To get what you WANT, start by wanting it LESS!
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- Опубликовано: 19 май 2022
- Hofmann and Nordgren “The Psychology of Desire”
www.amazon.co.uk/Psychology-D...
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As a mature student applying at the height of Covid, I approached the Oxford admissions process as a practice run for the following year. My goal was to get as far through the process as possible and learn from whatever mistakes that I made.
Although I worked hard, I wasn't overwhelmingly attached to being accepted, and I had rough plans for the upcoming year were I to be rejected. I even thought of dropping out halfway on account of the hefty price associated with taking Oxford entrance exams in my country.
Now, looking back on the work I did to prepare for admissions, I can see how the crippling fear of misfiring "my one and only shot in life" could have done more harm than good.
I wish all future applicants who may be reading this comment section the very best of luck. No matter what happens, honest work will invariably place you in a better circumstance than you were before - sometimes the race track just has a few more turns than expected.
Could it not also be the case that the people who are more chilled about their oxford applications are those that are the most intelligent and naturally talented? They probably feel more confident in themselves and don't feel such a need to prove themselves, because they already know they're clever. And of course they're more likely to get in, because they just have more natural ability...
They also have other options
Thank you for this video. I could relate and understand my emotions better because of how beautifully you explained the psychology behind the human desire. It was quite eye opening.
'desire is the cause of all pain' very true.. :(
I like the analogy of the application to the beginning of a relationship. One doesn't want to appear too eager. 😊
An interesting discussion Matt. Another way that I've thought about this issue is that: the lower the expectations are, the easier it is to meet them. Of course, you should have high expectations and aspirations in life but that should be aspirations and expectations of yourself, and not of others or other entities like Oxford.
I am a first-year student at Worcester College and I find that what has gotten me here is the fact that my sixth form concentrated not on simply Oxbridge applications but also fed us lots of information about degree apprenticeship, gap years, online degrees, and simply do not have a degree and just focus on working. I had a lot of thinking time and advice about whether Oxford would be good for me. I am grateful to be here!
expectations has litttleo do with it.
Another great video, Matt. I happened upon your channel a few months ago and I think you're putting out some great material which has far wider utility than just for applicants to Oxford. Well done!
Fantastic video! Thank you so much 👌
Beautifully spoken
Thanks, I just realized a lot. This is really an eye-opening video.
It literally seemed like you were talking to me! Thanks for pointing out this fatal flaw!
Detachment is key! Thank you😊
Such an insightful video that hit a bit too close to home!
Thank you very much for this and other videos, Sir. By watching them I have acknowledged some important ideas, which I have "seen, but not observed".
opportunities arise in direct proportion to do with out them
Well-spoken and insightful..
Thanks!
I have been through a couple university application cycles for medicine and experienced multiple rejections. I would definitely say that I was personally afflicted by these fundamental cognitive biases which most definitely impaired my performance, leading to very undesirable results. I'm in a much better place now through a serious mental and holistic reevaluation and your words just ring so true. These videos are incredibly insightful as always. Thank you 👏
Thank you for sharing this, and for your kind words.
This is exactly what happened to me when I applied to Oxford. I was 16 at the time, very academically insecure and emotionally unstable. I ended up flunking the admissions test as I was nervous the whole 3 hours
hi, i loved your vidoes
sir can you share Mphil Political sciences interviews questions?
HA. I've read parts of that book (highly reco in the PUA industry... don't ask). I was dreading what you, Matt would say after seeing that title flash up, but then your points were pretty logical and relatable, as I've been 'Person B' (often) and it just sucks. Btw, Oxford wasn't my top choice last year, simply thought it was completely Out-of-Scope, snobby and unattainable. Thank You.
What you say is underpinned by the theory and practice of Rational Emotive Behavioural Theory (and associated coaching).
I can't access the book right now, does anyone know if there is any free summary of the book or more Articles online on this topic, cause all I found are about desire in terms of sex, food, ...
It’s the law of the universe haha
I understand this phenomenon but a relationship analogy is subjective
A goal oriented would be more translative to the context of university applications. Though I agree pedestalising something can make impair ability as it seems out of reach.
It's better to think it's within reach. I'd say this would be more applicable than wanting it less.
Want it less. Tell Michael Jordan or Arnold Schwarzenegger that lol
24k🙄
Man can’t wait to get into Jesus college
But fr jesus college is the first college I know in Oxford
Don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure this one out