Advices:::::::: 1. Crappings is SUCH a great name for poop. Thank you. 2. Making friends is like finding folks that share moments or common interests. Frankly being honest and risking sounding like a fool can get you far if you keep at it. 3. "Behave" : the people who say "Behave" instead of "buh bye" or "Take Care" are the same ones that say "Ciao" and try to sound cheeky and cultured. It's annoying but I'll probably start saying both. 4. I did agree with Matt thinking "Panda Dunk" was an expression, not a shoe type. I'm not a shoe person. 5. Matt is the only one that knows how to blow his nose correctly. 6. Humor compulsion 100% of the time is either a symptom of needing to be the center of attention or a symptom of being an idiot because you can't contribute more to a situation or convo. Not everything needs a zinger, but it's nice 70% of the time. 7. Insurance spin move: "If I could do something about ___ I would. I'm like you too, this is a awful" I think angry people want to feel heard. 8. Dog encroachment: I would get the police involved, BUT you should put "Private Property" signs around your property if you haven't already. Idk what the Candian laws are but in American states there needs to be signage of Private Property 🤔 i think. Also, putting non drying paint on your house/ window isn't a bad idea 😂 OR put a bunch of junk in front of your house, and talk loud so the neighbors think your dog got fleas and you're completely infested, and tell your dumpy neighbor to stay away because the fleas are really bad. Get creative!
Also, we say the "name it after me" here in Missouri. We also say, "Be good, or good at it!". Like be bad at it and get caught, lol. Or be good at it, and you won't get caught. SHOW-ME STATE BABIEEE!!! Love yall, thanks Matt and Chris!
2:20 on the topic of soap, Dr. Bronners is easily the best soap I’ve ever used, they use essential oils so you always have a nice clean natural scent and it doesn’t dry out your skin like the cheap ones do, I’ve been using it for years and I’ll never go back to any other soap, I use the lavender one, heavenly
I laughed really hard and thought the same thing when Chris said that shit about the grocery shopping and meme lmfao holy fuck I forgot how much I liked this podcast.
DUDE. My boss just said “be careful, and if you’re not just make it after me!” I was like “haha.. okay!” I had no clue. I had never heard it before. This is insane lmfao.
Omg!! My doxie kept getting fatter and fatter, caught her one day sneaking out the back fence and eating the damn cat food the neighbors put out for the feral cats😂😂😂 I was dying over the dog story😂😂
Lol'd at Matt saying "...&when insurance goes down, they'll be nicer..." Stock owners of ins companies said "profits must grow... we want MORE capital gains!" So it goes. Line must go up. Companies increase rates or leave the state as they have in FL as claim payouts increase due to flooding& storm damage&such. & rinse, repeat in CA due to risk of wildfires in certain parts of the state & claim payouts from past fires causes the companies' rates to increase across the entire state.
With the dog situation:make friends with the dog, invite dog in and give it a nice haircut and a nice doggy outfit and a new collar, when the owner sees this they will be very WTF in there mind. New outfit for everytime it comes over. Then take family pic with the dog, now the dog is either yours or the neighbors will do everything they can to keep their dog away from the freaks next do. Win Win.
Hey ppl from golden hour. THIS IS WHY Chris doesnt want the call in questions on there bc he deals with DUMBBBBBB questions like "how do i meet ppl" .... really... ah be better
I have met so many people who only shit every so many days. Or once a week or whatever. I shit every day, twice or sometimes three times. Sometimes I undereat, like skip eating for a day and don't even notice, and take just one shit the next day. Etc. But skipping a day of shitting? No. Impossible. How do these people not explode?
In my eyes, when you get a dog you’re getting new baby family member. They’re not gonna be easy and need all the attention to learn. It takes time but if you do it right itll be more committed and loyal than most humans hahaha
Have you experienced luxury? patreon.com/lifelineluxury
Yes and I enjoy it very much
life needs luxury to rip the hardest
Lol looks like Chris gave up on working out
Love you both, thank you for your work 🎉
Any time Matt reacts to Chris with "the dumbest thing anyone has ever said" is probably my favorite thing
“don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, but if you do, name it after me” is DEFINITELY a thing i’ve heard ppl say haha.😂
"Pets aren't lamps" needs to be on a shirt for merch 😂😂😂😂
I love fast forwarding through all of Chris’ dates and promos
U not a fan bro? Why u watch why crank sucking then?
Hahaha but sometimes you miss some banter
Thanks for supporting the show... mostly
Eh s’cock.
weird comment
The “Whoops, what’s your favourite colour?” bit had me DYINGGGG 😂😂😂
Chris' hair is a 10 today
100%
🤣🤣🤣
10w40
Oh I’m sorry am I in Chicago? because those strays are killing me, 7.0/10
3 at best.
“Never volunteer for anything.” Is such a grandpa thing to say and absolutely hilarious
If the neighbour complains about the 6 course meal out the back, tell him you’ll “fire the waiter”
The close up on Chris's finger when he pointed it is hilarious 😂😂😂😂
11:05
Sss'foreign lol😂
CHRIS!!! YOU ARE HAVING A 10/10 HAIR DAY THIS EPISODE MY G!!!
💁🏻♂️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Word
It’s so fluffy
Agreed!!!! 11/10
Both of themmm GHYATTTT
No homo but he is a sexy dude
I agree with the ones who have said "Pets Aren't Lamps" needs to be on merch.
This is the first time I have EVER seen Chris’ hair actually look good. TEN! FUCKING TEN!
💯
s'backhanded
That Facebook chairs shit killed me hahahahaha. Nothing is real.
For the guy with the neighbors dog problem… year round pop out Halloween decorations! Preferably quiet ones lol
SUNDAY IS FOR LIFELINE AHHHH'YESSS!!!!
Chris's inner brendan pissing matt right off to the moon. 😂
Chris hair is a absolute 10
Assejjbdndñnd. E pilldjkss😊😂😊😂😊😊😂😂😊😊😂😊😂😂😊😂
Advices:::::::: 1. Crappings is SUCH a great name for poop. Thank you.
2. Making friends is like finding folks that share moments or common interests. Frankly being honest and risking sounding like a fool can get you far if you keep at it.
3. "Behave" : the people who say "Behave" instead of "buh bye" or "Take Care" are the same ones that say "Ciao" and try to sound cheeky and cultured. It's annoying but I'll probably start saying both.
4. I did agree with Matt thinking "Panda Dunk" was an expression, not a shoe type. I'm not a shoe person.
5. Matt is the only one that knows how to blow his nose correctly.
6. Humor compulsion 100% of the time is either a symptom of needing to be the center of attention or a symptom of being an idiot because you can't contribute more to a situation or convo. Not everything needs a zinger, but it's nice 70% of the time.
7. Insurance spin move: "If I could do something about ___ I would. I'm like you too, this is a awful" I think angry people want to feel heard.
8. Dog encroachment: I would get the police involved, BUT you should put "Private Property" signs around your property if you haven't already. Idk what the Candian laws are but in American states there needs to be signage of Private Property 🤔 i think. Also, putting non drying paint on your house/ window isn't a bad idea 😂 OR put a bunch of junk in front of your house, and talk loud so the neighbors think your dog got fleas and you're completely infested, and tell your dumpy neighbor to stay away because the fleas are really bad. Get creative!
Matt’s hat is fighting for its life to stay connected
When Chris says Nike Dunk zombies, I got blood red mad.. They're "mummy"
Yyyeeessss dude! Sunday is complete!
The dog bit at the end 😂
Chris slippin’ in a Premo Rice line ‘sprinkle me man’😜😎
CARLO RENNER DUUUUUUUDE. CAR LOREN DUUUUUDE. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, SO FUNNY
Wull
Getting lifeline in on a Monday! AAAAAAH'YES DUDE!!
The pooch in the first vid sitting there listening to the whole thing f'ing got me. Best submission ever.
51:24 hahahah watching Matt lose his patience is hilarious hahah😂😂😂😂
Also, we say the "name it after me" here in Missouri. We also say, "Be good, or good at it!". Like be bad at it and get caught, lol. Or be good at it, and you won't get caught. SHOW-ME STATE BABIEEE!!!
Love yall, thanks Matt and Chris!
Wtf does name it after me even mean?
2:20 on the topic of soap, Dr. Bronners is easily the best soap I’ve ever used, they use essential oils so you always have a nice clean natural scent and it doesn’t dry out your skin like the cheap ones do, I’ve been using it for years and I’ll never go back to any other soap, I use the lavender one, heavenly
10:36 kudos to the dude for keeping the difficult dog ❤ aw
I think the saying goes “ don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, if you do think about me while you’re doing it”? Lol
Matt has old man fashion sense panda dunk convo explains everything
I laughed really hard and thought the same thing when Chris said that shit about the grocery shopping and meme lmfao holy fuck I forgot how much I liked this podcast.
Why wasnt this ep called Kylo Renner??
Chris' hair looks frinking amazing.
Chris' hair never has a been a ten nor will it ever be a ten.
And that's life.
Cue the musical
I like that Chris made something up and we all know he’s making shirts hoodies and hats because bags 😂
Banger episode!
bangin hair day for the both of ya
Live by the Spinmove Mentality!
Why does Matt‘s hat make me think of him driving a John Deere 🤭😂
Chris pretending he doesnt always make jokes and then revealing it was actually only once and he still thinks about was so funny
In Lifeline we trust
Long live Lifeline😑
Thanks for another great episode my favorite sibling tandem 😊
45:31 idk I saw a meme 😂 accurate response
These bots are creepin me out
Imagine this is the beginning of skynet? Terminator robots will destroy everyone while making the most random comments. 😂
Your comment is correct and informative 😂
Awh I think you'll be alright bubby
That's exactly what a bot would say 😳
Where?
Omg I said the same thing before Matt suggested giving the dog food to make it poop all day haha
DUDE. My boss just said “be careful, and if you’re not just make it after me!” I was like “haha.. okay!” I had no clue. I had never heard it before.
This is insane lmfao.
Wull
Huh
Best hair in a while
Oh ya this one is top 5 all time episodes
Six-course meal is one of the funniest bits on Lifeline. Good shit, and great shits for that dog’s owner
Omg!! My doxie kept getting fatter and fatter, caught her one day sneaking out the back fence and eating the damn cat food the neighbors put out for the feral cats😂😂😂 I was dying over the dog story😂😂
Bro needs to behave and take his time 😂
Hey you’re coming to Thunder Bay. You didn’t mention that.
Chris’ hair is a 10 in this episode
It's cool to see that Chris had Butters made into a new wig
32:20 yaay matt
Cringe
“A chair is still a chair”- Luther Vandross
Majorly or Mayorly ? I’ll never get this joke in now damnit 😂 bing bing
1st girl that has no friends is terrified because of ppl like 2nd caller who get fuming mad because someone said “behave” to them 😰
47:48 - 47:58 Funniest part of the episode😂🤣
Bro just made me spit out my food with .. "U know things may not be as It seems"
mannn its a mess in here
Just noticed that lump on Matts forearm. I have a very similar lump. Is that just a common spot for people to have lumps? idk but great episode guys.
Dude 51:18 I died
Rest of the life. 😂😂. Love it !! Hike !!
Chris, your hair today is 11/10 🙂↕️
great epidode! 🎉❤😂
Lol'd at Matt saying "...&when insurance goes down, they'll be nicer..."
Stock owners of ins companies said "profits must grow... we want MORE capital gains!" So it goes. Line must go up.
Companies increase rates or leave the state as they have in FL as claim payouts increase due to flooding& storm damage&such. & rinse, repeat in CA due to risk of wildfires in certain parts of the state & claim payouts from past fires causes the companies' rates to increase across the entire state.
With the dog situation:make friends with the dog, invite dog in and give it a nice haircut and a nice doggy outfit and a new collar, when the owner sees this they will be very WTF in there mind. New outfit for everytime it comes over. Then take family pic with the dog, now the dog is either yours or the neighbors will do everything they can to keep their dog away from the freaks next do. Win Win.
Let's gooooo babiessss
Keep thinkin Matt’s hat is a subway hat.
Came to write how good Chris’ hair looks - and everyone’s done it 👏
I made it a point to never own and wear the panda dunks, its EVERYWHERE!
Chairs
20:33 dude giving jake gyllenhaal vibes
Matt's wrong about the behave thing. NO ONE says that to basically a stranger, that's fucking crazy
He's not wrong, even though it's lame
Hair 9/10
Hey ppl from golden hour. THIS IS WHY Chris doesnt want the call in questions on there bc he deals with DUMBBBBBB questions like "how do i meet ppl" .... really... ah be better
Wull
correct
Be nice!
I have met so many people who only shit every so many days. Or once a week or whatever. I shit every day, twice or sometimes three times. Sometimes I undereat, like skip eating for a day and don't even notice, and take just one shit the next day. Etc. But skipping a day of shitting? No. Impossible. How do these people not explode?
Kylo Ren took me out 😂😂😂
In my eyes, when you get a dog you’re getting new baby family member. They’re not gonna be easy and need all the attention to learn. It takes time but if you do it right itll be more committed and loyal than most humans hahaha
A new dog doesn't require nearly the same amount of time and attention as a baby. Kind of an ignorant comment tbh
Sometimes people that mean well, adopt a dog and for whatever reason, it just doesn't work out. Unfortunately.
How was the title not "Respect the Delineation"??
Hi girl in San Diego, I will be your friend 😁 - another girl in San Diego
Intooo itttt lol
KARLO GENNER 😭😭
hair 11/10
A chair is a chair.
Chris D’Lineation
Can’t believe I’m early
To the guy with the dog….. don’t sleep with your window open and that’s obvious
Matt unironically gives amazing advice and I kinda wish he was my older bro
LIFELINE
I want Josh Duhamel to tell me to behave 🥵 😄
He told me to tell you to behave
Very interesting and relevant topic. Boop bop deep bop. Heart.
Never heard "behave" much but people constantly ask if I'm staying out of trouble and its soooo annoying. Idk where this NPC dialog comes from
Yes
🎉
I'm gay
I knew it!
Eh s’British
Wull
Bot City, Bot Bot City...... Got pics of azz and te-te 😂