About being fostered...
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- Опубликовано: 13 дек 2024
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And I thought you couldn't be more endearing. I was wrong. Your openness is inspiring. You really know how to spread goodness to others in this world.
i know. he is endearing and cute, and in so many ways!
Hello, just some information about the fostering if you haven't seen anything yet, you've probably heard this already if you've looked into it yourself but have you thought of making her your legal guardian, I know it sounds silly as you're older and don't need notes for school anymore but this can give responsibility to her and will make her your first to call on a lot of things instead of your birth mother having to sign for things, I was brought up by my Nanna and grandad but I still need my mam to sign for things and it's a pain, so changing my legal guardian to my Nanna was much easier in that sense and make me feel like she was my protector. Hope this helps, you've helped me loads x
It is odd that at adulthood you can't, in conjunction with your foster parents make your own adoption. You can however change your name by deed poll, if you have not done so already.
VERY IMPORTANT TO READ THIS NEXT BIT - What you CAN do, is get a Power of Attorney drawn up and a Will. The POA is extremely important if you were for example to have a serious accident or become incapacitated in any way. Take for instance a road accident which could leave you on life support. Today, your birth parents would be classed as next of kin, not your foster mother and they would be the ones doctors would consult with.
I would advise, at the very least, to carry in your wallet, a letter with contact details for your foster parents, that says you regard them and only them as next of kin, date, sign and get it witnessed. Carry it at all times, and when you get a POA drawn up, put a reference to that in there too.
Regards Wills, no one should be without one. It takes forever to get things sorted out if you die intestate, and your foster parents may not get a penny.
Wayne. I hope you have read this!!!
I had a similar problem. My best friend in high school was basically kicked out of her home and came to live with my parents and me. I viewed her as my sister and my parents as another daughter. Wow what a mess it was, trying to learn how to share when I was an only child and not the physical stuff like the bathroom etc.. It was for my parents and grandparents affection. My parents didn't adopt her because they figured she wouldn't want to change her last name. When she was killed in a car accident in 2005 the legal mess was just horrible. We had no rights only her "biological" family did. Even though they hadn't seen her in over 20 years by that point. I really think the laws need to change, family is more than who's dna you have. Thank you for sharing this Wayne and as always love your honesty and candor.
And what a wonderful job that they have done with you because you are such a good person and I hope my children will have that kind of love for me
I'm sorry to hear you could not have the adoption. I asked my step-dad to adopt me when I was 28 because I loved him, he was a wonderful dad and I felt a sincere need to honor him. Hopefully, something can be worked out for you.
This is so sweet!!
I was raised the same way at 6 weeks old by my Godparents. My mom died from breast cancer, I was a fifth child and they thought it was best for me to be raised by them. I refer to them as Mom and Dad too. I don't know of any other way. They couldn't adopt me either, they were my guardians. I feel blessed though that I was loved and cared for as though I was theirs. May God Bless you Wayne!
My Dad brought me up and is not my biological father. I do not and will never recognize anyone else as my Dad, even though he also never legally adopted me. He knows he's my Dad, and I know he's my Dad and that's all that matters! You give your Mom the love and respect as her child and that means more than any legal paper could. You are mother and son in being and not only in name! You don't need paper to prove that relationship!
Hey handsome, I was fostered too (when I was 7) and went through a very similar experience here in the UK - my foster parents were able to get a Residence Order for me but as you've also found, that expires once you become 18, as law dictates you're an adult and shouldn't need your parents to interfere with anything vaguely important like medical, next of kin stuff etc ;0)
The Residence Order only shifts parental responsibility from Social Services to foster parents and still has to be shared with birth parents, which will always take priority regardless of circumstance - I had to go into hospital for an emergency operation when I was 13 and the hospital had to try and contact my paternal father for permission, even though they knew he'd had no involvement in my upbringing and had left my maternal mother when I was 2.
I know this doesn't really help you with your situation and apologies for coming late to the party, but know that you're not alone! Hopefully you've now got the law on your side - sadly my parents have both passed away now but they will always be mum and dad to me.
What a beautiful story to hear a day before Thanksgiving! I wish I could give your mom a great big hug and tell her what an amazing son she has! Happy Thanksgiving Wayne!
Your story hits home with me- I've raised my 12 y/o grandson from birth and have has his 5 y/o brother for 2 years now. My daughter has her life on track now and the youngest will be with her beginning in July. The oldest one is refusing to go with her because this is his home. While he calls me Nana, he tells me so often that I'm the only mom he's known. I'm grateful he can decide and the courts will listen. My heart would otherwise be broken for life. God love ya Wayne! ...Arleen
In Australia, we call this kinship care- where children who can't live with their parents live with a relative or friend instead. It's great to hear someone speak out about being in kinship care as it's quite a hidden thing. I run a program supporting children in kinship care and it's so important for those kids to hear that other people have been through it and have gone on to lead happy, successful lives. Thanks for the video Wayne
My friend is in the same situation as u & she also sees her foster parents as her real ones. I also think that having a kid does not automatically make u a parent. Taking care of a child, loving, bringing them up & spending time with them makes u a loving parent.
My uncle was fostered from about the same age and stay with my grandparents till he was 18. He know he has a sister and has a mother that he's met before. His story is almost the same as yours. He did try to get my grandparents 2 adopt him 2, I think it's the same law here in the US. It was a blessing in disguise! Your a special person!
Your mom and stepdad did a wonderful job raising you. You are a credit and blessing to them. And your extended RUclips siblings. Many foster stories are a nightmare. Your family handled it all so well.
My parents just became foster parents and have their first foster son now. Your parents and all those who foster make such a difference in so many kids lives and you are a wonderful example that the system can work. X
What a beautiful testament to your mother that at your age you still have a desire to be adopted by your her. Thank you for sharing your a big part of your life with us.
I too was fostered at age 11, and I am 35 now... I understand the different feelings and emotions that come along with the whole ordeal... Does not make me bitter, mean, cruel or it does not confine me or control my life. I deal with the battles in my heart and head everyday and therapy did nothing for me at all. I adore you and love watching you so much, you get make up and you teach others as well.. Keep smiling and winking I love that...
Thanks for sharing your story with us Wayne. I work in foster care/adoption as a therapist. It's so important for people to have their family ties. I see so many of the children I work with just feel complete once they are adoption process is complete. Having that sense of belonging can not be denied and means everything to a person. Big hugs to you and I hope it works out for you. Looks like you have been given some great advice here.
You speak about this beautifully
I can relate I was given to her sister when I was 3 days old. The only thing I never met my real father. I am grateful for that choice, my mother is the one who took care of me so I understand that situation. I'm sure your mother loves you dearly and is honored to hear such an open admiration and love for her.
You're just such an inspiring individual. I'm adopted, and I've known my entire life, and its so beautiful that there are other people out there who are willing to share their similar personal experiences.
You're essentially my hero.
I was a foster child too. Your mum is your mum is your mum. All that matters is that she raised you, and you love each other.
I was adopted as a baby into my *real* family who consists of two parents, older sister, older brother who passed away before I was born, and younger brother. The siblings are natural, I am the only adopted. I have always felt like I *belonged* & very special; the chosen one. I do know my natural mother and her brother, his wife & kids, my cousins, one of whom I'm very close with. I have always known &, while a different way to enter the family, am blessed beyond measure!!! Thanks for sharing!
This is such a touching video. You have this unbreakable bond with your mom and dad. I also believe that the people who bring you up are the ones who should be recognized. If there is nothing you can do legally at least you know that you are loved and appreciated by them. They will love you just as you love them unconditionally.
Been there...foster child since birth and don't know any thing about my birth parents and couldn't get any info from the agency responsible. So over it at this point. It is what it is. You have a good positive attitude about it all. That's the key.
This does my heart so good to hear. We are currently adopting two children out of foster care (their birth parents are not good) and I always wondered how it could look when they are older. Your mom did a lovely job- sounds like you were a blessing to her as well.
My grand princess is adopted, but she grew in our hearts and I can truly say that I feel no different than any other of my grand babies. Am kissing her as an infant in the photo, but she is a stunning almost 8 yr old now.
I love your story and your love for your true parents, the ones who raised you and helped you become the gentle wonderful soul you are.
I don't know why but this got me all teary eyed. Thanks so much for sharing. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE all your videos! Always so informative and well spoken.
Poem I have treasured for years,with my Kimi: not flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone, but still, miraculously my own.. Never forget, for one little minute, you weren't born under my heart, but in it. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It is now part of us and our stories, too. Love you..
Thank you for sharing! I was also given to my "mom and dad" at a young age, three months, but legally, they are not recognized as anything to me. I don't even have the same last name. At my graduation I asked for my name to be read as a hyphenated last name (without my parents knowing) and the surprise made them cry harder than my actual graduation :)
I'm an adoptive parent (obviously) and I appreciate you sharing your story. I wish you luck in trying to find a way to be adopted.
I can sort of relate, I am adopted, (birth mother gave me up at birth) I was adopted by my Mom and Dad when I was 3 moths old. I don't even know who my birth mother or father is, but the ones who raised me are the only parents I acknowledge. The ones who went through everything with you are your parents!!! Thank you for sharing.
I know a family that fostered a girl from birth and raised her as their own alongside siblings. She grew up and had a daughter who ended up in foster care herself. The grandparents were absolutely desperate to have her, but weren't allowed and the baby was sent to another family after spending most of her toddler life bouncing between families. Luckily she's got a stable home now, but it's insane how the legal issues can hurt families so much.
It was so heartwarming to hear how you speak of your mom. She sounds like a lovely woman and she certainly raised a great guy! I really hope you can find a way to get this recognized by the law. I wish I could help in some way but I'm in the US and not familiar with the UK laws.
I can tell that you care for your mother very deeply! You are an amazing person.
Your circumstances made me feel very sad. I don't know if you've found a way to achieve the results you want legally since this was posted? If not, I'm just so happy that you have a mother in your life who has made you feel loved from the beginning. I did not have that experience, unfortunately. I was not abused, nor did I feel loved. I was more so made to feel as if I could never live up to my mother's expectations and I don't have any recollection, at all, of ever being shown love physically or emotionally. I envy others who have beautiful memories or lovely current relationships with their mothers. You are blessed Wayne. You know the feeling of being loved by your mother, whether foster or not. That's such a blessing! I wish you the best and much love!
girl you have just broken my heart. I would just die if my daughter didn't know I loved her. Life is so short and all we really truly leave behind is our children and the ones we love. I make sure everyday I hug and kiss and tell my daughter how important she is to me that she is my sun and moon and I love her more than I have and will love anyone. You can't make someone show you love.y grandfather never told my mother he loved her until like a week before he died so she always thought he didn't love her because like you he never ever showed it or said it. I promise your mother loves you but shame on her for not showing that to you. Everyone deserves at least that in life, unfortunately there are too many people who never know the love of a parent. All u can do, is be better than that and show it children and loved ones how much u love the everyday. Good luck and God bless
So sweet you shared this, I can use this to talk foster kids about foster care and adoption. Thank you
Thank you for sharing your story. I myself grew up in foster care here in the states. I was raised by different strangers and group homes. I am proud to say I have been making positive moves with my life and I have not become a statistic like a lot of children here in the US who's parents where and are the state in which they where raised. Your "foster" situation is dif than mine in the way that you where brought up by family, but never the less you didn't let it affect you negatively. I can relate to you in the way in is a complicated situation to explain to people why you don't have a relationship with your birth parents. Bravo, and Thank you. :)
This is so sweet. I'm going through a situation like this myself and it's reassuring to know you love your foster mom as your own. :)
I think its beautiful that you love her that much you want her to be recognized legally for the amazing job she did raising you. My husband was adopted and knew about it from a very young age. He however has never met his real parents. But he has always said he has no anger towards his birthmother, she did what she had to do BECAUSE she loved him. While I admire and respect your intentions, its just a piece of paper. The bonds you have are much deeper and truer than any official recognition.
On another note, I'd like to say that as a mother of 2 boys who are approaching adulthood, it made me cry to hear you describe your love for your mother--that you, "love her immensely....."
Mother's Day in the US is on May 12, and hearing your sweet comments about your mother was especially touching. I hope my boys grow up to feel the way about me that you feel about your mother. You are a wonderful example of your mother's love! Thank you for sharing something so personal. :o)
This is so encouraging, you are amazing inside and out. and the fact that their are four more men walking this earth like you is amazing.
Wayne you are such a noble person it's so refreshing to hear you talk so positively about this!
I am also an attorney in the US and I came on board to suggest the EXACT same thing but then saw you had already stated it. I totally agree with Christina. I would only add that your parents should DEFINITELY prepare a will because should they predecease you, without a will, all of their assets if this were the US would NOT go to you, unless they had already given those to you or placed them in your name during their lives..they would pass according to the intestate statute to whomever..
I LOVE YOU. You just have this genuine sincere kindness about you. My grandparents raised me since I was a baby and to me my life was wonderful as well, some view it as a pity story when they speak about my moms death or my father being there but to me I was blessed. I was closest to my grandpa who is my dad in my eyes no doubt about it, he was my hero and he passed on in March of this year. After his passing what I'm getting at is even though family or society may view your guys relationship as
The fostering/adoption poem I left you, Wayne, generated questions: The author is unknown. I have been sharing it for many years and believe its message that no one can tell a child whom they must love neither is the mother-love for the child of her choice of lesser value. I totally identify with your situation as a son, since I have received two daughter myself in the same special way. They are life to me as you are to your mum. You are tied together in the bundle of life.
Hi Wayne. I just wanted to say you are a very kind ,deep soul and I think you are an amazing man. I have fostered two children as well as bringing up my own two and It was hard but a wonderful experience. I do not have a relationship with my own family as I went with my dad during my parents divorce so I feel akin to this video and you very much. If I was your Mum, the wonderful lady that brought you up I'd be very proud as I am of all my kids. love Kim xxx
What a lovely and sorted individual you are - and it is so right that the person who instilled all you are is recognised as being the moving force in your life- genes are one thing your early years entirely another- your loyalty to your "heart mother" is touching
My mom was raised almost the same way. Mind you this was in the late 1950's and she didn't find out until she was 18 years old about the whole truth. And even then should couldn't have her parents adopt her. Which is sad, but here in Canada we have the same laws as in the UK. Thank you for sharing your story, it was nice to know there are families out there that are very similar to my moms.
Thank you Wayne!
You are a very SPECIAL person Wayne!!!! That's why you had to go through such hardship... you are a chosen person.. bless your beautiful heart!!
Your a sweet, sweet man. I'm a mother to two boys. I would be proud if they grew up with strength & tenderness
Thank you for sharing- it may not be a big deal to you but it does take courage to share something so personal with people you don't necessarily know. And I can see why you love your mom so much- she did a wonderful job of raising a kind & caring man. Luv you!
Thank you so much for sharing these facts about your life with us. It is nice getting to know you better, not to be up in your business but because we feel a real connection with you. I think it is an honor that you trust us and I feel very grateful for that. Love you Wayne!
Wayne, thank you for trusting us with your life experience. I feel honoured. I live in Canada and I can't believe that there is no way to change your parental status in the UK. Especially as adults with all sides in agreement. I wish you the Best!
I hope you can find away to have your mother recognized legally. But even if you can't I am absolutely sure that just your saying it and expressing your desire for it to happen must bring such happiness to your mother!! She should be very proud of the job she did in raising such a wonderful man! Her hard work and love shows!!
Your mum must be an amazing woman. It's really beautiful to see you talk like that about her.
I was adopted as an infant. The winds of Fate could have blown me to any home, and I shudder to think of the possibilities. But I was lucky enough to land with a very loving family, and yes, they are my mom and dad. I am also a makeup freak..do you think there is any connection?? Big hug to you!!!
I am so happy you have loving parents, I am sad that you felt that you had to share such a personal story. Growing up my family had foster kids and none of them were related in any way. Good for you keeping things good in all relationships
Wonderful for you finding the love and support you needed to blossom and grow into the educated, accomplished and professional man you have become! I fostered3 needy troubled(non-related) teens and love them as much as my own! Our love travels deep tracks through our brains and deep into our hearts! Stay the course& love your True Mom Who Loves You Truely Too! Good luck! Maybe get mom as ur legal power of attorney & health guardian-if not "Mom"??
Thank you for this video Wayne! I hope you can find a way for the law to support you and your parents, the ones who raised you! You stated everything very eloquently and thoughtfully! You're wonderful, thank you for sharing this! -Love from Canada
agreed.... you're the best son..., ever
Your story reminds me of one of my friends who was also adopted when she was 6 months old. It's so touching to hear part of your life, and i hope you find a way to get your answer. Good luck xx
I was never put into the foster system but i definetly understand where you are coming from..my biological parents gave me up..i know who my real mom is but my real father was never in the picture..i was giving up to my real moms friend..just like you I have always seen my guardian as my real mom weather or not she actually brought me into this life..and sometimes people come up to me and ask why it is that I look soo different from the rest of the family..I think it is amazing that you are
The fostering/adoption poem I left you yesterday, Wayne, generated questions: The author is unknown. I have been sharing it for many years and believe its message that no one can tell a child whom they must love neither is the mother-love for the child of her choice of lesser value. I totally identify with your situation as a son, since I have received two daughter myself in the same special way. They are life to me as you are to your mum.
I wish I really knew you in person, you videos are so personal and so moving… I think we would be great friends if we were in the same area geographically. You have such a nice demeanor and you are very kind.
I hope there is a way that you can have the law acknowledge the relationship with the woman who raised you, the precious lady that you call "Mum". I have two sons, and I understand how special that relationship is between mother and son... And even if they drive me "mental" as you say (lol) nobody can replace or take away that special bond.
It's a sign of respect, it's a way to honor your mom for the relationship you have. I understand.
Your mother obviously raised you right and gave you unconditional love. That is why you are so well adjusted. Hope you find a way to make this happen.
Thank you for sharing this. My husband and I are in the process of adopting a foster child. I wish you the best of luck with getting your parents recognized at the legal level. In the states we have "DPOA" Durable power of attorney, allows that person to make choices for you if you are unable...much like a mother does.
You have this great gift of not holding grudge over people ,this is rare...you live your life to the fullest and can enjoy it!
I hope you get the legal validation/closure you're after. I'm adopted so understand the difference between "birth mother" and "mum".
Your beautiful thoughts, things you had to say about your aunt/uncle (parents) brought tears to my eyes. I think it is beautiful that you have the relationship you have with your Mother. I wish I could help you but seeing that I am American I don't know of any resources or guidance that would be beneficial to you. Take Care and Thank You for sharing something so personal.
from your attitude and the way you talk about your logical Mother I believe your adopt mom is really great woman.. because of the way she raised you
I just read Lillys message on facebook, amazing advice, I went through this years ago and to get that exact advice it took me thousands of pounds, lots of times and 4 lawyers, until the 5th was able to point me to the direction she explained to you. You are very lucky! Hope she can help you more.
Awww, you're mom sounds like the most wonderful person. You are very lucky to have been raised by her. I hope you can get it legally changed, but its the love in your heart that matters most.
I so hope Wayne you can find the help, and you can get it documented that your mom is your mom. It is important to you, and that really should be what matters as well as for her. If i find out anything that can be of any help i will most def let you know. Your mom brought you up so well, you can tell her i Applaud her for being such a remarkable mother!
Awww omg I'm fostered now and I live in a care home. Unfortunately I've never met my real family😔I have 6 half brothers, 6 half sisters, 3 real brothers and 1 real sister and I don't know them at all. I was taken away because my mum and dad were alcoholics and drug addicts and they couldn't look after me. I feel for you Wayne 😞the truth finally reveals its purpose...
I thought this was makeup related so imagine my surprise. I had no idea. You are blessed to have 2 moms. I'd say your aunt is your mom. She raised you, connected with you, loved you. She chose you! Your public declaration is sweet & while not legally binding, I'm sure it means more to her than a piece of paper. I'm sure there must be paperwork that would tie you legally to your aunt. You are a lucky son. x
What a gift you were to these lovely people and they have been a gift to you too. Thanks for sharing xx
I'm glad you had loving parents whether biological or not, love and responsibility is what matters.
Thanks so much for sharing this part of yourself with us your audience! Family comes in all sort of packages and yours is quite special. Its great when a child is fostered/adopted within their biological family. To me it makes things a bit better for everyone. I have a niece that was adopted at age 3 into our family. My bro n his wife wanted children desperately but could not have them biologically. This was the route they took. I hope things work out for you to have you mother legally recogniz
I foster and then adopted my daughter. I know that if i could not make her legally part of my family it just would not be the same. As she was growing up I told her about her birth family. so i do believe that knowledge is the best thing under those circumstances. I wish you luck in finding a way to have the world know that she is your mother no matter if she gave birth to you or not.
Bless you Wayne for sharing your story with all of us,I can understand your situation and I really hope that you can sort this out.You have so much love for the the people that raised you,I don't understand why you can not be adopted regardless of your age.
I really hope you find an outcome to this.
I'm a fostered child in United States. My biological parents did fight to get me back but when never did because they seen as a child I saw my foster mother as my Mom so in the best interest to me they kept me in the home with her and since USA, California made that decision that meant that my parents would eventually relinquish their parental rights. They did this for my mom, on my birth certificate they issued a new one naming her as my birth mother. But I'd try to see if its possible to do.
This just makes me extreamly happy to hear a positive story!!! Your mother raised you into a wonderful man!!! (:
You're such a great man, I can't tell you how much I admire you! Your manners, values and moral are so amazing. You're such a good person. I can honestly say I wanna be more like you.
Good for you for putting your story out there, for others that might need that support. I don't have experience with this but think anyone who puts themselves out there on very personal topics without agenda is a special person.
You're an amazing man. You and those that matter...you are her son & she is your mother. I hope that you can find some answers for your questions. They sure did raise you with the right morals and you just always come across as a good person.
Hi Wayne I also was in the foster system, had a few foster homes until the right ones found me when I was about 8 year's old. They took me and my two sisters. There the ones I called mom and dad. Unfortunately both my real parents have passed away and my foster mom. My dad is my savior I love him with all my heart. I know how you feel. :-)
You're such a wonderful person, you really are. one of the most honest REAL people i met on youtube, i hope you are happy, and i hope the adoption process goes the way you want it to! I am so happy to have been a subscriber for a long time to your channel and you always make me happy and smiley. so your mom did a wonderful job raising a wonderful great man like you. love from Egypt xx
Thank you for sharing. Growing up my best friend was fostered and I saw how that had impacted on her life. You are very brave and you seem to thrive in the face of adversity. I look forward to watching more of your shares both make up related and personal!! I wish you all the best. Love and light, M❤️
My husband was adopted as a newborn and we've considered adopting as we can't have more for medical reasons :) Thank you for sharing, I love how genuine your posts are.
Every open up video you make that I hear makes you more endearing and awesome. You are a wonderful person and son.
My sister was adopted by a lovly couple (wayyyyy before I came along and from my dads 1st marriage) They gave her more chances than she ever would of had if she had stayed with her birth parents, I am in contact with her and call her sissy all the time but she really isnt my sister, she is sort of a distance relative. Its hard to explained to people who dont have the situation in their family themselves.. She is amazing and i admire her over the last few years i have known her.Your all brill :)
A friend of mine is currently battling for custody her small son right now here in the US because he was biologically her deceased wife's and the state they lived in does not allow single parent adoptions except by a spouse/step-parent. They didn't think they'd have to deal with spousal death in their mid 20s and so didn't protect themselves legally, and now her parent-in-laws are keeping her son from her.
Being fostered also I think I am lucky to have a mum and dad who choose to love me no matter what.
I have a similar problem with the law not recognising my father. My mother had me at the age of 17 and my biological father was addicted to drugs, didnt take care of me and various other things and from a young age i was raised by who i consider my father. However for him to adopt me my mother would also have to and she was not willing to do that as she would be adopting her own daughter. I feel the same that he should be recognised as my father.
Wow, what a moving story. i wish you the very best with this endeavor Wayne.
Your local registry office should have info and steps to go about doing it. The law does recognise that in the UK, as Lilly said previously. Good luck, it's a fiddly process but so worth it!
Hopefully somebody out there has a positive answer for you!! but as long as you know in your heart she is your mother and she knows what wonderful job she did with you I think is all what is matter !! she must be so proud of you, you are such a great inspiring person, I admire you more now than before