living your life now. And I am sorry that your parents are blind and lazy about doing anything about it!
My older sister hates me ....she always acted like she can't stand me at all we are both adults 15 years older then me..when my mom passed sister got bad she would gaslight me and say evil things to me she broke my confidence down made my depression worse ...I'm also disabled..one day she was gonna take me to grocery store but got mad and didn't take me reason she was mad she wanted me to get a disney credit card and give it to her so her and boyfriend and kids have a good time. I'm not stupid I told her no she had a fit threatening me to leave me on other side of town to walk home over 20+miles ..she took me home without speaking drop me off I was stuck without food for 3 days and cried my eyes out she ask for 500.00 i told her i cant thats my rent money...also money my mom and i saved for moms cremation once mom passed we all went to funeral home i paid for everything using that money we saved sister saw and made comment like she did not know i had that on me i know she was refering shopping money that's how she is she gaslighting me by telling me im crazy I need to be put in mental hospital I was feeling stomach sick im not crazy ..she ask me to ask my doctor for pain pills i told her no im not in pain she said she likes feeling numb when she takes them ..i thought shes crazy i aint asking my doctor for no pain pills.......the day mom went to heaven sister also told me she hopes my mom didn't spend her last 2 breaths thinking about me..them words broke me down bad...me and mom took care of each other family turned their backs on us when we were homeless...mom had cancer I took care of mom like my took care of me we were there for each other always😊...sister always act like she hates me for no reason at all she always said mean things to mom too I have a letter she wrote she had notarize full of lies trying to get us in trouble with a government office ...she lies alot makes stuff up saying she has brain tumors and all at my dads funeral then few months later I bring it up she swears she don't know what I'm talking about 🤦 she uses the deaths of mom and dad to get sympathy on Facebook all the time anything she can to use others I hate all her lies I hope one day she wakes up and sees what she's doing is hurtful to everyone..sending love to all those that been through stuff hopefully things be better ❤️❤️❤️
Also, regarding the last story: I HATED the color my sister chose for her bridal party. My mom knew I was nervous about it (she chose a beige/champagne color, and I really don’t look good in that,) and so when I was trying on the color she wanted, my mom kept saying “see, I don’t think it looks that bad… what do you think.?” I just said “it’s not my wedding.” Of course I had opinions about the color, but my sister is a basic beige white girl and it was HER day, so my opinions didn’t matter. I was her MoH for HER, not the dress.
I’m engaged now, and (she doesn’t know this yet,) she’s gonna be wearing black for my wedding. We’re total opposites, but I know she’ll wear whatever dress I choose too. ❤
ohhhh please share how that goes and congratulations! I don't have sisters so it's been really interesting for me to see the dynamic with my husband's two sisters. My ex only had brothers.
The first story is so heartbreaking. I can't imagine what that poor girl went through emotionally. The things her older sister said to her as a very young child, when they lost her little brother, all if it, is emotionally damaging. Good for her setting that boundary. That she had to set when she was only 10!
The first story is fake. It's been around for a while and another version of it, the father never died, the parents were split up.
@thedevilspyromaniac2712 wow I hate that it's being amplified 😬
I unfortunately can understand what that's like. Now it wasn't my sibling but my own mother. My own mother tried to kill me multiple times while saying it was my fault. She said I should've never been born, that I was a mistake and I was imperfect. For contexts I was born sick (like to the point where I'm bedridden). ANyway, she would also not feed me for a few days. Thankfully my dad found out what was happening and I live with him now. No, I was not a r@p3 baby. In fact I was planned. But people like them exist in this world. I have dealt with it all my life. And I told you the tame stuff.
I feel bad for OP in the 1st story that her mother can not see how horrible her half sister treated her.😢
Part 2
ruclips.net/video/UOYcHxpijqc/видео.html
Yeah that truly broke my heart
@@krystalmorris-fw7kc that’s part two of that’s story?
No, it's not! It's a bear video lol
if a link doesn't have a bunch of upvotes.....don't risk clicking it. If it actually went with the story people would have hit like. Don't catch a virus from some shady link.
I told my bridesmaids to wear something nice.
They are the ones that coordinated the colors themselves! My wedding dress was antique white and they arranged their colors from cream to Snow White and I was fine with it because what people wear is not as who I was marrying!
The first story. - the mother is deluded if she thinks they're going to now have a "relationship". Sister needs her to be a prop to keep from looking like the a-hole she is.
that first story is so hearbreaking. The half sister bride needs some SERIOUS therapy. Clearly losing her father was traumatic for her. Never ever an excuse to treat people so horribly, especially your own blood. I have a half brother who is 23 years younger than me, and I have had to deal with the fact that my mother started a whole new family with a new man after my sister and I moved out and started our own lives. Its tough because now when I need her, her priority is my brother. But i would never treat him like any of it is his fault. My only real qualm is the fact my sister and I begged for a brother our whole childhood and she finally gave us one when we were adults lol. Pro? My kids have a best friend/uncle close to their age lol
That sounds like a bit of a complex situation but I'm glad that your kids and bro are close in age and that your mom focused on you and your sister beforehand.
I always wanted a sister since i have three brothers. My mom had my sister when I was 21 and she is 6 months younger than my son.
@@audreym3908 it certainly was, but I am happy my mom found her own happiness. My dad was not a good one. She had her own traumas and I think it was her dream to have that mom and dad family unit that my sister and I lacked. Now my step dad is an odd duck, but he is good to my mom, my sister, brother, and myself so I have no complaints about him. We just dont have a close relationship like we may have had if my mom married him when I was younger.
I had blood siblings that treated me as if we had separate parents. And like OP mom did nothing. But as I got older the tables turned. Now they come to me for support, etc. It took some time and distancing myself from them to forgive them. Our relationship is much better. My sister even apologized for her behavior when we were young.
Honestly, I'm planning on repurposing my wedding dress, dyeing and altering it into something I can actually wear. Ciara is TA not OP.
I did this when I got pregnant! I dyed my wedding dress (it was quite simple) and wore it to my baby shower :) It was lovely
After my divorce I dyed my wedding dress black and wore it for a costume party where I was supposed to play an evil queen-type character. It looked pretty great and now I have it for other costume/Halloween/spooky events.
I was the oldest child of my mom. All my siblings are “half siblings” and I just consider them my siblings, not half anything. I could never imagine treating them this way!
Same I didn't realize my younger 2 sisters(they have their own dads and us oldest 2 have 1 dad) didn't realize I had half siblings till a friend explained their half siblings. I had only thought it was a term for siblings via dad but not mom. 😂
Same here.
Same. My mom has 8 kids, the oldest 3 share a dad the next 4 share a dad and the youngest has his own dad but our dads treat us all equally and last I checked I don’t have half siblings just an evil stepmother and a wicked stepsister but the stepsisters son is my nephew 😅
Same here. I’ve always just treated my half sisters like normal siblings. I don’t even call them half sisters, they’re half my blood so that makes them as much family as any cousin or other family.
Same, I have two older siblings with a different dad. They aren't half of anything. They're my siblings and I'd take a bullet for them, and them for me. This isn't just an assumption on my part either. We have had discussions about our different dads and those discussions have only made us stronger together. I get not blending families and the struggles of being a child whose parent has died while the other seemingly moved on. However your siblings are innocent.
13:50 No, I’m sorry. There is no valid criticism to be said against her. It doesn’t matter what she used this dress for before. It is a dark blue dress. She can wear it to a wedding period
I couldn’t have cared less what anyone wore to my wedding. My groom and I were so focused on enjoying each other, the day and seeing everyone and it was such a great day that 27 years later, people still say it was one of the happiest weddings they’ve been to.
My wedding dress was a sequined dark blue gown and told my attendants to get themselves a party dress that they would wear again. I was wearing sparkles and so should they.
Love this! So fun!
Thanks!
Jumping to conclusions is great exercise 😂 As for the blue wedding/fancy dress 👗 since you have worn it several times, other people will have seen you wear it. Those people should not confuse you with the bride. Rock that blue dress 🎉
The way I see it is, if you don't know who the bride and groom are, you shouldn't be at that wedding!
Even if not, the bride most likely wore a typical white or white-ish wedding dress. How would anyone confuse her with the bride? Everyone who has been on OP's wedding (and therefore knows that it was her wedding dress) obviously knows that she is not the bride as she is already married ;)
For the last story, I have something to say! I'm very overweight myself and was placed as a bridesmaid for my cousin's wedding, the demand was to choose a green from the ones the couple had already selected and pick a dress from it. The bride herself told me I could opt for a suit (all black, white shirt and green bowtie) if I felt more comfortable. I did try to find something that would look good, but the bigger you are, the uglier clothes get, I did drop 12cm on my waistline for the event (I wanted to, nobody asked me for it) but my shoulders are huge (larger than my hips) and there was still nothing good enough, so I ended up wearing a suit.
It's just the SIL wanting to be difficult, she had so many options and still chose to be difficult about the whole thing. Sure, the bride was fatshaming there a bit, but I'm guessing SIL tends to make her weight everyone's problem.
There can be many things that make you not look your best for a day. Not all dress styles suit all women. But if you love your friend who is getting married, you shrug and look less than great for a day just for her. Thing here was that the girl wasn't some close friend of the brides so she wasn't going to just sacrifice for a day in a far less than amazing dress. I have lots of sisters and have got stuck in some AMAZINGLY ugly dresses. You give it up for the bride because her day. Can she really NOT wear the dress, or would she simply not look good in it? Because it sounded like the later and that's no excuse for a bridesmaid.
@@charlotteinnocent8752 As a bigger girl recovered from an ED, my upper arms are a trigger point for me. A strapless dress mini with a slit is my absolute nightmare. I've been bridesmaid shopping, and the dresses are not kind - it's either skinny straps, strapless or matronly sleeves a young woman isn't into. It can be a genuine struggle and when you know there will be a lot of photos, you want to feel good. It's not like an ugly colour or a bow. That said, my friends have always gone collection and I have always found something that makes me happy! OP just didn't want her in there. And she found a way.
@@charlotteinnocent8752 The story is told by the bride, so I'm inclined to bias towards the SIL... This bride and her skinny friends purposely choosing styles that don't work on bigger SIL is passive aggressive behavior, like "you are not welcome here" said with clothes. The bride admitted so herself in the post, she ultimately picked something she knew would not suit her fat FIL on purpose, so she would drop out. And then tried to gaslight her saying she was feeling excluded for no reason. IF the bride had said she genuinely tried to pick something that would suit EVERYONE, then I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, that the SIL WAS being difficult... But this feels like it was literally set up so the fat person self-excluded. Like something super revealing, that even if she DID choose to wear the imposed dress, she would then be told she ruined the photos or something because she didn't look "appropriate" in the dress. I don't think it's about SIL's vanity, her discomfort is 100% by design from the bride's will to exclude her from her wedding party.
@@katymaloney Look what Lizzo wears on stage. The young lady can wear ANYTHING she really puts her mind to. But is the bride an ahole? Certainly. She has sabotaged her future relationship with her SIL. She should have said straight up to her SO's family, "I am sure I will love my SIL when I get to know her but my wedding party is my great friends I have had all my life. I just don't know SIL enough yet."
My comment was not excuses the bride, it was about how I feel this SIL needs to NOT let the dress be the thing that stops her.
Brides NEVER chose a dress that "suits everyone". They chose the one they like and the bridesmaids like it or lunk it. That's how it goes for the whole wedding.
Is the bride a bit of a B? Definitely. But if I were SIL I'd wear the dress to throw it in her face. Also, I would be annoyed at my family for pushing me into a wedding party like that. They also are a holes because they have put her in so many awkward situations. She is the odd one out not because of her weight but because she is a stranger. Lots of a holes here really.
@@turnoffthetv I know its hard but you have to not let things hold you back in life. The people who care about you don't care about your arms. In fact, you'd be shocked how few people care about the arms. Look at Lizzo on stage and remember that your body is amazing and just because it's not the same as other peoples doesn't mean you have to hide it away. I know its easy for someone to just say that but if you keep telling yourself that eventually it will get down to the subconscious. Maybe even a little therapy might help. Hugs to you, don't let ANYTHING stop you.
Was a MOH in my friend's wedding with two other friends (bride's maids aren't really a thing here, so she had three maids of honor/best man) and her request when it came to dresses was "if you find anything purple, that would be awesome, but just choose dresses/shirts you feel good in". The other girl and I found really pretty, purple dresses and the third friend found a purple shirt and tie combo. Wedding pictures look great and everyone was happy, despite not making a fuss out of every little detail
Mom in the first story should have gotten the 1st dayghter grief counseling. No way she didn't know about her older daughter's behavior.
Irrelevant. Daughter could’ve gotten her own at this point. She hasn’t contacted OP or even apologized so that goes to her choices in how to behave as an adult. She is choosing to continue this behavior now.
@@TheBaumcmnot really irrelevant since this could have been helped when she was a little girl.
@@TheBaumcm Man how many times are you gonna post the same comment over and over again?
19:33 You missed the part where OP said that the girl herself was insecure about her weight. OP didn't say she had a problem with the girl's weight only that the girl kept rejecting things because SHE was insecure about her own weight and kept rejecting anything that everyone else wanted because she wouldn't be comfortable in it.
This. As someone who was insecure about my body for years, that was solely my problem and not for others to accommodate. I had to work on my own issues and not expect everyone to cater to me.
That was my read too. Not that OP didn't like that the bridesmaid was overweight, just that this was the underlying reason for bridesmaid being difficult.
As a side note, I have reasons that I don't wear revealing outfits too, and if I was a bridesmaid but everyone else -- especially the bride -- wanted dresses I wasn't comfortable in I would voluntarily drop out so that I wouldn't cause problems for the bride.
At first that's what I thought too. But then OP stated that she doesn't get along with her soon to be SIL or like her. She purposely choose dresses that wouldn't look good on SIL in hopes of getting her to drop out of the wedding party. I agree with Charlotte that both were jerks in this situation and both could have handled it better.
@@dragonfliesnh4204 That didn't happen until near the end of the dress shopping experience. After she turned down so many dresses that they were all getting frustrated. So when the girl chose to let the bride choose at the end of all that drama, THAT is when the bride decided to ef it and pick something that would make her drop out. Given all the difficulties that were also outside of the dress shopping, I don't blame her. But I would have just told her she can step down at that point rather than do what she did.
That's why it was horrible. I agree her insecurities is a "her problem". HOWEVER, with that said....the intent was the bride-to-be KNEW this as a weakness and intentionally used it against her. A friend would be better to say "I don't want you in my bridesmaid party. I want you there but my bridesmaids are picked from quality time I had with people who help me be who I am today. Stood by me through thick and thin & are in my closest inner circle. I love you just not at that level." That would have had more respect and get the emotional hurt out of the way than to weaponize the girl's insecurity. Anyone else would be called a narcissist for it.
me and my half sister have had our arguments and name calling but at the end of the day we always will love each other. idk how people can be so cruel
I've had two weddings now and for both of them I told my bridesmaids they can pick what style dress they feel comfortable in and only gave them a color and length requirement. Especially at my most recent wedding my ladies looked absolutely beautiful and all unique and I loved it.
This is basically what I did as well. I picked the color and asked them to get the same length but the style could be different if they so chose. I couldn't afford to pay for their dresses and even if I could I didn't care about being completely matchy matchy anyways. Everyone looked great!
When I got married, I had a dress that was just at kneelength and one of my bridesmaids told me later that she would not have picked it, but she did it for me out of respect my choices and my color palette. That’s how it should be and if it really wasn’t issue, she could’ve communicated, or like one person suggested bought her own damn dress
4:00 Found the problem. Op and her father aren't a sort of "second family", they're a reminder that her father is dead and her family is gone.
Really feels like the mother was at least emotionally absent. I'd also like to note that she only got "remarried" when the sister was 8. Could very well be the mother took a year for her grieve and then kept moving on telling her daughter it's good because she'll have a new family.
The MIL is the absolute a-hole in that last one; who DOES that (publicly announce that someone will be a bridesmaid, without checking with the bride first)?
As a fellow Fat girl, I'm kinda reading the opposite as Charlotte. I have a feeling that the added bridesmaid tends to use the Fat Card to try and get special treatment and that's why she was being difficult. I have been in a few wedding parties where either I'm the biggest or one of the biggest girls. Two of them we all wore the same dress style, and the others we wore coordinating dresses. In all of the weddings we all looked fabulous! NTA, but a bit petty lol
Yeah, petty but not in the AH territory at all. If I remember correctly Mark Narrations went over this story and shooooott was her MIL and SIL manipulative af. It just happens that SIL being fact was one of the highlights by how hilariously difficult she made an event not about her, about her due to her 'condition'.
That is a very good point, you might very well be right in that. The thing about battling discrimination is that for some time, it actually turns around and the other side might be discriminated because they are afraid of being labelled as racist, xenophobic, sexist, homophobic etc. We end up walking on egg-shells around ppl from various minorities and we are sometimes more accommodating to them than we would be to anyone else. Because unfortunately there are some people, thankfully not many, but still there are, who know this and use it as a weapon to get special treatment. Or perhaps they truly believe they are getting discriminated against any time things don't go their way.
I am fat to and fat is not the brides problem. The bride just pointed out it was mentioned that the grooms sister was fat and self conscious about it. Sorta a dickish move going after someone insecurities, but it seems like , Mia was it, made it ok by being difficult. Obviously her family doesn't tell her no and how to be civil. Bride was petty but not an AH. AH move was forcing your way into being bridal party then trying to get the dress to be what they wanted.
I feel like she could have not mentioned she was fat and the story would have been less complicated
@@1g5efj7t Unfortunately, it was pretty relevant to the story as that added one of the excuses to how she should be 'treated better'. It is just fucced
I just found your channel the other day and youre easily my new favourite, Love the content dude!
just my two cents...when my husband and I got married 37 years ago, I would not have cared if our friends all dressed like canaries! I just wanted them there to share our joy. Shouldn't that what a wedding should be about?
The voice of reason.
Charlotte, little kids don't have the maturity to understand rejection, especially from a usual source of affection. Every book, move, story, etc. is filled with sibling love and the natural love they have for each other. It would confuse kids until someone makes it as clear as wanting them dead. That poor 10 year old girl. No matter what age she is, it's going to live in her mind forever.
Plus when you're a kid all the tension you pick up on, you tend to assume it's your fault, that you did something wrong and if you can just fix it and get it right everything will be fine. You don't expect the "grownups" (any person more than a handful of years older is a grown-up to very little kids) to be wrong.
@@fibanocci314 Absolutely.. Kids are just learning about the world, they think that they aren't getting it right because they have no experience to draw on and default to it's their problem, not the others around them. That comes with age
It's absolutely heartbreaking. I can't imagine, how painful that must have been 😢
how about the young kid who lost her father and then had all this foisted on her without therapy, i think the ahole is the mother
I absolutely LOVE when you do the”honorable judge charlotte, you may be seated” intro😂😂😂
For the last story, I used to be the person who would make it harder for everyone to pick something over my weight. It took me losing weight, working on my confidence and going to the gym frequently to realize how my insecurities impacted other people. If you are happy being overweight, then you kinda have to own it. Your insecurities are not other people’s problems, especially on a day that’s not yours. I think bride tried hard to accommodate SIL but at a certain point, sometimes people’s problems can be suffocating and add even more unnecessary stress. Just my take from personal experiences on both sides :)
That promo was so well done! Charlotte you are amazing!
I agree
It just snuck into my video. I was looking for the skip button, then realized it was Charlotte and just sat back and enjoyed. Charlotte has the best promos!
Thank you so much!!
Same!! @@lindapatton4478
Charlotte, the long quietness as your conclusion got my attention & the beauty, relief, truth, safety, peace & positivity which I saw really grabbed me!❤🎉
13:47 she should've worn a cheap ass tacky ass dress and been like you didn't want my wedding dress so this is what I could afford
That first one is NTA. You can’t harvest as a fruit from a tree you don’t tend. Simple Golden Rule that we all learn in Kindergarten as well, treat others how you wanna be treated and all that.
You have to think about the last story. OP was not body shaming her. However, she did try to keep the peace but Mia kept making it difficult until the bride finally put her foot down on a decision that she could not make. Had nobody forced her to involve her as a bridesmaid, none of this would have happen. Her fiancé’s family is TA.
I had a very similar dynamic with my half sister (same dad) before we parted ways in 2015. We are 49 (me) and 57 (her) now, and all my memories of her involve stuff like her cutting off all my hair, her and my dad fat shaming me, and her and her mom insulting me at my half-brother’s wedding.
The last straw was a lawsuit; that’s all I will say. Three years ago, my boyfriend had his Facebook posts set to public for a while and had tagged me in a photo. My sister - whom I’m not in any way connected to on social media - found the photo and commented that it made her “happy”. A few months ago I caught her creeping on my Instagram account.
Without some kind of “Hey, sorry I was such a bitch to you in the past; let’s start over” kind of message, I have no interest in having any sort of relationship. Blood is NOT thicker than water.
My Mom owned 1 dress. Uno! It was simple, knee length two shades of gray. She wore it to every wedding, graduation, funeral. It never bothered me because I knew she didn’t wear dresses and I was happy when she did.
I have been a bride and also a maid of honour and twice a bridesmaid and each time I bought my own dress and the only one I ever picked out was my own bridal gown. This all happened in late 90’s and early 2000’s and although we did have a few bridezillas but the brides/bridesmaids currently have such entitlement, bizarre requests and behaviour! It’s just crazy to me…every summer for about 10 years I went and was in multiple weddings per season, we only had the wedding we could afford and everyone was happy for each other. People these days need to learn that world does not revolve around them but instead revolve with the rest of us!
I’ve been a bride once, sole bridesmaid twice, one of a pack of bridesmaids three times and matron of honor once.
Any time I was not the bride, I wore exactly what the bride told me to wear with a huge smile on my face. As the bride, I don’t think I’d have even noticed if someone wore a wedding dress to my wedding. 🤣
Charlotte your commercial was great! Keep up the good work.
Regarding story #3: My daughter had friends in a variety of sizes from XS to 4x. They chose David’s Bridal (many dresses in different styles, but same fabric/color). Each bridesmaid was allowed to choose the style they felt fabulous in. Some of the larger gals wore boleros/lace shawls and everyone looked beautiful!
I did the same - picked color and we went to DB - and all the ladies picked the same dress!!! lol
DB is great for this. For my wedding I made it super easy. The dresses were black. I told the girls to wear any black dress that covered their boobs and butts. Black tuxes for the guys. I bought matching dyed scarves and ties for them all in indigo (the other colour). It all came together perfectly. No one spent a dime besides me and I got a discount on theirs because I had my dressmaker do them (I also wore indigo!).
It can always work out if the bride is also reasonable... but I think in this case there's a bit of mean girls action... bride purposely chose something that would make the fat bridesmaid self-exclude because "we didn't want her anyways"....?! If I was SIL, I'd call myself a Groomslady and wear something the color of the men's tuxes, and let the mean bridal party have their pretty dresses and ugly souls.
it's nice when everyone can feel good about their dress !
I love how the Honorable Judge Charlotte is slightly belligerent, possibly British, and that her sobriety could probably be called into question, easily one of my favorite imaginary people ever! 😂🤣🥰
The bride in the dark blue sequin dress could have it altered into a skirt, then pick up lovely blouses, jackets, and shawls to change it up. With the leftover fabric, make a matching purse or headband. Repurpose your heart out and look gorgeous with your independent style.
My baby sister is 8 years younger than me and her father is my Mom’s second husband. Neither myself nor my two sisters from my Dad have ever thought of her as our “ half “ sister. As a matter of fact I was crushed when I found out years later that my baby sis carried secret pain about not feeling like our real sister because she has a different Dad. That Mom created a mess she should have fixed years ago. I hope OP gets a great sister-in-law someday to help fill that need. FYI your ad break was really clever. Great work !!
I thinks it’s a cool idea to have a wedding dress that could be worn for a variety of occasions. Nobody would of known it was the dress she wore at her wedding till ciera made a fit. Not to mention it literally fit the description of what was appropriate attire: dark blue, fancy attire. NTA 👩⚖️
Tha advertisements you make are the BEST!! I always like watching them they're so entertaining
The half sister one made my jaw hit the floor, I have 3 half siblings and we all get along especially younger sister and I even though mum tried to turn us against each other she was not a kind woman.
Anyone else wish there'd be an update to the first story where the older sister gets karma for being awful?
I would actually like to hear that evil sister's side. There must be something there we don't know.
@@agavictoriahonestly nothing excuses a fully grown adult telling a child that they wish their mother had aborted them because they think she's disgusting...
I doubt it.
@@agavictoriathat's what I thought as well. Maybe there's another side to the story. I'm guessing the step dad didn't treat her right at start and hence she lashed out. And the OP is definitely hiding something. Because if the step sister hated her so much then she wouldn't have invited her no matter what especially for a reason like "questions will be asked and to make her look good". Nowadays it dosent work like that and people are more understanding when someone has issues with their family and I'm sure her husband also knows she dosent get along with her step sister.
@@godk4tos183I don't agree with that. I've never had the best relationship with my own full sister. She made me a bridesmaid and treated me like a slave, while her maid of honour sat sipping on champagne, then decided to cause massive drama with me on the night of her wedding - accusing me of sabotaging her wedding, being a sh+tty sister and that I never should have been a bridesmaid because I am 'useless'... There is nothing more to the story, she was just really being a d*ck. I regret going and doing a damn thing for her. We speak now, but I actively choose to avoid making plans. Sometimes people are just horrible people.
7:15 That sister wasn’t looking for a renewed relationship; she was just looking for the 17yo to come to her wedding and then the next day she would renew treating her like sh&t again.
I wore a green summer dress for my wedding and I've worn it to many summer weddings. No one noticed/cared.
I feel like people would have noticed it at YOUR wedding. Just because people were looking at you for the ceremony
Story 1: I would contact my entire family and tell them everything and why I would never contact her again. I also would have contacted the future husband to let him know everything. If he wants to stay with her after that, that's on him, but they would be no way in hell I would stay with someone like that who hasn't tried to fix the shit storm they created. I couldn't believe they would be a good partner or mother.
Charlotte🥰 I love the way you do your sponsored adds. Only creator I won’t skip passed the adds. Well done 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I also love your content I could watch you all day, everyday. You’re so hilarious, thankyou x
I have a wedding dress story.
About 8 years ago, my SIL bought me some nice dresses as I had none(except my wedding dress). Among them were three velvet dresses, two black and one dark purple. I wore each of the dresses once in a while to church or some occasions, but they were rather more formal than any of the occasions called for. They have been in my closet hanging around for years.
Last December, my younger brother was getting married. My mom showed me pictures of my sisters wearing their bridesmaids' dresses, and they were velvet. I decided right then and there that I would wear one of my velvet dresses. The day came, and I was super busy getting shirts and pants pressed for my boys and fixing my daughter's dress(installing modesty plackets as she is 12). When my husband came in to get ready, he asked if we were ready. I said I just had to get myself ready. I ran into our closet and emerged wearing the dark purple velvet dress. He did not understand why I changed as I was wearing a decent, though not formal, dress.
When we got to the wedding, I would say close to a third of the women were wearing velvet and one of my sisters, who was not a bridesmaid, was wearing almost the exact same shade of purple velvet I was. Her dress was brand new. Mine was 8 years old but looked brand new. My husband was impressed and happy I had changed. We had a lovely time.
The moral of the story is that if you have a quality garment that you don't know what to do with, keep it around. As long as you don't put on too much weight, you should be able to wear it again as the color and style will come back around.😊
I think the focus on the last story should have been more on how MIL and Mia forcing herself into the wedding party, when the bride didn't want her in it. Mia being on the larger side, was just an aside.
Yep, mil and Mia are definitely the ah, the bride was not. It should be the bride's choice on who her attendants are. At this point I think I would just say your out, you can attend as a guest.
As someone who knows someone who is insecure about their weight and looks, i dont think they’re being fatphobic, they bring up their weight because they allow that insecurity of theirs to ruin happy moments like dress shopping for a wedding. I deal with my mother who constantly refuses to be in family photos or will bring up how fat she is and how much she hates being fat every time to go to a restaurant. I get being insecure about how you look i deal with insecurities about how i look too. But its so incredibly draining being around someone who constantly fat shames themselves and never having any photos of her with the family cuz she can’t handle being seen in a photo. Nobody brings up her weight except her and when she doesn’t that shes also shaming everyone who hears that, cuz then they know thats how shed feel about them if they were heavy too
My best friend wore a dress that was identical to my wedding dress, but hers was turquoise. She had no idea what my dress looked like and was mortified when she saw my dress and worried I’d be upset… I found it hilarious. My friend looked beautiful and I was so happy to see her on mine and my husbands special day. Brides that flip out because of other brides attire are seriously insecure.
I must say, that's one of the best commercials I've seen for a sponsor. Very creative, I'm fighting my inner selves about placing an order already 😂 ❤
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I’m so glad you liked it!
I wore the dress I got married in to a friend’s wedding. It was a pastel multicolored floral, short, lace dress. Not a wedding dress. I wore it for Easter before and after getting married in it. That’s the type of dress it was. Like OP, simply the nicest thing I owned when we finally decided to make things legal at the courthouse (I kept holding out hope for a wedding redo but it didn’t happen for lots of reasons including money, family, ex drama, etc.) and we didn’t even publicize exactly when we got married and there were no photos (yes, all the things I wanted were robbed from me, I’ll take a little pity, BUT I got the guy and that’s what truly matters). No issues at friend’s wedding. This dress in question, no one would have known had been OP’s “wedding dress” unless they’d been at the wedding. It looks totally appropriate for the occasion and her friend seems to have other issues with OP (I sense insecurity) to make a scene like that at her wedding. If she hadn’t said anything, no one else would have known or seen a problem. I don’t have money for fancy dresses either. Lord knows I wanted to at least get a cute, white dress for my courthouse wedding (and some photos) but it simply wasn’t possible. Even now, I get a new dress like for Christmas but they’re not formal. I didn’t get to go to prom either but if I had, I’d have made use of the dress as often as possible. I don’t see a problem here except with the insecure bridezilla. No, we shouldn’t have to stretch our budget or go into debt for someone else’s wedding or event.
I've been binge watching your wedding drama videos and they're so good, i guess i'm trying to relieve some anxiety since my parents wedding is in a week and i'm the one who's gonna be carrying the wedding rings, and tbh it's also kinda strange bc i never thought i would see my mom in a wedding dress or see my parents marrying like that (they've been married for almost 18 years and i'm turning 16 a day before the wedding) they've been married for so long but only on paper so i never thought i would actually see them getting married in church, especially bc my mom never cared about it (still doesn't but my dad is really excited and happy so she's happy too)