How I get more sleep as a new mom WITHOUT Sleep Training!
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- Опубликовано: 29 июн 2024
- How this new mom gets more sleep without sleep training!
#nosleeptraining #sleeptraining #heyshayla #newmom
I will admit I'm someone who doesn't NEED a full 8 hrs of sleep a night. However, I do think that we do get more sleep (even though she still wakes up a few times a night).
This is not for everyone, but if you and your partner prefer (and schedule allows) a more gentle approach this is ONE way that you can do it!
Tell me, how did you get the most sleep? Did your baby have their own room? Did you sleep train? No wrong answer here, I think it's interesting to learn what other people do and what works for them!
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0:00 How I got extra sleep the first year of having a baby
1:26 BED SHARING breastfeeding moms get 45 extra minutes of sleep a night
1:35 what is the difference between co-sleeping and bed-sharing
1:51 La Leche league international (breastfeeding and bedspring resource)
2:44 you and your baby’s sleep cycles sync when you’re a breastfeeding bed-sharing mom
cards
2:56 side nursing helps to get more sleep
3:09 bed sharing breastfeeding moms don’t typically know how many times their baby wakes up
3:38 baby’s Montessori Floor Bed, no crib
4:00 What to do when your baby crawls during bed sharing
4:10 Western cultures aren’t set up for bed sharing
4:18 Dad’s don’t have the same instincts as mom during bed sharing
4:22 what is the cuddle curl
4:41 how to stay warm while breast-feeding at night
5:11 Safe Sleep Seven from La Leche league
5:15 non smoker if you’re bed sharing
5:43 Sober if you are bed sharing with your baby
6:04 Breastfeeding keeps you in tune with your baby while bed sharing
7:34 your baby is healthy and full-term
7:54 why we bed share
8:14 your baby sleeps on their back
8:32 not swaddled or overdressed
8:42 Safe surface (not sofa, not couch, no soft mattress)
9:32 no cords, no big giant comforter
10:17 MORE information La Leche League International llli.org
Thank you for doing this video! I’m a labor and delivery nurse and all we are allowed to teach is no bed sharing but we should be teaching how to safely bed share! In nursing school we were taught that now we are educating heroin addicts how to safely clean their needles instead of telling them to stop doing drugs but we can’t safely teach parents about bed sharing??? Also, sooo many moms do it and everyone just lies about it and stays hush hush 😂
Love this topic. I used to be a “by the book” person....then I became a mom. There is no one size fits all with babies.
COULD NOT AGREE MORE!! I think it’s important to support each decision instead of judge too! There’s a million reasons to do it differently!
I was the same!!!!! Then my boy came and scrambled my brain lol bedsharing, feeding on demand, cloth diapering but using disposables at night time, sometimes not following a schedule at night… it’s tough bc it messes with my mind🥴but I’m happier
Across all things that we are told we “shouldn’t do” educating how to do it safely is ALWAYS better than just “don’t do it!”
Thank you for sharing. The 7 are awesome guidelines!
I said I would never bedshare but then I had a baby who would cry anytime I put her down... it's seriously the best and the sync of sleep makes soo much sense
Yes!!
Same situation here. We both get great sleeps now :)
No it doesn’t lol there he no syncing of a sleep schedule with a baby and an adult 😂
That’s completely made up
Thank you for talking about this!!! We’re a bedsharing, breastfeeding, cloth diapering family and we get a lot of unwanted opinions on our choices but it works for our family. Those unwanted opinions come from a lack of knowledge so thank you for shedding some light on this specific topic!
Lmao no, my opinion on not bed sharing comes from tragedy of wonderful parents who killed their child for doing exactly that.
It’s not f*cking worth it when I can do so many other things for 45 mins of extra sleep that doesn’t involve endangering my child.
I could not agree more! We did this with our second child out of shear exhaustion and survival. I have incredibly fond memories of that time. Thanks for being parent positive - there is no “one size fits all.” All parents are different and each child is unique. I appreciate you being brave enough to discuss what can be an intensely emotional and polarizing topic. 💜
I've bed shared with all 3 of my kids so far and it's so fantastic! I feel like I sleep all night even with a 1 month old because when baby wants to feed I'm sleeping on my side and just pull her to where she can latch and we both continue sleeping while she eats.. I don't tell most people because I feel like it's so controversial, but it's been great for us!
My fear would be when they stop breastfeeding, is it difficult to get them to stay in their own bed and not come into yours? How do you wean them out of your bed? I don’t think I want a toddler + in bed with me. But I know some people are okay with that.
@@youngboydan4153 i never had a problem with them coming in my bed at night after I sleep trained them. I night weaned my kids over the course of a few weeks, slowly increasing the time frame that I wouldn't let them nurse (ex. Nurse at 7pm before bed, then no more nursing until after 12am then a few nights later when they aren't even trying to nurse until after 12am, not letting them nurse until 2am, then 4am, 6am, and finally 8am at which point they're night weaned). Doing it slowly over time makes it so my milk production adjusts and I don't get an infection, but also their bodies adjust and there's almlst no fussing on their part. Once they're weaned at night they're pretty close to sleep trained, at which point if I put them to sleep in their own room or crib in our room they just sleep all night there.
@@dancika123 thanks so much for sharing!
I do the same
I really miss when you used to say a little bit granola !! But I love watching ! You I inspire me so much !
Haha done and done I’ll as that to the begging lol
I was thinking the same thing during the intro lol
From all I’ve been learning about the benefits of bedsharing, I would LOVE to bedshare with my future children. My mom did hardcore cry-it-out sleep training, because that’s what she was told to do, and I never ever got to share a bed with my parents, at any point throughout my childhood. I really wish I had had that. I can’t wait to give that to my kids.
I've been bed-sharing since day 1, so happy you're talking about this 🥳 I read about it during pregnancy and was sold immediately. Baby is now 2.5 weeks old and I'm NOT sleep deprived at all 😁 absolutely love it. Always thought I'd use a bassinet or something but this is so much better. Edit: it did take me two weeks to get the hang of side-laying nursing though! In the beginning I had to sit up to feed to make sure I got a pain-free latch. But now it's working!
This was amazing for me and my husband, too. I got SO. MUCH. MORE. SLEEP. Than I ever would have otherwise. It was amazing. To the point where I was a little confused when we left the newborn/infant days because I kept trying to reconcile how little sleep people would say and joke about parents of babies not getting with the actual amazing amount of sleep I enjoyed virtually every night. I personally get less sleep now with my son as a toddler with him in his own room versus when he was a baby. 😅
Tired toddler mama here. I clicked this video so fast, but we already bedshare! Hahaha. Guess the extra sleep will come someday and I’ll miss my little snuggle buddy. Thanks for normalizing bed sharing!
Yes! Love this! I’ve been bedsharing since my son was 4 months. I never thought I would, but it has worked so well for us!
Man I really respect the heck out of you. You shared this super personal info knowing how controversial it is just for the simple fact that it's better to give the safe and correct info than not talk about it at all. Bravo! This video literally could not have come at a better time for us. We are bed sharing out of necessity right now I didn't know the guidelines or much about it. It's not my favorite, my husband and I don't get much alone time so I really need our bedroom to be ours. I'm looking into a montessori bed (thanks for that too!) since I side nurse to sleep and don't want to stop doing that. You're awesome and thanks for all the awesome vids!
You are such a genuine, sparkly RUclipsr Shayla. Thanks for being you. I’m just nodding my head throughout this whole video. Bed sharing was something I always judged and then I had one of those babies who needs that closeness. It’s been not only a way I have been able to function so well as a Mum (kiwi so not mom hehe) but really beautiful and sweet.
This is so interesting! I never even realized there were guidelines for safe bed sharing! It always just seemed super scary and I was afraid to try it. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Shayla.... this is such an important conversation for mamas and babes!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
This is so interesting I love the bed sharing idea I actually do it when my husband leaves for work lol so my baby can sleep in with me. I have done it at night but I honestly cannot get good sleep. I’m actually more anxious about him falling off or my husband rolling over him. But I LOVE waking up next to him he smacks me the face but it’s ok because then I see him smile and then I smile
Love this! Have watched all of your videos but never commented until now. Thank you for speaking on this!! I also swear by it.
We bedshare ! Didn’t mean to just ended up doing it !
6 months later and still love it 😍 get soooo much sleep !!
Yeeeeees! We need more people talking about this! My midwife taught us how to safely bedshare when my babe was born 2.5 months ago and it's a game changer.
FTM here in my 3rd tri, and totally planning to bedshare/breastsleep with all the safety measures in place. But you're right, not a lot of people talk about it so it's hard to get info and help when you know that's what you want to do. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
Yes!! Oh good, I’m glad you found it helpful!
Very very well done video on this topic, love to see it! Keep up the good work!
Thank you for talking about this! We’ve been bed sharing and it just came down to doing this or not sleeping and being a zombie. It’s the only way I wake up rested and I genuinely love it. I can’t bring myself to “sleep train”. Bed sharing is perfect... I wish more moms talked about it so we don’t feel ashamed like we’re doing something wrong.
Thank you for talking about this! We bedshare and I cannot imagine doing it any other way. I love having my baby close to me. We did lots of research on doing it safely before baby was born and have felt very good about our decision.
So glad you talked about this!!! I’m pregnant with my first and am predicting that I will bedshare and have been wondering how to do it safely because everyone says “don’t bedshare!” I’ve also heard that tons of other countries do it. Great video!
Good I’m glad this was helpful!!
Looove this channel ! Have learned so much & can’t wait to meet my little in October 🌿 I find a lot of joy & positive truth on your channel ☺️
I LOOOOOVE THIS!!!! Thank you!
Yesssssss!!!! Finally an honest video about bed sharing! We have bedshared since baby was born and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I researched safe bedsharing and the safe sleep 7 when I was pregnant. Best choice ever.
I LOVE that you made this after you said in your floor bed video "I've been told not to tell people how we sleep". Haha! I appreciate all of this insight for sure! My baby will be here in two ish months and I HAVE NO IDEA what we're going to do about sleep.
Yes thank you!!! We’ve been bed sharing since day 1, baby just turned 2 months. I knew safe bed sharing guidelines thanks to my midwives and coworker, and La Leche League. We love it. I also feel like it’s the secret to not being sleep deprived, I never know exactly how many times baby wakes up either. Some nights I just know in the morning that he woke up more often than usual.
Thank you for your bravery in posting this!!
I have never agreed so much with a video! Before Iooking at the la leche league guidelines, I would fall asleep out of pure exhaustion in unsafe positions while fighting to keep him in the bassinet. I feel way more comfortable with our bedsharing and we are all well rested!
Yessss! Finally someone is talking about bed sharing in a positive way 🙏 I can totally relate to everything you’ve mentioned... and the Mean Girls top!? genius 😂
Girl! This video is EVERYTHING!!!!! My mom told me my whole life that she bottle fed and I slept thru the night in my own crib by the time I was just a few weeks old. I was 29 when I had my first and worked full time. I breast fed because my husband encouraged me to, and I bed shared because my husband said it wasn't natural for baby to be separated from mom after 9 months of living in the same body. I did try to get up and feed for a while, but I always fell asleep in the chair and it wasn't very safe. So bed sharing began. I will say that my husband at 6'6" is a very large man and my arm or any other body part wouldn't stop him if he rolled over. So Lea slept with me curled around her facing out. I am an extremely light sleeper and I usually kept a folded blanket by the bed just in case. I think she fell out once when she was around 9 months old. I just picked her up and she never even woke up. When she wiggled I woke up and latched her and we just kept on snoozing. It was the best! I don't remember how many times she woke in the night either, because basically it made no difference. However, her 3 siblings had a different opinion of bed sharing. One of my girls would nurse in bed with me in the night and then fuss and squirm until I put her in the crib in our room. One refused to fall asleep while laying down and nursing, she liked to play. So I nursed her to sleep every night in a rocker and if she woke up in the night she would nurse and sleep with me the rest of the night. The baby of the family was pretty well spoiled and stayed up late and nursed to sleep while I read a book and then he slept with me thru the night also. I should say I was self employed with the last 3. My youngest will be 10 soon and I still don't really tell people I bed shared unless they bring it up. Everyone has an opinion! We met all of the criteria to do it safely and it all worked out. Thank you for telling people how to safely do this. I think too many people believe that if they just say no don't do it, then everyone will listen. Better to let them make an informed decision in my opinion. Bravo!!! I love your videos. I didn't do some of the things you have done, but I applaud you for doing them. We all have to find out what works for us and keeps us sane and functiinal. I have no plans to have more kids, but I love your videos just the same!
Your baby fell out of the bed because you were irresponsible and shared a bed and were asleep while the child wasn’t protected
“I’m an extremely light sleeper but I didn’t know that my newly 9 month old infant fell out of the bed” 😂😂 BRILLIANT parenting 🎉
thank you for making this video and keeping the comments open lol. bed sharing is such a taboo and so hard to find good/positive info on it.
This is sooo helpful!! I’m 7 months pregnant and planning to bed share from the beginning and have been having so much trouble finding information on how to do it safely. Everyone usually just shuts it down which makes it even harder for moms to get useful information on how to do it right!
Agreed!! I’m glad this was helpful and congratulations!!
I'm a first time mom and I started bed sharing because my newborn would lay in her bassinet literally 1 inch away from me in bed and would spit up and choke a little while laying on her back it was scary. So I felt better just to be able to have her right next to me because even though the bassinets an inch away I still have to look at her realize what's happening quickly get up and get her out. Another tip for safe bed sharing I read was to use seperate blankets but I dressed my daughter in the sleepers with feet that zip up so she wouldn't need a blanket. But now she gets kinda warm with my body being next to her , she's a month now and doesn't like being swaddled anymore , so I dress her in a romper (got them at Walmart) and cover her up to her belly button with her own blanket and tuck it underneath her body and that works . Hope this helps you as well
Have a look at the Lullaby trust about safe sleeping, they say about best practice.
I love finding other moms that bedsharing! It makes me feel so much better.
So glad you are putting this out there! I also bedshare with my baby and I actually sleep better than before I had him 😂 I was actually recommended (sort of off the record) by my midwives because I wasn’t sleeping the first nights after delivery, and then I just stuck with it because it was working so well. Didn’t get much advice on how to do it safely but pretty much ended up following the tips you mentioned anyway (just makes sense, I guess). I also feel like I have this “secret” but mostly because I’m too afraid to tell anyone since they might scold me 🤪 but honestly, when I hear about other parents’ sleepless nights and their babies who won’t stop crying when they try to put them to sleep, I don’t understand why I’m the one doing something wrong 🤷♀️
P.S. a tip when it comes to clothing: try a nursing top with spaghetti straps (unlatched) and a shirt or t-shirt over it! 🙃
Thank you for sharing and talking about this topic!! Our baby is 2 months old and we’ve been bed sharing from the start. When we first brought her home I was so afraid of SIDS I tried to get her to sleep in her bassinet... which just resulted in both of us crying. The sleep deprivation was real and I needed something that worked. She slept on my chest for the first 6 weeks 😳 so I could feel her breathing. Now she sleeps on her side and I think she sleeps through the night... just like you, if she wakes up idk lol. Love that you can just pop them back on the boob.
Love your channel, it’s been soooooo helpful!! 🙏🏽
Yes!! I totally thought I was gonna sleep train to get better sleep... after researching it... Wow, no thanks. So glad we are bed-sharing. We sleep so much better at night. I'm tired, but not exhausted!
Great video!! I somewhat do this, I “side car’Ed” my baby’s bed next to ours , our bed wasn’t quite big enough for 3, but it works and he loves it and he also did that same thing where he would fall asleep and than stick his arms straight out to sleep, so cute!! He’s 10m now so sleeps in all kinds of positions but he’s still right there next to the bed in his crib with 1 side taken off and up against the wall. I found that way of “co -sleeping” when looking into it and it seemed great and works amazing!!
I was 1000% against it, then my daughter spent two nights in the hospital at 3 months old and it freaked her out. She wouldn’t sleep anymore unless I held her. Night after night of staying awake all night rocking her became dangerous. And one night I dozed off and she slipped in between my arm and the chair. Thank god I woke up. It was after that I decided safely sharing a bed was much safer than what we were doing at the moment. And after that I slept soooo much better than even before the hospital stay
Thank you for talking about bed sharing! It’s become so controversial but it’s been so wonderful for us !!
Same! It works for some, it doesn’t for others and that’s okay
Loved the video, Shayla
I’m a new mom and had terribly anxiety about bed sharing, but it was the only way to get my baby to sleep. I paired bed sharing and safe sleeping with the owlet monitor as an extra level of precaution and it has helped me got more sleep and feel less anxiety. I often feel shame when people ask how we sleep because I know bed sharing is so controversial. Thanks for sharing!
Such a good idea with the owlet!!!
Love bed sharing! Have our 2 year old and 6 month in our bed every night. It’s our family bed! It won’t last forever, I know it will end, doesn’t bother us one bit. We all get great sleep! Will never understand why doctors scare moms.... so many people could be getting so much sleep and probably have things be so much easier if it was taught safely
Watching this while my second daughter sleeps between my husband and I. I love bed starting it makes my life so much easier. I highly recommend it to my girl friends all the time. Great video!
Love that you are sharing about co sleeping! It’s saved me as a momma of 5 now. Natural parenting for the win! I set a 20k subscriber goal recently. Hoping I can get there soon!
Crossing my fingers for you!!
I put my 5mo baby in bassinet around 9pm, I go to bed around 11pm. He wakes up around 11p & 1am. I put him back in his bassinet. My husband gets up at 4am, and baby wakes up too. Then I put him in bed (since dad’s not in bed to worry about), the we sleep solid until 7am. I have my 3 hr power nap before the day starts 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼
🙌🙌
I can't get enough of your videos. Love seeing another granola mom RUclipsr 🥰
Love everything you said in this video!! I follow the Safe Sleep 7 as well! I started bedsharing with my little one at 4mo old because she became UNTRANSFERABLE to her crib. My husband rolls around a lot when he sleeps (which annoys me so much) so he's been in the guest room ever since. I much prefer sleeping with the little one, LOL!! We also start her first sleep stretch alone on a floor bed (beside my main mattress on the floor) and then after I go to sleep for the night, I put her beside me whenever she calls for me. I feel like I get way more than 45min of extra sleep a day since we started bedsharing. Love love love it!!
Oh yeah. Cosleeping/bed sharing and totally well rested with a 2 month old.
Bedsharing literally saved my sanity 😊. Once my baby was about 3 months we started bedsharing and I went from being miserable and sleep deprived, to happy and well rested! :) she is now 18 months old and we are just now starting the process of having her sleep at least half the night in her own bed. It was the only thing that worked for my family and I plan to bedshare again with my second if he is not sleeping well on his own. 😊. Thank you for talking about this as a valid option and educating people on how it is done safely!
We had a great experience bedsharing!!
We just put the mattress on the floor until my son was about two and then we moved the mattress onto a bed frame. When my daughter came along, we made a family bedroom with a king bed, queen and a toddler bed all in a row. The kids stayed with us until they were seven and four. We have a wonderful bond with each other and I think breastfeeding and bedsharing set us up for that.
I was sure my first was going to sleep in a crib but it didn’t work for us at all.
Love family beds!! I want to do that in the future :D
This question comes with zero judgement whatsoever. I am curious if this impairs intimacy with your partner?
@@xodanigani you just do it in another room when they are sleeping. It makes it much more meaningful and just requires "seizing the moment" when its available, lol sex can happen any time in any place!
I literally did the mean girls shirt & it's a brilliant idea for nursing :)
Hubs and I have ADHD, and are extremely clumsy- so we always felt like we couldn’t safely pull off bedsharing. Luckily our lil one sleeps through the night in her own crib since 5 months. So far so good but I truly support that everyone has their own situation that works as long as it’s safe.
I'm so happy to see this video 😊 I'm in the UK and it's less taboo here but still not widely done, but I know in the US it can be hugely frowned upon to bed share, even women are asked to sign a disclaimer saying they won't bed share before leaving hospital, which is just shocking.
Bed sharing is natural and so so much safer than sitting up for hours a night a potentially falling asleep nursing. I started bed sharing during the lovely 4 month regression, where my daughter was waking every 45 minutes and feeding for an hour at a time.
There's still some rough nights, now shes big enough to beat me up throughout the night, but its so much easier to just survive
Thank you for doing this video, finally I heard justification for what I’ve been doing is OK. I share bed with my 5 month old and dad sleeps with our 6 year-old. This is the way we get most sleep right now, as my son wakes about every hour or so. I also have a knee problem, so carrying him aroubd during the day is already difficult, so just laying during the night is a must for me, so that I can remain pain-free. We do have a room and crib for him, but only used for playtime. We’ll see. Thanks again for helping normalize what I naturally tended to do, so that I no longer feel like doing sth wrong or non-traditional. ❤
I didn’t know where else to write this, but CONGRATS on 100k subscribers! I just saw it and I know you were working towards that!
Thanks for the videos, my husband and I both love them. We have an 8 month old boy and I think we’ve been watching your videos since April 2020.
Thank you!!!!! Omg how fun!!!right before aj was born!
@@heyshayla Awe I love that! So happy for you guys.
I do this also, I have a next to me crib but as soon as she's up at half 4am she's in the bed side nursing and we both go back to sleep till half 8ish, and the sync thing is soo spot on! I'll always wake up when she wakes.
100% agree!!! Did it with my 2nd, got more sleep than I could've imagined 💕
At about 1 1/2 months I brought my baby in the bed with us and it was LIFECHANGING. My PPA went away and I was no longer jealous of my husband for sleeping through the night. I still get up with my babe to nurse but it’s less often and it’s some nice bonding time just the two of us.
Thanks for normalizing this! I have bedshared with my 14 week old from day one, but had so much anxiety about it to start because of all the fear and shame spread about it in the US. I know a lot of parents are afraid to even discuss it with their pediatrician. We should know it's an option and know how to do it safely! I really cherish it now and know we all get much better sleep.
Exactly! I don't even know how many times we "wake up" in the night 😅
I saw the title and I had to watch. What could this possibly be? How could I get more sleep. Then you said it bed sharing. Well yeah that’s right! We’ve been bed sharing with our 11mo since the start and I am getting pretty good sleep. This was my reminder to have gratitude for how well this is working for us. So I can confirm that this really works and I haven’t felt like a walking zombie since the first month. I feel so much for moms that go through sleep deprivation for months and months. Thanks for sharing!
I’m not a mom but have literally binge watched all of your videos preparing to get pregnant soon. I’m exited to take all this information and use it. I love your vibe, you’re so original and low key would totally be friends with you😂
🙌🙌🙌ayyy welcome! And sending you all the fertility vibes when you’re ready!
Thank you for sharing. I waited to bed share until 9 months but I would have been so much happier if I had done it earlier. I always heard how dangerous it is but it felt so natural. I learned about the safe 7 from a facebook group. People in my family who knew we started bedsharing warned me that she will never leave the bed. Guess what! She went to her own room with no problems at 14 months.
Amazing!!! I hope that is how it goes for us too haha
Would love to know more about how you made that transition smooth! That's my only reservation about bedsharing. I don't necessarily want to sleep with my toddler later on down the road 🤣
@@torielmore7471 I started by rocking her to sleep then putting her in her crib. She would wake up and cry and I would put her in my bed to sleep the rest of the night. Her wake ups became later and later in the night until she slept the whole time. Now I can put her in her bed awake after our bedtime routine and she goes to sleep on her own. I know it's not this easy for everyone so I think I got lucky. But honestly I miss her sometimes in the bed ☹
@@heyshayla Look up the PEDS method (stands for Prepare, Explain, Distract, Support) and the chair method for when you are ready to transition yours to their own bed in their own room! I went from laying with my son for 90 minutes every single night to now being able to do our bedtime routine, kiss him goodnight and LEAVE THE ROOM IMMEDIATELY and he does talks, sings, wiggles himself to sleep. He's 2 and we moved him to his own room at 12 months but didn't do this method until around 20 months when he was really able to communicate and understand a lot better. It is a game changer. I got my evenings back! *Note: When he was little, he would nurse to sleep and I would put him down and have my evenings free. But around 18 months he stopped falling asleep at bedtime nursing session and it took him a very long time to settle down and finally drift off. He still has a hard time shutting his brain off, but at least now I don't have to lay with him anymore. Let me know if you want more detail on how I combined these 2 methods to make it work for us. Always willing to help another mama out!
Love it! I have an 11 month old and I never planned on bed sharing but the first night home from the hospital I couldn’t put him down and he cried if I wasn’t holding me so we did bed sharing and I woke up the next morning and learned how to do it safely! Haven’t gone back and we loooovvveee it!!!
SAME!!
I love bed-sharing! I was so against it when I was pregnant with my first, but it made night feeds so much easier on me (especially while healing from a c-section, where moving is painful). I'm on my second baby now and I didn't even think twice about it! I sleep so well!
I discovered bed sleeping by instinct. Every one told me to put baby in bassinet. After several weeks of almost no sleeping in the middle of night I bring baby to me and we had the best sleep. I woke up in panic thinking I did wrong, so I search and find out it’s not as bad as everyone thinks if you do it right.
Bedsharing has been a norm for me.. love the extra sleep ♥️
My husband and I love bed sharing! Saved our sanity, feels nice usball being together as a family and I know it won't be forever. We do have a king size bed so makes things a bit safer.
Very good video! We have been bedsharing since the 4 month sleep regression and and it's been a life-saver! The first stretch is always in the cot and then she is in my arms. Dad is a smoker though so we sleep in separate beds but our bedroom is huge so we still in the same room haha and we still get to cuddle in the mornings.
Thank you for making this video!! You summed it up perfectly, I feel like its a secret im keeping that we do this! We start the night in her crib, but most mornings when she wakes up around 4 to feed ill bring her into bed with me. We also do lots of our naps in bed together if mama needs some more sleep. Videos like this help break the taboo!
Ps I wear a pretty thin but fuzzy housecoat when were in bed together so the front is open for her but I still have some kind of blanket on my upper body!
I bedshare with my second and it is sooo much better than getting up and down like I did with my first....particularly useful if your baby is hard to transition back to their bed without waking them!
How can you not do it safely? It’s so obvious what you should and shouldn’t do 🤷🏻♀️ im more impressed that your baby only eats a couple times at night. But you’re so right about moms and dads being more/less in tuned with baby
So cool how we naturally sleep in that cuddle curl position :)
Great info! We co-sleep with a travel crib in our room, which works great for us. The morning routine that happened by accident when I was exhausted one morning months ago was that my husband would always change our son and then wake me up to nurse, but we did the side laying breastfeeding that day and it stuck because I got an hour more rest. I am an active sleeper overnight so I never tried the whole night, but I love it for a couple hours in the morning! I’m a pumping mom mostly so I have to stay awake even when he sleeps and this helps me get a little bit more zzzs.
I relate to this 100%! My baby is only 2 months, so we haven't put him on his floor bed yet, but I put him in his bassinet initially and then after his first wake up, I go to bed and bedshare with him. So much easier!
Agreed!!!
Thank you for sharing this! We started bed sharing and am so scared to be shamed that I have only told my mom (who totally supports us.) I told my husband not to tell anyone that our babe sleeps with us. I thought it was so dangerous because of American society but a lot of people are doing it in secret already. Might as well be well educated about it!
Same !
It’s the big motherhood secret that moms are shamed into not talking about but we all pretty much do some form of it!
I don’t know if I tried to do this too late? I was TERRIFIED to bedshare, and was determined not to in the beginning, but when we hit the 4.5 month sleep regression, I was desperate to try anything. However...I couldn’t stay in the same position and I would get cold/uncomfortable, and anytime I would move/change positions, he would wake up. So the couple nights I tried it, he woke up like 6+ times and I WAS WRECKED!! Wanted it to work, couldn’t hack it man. Having him in a crib at the end of our bed, grabbing him when he wakes up, quick nurse, back in bed. Then, when he turned 6 months old, we really worked on the idea of a routine, and communicating to him that it was time to go to bed. I HATED the idea of “sleep training” however, it took maybe 2 nights of putting him down where he would cry for an hour (with me going in and calmly, lovingly communicating that I was there, but he needed to stay in bed), and now, I can lay him down, and he goes right to sleep. I don’t even feel like it was real sleep training because he did it so quickly. He does wake 1-2 times a night, and I just pop into his room, feed him in the dark, make sure he didn’t poop, and he goes right back to sleep. For us, this has made it so I can get a full 8 hours, with the option for 11 if I go to bed when he does :)
That’s AMAZING!!!!!!!
Magnetic me pajamas! Amazing long sleeve top with magnetic front closure. Easy to open to nurse while still staying covered!
Amaaaaaazing!!!!!
Bed sharing was one of the best decisions my husband and I made in the first year of being parents!
Just want to throw it out there , bed sharing is also possible when formula feeding . We started with combination feeding and then transitioned into formula . We bed share and still in sync ,my 6mo wakes once through the night and her dad wakes up and feed . Then he is up in the morning when I am up to feed and play.
You probably got more like 60-120 minutes more sleep per night when your baby was little! It take me about 30 minutes per feed, change, burp, 2-4 times a night. Ugh, wish this was an option for us… glad it’s going so well for you! 😊
I am in medschool and I really needed the sleep so I decided to bedshare. She is 7 months old and she still wakes up 3 times at night but I noticed that I am less tired now that she sleeps in my bed rather than in her crib. Loved the information!
Yay!!!! 🙌🙌
Accidentally happened with us cause of the feeding issue. Turned into a great experience!
I only accidentally discovered bed sharing after trying side lying nursing and woke up freaking out that I fell asleep. Its worth mentioning to anyone who’s scared that their baby won’t ever be able to sleep without them if they bedshare that my 4mo will go down for naps and start of bedtime alone in his bassinet. We only bedshare for his single MOTN feed and first morning nap until we both get up at 8-9am!
I was in the “my baby will NEVER sleep with us” boat...until she screamed every time we tried to lay her in anything that wasn’t our arms. Of all the advice given before becoming a parent, no one warned us that she could possibly hate sleeping in all ‘safe sleep’ vessels we have! Shockingly, my husband pushed to bed-share more than I did and felt like it was unnatural to attempt and expect for a baby to sleep away from their mom.
I had told my pregnant friend I was bed sharing with my 6 month old and she looked me dead in the eye and said “I’ll never do that” and it was sooo awkward. Fast forward 6 months and the first time I met her baby she quickly admitted she’s been bed sharing and she’s so sorry for judging me 😂 no one tells you there’s this secret world of everyone is bed sharing and just lying about it
I never wanted to bed share with my kids, until I had my first. We planned to have her bed in our room for the first year and we end up doing a lot of bed sharing. My partner loved it. I thought he would be against it, but our daughter was so needy and sick that we had to figure a way to survive. She loved sleeping with us, her daddy is really warm and it helped for our tummy problems. I am sleeping better when baby is safe in her bed. Now, she had her room and even at 4 years old, she crawled into our bed sometimes
YUPPPPP. Been bedsharing since day 1 and best thing evaaaaa 🗣🙌🏼 Literally don’t know how many times she wakes to feed. But I can usually gauge when it’s more often than not by how tired I feel in the morning lol I tried the bed side bassinet thing the first night we were home and she just wasn’t having it. I knew deep in my heart we would be bedsharing ❤️
My mom was just explaining this to me today. It seems the most natural.
I agree. doesn’t work for everyone, but we love it
I'm so thankful my baby is pretty chill on the sleeping arrangements *knocks on wood* I definitely sleep better when hes beside me, but a double bed with mom, dad and a growing baby is getting a little tight now haha
I just started watching and 1000% I agree!
I'm on baby #5 of bedsharing. It is wonderful!
And in other cultures this is more the norm.
We bedshare and love it. We are on our 3rd baby and wouldn’t do it any other way. People will always ask how we are sleeping with a concerned face. I just smile and say, “we sleep great!” 😂
I want to discuss sleep and general “transitioning” for my second baby coming in the fall.
With my 1st, I coslept and breastfed for 2 years. I liked having her near me because I wanted to encourage that instinct and bonding especially after she was literally part of my body for 9 months... However, I struggled with knowing when to “transition” to the next phase and I found each transition was SO agonizing for all of us.
Examples:
> when to transition from being with mom (co-sleeping or bassinet for example), to say a CRIB + if baby is right next to mom in whatever capacity and they dry or wake are you grab right away or put arm on them right away doesn’t this make them dependent on you for that instant response (not saying it’s bad) just posing question of - does it make that later transition of them self soothing etc more difficult when you suddenly aren’t responding and what does this all look like. I mean at 3am I wasn’t into letting my 1st scream and scream when she woke so that my hard working husband would then also wake up.
> when and HOW to cut off night BREASTMILK so that it’s easier and HOW/ what to do to get them to sleep and no longer be dependent on those night feedings? I felt like there was yelling and arguing because my 1st was a toddler when I finally took the milk away at night(2yrs). I couldn’t handle not getting any sleep after 2 years of giving my first my all. 🥹
Things I have been told so far:
> I have learned/heard that not letting a baby fall asleep ON you if you’re breastfeeding so they don’t associate “I only sleep if I am on mommy” is a good place to start
> putting them in a crib when they are tired but not yet asleep so they “fall” asleep in their physical space (crib)
> that using crib for naps right away when they are a newborn will more easily develop the habit as opposed to car sleeping more than a crib or a side sleeper more than a crib..
> keeping a lot of noise so they can sleep deep in noise as opposed to being a 👻 when they are asleep. My first is such a light sleeper and we never made a peep!
Sorry this is long winded. I don’t even know what my exact questions are. I just need a better flow and plan to be confident in this second time around that May have worked for several others. So please help! I am more open minded than I used to be! Any little nuance you can share I’d love to hear!!
I read Sweet Sleep by La Leche League and everything about bedsharing or “breastsleeping” just made sense! We love bed sharing.
I love this but we sleep in the basement so it’s always REALLY cold. I’ll have to figure out some things to keep it warmer with no blankets
My twins are almost 3 months and I intended to never bed share and still haven’t yet to this day , unbelievably they both have been sleeping through the night from about 10-7 in their own cribs and usually fall back asleep for another 2-3 hours afterwards for almost a good month now. I’m only 18 so everything’s so new so I just try to be as cautious as possible, I always heard that bed sharing is this terrible thing but I’m glad this video cleared this up so if I ever have to I know what to do and not to do and not feel bad about it :)
Our littlw ivy is 5 months, we have a open cot (snuggle air) attached to the bed and she will be going in her own room at 6 months, we decided to not bed share full time as we want our bed as our space but we have a few times on the difficult sleepless nights or when she had a tummy bug and a cold and felt poorly, we all sleep alot better. Definitely agree everyone is diffrent and has to do whats right for their family. Love your videos, love seeing your method and love your approach 🥰🥰
Yes yes yes!!! I didn’t think I would bed share while breastfeeding. It just naturally happened and I get so much sleep. People always ask how often baby wakes … and I never remember. 🌟
Thank you Shayla. I think us westerners are so afraid of everything (myself included). Anecdotally I knew a mom that did everything by the book and she still lost her sweet angel to SIDS is a crib, alone, on her back. I understand the purpose is a reduction of chances but I truly believe in choosing what’s best for your mind and soul. Not sure if I will bed share, but I really appreciate your perspective and your dedication to still highlighting safety and not just opinion. Love you you girl.
I knew exactly what you were going to say when I watched your intro Because I literally felt the same exact way!! When i started bedsharing and people would ask me how’s baby’s sleep I was like errrr wonderful tbh. I’m not tired. I love sleeping with him. I feel the exact same way as you do. I’ve put a double mattress on the floor for me and my son and a single next to us for my husband ahaha