It is so hard to accept or adapt. It’s also hard when people see me and say I look so good, but mine isn’t visible and I really don’t feel as good as I look.
It took me going through withdrawals after 10 years to get out of denial. Letting myself cry and feel sorry for myself and having a partner who is very understanding during the angry part help me go through what I realize was that. Listening to this might help me get to the last part. it helped me make the video I just put on my RUclips channel which is a copy of my very first TikTok video. I meant buying stuff to help me get to the future stage lol. I don’t think I’ll make any more videos but I think I’m going to do a diary because I’m also at the isolation stage.
I definitely had to go through all these stages and I got stuck at anger for a long time. I was angry with God for allowing this to happen to me. I had so much going on positive for me at the time I developed MRSA in my spine that caused the 5 back surgeries that have left me disabled. I had to go through it to be able to go forward. I definitely experienced depression and anxiety before the anger. I'm just trying to get back to my relationship with God now in the last month or so. I knew He was always there and I still prayed over my food but that was it. Now I'm reading my Bible again, listening to my favorite Gospel music and praying for other instead of myself. It's made my day to day so much better. I'm praying for us all. ❤❤❤
Anger at people in my life who think things might not be as bad as you are describing…as if I think it’s so much fun to feel like a truck ran over me daily. As my husband once said to me..”the pain can’t be that bad…” and me screaming at the top of my lungs..”god I wish I was lying”. I had to force him to goto the Dr with me and sit in the room and actually listen to the specialist.
i’m stuck in stage 5. i just had to quit dancing which i’ve done my whole life and i had to leave my team and my family (i was a competitive dancer for over 8 years). my treatment isn’t working and i have appointment after appointment to see if i have other chronic illnesses on top of the one i’ve already been diagnosed with. my doctor and parents suggested i see a social worker/therapist to help me cope with everything i lost. literally every single part of my life changed in the past year. anyways thanks for readying my rant lol
Penelope I understand i'm in the same place. Have had to stop working and can barely play piano or cello now and have lost every aspect of life too. I truly empathise and i'm stuck
i’m really sorry you’re going through this too. a lot of people don’t understand and idk what condition you have, but for me, everyone doesn’t think it’s “that bad” when in reality it’s horrible
I was first diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis after trauma from a seperation. Years later my rheumatologist diagnosed me with fibromaglia & I have to say that the pain is so chronic & far worse than rheumatoid. They call it the invisible syndrome cause you don’t look sick but once you spend days months or longer in bed you can honestly see it. Every part of your body hurts & there is no cure just meds to try & relieve some pain but they don’t even work at times. I’m no longer the person I was doing everything running a business, bringing up the kids involved in everything now I’m lucky if I can get out of bed to go to the toilet. You lose yourself, depression sets in & you no longer want to go anywhere or see people. Many people & even some dr’s don’t even know abt fibromyalgia & more has to be done to help those in pain & to discover a cure. It’s a horrible pain & some times I don’t want to be here if it wasn’t for my kids or granddaughter. We need help desperately. 🙏❤️
As a therapist and a chronic pain sufferer, I totally relate to this information. It so aligns with my emotions and cognition on a daily basis. Grieving my"self". Thank you!
I skipped over denial and desperation went straight to Anger, anxiety and depression just the fact of waking up everyday in so much pain, I say to myself really again. But at the same time I know my invisible illness isn’t going anywhere slumps me right into my depressed state. I haven’t worked in 3 years because I have CFS and fibromyalgia I’m just so tired all the time and my pain in it’s severity is all over the place. Trying to make having issues with my fibromyalgia and CFS part of my life, it sucks but my doctor wants me to cut out gluten and diary so trying to remove these from my diet might be extremely hard but they will hopefully help me long ter
I came here to tell you thank you. And I found myself replying this to a comment. This is hard, and that was very validating. You inspired me enough that I made a TikTok video lol It took me going through withdrawals after 10 years to get out of denial. Letting myself cry and feel sorry for myself and having a partner who is very understanding during the angry part help me go through what I realize was that. Listening to this might help me get to the last part. it helped me make the video I just put on my RUclips channel which is a copy of my very first TikTok video. I am buying stuff to help me get to the future stage lol. And no I don’t have any plans of being at TikTok lol
I was diagnosed about 4 years ago with having suffered massive blockages in my heart that effectively killed about 40% of my heart tissue. The doctors at the time really didn't give me much hope I would survive. But I was able to adapt to necessary changes pretty well and found some good help from a few doctors that allowed me to manage the physical changes and limitations. What I've struggled with the most is the emotional stress, especially considering the extent of the damage and the likelihood of dying from this. So I know I'm oscillating now between depression, anger and acceptance. Sometimes daily, just depending on the day. Good video though, I did like the way she laid out the seven stages. I would agree that I've been at each stage at one point or another during the last 4 years.
hello. what a helpful video. as someone who is new to chronic illness, and who does self evaluations very often, i am finding that i experience some or all of these stages at different times. the statement regarding finding new joys is such a huge truth. thank you for what you are doing!
@@meidson12 i'm glad it resonates with you. i find it helpful because it allows you to release control without requiring yourself to "be ok" with it; you're just acknowledging that it *is* and that it it out of your control. so you save your energy for better things other than resistance
i think it's even harder because i dont have energy, so the little i have is wasted on loops of grief, making it almost impossible to take steps to restructure my life. idk maybe time will change a thing or two and i'll heal
Maybe if we could be medicated properly.. from crack downs on pain meds with no exceptions to generic manufacturers putting sugar pills on the shelves, it’s very hard to find consistency in treatment to the point of being able to deal and lead a somewhat normal life.
Marking the 30th year Living in states of chronic pain + the myriad of associated conditions, 2022 thus far definitely has had its trials. Today I am Thankful to have WiFi, to have found You, considering all. I write on topics Coming Home, Back to Self & from the depths Deep Self Loathing, CoDependency, Narcissistic Abuses as well as Chronic Illness. I call it ‘Loving Myself Well’. Because, we all know The WhiteCoats, as we any, do have their limits w/regard to Science-based Aid. The LMW Wellness Series is my way of Coping With Chronic Health Conditions & the wreckage along the way. SO manyMANYmany Losses incur, both very early on and as you’ve mentioned in your wonderfulWONDERFULwonderfully Supportive & Informative video, at any point in time aaaall along our path. Within these passed 3 decades I’ve Learned a few things, been Gifted in my view, more to the point. I consider the creepy, dictator chronic pain, autoimmune disorder Sjogren’s & the lot My Greatest Teacher. It was about ten+ years ago by now, when I’d finallyFINALLYfinally met w/Surrender. My whole world opened up! It was a Spiritual Awakening I’d Received. Gratitude coursing through my veins, over that decade wowwy did e v e r y t h i n g become so clear to me. The work I do Today, w/Loving Myself Well, its my way of Managing Chronic Illness. By Offerings on FB/IG, even though it’s small in the field of interweb, it’s huge to me! If I can Help one MoreMOREMore Beautiful Being in anyANYany possible way, along their walk… Well then, isn’t thatTHISthese Why We’re Here. Stop over if you’ve the time/inclination, we’d love to see You! Message me anytime. I keep odd hours [like we most, eh] & Help spread the word if you would! We all need a soft place to well Rest. Finding True North, Discovering Our Beautiful Life’s Purpose, How Daily Gratitude Cleanses Us, Managing Our Very Human Emotions, is just a handful of topics I write on. It’ll be some time before I’m able, but am working on creating a Gratitude Journal, filled original Art designs, Colouring pages & some HelpAids that really continues Helping me to this moment. I’m offering one free download [in time, once completed] for anyone interested in Daily Gratitudes. PlusPLUSPlus there’ll be plenty MoreMOREMore both paying and free to come! ThankYouTHANKYOUThank You for Being Here. I really needed to hear that Today. Like i said, 30 years deep and still, T o d a y I’m struggling. So I just cannot Thank You enough. I’ll be having a listen to your other offerings on YT & too, will check out the lady to whom you’ve referred, as well as your website mentioned too. I’ve Lived throughout this entire experience, much of it a solitary thing. Just starting to Reach Out, of late. Because… We’re social creatures, after all. Much Love, ~ Shannan 🕊💨
It’s been almost 25 years. I have an intrathecal pain pump with morphine, and other meds for breakthrough pain. I’ve spent most of that time in bed, exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am traumatized from lack of understanding from family, friends, church, and most doctors. Even urologists blow me off (have bladder disease) so I’m thankful for my long-time pain management doc. I have never made it to acceptance. It’s too present and miserable.
What really hurts,is family who do not get it and act like you are just too much
I had no energy for other stages, had only 2 stages: grief, acceptance, grief, acceptance, and this loop goes on.
Thanks for sharing - you're right, sometimes our own unique grief looks different and that's ok. It can also evolve and change over time.
It is so hard to accept or adapt. It’s also hard when people see me and say I look so good, but mine isn’t visible and I really don’t feel as good as I look.
I find myself in the same loop
It took me going through withdrawals after 10 years to get out of denial. Letting myself cry and feel sorry for myself and having a partner who is very understanding during the angry part help me go through what I realize was that. Listening to this might help me get to the last part. it helped me make the video I just put on my RUclips channel which is a copy of my very first TikTok video. I meant buying stuff to help me get to the future stage lol. I don’t think I’ll make any more videos but I think I’m going to do a diary because I’m also at the isolation stage.
Here here
I definitely had to go through all these stages and I got stuck at anger for a long time. I was angry with God for allowing this to happen to me. I had so much going on positive for me at the time I developed MRSA in my spine that caused the 5 back surgeries that have left me disabled. I had to go through it to be able to go forward. I definitely experienced depression and anxiety before the anger. I'm just trying to get back to my relationship with God now in the last month or so. I knew He was always there and I still prayed over my food but that was it. Now I'm reading my Bible again, listening to my favorite Gospel music and praying for other instead of myself. It's made my day to day so much better. I'm praying for us all. ❤❤❤
I hear you. I go in and out of anger and then gratitude in my relationship with God. It can be a tough journey. 🙏🏼
After 21 years, I don’t think I’m going to get better, but I still try to be the best that I can.
I am PROUD of you.
@@earthfa333 Thank you so much!
Anger at people in my life who think things might not be as bad as you are describing…as if I think it’s so much fun to feel like a truck ran over me daily. As my husband once said to me..”the pain can’t be that bad…” and me screaming at the top of my lungs..”god I wish I was lying”. I had to force him to goto the Dr with me and sit in the room and actually listen to the specialist.
i’m stuck in stage 5. i just had to quit dancing which i’ve done my whole life and i had to leave my team and my family (i was a competitive dancer for over 8 years). my treatment isn’t working and i have appointment after appointment to see if i have other chronic illnesses on top of the one i’ve already been diagnosed with. my doctor and parents suggested i see a social worker/therapist to help me cope with everything i lost. literally every single part of my life changed in the past year. anyways thanks for readying my rant lol
Penelope I understand i'm in the same place. Have had to stop working and can barely play piano or cello now and have lost every aspect of life too. I truly empathise and i'm stuck
i’m really sorry you’re going through this too. a lot of people don’t understand and idk what condition you have, but for me, everyone doesn’t think it’s “that bad” when in reality it’s horrible
I feel so guilty that I can't work. So many of my favorite things, can no longer do. I've always had depression and anxiety but now so much worse.
It’s the same for me, anxiety and depression really is hard to cope with.
My whole life changed, over night, cannot do the things I used to do and enjoy.
I’m sorry sweetie I’m right there with you 8 years since I’ve had a life 😢
Feel im ruining my husbands life and savings.
I was first diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis after trauma from a seperation. Years later my rheumatologist diagnosed me with fibromaglia & I have to say that the pain is so chronic & far worse than rheumatoid. They call it the invisible syndrome cause you don’t look sick but once you spend days months or longer in bed you can honestly see it. Every part of your body hurts & there is no cure just meds to try & relieve some pain but they don’t even work at times. I’m no longer the person I was doing everything running a business, bringing up the kids involved in everything now I’m lucky if I can get out of bed to go to the toilet. You lose yourself, depression sets in & you no longer want to go anywhere or see people. Many people & even some dr’s don’t even know abt fibromyalgia & more has to be done to help those in pain & to discover a cure. It’s a horrible pain & some times I don’t want to be here if it wasn’t for my kids or granddaughter. We need help desperately. 🙏❤️
As a therapist and a chronic pain sufferer, I totally relate to this information. It so aligns with my emotions and cognition on a daily basis. Grieving my"self". Thank you!
I skipped over denial and desperation went straight to Anger, anxiety and depression just the fact of waking up everyday in so much pain, I say to myself really again. But at the same time I know my invisible illness isn’t going anywhere slumps me right into my depressed state. I haven’t worked in 3 years because I have CFS and fibromyalgia I’m just so tired all the time and my pain in it’s severity is all over the place. Trying to make having issues with my fibromyalgia and CFS part of my life, it sucks but my doctor wants me to cut out gluten and diary so trying to remove these from my diet might be extremely hard but they will hopefully help me long ter
I came here to tell you thank you. And I found myself replying this to a comment. This is hard, and that was very validating.
You inspired me enough that I made a TikTok video lol
It took me going through withdrawals after 10 years to get out of denial. Letting myself cry and feel sorry for myself and having a partner who is very understanding during the angry part help me go through what I realize was that. Listening to this might help me get to the last part. it helped me make the video I just put on my RUclips channel which is a copy of my very first TikTok video. I am buying stuff to help me get to the future stage lol. And no I don’t have any plans of being at TikTok lol
I was diagnosed about 4 years ago with having suffered massive blockages in my heart that effectively killed about 40% of my heart tissue. The doctors at the time really didn't give me much hope I would survive. But I was able to adapt to necessary changes pretty well and found some good help from a few doctors that allowed me to manage the physical changes and limitations. What I've struggled with the most is the emotional stress, especially considering the extent of the damage and the likelihood of dying from this. So I know I'm oscillating now between depression, anger and acceptance. Sometimes daily, just depending on the day. Good video though, I did like the way she laid out the seven stages. I would agree that I've been at each stage at one point or another during the last 4 years.
I'm stuck in the go to work until my body has a crisis, have to go on leave to try and heal, go back to work, repeat.
💙🙏🌺
🫂
I totally understand you...
Can you collect permanent disability?
It seems it would serve you and your illness well, to focus on self care.
May God bless you! 🙏❤️🙏
I came here to say this!
hello. what a helpful video. as someone who is new to chronic illness, and who does self evaluations very often, i am finding that i experience some or all of these stages at different times. the statement regarding finding new joys is such a huge truth. thank you for what you are doing!
I don’t grieve over my pain anymore. I’ve been in acceptance for years and it’s OK.
this was incredibly validating. thank you. ❤
Hard to move forward when you
Lose your independence. I prefer adaptation, the pain can really set you back. I meditate and try anything.
Very well said in this video. You are very knowledgeable Dr, Thanks
Thanks, very helpful
Does Congestive Heart Failure qualify?? But no pain……..just fatigue.
Yes, absolutely
also, re: your discourse on acceptance: "nonresistance" is the word I use instead that helps me! its different for everyone.
that's a good term to define it
@@meidson12 i'm glad it resonates with you. i find it helpful because it allows you to release control without requiring yourself to "be ok" with it; you're just acknowledging that it *is* and that it it out of your control. so you save your energy for better things other than resistance
I have all stages at once for 8 years now
You are def not alone... God bless 💙🙏🌺
Thank you so much for making this video
I've reversed loss of self and anger
Moving into anger whats helping me out of depression
Thank you for the video,
with chronic pain, fatigue, PTSD, anxiety, trauma, does it effect losing someone(dying)close to you effect normal grieving process and all the above 😢
i think it's even harder because i dont have energy, so the little i have is wasted on loops of grief, making it almost impossible to take steps to restructure my life.
idk maybe time will change a thing or two and i'll heal
Thank you!
How do we connect with you or grief counseling?
Maybe if we could be medicated properly.. from crack downs on pain meds with no exceptions to generic manufacturers putting sugar pills on the shelves, it’s very hard to find consistency in treatment to the point of being able to deal and lead a somewhat normal life.
❤❤❤❤❤❤😊😊😊😢😮😅
Marking the 30th year Living in states of chronic pain + the myriad of associated conditions, 2022 thus far definitely has had its trials. Today I am Thankful to have WiFi, to have found You, considering all. I write on topics Coming Home, Back to Self & from the depths Deep Self Loathing, CoDependency, Narcissistic Abuses as well as Chronic Illness. I call it ‘Loving Myself Well’. Because, we all know The WhiteCoats, as we any, do have their limits w/regard to Science-based Aid. The LMW Wellness Series is my way of Coping With Chronic Health Conditions & the wreckage along the way.
SO manyMANYmany Losses incur, both very early on and as you’ve mentioned in your wonderfulWONDERFULwonderfully Supportive & Informative video, at any point in time aaaall along our path. Within these passed 3 decades I’ve Learned a few things, been Gifted in my view, more to the point. I consider the creepy, dictator chronic pain, autoimmune disorder Sjogren’s & the lot My Greatest Teacher.
It was about ten+ years ago by now, when I’d finallyFINALLYfinally met w/Surrender. My whole world opened up! It was a Spiritual Awakening I’d Received. Gratitude coursing through my veins, over that decade wowwy did e v e r y t h i n g become so clear to me. The work I do Today, w/Loving Myself Well, its my way of Managing Chronic Illness. By Offerings on FB/IG, even though it’s small in the field of interweb, it’s huge to me! If I can Help one MoreMOREMore Beautiful Being in anyANYany possible way, along their walk… Well then, isn’t thatTHISthese Why We’re Here.
Stop over if you’ve the time/inclination, we’d love to see You! Message me anytime. I keep odd hours [like we most, eh] & Help spread the word if you would! We all need a soft place to well Rest. Finding True North, Discovering Our Beautiful Life’s Purpose, How Daily Gratitude Cleanses Us, Managing Our Very Human Emotions, is just a handful of topics I write on.
It’ll be some time before I’m able, but am working on creating a Gratitude Journal, filled original Art designs, Colouring pages & some HelpAids that really continues Helping me to this moment. I’m offering one free download [in time, once completed] for anyone interested in Daily Gratitudes. PlusPLUSPlus there’ll be plenty MoreMOREMore both paying and free to come!
ThankYouTHANKYOUThank You for Being Here.
I really needed to hear that Today. Like i said, 30 years deep and still, T o d a y I’m struggling. So I just cannot Thank You enough. I’ll be having a listen to your other offerings on YT & too, will check out the lady to whom you’ve referred, as well as your website mentioned too. I’ve Lived throughout this entire experience, much of it a solitary thing. Just starting to Reach Out, of late. Because… We’re social creatures, after all.
Much Love,
~ Shannan
🕊💨
You are not alone....💙🙏✨
It’s been almost 25 years. I have an intrathecal pain pump with morphine, and other meds for breakthrough pain. I’ve spent most of that time in bed, exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am traumatized from lack of understanding from family, friends, church, and most doctors. Even urologists blow me off (have bladder disease) so I’m thankful for my long-time pain management doc. I have never made it to acceptance. It’s too present and miserable.