I lived in a house Nextdoor to Dr Beck family when she was a young girl. She must have been 6 or so. I have followed her journey and have laughed and cried with and for her. Martha…if you read this, you are an amazing human and I’m so in awe with you.
I need to push back slightly at the use of “You’re making me uncomfortable.” An alternative is: “I’m feeling uncomfortable with what you’re doing right now,” which keeps it in the “I” zone without blaming the other person for how we feel about them.
That reversal works, except when dealing with predators. Then, saying it in the “I” terms, opens the door for the aggressor not take responsibility of their actions. No situation is one size fits all. We are in a time to be nuanced, and aware in relationships.
This is a GREAT subject! All of this saying "I'm ok." is so endemic. I mean, if we say that we're not ok, we become someone people don't want to be around. And when people ask, "How are you?" they don't often really want to know. What would happen if we had 24 hours of all of us being completely honest about our emotions and well-being?
Agreed! We need to be more open / honest and supportive with each other. (And just to add that this seems yet more pronounced in the US than other countries. Because questions that elsewhere are treated as actual questions to answer to are just used as standardized conversational cues to which people don’t actually expect any answer. And where they can be surprised if an uninitiated foreigner like us straight talking Germans 🙈 gives them a real answer that may even be a negative assessment of how we feel…) 😉
Hey Mayim! I loved you in Big Bang Theory as amy Farah Fowler..... Then I discovered your channel and podcast which talk about some great topics. You are extremely underrated not just as an actor, but also as a general person. Thank you❤❤
@Dr. Mayim Bialek I work with autistic kids and adults. I also am a semi professional opera singer. My secret super power! some kids do NOT like loud anything. So I don't sing anymore. Which is half of my unhappiness. I've always felt so special yet idk why I can't get to a point where I CAN feel joy with out anxiety. Because I believe I'm a intuitive empath and its a bittersweet gift. This interview sort of blindsided me with some existential questions and answers I ruminate on. I have kidney stones chronically bc of internalizing so much of the emotions and the state of the world. I identify alot with Jonathan. But as a performer and a 48 peri menopausal women I FEEL SO CONNECTED to you. I love when we grew up. I'd never change it. We got the best of pre internet life. I'm so thankful.
I miss the concepts of parents is a powerful statement. BRAVO! Perfect timing for this pod I have been hospitalized since Sunday after a. Emergency procedure and have another one tomorrow and am so anxious thank you so much for this gift I’m all alone 3,000 miles from friends and family
Thank you for this ! I have read many of Martha's books and the many articles she has penned for Oprah's magazine back in the day. She's helped me so much and is a brilliant woman.
I’m not a baby boomer but she definitely struck a chord with me and had me in tears 😭 I haven’t felt grounded in a long time, this was an eye opener ❤ thank you
this weekend we held my dad's funeral, these tools have helped me so much, saw more tools from Dr. Martha Beck before on another podcast and from Mo Gawdat, and been able to held it together, feel the grief, and be present with my dad during his last 16 hours with him in a room as I helped him sooth into the next stage, we were grateful together, breathing more deep each time, and played music all night, it was beautiful and I did not need nothing but to be present with him and I am so grateful for that experience and was able to go through it all without getting sad for too long, always going back in a state of gratitude
Great episode! I feel more "normal" now! (Whatever that means) I'm constantly surrounded by people who panic about EVERYTHING, and I just don't process life that way. After a while, you start to think that YOU'RE the one who has an issue...this was awesome!
Holy crap...I have decorated my room completely, with pictures, magnets, cups, candles, and more and 99.9% of all that are gifts from people I love. I have surrounded myself with glimmers. ❤❤❤
I just have started to watch. The sentence 'You have to find your way back to that baby you sold out.' already had me in tears. WOW! Looking forward to this interview! Thanks for having such wonderful interviews with such amazing people where we all can learn so much. I also enjoyed very much the recent interview with Dr. Jill Boylte-Taylor! I so enjoy that things like consciousness, intuition, true/higher self, ... becomes more and more the subject of your talks. Especially Dr. Jill Boylte-Taylor explained it in such natural and scientific way without woo-woo. That way most people finally can grasp it and can find a way back to their true self - full of love and kindness. Thank you!
Just read "Anxiety Control" by Ethan Parker and I can’t believe it’s so underrated. Hidden secrets in this book are next level, it needs more attention!
I cannot express enough how "creating" has literally saved my life from myself. I thought I was crazy, thank you for validating this visceral notion. As a late blooming professional artist (because conforming to a job I hated was norm), I appreciate language that validates self determination instead of self destruction. Brava ladies. (and Jonathan!)
Love Martha! My favorite writer ever! Have all her books. My dream is to spend a day talking to her about my synchronistic experiences and also a stress reduction method I learned over 20 years ago that uses ton of what she talks and writes about. Thanks for having her on!
Adriana I would love this to be a synchronistic experience where you share your stress reduction technique with us! I have chronic stress. Plus I’m reading a book on synchronicity atm haha.
I have a tendency to lie to not hurt others.... So true... I think it is harmful... I tend to lie about my overall happiness .. Oh my goodness... Almost everyday, I pretend to be happy when I'm not... I need to work on that!! Thank you for this podcast! ❤
When I started watching I thought you'd already had her on as a guest, very odd that I seem to be wrong. Of course she's the perfect guest for you both so I thoroughly enjoyed the episode. I've been following Martha Beck for a while, can't wait to read her book.
Such a great episode. Loved the part about vision boards. I just made my first one last week for my second wedding. It is all squares lined up. Laughed out loud at work to know I am not the only one. I was also glad to hear lists are a creative act. Though I was a highland dance teacher I think of myself as more linear thinking as I apply common sense to most decisions. Love Dr Beck's theory's as I have been using them without knowing it. Had compounded grief and got through it by doing a good morning post as I felt all alone and if I was feeling this there must be others so why not say good morning to them so they don't start the day feeling alone. I chose to do something everyday to be happy. Can't wait to read her books. Thank you for doing this podcast Dr Bialik and Mr Cohen.
A terrific video! Thank you! After seeing you look down and up to follow a script during a commercial, I thought you might like hearing about the method I have where you can look into a camera and speak a long script without a TelePrompTer and without memorizing. I developed this method in my days as a local TV reporter. Record the script on audio beginning with 'Three Two One'. Speak the script as you would present it on the air. Full voice. Rewind the recording and play it back to an in-ear button. Believe me when I tell you that it'll only take a few tries before you get proficient at speaking your script to the camera as you hear it in your ear. When you hear the playback in your own voice at your own speed, you'll find it easy to follow. I once performed about ten long on-camera inserts quickly when I was a last-minute substitute for the chosen presenter who could not present and I was at the shoot. We finished all the inserts quickly because of my method. A benefit of not needing a TelePrompTer was the freedom of starting the camera well away and moving in. And, no one sees your eyes darting back and forth! :)
Martha! I'm so excited that I discovered you today, our lives have a lot of parallels including growing up Mormon and figuring out we were gay in adulthood! I can't wait to learn more and read your books. A few questions from this episode: 1. If fear and anxiety comes from language, how come some dogs have severe anxiety? You mentioned animals live without anxiety, but that's not what I have seen. 2. I'm a graphic designer and photographer, so I create 8 hours a day. And I have had plenty of anxiety attacks in the middle of creating. Why is that?
After having watched the full episode I now see myself with different eyes!! It is not me being odd, the world is odd! 😅For instance, I never liked sitting on chairs, especially in a workshop. I always set or even lay down on the floor if possible. That way I felt more comfortable, but felt as if I was odd as everyone was sitting in chairs. I gonna watch this again as there is lots of valuable information such as to really feel the sentence 'I am meant to live in peace.'. Thank you for this awesome interview. Would love to hear more from her.
Message from the universe? I just finished the podcast with Mel Robins with Dr. Beck, and now this one pops up. I didn't choose either one. She is wonderful!
I think something worth mentioning is that being honest isn't something that everyone's nervous system is capable of. If when your young you get the impression that if I'm honest I'll get in trouble, and I'm going to get beat your not going to feel safe being honest. She mentioned ppl who repeated her practice said they alway feel scared now, and that's probably why. Not that I'm downing her work or what she's saying, just throwing this out there for anyone who tried this and their body has this intense reaction ❤
I don’t know how I feel about your guest today. Some of it seemed spot on but some seemed out there. I grew up Mormon and my experiences were very different and yet I’m no longer a believer either. I’ll probably be thinking this for the rest of the day
I recently discovered her when I read one of her books, which reads like the Bible for INFJs, and you're right she is pretty far out there. She describes incredible, super natural experiences. Same time, her credentials (from LDS to Yale) check out, from what I understand. Big fan here. Best to you ~
Has anyone listened to the Telepathy Tapes? When Martha speaks about her beautiful son Adam, you sense the same magic in him as in the non-verbal community that the Telepathy Tapes explores - we are more than this body and brain ❤
I love this episode great topic the guest speaker was phenomenal I really resonated with her and things she had to say. I am a big fan of your podcast you both do such a great job I love the guests and the topics.
Dr. Bialik, I appreciate how your podcast stimulates my thinking. No lie. lol. And, I have to push back about the "lie" issue. I think Dr. Beck needs to clarify the difference between a culture of harmful and debilitating self-denial and a culture of common consideration of others' feelings. The latter is also crucial to our mental health and our ability to live in community with others. I had a friend who always said exactly what she thought, no matter how offensive or insensitive. She was proud of this. She informed people that she would always tell the truth even if it hurt. She died last year from self-starvation. She was alone. No one wanted to be around her anymore. Her family and friends estranged her because they couldn't tolerate her brittle, caustic, and yes, honest, personality. The only person in her life, when she died, was an old acquaintance who latched on to her at the end of her life and got her to sign over all of her wealth. It's such a tragic story. I think of her whenever I temper what I say to someone if I know the direct truth will be hurtful or damaging, or ineffectual. Often the direct truth puts people on the defensive and creates conflict and instability. I usually revisit the subject with the person later after I've found a way to communicate the truth in a constructive way. And I don't feel fractured or broken. Perhaps the key to Dr. Beck's theories is to learn effective communication. Great interview. Thank you. No lie.
The friend I referred to in this comment had interstitial cystitis and died of complications because she stopped eating and became so weak that she couldn't fight off a common cold.
Dear Jonathan and Myiam, I hope you’re both doing great. I loved this episode. I’d love to suggest an episode that might resonate with many listeners-one that explores the experience of dealing with immediate family, particularly parents, who strongly align with MAGA beliefs. For those of us who have had to sever ties with family because of this, it would be helpful to discuss the emotional and psychological impact of that decision. I also think it would be insightful to talk about the trauma that comes from being misled by family about one’s identity, upbringing, and institutions like the Catholic Church. Personally, I’ve felt the lasting effects of these issues. Additionally, the myths we were told as children about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and other figures, though often seen as harmless, may have a deeper impact than we realize. Thank you both for the incredible work you do and for the comfort and insight your podcast has provides me. Warm regards, T
My biggest lie is constant, in I am always having to conform professionally to keep the peace so to speak. I feel I can’t be myself in this regard. There are so many rules, I can’t be myself. Great video thank you.
I love Martha! And I love how impactful she has been for so many including myself. I am sorry for her horrific experience of abuse growing up 😞. I can’t help but be sadden as a member of the LDS church by her statements about “Mormonism”. I am certain that those claims she was taught as a child are not true LDS doctrine . I am happy she found peace elsewhere! 🙏🏼
I was given up from my family of birth at age 6. My sister was 3. The foster family and adoptive family were alcoholic and abusive. I wish for peace and love.
@@aammssaamm what a horrible thing to say. Unless you know them, you don't have any idea about the specific situation -- the birth family might have been better, or better yet they weren't raised by alcoholic and abusive families.
@ For some reason you don't consider your verbal aggression "a horrible thing to say". The birth family gave them up. Try using your brain, babe, and learn some meditation.
Unconsciousness is the greatest sickness of humanity. I hope to be ready to share my story some day, even with all my abusers still being alive and me being disowned and my experiences being disbelieved.
My body spoke loud to me when suddenly a man I knew said a very sick thing in my ear. I knew he had been accused of sexual misconduct and put on probation at his job twice! I looked up to this person and supported his dialog around these accusations because I wanted to seem objective in a recovery group we were in. Well, that changed forever when he pulled a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on me.
I'm ex-mormon too! I could relate to her on that issue. Leaving that religion began a journey of truth and light that is hard to explain. Anyway, thank you for this podcast!! So interesting! 🙂❤
I'm not sure where to put a suggestion for a guest. I'm hoping this will do. Mayim, I would love to have you and Jonathon interview KenDBerry MD. He's really engaging and would be a good point of view. He promotes a carnivore lifestyle. Obviously, a much different way of eating from YOU 🙂
Mayim, you always been my hero! I watched you on the tv show Blossom! May I give you some advice?! Have you ever thought about taking a graphics designs class?! Especially in adobe photo shop! Because it works with positive, and negative image. Your biggest fan! Jaime West PS. Sorry for my bad grammar! lol
I have such a traumatic story on lying... My grandmother found out that I started using my left hand to right. This is second grade. I've been writing for 3 years now. Since preschool. I'm a left-handed individual. Well my grandmother is a preacher. A rev. She proceeds to tell me. That left-handed individuals are evil. Excuse me I tell her. Your daughter, my mother. She writes with her left hand. It was huge it was a fight. I was not letting down. I was not going to let her call my mother evil. I had that info from her. I had to learn how to write with my right hand and take a test. I failed the test. I made a lie about my grade. But it was just a fib lie. Because I was allowed to retake the whole test. My teacher Ms.Sumners, was mortified when she found out why I switched my hands. She did not expect that excuse to come out of my mouth. My grandmother thinks that all left-handed individuals are evil. My mother is a lefty. My grandmother babysits me every single day. She's telling me that me riding with my left hand his blasphemous and I'm evil. well. After this whole event. Christmas Eve day all the info is found out. I'm mortified I lied. It was my first major lie.. That day my mom taught me a serious lesson about lies. She sent me downstairs. And told me she would call me up in a couple hours. I could hear her making bread. Then she called me upstairs. She made a whole bunch of little buns. These were little white lies. I had to hold out my arms together and hold all the White lies together and remember all of them. Then she made bigger buns with chocolate sauce all over them. The lies get darker. You got to remember them. You've got to keep them all up. And then she dumped 3 lb of dough on me. Hold it up. Keep the lies up she said.. This event. Changed me. As a matter of fact my husband says," you have an unbelievable ability to deliver truth uncomfortable truth comfortably." ... That I do, for that very event.. When you asked me do I look bad. I'm going to tell you sweetheart you look bad. You might want to go turn around and take care of yourself and I'll wait another hour. My husband tells me I have a poetic way of delivering truth. Uncomfortable very comfortably. Thank you Grandma for that horrible event. But you made me a truther. I don't like lying. What I went through was traumatic. A lot of people don't like me because I'm too truthful. That's okay.. I don't like liars.
It will be interesting to see what happens to Gen Z who cannot tolerate any level of discomfort. I have to explicitly teach my young clients how to get comfortable with discomfort because they not only have 0 resilience, they demand that the rest of the world accommodate them so they never have to be uncomfortable. I get it, we need to be more aware of our body and how to acknowledge what it needs without damaging our health, but we also need to tolerate, endure, and cope with our own discomfort when other's needs are more important. Without balance, we can unwittingly create a culture of sociopathy.
Tbh, at first, I was about to pushback, regarding how lying affects our physical bodies. However, in watching this podcast, I can see how organized religion feeds homophobia. It's one thing to say homophobia is wrong. However, the reality is that millions of people in this country are Democrats and homophobic. How do we reconcile these 2 diametrically opposed realities? Imho, I feel that Democrats need to address this, before they impose their anti-homophobia agenda on the people around them. For example, Democrats decided without input from the Latino community to relabel them as Latin-X without confronting the homophobia in the Latino community. As with all of these podcasts, there is a lot to unpack. Keep up the awesome work, Mia and Jonathan. And, take care. 💜
Daily I'm forcing myself to say "fine" or "no, nothing's wrong" to my program director in a post-grad cert program. It's just that many of my problems stem from her and I don't know that she is mature enough not to hold that over my head; so if she won't drop it I just say "I'm tired." I want to try the no-lying thing so badly, but I worry I may be treated unfairly in the program.
For so long my job at at least two places was to lie for my bosses. I was a receptionist, a gate keeper. And I can say that it physically hurt me. I had one boss who didn’t want me to lie for her (the other two bosses were men) and I experienced so much less stress with her.
People are sometimes assholes. I learned at a young age to watch, since I'm different. And I've always stayed outside others. I do everything on my own, but I like People, helping others. I just also see all the uncompassionate, lying, angry, its all so draining. So alot of time, I help than get shoved back off by myself when people get what they need from me. So while I help when I can, but life is hard enough just protecting myself
That's how I feel too, and I don't think I'm in the spectrum, but since I was a kid I'd feel uncomfortable pretending to be "happy" as my mom would force me to smile when going out and stuff like that. I had to learn the hard way that when people ask "how are you?" They don't really want to know how you are :'(
For someone who is talking about how we are conduits of energy essentially, then why does Dr Beck shoot straight to psychedelics and not meditation? In fact she brushes over meditation as that’s what Asian cultures do. Creating another form of “othering” of humanity. It’s Ironic given Mayim starts off saying medical plug and play approach. But that is the approach Dr Beck is essentially promoting, at least in this podcast.
I'm at 11:50. I feel like we could solve a whole lot of problems if more of us grasped the damaging nature of how people, specifically parents, are attempting to live out religious values, and many of the tropes and motivations that tell us to subjugate ourselves to a higher power or aspirations ends up subjugating or shaming ourselves to death.
She's lying. The surgeon wouldn't have panicked. They would've checked her vitals. Signs of stress would be an elevated heart rate and blood pressure. Tears can be from many things, and had they further sedated her based on that alone, they would've risked suppressing her breathing too much. Mayim, I would think you'd vet your guests.
Wow, when Dr. Beck brought up the part about Jeff Bezos and waking up fearful, it brought up a realization the 1984 George Orwell is here. I already sort of knew it, but it’s another example. Hum
I was not only brought up in the cult of Jehovah’s Witness’s but even before that I was told a lot “You’re such a “tomboy”. Ok, yes, it turns out that’s how I was born.
Honestly I don’t really lie Maybe once in a great while there’s a thing I say that’s not true but not too often. Not that I’m superior or anything I was raised by a pathological liar and the effect in me is I can’t tolerate lying. The thing is at work I’ve seen people go far by lying. It’s just not something I’m willing to do. So I don’t get what she is saying about all these women lying.
I lived in a house Nextdoor to Dr Beck family when she was a young girl. She must have been 6 or so. I have followed her journey and have laughed and cried with and for her. Martha…if you read this, you are an amazing human and I’m so in awe with you.
I need to push back slightly at the use of “You’re making me uncomfortable.” An alternative is: “I’m feeling uncomfortable with what you’re doing right now,” which keeps it in the “I” zone without blaming the other person for how we feel about them.
Yes.
Yes
That reversal works, except when dealing with predators. Then, saying it in the “I” terms, opens the door for the aggressor not take responsibility of their actions. No situation is one size fits all. We are in a time to be nuanced, and aware in relationships.
@@critterkarma Thank you for pointing this out.
@@cynthiabrown5468 YW, I updated my post, for clarification. 😌
This was so wonderful 😀 thank you. Please have her as a guest again.Very eye opening. Mayim you are an awesome soul. 💜💜💜
This is a GREAT subject! All of this saying "I'm ok." is so endemic. I mean, if we say that we're not ok, we become someone people don't want to be around. And when people ask, "How are you?" they don't often really want to know.
What would happen if we had 24 hours of all of us being completely honest about our emotions and well-being?
💯
Agreed! We need to be more open / honest and supportive with each other. (And just to add that this seems yet more pronounced in the US than other countries. Because questions that elsewhere are treated as actual questions to answer to are just used as standardized conversational cues to which people don’t actually expect any answer. And where they can be surprised if an uninitiated foreigner like us straight talking Germans 🙈 gives them a real answer that may even be a negative assessment of how we feel…) 😉
Empathy being empathetic means being real and if you can open up and share that even better
@@timkremser3580 I lived in Germany from 2017 to just last December. I miss how much warmer the culture is there. Beautiful place.
Hey Mayim! I loved you in Big Bang Theory as amy Farah Fowler..... Then I discovered your channel and podcast which talk about some great topics. You are extremely underrated not just as an actor, but also as a general person. Thank you❤❤
Amy ❤
Very happy to have you here!! 🧠🫶
She's not underrated. A lot of people aren't aware that she has a podcast. My cousin sent me this link. I wouldn't have known. Spread the word.
I ABSOLUTELY agree ❤love her...
@Dr. Mayim Bialek I work with autistic kids and adults. I also am a semi professional opera singer. My secret super power! some kids do NOT like loud anything. So I don't sing anymore. Which is half of my unhappiness. I've always felt so special yet idk why I can't get to a point where I CAN feel joy with out anxiety. Because I believe I'm a intuitive empath and its a bittersweet gift. This interview sort of blindsided me with some existential questions and answers I ruminate on. I have kidney stones chronically bc of internalizing so much of the emotions and the state of the world. I identify alot with Jonathan. But as a performer and a 48 peri menopausal women I FEEL SO CONNECTED to you. I love when we grew up. I'd never change it. We got the best of pre internet life. I'm so thankful.
I miss the concepts of parents is a powerful statement. BRAVO! Perfect timing for this pod I have been hospitalized since Sunday after a. Emergency procedure and have another one tomorrow and am so anxious thank you so much for this gift I’m all alone 3,000 miles from friends and family
Everything will be ok Lindsey. I’ve been there too. I hope your recovery is swift.
Sending you all the love and strength, and hoping you recover beautifully and quickly!! 🫶🫶
All my hopes for your recovery, and all the love you can find.
Dr Mayim asks the best questions and summarizes the guest's point so well. Absolutely love this !!!
Thank you for this ! I have read many of Martha's books and the many articles she has penned for Oprah's magazine back in the day. She's helped me so much and is a brilliant woman.
I’m not a baby boomer but she definitely struck a chord with me and had me in tears 😭 I haven’t felt grounded in a long time, this was an eye opener ❤ thank you
🙌
this weekend we held my dad's funeral, these tools have helped me so much, saw more tools from Dr. Martha Beck before on another podcast and from Mo Gawdat, and been able to held it together, feel the grief, and be present with my dad during his last 16 hours with him in a room as I helped him sooth into the next stage, we were grateful together, breathing more deep each time, and played music all night, it was beautiful and I did not need nothing but to be present with him and I am so grateful for that experience and was able to go through it all without getting sad for too long, always going back in a state of gratitude
I'm sorry for your loss. 🙏 Thank you for sharing.
Sending you hugs - may his blessing be for a memory. Thanks so much for sharing. 🫶
I love Martha. Thank you for having her on the show.
Great episode! I feel more "normal" now! (Whatever that means) I'm constantly surrounded by people who panic about EVERYTHING, and I just don't process life that way. After a while, you start to think that YOU'RE the one who has an issue...this was awesome!
Listening to Martha makes everything better
Holy crap...I have decorated my room completely, with pictures, magnets, cups, candles, and more and 99.9% of all that are gifts from people I love. I have surrounded myself with glimmers. ❤❤❤
So excited you had Martha Beck on! I absolutely love how she explores the world!
I just have started to watch. The sentence 'You have to find your way back to that baby you sold out.' already had me in tears. WOW! Looking forward to this interview!
Thanks for having such wonderful interviews with such amazing people where we all can learn so much. I also enjoyed very much the recent interview with Dr. Jill Boylte-Taylor!
I so enjoy that things like consciousness, intuition, true/higher self, ... becomes more and more the subject of your talks. Especially Dr. Jill Boylte-Taylor explained it in such natural and scientific way without woo-woo. That way most people finally can grasp it and can find a way back to their true self - full of love and kindness. Thank you!
Just read "Anxiety Control" by Ethan Parker and I can’t believe it’s so underrated. Hidden secrets in this book are next level, it needs more attention!
I cannot express enough how "creating" has literally saved my life from myself. I thought I was crazy, thank you for validating this visceral notion. As a late blooming professional artist (because conforming to a job I hated was norm), I appreciate language that validates self determination instead of self destruction. Brava ladies. (and Jonathan!)
One of my favorite podcasts!!! Such amazing information and a great perspective.
Love Martha! My favorite writer ever! Have all her books. My dream is to spend a day talking to her about my synchronistic experiences and also a stress reduction method I learned over 20 years ago that uses ton of what she talks and writes about. Thanks for having her on!
Adriana I would love this to be a synchronistic experience where you share your stress reduction technique with us! I have chronic stress. Plus I’m reading a book on synchronicity atm haha.
I have a tendency to lie to not hurt others.... So true... I think it is harmful... I tend to lie about my overall happiness .. Oh my goodness... Almost everyday, I pretend to be happy when I'm not... I need to work on that!! Thank you for this podcast! ❤
Dr. Beck was my first step in finding my truth.
WOW. Thank you ♥This landed so beautifully and grateful to all three of you.
When I started watching I thought you'd already had her on as a guest, very odd that I seem to be wrong. Of course she's the perfect guest for you both so I thoroughly enjoyed the episode. I've been following Martha Beck for a while, can't wait to read her book.
I love Martha Beck, thanks for having her on❤
Such a great episode. Loved the part about vision boards. I just made my first one last week for my second wedding. It is all squares lined up. Laughed out loud at work to know I am not the only one. I was also glad to hear lists are a creative act. Though I was a highland dance teacher I think of myself as more linear thinking as I apply common sense to most decisions. Love Dr Beck's theory's as I have been using them without knowing it. Had compounded grief and got through it by doing a good morning post as I felt all alone and if I was feeling this there must be others so why not say good morning to them so they don't start the day feeling alone. I chose to do something everyday to be happy. Can't wait to read her books. Thank you for doing this podcast Dr Bialik and Mr Cohen.
Thank you. I feel like Mayim learned some things about herself this episode. I obtained some useful tools, techniques,and information. I am grateful.
What an interesting episode! Love Martha Beck and exploring the infinte possibilites of which she spoke. Great interview from my favorite podcasters.💗
Thank you so much for this interesting conversation and episode with Dr. Martha Beck! You have a great channel and podcast, Mayim! ❤
Much love Mayim. This is a great topic for me, thank you all.
A terrific video! Thank you!
After seeing you look down and up to follow a script during a commercial, I thought you might like hearing about the method I have where you can look into a camera and speak a long script without a TelePrompTer and without memorizing. I developed this method in my days as a local TV reporter.
Record the script on audio beginning with 'Three Two One'. Speak the script as you would present it on the air. Full voice. Rewind the recording and play it back to an in-ear button.
Believe me when I tell you that it'll only take a few tries before you get proficient at speaking your script to the camera as you hear it in your ear. When you hear the playback in your own voice at your own speed, you'll find it easy to follow. I once performed about ten long on-camera inserts quickly when I was a last-minute substitute for the chosen presenter who could not present and I was at the shoot. We finished all the inserts quickly because of my method.
A benefit of not needing a TelePrompTer was the freedom of starting the camera well away and moving in. And, no one sees your eyes darting back and forth! :)
I used that method many times in university, it's a very useful advice! 💯
Martha! I'm so excited that I discovered you today, our lives have a lot of parallels including growing up Mormon and figuring out we were gay in adulthood! I can't wait to learn more and read your books. A few questions from this episode:
1. If fear and anxiety comes from language, how come some dogs have severe anxiety? You mentioned animals live without anxiety, but that's not what I have seen.
2. I'm a graphic designer and photographer, so I create 8 hours a day. And I have had plenty of anxiety attacks in the middle of creating. Why is that?
After having watched the full episode I now see myself with different eyes!! It is not me being odd, the world is odd! 😅For instance, I never liked sitting on chairs, especially in a workshop. I always set or even lay down on the floor if possible. That way I felt more comfortable, but felt as if I was odd as everyone was sitting in chairs.
I gonna watch this again as there is lots of valuable information such as to really feel the sentence 'I am meant to live in peace.'.
Thank you for this awesome interview. Would love to hear more from her.
Message from the universe? I just finished the podcast with Mel Robins with Dr. Beck, and now this one pops up. I didn't choose either one.
She is wonderful!
It's called AI powered RUclips algorithms. 😂
I love this episode so much. Thank you to all three of you!❤
I think something worth mentioning is that being honest isn't something that everyone's nervous system is capable of. If when your young you get the impression that if I'm honest I'll get in trouble, and I'm going to get beat your not going to feel safe being honest. She mentioned ppl who repeated her practice said they alway feel scared now, and that's probably why. Not that I'm downing her work or what she's saying, just throwing this out there for anyone who tried this and their body has this intense reaction ❤
I don’t know how I feel about your guest today. Some of it seemed spot on but some seemed out there. I grew up Mormon and my experiences were very different and yet I’m no longer a believer either. I’ll probably be thinking this for the rest of the day
I recently discovered her when I read one of her books, which reads like the Bible for INFJs, and you're right she is pretty far out there. She describes incredible, super natural experiences. Same time, her credentials (from LDS to Yale) check out, from what I understand.
Big fan here.
Best to you ~
I feel the same 🤔 she's like all over the place
Has anyone listened to the Telepathy Tapes? When Martha speaks about her beautiful son Adam, you sense the same magic in him as in the non-verbal community that the Telepathy Tapes explores - we are more than this body and brain ❤
Literally came on here to recommend them to Mayim and Jonathan! I’ve got a few episodes left and the whole series is just amazing.
@@Pollycat15
Me too!
whoa mind blown best podcasst everrrrr!!!!! 🤩😍😃
I love this episode great topic the guest speaker was phenomenal I really resonated with her and things she had to say. I am a big fan of your podcast you both do such a great job I love the guests and the topics.
Thanks so much, Sarah!! 🧠🫶
Dr. Bialik, I appreciate how your podcast stimulates my thinking. No lie. lol. And, I have to push back about the "lie" issue. I think Dr. Beck needs to clarify the difference between a culture of harmful and debilitating self-denial and a culture of common consideration of others' feelings. The latter is also crucial to our mental health and our ability to live in community with others. I had a friend who always said exactly what she thought, no matter how offensive or insensitive. She was proud of this. She informed people that she would always tell the truth even if it hurt. She died last year from self-starvation. She was alone. No one wanted to be around her anymore. Her family and friends estranged her because they couldn't tolerate her brittle, caustic, and yes, honest, personality. The only person in her life, when she died, was an old acquaintance who latched on to her at the end of her life and got her to sign over all of her wealth. It's such a tragic story. I think of her whenever I temper what I say to someone if I know the direct truth will be hurtful or damaging, or ineffectual. Often the direct truth puts people on the defensive and creates conflict and instability. I usually revisit the subject with the person later after I've found a way to communicate the truth in a constructive way. And I don't feel fractured or broken. Perhaps the key to Dr. Beck's theories is to learn effective communication. Great interview. Thank you. No lie.
The friend I referred to in this comment had interstitial cystitis and died of complications because she stopped eating and became so weak that she couldn't fight off a common cold.
Dear Jonathan and Myiam,
I hope you’re both doing great. I loved this episode. I’d love to suggest an episode that might resonate with many listeners-one that explores the experience of dealing with immediate family, particularly parents, who strongly align with MAGA beliefs. For those of us who have had to sever ties with family because of this, it would be helpful to discuss the emotional and psychological impact of that decision.
I also think it would be insightful to talk about the trauma that comes from being misled by family about one’s identity, upbringing, and institutions like the Catholic Church. Personally, I’ve felt the lasting effects of these issues. Additionally, the myths we were told as children about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and other figures, though often seen as harmless, may have a deeper impact than we realize.
Thank you both for the incredible work you do and for the comfort and insight your podcast has provides me.
Warm regards,
T
Best interview. Thank you!
My biggest lie is constant, in I am always having to conform professionally to keep the peace so to speak. I feel I can’t be myself in this regard. There are so many rules, I can’t be myself. Great video thank you.
I love Martha! And I love how impactful she has been for so many including myself. I am sorry for her horrific experience of abuse growing up 😞. I can’t help but be sadden as a member of the LDS church by her statements about “Mormonism”. I am certain that those claims she was taught as a child are not true LDS doctrine .
I am happy she found peace elsewhere! 🙏🏼
Yey! New episode! ❤😊 Thank you for this amazing episode! 😊
I LOVE her!
I was given up from my family of birth at age 6. My sister was 3. The foster family and adoptive family were alcoholic and abusive. I wish for peace and love.
I think it's better to be abused by a stranger than by ones own parents.
That alcoholic and abusive family saved your life.
@@aammssaamm what a horrible thing to say. Unless you know them, you don't have any idea about the specific situation -- the birth family might have been better, or better yet they weren't raised by alcoholic and abusive families.
@ For some reason you don't consider your verbal aggression "a horrible thing to say". The birth family gave them up. Try using your brain, babe, and learn some meditation.
@@aammssaamm
I think both of the comments you have made here are without use.
This is an amazing conversation!! So many lies came to mind, yikes 😬
Really enjoying this and I’m just coming on here to recommend the podcast The Telepathy Tapes )as someone else has!) Absolutely mind blowing !
Unconsciousness is the greatest sickness of humanity. I hope to be ready to share my story some day, even with all my abusers still being alive and me being disowned and my experiences being disbelieved.
No matter whatever you do
To me you will always be Dr. Amy
The ballroom scenario is very literally helpful for me haha.
My body spoke loud to me when suddenly a man I knew said a very sick thing in my ear. I knew he had been accused of sexual misconduct and put on probation at his job twice! I looked up to this person and supported his dialog around these accusations because I wanted to seem objective in a recovery group we were in. Well, that changed forever when he pulled a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on me.
I'm ex-mormon too! I could relate to her on that issue. Leaving that religion began a journey of truth and light that is hard to explain. Anyway, thank you for this podcast!! So interesting! 🙂❤
Thank you 🙏 ❤
I was desperately searching for this looking for this episode for a friend about lying. Did you change the title recently?
Awesome episode ❤
👋😏👋 Another Fantastic Episode 😊👍✊😆✊👊🍁
I love this woman
I'm not sure where to put a suggestion for a guest. I'm hoping this will do. Mayim, I would love to have you and Jonathon interview KenDBerry MD. He's really engaging and would be a good point of view. He promotes a carnivore lifestyle. Obviously, a much different way of eating from YOU 🙂
Mayim, you always been my hero! I watched you on the tv show Blossom! May I give you some advice?! Have you ever thought about taking a graphics designs class?! Especially in adobe photo shop! Because it works with positive, and negative image.
Your biggest fan!
Jaime West
PS. Sorry for my bad grammar! lol
I have such a traumatic story on lying... My grandmother found out that I started using my left hand to right. This is second grade. I've been writing for 3 years now. Since preschool. I'm a left-handed individual. Well my grandmother is a preacher. A rev.
She proceeds to tell me. That left-handed individuals are evil. Excuse me I tell her. Your daughter, my mother. She writes with her left hand. It was huge it was a fight. I was not letting down. I was not going to let her call my mother evil. I had that info from her. I had to learn how to write with my right hand and take a test. I failed the test. I made a lie about my grade. But it was just a fib lie. Because I was allowed to retake the whole test.
My teacher Ms.Sumners, was mortified when she found out why I switched my hands. She did not expect that excuse to come out of my mouth. My grandmother thinks that all left-handed individuals are evil. My mother is a lefty. My grandmother babysits me every single day. She's telling me that me riding with my left hand his blasphemous and I'm evil.
well. After this whole event. Christmas Eve day all the info is found out. I'm mortified I lied. It was my first major lie..
That day my mom taught me a serious lesson about lies. She sent me downstairs. And told me she would call me up in a couple hours. I could hear her making bread. Then she called me upstairs.
She made a whole bunch of little buns. These were little white lies. I had to hold out my arms together and hold all the White lies together and remember all of them. Then she made bigger buns with chocolate sauce all over them. The lies get darker. You got to remember them. You've got to keep them all up. And then she dumped 3 lb of dough on me. Hold it up. Keep the lies up she said..
This event. Changed me. As a matter of fact my husband says," you have an unbelievable ability to deliver truth uncomfortable truth comfortably." ... That I do, for that very event..
When you asked me do I look bad. I'm going to tell you sweetheart you look bad. You might want to go turn around and take care of yourself and I'll wait another hour.
My husband tells me I have a poetic way of delivering truth. Uncomfortable very comfortably. Thank you Grandma for that horrible event. But you made me a truther. I don't like lying. What I went through was traumatic. A lot of people don't like me because I'm too truthful. That's okay.. I don't like liars.
27:20 Excellent question!!! Thank you
Great episode, Mayim! ❤️
It will be interesting to see what happens to Gen Z who cannot tolerate any level of discomfort. I have to explicitly teach my young clients how to get comfortable with discomfort because they not only have 0 resilience, they demand that the rest of the world accommodate them so they never have to be uncomfortable. I get it, we need to be more aware of our body and how to acknowledge what it needs without damaging our health, but we also need to tolerate, endure, and cope with our own discomfort when other's needs are more important. Without balance, we can unwittingly create a culture of sociopathy.
Tbh, at first, I was about to pushback, regarding how lying affects our physical bodies. However, in watching this podcast, I can see how organized religion feeds homophobia. It's one thing to say homophobia is wrong. However, the reality is that millions of people in this country are Democrats and homophobic. How do we reconcile these 2 diametrically opposed realities? Imho, I feel that Democrats need to address this, before they impose their anti-homophobia agenda on the people around them. For example, Democrats decided without input from the Latino community to relabel them as Latin-X without confronting the homophobia in the Latino community. As with all of these podcasts, there is a lot to unpack. Keep up the awesome work, Mia and Jonathan. And, take care. 💜
Daily I'm forcing myself to say "fine" or "no, nothing's wrong" to my program director in a post-grad cert program. It's just that many of my problems stem from her and I don't know that she is mature enough not to hold that over my head; so if she won't drop it I just say "I'm tired."
I want to try the no-lying thing so badly, but I worry I may be treated unfairly in the program.
What happened to your theme song. I Ioved it.
For so long my job at at least two places was to lie for my bosses. I was a receptionist, a gate keeper. And I can say that it physically hurt me. I had one boss who didn’t want me to lie for her (the other two bosses were men) and I experienced so much less stress with her.
I'm glad she didn't loose her kids. My ex took my kids when I came out.
I'm gonna need to get paid for this advice.
It like Pinocchio on you get pain or disease instead of your nose growing.
I’d love for them to interview Marisa Peer
Yay!! new episode so glad you're safe from the wildfires!
People are sometimes assholes. I learned at a young age to watch, since I'm different. And I've always stayed outside others. I do everything on my own, but I like People, helping others. I just also see all the uncompassionate, lying, angry, its all so draining. So alot of time, I help than get shoved back off by myself when people get what they need from me. So while I help when I can, but life is hard enough just protecting myself
THANK YOU! Someone finally points out what drives me NUTS about sit-coms! In fairness, these comedy farces go back to Shakespeare and beyond.
Anyone connected to Oprah should be questioned. Oprah is an awful person I would never listen to anyone who told her how to live her life.
"Sometimes I'm a baboon without socks" :DD
I'm autistic and I don't know how to lie. I have issues because it. People like lies.
That's how I feel too, and I don't think I'm in the spectrum, but since I was a kid I'd feel uncomfortable pretending to be "happy" as my mom would force me to smile when going out and stuff like that. I had to learn the hard way that when people ask "how are you?" They don't really want to know how you are :'(
Stay your beautiful self. We need your wisdom in our society.
On earth as it is in heaven🕊️
Thank God she is a Saggitarius Sun, and Mercury also. Mayim you also have that, and me too 😂.
For someone who is talking about how we are conduits of energy essentially, then why does Dr Beck shoot straight to psychedelics and not meditation? In fact she brushes over meditation as that’s what Asian cultures do. Creating another form of “othering” of humanity. It’s Ironic given Mayim starts off saying medical plug and play approach. But that is the approach Dr Beck is essentially promoting, at least in this podcast.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm at 11:50. I feel like we could solve a whole lot of problems if more of us grasped the damaging nature of how people, specifically parents, are attempting to live out religious values, and many of the tropes and motivations that tell us to subjugate ourselves to a higher power or aspirations ends up subjugating or shaming ourselves to death.
I'm done,just because she mentioned Oprah!
❤❤❤❤
She's lying. The surgeon wouldn't have panicked. They would've checked her vitals. Signs of stress would be an elevated heart rate and blood pressure.
Tears can be from many things, and had they further sedated her based on that alone, they would've risked suppressing her breathing too much.
Mayim, I would think you'd vet your guests.
Well…Oprah….
@jacquelynndee4321 can you elaborate? It sounds like you're calling me Oprah lol
That part made me frown in doubt 🧐 the guest is funny and entertaining, but some of the things she said are a bit too out there for me.
@@babyruthless9670 agreed!
Wow, when Dr. Beck brought up the part about Jeff Bezos and waking up fearful, it brought up a realization the 1984 George Orwell is here. I already sort of knew it, but it’s another example. Hum
“What if they held a war, and nobody came.”
Who killed DDE II?
What if there ARE fairies!?
❤❤❤
Enough with the advertisements!!
I was not only brought up in the cult of Jehovah’s Witness’s but even before that I was told a lot “You’re such a “tomboy”.
Ok, yes, it turns out that’s how I was born.
That's because you have a conscience! Trump is still going. 🧟
@34:18
I dislike being told, "you look nice". You never said that the last ten times I saw you.
Honestly I don’t really lie Maybe once in a great while there’s a thing I say that’s not true but not too often. Not that I’m superior or anything I was raised by a pathological liar and the effect in me is I can’t tolerate lying. The thing is at work I’ve seen people go far by lying. It’s just not something I’m willing to do. So I don’t get what she is saying about all these women lying.
This woman oversimplifies complex topics. A bunch of nice sounding fluff.