I swear to god i would go off on them like how the dudes dressed as girls in the white chicks movie went off on the guys who were staring and saying provocative things to them
Yup, and if you’re a beautiful woman, bouncers will let you in VIP sections for free. That way they get more male clientele that will drop hundreds on a section in VIP.
It's crazy how no one is talking about Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest. This book has secrets that could change everything, but people seem blind to it. Wake up and see for yourself!
When I was 12, I was regularly bullied for my looks by boys older than me. They told me I was the “ugliest girl they had ever seen”. I was so confused because they didn’t know me. They didn’t know if I was nice, they didn’t know if I was mean. They didn’t know my hobbies, they didn’t know I liked to draw, they didn’t know anything. A lot of men and boys do not care about you as a person. Your worth to them is determined by your appearance only. You’re not human, you’re an object. Because of that a lot of us resort to sexualization as a way to feel seen, loved and appreciated. We can say we do it for ourselves. We can say it’s our choice. But a lot of it is just this desperate need to exist in the eyes of others.
Women lie a lot. It's easy to see why a woman dresses as she does. When you show a lot of skin and wear form fitting garments you are looking for attention and validation. When you are truly confident and have healthy self esteem, you don't need validation nor to reveal too much, and you don't need to sexualize your image. As women get older, they begin to realize this more clearly, because they become more self confident and secure in themselves. Even though their youthful looks are fading, you realize that you are a multifaceted human being and not just an object for men's gaze and pleasure. I used to wear pushup bras but I'd always take them off the moment I got home. Also, in my line of work, I had to dress very modestly. The pushup bras were useless and irrelevant, and were replaced by sports bras, which offer much greater support and comfort. Now, I dress how I really love, for comfort. I can still be creative and feminine while modest. And it's liberating to know that people see me as a person of value because of who I am, not because of my body. And it effortlessly weeds out the type of guys who want "fertile" females.
And it's a trap. You won't get love you won't be appreciated or respected by them just because they find you sexually attractive. You'll be a shinier more interesting object. But you remain an object Also, you surely realize that this process is very different for women who grew up conventionally pretty. Being sexualized from a very young age on, those women might never go through the phase of dressing sexy to attract men. On the contrary, they might be more inclined to hide behind clothes to feel safer. Our own experience is never universal for all women
This is how I’ve become. it feels really sh*tty treating my body like it’s something that needs to be hidden, but idk what to do because feeling exposed to creeps feels worse. I always wear baggy shirts and baggy sweats, but sometimes I choose leggings instead of sweats (still wearing a large t shirt that covers my butt) and once I wear leggings I can immediately notice more stares specifically at my legs. I’m still not dressed for the male gaze at all but just wearing something that even slightly shows the curve of my body brings stares to that area. It’s insane.
A bra that fits calculator and sub on Reddit also needs to be mentioned, bras shouldn’t hurt (even for big tattat girls) but beware, push up and buttcrack cleavage is a sign of an ill fitting bras
Compliments are an ego boost and can make your day, doesn't really matter who from, but I much prefer compliments from women on what I'm wearing over men.
(Coming from an intersex person) whenever I look very masc ??? Idk how to describe it other than looking like a cis het man but anyway, I always feel so scared that I’m making a woman uncomfortable by complimenting them or that they think I’m tryna flirt when i genuinely just like their fit or jewellery i will fr explain myself n be like ‘this is platonic I don’t mean to seem odd i just actually rly like dat thing’ coz i panic, i just compliment people in general-men, women n anybody else platonically but the amount of weird men out there is scary ash n i get weird ahh men tryna talk to me when I’m presenting femininely or in drag & they get scared off when I open my mouth HAHAHAHA
I prefer it when kids and women/girls complement me because I know I genuinely look good. But if a respectable guy said it I’d be okay with it, but in this age many of them aren’t coming from a respectable place.
@@SideEyeee_ ? I said cis coz I meant cis? I woulda said normal if I meant normal homie, but I said cis coz normal is a much broader term than cis so I specified😂
Forbidding women from entering into anyplace unless they were heels is one of the most sexist things I have ever heard in my life. The fact that it's legal, and accepted, and easily brushed of, even in this video, is beyond me.
@@evaphillips2102Exactly smh. The words sexist and misogynist are thrown around so carelessly now a days it's almost infuriating. Just go to a different club that's literally it. Plus many women tell other women to wear heels or revealing clothes so the blame goes to them too. I've never really heard any man saying that they like it when their wives or gfs wear revealing dresses. It's mostly other women influencing other women.
@@evaphillips2102 A formal dresscode is different to requiring women to wear a dress and heels. You can follow a formal dresscode and wear neither of those things. The dresscode you're referring to is more like gendered cosplay, and could be called sexist. I generally disagree with any gender-based rules because I don't want my gender (or biological sex) to be an important factor in how people perceive me. I guess some people, consider gender to be important, but I think that should be a personal choice and not enforced as rule.
It's a common misconception that corsets being purely aesthetic they were literally underwear and can have other benefits. I wouldn't personally group pushup and underwire bras together, as someone who needs underwire and/or padding, they're just not the same in my mind
Traditional well fitted corsets feel GREAT especially if you have a bigger chest. It's more surface area and spreads out the pressure, instead of your bra band or straps digging into you. I'm too big to wear bralettes or non underwire bras and I wish proper corsets were more accessible as an option 😭
@@rando3406 the reason it changed was because of the negative stereotype, and using the few women who laced them too tightly to condemn anyone who wore one for any reason
came down here looking for this comment and wondering if someone will also bring up the "sensual flapper dresses" comment that is also severely wrong. Flapper dresses were very loose as well as very rarely worn-only for special party/nightclub occasions by some women. fashion of that era was loose, with no cinched waist, very boxy tops, skirts and dresses. they did not have "sensual" curve hugging clothing like the image she used as an example. both the myth of the corset and the myth of flapper dresses being worn all the time and being tight are myths that have been shaped by the male gaze over time and are very inaccurate.
(some) men keep saying women's compliments are fake because most women always says positive things no matter if it's true or not. The thing is, most women were raised to always be mindful of people's feelings
You can ALWAYS be mindful of people's feelings but still be able to speak Truth when its necessary in a way that will make the other person uncomfortable...the BEst Person to learn from this is Jesus Christ
idk about corsets but once i wore them to be 8 hours in front of a computer, my back pain disappeared. they were made to support our torso. they are so good at supporting your body weight that you cant even wear too much because it could make your muscles relax too much and weaken over time. im convinced the women who view them as just another impractical fashion accessory like high heels never actually wore a fitting corset
@@NicolesBookishNook lower class women would wear them as well, and im sure they werent the most preoccupied with fashion in the midst of taking care of their eleven children while doing all the housework and farmwork
There is definitely a difference between corsets of old that were created for support and properly fit to the woman wearing it, and also was worn over a chemise/slip and not right against the skin-- unlike today's corsets which are made mainly to be sexy and sit right against the skin.
I’m still fairly young. When I was younger at 11 I started puberty before most people around me. It was awkward and uncomfortable for me to hear guys talking about how my body looked. I spent the rest of grade school hiding my body with baggy clothes.
@@LalaluDonutsWithVaniella same my chest developed when I was 7, it was so awkward. Especially for my mom, she was so scared for me. I stopped wearing sleeveless and and shorts around that time. Now that I'm 15 and girls around me are also developed. It's normal for me to wear sleeveless. I'm still not allowed to wear shorts tho. My butt is too big. Even if my parents allow me to wear that, I wouldn't cuz I don't like that attention ew
I find “girl-boss, sexual liberation, for the girls, independent baddie” content still heavily influenced by the male gaze. The female gaze is still influenced by the male gaze and it’s worrying how a lot of girls genuinely believe they’re not affected by it. If it’s catered to women and if its only purpose is to be cosmetic, it’s not actually there for the best interest of women.
Even if you’re a women who does not want male attention or don’t even like men, the standards are still there. There is still pressure to dress a certain way in order to get the respect of men and women, and a lot of those standards are wrapped up in the male gaze. It always benefits women to dress for men.
@@MelinaeslhyDiomandei think they meant that y'all exclude lesbians, lesbians don't dress for men and lesbians aren't just studs there's other types and even straight women don't dress for men (most of them) but the standards they follow are still made by patriarchy
Having an hourglass figure being attached to youth is crazy because your hips grow as you get older and more mature. Youth doesn’t mean wide hips, so stupid. And as women that has more narrow hips I am 100% fertile. I need to watch out cuz it’s too easy for me. I truly don’t understand where this “science” comes from
Usually it's more how narrow the waist is in contrast to hips that is supposed to signal youth and fertility. For a lot of women, the waist is more narrow when they are younger or more fertile.
I hate to be that person, but please...corsets were not a garmet made for the male gaze!! the whole point of a corset was to do the same thing a bra did, and that's how most people in the victorain and edwardain erea used them
not just a bra but also your back! i have back problems and i can only do chores in a corset, otherwise my back collapses and im bedridden. a lifesaver is what a corset was for working women as i can imagine
In case you want to wear heels, I think that dancing shoes (like for salsa, ballroom ect) can be quite comfortable. Because the material has more give and they ought to distribute pressure more evenly. You can often decide the heel height. I would personally never wear regular pumps to go dancing. I find wedges and low heels quite comfortable if they are of good quality. I just like it aesthetically, could be internalized male gaze idk. But to each their own ofcourse!
@@laurag1477 I agree with you I never wore ball room heels but I heard they are comfortable but apart of me feels like u walk long in them enough it won’t be. Ballroom dance heels can be comfortable, but they are still heels and may not feel as comfortable as walking shoes.
As a very passionate person on fashion history, dare I say that corsets weren't that much for the silhouette as they were for support. During the victorian era (around 1840) dresses had a lot of layers that needed support on the waist, so a corset was needed to balance the weight. Corsets were also made by women for women and made to fit the wearer. Before 1800 there existed stays that were a similar kind of support to corsets, but with a more tubular shape and were also wore for structure. I woudn't say that historical female fashion was designed mostly by men. Most fashion styles came from mostly women from the upper class. Men sometimes even joked abt what was trendy for women back in the day. I would say that women's fashion became more directed to men during the victorian times
Actually the majority of professional corset makers were men (although they may have had female assistants for taking measurements, I haven't seen many sources mention that) but there were also a lot of women, usually poor working class women, who handmade their own corsets or corsets for family; similar to how being a chef is considered a masculine/male-dominated profession while a lot of women cook at home
Sabrina carpenter was in music industry for almost ten years and didn’t get popular until she started dressing for the male gaze. She’s talented and she always deserved fame, but it’s crazy how everyone’s pretending it’s her music that suddenly made her famous. How are people that blind?
Lol frl she recently done botox on her cheeks, lip fillers and started to wear super short and tight clothes boom..now every single men know her 😂 when her music was this good for a look time (even she was super gorgeous naturally before getting fillers) but obviously that time they didn't knew her why...lol
it’s not just her clothes? it’s the aesthetic and overall production. her new songs became super popular before most people (who didn’t know her) saw what she looks like even. please don’t take away a woman’s success just because men seem to like how she dresses. she also makes looking healthy look so good (compared to stick thin).
You're wrong about corsets. They were not made by men. They were made by women for women at first. And they helped women with all the heavy skirts, so wearing a corset was practical and more comfortable than not wearing one.
Wait.. I remember watching this video about an Onlyfans girl saying how getting to post provocative pictures is her form of female empowerment. And she meant it in terms of getting to express her sexual nature Tho I have nothing against people doing that, can it really be seen as female empowerment if the concept of "sexy" as we see today isn't even coming from a female narrative? It's based off of a man's idea of what sexy means to them. And this conditioning is so strong that as a 17 year old I tend to naturally feel more confident when I'm wearing form fitting clothes because I believe showing one's figure is deemed as universally appealing
Female empowerment can also fall into the status quo. In theory, it’s more about being able to have a choice in what empowers you whether it falls into the status quo or not. Empowerment is not always “progressive” but that’s not really the point in my opinion. For me I actually feel less confident in form fitting clothes cause I just feel weird. However I don’t necessarily feel sexy in baggy clothes either. But at the end of the day I am happy in whatever makes me comfortable.
@@aieliannathats absolutely not how that works. The commodification of womens bodies is inherently anti feminist, being a sex worker doesnt make you feminist or anti feminist but its absolutely not overall “empowering” when its contributing directly to the objectification of women
How is catering to the male gaze disempowering if you are in fact attracted to males? 😒 I’m so sorry if you have been made to feel uncomfortable by your experiences but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to like the attention either 🤷🏾♀️ or to benefit from it.
If you are trying to attract females then present yourself according to the “female” definition of sexy, but if you want a male then you’ll get to know (and potentially like) what they like. Am I missing something? (Trust your 25 year old big sis, it’s not just for men. Having a mental breakdown in your nicest lingerie set hits differently than crashing out in three day old ice cream stained sweats and a wet throw.)
imo in recent years, we often heard the claim that women can use their sexuality as a tool of power and self confidence. Like a modern form of emancipation where women take control of their sexuality?? However, under this facade of "liberation" there is a deeper problem, the internalization of objectification and many other aspects that suckkk
the male gaze has destroyed my sense of worth and self esteem bc as someone who does not fit the beauty standard and rarely receives any male attention, it has convinced me that i am ugly beyond means. it’ll always be bad and unfeminine to lack curves or have small boobs, etc. comments from other women/men doesn’t help either. it really sucks.
I’m so sorry! I’m chubby and I’m learning in my decentering men journey to value different things about clothes rather than if they are “flattering” (ie hide the bits of my body men don’t like and accentuate the ones they do). I’ve started to choose clothes coz I like the feel of the fabric or the sound it makes or coz it makes me look like an Edwardian lady. I’ve found it takes the focus of my body and what it should supposedly be. Just thought it might help!
sameee. im v short/skinny and i was never anyone's type in school. now as an adult it's even worse bc people still think I'm a minor or I'm just not ppls type. dating apps are a cesspool too, only thing you can find there are hookups which I'm not interested in TT slowly learning to love myself and being comfortable being single.
Oh no, girl you just angered the fashion historians with that corset rant. Tight lacing wasn’t that common and the only reason it’s brought up in the books from the time was for dramatics and male fetishes. 0-0
That club, having a requirement of wearing heels only, sees females as the product of their business. You have worded it correctly about men staying longer and spending more money. Any other “business” views this similar, like dating apps, video games, etc. This is a great video!
There's a difference between the real hourglass which a large number of women have if they're a healthy weight versus the extreme one plastic surgery is normalizing.
Corsets weren’t restrictive, every women wore corsets even the women who worked 14 hour days. SOME wealthy women tightlaced but that was a tiny tiny percentage and doesn’t speak for the garment itself. Corsets are good for the redistribution of weight which helps support breasts and the many layers of clothing women wore- this made the dresses much easier to wear. The myths of every women tight-lacing and fainting from corsets was just because women would “swoon” on purpose. They also come from men trying to make women look more vein as at that time men also wore corsets however theirs were for horse- riding but also MEN would tight lace their corsets.
@@rando3406 yeah that’s cool and everything but the stuff she mentioned after that just isn’t true. Women’s bones nor organs were deformed from tightlacing corsets and like I said in my original comment the fainting was purposeful. There were moronic doctors claiming that corsets “cut women livers in half” which doesn’t even make sense if you have half a brain. I’m sure if you tightlaced a corset you would have discomfort but it would go away once you took it off
@@rando3406 NK is very misinformed on this subject and she shouldn’t have spoke about it if she can’t get the basic facts right and instead used myths and concepts men made up to make women seem more vain. Stays were not restrictive especially not in the early 19th century like she says, they are incredibly similar to the modern bra and would not have been a hinderance in the slightest as women’s fashion was loose and flowy at that time. Corsets weren’t even invented until later in the 19th century before that they were all just stays. Whalebone corsets were also NOT made of whale bone.
Thanks for letting me know not to continue watching. I'd rather not listen to someone slathering about things they've not truly researched, particularly when it comes to history, but act as if they know what they are talking about.
In Laura Ingalls Wilder's books there is a scene where her mom talks about how she should tightlace and wear it at night too because that gives a thin waist which is considered very pretty. She also often boasts about how when she was a young adult her fiancée could wrap his two hands around her waist thats how small they were. And they were constantly working btw. (thankfully Laura quit that shit, she hated the corset and talked about that in the same paragraph) So i think what you explained could be the same thing that still inspired many women at the time to believe in that, who did not live close to new information. (Another weird beauty tip i read in that book is that the same mom always had her hair covering her ears because as a girl one of her teachers said that it is unladylike to have your ear visible)
Same, I've noticed on a couple tiktok accounts where the user compared their male gaze dress to their female gaze dress the latter seemed to suit their vibe or proportions a lil more which enhances the visual depth of the outfit tbh Personally I'm gonna wear whatever I like whatever the gaze but no doubt when I wear outfits with a play on shapes or colours or materials, I feel much more stylish and myself🥰
In my experience, even if you dress for the female gaze and get creative just as a means to express yourself, some men will still think you dressed lovely in order to get their attention and if you didn't want it then you would wear just basic stuff and not look pretty. Most of my clothes are oversized, but it still happens 🥲
Humans often forget that we are animals, and our clothing choices, such as wearing cropped or less restrictive garments, can be driven by a desire for comfort rather than solely by patriarchal standards. Historically, women in sub-Saharan Africa wore revealing clothing that prioritized airflow and ease. While patriarchy has imposed unrealistic beauty standards like corsets and high heels, conservative dressing can also reflect these patriarchal values.
Definitely realized that at a young age. Women who live in some of those villages and “revealing” clothing had no concept of it being sexual and neither did the men…it’s about airflow & comfort. I think it’s no coincidence that women feel the most comfy with no bra, looser clothes & prefer to not wear underwear for better freedom. It’s society who’s made these FACTS seem sexual or even “dirty.”
@@isabella6075 oh mb. When the person said worship I meant they meant men worshipping men in sports. But yeah, men were complaining the beach volleyball team were wearing pants, but if we wear less were called sluts??
Because she's incorrect, most women don't dress for men, yes they follow beauty standards that are mostly from patriarchy but women don't go like "i want to impress men", they put men into consideration when they are scared, if i go at night i am not wearing a dress i wear a hoodie and baggy pants, basically to avoid the male gaze and to prove it even more is, go to an all female school and you'll see how the girls dress fashionably, the emergence of all female clubs ( straight men love to push that women go to clubs for them etc) and ofc there's women who actually dress to impress men but they're definitely not the majority of women that I see and know personally
In this day and society with a lot of laws that harmfully target women’s bodies and health, if someone said I look fertile I would genuinely take that as a threat. Like, what are your intentions… especially if you don’t know me- like eewww, boo! get out of here stranger.
As a 14 year old, I love watching your videos because I think you can truly shape the girls in my generation into something better and more independent so I just wanted to say thanks for opening our minds
And honestly, Female competition drives sales and we live in a Capitalist State! The More Women dress for each other and Men, then higher the sales. Consumers report it all the time. They know this is what is going to get sales in beauty and etc. That's why plastic surgery is up in sales and clothing is getting more trashy and tight because they know about the psyche of the human mind and the competition to be seen. Sadly, it's TRUE.
23:38 Corsets do not "squish your organs", this is a common myth. I've been wearing corsets (yes, the ones that supposedly squish your ribs and mangle ur organs) and none of that has happened...It isn't necessarily comfortable, especially at first (if you tight lace), but after a while you get used to it. Not to mention it helps A LOT with posture, which as an artist, I really needed help with.
I feel like just looking at people wearing extremely tight corsets, you can tell that the organs HAVE to be squished??? It’s literally impossible for them to not be squished. Just a having a small baby in your stomach squishes your organs all together, you think a corset doesn’t squish your organs??
@@mahleekuh Have YOU ever worn a corset before? If not, you can't say they "squish your organs". They do not. They are fit to your body, and gradually you size down 2-3 inches off of your waist. The first time you get one, you don't tighten it (if you want to tight lace, like I do) so the corset GETS ADJUSTED to your body, and so you feel more comfortable wearing it. After a while, you can start tight lacing and when you feel comfortable wearing it laced for around 8 hours a day, and you can do so daily, then you can size down. It doesn't squish your organs unless you PURPOSEFULY mess up and buy a corset that doesn't FIT YOU, and try to tightlace from the first day you bought it.
@@mahleekuh And plus, if you're concerned about corsets, waist trainers are a great alternative. It's just that corsets give a more permanently "snatched" look. I've started wearing them at 15. I'm 17 now and no organs have been squished, rest assured. Your floating ribs might be slightly repositioned to ACCOMODATE the corset. But nothing more, nothing less. It's a bit uncomfortable, but after a while you get used to it, and with the benefits, I find it's great and it works for me.
Hi, can you tell me where I can get a good quality corset? I’m not into tight-lacing but I do like corsets alot. I’ve looked it up online but I really like to hear reviews to be sure. Thanks in advance if you answer. 😄
I grew up with strict religious modesty standards as my conditioning. To me, that’s dressing for men. You choose clothing in hopes that it might force men to be respectful, and in hopes of attracting a godly husband one day… even when you are 10 and think boys are annoying. We couldn’t even wear a tank top or show our knees. Everything had to be ‘feminine,’ which meant stereotypical feminine colors and fabrics. We also couldn’t wear anything bold or too flashy, and we had to keep hair and makeup very subtle, and we had to be just as meek and mild as our look. It was all rules made and enforced by men. I left that world in my teens and I was afraid to wear a lot of regular clothing that wouldn’t register as immodest to secular people until sometime in college. I had to unlearn worry about what other people think when it comes to a lot of trivial things. Now, sometimes I might line up with the male gaze but I don’t care. I wear what I wear so I look like who I am as a person. If I still dressed like I did as a kid, I’d give a wrong impression of who I am. I would look far less adventurous and extroverted. I don’t see the human body as sexual unless it’s presented as such, and you need context for that. If I am not acting sexual then the outfit is just an outfit and it doesn’t matter how people take that, because I know my intent. I have also noticed I get harassed no matter what I wear. I can have on an oversized hoodie and pajama pants, with no makeup, a messy bun, looking like Gollum because I’m sick with the flu, and some dudes will still have something nasty to say. So I’ve given up on trying to change that. I’d rather just shut them down once they start it like I’ve done most my life.
For me it has to do with intentions, are you dressing f modest or sexy for the male gaze or are you doing it for youreself. I sexualized myself because I thought it would attract a man faster, I saw the sexy women get men attention faster then modest women.
What do you mean you're learning about styling clothes????! You could give us all a fashion lecture with this outfit!! The vest, the jewelry, the flower in hair - STUNNING. I love it.
tbh I stopped dressing for the male gaze when I realized I only ever felt bad about my body when I tried to be the super skinny hot girl. When I decided to dress like Barbie- and I mean like, the animated early 2000s Barbie movies- I started to feel a lot better about myself. I haven't been bothered by a single man since I did so!
Corsets were originally an underwear ment to protect your waist from the skirts digging into your waist and to hold your bust. The slimming use came later and were first for the upper classes and upper middle class. Originally the VS stores were for men with a more masculine decor in dark colors like brown and green. Didn't really work though so it was changed.
I like looking “fertile” for myself because I really admire bigger hips and thighs because I really like that strong but feminine look, but it’s super uncomfortable to be called fertile. Women are also commonly conditioned that they need to be humble to a self depreciating extent or they are “stuck up” and “conceded” so most of us develop an uncomfortably with compliments anyway. We have to look good but we aren’t allowed to acknowledge we look good at all. But the fertile comment is different because it just comes off creepy
Just the fact I've been told to be careful around adult men since I was a child and actively started feeling uneasy around boys my age/adult men when I was like 13 .... Ended up being sexually abused by my first long twrm boyfriend when I was 17 , have been harassed and touched countless times ,by strangers and people I tought of as friends ... :/ I legitimately hate being born into a womans body :/ I've wanted to get rid of my boobs ever since they started growing But yet still had enough interelized sexism etc to dress hyper sexual when I was young and didn't know better :/ I genuinely believed nobody would like me ,if I didn't show off my body :(
Im sorry that happened :( Men warn us about other men but when we express our fears they get offended (nOt aLl mEn 🤪) when THEY LITERALLY taught us to be cautious
I think it can be both true that we dress or don´t for other people, because we live in a society and we will always be aware of others and their rules, it´s just unavoidable. I don´t dress like the average person and that means to me that I don´t care how others view me but it also is true that I do care because I wanna show off my style, it sounds contradictory but both are true
this, like we are taught about first impressions,before we get to know a person whether they are male or female the first thing we see is how a person looks
I was going to make a similar comment. It’s not as black and white as dressing for men versus not dressing for men. Like you said, I like to dress in a particular way so that i’m comfortable and confident. But there are somethings that I probably wouldn’t wear because I wouldn’t want to be judged. So it’s a both/and situation.
The thing is, most women are confident when men want them. This shouldnt be the case. You shouldnt be confident cause youre sexy or beautiful or good in bed cause thats whats important in the male gaze. You should be confident cause you work hard, you studied hard, you can do things, you survived another day in this cold harsh world. Our confidence shouldnt come from how desirable we are, it should come from how much we can achieve. Sadly, a lot of women thinks being able to twerk and expose your body is what makes up a strong women. Feminism before is all about being able to work, now its all about being able to werk.
I don’t know … I don’t shave my legs, no makeup, I’m 30 and I cut my hairs super super shorts. I take care of my health and soul. And honestly guys doesn’t seem shocked by my apparence at all so I don’t know what to think now
@@florajego5658idk where you live but it could depend on that since there’s a cultural aspect to how much beauty standards are imposed/expected in daily life
We're all heavily influenced by the male gaze. Like since our childhoods, through any media. It's almost impossible to dress without intuitively thinking about how men would perceive us. You don't need to actively think about it, but it still influences what you find pretty.
Corsets weren't always "restrictive" for the rich it supported the girls and snatched the waist. For the poor they were simply bras. Flappers while could be said to play into sexual promiscuity shortening dresses. It was also a feminist movement straying from traditional female wear of the time Just a little fashion history. Also pink wasn't a "girl" color until the holocaust with the pink triangles for gay men. It used to be masculine becuase it was close to red, which is seen as very manly then and now
Also, yes. Telling a woman she looks fertile, or worse, ‘breedable’ is a major ick. Especially if you don’t know each other. Basically you just told a stranger you want to have kids with them. Slow your role and ask her what movies she likes, or what she does for work, or if she is even single or interested in dating you. Nobody wants to have a kid with a rando in their inbox or the drunk man at the bar.
Where are my fashion history girls? PLEASE get into the comments & talk about the misconceptions about corsets. MEN spread the bs about corsets being damaging. Remember, men wrote history books, not women. I'm on my way to the ER (routine chronic illness flare). So I can't elaborate. I really hope costume history ladies see this.
@@rando3406 she also spreads misinformation saying pregnant women need to let their kids breathe! So no, she’s still incorrect. She still acts like corsets back then were wrong too, giving the connotation that pregnant women were stupid for wearing corsets despite them being fit for pregnancy. Her information back then is wrong and she doesn’t help the narrative by only showing rich disordered women like Kim k tightlacing. She never addresses the fact that women have used corsets for support. She shamed push up bras and bras with underwire despite not giving the argument that women with bigger boobs csn be more comfortable with underwire as it supports them more and takes pressure off of their backs. She makes women seem dumb and ridiculous for wearing corsets despite working women like farmers and rich women like horseback riders being able to do stuff easily. She does not go into the issue of why corsets have become bad now vs then and just says ALL of them are bad. she doesn’t go into detail of how corsets are made nowadays and the difference in quality and how they are now cheap. She hardly shows the evolution process and gives into the Hollywood “omg i have to wear a corset for this film :(( it’s gonna hurt it’s so toxic for women” kind of mindset. so yeah I’ll stick with my original opinion that she is misinformed and this is one of my least favorite videos from her so far.
@@rando3406 the way she presents it makes it sound like, even though the intention was to be comfortable, even back then they were uncomfortable - which is factually incorrect. Corsets were made by women for women - they were very comfortable & made to fit your body, it didn't deform tue body, most women didn't tightlace they padded out to obtain the desirable silhouette. Men ruined how corsets are preceived and used nowadays, it's so frustrating but I also don't blame the creator for not knowing bc the misinformation is SO WIDESPREAD 😭
Correction: Corsets originally served the purpose bras serve. They were support garments. Some wealthy people used them to tightlace occasionally, but this was considered extreme and embarrassing to be caught doing even at the time, and not that many people did it, certainly not every day. Men really didn't like corsets for a while, in fact, the 'corsets shift your organs' thing was popularized by a male victorian doctor who hated corsets. The extreme difference in waist, hip, and bust size seemingly produced by corsets also largely wasn't the result of squeezing the waist - Pictures we have of women with tiny waists like that were the result of optical illusions and editing, and paintings were over-idealized. Padding was also somewhat commonly used for the bust and hips, because back then, the ideal figure was something you were quietly expected to achieve through safe padding you could take off at the end of the day, rather than with expensive, life-threatening surgeries like BBLs. Men also hated crinolines, poke bonnets, necklines that were too high, necklines that were too low, colors that were too fun or interesting, and all manner of other fashions pioneered by women. The French garment spoken of in this video that flattens the bust is actually called stays, and stays are not the same as corsets.
corsets were actually pretty comfortable back then! it's a common misconsception that they were incredibly tight and uncomfortable what made the waist look smaller was usually a trick of the eye, as they added padding to the hips and such to create a "hourglass" figure the adverts and images you see of women with impossibly small waists were often either A. Men mocking women for wearing them and making those drawings as satire, or B. Straight up editing! a huge oversimplification, but Bernadette Banner explains it better on her channel as she goes into depth about historic fashion!
I have to say this: corsets, properly made, we're not painful, we're wanted by women for women, and were a great back support. Please do not believe the incorrect myths in regards to this specific garment. I cannot say the same for corsets made today, unless they were made by a professional like Redthreaded(a corset compan). I am sorry if this is long winded.
I was never tricked. We know that grabs their attention, but I personally enjoy looking girly due to my body type. Also, when I style clothes more intricately and use more tomboyish aesthetics like sneakers, baggy pants etc, I noticed that REALLY grabs their attention. So IRL I noticed looking hyperfeminine serves more of the female gaze and looking more Sporty is like catnip for most men.
Many things can be true all at once. I wear what makes me feel comfortable and attractive. What’s also true is that I like getting compliments on those things too. What’s also true is that I care about my reputation so that does have some influence on. I don’t wake up asking myself “what’s going to get me the most attention today” but the validation is nice when it does happen ❤ I heard someone say to be able to tell if what you’re doing is authentic or not, imagine yourself doing or wearing that thing for the rest of your life. If initially you felt dread thinking of it it’s probably not coming from the right place. But if you can imagine yourself doing something and you still feel at ease that’s a sign you’re being true to yourself
The first time I wore any swimming one piece was when I was 11 at summer camp. I was learning how to swim with the other camp buddies, but the swimming instructors were both men. Of course, I was also the only "bigger" girl in our group, and tall for my age. I'll never forget one of the instructors saying that I looked fat in my one piece compared to the other girls. I was the fastest learner there, but I was never praised for swimming well. Meanwhile, the skinner, younger girls were. That was the first time I realized that no matter how good I am at something, nothing matters if I'm not pretty/skinny. Later on, as a teenager, I had too much anxiety to join the swim team. Now as an adult, I wish I would've had someone in my life to teach me that men's opinions on women's bodies are disgusting, and shouldn't be treated valuable.
It was so traumatising to develop big boobs early as a teen, so now I'm happy they got smaller (best side of weight loss to me) and I never ever wear regular bras - I don't want to accentuate them
you know whats soo annoying? men looking at anything being feminine as a bad thing. ever since i realised this was a thing, so much changed. the way i viewed people CHANGED.
@@CaptainLysandra the whole idea of men called gay being an insult stems from this stuff though. when a girl is masculine, no one cares, when a guy is feminine, hes insulted and called gay. also the whole thing about 'man'ing up (implying not to be such a girl) i cant come up with more examples rn but its very true.
@@tartali63 while the "maning up" attitude is bad that's directed at other men not a feminity in general, also (this part is in response to the original comment) the man up attitude comes from both men and women and is perpetuated by both sides if a man cries it's not uncommon, insulted, ignored and seen as less attractive
@@tartali63 I was talking about femininity in women, not in men. As for feminine men, it's true, except that both men and women are guilty of shaming them, not only men. I've heard a lot of women calling it a turn off, etc
And this is why I dress modestly and I avoid male friendships 100%. Any time a guy wants to get with me because of lust in their hearts, I tell them I’m waiting for marriage. Gone in an instant.
You have incredibly bad luck. Guys who are not interested in getting into your pants exist. Even straight ones. But yeah, saying that you are waiting for marriage is an OK strategy that I can see working on some guys. Some, mind you. There is a type of guy though that will see your wish as a challenge. "oh, she's waiting for marriage but I can trick her/change her mind", so unfortunately not foolproof. Stay prudent out there, some will pretend to understand and respect your standards to get closer to you 😢 I wish you good friendships with guys, they're possible 👍
Im sorry but you are mostly wrong about corsets. For a great deal of history these were the standard for underwear not because of the altering of one’s appearance but for support. Yes, there were people who tight laced and periods when this was more popular than others but for the main population corsets were the equivalent to normal bras. The heaviness of breasts can cause pain and medical problems and that’s what the corset was there to prevent. I’m not saying that there were no people tight lacing but the myth of the corset as a symbol of oppression is exactly that, a myth. There are always extreme radical people in history but again not everyone. Corsets made life easier for people with breast because it granted support, prevented back pain and damage to the spine for people with big chests
@@JhatemClaasenbecause they supported the weight of the dresses they wore and smoothed out the lines. And they wore short stays in the regency era to simply act as a bra. You’ve been conditioned to think of them as things men inflicted on women which is just not true.
To be honest, as a big chested girly I really don’t mind using a bra, I could even sleep with it and I personally use it mainly to keep them in place not for any other reason, it also makes my shape look better but I always do it for myself, not man 🥰
As another big chested girl, I agree (as long as it's a correctly fitted bra). Although I don't wear them to sleep, I do up until the very moment I get in bed. Even if I am completely alone in the house. It's easier to maneuver around with a bra keeping them in place and, for lack of a better phrase, to keep them out of my way. Nowhere in the process of getting a bra do I think about a man. I don't for a second consider a man in my process of picking out, buying, or wearing a bra.
i remember seeing guys talk about they didn't like the mom jeans trend cuz it was too baggy and hid the girls body. 🚩🚩as if we dress for them and also i feel most comfortable when i dress loosely
I love your videos. I'm 14 years old girl and you really changed my mind about so many things and open my eyes on some stuff I was doing blindly. I thank you and I'm thankful that I found you. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
i think that people have severely misunderstood what the “male gaze” is supposed to mean, the male gaze is basically how women are perceived and portrayed in a sexual/sensual manner in media in order to appeal to men. the point of the male gaze isn’t the way you dress, speak or even your looks in general it’s about a womens sex appeal and objectification which happens regardless of how you express your self. therefore a real life woman can’t dress for the male gaze but rather male VALIDATION because those are two different things (this isn’t directed towards the op btw just something i wanted to add)
Truthfully, I think women dress for men AND women. Lol. I don’t believe those who say they do it only for themselves. We dress to impress others. Do I upkeep myself for others? No, that’s more for myself because I want to feel good about myself. But wearing uncomfortable heels, bras that dig into my skin, and makeup to enhance my looks? That’s for the public.
Not everyone is like you. For example I like wearing cute clothes and pretty make-up at home and only at home. Maybe I don't like attention but love looking like a princess 💖
I agree, women dress for themselves but also dress for men, women know what men like and find attractive if we didn’t , the beauty standards for women wouldn’t be where it is today. I believe women have now realized that and are now switching to dressing in whatever they want, because it isn’t so much about pleasing men anymore, now the beauty standard is slowly changing towards modesty.
@@Wrzosach that's my point. You only wear cute clothes and pretty make-up in the comfort of your home. I'm talking about women who go out of their way to dress and appear a certain way in public.
Makeup is a form of art, and heels are just a type of fashion. People like these things, you telling me goth women who wear heavy makeup are doing it to attract men?
23:00 thats not a corset. It's a stay. It even says it in the text shown on screen. There is a difference. And tight lacing wasnt as common as we make it out to be today. It was meant to support not restrict. Women wore corsets when working, chilling and doing sport too...
Here’s an example of a male gaze vs female gaze, the other day I wore an outfit to school that could be considered either, I had kinda short black skirt (almost mid thigh length), a weezer shirt that was kinda tight fitting, lots of silver jewelry and big heeled goth boots with heart buckles (6 & 1/2 heels). I got five comments on my outfit, two from girls and three from guys (the last two dont really count though bc they were from my friend that we mutually bully eachother). 1. (From generally feminin and mainstream style girl) “omg your boots are so cute! 2. (From an alt/scene girl) “your weezer shirt is amazing I love it!” 3. (Overheard from someone in the hall) “* comment about my legs then he criticized my shirt/music choices*” 4. (From friend) “WEEZER IS A HORRIBLE BAND * insert horrible comments that he was joking about * 5. (Also from friend) “if you worked at Starbucks and wore that outfit young vulnerable men would ask you to spit in their drink”
I can confidently say I dress for myself 9/10 I’m not thinking about men seeing my I’m thinking about what I want to wear and what I feel confident and pretty in
As a 12 year old, absolutely YES! tt and several other platforms promote sexualizing kids, and skincare etc, me personally i felt lots of pressure to do "skincare" which made my skin all scratchy and peel-y now i can't even g out w/out feeling ugly, and especially the media makes us young girls seek validation in older men making little girls act grown which they really aren't, overall i had to learn the hard way to actually enjoy my childhood, and the main source of all this are the impossible beauty standards has set, and body, when i tell you i'm NEVER satisfied with how i look i mean it, and all this comes from us kids watching adults do makeup etc making us wanna do it it's like those scenes in movies where the kid tries on the mom's makeup but i equally feel like if tt didn't exist all these insecurities like a single 11 sec vid can make me hate everything abt me , and we all say we dress for ourselves but we really don't, like nobody actually enjoys wearing corsets, push-up bras, short tight dresses, we all do it for THE MALE GAZE, it's like that's all we're worth, but i'm glad i've learnt i'm more than that especially due to how hypersexual i grew up due to having a unsupervised device at a young age leading to p addictions and stuff like that, even MUSIC is sexual rn evrything's all about sex and body that even dances are sexual making it so hard for addicts not to relapse and i hate myself for participating in these "trends" because i know that just makes more and more people insecure, i can't even sit without thinking about how my butt is getting flat, overall just learn that you're way more than your physical appearance especially if you're a kid my age, please don't be influenced by tt and media once you fall for it, you'll js always be miserable looking to achieve those impossible standards that adults and tters set (YES i mean like "having a small waist" big boobs, big hips ,a ss everything) acc look for hapiness because EVERYONE these days js feel like copies of each other. find your self worth , don't look for it through men, people. i used to look for validation through other people and i never found it until i deleted tt and the media and acc focused on becoming healthier and learning that my body or face doesn't have to look a certain way a stranger thinks it should. (i'm sorry for the yapping)
Men are also allowed to have a stomach. Whereas, even bigger woman are still expected to wear shapewear to look "flat", just bigger, too get a certain shape. And honestly, even many women who are a healthy thin (as in not underweight) often have that bit of a stomach that, in certain dresses, they're expected to wear shapewear to get rid of. Why are men allowed to have their regular body types but women have to conform to a specific shape?
They aren't? Or atleast as a man I could care less, if that's something your parents are forcing you to do you have bad ones. Social media is full of bs with filters and edited pictures so if ur comparing urself with people on say Instagram that's something you should stop. Also there still a lot men that are called fat especially in school like in P.E. being slower kind of isolates them while all the women are expected to be less athletic and given more leniency towards state testing and things like doing stretches with a weight bar, while the men in my class/school have to use the heaviest weights and are expected to grab equipment for the class because we are "stronger" I'm weak as ship and I don't want to carry their stuff. Idk but it can go both ways.
I don't believe ur still in school I'm just saying my side of the story, however i dont think any one isn't not allowed to do whatever they want so you probably shouldn't listen to whoever tells you all that stuff. Just know anyone telling you off because of what you are wearing is a beach.
The problems with corsets are highly exaggerated. While those problems are there and there is a lot to be said about women being conditioned to dress for the male gaze especially just by the fact that tightlacing exists, most corsets throughout history were made to be worn to the comfort of the wearer and to provide support. Women could ride horses and work on farms in corsets. They had to be able to move and breathe to do that. There were also corsets made specifically for men that were pretty common and I'm willing to bet things like tightlacing didn't happen as much with men who wore corsets.
As a bi person who leans into my own personal style I def still find myself looking for male validation when I’m in public. However I’m wayyyy more concerned about how my peers and other women find my outfit/think if it’s cool. For me it’s more societal but u can never really escape the male gaze no matter how hard y try. I feel like I will always be body checking when I pass a reflective surface or hoping some random person is finding me attractive on the train. It’s hard to truly feel free when you feel so perceived, it doesn’t help if ur trying to dress for urself but feel more self conscious in ur ‘weird’ or outlandish clothes.
i just wanna point out that corsets, historically, were never made for men to be sexual. they are (including stays and kirtles) are for back, breast and core support. they were what women wore for centuries, and were never tight-laced (if a woman wasn’t upper class and going to an event). they were made specifically for the woman’s measurements and were molded by months of wearing.
I am 24 and a lesbian woman. I dress akin to a teenage boy or a divorced suburban father of three. I still somehow get unwanted attention from men I don't ask for. I honestly think there is no winning no matter what you look like.
THE THING ABOUT THE CORSETS IS SO WRONG GIRRLLLL IM CRYING EVERYONE IN THE COMMENTS ARE TRYNA TELLNUUUUU 😭🙏 ITS NOT JUST Aesthetic ITS ALSO FOR COMFORT BUT IM NOT A PRO ABOUT THAT THEME
That's a flawed argument, there's clothes for you in your house and there is clothes for outside, each place and event has it's own clothes, y'all never ask men this "if you're not comfortable wearing a suit in your house then you are not wearing it for yourself" sounds kinda stupid ( i swear I'm not saying you are)
@@zizojaezekeom3565 yes there is dress for house. but if you look at men, they wear sweatshirt or tee at their house and also outside. and clearly they wear suits for others. specially other men we can't compare with men here because most men dont dress for women. they just find a neat dress they have and go for a date. but if you look at some women who does wear for men,they might dress to show their curves or skin tight or heavy makeup. and coming home they would feel exhausted.some might regret they've put on so much effort but the date was cheap. whereas you are also right. i think i do talk for certain type of women.
I actually dont think it's that simple. If we take the idea of patriarchy working like a panopticon in your head, that patriarchy teaches women to police their own behavior as if they are being watched by men all the time, that includes inside your own home. So you can't even trust your own choices when alone, you're still influenced. It's a hard topic because I don't know if we can actually disentangle whats for us and whats not at this point.
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saying a woman looks fertile is so icky if someone told me that i’d stay as far away from them as possible
thats what im saying likeeeeee
Is this why I'm single?
that dont even sound like u talkin to a human😭🙏
I swear to god i would go off on them like how the dudes dressed as girls in the white chicks movie went off on the guys who were staring and saying provocative things to them
@@xerxestheimmortal1 probably why youll stay that way
Being told you look fertile does sound like a threat
Because it is a threat.
Fr😂😂
Bc it is? They're literally just saying your an animal who's meant to be used as a baby breeder
fr like if any man tells me that they should consider me a threat to them.
I dont think women look good to impress men but I do think women look good to impress the man.
a club that requires women to wear only heels is so crazy wtf 💀
i was soooo mad!!! never been back there ever since!
It's called misogyny and sexism!
clubs suck anyway
And I feel like kitten heels or wedges wouldn’t have been acceptable either and those are comfortable heels
@@Spheriment yeah, and the reason they suck is literally in the name.
after i found out women go into clubs free it made sense you are the product
Yup, and if you’re a beautiful woman, bouncers will let you in VIP sections for free. That way they get more male clientele that will drop hundreds on a section in VIP.
club culture will never be my thing as a non-western woman but omg its so sleazy and weird...... this is useful to know though
OMG WE CAN? Not like I ever plan to, but I did NOT know this
@@maleehadamda6814SAME OMG
Well that's something I didn't know
It's crazy how no one is talking about Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest. This book has secrets that could change everything, but people seem blind to it. Wake up and see for yourself!
When I was 12, I was regularly bullied for my looks by boys older than me. They told me I was the “ugliest girl they had ever seen”. I was so confused because they didn’t know me. They didn’t know if I was nice, they didn’t know if I was mean. They didn’t know my hobbies, they didn’t know I liked to draw, they didn’t know anything. A lot of men and boys do not care about you as a person. Your worth to them is determined by your appearance only. You’re not human, you’re an object. Because of that a lot of us resort to sexualization as a way to feel seen, loved and appreciated. We can say we do it for ourselves. We can say it’s our choice. But a lot of it is just this desperate need to exist in the eyes of others.
so sorry that you had to experience this! I went through something similar growing up! I hope you heal!
As someone who spent their whole school experience as the ugly and weird kid I agree with all you said 😢
I agree :(
Women lie a lot. It's easy to see why a woman dresses as she does. When you show a lot of skin and wear form fitting garments you are looking for attention and validation. When you are truly confident and have healthy self esteem, you don't need validation nor to reveal too much, and you don't need to sexualize your image. As women get older, they begin to realize this more clearly, because they become more self confident and secure in themselves. Even though their youthful looks are fading, you realize that you are a multifaceted human being and not just an object for men's gaze and pleasure. I used to wear pushup bras but I'd always take them off the moment I got home. Also, in my line of work, I had to dress very modestly. The pushup bras were useless and irrelevant, and were replaced by sports bras, which offer much greater support and comfort. Now, I dress how I really love, for comfort. I can still be creative and feminine while modest. And it's liberating to know that people see me as a person of value because of who I am, not because of my body. And it effortlessly weeds out the type of guys who want "fertile" females.
And it's a trap. You won't get love you won't be appreciated or respected by them just because they find you sexually attractive. You'll be a shinier more interesting object. But you remain an object
Also, you surely realize that this process is very different for women who grew up conventionally pretty. Being sexualized from a very young age on, those women might never go through the phase of dressing sexy to attract men. On the contrary, they might be more inclined to hide behind clothes to feel safer. Our own experience is never universal for all women
I realized I was dressing for the male gaze with my baggy thrift store tshirts... To AVOID the male gaze.
yep whether you dressing for the attention or to avoid it- its still focused on the gaze of men
@@Sapphire_ReactsThey won’t like this, I agree with you.
@@Sapphire_Reactsthis is why i dress for whatever feels the most comfortable. its me centered and i feel great most of the time
This is how I’ve become. it feels really sh*tty treating my body like it’s something that needs to be hidden, but idk what to do because feeling exposed to creeps feels worse. I always wear baggy shirts and baggy sweats, but sometimes I choose leggings instead of sweats (still wearing a large t shirt that covers my butt) and once I wear leggings I can immediately notice more stares specifically at my legs. I’m still not dressed for the male gaze at all but just wearing something that even slightly shows the curve of my body brings stares to that area. It’s insane.
We dress for others too. During COVID’s u saw a bunch of people wearing plan hoodies at home
The transition from push-up bra talk to the sponsor was smoother than silk.
lmaoooooooooooo i trieddddddd
She's truly good at talking about an ad without us picturing that it's one👏
Swearrr
@@user-uy4yk4kd5j thats not a good thing. you legally have to disclose that it is an ad
A bra that fits calculator and sub on Reddit also needs to be mentioned, bras shouldn’t hurt (even for big tattat girls) but beware, push up and buttcrack cleavage is a sign of an ill fitting bras
Compliments are an ego boost and can make your day, doesn't really matter who from, but I much prefer compliments from women on what I'm wearing over men.
(Coming from an intersex person) whenever I look very masc ??? Idk how to describe it other than looking like a cis het man but anyway, I always feel so scared that I’m making a woman uncomfortable by complimenting them or that they think I’m tryna flirt when i genuinely just like their fit or jewellery i will fr explain myself n be like ‘this is platonic I don’t mean to seem odd i just actually rly like dat thing’ coz i panic, i just compliment people in general-men, women n anybody else platonically but the amount of weird men out there is scary ash n i get weird ahh men tryna talk to me when I’m presenting femininely or in drag & they get scared off when I open my mouth HAHAHAHA
@@illchayDyzstop calling normal people cis
I prefer it when kids and women/girls complement me because I know I genuinely look good. But if a respectable guy said it I’d be okay with it, but in this age many of them aren’t coming from a respectable place.
@@SideEyeee_ ? I said cis coz I meant cis? I woulda said normal if I meant normal homie, but I said cis coz normal is a much broader term than cis so I specified😂
@@SideEyeee_ Being Cis isn't normal for everyone. Normal is a matter of opinion.
Forbidding women from entering into anyplace unless they were heels is one of the most sexist things I have ever heard in my life. The fact that it's legal, and accepted, and easily brushed of, even in this video, is beyond me.
These women look weird
Heels and pants
They are supposed to be, in a dress/skirt
Not too short
@Kathleen can you rest from being the sexist bum that you have been in this comment section. Women can wear what they want. Men can cry harder.
There’s nothing sexist about a dress code. Just go dance somewhere more casual that won’t require heels if you don’t want to wear them.
@@evaphillips2102Exactly smh. The words sexist and misogynist are thrown around so carelessly now a days it's almost infuriating. Just go to a different club that's literally it.
Plus many women tell other women to wear heels or revealing clothes so the blame goes to them too. I've never really heard any man saying that they like it when their wives or gfs wear revealing dresses. It's mostly other women influencing other women.
@@evaphillips2102 A formal dresscode is different to requiring women to wear a dress and heels. You can follow a formal dresscode and wear neither of those things. The dresscode you're referring to is more like gendered cosplay, and could be called sexist. I generally disagree with any gender-based rules because I don't want my gender (or biological sex) to be an important factor in how people perceive me. I guess some people, consider gender to be important, but I think that should be a personal choice and not enforced as rule.
It's a common misconception that corsets being purely aesthetic they were literally underwear and can have other benefits. I wouldn't personally group pushup and underwire bras together, as someone who needs underwire and/or padding, they're just not the same in my mind
Traditional well fitted corsets feel GREAT especially if you have a bigger chest. It's more surface area and spreads out the pressure, instead of your bra band or straps digging into you. I'm too big to wear bralettes or non underwire bras and I wish proper corsets were more accessible as an option 😭
Listen to what she says at 23:55, this is statement is acknowledged but that doesn't mean that today's purpose of a corset hasn't changed
@@rando3406 the reason it changed was because of the negative stereotype, and using the few women who laced them too tightly to condemn anyone who wore one for any reason
Thank you, the corset misinformation is sooooooo annoying.
came down here looking for this comment and wondering if someone will also bring up the "sensual flapper dresses" comment that is also severely wrong. Flapper dresses were very loose as well as very rarely worn-only for special party/nightclub occasions by some women. fashion of that era was loose, with no cinched waist, very boxy tops, skirts and dresses. they did not have "sensual" curve hugging clothing like the image she used as an example. both the myth of the corset and the myth of flapper dresses being worn all the time and being tight are myths that have been shaped by the male gaze over time and are very inaccurate.
(some) men keep saying women's compliments are fake because most women always says positive things no matter if it's true or not. The thing is, most women were raised to always be mindful of people's feelings
You can ALWAYS be mindful of people's feelings but still be able to speak Truth when its necessary in a way that will make the other person uncomfortable...the BEst Person to learn from this is Jesus Christ
Thank you for specifying some
That not going to work for most people y'know@@bestbots1
And then men complain that no one compliments them. But I thought our compliments were fake?!🙄
idk about corsets but once i wore them to be 8 hours in front of a computer, my back pain disappeared. they were made to support our torso. they are so good at supporting your body weight that you cant even wear too much because it could make your muscles relax too much and weaken over time.
im convinced the women who view them as just another impractical fashion accessory like high heels never actually wore a fitting corset
I have a custom corset for Renaissance festivals and I can be in that thing all day and it isn’t an issue!
Yeah and corset making was a women’s job until it grew in monetary popularity which led to men infuriating the field
@@NicolesBookishNook lower class women would wear them as well, and im sure they werent the most preoccupied with fashion in the midst of taking care of their eleven children while doing all the housework and farmwork
There is definitely a difference between corsets of old that were created for support and properly fit to the woman wearing it, and also was worn over a chemise/slip and not right against the skin-- unlike today's corsets which are made mainly to be sexy and sit right against the skin.
@@niarahancock4739 men also used to wear corsets, they were used for horseback riding
I’m still fairly young. When I was younger at 11 I started puberty before most people around me. It was awkward and uncomfortable for me to hear guys talking about how my body looked. I spent the rest of grade school hiding my body with baggy clothes.
Some men disgusts me. If you’re a grown man and commenting about a child’s body, you’re a predator and deserve to be punished.
sorry you had to go through that! that was me as well unfortunately girl I got my period in fifth grade! we really cant win
Sameeee
Girl same ppl were bullying me for having a bigger chest when I was just 10 stuff Is legit crazy.
@@LalaluDonutsWithVaniella same my chest developed when I was 7, it was so awkward. Especially for my mom, she was so scared for me. I stopped wearing sleeveless and and shorts around that time.
Now that I'm 15 and girls around me are also developed. It's normal for me to wear sleeveless. I'm still not allowed to wear shorts tho. My butt is too big. Even if my parents allow me to wear that, I wouldn't cuz I don't like that attention ew
I find “girl-boss, sexual liberation, for the girls, independent baddie” content still heavily influenced by the male gaze. The female gaze is still influenced by the male gaze and it’s worrying how a lot of girls genuinely believe they’re not affected by it. If it’s catered to women and if its only purpose is to be cosmetic, it’s not actually there for the best interest of women.
I know!! That’s something that’s bothered me for a while. It’s normal to want to be sexy, but it just seems harmful to pass it off as empowerment.
Even if you’re a women who does not want male attention or don’t even like men, the standards are still there. There is still pressure to dress a certain way in order to get the respect of men and women, and a lot of those standards are wrapped up in the male gaze. It always benefits women to dress for men.
I'm gay
The "male gaze" do not exist - is an attempt to pathologize men as "inherently evil".
@@BennyJulius-mu7inok ?? what we do with that
@@MelinaeslhyDiomandei think they meant that y'all exclude lesbians, lesbians don't dress for men and lesbians aren't just studs there's other types and even straight women don't dress for men (most of them) but the standards they follow are still made by patriarchy
You're*
Having an hourglass figure being attached to youth is crazy because your hips grow as you get older and more mature. Youth doesn’t mean wide hips, so stupid. And as women that has more narrow hips I am 100% fertile. I need to watch out cuz it’s too easy for me. I truly don’t understand where this “science” comes from
Probably from the days when women with narrow hips were more likely to die during childbirth
Usually it's more how narrow the waist is in contrast to hips that is supposed to signal youth and fertility. For a lot of women, the waist is more narrow when they are younger or more fertile.
@@GoaWay... your body type isnt correlated with fertility period
I think it's easier to give birth with wider hips
@@Sandakan00have you seen Chinese women? They are not as shapely as black women,yet they manage to have babies,
I hate to be that person, but please...corsets were not a garmet made for the male gaze!! the whole point of a corset was to do the same thing a bra did, and that's how most people in the victorain and edwardain erea used them
im a historical costumer i literlly study this stuff, corsets should NOT hurt you
not just a bra but also your back! i have back problems and i can only do chores in a corset, otherwise my back collapses and im bedridden. a lifesaver is what a corset was for working women as i can imagine
@@Shaannooonn Yes!
Nah saying to a woman that she looks “fertile” is crazy.
When have you heard a guy tell a woman she looks fertile?
I always say I don’t like when women gaslight other women to believe heels can be comfortable. There’s no way that any heels can be comfortable
Thank you like how.....
yess, even my sister who always wear heels say they're painful as heck
Comfortable for me…
In case you want to wear heels, I think that dancing shoes (like for salsa, ballroom ect) can be quite comfortable. Because the material has more give and they ought to distribute pressure more evenly. You can often decide the heel height.
I would personally never wear regular pumps to go dancing.
I find wedges and low heels quite comfortable if they are of good quality. I just like it aesthetically, could be internalized male gaze idk.
But to each their own ofcourse!
@@laurag1477 I agree with you I never wore ball room heels but I heard they are comfortable but apart of me feels like u walk long in them enough it won’t be. Ballroom dance heels can be comfortable, but they are still heels and may not feel as comfortable as walking shoes.
As a very passionate person on fashion history, dare I say that corsets weren't that much for the silhouette as they were for support. During the victorian era (around 1840) dresses had a lot of layers that needed support on the waist, so a corset was needed to balance the weight. Corsets were also made by women for women and made to fit the wearer. Before 1800 there existed stays that were a similar kind of support to corsets, but with a more tubular shape and were also wore for structure. I woudn't say that historical female fashion was designed mostly by men. Most fashion styles came from mostly women from the upper class. Men sometimes even joked abt what was trendy for women back in the day. I would say that women's fashion became more directed to men during the victorian times
Actually the majority of professional corset makers were men (although they may have had female assistants for taking measurements, I haven't seen many sources mention that) but there were also a lot of women, usually poor working class women, who handmade their own corsets or corsets for family; similar to how being a chef is considered a masculine/male-dominated profession while a lot of women cook at home
Sabrina carpenter was in music industry for almost ten years and didn’t get popular until she started dressing for the male gaze. She’s talented and she always deserved fame, but it’s crazy how everyone’s pretending it’s her music that suddenly made her famous. How are people that blind?
Lol frl she recently done botox on her cheeks, lip fillers and started to wear super short and tight clothes boom..now every single men know her 😂 when her music was this good for a look time (even she was super gorgeous naturally before getting fillers) but obviously that time they didn't knew her why...lol
I knew her in 2014 and now I see her popular makes me wonder, men only care about dirty things not the inside of how someone is.
it’s not just her clothes? it’s the aesthetic and overall production. her new songs became super popular before most people (who didn’t know her) saw what she looks like even. please don’t take away a woman’s success just because men seem to like how she dresses. she also makes looking healthy look so good (compared to stick thin).
Y’all need to stop worrying about who’s looking at what you wear. Just do whatever
It's impossible. People are social creatures.
You're wrong about corsets. They were not made by men. They were made by women for women at first. And they helped women with all the heavy skirts, so wearing a corset was practical and more comfortable than not wearing one.
Wait.. I remember watching this video about an Onlyfans girl saying how getting to post provocative pictures is her form of female empowerment. And she meant it in terms of getting to express her sexual nature
Tho I have nothing against people doing that, can it really be seen as female empowerment if the concept of "sexy" as we see today isn't even coming from a female narrative? It's based off of a man's idea of what sexy means to them. And this conditioning is so strong that as a 17 year old I tend to naturally feel more confident when I'm wearing form fitting clothes because I believe showing one's figure is deemed as universally appealing
Female empowerment can also fall into the status quo. In theory, it’s more about being able to have a choice in what empowers you whether it falls into the status quo or not. Empowerment is not always “progressive” but that’s not really the point in my opinion.
For me I actually feel less confident in form fitting clothes cause I just feel weird. However I don’t necessarily feel sexy in baggy clothes either. But at the end of the day I am happy in whatever makes me comfortable.
@@aieliannathats absolutely not how that works. The commodification of womens bodies is inherently anti feminist, being a sex worker doesnt make you feminist or anti feminist but its absolutely not overall “empowering” when its contributing directly to the objectification of women
How is catering to the male gaze disempowering if you are in fact attracted to males? 😒 I’m so sorry if you have been made to feel uncomfortable by your experiences but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to like the attention either 🤷🏾♀️ or to benefit from it.
If you are trying to attract females then present yourself according to the “female” definition of sexy, but if you want a male then you’ll get to know (and potentially like) what they like. Am I missing something?
(Trust your 25 year old big sis, it’s not just for men. Having a mental breakdown in your nicest lingerie set hits differently than crashing out in three day old ice cream stained sweats and a wet throw.)
imo in recent years, we often heard the claim that women can use their sexuality as a tool of power and self confidence. Like a modern form of emancipation where women take control of their sexuality?? However, under this facade of "liberation" there is a deeper problem, the internalization of objectification and many other aspects that suckkk
the male gaze has destroyed my sense of worth and self esteem bc as someone who does not fit the beauty standard and rarely receives any male attention, it has convinced me that i am ugly beyond means. it’ll always be bad and unfeminine to lack curves or have small boobs, etc. comments from other women/men doesn’t help either. it really sucks.
literally same! Getting made by both boys & girls for being slim at 12 was so damaging! Hope you're doing better now!
@@estheraiyelabola9593 i’m nearly 23 and still struggling since i feel like i never really ‘developed’. but i hope you’re doing better.
Time to stop feeding into it and start doing things that make you happy
I’m so sorry! I’m chubby and I’m learning in my decentering men journey to value different things about clothes rather than if they are “flattering” (ie hide the bits of my body men don’t like and accentuate the ones they do). I’ve started to choose clothes coz I like the feel of the fabric or the sound it makes or coz it makes me look like an Edwardian lady. I’ve found it takes the focus of my body and what it should supposedly be. Just thought it might help!
sameee. im v short/skinny and i was never anyone's type in school. now as an adult it's even worse bc people still think I'm a minor or I'm just not ppls type. dating apps are a cesspool too, only thing you can find there are hookups which I'm not interested in TT slowly learning to love myself and being comfortable being single.
Oh no, girl you just angered the fashion historians with that corset rant. Tight lacing wasn’t that common and the only reason it’s brought up in the books from the time was for dramatics and male fetishes. 0-0
That club, having a requirement of wearing heels only, sees females as the product of their business. You have worded it correctly about men staying longer and spending more money. Any other “business” views this similar, like dating apps, video games, etc. This is a great video!
But.. do men really like the hourglass version more or are they conditioned to like that more, too?
That's a very good question?! 💯
Both could be true at the same time, I think
@@RedSelf Exactly this but i think at the end of the day if you look around everyone likes different things so it doesn't really matter ig
frankly i dont care😭🙏
There's a difference between the real hourglass which a large number of women have if they're a healthy weight versus the extreme one plastic surgery is normalizing.
Corsets weren’t restrictive, every women wore corsets even the women who worked 14 hour days. SOME wealthy women tightlaced but that was a tiny tiny percentage and doesn’t speak for the garment itself. Corsets are good for the redistribution of weight which helps support breasts and the many layers of clothing women wore- this made the dresses much easier to wear. The myths of every women tight-lacing and fainting from corsets was just because women would “swoon” on purpose. They also come from men trying to make women look more vein as at that time men also wore corsets however theirs were for horse- riding but also MEN would tight lace their corsets.
23:55 acknowledges the reason that corsets were created
@@rando3406 yeah that’s cool and everything but the stuff she mentioned after that just isn’t true. Women’s bones nor organs were deformed from tightlacing corsets and like I said in my original comment the fainting was purposeful. There were moronic doctors claiming that corsets “cut women livers in half” which doesn’t even make sense if you have half a brain. I’m sure if you tightlaced a corset you would have discomfort but it would go away once you took it off
@@rando3406 NK is very misinformed on this subject and she shouldn’t have spoke about it if she can’t get the basic facts right and instead used myths and concepts men made up to make women seem more vain. Stays were not restrictive especially not in the early 19th century like she says, they are incredibly similar to the modern bra and would not have been a hinderance in the slightest as women’s fashion was loose and flowy at that time. Corsets weren’t even invented until later in the 19th century before that they were all just stays. Whalebone corsets were also NOT made of whale bone.
Thanks for letting me know not to continue watching. I'd rather not listen to someone slathering about things they've not truly researched, particularly when it comes to history, but act as if they know what they are talking about.
In Laura Ingalls Wilder's books there is a scene where her mom talks about how she should tightlace and wear it at night too because that gives a thin waist which is considered very pretty. She also often boasts about how when she was a young adult her fiancée could wrap his two hands around her waist thats how small they were. And they were constantly working btw. (thankfully Laura quit that shit, she hated the corset and talked about that in the same paragraph) So i think what you explained could be the same thing that still inspired many women at the time to believe in that, who did not live close to new information. (Another weird beauty tip i read in that book is that the same mom always had her hair covering her ears because as a girl one of her teachers said that it is unladylike to have your ear visible)
as a guy the female gaze stuff looks more creative the male gaze stuff just kinda basic
Same, I've noticed on a couple tiktok accounts where the user compared their male gaze dress to their female gaze dress the latter seemed to suit their vibe or proportions a lil more which enhances the visual depth of the outfit tbh
Personally I'm gonna wear whatever I like whatever the gaze but no doubt when I wear outfits with a play on shapes or colours or materials, I feel much more stylish and myself🥰
That’s because men are boring 😂
simp
I like to think I dress for the female gaze and the male gays 😂😂 the only 2 groups who have opinions I care about
Male gays???????
@@camilatania96
Yes, because they understand and appreciate fashion ❤
❤😂 yes.
💯 the groups that feel safe
REAL
In my experience, even if you dress for the female gaze and get creative just as a means to express yourself, some men will still think you dressed lovely in order to get their attention and if you didn't want it then you would wear just basic stuff and not look pretty. Most of my clothes are oversized, but it still happens 🥲
Its true, if it wasn't for men, i would dress so cute every time i go outside. I dress cute despite men
Humans often forget that we are animals, and our clothing choices, such as wearing cropped or less restrictive garments, can be driven by a desire for comfort rather than solely by patriarchal standards. Historically, women in sub-Saharan Africa wore revealing clothing that prioritized airflow and ease. While patriarchy has imposed unrealistic beauty standards like corsets and high heels, conservative dressing can also reflect these patriarchal values.
Yes! I totally agree with this.
But were those women sexualised in ancient times?
Definitely realized that at a young age. Women who live in some of those villages and “revealing” clothing had no concept of it being sexual and neither did the men…it’s about airflow & comfort. I think it’s no coincidence that women feel the most comfy with no bra, looser clothes & prefer to not wear underwear for better freedom. It’s society who’s made these FACTS seem sexual or even “dirty.”
@@Business_collection why you believe that people having sexual desire for others is evil?
Yes sexual desire is not always a good thing just take a look around...ehhh sexual assault and the creation of perverts etc..@@Jamhael1
Society is build around pleasing men and worshipping them
Right?! Like don’t tell me sports culture isn’t a form of worship
@@rachelwharton4245you needs see the way men be talking about Lebron 💀
Exactly that’s the society they created
@@aly3a869No look at how they talk about women in sports videos disgusting
@@isabella6075 oh mb. When the person said worship I meant they meant men worshipping men in sports.
But yeah, men were complaining the beach volleyball team were wearing pants, but if we wear less were called sluts??
They don’t wanna hear this though lol. Every time you get called a “pick me “ . 😅
Because she's incorrect, most women don't dress for men, yes they follow beauty standards that are mostly from patriarchy but women don't go like "i want to impress men", they put men into consideration when they are scared, if i go at night i am not wearing a dress i wear a hoodie and baggy pants, basically to avoid the male gaze and to prove it even more is, go to an all female school and you'll see how the girls dress fashionably, the emergence of all female clubs ( straight men love to push that women go to clubs for them etc) and ofc there's women who actually dress to impress men but they're definitely not the majority of women that I see and know personally
Who is "They" Though?
@@lordnokia4222who do you think ?
@@braveone426 im asking you, soooooooooo . who ?
@@lordnokia4222 Aliens 👽
In this day and society with a lot of laws that harmfully target women’s bodies and health, if someone said I look fertile I would genuinely take that as a threat. Like, what are your intentions… especially if you don’t know me- like eewww, boo! get out of here stranger.
As a 14 year old, I love watching your videos because I think you can truly shape the girls in my generation into something better and more independent so I just wanted to say thanks for opening our minds
And honestly, Female competition drives sales and we live in a Capitalist State! The More Women dress for each other and Men, then higher the sales. Consumers report it all the time. They know this is what is going to get sales in beauty and etc. That's why plastic surgery is up in sales and clothing is getting more trashy and tight because they know about the psyche of the human mind and the competition to be seen. Sadly, it's TRUE.
Removing 6 ribs is insane, they’re there to protect your vital organs 😢
23:38 Corsets do not "squish your organs", this is a common myth. I've been wearing corsets (yes, the ones that supposedly squish your ribs and mangle ur organs) and none of that has happened...It isn't necessarily comfortable, especially at first (if you tight lace), but after a while you get used to it. Not to mention it helps A LOT with posture, which as an artist, I really needed help with.
How long have you been wearing them??? Also sure it might make your posture look good but it’s making your back weaker
I feel like just looking at people wearing extremely tight corsets, you can tell that the organs HAVE to be squished??? It’s literally impossible for them to not be squished. Just a having a small baby in your stomach squishes your organs all together, you think a corset doesn’t squish your organs??
@@mahleekuh Have YOU ever worn a corset before? If not, you can't say they "squish your organs". They do not. They are fit to your body, and gradually you size down 2-3 inches off of your waist. The first time you get one, you don't tighten it (if you want to tight lace, like I do) so the corset GETS ADJUSTED to your body, and so you feel more comfortable wearing it. After a while, you can start tight lacing and when you feel comfortable wearing it laced for around 8 hours a day, and you can do so daily, then you can size down. It doesn't squish your organs unless you PURPOSEFULY mess up and buy a corset that doesn't FIT YOU, and try to tightlace from the first day you bought it.
@@mahleekuh And plus, if you're concerned about corsets, waist trainers are a great alternative. It's just that corsets give a more permanently "snatched" look. I've started wearing them at 15. I'm 17 now and no organs have been squished, rest assured. Your floating ribs might be slightly repositioned to ACCOMODATE the corset. But nothing more, nothing less. It's a bit uncomfortable, but after a while you get used to it, and with the benefits, I find it's great and it works for me.
Hi, can you tell me where I can get a good quality corset? I’m not into tight-lacing but I do like corsets alot. I’ve looked it up online but I really like to hear reviews to be sure. Thanks in advance if you answer. 😄
I grew up with strict religious modesty standards as my conditioning. To me, that’s dressing for men. You choose clothing in hopes that it might force men to be respectful, and in hopes of attracting a godly husband one day… even when you are 10 and think boys are annoying. We couldn’t even wear a tank top or show our knees. Everything had to be ‘feminine,’ which meant stereotypical feminine colors and fabrics. We also couldn’t wear anything bold or too flashy, and we had to keep hair and makeup very subtle, and we had to be just as meek and mild as our look. It was all rules made and enforced by men.
I left that world in my teens and I was afraid to wear a lot of regular clothing that wouldn’t register as immodest to secular people until sometime in college. I had to unlearn worry about what other people think when it comes to a lot of trivial things. Now, sometimes I might line up with the male gaze but I don’t care. I wear what I wear so I look like who I am as a person. If I still dressed like I did as a kid, I’d give a wrong impression of who I am. I would look far less adventurous and extroverted. I don’t see the human body as sexual unless it’s presented as such, and you need context for that. If I am not acting sexual then the outfit is just an outfit and it doesn’t matter how people take that, because I know my intent. I have also noticed I get harassed no matter what I wear. I can have on an oversized hoodie and pajama pants, with no makeup, a messy bun, looking like Gollum because I’m sick with the flu, and some dudes will still have something nasty to say. So I’ve given up on trying to change that. I’d rather just shut them down once they start it like I’ve done most my life.
So comforting to hear this. Feel ya with the upbringing, and hoping i could build courage to wear fitting clothes like how i really want to!
This! "Dressing for the male gaze" isn't a thing; you cannot escape the male gaze whether you are naked or niquabi
For me it has to do with intentions, are you dressing f modest or sexy for the male gaze or are you doing it for youreself. I sexualized myself because I thought it would attract a man faster, I saw the sexy women get men attention faster then modest women.
What do you mean you're learning about styling clothes????! You could give us all a fashion lecture with this outfit!! The vest, the jewelry, the flower in hair - STUNNING. I love it.
tbh I stopped dressing for the male gaze when I realized I only ever felt bad about my body when I tried to be the super skinny hot girl. When I decided to dress like Barbie- and I mean like, the animated early 2000s Barbie movies- I started to feel a lot better about myself. I haven't been bothered by a single man since I did so!
Omg yes Barbie movies inspired my dress too!
I haven’t been called fertile but when I was 18 a man at least twice my age said I had “sexy childbearing hips” :/
Thats crazy💀💀
Corsets were originally an underwear ment to protect your waist from the skirts digging into your waist and to hold your bust.
The slimming use came later and were first for the upper classes and upper middle class.
Originally the VS stores were for men with a more masculine decor in dark colors like brown and green. Didn't really work though so it was changed.
I like looking “fertile” for myself because I really admire bigger hips and thighs because I really like that strong but feminine look, but it’s super uncomfortable to be called fertile. Women are also commonly conditioned that they need to be humble to a self depreciating extent or they are “stuck up” and “conceded” so most of us develop an uncomfortably with compliments anyway. We have to look good but we aren’t allowed to acknowledge we look good at all. But the fertile comment is different because it just comes off creepy
You hit the nail on the head with this one!!!
Just the fact I've been told to be careful around adult men since I was a child and actively started feeling uneasy around boys my age/adult men when I was like 13 ....
Ended up being sexually abused by my first long twrm boyfriend when I was 17 , have been harassed and touched countless times ,by strangers and people I tought of as friends ... :/
I legitimately hate being born into a womans body :/
I've wanted to get rid of my boobs ever since they started growing
But yet still had enough interelized sexism etc to dress hyper sexual when I was young and didn't know better :/
I genuinely believed nobody would like me ,if I didn't show off my body :(
Oh no :(((( I am so sorry for that. What you went trough is horrible, i hope you found inner peace and acceptence of yourself. Best wishes ❤
Hmmmmnn. I’m curious. How many kind men have you met in your life time?
Im sorry that happened :(
Men warn us about other men but when we express our fears they get offended (nOt aLl mEn 🤪) when THEY LITERALLY taught us to be cautious
@@BASSFZzThat's the only thing that came to your mind? Really? You're definitely not a kind one.
@@BASSFZz tf is wrong with you
I think it can be both true that we dress or don´t for other people, because we live in a society and we will always be aware of others and their rules, it´s just unavoidable. I don´t dress like the average person and that means to me that I don´t care how others view me but it also is true that I do care because I wanna show off my style, it sounds contradictory but both are true
this, like we are taught about first impressions,before we get to know a person whether they are male or female the first thing we see is how a person looks
I was going to make a similar comment. It’s not as black and white as dressing for men versus not dressing for men. Like you said, I like to dress in a particular way so that i’m comfortable and confident. But there are somethings that I probably wouldn’t wear because I wouldn’t want to be judged. So it’s a both/and situation.
Thank y'all so much. That's exactly how I felt. 😊😊
The thing is, most women are confident when men want them. This shouldnt be the case. You shouldnt be confident cause youre sexy or beautiful or good in bed cause thats whats important in the male gaze. You should be confident cause you work hard, you studied hard, you can do things, you survived another day in this cold harsh world. Our confidence shouldnt come from how desirable we are, it should come from how much we can achieve. Sadly, a lot of women thinks being able to twerk and expose your body is what makes up a strong women. Feminism before is all about being able to work, now its all about being able to werk.
I don’t know … I don’t shave my legs, no makeup, I’m 30 and I cut my hairs super super shorts. I take care of my health and soul.
And honestly guys doesn’t seem shocked by my apparence at all so
I don’t know what to think now
that means you are around men that care about you as a human being.
That means they could be gay
@@daijason4400 maybe you're gay
@@salsadip7453 no I don’t know them lol
@@florajego5658idk where you live but it could depend on that since there’s a cultural aspect to how much beauty standards are imposed/expected in daily life
u look stunning!
thank you i was trying something new with my outfit lol I hope I don't look too professional lmaooo
@@NkirukasWrld it suits youuuu
We're all heavily influenced by the male gaze. Like since our childhoods, through any media. It's almost impossible to dress without intuitively thinking about how men would perceive us. You don't need to actively think about it, but it still influences what you find pretty.
Corsets weren't always "restrictive" for the rich it supported the girls and snatched the waist. For the poor they were simply bras.
Flappers while could be said to play into sexual promiscuity shortening dresses. It was also a feminist movement straying from traditional female wear of the time
Just a little fashion history. Also pink wasn't a "girl" color until the holocaust with the pink triangles for gay men. It used to be masculine becuase it was close to red, which is seen as very manly then and now
Also, yes. Telling a woman she looks fertile, or worse, ‘breedable’ is a major ick. Especially if you don’t know each other. Basically you just told a stranger you want to have kids with them. Slow your role and ask her what movies she likes, or what she does for work, or if she is even single or interested in dating you. Nobody wants to have a kid with a rando in their inbox or the drunk man at the bar.
I could not stop staring at those damn jellyfish
Same lol
Same😂
I dress for the girlies who give me compliments on my outfits lol
😭 stop! Nigeria might be burning but we do have nice memes.😂
The memes are amazing fr😂😂😂
Fr tho😂
I'm telling you 😂😂
Where are my fashion history girls? PLEASE get into the comments & talk about the misconceptions about corsets. MEN spread the bs about corsets being damaging. Remember, men wrote history books, not women.
I'm on my way to the ER (routine chronic illness flare). So I can't elaborate. I really hope costume history ladies see this.
fr it’s so annoying seeing another content creator spread propaganda 😭
Hey I hope that you’re okay, get well soon
@@victoria-cp4ui Literally at 23:55 she states very clearly the intention behind corsets but that doesn't negate the fact that they've evolved
@@rando3406 she also spreads misinformation saying pregnant women need to let their kids breathe! So no, she’s still incorrect. She still acts like corsets back then were wrong too, giving the connotation that pregnant women were stupid for wearing corsets despite them being fit for pregnancy. Her information back then is wrong and she doesn’t help the narrative by only showing rich disordered women like Kim k tightlacing. She never addresses the fact that women have used corsets for support. She shamed push up bras and bras with underwire despite not giving the argument that women with bigger boobs csn be more comfortable with underwire as it supports them more and takes pressure off of their backs. She makes women seem dumb and ridiculous for wearing corsets despite working women like farmers and rich women like horseback riders being able to do stuff easily. She does not go into the issue of why corsets have become bad now vs then and just says ALL of them are bad. she doesn’t go into detail of how corsets are made nowadays and the difference in quality and how they are now cheap. She hardly shows the evolution process and gives into the Hollywood “omg i have to wear a corset for this film :(( it’s gonna hurt it’s so toxic for women” kind of mindset. so yeah I’ll stick with my original opinion that she is misinformed and this is one of my least favorite videos from her so far.
@@rando3406 the way she presents it makes it sound like, even though the intention was to be comfortable, even back then they were uncomfortable - which is factually incorrect. Corsets were made by women for women - they were very comfortable & made to fit your body, it didn't deform tue body, most women didn't tightlace they padded out to obtain the desirable silhouette. Men ruined how corsets are preceived and used nowadays, it's so frustrating but I also don't blame the creator for not knowing bc the misinformation is SO WIDESPREAD 😭
Correction: Corsets originally served the purpose bras serve. They were support garments. Some wealthy people used them to tightlace occasionally, but this was considered extreme and embarrassing to be caught doing even at the time, and not that many people did it, certainly not every day. Men really didn't like corsets for a while, in fact, the 'corsets shift your organs' thing was popularized by a male victorian doctor who hated corsets. The extreme difference in waist, hip, and bust size seemingly produced by corsets also largely wasn't the result of squeezing the waist - Pictures we have of women with tiny waists like that were the result of optical illusions and editing, and paintings were over-idealized. Padding was also somewhat commonly used for the bust and hips, because back then, the ideal figure was something you were quietly expected to achieve through safe padding you could take off at the end of the day, rather than with expensive, life-threatening surgeries like BBLs. Men also hated crinolines, poke bonnets, necklines that were too high, necklines that were too low, colors that were too fun or interesting, and all manner of other fashions pioneered by women. The French garment spoken of in this video that flattens the bust is actually called stays, and stays are not the same as corsets.
0:30 love me a history lesson
corsets were actually pretty comfortable back then! it's a common misconsception that they were incredibly tight and uncomfortable
what made the waist look smaller was usually a trick of the eye, as they added padding to the hips and such to create a "hourglass" figure
the adverts and images you see of women with impossibly small waists were often either A. Men mocking women for wearing them and making those drawings as satire, or B. Straight up editing!
a huge oversimplification, but Bernadette Banner explains it better on her channel as she goes into depth about historic fashion!
I have to say this: corsets, properly made, we're not painful, we're wanted by women for women, and were a great back support. Please do not believe the incorrect myths in regards to this specific garment. I cannot say the same for corsets made today, unless they were made by a professional like Redthreaded(a corset compan). I am sorry if this is long winded.
I was never tricked. We know that grabs their attention, but I personally enjoy looking girly due to my body type. Also, when I style clothes more intricately and use more tomboyish aesthetics like sneakers, baggy pants etc, I noticed that REALLY grabs their attention. So IRL I noticed looking hyperfeminine serves more of the female gaze and looking more Sporty is like catnip for most men.
Same! I always dress like a tomboy or in baggy clothes and yet men notice me. So I learned that any feminine clothing can be sexualized 😑
Many things can be true all at once. I wear what makes me feel comfortable and attractive. What’s also true is that I like getting compliments on those things too. What’s also true is that I care about my reputation so that does have some influence on. I don’t wake up asking myself “what’s going to get me the most attention today” but the validation is nice when it does happen ❤
I heard someone say to be able to tell if what you’re doing is authentic or not, imagine yourself doing or wearing that thing for the rest of your life. If initially you felt dread thinking of it it’s probably not coming from the right place. But if you can imagine yourself doing something and you still feel at ease that’s a sign you’re being true to yourself
The first time I wore any swimming one piece was when I was 11 at summer camp. I was learning how to swim with the other camp buddies, but the swimming instructors were both men. Of course, I was also the only "bigger" girl in our group, and tall for my age. I'll never forget one of the instructors saying that I looked fat in my one piece compared to the other girls. I was the fastest learner there, but I was never praised for swimming well. Meanwhile, the skinner, younger girls were.
That was the first time I realized that no matter how good I am at something, nothing matters if I'm not pretty/skinny.
Later on, as a teenager, I had too much anxiety to join the swim team. Now as an adult, I wish I would've had someone in my life to teach me that men's opinions on women's bodies are disgusting, and shouldn't be treated valuable.
I’ve been saying this for years ever since I became of age.
It was so traumatising to develop big boobs early as a teen, so now I'm happy they got smaller (best side of weight loss to me) and I never ever wear regular bras - I don't want to accentuate them
you know whats soo annoying? men looking at anything being feminine as a bad thing. ever since i realised this was a thing, so much changed. the way i viewed people CHANGED.
Most men don't view femininity as a bad thing. In fact, nobody hates on feminine women and idealises masculine traits more than (feminist) women.
@@CaptainLysandra the whole idea of men called gay being an insult stems from this stuff though. when a girl is masculine, no one cares, when a guy is feminine, hes insulted and called gay. also the whole thing about 'man'ing up (implying not to be such a girl) i cant come up with more examples rn but its very true.
@@tartali63 while the "maning up" attitude is bad that's directed at other men not a feminity in general, also (this part is in response to the original comment) the man up attitude comes from both men and women and is perpetuated by both sides if a man cries it's not uncommon, insulted, ignored and seen as less attractive
@@CaptainLysandra Except when men have it
@@tartali63 I was talking about femininity in women, not in men. As for feminine men, it's true, except that both men and women are guilty of shaming them, not only men. I've heard a lot of women calling it a turn off, etc
I dress to look like my Pinterest board of my dream girl icon
And this is why I dress modestly and I avoid male friendships 100%. Any time a guy wants to get with me because of lust in their hearts, I tell them I’m waiting for marriage. Gone in an instant.
Are you lesbian?
You have incredibly bad luck. Guys who are not interested in getting into your pants exist.
Even straight ones. But yeah, saying that you are waiting for marriage is an OK strategy that I can see working on some guys. Some, mind you.
There is a type of guy though that will see your wish as a challenge. "oh, she's waiting for marriage but I can trick her/change her mind", so unfortunately not foolproof. Stay prudent out there, some will pretend to understand and respect your standards to get closer to you 😢
I wish you good friendships with guys, they're possible 👍
If only you had the confidence to be honest and tell them to buzz off
@@godhimself1128Oh, I do. Immediately.
Im sorry but you are mostly wrong about corsets. For a great deal of history these were the standard for underwear not because of the altering of one’s appearance but for support. Yes, there were people who tight laced and periods when this was more popular than others but for the main population corsets were the equivalent to normal bras. The heaviness of breasts can cause pain and medical problems and that’s what the corset was there to prevent. I’m not saying that there were no people tight lacing but the myth of the corset as a symbol of oppression is exactly that, a myth. There are always extreme radical people in history but again not everyone. Corsets made life easier for people with breast because it granted support, prevented back pain and damage to the spine for people with big chests
So why were the women with small breasts forced to wear then?
@@JhatemClaasenbecause they supported the weight of the dresses they wore and smoothed out the lines. And they wore short stays in the regency era to simply act as a bra. You’ve been conditioned to think of them as things men inflicted on women which is just not true.
the amount of misunderstanding and false facts about stays and corsets is absolutely astounding... grl do your research 💀
We've been conditioned to think everything we do is for men.
Even pooping?
Even going to the bathroom?
@@BennyJulius-mu7inLMFAOOO 🤣🤣
i just opened the notification, your videos are gold and you deserve all the success you've been getting xx
If anyone other than a gyno says I look fertile, I’m running tf 😭?
To be honest, as a big chested girly I really don’t mind using a bra, I could even sleep with it and I personally use it mainly to keep them in place not for any other reason, it also makes my shape look better but I always do it for myself, not man 🥰
As another big chested girl, I agree (as long as it's a correctly fitted bra). Although I don't wear them to sleep, I do up until the very moment I get in bed. Even if I am completely alone in the house. It's easier to maneuver around with a bra keeping them in place and, for lack of a better phrase, to keep them out of my way. Nowhere in the process of getting a bra do I think about a man. I don't for a second consider a man in my process of picking out, buying, or wearing a bra.
I feel like it shouldn't be called female gaze but just equally fair portrayal of women
who tf is "we"? this sounds like a personal problem. talk to your therapist about it and leave me out of it.
i remember seeing guys talk about they didn't like the mom jeans trend cuz it was too baggy and hid the girls body. 🚩🚩as if we dress for them and also i feel most comfortable when i dress loosely
I love your videos.
I'm 14 years old girl and you really changed my mind about so many things and open my eyes on some stuff I was doing blindly.
I thank you and I'm thankful that I found you.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
i think that people have severely misunderstood what the “male gaze” is supposed to mean, the male gaze is basically how women are perceived and portrayed in a sexual/sensual manner in media in order to appeal to men. the point of the male gaze isn’t the way you dress, speak or even your looks in general it’s about a womens sex appeal and objectification which happens regardless of how you express your self. therefore a real life woman can’t dress for the male gaze but rather male VALIDATION because those are two different things (this isn’t directed towards the op btw just something i wanted to add)
Truthfully, I think women dress for men AND women. Lol. I don’t believe those who say they do it only for themselves. We dress to impress others. Do I upkeep myself for others? No, that’s more for myself because I want to feel good about myself. But wearing uncomfortable heels, bras that dig into my skin, and makeup to enhance my looks? That’s for the public.
Not everyone is like you. For example I like wearing cute clothes and pretty make-up at home and only at home. Maybe I don't like attention but love looking like a princess 💖
I agree, women dress for themselves but also dress for men, women know what men like and find attractive if we didn’t , the beauty standards for women wouldn’t be where it is today. I believe women have now realized that and are now switching to dressing in whatever they want, because it isn’t so much about pleasing men anymore, now the beauty standard is slowly changing towards modesty.
@@Wrzosach that's my point. You only wear cute clothes and pretty make-up in the comfort of your home. I'm talking about women who go out of their way to dress and appear a certain way in public.
i will NEVER EVER believe that people dress for themselves
Makeup is a form of art, and heels are just a type of fashion. People like these things, you telling me goth women who wear heavy makeup are doing it to attract men?
23:00 thats not a corset. It's a stay. It even says it in the text shown on screen. There is a difference. And tight lacing wasnt as common as we make it out to be today. It was meant to support not restrict. Women wore corsets when working, chilling and doing sport too...
who is we? I dress for me, myself and I ✌.
Here’s an example of a male gaze vs female gaze, the other day I wore an outfit to school that could be considered either, I had kinda short black skirt (almost mid thigh length), a weezer shirt that was kinda tight fitting, lots of silver jewelry and big heeled goth boots with heart buckles (6 & 1/2 heels). I got five comments on my outfit, two from girls and three from guys (the last two dont really count though bc they were from my friend that we mutually bully eachother).
1. (From generally feminin and mainstream style girl) “omg your boots are so cute!
2. (From an alt/scene girl) “your weezer shirt is amazing I love it!”
3. (Overheard from someone in the hall) “* comment about my legs then he criticized my shirt/music choices*”
4. (From friend) “WEEZER IS A HORRIBLE BAND * insert horrible comments that he was joking about *
5. (Also from friend) “if you worked at Starbucks and wore that outfit young vulnerable men would ask you to spit in their drink”
THE STORY WITH THIS CLUB AND THE SANDALS UNDER THE BUSH IS SO FUNNY 😭😭😭 but i was mad just listening to it what a dumb guy and stupid rules
I can confidently say I dress for myself 9/10 I’m not thinking about men seeing my I’m thinking about what I want to wear and what I feel confident and pretty in
As a 12 year old, absolutely YES! tt and several other platforms promote sexualizing kids, and skincare etc, me personally i felt lots of pressure to do "skincare" which made my skin all scratchy and peel-y now i can't even g out w/out feeling ugly, and especially the media makes us young girls seek validation in older men making little girls act grown which they really aren't, overall i had to learn the hard way to actually enjoy my childhood, and the main source of all this are the impossible beauty standards has set, and body, when i tell you i'm NEVER satisfied with how i look i mean it, and all this comes from us kids watching adults do makeup etc making us wanna do it it's like those scenes in movies where the kid tries on the mom's makeup but i equally feel like if tt didn't exist all these insecurities like a single 11 sec vid can make me hate everything abt me , and we all say we dress for ourselves but we really don't, like nobody actually enjoys wearing corsets, push-up bras, short tight dresses, we all do it for THE MALE GAZE, it's like that's all we're worth, but i'm glad i've learnt i'm more than that especially due to how hypersexual i grew up due to having a unsupervised device at a young age leading to p addictions and stuff like that, even MUSIC is sexual rn evrything's all about sex and body that even dances are sexual making it so hard for addicts not to relapse and i hate myself for participating in these "trends" because i know that just makes more and more people insecure, i can't even sit without thinking about how my butt is getting flat, overall just learn that you're way more than your physical appearance especially if you're a kid my age, please don't be influenced by tt and media once you fall for it, you'll js always be miserable looking to achieve those impossible standards that adults and tters set (YES i mean like "having a small waist" big boobs, big hips ,a ss everything) acc look for hapiness because EVERYONE these days js feel like copies of each other. find your self worth , don't look for it through men, people. i used to look for validation through other people and i never found it until i deleted tt and the media and acc focused on becoming healthier and learning that my body or face doesn't have to look a certain way a stranger thinks it should. (i'm sorry for the yapping)
I have an hourglass figure. I would be majorly creeped out if a guy called me fertile.
Men are also allowed to have a stomach. Whereas, even bigger woman are still expected to wear shapewear to look "flat", just bigger, too get a certain shape. And honestly, even many women who are a healthy thin (as in not underweight) often have that bit of a stomach that, in certain dresses, they're expected to wear shapewear to get rid of. Why are men allowed to have their regular body types but women have to conform to a specific shape?
They aren't? Or atleast as a man I could care less, if that's something your parents are forcing you to do you have bad ones. Social media is full of bs with filters and edited pictures so if ur comparing urself with people on say Instagram that's something you should stop. Also there still a lot men that are called fat especially in school like in P.E. being slower kind of isolates them while all the women are expected to be less athletic and given more leniency towards state testing and things like doing stretches with a weight bar, while the men in my class/school have to use the heaviest weights and are expected to grab equipment for the class because we are "stronger" I'm weak as ship and I don't want to carry their stuff. Idk but it can go both ways.
I don't believe ur still in school I'm just saying my side of the story, however i dont think any one isn't not allowed to do whatever they want so you probably shouldn't listen to whoever tells you all that stuff. Just know anyone telling you off because of what you are wearing is a beach.
The problems with corsets are highly exaggerated. While those problems are there and there is a lot to be said about women being conditioned to dress for the male gaze especially just by the fact that tightlacing exists, most corsets throughout history were made to be worn to the comfort of the wearer and to provide support. Women could ride horses and work on farms in corsets. They had to be able to move and breathe to do that. There were also corsets made specifically for men that were pretty common and I'm willing to bet things like tightlacing didn't happen as much with men who wore corsets.
As a bi person who leans into my own personal style I def still find myself looking for male validation when I’m in public. However I’m wayyyy more concerned about how my peers and other women find my outfit/think if it’s cool. For me it’s more societal but u can never really escape the male gaze no matter how hard y try. I feel like I will always be body checking when I pass a reflective surface or hoping some random person is finding me attractive on the train. It’s hard to truly feel free when you feel so perceived, it doesn’t help if ur trying to dress for urself but feel more self conscious in ur ‘weird’ or outlandish clothes.
i just wanna point out that corsets, historically, were never made for men to be sexual. they are (including stays and kirtles) are for back, breast and core support. they were what women wore for centuries, and were never tight-laced (if a woman wasn’t upper class and going to an event). they were made specifically for the woman’s measurements and were molded by months of wearing.
I am 24 and a lesbian woman. I dress akin to a teenage boy or a divorced suburban father of three. I still somehow get unwanted attention from men I don't ask for. I honestly think there is no winning no matter what you look like.
If you cover up, it's for the patriarchy; but if you dress down it's also for the patriarchy! :' D
Loved the video! Interesting watch!
THE THING ABOUT THE CORSETS IS SO WRONG GIRRLLLL IM CRYING EVERYONE IN THE COMMENTS ARE TRYNA TELLNUUUUU 😭🙏 ITS NOT JUST Aesthetic ITS ALSO FOR COMFORT BUT IM NOT A PRO ABOUT THAT THEME
the ans is, would you wear it in your house when you're alone? if yes. you wear it for yourself.
That's a flawed argument, there's clothes for you in your house and there is clothes for outside, each place and event has it's own clothes, y'all never ask men this "if you're not comfortable wearing a suit in your house then you are not wearing it for yourself" sounds kinda stupid ( i swear I'm not saying you are)
@@zizojaezekeom3565 yes there is dress for house. but if you look at men, they wear sweatshirt or tee at their house and also outside. and clearly they wear suits for others. specially other men we can't compare with men here because most men dont dress for women. they just find a neat dress they have and go for a date. but if you look at some women who does wear for men,they might dress to show their curves or skin tight or heavy makeup. and coming home they would feel exhausted.some might regret they've put on so much effort but the date was cheap. whereas you are also right. i think i do talk for certain type of women.
I actually dont think it's that simple. If we take the idea of patriarchy working like a panopticon in your head, that patriarchy teaches women to police their own behavior as if they are being watched by men all the time, that includes inside your own home. So you can't even trust your own choices when alone, you're still influenced.
It's a hard topic because I don't know if we can actually disentangle whats for us and whats not at this point.
Pyjamas for everything then! Yey! To be fair I would if I could getaway with it!
@@Acehigh-Jenkins go for it mate! normalize being comfortable!!!
Ur makeup slayed girlie