I kept thinking that there are possible john-related songs that would be so good to break down as well and finally when you talked about the "stained glass windows" part, I had to comment. I absolutely think her song "Death by a Thousand Cuts" is about John because of parallels with "Would've Could've Should've" in the way it talks about being haunted, looking for signs, etc. At the end of the day, it came so much later and refering to wine in the lyrics make me think it couldn't be something from when she was 19, but it does echo certain sentiments and I often listen to both songs together. Also "Wonderland" from 1989 makes me think of "Dear John" because it's about "going mad", how "things were never worse but never better" (pain/heaven), people warning them and so much more. it also amuses me to think it's John related because he wrote "your body is a wonderland"
I really enjoyed the inclusion of more personal insights, thank you 😊 I think it's important to note that the very act of writing Would've Could've Should've is her attempt to find some kind of catharsis. For me, the song is about realising the PTSD she has had by having been groomed by an adult when she was still a teenager. In many other songs about other relationships, she often talks about residual trauma from what happened with Mayer. She reflects on how she gets preemptively defensive when she thinks boyfriends are displaying any of the same "push and pull" behaviour and how the trauma around broken trust has caused issues in her relationships after she was with Mayer. She missed being a person who could trust freely.
I also love the fact that Taylor released Would've Could've Should've as track 19 when she was 32-years-old. No detail escapes her when she decides she's going to make a point.
Ya dude. This song hits hard. For anyone that has gone through this when you start to get to the age of the person that preyed on you, it just starts to click in...
as a child I was sexually abused and that "give me back my girlhood" line makes me cry every time. And you saying that letting go is what is needed got me. I try to do that everyday but it's so fucking hard because I don't know what person I would've been if that didn't happen to me, and I like to daydream about an innocent child just having childproblems. it's stupid but healing at the same time
Heartbreaking fact: John Mayer’s condo at the time they dated was an old church, with stained glass windows. “Stained glass windows in my mind, I regret you all the time”.
This is actually not true. John lived in his tribeca/nolita condo at that time, he never owned the condo in question with the stained glass windows, that was a rumor. Just Google John Mayer tribeca apartment to see. I think it's way more obviously a reference to his Shot in the Dark music video that he recently released during the time she would have been writing this record. Just Search shot in the dark John Mayer on RUclips and within the first 1:20 you'll see the real reference.
Despite Dear John being a total character assassination 😂 and rightfully so, it's also not harsh or anything it's literally just plain honest about her emotions and about how he behaved, and surprisingly insightful. WCS to me is of course an older, wiser version of processing what happened to her and really is more to herself than to him now.. but I'm still flawed by how well she just had it so right in Dear John already. I would not have been able to fully realize or understand just how wrong and manipulative someone's behaviour was to me at that age (much less be able to write such a flawless song about it). Anyway Taylor is a force!
The 'I regret you all the time' line really hit me, when I heard it first. It just came to me in the very dark time of falling out of an unrequited deep crush . I just felt so stupid when I slowly figured out all the little things in which they are kinda cruel. It wasn't even unhealthy or toxic, I just needed to find something to not gloryfy them anymore and to concentrate on myself first. And this was like the ultimate emotion at this point, because I was only starting to being only myself again and then I noticed how much I would've changed possibly to make it work and I really honestly knew better...
same. except the unrequited crush was me still being desperately in love with my ex boyfriend who i had been crushing on for a year before we got together. from the day we met, it took me over 2 years to be over. i’m not sure i’m even over it.
The fact that Taylor told her fans not to give him hate when Speak Now (TV) came out just shows how classy and mature she is, especially after how badly he treated her.
I know I’m kind of late but I also think that’s what people should do anyway. Focus on her genius and not give these douchebag men any more attention than they already have. These songs are all from her, the men have no part in it other than being shitty to her. We should celebrate her making something beautiful out of trauma that people can relate to and get catharsis from ❤️
@@idrisatardis5553I agree! And also, fans shouldn’t worry so much about who she is writing about. The whole point of music is that we take what we want from it, and it should be different for everybody!
Taylor said in an interview once that “you don’t have to forgive and forget to move on” and I think you expressed that as well. I think it really fits. As far as the regret goes, I saw a creator on TikTok (I think it was Mayte?) say that it’s okay to regret certain things. She said “every lesson I learned from that relationship I could have learned a different way. That man was toxic.” That felt really powerful.
I agree, I don't relate to the song or the feeling about It, but I get It, you don't have to be thankful for the awful things that have happened to you, or for bad relationships because "they taught you" lessons. They didn't taught you shit, you overcame that, by yourself, you learned about yourself, YOU, never because of the thing that happened, but IN SPITE OF IT. With your strenght, with your tools. So I agree with you about the regret, I don't think It neccesarily means being stuck, it's just some thing you wish. and you can feel the pain in Taylor lyrics and voice, I've only heard it like less than ten times total cause I have cried everytime, I feel that it's too personal (more than any other song of hers), so I feel like an intruder when I have heard it.
Taylor is so good with the accelerating, "looping" lyrics in her song to bring us into the way the anxious mind gets stuck in these repeating thought spirals. She does it in a lot of songs, but most notably "Out of the Woods," which always just *sounds* like anxiety to me ("are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods?"). I think that "I'm scared of ghosts" means she's still haunted by the memories of what happened, and that "memories feel like weapons" means both that those memories are painful and that she then takes them and uses them to hit back, putting them into songs, "living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts." But these lines could also reference the fear of repeating patterns-- and if we look at the songs that seem to be about Jake Gyllenhaal, who was *also* significantly older, a lot of the same themes come up again. I'm glad that, recently, before she played "Dear John" on tour, Taylor took a moment to say that all of this was a long time ago and that she's grown and she's not still mad about anything that happened when she was 19-- so it seems like she's at the stage of having let go and moved on now, and maybe "Would've Could've Should've" helped her do it.
I have a theory that it’s the re-recordings process that reminded her of these experiences and got her back in that hurt mindset, which would be why a lot of midnights songs are about past stuff. I think that it’s better now but I guess we’ll never really know 🤷🏻♀️
@@mathildelavoie2057 I agree, it seems natural that the rerecording process would bring up a lot of stuff, and I doubt Midnights would have happened in the way it did if she hadn't been rerecording at the same time. Even knowing she was recording Evermore at the same time as she was rerecording Fearless adds another layer to her singing, "Past me, I want to tell you not to get lost in these petty things," in "long story short"
YES! The anxiety looping is some of my favorite ways she writes. It feels like my brain and - not that the feeling is pleasant - but it's nice to know I'm not the only one constantly anxiety looping and spiraling like that.
I'm not gonna lie, this might be my favorite reaction from you. Don't get me wrong, I love your reactions as a vocal coach, but I love when people get into the lyrics and relate it back to themselves and empathize with the artist, and show little pieces of their soul. I hope to see more of this type of reaction. You're such a beautiful person, and so thoughtful with what you have to say. ❤❤❤
i say this so much!! most or some reactors only pay attention to the melody, instrumentals and/or the vocals of the song instead of paying attention to the lyrics. lyrics are so important when listening to a song, i read them every time i listen to a new song.
The way I cannot listen to this song without crying and yet I've never lived anything like this, the line "Give me back my girlhood it was mine first" hits so hard
I’ve been through similar situations as what Taylor went through. I unfortunately can relate to this song which makes it impossible to listen to without crying. The give me back my girlhood line was an absolute emotional gut punch the first time I heard it. I’m so glad that you haven’t lived through a similar situation.
In Miss Americana, Taylor talks about this desire of always being a "good girl". And I think even though she's grown and for the majority, has moved on from this relationship, the memory and thought of something that robbed her of her innocence and caused her to commit a "sin" probably still haunts her. This album is called Midnights, and includes songs about what she thinks of at midnight. So, I think it's such a personal and emotional song. I'm sure she thinks sometimes at night, if she never gave in to the devil or to this relationship, what would've or could've happened.
@chand911 you don't believe a 19 year old is more susceptible to being influenced into thinking it's okay? Sorry, a 32 year old even approaching a 19 year old in that way is creepy.
@@chand911 it's not about that. when you are a girl, hitting it off with an older man makes you feel cool. there's a lot of manipulation behind all of that. Being told you are mature for your age, that you are different from other girls. that you are special, that you are smarter, prettier, etc.from other girls. even other women. the older person has a position of power because of this. that's why it's wrong. you wouldnt get it 1. if you never been through this and 2. if you are not a girl/woman. if you dont get it, you should do a research about the emotional manipulation behind this. If you dont, just shut up since your "opinion" could/can and IS harmful to people who were victims of older men.
This lady has been a genius level songwriter since the beginning of her career. She is a once in a generation level talent. I’m 53 and it’s one been one of the great joys of my life to see this talent flower…
So WCS is from Midnights, and it totally fits and makes sense with the theme of "things that keep you up at night". That said, I do think that her releasing this song when she did was a very calculated move on her part. After Red TV came out, John Mayer saw the widespread backlash Jake Gyllenhaal got from ATW10 and as I understand it, he sort of hinted he was gonna try and somehow...sabotage the release of Speak Now TV or at the very least Dear John TV, a song he already deeply hated to begin with, so that wouldn't happen to him too when it was "his turn". I think Taylor was basically like "oh okay, well in that case here, have another one. A way worse one that's gonna make Dear John look tame by comparison". And keep in mind, WCS is one of the 3AM tracks, no one had any clue those were even coming until three hours after the main Midnights album had already dropped, only the main 13 and Hits Different had been announced in any way prior to that. So I definitely think it was a way to preempt him from trying to oppose Dear John TV when the time came. Wouldn't really matter anymore at that point when WCS is sooooo much worse. 😈😈😈 And making it track 19 on an album she released when SHE was 32, the age he was back then...I mean come on. God I love her mind.
Would LOOOVE to see more content like this from you Audrey! I'm a single 24-year-old gal who has not yet been in a relationship and it's so valuable to hear advice and perspectives from someone who has gone through it and has learned the hard lessons ♥ Wisdom deserves to be shared!
I love to hear women are waiting longer. Our brains are not fully formed until the mid-20s, and the decisions we make before then can be disastrous and sometimes deadly if we are not careful. It's crazy, I can still remember the day when I felt different. I was about to turn 24 and I woke up one day and suddenly understood and seen everything differently. I was dating a guy who was 24 when he started dating 17-year-old me and I was like "WTF is wrong with this man? That's not normal and that's not okay." From then on, life was so different because I could see through so much crap.
@@cruzinbosco You know, I wish I could say it's by choice 😅 But the truth is it's extremely hard to find a man of character nowadays. But I totally agree with you that there is certainly benefit to waiting to enter into a romantic relationship. I personally think girls are dating far too young these days. Wow, that's pretty wild. That's the difference perspective makes. Yeah you have to be careful and trust your gut, there are so many groomers and perverts out there.
@@Stardust.Creations that's so good too. You got high standards (which actually means expect bare minimum but it's too much apparently hahah) and that's good bc you're not settling for less than you deserve nor accepting anything just to avoid being lonely. Take care!! You're cool!!
When I heard the lyric 'Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" I broke down. My younger self is crying. My older self is giving my younger self a hug and Taylor's music is a balm that placed into words.
The best part is that she keeps saying "should've" in Dear John but in Would've Could've Should've she says both would've and could've but never should've.
For me the lines "I'm scared of ghosts", "memories feel like weapons" and "stained glass windows in my mind" scream traumatized. The age gap is a part of the situation, but I think she also struggled a lot with the back and forth, the love and then the denying of that love. If you pay attention to the rest of her songs, the ones she wrote when they were together, you can see how deeply she believed in that relationship and in him, and then he left her and acted as if nothing happened (at least that's what I get from the songs). I think that must have been a big shock for her. You can see this in songs that aren't about him, from the archer to anti-hero and a million other songs, she's always talking about how hard it is for her to trust people and to trust that the relationships (not only romantic ones) will work.
Omg don’t even, in Superman she talks of the guy going away ‘to work’ and something inside it doesn’t sit right. Cause superman is about John, I can only see it as John manipulating her he gets her hopes up, then goes away and leaves her but uses work as some excuse
Someone said that when they dated he lived in a refurbished church with stained glass windows, so that’s how I interpreted it. But I have no idea about that man lol so that could be totally incorrect
Regarding the shock, one aspect of problematic age gaps I don’t see discussed often is how different one’s perception of time is the younger you are. To someone in their thirties, a couple months is short-something you might consider just a few dates and not even a relationship at all-but time moves differently when you’re nineteen. Do you remember being a kid, waking up on Christmas morning before your parents and how excruciating it was waiting for when you were allowed to wake them? Thirty minutes might as well have been three days, and three hours was years that I was ready to burst while my parents, bafflingly, snored away like reindeer hadn’t just been on the roof. I used to count “one Mississippi, two Mississippi,” waiting for the school bell, because those last minutes of class felt so slow that I had to convince myself time hadn’t really slowed down just to torment me! Anyone old enough to have forgotten that feeling shouldn’t date someone still living it. Obviously Taylor didn’t believe in Santa Clause anymore, but time still went far more slowly for her than him, and she had the innocence to believe in the magic of a fairy tale romance. Two fleeting months to him became ghosts that were still haunting her thirteen years later.
Taylor really has a lot of songs that make me sad and even cry But WCS? That is the song that broke me, it makes me absolutely sob. It gave me the ability to cry on command It's the kind of song that I can't always listen to because it can be quite overwhelming The way she brings up trauma and describes it so perfectly.... It hits hard and the bridge- Her screaming "give me back my girlhood it was mine first" and it sounds like a child stomping her feet throwing a 'tantrum' because "it's mine first!" And she nails it. The emotions. The vocals. The vocals to match that emotion she wants to deliver. Oof just oof. This is her saddest song imo (and then she released You're Losing Me 😂)
@@emarie5875 oh wow yes nothing could have prepared me for Taylor's Version of Never Grow Up, hearing it again after all these years but from a grown up Taylor after you've also grown up? Oof
"memories feel like weapons" for me means that something that should be nostalgic and warm when you think about it makes you hurt instead. We all have this moment when you're just going about you day and suddenly something triggers a memory of some bad thing from your past and you almost feel attacked by this memory because you would rather forget it, but you can't.
Regarding the "Now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts" line: The way I see it is that even though Taylor's older and wiser now, John still haunts her as an omnipresent ghost (emphasided with the "I fight with you in my sleep" line), his presence alone is something she's scared of, but the "memories" that come with him "feel like weapons", making the situation even worse.
Yes. Absolutely yes. Please be real like this more often. I come from a very abusive past and have PTSD, depression, and anxiety because of it. Talking about these issues, talking about painful and uncomfortable subjects, being open and honest, all of it, helps us to heal, to learn from each other, WITH each other. Taylor uses her music to heal. I have always loved how transparent she is, how unafraid she is to be herself
ive always interpreted the line "memories feel like weapons" as a ptsd thing. one of the main symptoms is flashing back to the traumatic event and having it replay in your mind in a way that makes you feel like you have no control and are experiencing the same feelings over and over again. it makes you feel that your own memories aren't safe because they are the things hurting you and bringing you back to the most painful moments.
Your little speech to her younger self was so fantastic and I was so excited you would get to hear would’ve could’ve should’ve right after and know she got it with time ❤️
What people don’t really know about Midnights is that the songs are written based on thoughts she’s had at Midnight over the years. Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve was based on thoughts she had when she and John broke up. She regretted him because of all the hurt she’d gone through with him. Now that she’s grown and moved on, she can look back and see all the problems and she can see how bad it was. She’s showing the emotion that Speak Now Taylor had while speaking from a current Taylor perspective.
Notice how in Would've Could've Should've Taylor goes over all the Would've and the Could've.... But she doesn't mention "should've" Because that one she already expressed in Dear John "I should've known"
So apparently this song came about after the 2021 Grammys (where Taylor won album of the year for Folklore) because John Mayer was performing there. People noted at the time that he looked kinda out of it, speculating that he was drunk or high. I can only imagine Taylor sitting there in the audience, almost the same age he was when they were together, having this trigger and onslaught of bad memories. I hope that she’s healed, but I can see how that could lead to this sort of intense surge of anger/regret bc you were ok but suddenly remember and go “y’know, that was actually so fucked up, I hate that it still bothers me”. Bc she probably never got the chance to express true anger at the situation back then bc she was stuck in the ‘America’s Sweetheart’ image. Hope she got it out of her system now tho and can truly put it to rest. On a lighter note tho, I wonder if that was the night Aaron Dessner found out about that whole thing or if Taylor just got home and was like “fire up a funky guitar riff, I got some shit to say!” with no additional context 😂
I feel like she writes about how this past relationship has impacted her in the present day in The Great War “and maybe it’s the past that’s talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did”. She references tearing banners down in this song too, it feels like echos of past trauma.
You getting a bit more personal really hit home with me. I didn't grow up in an outright abusive home, but I always felt like something was missing. Over time I came to realise I learned to hide my emotions, my enthusiasm. Couldn't express myself as a fan of something if I couldn't explain why it was 'good'' or important to me. And you just made me realise that I haven't let it go yet. So thank you for sharing your thoughts. Now I will be aware of the fact that I could focus on letting it go and moving on, instead of hanging on to how unfair that felt.
I should have put in names. I meant a different guy. I thought Harry Styles was that song because of the British accent at the awards show. I’m newer to her music. I’m mostly Broadway but discovering her has been amazingly fun. Her emotions are so raw and real and that’s exactly why I love Broadway.
@@ExothermicaprilJust letting you know, Taylor wasn't with Harry at that point so the album Red has no sounds about him. It's the next album, 1989, that has Style, Out of the woods, I know places, and Wonderland (possibly more I'm not sure), that is about Harry
@@ifeelsohighschoolx Red does actually have songs about him! Theres hidden messages in the original foreword that imply i think treacherous is about Harry
When it comes to Swifties, we will always appreciate and enjoy going deeper and fleshing things out fully. It’s the core of why we love Taylor so much 🩵
This is the beauty of Taylor, her beautiful songwriting and storytelling, the way she delivers it, and her willingness to share her life which has been so beneficial to so many of us. I'm pretty sure their relationship only lasted a few months but the beginnings are the most heavenly part and then he did to her what he did to the other women he's been with, he just shuts off after he has gotten you to fall for him and you think it's your fault but he's done it many many times. I agree that he also has a past history with his demons and his fear of commitment. So in that way, he's a victim of his early life also. Loved your video and your letting us get to know you better and I'm so happy you are getting to know Taylor in depth.
She wrote would've could've should've after having to watch him perform during the 2020 Grammys I think. Such a powerful song. I hope it gave her closure for herself.
wcs is one of my favorite taylor songs because of how relatable it is for me. my dad was very emotionally/verbally/physically abusive to me throughout my entire childhood and so many of these lyrics hit me in my soul. the first time i heard it, the bridge especially made me burst into tears. “i can’t let this go” “the tomb won’t close” “i fight with you in my sleep” “the wound won’t close” “if clarity’s in death then why won’t this die” “give me back my girlhood it was mine first” it’s like she’s saying she wants so desperately for this not to be a thing that still affects her, but she doesn’t know how to make that happen. like he hurt her so deeply it’s now become part of who she is. “god rest my soul” - help me let this go.
Thank you for showing your vulnerability ❤❤ I love when reactors talk about how they relate to a song and their perspectives. And with some artists, like Taylor Swift, that can lead to some deep conversations and I'm all for that!
She says it in her song about getting him where it hurts, but I believe that's just fantasy. Because she has made it clear to her fans to leave him alone.
I don't normally comment on videos, but I absolutely loved this video. Your vulnerability speaks volumes. Being a long term swiftie, it has always pissed me off how the media never acknowledged that Taylor was a victim in this relationship. The way you straight up pointed that out with no hesitation, made my heart swell and my respect for you grow. This is probably my favorite video from your channel of all time. Thank you for taking a chance to show us this side of you
I agree. I hadn’t really thought about it that way. Because sometimes I also miss who I was before I went through crap in my late teens early 20s and then who I was before being a nurse for 9 years (bc you don’t work through the pandemic without coming out jaded a little unfortunately and that’s never who I was). So it’s refreshing to hear that statement from you.
WCS is just so incredibly written and it makes me cry every time. I think what's even crazier about it is she wrote it at 32, the age John was when they dated. I can imagine her writing it realizing quite how fucked up it all was knowing that she would never even think about being with a 19 year old at this point in her life. I think that she also has a lot of trauma from this relationship, especially because she grew up really Christian and I think she sort of lost her way/part of her faith from the relationship; I also think she was always worried about returning to a relationship similar to this just looking for comfort, especially when you look at one of her next relationships with Jake Gyllenhaal who was also much older. As a woman who is 18 and just getting into her first relationship, hearing Taylor's experiences has really helped me in making the right choices in my life, I really appreciate her being so vulnerable in her lyrics throughout her whole career.
The "give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" really shows how young she was It's as if a little kid wants to get back their toy that was taken by another child at the playground. It really shows her inner child wanting that innocence and childhood back
Not only is she using the stain glass analogy to talk about how she feels looking back, but also, at the time she was with John Mayer he was living in a remodeled church that still had the stain glass windows. It’s imagery that probably reminds her of John + her feeling of having upset god in some way for being with him. It’s a lot of guilt mixed in with sadness. This song hits so hard. And it’s even harder knowing that right after John she repeated the pattern dating Jake gyllenghal that was also older and also made her feel bad about their age difference. Probably John created a pattern in her mind that took years to break out of hence the “I miss who I used to be” and the “give me back my girlhood”.
So, Taylor had 2 bad relationships back to back and “give me back my girlhood it was mine first” I think refers to that idea naive romantic love- if you look at Red as an album, that is when the Cynicism comes in and the more realistic songs above love come in. It’s more grey and less black and white/optimistic. And “memories feel like weapons” - to me this means that both the good and the bad things in their relationship can be used to hurt each other.
yeah totally agree! til red album she always mentions love as a magical, 'enchanting' thing, but then on red she says 'love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right' :(
@@bues4 i just realized that with your comment:( that's so sad!! her reputation era definitely revived her faith in love but still held that anxiousness and insecurity e.g Delicate, Lover album.
I really liked this deeper dive and the personal stories you shared. I would absolutely love to hear more stories if there are things that you're willing to share with us. So yeah, i vote for more videos like this. It was wonderful ( and sad) to hear how you could relate to the lyrics on top of us learning a bit about HOW she is singing the lyrics. I'm a random internet stranger but I really really enjoyed this video. Hope to see more videos like this, in the future, on this channel.
i was never in an abusive relationship or anything like that, but when i was 13 i was harassed by my friend's older counsin who was like 20 something and had just had a baby. even now, five years later, i remember feeling terrified cause we were all sleeping in the same room during the trip, so when this song came out and i realized i could relate to the lyrics way more than i expected to, i broke down crying. the line "give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" always gives me the chills cause i remember how i had never been so scared before, at least not for a reason like this, and until then i hadn't realized that it was an actual possible thing to be scared of
This song hits hard. I was in a very difficult relationship at 19 to almost 23(he stalked me for years and threatened to kill me when I left) and it is def relatable. I absolutely understand the loss of innocence and regret, because it changed you forever. You move on, but getting back to who you were is not always possible. Our experiences shape us. To me the ghosts and memories like weapons are good descriptions of the Flash backs that are both scary and physically hurt.
I really enjoy your reactions. Before 6 months ago, I only listened to a few songs by Taylor Swift, but my playlist grows almost daily. She is very talented, and has lyrics that always strike emotional chords. And listening and watching her on RUclips is how I found your channel. And for that I am grateful!!
discovering danny’s channel a few months ago and binge watching it and then discovered you and THEN realizing you guys are married 5 videos in is so full circle omg
I happened to be at the Minneapolis show, night 2, and got to witness Dear John live! This was such a crazy thing for us Swifties, the crowd lost our minds!
26:40 this song talks a lot about trauma and describes it really well Both "I'm scared of ghosts" and "memories feel like weapons" are very telling of experiencing a traumatic experience, especially at such a young age But I think it also ties in to another element that is prominent in the song Me, I'm Jewish so I don't know a lot about it, but from a lot of reactors and my knowledge of Taylor and how she grew up religious- she might also be making references to Christianity purity culture She talks about god and religion multiple times throughout the song, she seems scared that she lost her way, I don't know enough about growing up in Christianity during that time in order to inform someone else about it specifically but it does seem like she might be referring to that and that is why she's scared of the past haunting her Multiple reactors mentioned it and talked about it and the subject at length via this song and shared their experiences... i highly recommend watching other people analysing this song bc sadly, me included, a lot of us can relate to it
I believe she's catholic, and as a protestant I can testify that purity is almost a commandment in christianity. We, both men and women, are encouraged to wait to our spouses to "earn a blessing". And when we don't, we have a whole lot of guilt that comes with the fact that we "lost our blessings". And as a christian who didn't "wait for the spouse" I had to deal with that guilt for a long time, and when he broke up our relationship, all eveyone could talk was how I had lost a blessing by fornicating and now I was paying for going against God, and the amount of anxiety that it came with that. I thank God I have a supportive family that held me and told me "you're going to be okay" and that helps me pay for my therapy, because the anxiety that this situation brought is no joke. There's a lot of pressure for purity.
@@pollyanasilva8106 thank you so much for sharing, I'm sorry that you went through that and I'm sending you an internet hug, I hope you're doing better now💜
I really appreciate you getting more personal and your perspective on past events. Hearing your more nuanced perspective on looking back at trauma and moving past it was very good!
I really appreciate how vulnerable and honest you were in this video. I do like seeing this side of you and really loved hearing more about you and your life. I feel like Taylor has a beautiful ability in getting people to talk about their life and experiences and creates such great opportunities to talk about the real things in life. Thank you for opening up so much here, and yes, I’d love to hear more of that in the future. ❤
Maybe this 2nd song was the catalyst that helped her heal! My hope is now she doesn’t feel that way anymore and can now see that she is who she is from what she learned from that messed up relationship!! ❤
OK so 1. I really appreciate your vulnerability and the genuineness of it. I really feel that Taylor‘s music brings that out in us because she writes things that so many of us have experienced before in someway shape or form and that it’s like having group, friggin therapy together, whenever you dive into her music and so while I appreciate your vocal analysis lots I don’t think that it’s unwelcome to also have a vulnerable side to your content if the mood strikes you. 2. The “now that I’m grown I’m scared of ghosts” she’s written in other songs about how she has carried the baggage and the fears and the hurts from her past relationships into new ones and kind of self sabotaged. She’s also a serial overthinker. 3. “Memories feel like weapons” is one of the most viscerally painful lyrics I think she’s written because there are memories that we (or people like me) to try bury because, when we remember them in detail, it’s like being stabbed by a blunt a blunt instrument 4. Side note: you can hear a stadium full of group therapy when you listen to the surprise song version of “would’ve could’ve should’ve”. The whole stadium is screaming these lyrics back at her at her sounds like a release of trauma. 😅❤ 5. Amazing reaction. Thank you so much.
The girlhood line hits so close to home. Also would love a reaction like this to bigger than the whole sky, this is me trying, the great war and you're on your own kid
I loved the deep convo in the video! Everything you said was so amazing and relaxing. I was in a similar situation and watching you talk about it was really nice! I would like you to continue with sharing small pieces of your life it was entertaining and it felt true. The powe of Taylor Swift lol
I absolutely loved what you had to say about letting go of that anger and the need to to get revenge. Getting revenge does feel good in the beginning, the point is the heal and to move forward so you can live a full and enriching life. Don’t give those who hurt you the chance to hurt you again. Thank you for speak volumes🩵
I think your response is fantastic. this is the effect Taylor has. we are all more open after hearing her lyrics. so wonderful that conversations then arise in which we all grow a little more in life.
Would've, Could've, Should've almost sounds like the stages of a breakdown about something. You go from being incredibly angry, which is that dark sound of the song, to completely breaking down about it which is the sound of the heartbreak in the bridge. I love all these reactions you're doing!!
Great reactions! As much as I appreciate the vocal coach take on performances, it is nice to incorporate personal reflections on the songwriting content, especially with a writer like Swift. “Memories feel like weapons” was a great way to refer to unresolved emotional trauma, which can weaponize memories and regrets. Worth noting that in Taylor’s Anti Hero MV, which she directed, there’s a ghost in her house on a sleepless night wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy gloves that looks pretty Mayer-like. Taylor wrote WCS with musical collaboration from Aaron Dessner after they saw JM performing at the Grammys when they performed the Folklore/Evermore medley. Understandable if that combined with her re-recording Speak Now led to processing some unresolved trauma. Mayer lived in a converted church with stained glass windows when he and Swift dated, hence the stained glass windows lyrics. And props for Swift for turning the “promising young man” trope around with “promising grown man”. Swift has a gift for conveying complicated emotions through her songs - from the anxiety, anger and religious guilt associated with WCS to the anxiety over relationships and people leaving that we hear on songs like The Archer and Labyrinth.
This was amazing I would love to see more like this in the future!💕 Some that I would love to see would be Tolerate It and This is Me Trying if you haven’t reacted to those yet!
i don't comment often but all of your takes/advice that came with this reaction hit home and it's so healing to someone like me who loves these songs having had a similar situation thank you
I wanna thank you so much for this video, cause it was a therapy to me! I related to this song since the first time I listened to it, cause I got through the exact same thing and I still feel the same way as she does, this memories of who you used to be and that you used to be proud of who you were and someone destroyed it, destroyed every piece of you and you just could never be the same anymore… You’ll never be who you once were again, and you loved who you were… it haunts you every day, it hurts everyday, and it never goes away… And it’s so deep and so warming what you said about learning how to love this new version of you… Cause that’s what I’ve been trying to do all of these years, but I just can’t let go who I was, I loved who I was and someone took this away from me, and it will never come back… This is what I just can’t accept… But I’m still trying everyday… Your words were therapy to me, I even recorded what you said so I can watch it again and again and maybe someday I can feel healed… but you words were GOLD, and I’m so happy I found you channel today… Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! Thank you so much! 💖💖💖💖
What I love about these 2 together is that Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve was written when we was 32. The perspective from the other side about how a grown ass adult SHOULD treat a 19 year old is so real.
So the way I see it, Would've Could've Should've is about how much the relationship affected her personality as a whole. 19 is the age where you're becoming an adult and saying goodbye to your childhood. I think for her, having a bad relationship at that age, meant having that transition ripped from her. So she never got the chance to make a decision over things that may be seen as indicative of innocence. I think it's a song about how he robbed her of that moment of finding herself as an adult, and the fact that it was very much public didn't help either. So when she mentions the "crisis of faith" she's both literally talking about how she used to be very religious and that relationship drove her away from that aspect of her life but also how her innocence was taken from her by someone else. I think the "give me back my girlhood" line isn't necessarily about her virginity like some say, but about her innocence. She's mourning now, because she couldn't mourn then. Also, "would've, could've, should've" can be a reference to the grief stages (would = negotiation, could = denial, should = anger)
I've been binging your videos all night & I love your reactions, vocal analysis, AND tidbits of your life. hearing these (unfortunately) universal experiences expressed in a song is so cathartic (thank you taylor for doing god's work). & on top of that, seeing other women relate & use these songs to heal from their own experiences is so therapeutic. also, hearing from you that it DOES get better as you get older, to not spend time holding grief & anger & sadness from past mistakes, is so healing as well. sorry I love your channel LOL 💗
I loved learning about you and your opinions and wisdom Audrey!! Yes to digging deeper because RUclips can be a bit much sometimes so yes i enjoyed this 💜💜💜
One of the best videos I've seen from you ever! I like other reactions more, musice wise, but the feeling that I was actually having a conversation with you about sooooo many serious subjects and what's behind not only the vocals but the lyrics of these two songs made this feel more "casual", not to say "intimate" and sound weird. Loved it!
My favourite thing is that Dear John ( letter) is a term with the definition a wife or girlfriend that is informing him that their relationship is over. So technically she isn’t saying it’s about John but she is using the term dear John. And I just think that is so freaking smart!
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I think the song you mean is Blank Space “got a Long list of ex lovers” it is 1989
I kept thinking that there are possible john-related songs that would be so good to break down as well and finally when you talked about the "stained glass windows" part, I had to comment.
I absolutely think her song "Death by a Thousand Cuts" is about John because of parallels with "Would've Could've Should've" in the way it talks about being haunted, looking for signs, etc.
At the end of the day, it came so much later and refering to wine in the lyrics make me think it couldn't be something from when she was 19, but it does echo certain sentiments and I often listen to both songs together.
Also "Wonderland" from 1989 makes me think of "Dear John" because it's about "going mad", how "things were never worse but never better" (pain/heaven), people warning them and so much more. it also amuses me to think it's John related because he wrote "your body is a wonderland"
I'm so sorry for what you've been through with your family and former boyfriend. You seem to be so joyful and nice! 😊
I really enjoyed the inclusion of more personal insights, thank you 😊
I think it's important to note that the very act of writing Would've Could've Should've is her attempt to find some kind of catharsis.
For me, the song is about realising the PTSD she has had by having been groomed by an adult when she was still a teenager.
In many other songs about other relationships, she often talks about residual trauma from what happened with Mayer.
She reflects on how she gets preemptively defensive when she thinks boyfriends are displaying any of the same "push and pull" behaviour and how the trauma around broken trust has caused issues in her relationships after she was with Mayer.
She missed being a person who could trust freely.
I also love the fact that Taylor released Would've Could've Should've as track 19 when she was 32-years-old. No detail escapes her when she decides she's going to make a point.
She wrote the song when she was 32
no you're right idk why I was thinking about Speak now tv
Ya dude. This song hits hard. For anyone that has gone through this when you start to get to the age of the person that preyed on you, it just starts to click in...
To put it into perspective when she would’ve just been born he was almost 14
omgg this adds to the situation being so much more sad and unbearably painful@@Peachmain1
as a child I was sexually abused and that "give me back my girlhood" line makes me cry every time. And you saying that letting go is what is needed got me. I try to do that everyday but it's so fucking hard because I don't know what person I would've been if that didn't happen to me, and I like to daydream about an innocent child just having childproblems. it's stupid but healing at the same time
“I don’t usually get personal on my page, but…”
This is the Taylor Swift effect!
Heartbreaking fact: John Mayer’s condo at the time they dated was an old church, with stained glass windows.
“Stained glass windows in my mind, I regret you all the time”.
That is heartbreaking :(
This is actually not true. John lived in his tribeca/nolita condo at that time, he never owned the condo in question with the stained glass windows, that was a rumor. Just Google John Mayer tribeca apartment to see.
I think it's way more obviously a reference to his Shot in the Dark music video that he recently released during the time she would have been writing this record. Just Search shot in the dark John Mayer on RUclips and within the first 1:20 you'll see the real reference.
@@JordansTake35They collabed on Half of My Heart which has stain glass windows in the video.
You've gotta watch the live version of Dear John- Her facial expressions are top notch
yessss!!
yes i came here to say this
Oh yessssss. At some point watch the speak now tour version. The sadness, anger and sass is on POINT. ❤
Yess!!
And the fireworks at the end!
Her growth between these two songs is incredible. Dear John is her revenge song to hurt him. WCS is her song for herself to process what happened
Despite Dear John being a total character assassination 😂 and rightfully so, it's also not harsh or anything it's literally just plain honest about her emotions and about how he behaved, and surprisingly insightful. WCS to me is of course an older, wiser version of processing what happened to her and really is more to herself than to him now.. but I'm still flawed by how well she just had it so right in Dear John already. I would not have been able to fully realize or understand just how wrong and manipulative someone's behaviour was to me at that age (much less be able to write such a flawless song about it). Anyway Taylor is a force!
I don't see Desr John as a revenge song.
The 'I regret you all the time' line really hit me, when I heard it first. It just came to me in the very dark time of falling out of an unrequited deep crush . I just felt so stupid when I slowly figured out all the little things in which they are kinda cruel. It wasn't even unhealthy or toxic, I just needed to find something to not gloryfy them anymore and to concentrate on myself first. And this was like the ultimate emotion at this point, because I was only starting to being only myself again and then I noticed how much I would've changed possibly to make it work and I really honestly knew better...
same!
Me too girl
same. except the unrequited crush was me still being desperately in love with my ex boyfriend who i had been crushing on for a year before we got together. from the day we met, it took me over 2 years to be over. i’m not sure i’m even over it.
The fact that Taylor told her fans not to give him hate when Speak Now (TV) came out just shows how classy and mature she is, especially after how badly he treated her.
I know I’m kind of late but I also think that’s what people should do anyway. Focus on her genius and not give these douchebag men any more attention than they already have. These songs are all from her, the men have no part in it other than being shitty to her. We should celebrate her making something beautiful out of trauma that people can relate to and get catharsis from ❤️
@@idrisatardis5553I agree! And also, fans shouldn’t worry so much about who she is writing about. The whole point of music is that we take what we want from it, and it should be different for everybody!
Taylor said in an interview once that “you don’t have to forgive and forget to move on” and I think you expressed that as well. I think it really fits.
As far as the regret goes, I saw a creator on TikTok (I think it was Mayte?) say that it’s okay to regret certain things. She said “every lesson I learned from that relationship I could have learned a different way. That man was toxic.” That felt really powerful.
I agree, I don't relate to the song or the feeling about It, but I get It, you don't have to be thankful for the awful things that have happened to you, or for bad relationships because "they taught you" lessons. They didn't taught you shit, you overcame that, by yourself, you learned about yourself, YOU, never because of the thing that happened, but IN SPITE OF IT. With your strenght, with your tools. So I agree with you about the regret, I don't think It neccesarily means being stuck, it's just some thing you wish.
and you can feel the pain in Taylor lyrics and voice, I've only heard it like less than ten times total cause I have cried everytime, I feel that it's too personal (more than any other song of hers), so I feel like an intruder when I have heard it.
Taylor is so good with the accelerating, "looping" lyrics in her song to bring us into the way the anxious mind gets stuck in these repeating thought spirals. She does it in a lot of songs, but most notably "Out of the Woods," which always just *sounds* like anxiety to me ("are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods?").
I think that "I'm scared of ghosts" means she's still haunted by the memories of what happened, and that "memories feel like weapons" means both that those memories are painful and that she then takes them and uses them to hit back, putting them into songs, "living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts." But these lines could also reference the fear of repeating patterns-- and if we look at the songs that seem to be about Jake Gyllenhaal, who was *also* significantly older, a lot of the same themes come up again.
I'm glad that, recently, before she played "Dear John" on tour, Taylor took a moment to say that all of this was a long time ago and that she's grown and she's not still mad about anything that happened when she was 19-- so it seems like she's at the stage of having let go and moved on now, and maybe "Would've Could've Should've" helped her do it.
I have a theory that it’s the re-recordings process that reminded her of these experiences and got her back in that hurt mindset, which would be why a lot of midnights songs are about past stuff. I think that it’s better now but I guess we’ll never really know 🤷🏻♀️
@@mathildelavoie2057 I agree, it seems natural that the rerecording process would bring up a lot of stuff, and I doubt Midnights would have happened in the way it did if she hadn't been rerecording at the same time. Even knowing she was recording Evermore at the same time as she was rerecording Fearless adds another layer to her singing, "Past me, I want to tell you not to get lost in these petty things," in "long story short"
@@mathildelavoie2057and the fact that shes not only the age that kanye was when he hurt her, but also age john mayer was when they started dating
AND THE ARCHER!
YES! The anxiety looping is some of my favorite ways she writes. It feels like my brain and - not that the feeling is pleasant - but it's nice to know I'm not the only one constantly anxiety looping and spiraling like that.
I'm not gonna lie, this might be my favorite reaction from you. Don't get me wrong, I love your reactions as a vocal coach, but I love when people get into the lyrics and relate it back to themselves and empathize with the artist, and show little pieces of their soul. I hope to see more of this type of reaction. You're such a beautiful person, and so thoughtful with what you have to say. ❤❤❤
i say this so much!! most or some reactors only pay attention to the melody, instrumentals and/or the vocals of the song instead of paying attention to the lyrics. lyrics are so important when listening to a song, i read them every time i listen to a new song.
The way I cannot listen to this song without crying and yet I've never lived anything like this, the line "Give me back my girlhood it was mine first" hits so hard
I’ve been through similar situations as what Taylor went through. I unfortunately can relate to this song which makes it impossible to listen to without crying. The give me back my girlhood line was an absolute emotional gut punch the first time I heard it. I’m so glad that you haven’t lived through a similar situation.
In Miss Americana, Taylor talks about this desire of always being a "good girl". And I think even though she's grown and for the majority, has moved on from this relationship, the memory and thought of something that robbed her of her innocence and caused her to commit a "sin" probably still haunts her. This album is called Midnights, and includes songs about what she thinks of at midnight. So, I think it's such a personal and emotional song. I'm sure she thinks sometimes at night, if she never gave in to the devil or to this relationship, what would've or could've happened.
Yesss!! I think the same way!
No one held a gun to her head to make her date older men... It's insane none of her fans recognize responsibility is a two-way street.
manipulation is a thing@@chand911
@chand911 you don't believe a 19 year old is more susceptible to being influenced into thinking it's okay? Sorry, a 32 year old even approaching a 19 year old in that way is creepy.
@@chand911 it's not about that. when you are a girl, hitting it off with an older man makes you feel cool. there's a lot of manipulation behind all of that. Being told you are mature for your age, that you are different from other girls. that you are special, that you are smarter, prettier, etc.from other girls. even other women. the older person has a position of power because of this. that's why it's wrong. you wouldnt get it 1. if you never been through this and 2. if you are not a girl/woman. if you dont get it, you should do a research about the emotional manipulation behind this. If you dont, just shut up since your "opinion" could/can and IS harmful to people who were victims of older men.
This lady has been a genius level songwriter since the beginning of her career. She is a once in a generation level talent. I’m 53 and it’s one been one of the great joys of my life to see this talent flower…
So WCS is from Midnights, and it totally fits and makes sense with the theme of "things that keep you up at night". That said, I do think that her releasing this song when she did was a very calculated move on her part. After Red TV came out, John Mayer saw the widespread backlash Jake Gyllenhaal got from ATW10 and as I understand it, he sort of hinted he was gonna try and somehow...sabotage the release of Speak Now TV or at the very least Dear John TV, a song he already deeply hated to begin with, so that wouldn't happen to him too when it was "his turn". I think Taylor was basically like "oh okay, well in that case here, have another one. A way worse one that's gonna make Dear John look tame by comparison". And keep in mind, WCS is one of the 3AM tracks, no one had any clue those were even coming until three hours after the main Midnights album had already dropped, only the main 13 and Hits Different had been announced in any way prior to that. So I definitely think it was a way to preempt him from trying to oppose Dear John TV when the time came. Wouldn't really matter anymore at that point when WCS is sooooo much worse. 😈😈😈 And making it track 19 on an album she released when SHE was 32, the age he was back then...I mean come on. God I love her mind.
Would LOOOVE to see more content like this from you Audrey! I'm a single 24-year-old gal who has not yet been in a relationship and it's so valuable to hear advice and perspectives from someone who has gone through it and has learned the hard lessons ♥ Wisdom deserves to be shared!
I love to hear women are waiting longer. Our brains are not fully formed until the mid-20s, and the decisions we make before then can be disastrous and sometimes deadly if we are not careful.
It's crazy, I can still remember the day when I felt different. I was about to turn 24 and I woke up one day and suddenly understood and seen everything differently. I was dating a guy who was 24 when he started dating 17-year-old me and I was like "WTF is wrong with this man? That's not normal and that's not okay." From then on, life was so different because I could see through so much crap.
@@cruzinbosco You know, I wish I could say it's by choice 😅 But the truth is it's extremely hard to find a man of character nowadays. But I totally agree with you that there is certainly benefit to waiting to enter into a romantic relationship. I personally think girls are dating far too young these days.
Wow, that's pretty wild. That's the difference perspective makes. Yeah you have to be careful and trust your gut, there are so many groomers and perverts out there.
@@Stardust.Creations that's so good too. You got high standards (which actually means expect bare minimum but it's too much apparently hahah) and that's good bc you're not settling for less than you deserve nor accepting anything just to avoid being lonely. Take care!! You're cool!!
When I heard the lyric 'Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" I broke down. My younger self is crying. My older self is giving my younger self a hug and Taylor's music is a balm that placed into words.
The best part is that she keeps saying "should've" in Dear John but in Would've Could've Should've she says both would've and could've but never should've.
For me the lines "I'm scared of ghosts", "memories feel like weapons" and "stained glass windows in my mind" scream traumatized. The age gap is a part of the situation, but I think she also struggled a lot with the back and forth, the love and then the denying of that love. If you pay attention to the rest of her songs, the ones she wrote when they were together, you can see how deeply she believed in that relationship and in him, and then he left her and acted as if nothing happened (at least that's what I get from the songs). I think that must have been a big shock for her.
You can see this in songs that aren't about him, from the archer to anti-hero and a million other songs, she's always talking about how hard it is for her to trust people and to trust that the relationships (not only romantic ones) will work.
Omg don’t even, in Superman she talks of the guy going away ‘to work’ and something inside it doesn’t sit right. Cause superman is about John, I can only see it as John manipulating her he gets her hopes up, then goes away and leaves her but uses work as some excuse
Someone said that when they dated he lived in a refurbished church with stained glass windows, so that’s how I interpreted it. But I have no idea about that man lol so that could be totally incorrect
Regarding the shock, one aspect of problematic age gaps I don’t see discussed often is how different one’s perception of time is the younger you are. To someone in their thirties, a couple months is short-something you might consider just a few dates and not even a relationship at all-but time moves differently when you’re nineteen. Do you remember being a kid, waking up on Christmas morning before your parents and how excruciating it was waiting for when you were allowed to wake them? Thirty minutes might as well have been three days, and three hours was years that I was ready to burst while my parents, bafflingly, snored away like reindeer hadn’t just been on the roof. I used to count “one Mississippi, two Mississippi,” waiting for the school bell, because those last minutes of class felt so slow that I had to convince myself time hadn’t really slowed down just to torment me! Anyone old enough to have forgotten that feeling shouldn’t date someone still living it. Obviously Taylor didn’t believe in Santa Clause anymore, but time still went far more slowly for her than him, and she had the innocence to believe in the magic of a fairy tale romance. Two fleeting months to him became ghosts that were still haunting her thirteen years later.
Taylor really has a lot of songs that make me sad and even cry
But WCS? That is the song that broke me, it makes me absolutely sob. It gave me the ability to cry on command
It's the kind of song that I can't always listen to because it can be quite overwhelming
The way she brings up trauma and describes it so perfectly.... It hits hard and the bridge-
Her screaming "give me back my girlhood it was mine first" and it sounds like a child stomping her feet throwing a 'tantrum' because "it's mine first!"
And she nails it. The emotions. The vocals. The vocals to match that emotion she wants to deliver.
Oof just oof. This is her saddest song imo (and then she released You're Losing Me 😂)
the taylor song that instantly makes me sob is never grow up
@@emarie5875 oh wow yes nothing could have prepared me for Taylor's Version of Never Grow Up, hearing it again after all these years but from a grown up Taylor after you've also grown up? Oof
@@emarie5875this and ronan, i can’t physically listen to both of them without crying
"memories feel like weapons" for me means that something that should be nostalgic and warm when you think about it makes you hurt instead. We all have this moment when you're just going about you day and suddenly something triggers a memory of some bad thing from your past and you almost feel attacked by this memory because you would rather forget it, but you can't.
Regarding the "Now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts" line: The way I see it is that even though Taylor's older and wiser now, John still haunts her as an omnipresent ghost (emphasided with the "I fight with you in my sleep" line), his presence alone is something she's scared of, but the "memories" that come with him "feel like weapons", making the situation even worse.
Yes. Absolutely yes. Please be real like this more often. I come from a very abusive past and have PTSD, depression, and anxiety because of it. Talking about these issues, talking about painful and uncomfortable subjects, being open and honest, all of it, helps us to heal, to learn from each other, WITH each other. Taylor uses her music to heal. I have always loved how transparent she is, how unafraid she is to be herself
ive always interpreted the line "memories feel like weapons" as a ptsd thing. one of the main symptoms is flashing back to the traumatic event and having it replay in your mind in a way that makes you feel like you have no control and are experiencing the same feelings over and over again. it makes you feel that your own memories aren't safe because they are the things hurting you and bringing you back to the most painful moments.
Your little speech to her younger self was so fantastic and I was so excited you would get to hear would’ve could’ve should’ve right after and know she got it with time ❤️
What people don’t really know about Midnights is that the songs are written based on thoughts she’s had at Midnight over the years. Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve was based on thoughts she had when she and John broke up. She regretted him because of all the hurt she’d gone through with him. Now that she’s grown and moved on, she can look back and see all the problems and she can see how bad it was. She’s showing the emotion that Speak Now Taylor had while speaking from a current Taylor perspective.
Notice how in Would've Could've Should've Taylor goes over all the Would've and the Could've.... But she doesn't mention "should've"
Because that one she already expressed in Dear John "I should've known"
Should’ve said no
So apparently this song came about after the 2021 Grammys (where Taylor won album of the year for Folklore) because John Mayer was performing there. People noted at the time that he looked kinda out of it, speculating that he was drunk or high. I can only imagine Taylor sitting there in the audience, almost the same age he was when they were together, having this trigger and onslaught of bad memories. I hope that she’s healed, but I can see how that could lead to this sort of intense surge of anger/regret bc you were ok but suddenly remember and go “y’know, that was actually so fucked up, I hate that it still bothers me”. Bc she probably never got the chance to express true anger at the situation back then bc she was stuck in the ‘America’s Sweetheart’ image. Hope she got it out of her system now tho and can truly put it to rest.
On a lighter note tho, I wonder if that was the night Aaron Dessner found out about that whole thing or if Taylor just got home and was like “fire up a funky guitar riff, I got some shit to say!” with no additional context 😂
3:48 SAID IT PERFECTLYYY
I feel like she writes about how this past relationship has impacted her in the present day in The Great War “and maybe it’s the past that’s talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did”. She references tearing banners down in this song too, it feels like echos of past trauma.
You getting a bit more personal really hit home with me. I didn't grow up in an outright abusive home, but I always felt like something was missing. Over time I came to realise I learned to hide my emotions, my enthusiasm. Couldn't express myself as a fan of something if I couldn't explain why it was 'good'' or important to me. And you just made me realise that I haven't let it go yet. So thank you for sharing your thoughts. Now I will be aware of the fact that I could focus on letting it go and moving on, instead of hanging on to how unfair that felt.
The line "girlhood" "19" and "regret all the time" hit hard
Taylor processes through her lyrics and that leads to healing.
memories feel like weapons because weapons hurt people and the memories are hurt.
The guitar is purposely meant to sound like his song. She made Never Gettin Back Together super pop because that guy hated pop music. 😂
Never getting back together abolt jake gyllenhaal not john
@@larissarodrigues1860 they never said it wasnt
I should have put in names. I meant a different guy. I thought Harry Styles was that song because of the British accent at the awards show. I’m newer to her music. I’m mostly Broadway but discovering her has been amazingly fun. Her emotions are so raw and real and that’s exactly why I love Broadway.
@@ExothermicaprilJust letting you know, Taylor wasn't with Harry at that point so the album Red has no sounds about him. It's the next album, 1989, that has Style, Out of the woods, I know places, and Wonderland (possibly more I'm not sure), that is about Harry
@@ifeelsohighschoolx Red does actually have songs about him! Theres hidden messages in the original foreword that imply i think treacherous is about Harry
The live version of this song is 🔥🔥🔥
When it comes to Swifties, we will always appreciate and enjoy going deeper and fleshing things out fully. It’s the core of why we love Taylor so much 🩵
OMG the motherhood energy of this VDO is off the roof 😂. I love your reaction sm.
This is the beauty of Taylor, her beautiful songwriting and storytelling, the way she delivers it, and her willingness to share her life which has been so beneficial to so many of us. I'm pretty sure their relationship only lasted a few months but the beginnings are the most heavenly part and then he did to her what he did to the other women he's been with, he just shuts off after he has gotten you to fall for him and you think it's your fault but he's done it many many times. I agree that he also has a past history with his demons and his fear of commitment. So in that way, he's a victim of his early life also. Loved your video and your letting us get to know you better and I'm so happy you are getting to know Taylor in depth.
She wrote would've could've should've after having to watch him perform during the 2020 Grammys I think. Such a powerful song. I hope it gave her closure for herself.
wcs is one of my favorite taylor songs because of how relatable it is for me. my dad was very emotionally/verbally/physically abusive to me throughout my entire childhood and so many of these lyrics hit me in my soul. the first time i heard it, the bridge especially made me burst into tears. “i can’t let this go” “the tomb won’t close” “i fight with you in my sleep” “the wound won’t close” “if clarity’s in death then why won’t this die” “give me back my girlhood it was mine first” it’s like she’s saying she wants so desperately for this not to be a thing that still affects her, but she doesn’t know how to make that happen. like he hurt her so deeply it’s now become part of who she is. “god rest my soul” - help me let this go.
Thank you for showing your vulnerability ❤❤ I love when reactors talk about how they relate to a song and their perspectives. And with some artists, like Taylor Swift, that can lead to some deep conversations and I'm all for that!
She says it in her song about getting him where it hurts, but I believe that's just fantasy. Because she has made it clear to her fans to leave him alone.
Your deep thoughts were so spot on. As a 43 year old woman who has healed from the past, I relate to what you said about letting go so much. ❤
I don't normally comment on videos, but I absolutely loved this video. Your vulnerability speaks volumes. Being a long term swiftie, it has always pissed me off how the media never acknowledged that Taylor was a victim in this relationship. The way you straight up pointed that out with no hesitation, made my heart swell and my respect for you grow. This is probably my favorite video from your channel of all time. Thank you for taking a chance to show us this side of you
these 2 songs are easily the best songs on the album and some of y favourite of all time
It was a beautiful and reflective reaction, thank you for this and for sharing your feeling with us ❤
I never thought about not missing my inocent version. You saying that now we are wiser and aware really made sense to me. It helped
I agree. I hadn’t really thought about it that way. Because sometimes I also miss who I was before I went through crap in my late teens early 20s and then who I was before being a nurse for 9 years (bc you don’t work through the pandemic without coming out jaded a little unfortunately and that’s never who I was). So it’s refreshing to hear that statement from you.
The editing on this is top tier
WCS is just so incredibly written and it makes me cry every time. I think what's even crazier about it is she wrote it at 32, the age John was when they dated. I can imagine her writing it realizing quite how fucked up it all was knowing that she would never even think about being with a 19 year old at this point in her life. I think that she also has a lot of trauma from this relationship, especially because she grew up really Christian and I think she sort of lost her way/part of her faith from the relationship; I also think she was always worried about returning to a relationship similar to this just looking for comfort, especially when you look at one of her next relationships with Jake Gyllenhaal who was also much older. As a woman who is 18 and just getting into her first relationship, hearing Taylor's experiences has really helped me in making the right choices in my life, I really appreciate her being so vulnerable in her lyrics throughout her whole career.
I came for the reaction and stayed for the therapy session, loved that lol
I think when she says she misses who she used to be, she means the person she was before he came into her life
The "give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" really shows how young she was
It's as if a little kid wants to get back their toy that was taken by another child at the playground. It really shows her inner child wanting that innocence and childhood back
In an interview she said that you can move on without forgiving. Forgiving is overrated. And I love her for that, because I truly believe in this.
Not only is she using the stain glass analogy to talk about how she feels looking back, but also, at the time she was with John Mayer he was living in a remodeled church that still had the stain glass windows.
It’s imagery that probably reminds her of John + her feeling of having upset god in some way for being with him. It’s a lot of guilt mixed in with sadness. This song hits so hard.
And it’s even harder knowing that right after John she repeated the pattern dating Jake gyllenghal that was also older and also made her feel bad about their age difference. Probably John created a pattern in her mind that took years to break out of hence the “I miss who I used to be” and the “give me back my girlhood”.
So, Taylor had 2 bad relationships back to back and “give me back my girlhood it was mine first” I think refers to that idea naive romantic love- if you look at Red as an album, that is when the Cynicism comes in and the more realistic songs above love come in. It’s more grey and less black and white/optimistic. And “memories feel like weapons” - to me this means that both the good and the bad things in their relationship can be used to hurt each other.
yeah totally agree! til red album she always mentions love as a magical, 'enchanting' thing, but then on red she says 'love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right' :(
@@bues4 i just realized that with your comment:( that's so sad!! her reputation era definitely revived her faith in love but still held that anxiousness and insecurity e.g Delicate, Lover album.
I really liked this deeper dive and the personal stories you shared. I would absolutely love to hear more stories if there are things that you're willing to share with us. So yeah, i vote for more videos like this. It was wonderful ( and sad) to hear how you could relate to the lyrics on top of us learning a bit about HOW she is singing the lyrics.
I'm a random internet stranger but I really really enjoyed this video. Hope to see more videos like this, in the future, on this channel.
i was never in an abusive relationship or anything like that, but when i was 13 i was harassed by my friend's older counsin who was like 20 something and had just had a baby. even now, five years later, i remember feeling terrified cause we were all sleeping in the same room during the trip, so when this song came out and i realized i could relate to the lyrics way more than i expected to, i broke down crying. the line "give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" always gives me the chills cause i remember how i had never been so scared before, at least not for a reason like this, and until then i hadn't realized that it was an actual possible thing to be scared of
It seems that "Superman" is also about him
Yes and also the story of us and ours
Fun fact: John Mayer used to live in a converted church building - his condo had stained glass church windows.
This song hits hard. I was in a very difficult relationship at 19 to almost 23(he stalked me for years and threatened to kill me when I left) and it is def relatable. I absolutely understand the loss of innocence and regret, because it changed you forever. You move on, but getting back to who you were is not always possible. Our experiences shape us. To me the ghosts and memories like weapons are good descriptions of the Flash backs that are both scary and physically hurt.
I really enjoy your reactions. Before 6 months ago, I only listened to a few songs by Taylor Swift, but my playlist grows almost daily. She is very talented, and has lyrics that always strike emotional chords. And listening and watching her on RUclips is how I found your channel. And for that I am grateful!!
I love that you’re becoming a swiftie! Us older ladies love her too!
discovering danny’s channel a few months ago and binge watching it and then discovered you and THEN realizing you guys are married 5 videos in is so full circle omg
I happened to be at the Minneapolis show, night 2, and got to witness Dear John live! This was such a crazy thing for us Swifties, the crowd lost our minds!
I love watching your reactions 😍😍 You’re so insightful & honest 🙏🙏 Thank you 👏👏❤️❤️
Dear John live from the Speak Now World Tour is INSANE
26:40 this song talks a lot about trauma and describes it really well
Both "I'm scared of ghosts" and "memories feel like weapons" are very telling of experiencing a traumatic experience, especially at such a young age
But I think it also ties in to another element that is prominent in the song
Me, I'm Jewish so I don't know a lot about it, but from a lot of reactors and my knowledge of Taylor and how she grew up religious- she might also be making references to Christianity purity culture
She talks about god and religion multiple times throughout the song, she seems scared that she lost her way, I don't know enough about growing up in Christianity during that time in order to inform someone else about it specifically but it does seem like she might be referring to that and that is why she's scared of the past haunting her
Multiple reactors mentioned it and talked about it and the subject at length via this song and shared their experiences... i highly recommend watching other people analysing this song bc sadly, me included, a lot of us can relate to it
I believe she's catholic, and as a protestant I can testify that purity is almost a commandment in christianity. We, both men and women, are encouraged to wait to our spouses to "earn a blessing". And when we don't, we have a whole lot of guilt that comes with the fact that we "lost our blessings". And as a christian who didn't "wait for the spouse" I had to deal with that guilt for a long time, and when he broke up our relationship, all eveyone could talk was how I had lost a blessing by fornicating and now I was paying for going against God, and the amount of anxiety that it came with that. I thank God I have a supportive family that held me and told me "you're going to be okay" and that helps me pay for my therapy, because the anxiety that this situation brought is no joke. There's a lot of pressure for purity.
@@pollyanasilva8106 thank you so much for sharing, I'm sorry that you went through that and I'm sending you an internet hug, I hope you're doing better now💜
@@oriyanbarnes I'm getting there. Thank you for caring.
I really appreciate you getting more personal and your perspective on past events. Hearing your more nuanced perspective on looking back at trauma and moving past it was very good!
I really appreciate how vulnerable and honest you were in this video. I do like seeing this side of you and really loved hearing more about you and your life. I feel like Taylor has a beautiful ability in getting people to talk about their life and experiences and creates such great opportunities to talk about the real things in life. Thank you for opening up so much here, and yes, I’d love to hear more of that in the future. ❤
Maybe this 2nd song was the catalyst that helped her heal! My hope is now she doesn’t feel that way anymore and can now see that she is who she is from what she learned from that messed up relationship!! ❤
It was super lovely to hear more about you! I love the vocal reactions but going deeper was really cool, so thanks for sharing!
OK so 1. I really appreciate your vulnerability and the genuineness of it. I really feel that Taylor‘s music brings that out in us because she writes things that so many of us have experienced before in someway shape or form and that it’s like having group, friggin therapy together, whenever you dive into her music and so while I appreciate your vocal analysis lots I don’t think that it’s unwelcome to also have a vulnerable side to your content if the mood strikes you.
2. The “now that I’m grown I’m scared of ghosts” she’s written in other songs about how she has carried the baggage and the fears and the hurts from her past relationships into new ones and kind of self sabotaged. She’s also a serial overthinker.
3. “Memories feel like weapons” is one of the most viscerally painful lyrics I think she’s written because there are memories that we (or people like me) to try bury because, when we remember them in detail, it’s like being stabbed by a blunt a blunt instrument
4. Side note: you can hear a stadium full of group therapy when you listen to the surprise song version of “would’ve could’ve should’ve”. The whole stadium is screaming these lyrics back at her at her sounds like a release of trauma. 😅❤
5. Amazing reaction. Thank you so much.
dear john having a bunch of “john mayer” type riffs is one of my absolute favorite things
love how it got personal and deep
And yes, seeing this side of you was heartwarming, and loved and agreed with everything you said! Taylor does that to us, she makes us feel things. :)
The girlhood line hits so close to home.
Also would love a reaction like this to bigger than the whole sky, this is me trying, the great war and you're on your own kid
I loved the deep convo in the video! Everything you said was so amazing and relaxing. I was in a similar situation and watching you talk about it was really nice! I would like you to continue with sharing small pieces of your life it was entertaining and it felt true. The powe of Taylor Swift lol
I loved this video, your reaction, and the deeper dives into things
i am loving to watch your dive into the taylorverse LMAO it's so cool
I absolutely loved what you had to say about letting go of that anger and the need to to get revenge. Getting revenge does feel good in the beginning, the point is the heal and to move forward so you can live a full and enriching life. Don’t give those who hurt you the chance to hurt you again. Thank you for speak volumes🩵
I think your response is fantastic. this is the effect Taylor has. we are all more open after hearing her lyrics. so wonderful that conversations then arise in which we all grow a little more in life.
Would've, Could've, Should've almost sounds like the stages of a breakdown about something. You go from being incredibly angry, which is that dark sound of the song, to completely breaking down about it which is the sound of the heartbreak in the bridge. I love all these reactions you're doing!!
this was profound... i'd love to hear you talk more about these deep topics... when does the podcast stars? 😂
She took the note further when she was younger, it was still fresh in her memory
One thing to point out is that in would’ve could’ve should’ve you hear the would’ve’s and could’ve’s but the should’ve’s are in dear John
Great reactions! As much as I appreciate the vocal coach take on performances, it is nice to incorporate personal reflections on the songwriting content, especially with a writer like Swift.
“Memories feel like weapons” was a great way to refer to unresolved emotional trauma, which can weaponize memories and regrets. Worth noting that in Taylor’s Anti Hero MV, which she directed, there’s a ghost in her house on a sleepless night wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy gloves that looks pretty Mayer-like. Taylor wrote WCS with musical collaboration from Aaron Dessner after they saw JM performing at the Grammys when they performed the Folklore/Evermore medley. Understandable if that combined with her re-recording Speak Now led to processing some unresolved trauma.
Mayer lived in a converted church with stained glass windows when he and Swift dated, hence the stained glass windows lyrics. And props for Swift for turning the “promising young man” trope around with “promising grown man”.
Swift has a gift for conveying complicated emotions through her songs - from the anxiety, anger and religious guilt associated with WCS to the anxiety over relationships and people leaving that we hear on songs like The Archer and Labyrinth.
This was amazing I would love to see more like this in the future!💕 Some that I would love to see would be Tolerate It and This is Me Trying if you haven’t reacted to those yet!
Yes omg please react to these!
i don't comment often but all of your takes/advice that came with this reaction hit home and it's so healing to someone like me who loves these songs having had a similar situation thank you
I wanna thank you so much for this video, cause it was a therapy to me! I related to this song since the first time I listened to it, cause I got through the exact same thing and I still feel the same way as she does, this memories of who you used to be and that you used to be proud of who you were and someone destroyed it, destroyed every piece of you and you just could never be the same anymore… You’ll never be who you once were again, and you loved who you were… it haunts you every day, it hurts everyday, and it never goes away… And it’s so deep and so warming what you said about learning how to love this new version of you… Cause that’s what I’ve been trying to do all of these years, but I just can’t let go who I was, I loved who I was and someone took this away from me, and it will never come back… This is what I just can’t accept… But I’m still trying everyday…
Your words were therapy to me, I even recorded what you said so I can watch it again and again and maybe someday I can feel healed… but you words were GOLD, and I’m so happy I found you channel today… Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! Thank you so much! 💖💖💖💖
What I love about these 2 together is that Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve was written when we was 32. The perspective from the other side about how a grown ass adult SHOULD treat a 19 year old is so real.
I also feel like “the pain was heaven” also represents that the pain helped her grow and learn and that is heaven.
PLEASE PLEASE REACT TO THE LIVE SPEAK NOW TOUR VERSION OF THIS! ITS STUNNING, HER VOICE IS SO THEATRICAL
So the way I see it, Would've Could've Should've is about how much the relationship affected her personality as a whole. 19 is the age where you're becoming an adult and saying goodbye to your childhood. I think for her, having a bad relationship at that age, meant having that transition ripped from her. So she never got the chance to make a decision over things that may be seen as indicative of innocence. I think it's a song about how he robbed her of that moment of finding herself as an adult, and the fact that it was very much public didn't help either. So when she mentions the "crisis of faith" she's both literally talking about how she used to be very religious and that relationship drove her away from that aspect of her life but also how her innocence was taken from her by someone else. I think the "give me back my girlhood" line isn't necessarily about her virginity like some say, but about her innocence. She's mourning now, because she couldn't mourn then. Also, "would've, could've, should've" can be a reference to the grief stages (would = negotiation, could = denial, should = anger)
I've been binging your videos all night & I love your reactions, vocal analysis, AND tidbits of your life. hearing these (unfortunately) universal experiences expressed in a song is so cathartic (thank you taylor for doing god's work). & on top of that, seeing other women relate & use these songs to heal from their own experiences is so therapeutic. also, hearing from you that it DOES get better as you get older, to not spend time holding grief & anger & sadness from past mistakes, is so healing as well. sorry I love your channel LOL 💗
I loved learning about you and your opinions and wisdom Audrey!! Yes to digging deeper because RUclips can be a bit much sometimes so yes i enjoyed this 💜💜💜
One of the best videos I've seen from you ever! I like other reactions more, musice wise, but the feeling that I was actually having a conversation with you about sooooo many serious subjects and what's behind not only the vocals but the lyrics of these two songs made this feel more "casual", not to say "intimate" and sound weird. Loved it!
OMG and the second before you said "hug her" I made the "hug her" move with my arms!!!! You so totally understand it!!!!
My favourite thing is that Dear John ( letter) is a term with the definition a wife or girlfriend that is informing him that their relationship is over. So technically she isn’t saying it’s about John but she is using the term dear John. And I just think that is so freaking smart!