Tag Along with Me to Walmart - Anxiety Rant
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- Hello peanut gallery! I stopped by the Biddeford, Maine Walmart today and I took you in the store with me. Then I talked about my anxiety in the car. You can see more tag alongs here: tinyurl.com/y88...
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The whole time you were talking, I was sitting here nodding my head.
Darlene, I want to tell you how one of your tutorials helped breath me life into me.
Your " quilt as you go" got me to making quilts for my children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. I returned to my sewing after taking 4 years off . I sorta lost my vision for sewing after retiring and moving in with my daughter and her husband. It seemed no needed anything that I might sew until I found out about the quilting. So this year my gifts to my family are the quilts I've been making since July 2017. I'm ready for Christmas.
Thanks for posting your tutorial. You rock. 😊🌹
PTSD, can be from losing someone you love, from being in a near death experience, anything that really scares you like, someone broke into your house, a car accident. Acupuncture really helps PTSD. Coffee doesn't help it at all, coffee can even cause depression in someone who is carb sensitive. I cant wait for a ZERO Carb video from you Darlene. I think your doing GREAT :)
This is the easiest way to make beef jerky Ive seen. I'm really wanting to try this. Thanks Darlene So much!
In order for me to go to sleep at night I listen to audio books. If I don't have something else playing in my head, my mind goes to places that cause me anxiety. I download them to my phone, put in my ear buds, set the sleep timer, and listen to a novel until I fall asleep. Have been doing it for years.
You have no idea how much you mean to me & I THANK GOD I FOUND YOU!! I don't think I can afford to watch you on your other site so I hope you'll still post here too (and allow comments). All my life I thought I was the only person on earth who feels like this (like you!)... I am on CONSTANT REPEAT OF THINGS FROM MY PAST AND THAT WAS OVER 50 years ago!!! Thank you Darlene
My son is 57, he is on a disability for what you have, he relives the abuse from his Dad and childhood and when he was little he put him in a toy box and sat on it. Shot at him when he was older. My son was a really bad alcoholic into the whiskey till he had a dui he was so panicked, he asked the cops to take him to get help. We didn't even know what happened and where he was, my daughter found where he was, they are not allowed to tell you he is there. Now he goes to talk to someone once a week or more. Now instead of whiskey he is on so many pills and he talks like you hates to go out does not want to be around people, lives by himself. He gets so angry. I wish I could help him. He would like to leave this world but he believes in god and killing himself it out of the question. We love him and worry. I worked in a home and I agree with you, they just do things because they have too. Anxeity he has and I can;'t even imagine what he and you go through. Thanks for sharing to let people know what its like.
I can't even imagine what you go through for your son. My son also suffers from depression and anxiety and I have only myself to blame. I was a drunk teen mom and he was raised by me and my narcissistic mother. Double whammy for him. He quit drinking so I'm very happy about that. But the depression can be very scary. I worry about him all the time.
Now, I realize why I identify and enjoy your videos so much! I have very similar issues, especially with the cringing about embarrassing moment years ago!
I still replay embarrassing moments from years ago, and groan or make some kind of noise, I make a face too. I have been diagnosed with having PTSD from living with a mentally abuse husband for 25 years. I can't see him or I will have nightmares for weeks after. If my girls talk about their dad, I go back to those days and get mad all over. When I'm super stressed, I freeze, I can't do anything it seems.
thank you for being so real. I can identify with so much of what you say on your videos ♡
I can relive things that upset me too . I also get things stuck in my head at times , songs mostly and it is awful !! My daughter has PTSD from when her husband was almost killed jogging , she was not there but the fear and shock still can cause her issues almost three years later . I think more people than you imagine suffer from one or more of these things but they do not talk about it ! By shining a light you make others realize they are not alone !
From what you have told of your childhood, it is no wonder you suffer from PTSD, if you heard someone else tell Your childhood stories as theirs and you had a normal upbringing, then you would see the trauma of it , but you lived it so it is your normal in a way !
You are helping yourself and others when you talk about it ! You are not alone !! My best friend did not tell me until I had known her over ten years that she counts everything, over and over . So , you might be surprised at how many people suffer in silence !!
I think my childhood has a lot to do with this. Also, I started drinking very young. One psychiatrist said drinking that young and damage parts of the brain that are developing. He said I was damaged. Actually used the word damaged. I felt so broken.
Thank you Stephanie, so spot on...
Darlene Michaud , I do not know why doctors use that kind of language , that is terrible to tell you that !
You explained how I feel perfectly. I play things from the past over and over whether they are good or bad. I also anticipate what might happen in the future. Either way it can cause anxiety and panic attacks. Connecting with other people who understand (at least a little) does make me feel better. I have been an "over-thinker" since I can remember. Worry wort :)
I suffer reliving things a lot. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, depression, minor OCD... I don't know where that falls, I'm also very obsessive and that goes into thoughts too. PTSD can be 'naturally forming'. Just being constantly in a state of panic or anxiety can add it up. I can't stand what I relive. One thing that happens to me too is I have very vivid dreams. So I will relive those and they will just play in my head and I can't remember if it really happened or if it was a dream. Even nightmares of people or pets dying, I wake up or relive it and cry. It freaks me out.
I can relate & feel your pain. I have very similar anxiety episodes with racing & repeating thoughts. I will replay something that has upset or embarrassed me over & over... sometimes for days. The thoughts & triggers could be
recent or flashbacks. It is a form of PTSD. Mine was caused by the Emotional & physical abuse
I suffered over 20yrs ago. I improved over the years but it will never go away.
I suffer with depression and always had really bad migraines as a child and since. I too relive sentences over and over. I don’t sleep well and some nights a sentence just replays over and over relentlessly. It could be a sentence so trivial too. I’ve never told anyone and never knew it happened to other people so that’s a relief I suppose. A lot of what you say makes sense to me . I have been diagnosed with a brain tumour so I put lots of my strange repetitive thoughts down to that but maybe it’s not. Thank you for sharing. X
Excellent description of how your brain thinks, works, and feels Darlene. NOW maybe some viewers will begin to understand, and at least not ask questions about comments.
I use flex foam. It's cheaper on Amazon. It's fusible on both sides. I suggest buying the 20" x 60" packages. It's only $4.35 plus shipping (not eligible for Amazon Prime).There is no waste. Save every little bitty scrap because you can easily piece it together. The glue is quite strong, so once it's fused, it's there until the end of time.
It’s the same for me to keep me busy all day but at night it’s at this moment I start to think.
But I just wanted to add (to change the subject) I loved to see all these fabrics.
Never tasted beef jerky but I made some duck in salt it’s great for Christmas time ☘️
Tfs 😄💝 My problem, other peoples birthday, or holidays, cause me high stress! Too much is expected. I like ordinary days better!
It is most definitely PTSD... probably stemming from your childhood. I suffer from this as well and it seems to get worse the older I get.
I want to let u know that I find a lot of comfort from your channel. I have many of the same anxieties as you and you help me not feel so alone . Thank you ❤️
That flex foam is fabulous for heavy totes.
We have so much in common, this is why I watch.
My husband is also in a rehab and I also feel very frustrated in meetings like that.He had been in the hospital for 10 days because he had a kidney infection which had turned septic. He is also handicapped and has been since 2006.
Yes, i have repetative thoughts along with anxiety. So many people suffer with this.
Hi Darlene, my head is never empty of 'stuff', usually negative memories. I can't listen to music because nearly everything triggers something that leads to a sad memory. My Mum died suddenly, 14 years ago, and was the most soft, gentle, patient person but I used to antagonise her and make her cry. I replay all the things I said and did and my heart feels like it's been ripped out especially now I am an adult and realise what a shitty boring dumbed down insular life she led. Also, I've been told my Dad was 'inappropriate' with me when I was a child. I can remember snippets of conversations that now seem a bit weird, and although I can't remember anything physical, I do remember feeling emotionally uncomfortable as a child and like I never fit in anythwhere. My Dad died last year after deteriorating over about 4 years. Eventually, the decision was dumped on me to put him in a care home. I now know my Dad was a sociopath and his last three months in the home was very upsetting. I'd always been scared of him but he'd come out with such crap, and have so little disregard for my feelings even though I was bending over backwards to do everything I could for him, but everything I did was wrong. Now my head is full of arguments we had weeks before he died, and how he was a frail old man of 89, but how I also detested him because he was still manipulative and cruel in his words and actions. All this isn't even the tip of the iceberg. Throughout my life I have ricocheted from one disaster to another, from abusive husbands, financial crisis, living in a refuge for a year with my kids when they were 2, 4 and 9,and always always always feeling like I am a failure, weird, and different to everybody else. I have no friends and no family and for the most part, live like a recluse unless I have to go somewhere. Like you, Darlene, I don't like dealing with people and get some respite by upcycling furniture I buy off the Internet and selling it on to make a bit of money. I have no one to discuss all the above with, so I'm sorry if I've burbled on and bored you to tears. I wish you well Darlene, love from England x
Please read on empathic people. You aren’t wrong. You’ve most likely been wronged. The fact that you are fighting so hard shows your strength - not weakness. I can relate to all you say because I live it. Fortunately I was able to retire and can shield myself from most relationships and encounters but before then it was hell.
That description was amazing. I don't think I can describe what I go thru quite so well but I relive stuff in an intense manner too. The anxiety cripples me and a while back it got so bad, I sought help because I felt like I was dying from this awful shit. They told me I have post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. It helped me somewhat to understand my problem better, but I don't feel like I will ever be "cured". I have learned to cut myself some slack and to be kinder in judging myself for being like this. Mistreatment can really scar people. I hope I never say or do anything to make another person feel so wounded. Wishing you well. xo
I don't think I'll ever be "cured" either. Not sure there even is a cure. And as painful as this all is, it's really all I know. I don't know if different would necessarily be better. Might be worse. I just never know. But understanding does at least help to know it's somewhat normal because it's not just us. I also worry so much about not saying anything which is why I rather always be alone. No way to hurt anyone. On the other hand, when people leave me comments, I sometimes slam back like a crazy woman. They don't get that what they wrote was a trigger. I don't expect them to. But I slam back just the same. It's like they are my punching bags for all the triggers in my life. The comments on this post have been amazing so far. All have helped me. It's so helpful to everyone when people share their experiences. I also cut that whole part out of the video. Regretted it so much. But then when I edited, it didn't seem too bad. Very glad I kept it in. Everyone has been so helpful.
I only have garden-variety depression and anxiety, not PTSD. Meds have really helped balance out my brain chemistry so that I don't get stuck in those loops so often and it is easier to get out of the loop if I do get stuck. Have you read Melody Beattie? Before pills, her books were what helped me the most understand what I could and could not change about my behaviors and thoughts. Much love for you! 💝
Several childhood embarrassing times haunt me, and I cannot face anyone.I am alone, on purpose.
My brain replays like that too. Especially a conversation where I embarrassed myself, verbatim, years and years later. Grew up with physically and mentally abusive mother, I think there is a connection (duh) I am always doubting everything I say, in fear of judgment.
The washable fusing is what they use for making collages out of fabric. Making your own textiles-very cool, lots of different stitches used! Embellishments...
Yep. Did the exact same kit about a week ago with my daughter and her friend. It was awful. My husband kept the kettle on the stove going, even still it was near impossible to get those little beads to melt. Finally we gave up. I broke out the beeswax, coconut oil, and some flavorings and we made our own, which worked out way better.
I'm gonna sound like a creeper but I love your whisper voice. It calms my nerves. The fabric department looks really amazing at that Walmart. Oh, and regarding the lip balm, a call into the consumer products safety commission might be a good idea or they may have something online so you can report the issue. It sounds really dangerous. Memories creep up on me at night. Not really feelings but memories. I fall asleep with over ear head phones. I like listening to horror narrations until I fall asleep and sometimes music. I also have vivid dreams where I do feel things. Like I'm asleep but conscious enough to know I'm sleeping and it isn't real but I literally feel emotions and pain. I remember it all when I wake up. Creepy shit. My anxiety manifests on my dreams as well. I was just talking about ptsd with my sister tonight. We both have it mildly. Trust me, you don't need to be in the war to have it. A shitty childhood has the same effect. I just read this back to my self. Damn I was rambling.
I hate going to bed because embarrassing memories start flooding my thoughts.
Wow, I’m not alone!
I do. I beat myself up about the decisions I made, especially in the past.
Yes, I relate to most of what you experience. I second guess everything I say in social settings and if I feel myself getting off track or saying something that may sound weird or not what I meant to say, I make it worse by over compensating by blathering on without being able to reel it back in. Then I relive it until the next big fuck up. I also need earbuds and RUclips videos to fall asleep. ASMR doesn't work for me. I need crime documentaries, weird I know. I also feel the crushing pain of loss years later combined with guilt even though I bear no responsibility for their deaths. The absolute worst is my struggle with "Pure O". It's more rare than OCD, which I have also but pales in comparison to Pure O. I feel your pain and understand how difficult just living, really is.
You have explained it very well,,, nonsense things that just pop. in and out of my head.Nighttime is the worse its like a projector is playing like a movie of things that shouldnt affect my world.I can remember dates of things which has no bearing on my life,butit pops up it's like omg STOP it.
Glad you are U. I have learned a lot and i'm 73 LOL
Hi, I've never commented before but I 👍. I had an upbringing by a horrific mother - im 51 & decided I couldn't put up with the constant 'putting me down' & how much better my siblings are. I'm the eldest. I've bent over backwards to plz her & now I can't go out the house, am severely depressed & have tried suicide several times - ending up in ITU. She would just say 'you've got to stop this nonsense'! I can relate to everything that you are saying & no, according to my Drs PTSD can be had by the life that you have led {if you can call it that}. No 2 people are the same but I watch your videos because it makes me feel I'm not the only person living their life in this way. Ive cut off all communication with her but unfortunately that has meant my father as well {obviously he takes her side}. I hope that I haven't offended you by anything I've said - today I just felt the need to comment. Thankyou for sharing - I can't even finish this off without thinking I'll offend you.
I understand you 100%. I used to lay in bed at night with thoughts taking over my brain. Stupid thoughts- things I've done in my past that I regret, am embarrassed about. I worried all the time about shit! And I know nobody else gave a rats ass about what I was stressing over night after night. I finally started taking something for the severe anxiety I had. My only regret is that I didn't do it long ago. It's worked wonders. Now I don't give a rats ass about any of that stuff that kept me awake night after night. Hope you can find some relief too!
Very interesting. I don't have repeated memories but I have strong empathy for animals and people, it's as you're describing I feel their emotions, not just hear them..for that moment I am living the fear or pain or anxiety.
Please share if you find out anything on recurrent memories.
I have been reading up on empathy. It's another one of those words that are used casually but there is a lot to be learned about being an empath. I feel more pain for someone in pain than they even feel. Again, it's an awful thing to take on. If somone is just a bit sad, I'm thrown into devestation for them. If something does not go right for them, I'm knocked down like it's the end of the world. Being with my son and granddaughter when I was completely down and out with all that was going on in my life was the most painful thing ever. It's like I had all my own pain, my mother's pain, and my son and granddaughter's pain, even if they were not in pain. I can be in pain just thinking of stuff that's bound to happen to them. My granddaughter can just look at me a certain way and I'm crushed with pain. And I worry so much that I won't be able to help when stuff actually goes wrong. I'll be in more pain than them. Sucks.
Walmart employee following you! I wanted to yell through the screen! Lol. Very scary. Do luv
I didn't even notice that in the editing.
I noticed that too. I thought she was going to ask you to quit recording, or at least ask what you were up to.
Haha i was thinking the same thing lol. I was saying turn around you're being followed lol.
Omg Darlene, the same crap happens to me. It's so frigging annoying. I literally wake up sick to my stomach in the middle of the night with thoughts playing over and over. I have to listen to something playing all night in my earbuds or I can't sleep. And when it auto pauses it wakes me up and I have to press play. Thanks for sharing. Thought I was crazy lol ❤
I suffer with replaying memories like that. It’s usually when I feel guilty about something I did. The only time I’ve been able to stop specific ones from replaying is when something happens that makes them no longer relevant. Like if I said something to someone and then I resolve the issue with them, the memory will be gone forever.
SOOOOOO glad to see you back making videos....I wanted to comment on the other ones but comments were disabled - That is the beauty of youtube which some people just dont get - it is YOUR channel - YOUR videos--- YOUR story -- if people don't like the content then they don't have to watch-- lol - why not click off rather than leave nasty disheartening comments. You mean well. I know sometimes it is just helpful to "talk" about things even if its just one sided on a video...not to mention that there are others who may be dealing with similar things and it helps them to know there is someone else that deals with the same thing. Telling someone to "stop" talking out their stories doesn't help the situation - talking about it without judgment helps to get it "out" and helps to process the feelings rather than telling them to keep it bottled all the time because its not "fun" to listen to....then don't listen!!! I don't think your vlogs are just about entertainment - its your life and there are good days and bad days....we all have them. I have anxiety and I am seeing an anxiety therapist and it has been so helpful to have that time to talk through things...and it is amazing how all the pieces of the puzzle work together and explain things. I also have issues where I am trying to communicate and because it may not be "clear and concise" people cut you off --including DOCTORS-- and people can be very rude-- and you are just trying to communicate-- then it hurts your feelings and it makes you anxious to try to communicate in the future because after a while of this you start to anticipate the rude behavior/comments/being cut off etc. and so communicating sensitive topics that you may feel emotional about can be difficult...and if you are a NICE person you don't feel like you can make yourself heard or stick up for yourself-- but you NEED to. You don't have to be rude but you can be firm about what you need. You do matter and your opinion matters and your questions matter and if people are going to be rude and dismissive that is THEM - not you. That is a reflection of their character flaw not your failing. God loves you and I'm glad that you feel up to making vlogs again! :)
Darleen, I suffer with PTSD also. Certain noises, movement, thoughts, actions can send me into a panick or depression or physical pain. I had nightmares for years because of the things that caused my PTSD. I just thought I was wierd growing up when these reactions happened. I was told that anything can cause PTSD. I still have nightmares but not as bad. I have finally realized its ok for me to be the way I am and I have learned its ok the way I react to certain things.
There all the time!
I think it happens to all of us 😊 I’ll be dozing off to sleep and I’ll be awake in a panic as I start thinking about some embarrassing moment from primary (elementary) school or something that happened at work years ago.
Your mother is your war.. I'm so sorry.
I have several crushing painful memories...i have to daydream to stop that cycle.... :(
Effing exhausting!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I believe that flex foam is for making tote bags. It's stable enough so that the sides keep their shape. I haven't tried it yet but have been looking for it. Thanks for the heads up. Will go to my Walmart.
Yes, quite sure someone told me that before. I need to try it!
I have manic depression, ptsd, panic disorder and I'm bipolar. I have panic attacks at the smallest of things. I had one from watching Flicka once. I also replay embarrassing social moments and situations for years in my head that make me feel sick. Then I get irritated about it and have to just isolate myself. One that is particularly bad are driving mistakes that I've made, I will be sick about them for years.
Wow!! Think I'm going to come to US just to use your Walmart lol love it. I did watch/comment on Skylar's Walmart Haul, I'm so glad she loved making the lippy/perfume kits, pity the other one was a flop. I also re live memories like a time travel to the past Darlene, always started by just a flicker of something else then 'bang' I'm there!! It's horrible even traumatic feeling it all again, sends me down then. . It's not nice at all.xx
I was abused by my mother (emotionally and physically) and witnessed her being physically abused by my father growing up. I was the oldest child of 6 and I took it upon myself to be the "fixer" and responsible for shielding everyone whenever I could. I'm totally screwed up now. I am constantly fighting depression, feelings of inadequacy, and I have little self esteem and let everyone run over me all the time. In fact, my mother still abuses me emotionally. I can't stop it. I occasionally have an odd reaction to stress that is hard to describe. I'll try. It is like I go inside my own head for a few moments. I can't see myself, but I feel as if I'm not in my body in a physical sense. I get numb. Then there is a sort of assembly line belt. It is moving and I'm feeling but not seeing it. Then I have thise sense that there is something I'm supposed to grab as it passes before it falls, but I can't see it or even know what it is. I never catch anything of course. It just constantly repeats for several minutes. I'm zoned out when this happens and my heart races and I feel tightening in my chest. I feel a sense of urgency and panic, but also incredibly sad because I know I'm going to fail again. Sometimes I even dream this when I'm asleep. I have NO ides what it is all about. Just that it seems to correlate with my stress levels.
Oh. And I'm extremely OCD and a perfectionist. To the point where if I know I can't do something or won't be able to finish it, I won't even attempt to start.
I know what you mean by re living situations. after conversation or appointments anything to do with social interactions i start rolling my eyes shake my head and cringe my face and say why why why did I say that or do that or should've done if differently and start obsessing over it and could punch myself in the face over and over and tell myself how stupid I am. LOL I just feel extreme embarrassment talking.
So jealous! Our Wally World only has precuts and only a few at that. They got rid of the fabric section years ago. Wicked mad!! Lol Haven’t heard wicked in a long time. Lol. I love how fabric goes from “I will get a couple yards, maybe 4.” Lol. I believe anything traumatic can cause PTSD. I can SO freaking relate to the self talk. I never talked to many people in high school etc because I KNEW I would make a fool of myself as I had done it so many times and beat myself up for it over and over. I never thought I had that much anxiety growing up, (family full of alcoholics, really chic?) but I am now watching my daughter and wondering what I did to ruin her. She is SO anxious. Ugh
That foam stuff is great if you want to make a stand up tote bag. Bosal brand makes several different kinds - glue on both sides, one side or no sides. Lol.
Someone mentioned that before and I was pretty much clueless as to what they meant. I need to try this!
It is PTSD. When my phone is charged I'll tell you more. The WHOLE spring and summer of 1977 is stuck in my head.
Yup. My brain works much the same way. There is a type of PTSD that is not yet recognized in psychiatric diagnostic circles, but it is often used to describe traumatic experiences lasting over a long period of time instead of just one traumatic incident-emotional and physical abuse in childhood is the experience often cited. It’s called C-PTSD aka complex post traumatic stress disorder. Sadly, I suffer from both types after enduring nearly six years of abuse in the workplace.
In the beginning of the video you say something like your brain goes to thinking you’re unworthy as soon as you make a mistake. That probably arose from some emotional trauma in your youth (not having your emotional needs cared for or validated). That set you up to have the PTSD triggered at some point later in your life. At least that is how I’ve come to understand that PTSD works from years of therapy.
Don’t mean to overstep here, but I’ve struggled with the same things for so long now. It pains me to see someone experiencing similar things.
Hang in there. You’re worth it.
I appreciate you giving your opinions on the fabric and prices.
I don't suffer to the degree you describe, but I can definitely identify with what you're saying, especially replaying conversations over and over. It seems to be in the definition of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The first line of the symptoms "Sufferers of OCD who have intrusive thoughts generally have reoccurring images in their minds that are disturbing or horrific. These thoughts may occur based on an event that happened in the person’s life, or they may occur for no particular reason." Here's where I found that: www.psychguides.com/guides/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-symptoms-causes-and-effects/
It's the bad times I relive the most, it's like they're engraved in mind forever in detail too. Most of my bothersome flashbacks are the times I have been humiliated, made fun of and laughed at. It's like in those moments I'm feeling helpless and defeated inside and I pretend to be ok on the outside. I have very few friends and hate going to social events to not be put in situations like that again. In those moments I think to myself how is this happening to me right now. This goes back to childhood to adult memories. I've been called a fat disgusting faggot in a parking lot in front of people and I felt so rejected to be out in public, even bugs me now to a point. Being criticized on my weight by so many around me only makes me want to eat more. And I don't believe I'm so fat that I cause a scene everywhere I go, I wear 2xl it's unfortunate that my good memories are not are resilient. Sometimes I get nervous that I stumble on my words. I used to sweat so bad from anxiety before I went on meds and prescription strength deodorant. Wow I've admitted to so much just now but I feel comfortable enough on tour channel to do so.
for me it's voices that sound familiar and always wanting me to do stuff and in my mind i'm convinced it is telepathy.
Hi Darlene, I am a new subby. But I have been following your every word. Let me apologize for my poor spelling and grammar in advance. I just watched you on an old vlog where you answere questions about your past, alcohol, and your feelings today, or lack there of. This is more than I care to say publicly and I think we may be of help to one another. Or you may be of help to me for sure. I like York Beach and went there a couple of times this summer. Many of the places you mention are familiar to me. I always bring a craft to keep me calm during the ride up. I needed buttons once I got there. The partner said lets go look for some, just to get me out of the room, and my come back was, hey there is this place this woman on RUclips keeps talking about and it's kinda near here but I am not sure of the name.....Martens, Marsdens? So off we went on an adventure. I can't tell you how much that place did for my soul. Hardware stores, old fabric mills, can soothe me and make the endorphins kick in. You and I know what I'm talking about. I've seen it happen to you when you are sewing and creating as you go, The way the stuff is piled up and dis-organized distracts me from my fear of the crowd. If that was a Mall it wouldn't work. I rarely write comments and cannot spill my guts to the world on here. Although I'm kinda letting go at this point.. My wish is that we can write one on one. I thought I had your Email address. Of course if you don't want to. Shit not sure of this. PAM ps. You are articulate.
I only work 15 hours a week because I couldn’t stand to be with ppl for any longer, I can’t do small talk because I end up going home and reliving the whole conversation and feeling like the most stupid person on the planet, I dread going out but I push myself. I was alcoholic for many years I’ve now been sober for two and half years I still have panic attacks, I know the root is from my childhood. I don’t hate ppl but I do hate being around ppl because I feel so abnormal and it ain’t worth the mental and physical stress it takes to try to be normal. Luckily my job is cleaning so I tend to become invisible to most and that’s the way I like it I am however sick of it and plan doing some research because I would like more understanding and be able to help others like I know your channel does. Btw I’ve been no contact from my mother for about four years now say no more lol .
..daughter got a " 4-H" Club
blue ribbon for this. _ fun to
create pendants, & ear rings !
onto AL. foil, squirt
Elmers glue,
put dots of nail polish, drag
a tooth pick through color,
to make a design ! Let dry,
put a hole into it with toothpick,
make into necklace or
little ear rings. ...hope Skylar &
you enjoy this craft ! ..
.《MeeMaw Julia》°°°°☘
Yes ptsd is many things childhood etc 💚
YES! I make a noise when I remember something embarrassing from 30 years ago! I mean... why?! I'm probably the only person who remembers it. And yeah, I relive things over and over. I read an article about some attempts to try to prevent that. I think it's related to OCD. When something stressful happens, a person may obsess about it constantly for some time. That creates very strong neural pathways in the brain. The stronger the pathway, the more likely you are to revisit the memory. So, some experiments were done where when people experienced something traumatic, they were--as soon as possible after the event--given a game to play (I think Tetris was the game used in the experiment.) In theory, anything that requires mental focus should work. But it's got to be something that requires a lot of concentration. Anyway, they found people who played the game after the stressful situation didn't develop the intense neural pathways. It wasn't that the game was magic, it just prevented the brain from reinforcing that unwanted path. It's interesting and I try to remember to do that. I can be traumatized by the most trivial things. I don't know if there's any help for the shit that happened when I was a teenager. :-/
I know what you are saying. I lose control so bad that I find myself getting up in the night (3-4) in the morning and drive to my family members homes just to see if their cars are in the drive way so I know they are home safe. I once put my niece in time out and it broke her heart and I still suffer from her little face and it was 5 years ago and it was for 30 seconds. I'm a loser.
I totally feel for you on the niece thing. I suffer from so many things like that. It's a lifetime full of suffering!!! And people wonder why I swear! I've earned the right to!
I suffer in private. I cry most days and worry about who I have offended. Like right now I have a tenant I cannot get rent from but when I go to ask for the money she plays the sick card or she was raised without a father or her son was killed card. I have become a recluse and would rather spend time alone then with other people. I could have a stroke thinking about being in a group. I think that's why I love your channel because I don't feel so alone in this world. ugh! Thanks
How on earth did we end up both being landlords??? It's the absolute worst thing I can possibly do. I worry about having to ask for rent every day. As soon as I finally collect for one month (and always late) I start worrying about the next month. I can't even look at the property because I know they are not taking care of it at all and I just let it go to hell because I don't want to say anything. I bought that property during a period when I was over medicated and I went through a manic episode. I wanted to flip it but then got stuck with it. It has been one of my biggest regrets.
I know you HATE when someone says..."I know how your feel"...but I honestly do. And I secretly watch you just to know that I'm not alone in this world.
PTSD for me. Thank god for aniexty meds or I would never leave the house.
I can relate with too, Darlene. This is OCD
I keep thinking my tongue gets mangled in a blender machine, why I don't know but it makes me cringe.
sometimes when I get a loop stuck in my head, I make myself sing the star spangled banner (in my head- I cant sing for shit :) ). I don't know why but it works like 75% of the time.
Damn it....yes. Over and ef’n over! Yes PTSD...
I love your videos so much
is your mom ok I hope she is doing well
Hello Darlene, Thank you for sharing, I have never heard anyone explain in such detail, how you experience things, I CAN RELATE SO MUCH ! I'm doing some work with Living Inquires - Scott Kiloby, it's about getting some space, between the images, words, and sensations. I experience life situations quite intense, and I feel raw and the volume is HIGH ! I flood easily, get triggered quickly, my sharp memory recall, about certain experiences is acute. Last night I relived the passing of my mother, and the pain felt unbearable. When you spoke of the paper cut, It's like I felt it too...Just want to let you know, I hear you ! - I do attempt to so some mediation, to ease the panic, when this is happening, or like you I get busy with trying to absorb myself in other things...Much Love Mimi x
You describe it perfectly... intense, raw and HIGH volume! Exactly! And I flood easily and get trigered quickly. And very sharp memory about certain things, many of which seem absolutely meaningless. I did medication over various periods of my life and the last time I was way over medicated. They just kept switching my psychiatrists and they kept adding to the meds, trying different things, and I was finally on a cocktail of 7 meds and it sent me into a manic episode that I never want to experience again. I finally went back to just prozac for a few years and now I've been off that for almost a year. And I have no health insurance now. I'd live off xanax but my doctor will not even let me have it. I don't blame him. lol
Hi Darlene, I meant to say meditation in my comment, however on the subject of medication, I had similar experiences, tried 3 or 4, different types, which made it worse - I had to be hospitalised twice, for suicidal intentions, which largely I believe were, exacerbated by the wrong medication. I too am off all medication, for 2 years now, I felt the meds made me dead to everything, I feel foggy, lethargic and more depressed on it...which at times is not a bad thing IT's a relief from the intensity lol ! x P.S I sobbed uncontrollably, on your video, when you shared about your husband, my former husband is alcoholic and his name is Andy. I found you Darlene, originally somehow, from eating meat only video. I think you are amazing, I appreciate your honesty...
I just looked back and totally thought you said medication. You were between meditation and medication in the spelling. lol You were at mediation which is something I always need! lol I have tried meditation and I can't get past the first 5 seconds. Seriously, my mind drifts to fast. But when I listen to ASMR and I have the right sounds, that's almost like meditation to me, but I end up falling asleep. I wonder what would happen if I listed to those sounds during the day? I generally don't like sounds at all during the day, but usually it's sounds that startle me that I hate. Someone can clear their throat and it can shoot pain through my body. The other day the neighbor blew his car horn three times and I felt like I could run out there and shoot him. But maybe my ASMR scratching sounds might help during the day. Might make me sleepy. Or might just relax me. Holy shit, I'm trying this tomorrow!!!
Too Funny ! heading to google to check out ASMR -- Lol - that's me, with my neighbour O.M.G
I do the same thing.
Check out Complex-PTSD.
i feel almost the same and i was diagnosed with ptsd
Hello peanut gallery! I stopped by the Biddeford, Maine Walmart today and I took you in the store with me. Then I talked about my anxiety in the car. You can see more tag alongs here: tinyurl.com/y88mftf6
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I was diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder a few years ago, BUT i've been this way for 90% of my life. I always fight it to stay functioning although sometimes I've just lost my grip and been terrified I'd be locked up.
I must've been a good actress though because most people said I oozed self-confidence.
Anyway mustn't bore you. Just saying that I think I 'get' you. I wish you well.
omg i do the same exact thing about repeating things in my head. It causes me anxiety too. I have extreme high anxiety almost all the time. I'll give an example of a situation that replays one time we were standing outside of work and a coworker was going through training and i was stuck in small talk (i hate it too) i said how's training going? well the trainer happened to be right behind me and she goes "oh thats nice like she's gonna say training sucks right now" and got all pissed off. well that person hasn't talked ot me again and actually becomes snotty with me and thats not how i meant it at all. I meant it as small talk like why didn't i say something like what are you learning new? anything interesting you learned? but instead i said that and i replay that over and over again. it wasn't earth shattering and i don't even work with either of them any more but it still replays over and over again. other things i do like music and sometimes i really like a song so i have to play it over and over again until it gets out of my head. it drives me nuts that i can't just listen to a song and move on to the next one like a lot of people do. I"ll mask it by putting it in my playlist several times so i try to break up how much i listen to that one song. i could name numerous situations that i replay over and over again especially at work. i haven't looked it up either as to why i do it but it does cause me a lot of anxiety as well.
That's funny that you mention that about the songs. Sometimes I get a song stuck in my head and can't get it out. But other times I do like you said, I actually have to listen to a song over and over again and sometimes this goes on for a few weeks. And it's on my ipad that I do it, at night, before I sleep, and it's in the form of a video. I watch it over and over. Not even sure why I picked that song. And sometimes it's a song that is painful for me, makes me sad because it brings up the past, yet I still listen over and over. Then suddenly, that urge will be gone and I might not listen to music again for months. I never put music on for pleasure because it might bring up memories or I fear it possibly getting stuck in my head. I don't play the radio in the car. If I did, I'd be crying the entire time I drive. For some reason listening to music while driving is a disaster to me. I have too much time to think about the song while driving. I can remember too many specific things about what I was during when that song came out. But then there are those times where I'm practically forced to listen repeatedly for several nights or evern several weeks. Again, all very stressful. Oh, and your memory of that conversation, that's a perfect example of my repeated memories too. They are not earth shattering and certainly something many people would never think of again. The others who were there would probably not even remember the incident ever occured. But for us, it's stuck there.
Maybe coconut oil would have worked when its cold its thick.
Sounds like that medical person only wanted to say what they wanted and didn't care or have time with what you had to say. So rude! I have things play out in my mind over and over, especially when it's something uncomfortable or embarrassing.
Hi Darlene I’m exactly the same as I have memories going back to being a small child that pop some happy some traumatic and some just plain silly similar to your ticket memory perhaps having narcissistic mothers contribute I don’t know
What kind of camera do you use I ordered a camcorder on qvc. Waiting to get it.
I have been told I have P.T.S.D I am crying right now because I get what your saying I have been verbally abused and physically abused my whole life and I suffer from almost everything you have said I've been in therapy I've been on medications which just sedate me and that's bullshit I'm after 3 years of this doctor pushing me to try to go to research therapy where they use you as a guinea pig I said yes ONLY because I have kids and I have no life that isn't me being fake and feeling like a crazy person hiding behind a mask if I get any answers or CURED yeah whatever I will pass on the info. I do truly get it and you don't have to write back I watch you all the time but don't leave messages although I have wanted to let you know there is someone out there that gets you.thats all see I don't even know how to end this ugh sorry
Were the scents in the perfume maker really strong? I've been thinking about getting it for my 10 year old niece for Christmas.
No, they were not strong. Light and fruity. And you can add just a drop or two if you want it very weak. I really liked that kit.
Darlene Michaud Thanks!
You should do a yummy nummies kit
Oops. I commented on the wrong video....lol..
An empath is a favorite victim of a narcissist which is why you have fallen victim to your mom. I am an empath. Look it up Darlene, it may help you understand that there is nothing wrong with you. Empaths don't do well in crowds or in the company of most other people because we draw other people's vibes.
Wicked🤣🤣🤣
Me too. With the reliving stuff. I really think EMDR would help. I don't know anyone who offers it, though. PTSD is called PTSS now. Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
I can't stand stuff like EMDR. I'd rather just live the way I live than have to do that stuff.
What is EMDR?
emdria.site-ym.com/?page=emdr_therapy
This has helped me get control over PTSD. thehempoilbenefits.com/cbd-ptsd-post-traumatic-stress-disorder
.
Omg,
You are describing me
I'm glad to not be alone with this!