I think I got Decision paralysis mostly from bad experiences from the decisions I made in the past. I'm second-guessing my decision-making process. I know that we have failures to get to those successes...I hate paying for those mistakes with the loss of money and time.
The best person to make decisions for ourselves, is ourself. Because when you defer to others for advice they are looking through the lens of their own life - not yours. Wow, that was really powerful. Thank you! Never thought of it that way.
I am stuck in this paralysis mode. I’m so overwhelmed and I have a husband who suffers from the same thing…an entire family of ADHDers. I’m 47 and just stuck. It’s a long story but fear of life mistakes is really hard. Love this video. I actually know what I want, I have done for years but what if I do it and regret doing it? Again! Really needed this video. Thank you. I’m loving your content so much (obsessively watching all your videos 😊).
I think my decision paralysis came from the fact that I was over praised as a kid, and now I feel like a failure if I don't get the best results. I sometimes stress about what best detergent to get, best smell, best cleaning effect, best price. This kind of decision would drain my energy and paralyses me.
Big life decisions are hard. I feel like some impulsive decisions that I've made in the past have not been great. It's either not enough thinking or too much thinking. It does help to recognize that there are always nuances and there isn't just one right choice.
Um...I can't even choose a place for dinner in the city! I manage my family's business and I am faced with decision-making all day long, so when I can bail and let someone else do it, I DO! I struggle with decision paralysis for my own decisions on the daily. It's exhausting. I'm willing to try your methods. Thanks for speaking my language today.
It's funny. When I became the guy at work with experience and other stores started calling me with issues I realized it's because I'll make a choice. It helps a lot that my boss has encouraged me to make a decision instead of not and that I won't get in trouble when it has to happen. It's the upside of my brain always running "what if..." scenarios while doing tedious work.
@@CarenMagill To be completely honest, I do have to stop myself from telling them "Don't trust me. I'm only pretending to be an adult." I'm turning 40 this year and I still doubt my maturity.
Head trash is a fantastic description. What’s so ironic, is that in an immediate crisis I’m fine. If I’m in a slow crisis, I’m paralyzed so I just research myself to death, overcomplicate, and get stuck in perfection.
Caren, at almost 52 I'm right there with you. I appreciate this post so much as I have many decisions to make in the foreseeable future. I'm going to pump the breaks. ;-)
I spent my whole day in decision paralysis yesterday, when I finally made a decision. it was too late /unsafe to drive the 4 hours. and I am completely mentally exhausted today.
I guess I'm the opposite. My heart gets me into a lot of trouble. Having my wits about me and thinking things through has been saving me from making ridiculous decisions.
Really loved what you said about making decisions in NEITHER the overstimated nor under- stimulated states....it so clarified the larger picture for me, thank you!
hii, just found ur channel! do u have a video addressing the concern of not being able to COMPLETE tasks assigned to u, in the given time slot at a job? an executive functioning disability requires more time and energy being spent on tasks and, in my experience, an accommodation of less work is refused by organizations, and the technological accommodations aren't good/helpful enough. would you consider this an ADHD symptom? i don't see many creators talking abt this specific symptom, they're always talking abt attention challenges
Caren, you may have made decisions in your life that you regret (as we all have). You have also made some phenomenally lucid, empowered, and successful decisions that allowed you to build the life you have today. Among the latter, creating this RUclips channel. Such high quality content! Every single one of your videos hits home for me and there I go spamming my friends with the link 😂 THANK YOU 🙏❤️
Thank you so much for this video! Very helpful description, I think I'm years stuck in one-decision-paralysis mode, it gets really overwhelming. I think your way might help, thanks!
Oh my god this is me 😩😩😩🤦♀️. Exactly me !!!! I ask everybody else’s opinion so many other people then get even more indecisive I’ve done it over relationships whether to stay in or not, buying a tent and taking it back 4 times, choosing paint it was only one colour I wanted for my hallway not even important yes I’ve asked strangers on the internet on this too 🤦♀️. When it’s important things is really painful and exhausting. I just want other people to make them for me.
I'm having trouble grasping the heart vs. head part. Maybe because Im also autistic. I lean toward literal thinking, so all of my life, the heart/head thing um... went right over my head. Please explain, what is ego? Maybe you should do a video on just that. Also, its super hard to absorb all this without concrete examples. My only takeaway after 2 viewings is "pause and ask yourself 2 questions", but I don't remember what they were. 😕
Listen again and write down the questions and any advice that resonates with you. I am a visual learner and when I resonated with a video like this that is what I do. I can then refer back to my notes to get a better understanding of what was said 😊
Some things about the ego that might help you - When you are working hard to understand something with your mind, like this comment, that is the ego at work. So try watching the video again and rather than spend the energy deciphering the message, spend some time to reflect on how it feels to you. It's good that you piped up and asked though, so you can see there is value to the busy ego mind. The ego is our protective mechanism that wants to keep us safe, so it has us thinking about every nuance of a situation. The heart is a 'knowing' energy source, more linked to the idea of the spirit. Meditation is a time to understand the ego because when sitting for 5-10 minutes you will see how active it is. And that's not a problem, meditation is about the awareness of this tendency among others.
Is there any other option besides some kind of journal? That always seems to be the answer from every therapist and life coach. I struggle with that because, for me, personally, journaling feels incredibly unsafe (and is triggering AF), so I don't even attempt it anymore, but I could really use an alternative.
How do you typically process thoughts? Are you verbal and prefer talking to someone? Or do you feel more clear after a run or walk? Journalling is just one way of processing thoughts, but there are many. The reason journaling is good for ADHD'ers is that you're less likely to forget your thoughts if you write them down. Even just bullet points on paper would be helpful.
@CarenMagill 💡 thank you. A dedicated daily "no thinking required to do this so that I can process my thoughts" activity might really be a habit I need to get into to help me regulate better. Now, to just muster up the self-discipline to actually do that, lol.
@@justanotherjezebeI if you're able to find a therapist trained in somatic processing/ therapies, or ways to do this on your own (ie. RUclips videos of guided meditations)
Excellent and timely video! Just gonna add, for those interested in a slightly deeper dive that deals with the neurobiology side of analysis paralysis-HealthyGamerGG did a video on the topic not long ago also. He gets into why our brains are hardwired to put more weight on the potential losses in a decision and less weight on if what a successful outcome would be. Highly recommend that one also if you're like me and hyperfocusing on how some decisions can just never get made. Anyway, thanks again, Caren! 🥰
This is very much me. Lately, I’m spending my life in freeze mode.
I think I got Decision paralysis mostly from bad experiences from the decisions I made in the past. I'm second-guessing my decision-making process. I know that we have failures to get to those successes...I hate paying for those mistakes with the loss of money and time.
I completely relate to this. I hope the video helped a little.
Or the constant experiences of people not going with/ supporting your decision
The part about losing money and time is the part I don't like either
Feel you! You're not alone. I believe you can heal and learn how to trust yourself again. We got this 🙏💪
SAME!!
The best person to make decisions for ourselves, is ourself. Because when you defer to others for advice they are looking through the lens of their own life - not yours. Wow, that was really powerful. Thank you! Never thought of it that way.
Glad it resonated!
That was a very ah-ha moment for me too ❤ thank you
It helps me to know that I am allowed to fail and then do damage control, learn and try again.
Yes - we are not only allowed to fail, we are expected to. There's no other way to find your way through life.
Thank you. I needed the reminder.
I am stuck in this paralysis mode. I’m so overwhelmed and I have a husband who suffers from the same thing…an entire family of ADHDers. I’m 47 and just stuck. It’s a long story but fear of life mistakes is really hard. Love this video. I actually know what I want, I have done for years but what if I do it and regret doing it? Again! Really needed this video. Thank you. I’m loving your content so much (obsessively watching all your videos 😊).
I think my decision paralysis came from the fact that I was over praised as a kid, and now I feel like a failure if I don't get the best results. I sometimes stress about what best detergent to get, best smell, best cleaning effect, best price. This kind of decision would drain my energy and paralyses me.
Big life decisions are hard. I feel like some impulsive decisions that I've made in the past have not been great. It's either not enough thinking or too much thinking. It does help to recognize that there are always nuances and there isn't just one right choice.
Is it typical for ADHD to think without nuances?
Um...I can't even choose a place for dinner in the city! I manage my family's business and I am faced with decision-making all day long, so when I can bail and let someone else do it, I DO! I struggle with decision paralysis for my own decisions on the daily. It's exhausting. I'm willing to try your methods. Thanks for speaking my language today.
Mental exhaustion is so real.😢
My motto in life is “lemme just see somethin”…takes the pressure off a bit 😅
Love that!
Yes that's great, it's similar to "I wonder what's around that corner?"
i like this lol
It's funny. When I became the guy at work with experience and other stores started calling me with issues I realized it's because I'll make a choice. It helps a lot that my boss has encouraged me to make a decision instead of not and that I won't get in trouble when it has to happen.
It's the upside of my brain always running "what if..." scenarios while doing tedious work.
that's great that you have a supportive boss that will give you room to experiment and make decisions on your own. That's a huge benefit!
@@CarenMagill To be completely honest, I do have to stop myself from telling them "Don't trust me. I'm only pretending to be an adult." I'm turning 40 this year and I still doubt my maturity.
Head trash is a fantastic description. What’s so ironic, is that in an immediate crisis I’m fine. If I’m in a slow crisis, I’m paralyzed so I just research myself to death, overcomplicate, and get stuck in perfection.
i always wanna be somewhere where im not
me too
Caren, at almost 52 I'm right there with you. I appreciate this post so much as I have many decisions to make in the foreseeable future. I'm going to pump the breaks. ;-)
I’m 50 this year and I’m this too
😭😭😭I don't have the words to express what an encouragement this vid is. Thank U Very Much.
You are so welcome
I'm glad you decided to make this video Imade a I decided to watch this and not skip.
I spent my whole day in decision paralysis yesterday, when I finally made a decision. it was too late /unsafe to drive the 4 hours.
and I am completely mentally exhausted today.
I guess I'm the opposite. My heart gets me into a lot of trouble. Having my wits about me and thinking things through has been saving me from making ridiculous decisions.
I keep trying..BUT keep reminding myself when I did it, and nothing bad happened..still pretty overwhelming.
Really loved what you said about making decisions in NEITHER the overstimated nor under- stimulated states....it so clarified the larger picture for me, thank you!
This came at such needed time for me, thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
they say its all in the timing... and your timing and insights are just what I needed! Am beyond grateful ❤😊
You are so welcome
Yes, I know what you are talking about!
hii, just found ur channel! do u have a video addressing the concern of not being able to COMPLETE tasks assigned to u, in the given time slot at a job? an executive functioning disability requires more time and energy being spent on tasks and, in my experience, an accommodation of less work is refused by organizations, and the technological accommodations aren't good/helpful enough. would you consider this an ADHD symptom? i don't see many creators talking abt this specific symptom, they're always talking abt attention challenges
Caren, you may have made decisions in your life that you regret (as we all have). You have also made some phenomenally lucid, empowered, and successful decisions that allowed you to build the life you have today. Among the latter, creating this RUclips channel. Such high quality content! Every single one of your videos hits home for me and there I go spamming my friends with the link 😂 THANK YOU 🙏❤️
Thank you, Julia!! I appreciate the support. Hope you're doing well!
I love Ellen Langer books.
Omg, I loved what she said!
Thank you so much for this video! Very helpful description, I think I'm years stuck in one-decision-paralysis mode, it gets really overwhelming. I think your way might help, thanks!
Oh my god this is me 😩😩😩🤦♀️. Exactly me !!!! I ask everybody else’s opinion so many other people then get even more indecisive I’ve done it over relationships whether to stay in or not, buying a tent and taking it back 4 times, choosing paint it was only one colour I wanted for my hallway not even important yes I’ve asked strangers on the internet on this too 🤦♀️. When it’s important things is really painful and exhausting. I just want other people to make them for me.
Thank you ❤
I'm having trouble grasping the heart vs. head part. Maybe because Im also autistic. I lean toward literal thinking, so all of my life, the heart/head thing um... went right over my head. Please explain, what is ego? Maybe you should do a video on just that. Also, its super hard to absorb all this without concrete examples. My only takeaway after 2 viewings is "pause and ask yourself 2 questions", but I don't remember what they were. 😕
Listen again and write down the questions and any advice that resonates with you. I am a visual learner and when I resonated with a video like this that is what I do.
I can then refer back to my notes to get a better understanding of what was said 😊
@@jenmontesanto4115 That doesn't work for me. The point is that I need concrete examples.
Some things about the ego that might help you - When you are working hard to understand something with your mind, like this comment, that is the ego at work. So try watching the video again and rather than spend the energy deciphering the message, spend some time to reflect on how it feels to you. It's good that you piped up and asked though, so you can see there is value to the busy ego mind.
The ego is our protective mechanism that wants to keep us safe, so it has us thinking about every nuance of a situation. The heart is a 'knowing' energy source, more linked to the idea of the spirit.
Meditation is a time to understand the ego because when sitting for 5-10 minutes you will see how active it is. And that's not a problem, meditation is about the awareness of this tendency among others.
Thank you I have such a need for this video.
Great video!!! Meant to hear this….
I have the same shirt!!
💕Floyd !
Once again a great video. well done!
Thank you! Cheers!
Thank you for this video
It's my pleasure
Is there any other option besides some kind of journal? That always seems to be the answer from every therapist and life coach. I struggle with that because, for me, personally, journaling feels incredibly unsafe (and is triggering AF), so I don't even attempt it anymore, but I could really use an alternative.
How do you typically process thoughts? Are you verbal and prefer talking to someone? Or do you feel more clear after a run or walk? Journalling is just one way of processing thoughts, but there are many. The reason journaling is good for ADHD'ers is that you're less likely to forget your thoughts if you write them down. Even just bullet points on paper would be helpful.
@CarenMagill 💡 thank you. A dedicated daily "no thinking required to do this so that I can process my thoughts" activity might really be a habit I need to get into to help me regulate better. Now, to just muster up the self-discipline to actually do that, lol.
@@justanotherjezebeI if you're able to find a therapist trained in somatic processing/ therapies, or ways to do this on your own (ie. RUclips videos of guided meditations)
I'm so happy, i found you, just wandering, do you listen Ester Hicks? Great videos, great content! ❤
Yes I do!
Excellent and timely video!
Just gonna add, for those interested in a slightly deeper dive that deals with the neurobiology side of analysis paralysis-HealthyGamerGG did a video on the topic not long ago also.
He gets into why our brains are hardwired to put more weight on the potential losses in a decision and less weight on if what a successful outcome would be. Highly recommend that one also if you're like me and hyperfocusing on how some decisions can just never get made.
Anyway, thanks again, Caren! 🥰
You look Great @ 54!
Thx
are tips for medicated people or people struggling when they arent medicated
In College, Its reading week and I haven't done sht! Fk common man why can't I get going. Just do it go now!~!@!@
Were the Same age
What does "making the decision right" even mean? You just swapped the words around I don't really understand what you're trying to say.
Just started my ADHD Meds just kicking in In sorrt to over speak you , Im truely sorry Johnny