Hello brother. I stagnated for 3 years in my relationship, our foundations were very bad, there was lack of trust and sincerity,... it all broke down 1 week ago. Your videos are helping me to have focus on self improvment and growth when ghosts from brake up starts creeping in. Thank you! ❤
Sometimes, overcompensation can be the root cause of something else as well. Relationships have always been up and down with me. However, in my case, I wound up finding out that my "nice guy" tendencies in the past were really unchecked OCD and borderline personality disorder. Overcompensating to fight off the fear of falling out of love or losing said person. Nice guy syndrome is very much a real thing. However, introspection and looking yourself in the mirror is also critical.
Bro, I broke up yesterday with my girlfriend of 9 years, was my decision, I felt that she wasn't happy with me and that was also making me unhappy, and to be honest I think that the main reason for it was that I was to nice of a guy all the time. always saying yes to everything. Not communicating my feelings and certain times just because I was afraid or being left alone, now I am...
@@Painatas I'm sorry bro, that must be hard after 9 years man. You've got a lot of time ahead of you and you may feel like you've taken one or a few steps back, but in doing this and realizing what was making you unhappy and taking the initiative to change that, you've taken a lot more steps forward than you may think. Take this time to reflect alone to reflect and think. All the best for you.
I’m stuck in a weird headspace. I feel as though my boundaries were broken down over time. I would often get yelled at by my girlfriend and it only made my fear of confrontation even worse. Personal attacks on my character and times where I shared insecurities would be thrown back in my face when trying to explain how her actions were making me feel. I don’t know if I was being overly nice and creating dissent in my girlfriend or if she was just an angry person in general. She was always very quick to anger in small situations which made me very uncomfortable in public. Was I wrong for being too sensitive with her when setting boundaries? I would say how something would make me feel and things would just spiral into her saying I don’t want to be with her and I would eventually cave on my own boundaries.
Hey, ich wollte mich für deinen Content bedanken. Auch ich als Frau kann mir sehr viel aus deinen Videos mitnehmen. Da wir uns in unseren Ansichten ähnlich sind, geben sie mir einen guten Halt und eine gute Richtung. Danke dafür :) - ach und ich liebe die Wahl deiner Hintergrundmusik! Die Musik ist sehr beruhigend.
How do you build up that "reputation"? I've been in a 10year relationship and my wife tries to bring this "Real Man" out of me. Every time I try to express/present/guide I get shot down. is it because I've been such a nice guy for so long she's unable to trust me? or just because she enjoys seeing me fail. "Women want to be guided" is BS, Women DO care about the outcome. If not I wouldn't be jumping through hoops and asking permission every time I try to do literally anything in my life...
I think it’s gone so long that she desires to bring out the “Real Man” out of you but when you do exactly that you are not only being inauthentic to yourself which she can sense but also it’s been so long she’s unable to accept you had it in you so she feels like she can trust you. I’ve seen this exact thing with my ex coworker they had a decent retlionship until she told him to stand up to other people and when he did it to her she took as much as she could and left
Well I think a man who's truly confident in himself just wouldn't let himself get shot down because his motivation is intrinsic and not dependent on external things. Maybe you'll have to push through that reaction of hers to truly change something. Of course while backing it off with competence and care for her simultaneously. I'm not such a man myself yet though so take it with a grain of salt.
I feel like there's a lot going on in those few lines you wrote. And i also think there is no easy fix or a simple solution you can "just do". If you are interested maybe grab a copy of "The way of the superior man" by Dadid Deida, the guy he mentioned multiple times in this video. You may find some representation of your situation in there so you can grasp the situation itself better. Chances are it isn't about a particular thing but rather a whole bunch that led to the situation as it now is.
I see your point about "women who want to be guided." As adults, we should be capable of steering our own lives. Unfortunately, many women refuse to take responsibility or engage in self-reflection. They often disregard advice or guidance unless it comes from their boss or close female friends.
My girl that i was with for 7 years broke up with me last week, i feel grate regret when i think about what i couldn't do to be more mature and caring for her. This video helps me understand what i can do from now on to be better when the chance comes and for that i thank you..but damn, *hope is not your girl* line hit me like a truck
she would probably be happy to know that you do feel regret and you are at least now starting to work on things. pro tip: if you like the human being that she is, you can care for her well-being even if you are not a couple. it doesnt have to be of advantage for you sexually, or socially, to "care" for her. caring for someone is not a means to an end. maturing is also not something one only does to get laid or to get recognition. adulting and wanting to adult are actually healthy with or without a relationship. you want to be who you can be, whether or not the chance comes. you want to respect yourself. you want to be a valuable member of society and you want to look back on your life one day and be proud. you also want her to be happy and to have the life she deserves, because you care for her. from human to human. from soul to soul. just like that.
@@anthrax.7745 Appreciate. Well let me know. what part of the extent are you worried about? (and are you still only thinking of one person right now who you are sexually attracted to... and secretly hoping it will eventually get you laid ;) Can you be the man who adds stability and safety to several womens lives who may be 3 years old or 97 years old? Can you allow women to feel safe and cared for and to be in their beautiful healthy feminine energy, with no strings attached at all.) Taking care that people are doing well is not about holding back. The question is how far is the scope of where people can feel your presence. People feel it: There is a man around, taking care that people are doing well. We all know when an alpha is present. Whether he is in the room or not. He may have even died two hundred years ago but what he has built is still providing safety for someone today. He is still known, acknowledged appreciated. When your ex is in your heart, and you like her as a person, then you know how to be a valuable ressource for her in her life, without making it about getting back together. You probably know a thing or two about her struggles, her dreams. When you imagine you are not her ex, but her brother or her father, you can think of what you could provide that would make a positive impact in her world and in her future. When she has a man, you will not interfere with what he provides for her. But that's about it.
Amazing video brother, thanks for the content. I was a people pleaser almost 9 years as well and started going through this healing journey recently, saying no more often, being assertive, decision making and so on. This video definitely gave me more insight and clarity on what areas I need to keep focusing on. Just one quick thing that came up to my mind that's not related to the topic, how are you holding a mic or phone for that long in every video? haha xD
You definitely can’t trust a person that always says yes. It just feels like they’ll resent you later on.
Hello brother. I stagnated for 3 years in my relationship, our foundations were very bad, there was lack of trust and sincerity,... it all broke down 1 week ago.
Your videos are helping me to have focus on self improvment and growth when ghosts from brake up starts creeping in.
Thank you! ❤
Sometimes, overcompensation can be the root cause of something else as well. Relationships have always been up and down with me. However, in my case, I wound up finding out that my "nice guy" tendencies in the past were really unchecked OCD and borderline personality disorder. Overcompensating to fight off the fear of falling out of love or losing said person. Nice guy syndrome is very much a real thing. However, introspection and looking yourself in the mirror is also critical.
Bro, I broke up yesterday with my girlfriend of 9 years, was my decision, I felt that she wasn't happy with me and that was also making me unhappy, and to be honest I think that the main reason for it was that I was to nice of a guy all the time. always saying yes to everything. Not communicating my feelings and certain times just because I was afraid or being left alone, now I am...
@@Painatas I'm sorry bro, that must be hard after 9 years man. You've got a lot of time ahead of you and you may feel like you've taken one or a few steps back, but in doing this and realizing what was making you unhappy and taking the initiative to change that, you've taken a lot more steps forward than you may think. Take this time to reflect alone to reflect and think. All the best for you.
@@akira3723 Thanks man, really appreciate your words. Have a good day.
Thank you for taking the time in your busyness for us that need this!
“Be impeccable with your word.” (Don Miguel Ruiz: The four agreements.)
Your vids are a life saver man. Appreciate your work 👏
The cow agrees😂
Beautiful vid and very enlightening ideas
I’m stuck in a weird headspace. I feel as though my boundaries were broken down over time. I would often get yelled at by my girlfriend and it only made my fear of confrontation even worse. Personal attacks on my character and times where I shared insecurities would be thrown back in my face when trying to explain how her actions were making me feel. I don’t know if I was being overly nice and creating dissent in my girlfriend or if she was just an angry person in general. She was always very quick to anger in small situations which made me very uncomfortable in public. Was I wrong for being too sensitive with her when setting boundaries? I would say how something would make me feel and things would just spiral into her saying I don’t want to be with her and I would eventually cave on my own boundaries.
Hey, ich wollte mich für deinen Content bedanken. Auch ich als Frau kann mir sehr viel aus deinen Videos mitnehmen. Da wir uns in unseren Ansichten ähnlich sind, geben sie mir einen guten Halt und eine gute Richtung. Danke dafür :) - ach und ich liebe die Wahl deiner Hintergrundmusik! Die Musik ist sehr beruhigend.
How do you build up that "reputation"?
I've been in a 10year relationship and my wife tries to bring this "Real Man" out of me. Every time I try to express/present/guide I get shot down. is it because I've been such a nice guy for so long she's unable to trust me? or just because she enjoys seeing me fail.
"Women want to be guided" is BS, Women DO care about the outcome. If not I wouldn't be jumping through hoops and asking permission every time I try to do literally anything in my life...
I think it’s gone so long that she desires to bring out the “Real Man” out of you but when you do exactly that you are not only being inauthentic to yourself which she can sense but also it’s been so long she’s unable to accept you had it in you so she feels like she can trust you. I’ve seen this exact thing with my ex coworker they had a decent retlionship until she told him to stand up to other people and when he did it to her she took as much as she could and left
Well I think a man who's truly confident in himself just wouldn't let himself get shot down because his motivation is intrinsic and not dependent on external things. Maybe you'll have to push through that reaction of hers to truly change something. Of course while backing it off with competence and care for her simultaneously. I'm not such a man myself yet though so take it with a grain of salt.
I feel like there's a lot going on in those few lines you wrote. And i also think there is no easy fix or a simple solution you can "just do". If you are interested maybe grab a copy of "The way of the superior man" by Dadid Deida, the guy he mentioned multiple times in this video. You may find some representation of your situation in there so you can grasp the situation itself better. Chances are it isn't about a particular thing but rather a whole bunch that led to the situation as it now is.
Imagine yourself as your wife for a second, why wouldn't she want that kind of man?
I see your point about "women who want to be guided." As adults, we should be capable of steering our own lives. Unfortunately, many women refuse to take responsibility or engage in self-reflection. They often disregard advice or guidance unless it comes from their boss or close female friends.
Good stuff and advice. Its much better than a lot of the relationship guru dudes that talk about passing her tests and game.
Thanks bruh. You have a good way of saying things.
Thanks for this brother. Please keep em coming!
My girl that i was with for 7 years broke up with me last week, i feel grate regret when i think about what i couldn't do to be more mature and caring for her. This video helps me understand what i can do from now on to be better when the chance comes and for that i thank you..but damn, *hope is not your girl* line hit me like a truck
she would probably be happy to know that you do feel regret and you are at least now starting to work on things. pro tip: if you like the human being that she is, you can care for her well-being even if you are not a couple. it doesnt have to be of advantage for you sexually, or socially, to "care" for her. caring for someone is not a means to an end. maturing is also not something one only does to get laid or to get recognition. adulting and wanting to adult are actually healthy with or without a relationship. you want to be who you can be, whether or not the chance comes. you want to respect yourself. you want to be a valuable member of society and you want to look back on your life one day and be proud. you also want her to be happy and to have the life she deserves, because you care for her. from human to human. from soul to soul. just like that.
@@pada5992That was really well said man. If I may ask, to what extent should I care for her well-being if we are not a couple?
@@anthrax.7745 Appreciate.
Well let me know. what part of the extent are you worried about?
(and are you still only thinking of one person right now who you are sexually attracted to... and secretly hoping it will eventually get you laid ;) Can you be the man who adds stability and safety to several womens lives who may be 3 years old or 97 years old? Can you allow women to feel safe and cared for and to be in their beautiful healthy feminine energy, with no strings attached at all.)
Taking care that people are doing well is not about holding back. The question is how far is the scope of where people can feel your presence.
People feel it: There is a man around, taking care that people are doing well. We all know when an alpha is present.
Whether he is in the room or not. He may have even died two hundred years ago but what he has built is still providing safety for someone today. He is still known, acknowledged appreciated.
When your ex is in your heart, and you like her as a person, then you know how to be a valuable ressource for her in her life, without making it about getting back together. You probably know a thing or two about her struggles, her dreams. When you imagine you are not her ex, but her brother or her father, you can think of what you could provide that would make a positive impact in her world and in her future.
When she has a man, you will not interfere with what he provides for her. But that's about it.
@@anthrax.7745 at least thats my take on it, what do i know
Amazing vid. Great job!!
Amazing video brother, thanks for the content. I was a people pleaser almost 9 years as well and started going through this healing journey recently, saying no more often, being assertive, decision making and so on. This video definitely gave me more insight and clarity on what areas I need to keep focusing on.
Just one quick thing that came up to my mind that's not related to the topic, how are you holding a mic or phone for that long in every video? haha xD
Loved this
Awesome content!
Great vid man
Love it! Keep it coming!
7:06 a good one.
0:56 😂
i thought that was my stomach