"Women offer too much to society while expecting too little in return." I've been living by these words my entire adult life. I don't have full blown ASPD but I have NPD with ASPD tendencies. Honestly, if more women acted like us we wouldn't be seen as the "weaker sex". Abusive men tend to avoid me. I've noticed I attract men who are eager to please and I attribute that to my strong personality. Seriously, ladies, stop being so nice all the time.
Were you actually diagnosed NPD? Most NPD refuse and dismiss the label/doctor after literal diagnosis. "Self diagnosing" NPD is literally impossible. Signed - a diagnosed narcissist/NPD
@@Ramen7810 if you know the Taylor swift lyric from her song mastermind, it is "you know, every wise woman had to do it this way, coz we were born to be a pawn in every lover's game" And I felt it so hard coz us women are always judged on our appearances and almost always played by every guy for intercourse or even nudes or just being a shoulder to cry on until they know you & then just leave your hanging down all the time!
I was a Dental Hygienist. New patients would come in with filthy mouths. Oreo cookie crumbs, bagel seeds, cigarette stains and even pubic hair. I had no problem telling them that I was not their garbage man and would not be cleaning such filth in future appointments. They better maintain their cleaning and brush and floss before they sit in my chair. One would think they would not reschedule with me because of my blatant harshness. But they all returned to my chair with spotless teeth. If they didn't they received an unpleasant lecture. The funny part was the stricter I was with my patients the better they took care of their teeth. They craved my approval and demanded to be scheduled only with me. They would wait up to three months for an appointment. People are interesting.
Ask for more 🙏 🤲 you'll get it. It's like that thing in the Bible when they said ask and ye shall receive. Like, it's very true. I'm not that religious but I think it's supposed to teach you to think about your needs and be brave enough to ask the world for them.
“So be like me and offer nothing to anyone but yourself” 😂 the mind of the humans without kids in their life ik it seems way easier to be self centered and cold hearted but there is infact a greater reason to not all loose or sense of empathy and morality. Women are naturally more nurturing naturally more tentative to emotion, we have a generation of women refusing to play that role because they are fed up but I worry about what that will create
@@katiebugg7018 you are so right and I worry about that too. Both are creating the other it's up to the woman to lead indirectly but this is not the way to do it. 🙏 You have to communicate your needs like a grown up just alot of people were never taught that. I pray for the world everyday. 🌎 ❤
@@katiebugg7018 not everyone wants kids and there's nothing wrong with that, nor does it mean they're self serving for not having them. Every woman should look out for themselves first. You can't be there for others if you don't have yourself in order.
and that's the part that gets me. those of us who are nice enough to not do these things, DO NOT get rewarded for being nice. we get repeatedly stepped on and screwed over by everything around us. no reason to take this advice far enough to mess your life up with it, but it is good advice. most of us women really do need to warm up to the idea of demanding the things we actually need from life while being unwilling to take all the bullshit
One time I didn't get the haircut I wanted and I was brave enough to go back and ask her to redo it and even though she did it I left crying and felt terrible. Emotions be stupid but they can also be quite powerful
But...emotions aren't stupid...it's like saying colors were... It helps you to see what's going on. Like when you feel upset generally it means your boundaries have been crossed, or sadness is to make place for something new, etc, and if we wouldn't feel these insights we would be like dead alive. Allow them (judged as stupid they'll stay stuck in the middle and bring more resistance and problems), then manage them, so that you're not led by them... If i can say
@@rika1440 I hear you, but it would be nice not to cry constantly. Over anything. All the damn time. It’s like being 3 but you’re almost 40. I’d like to not be so emotional ALL the time, please.
@@PheydraSunstar try to meditate/ pray/clear your mind journaling alone honestly, and maybe try to ask yourself (like selfhypnosis, ask your subcounscious)!
As a hairdresser I TOTALLY EMBRACE HONESTY!!! If you don’t like what I did PLEASE tell me. I haven’t had complaints about my work in years of course 😅 but there is the occasional client who always seems like they noticed something I didn’t. The minute I get that vibe I ask if there something we could improve, wether it’s color or the cut. I will never be offended this is YOUR investment and I just want my clients to be happy! ❤❤❤❤
See this is different. You don't need to say thank you if you're upset by what you got. You don't need to sh## on them either. There's factors in between. But humans are human and make mistakes. Don't need to glorify Kanika's approach. She naturally does not have empathy and strays from logic in this sense. I find her intriguing nonetheless, but as an empath we are on opposite sides of the spectrum. I see what she's saying but you don't have to as it can purposely cause casualties where there doesn't need to be (or as much of). This can also be done without losing yourself too. Just healthy boundaries and what not. Individual values etc......
I started to be brutally honest with people and my life is kicking off! Also I expect my male dates to pay for my time and they literally DO it and respect me more! Life is NOT about being too generous. Be stingy & take what you need. Life advice from a 30 year old woman.
100% this. When I first started dating I paid for myself on past dates to show I was "independent". Many times that would get me taken advantage of and one guy I ended up dating afterwards NEVER paid for me on dates, even when I was unable to work due to an injury/surgery. He would but himself expensive toys worth hundreds of dollars like drones and guitars and I would never get any gifts. He went out to eat with me in tow and still expected me to pay my own way everytime even though we had been together for over a year at that point. He expected my parents to pay for him/us too when we went out to dinner all together, he didnt offer to pitch in. despite having more money in the bank then anyone I've dated (nice having college paid for and to live rent free with mommy and daddy) he actually didn't even get me anything for valentine's day either. That taught me a lesson, that I'll never pay for my own way at first when out on dates. My parents aren't the kind to let stuff slide, so they actually had to say something and suggest the guy I was seeing cover the tip. Which was a bit embarrassing, more so on his behalf that he needed prompting.
I “tripped” and spilled my water and popcorn all over the obnoxious movie-goer that wouldn’t take a hint as he was leaving. He thought the 100lb, 5’2 girl wouldn’t do anything, so he laughed at the polite glances. I added just enough slushy in it to leave a temporary splash mark. I didn’t feel bad in the slightest. He ruined my friends’ movie experience, so I ruined his. People need to learn to stop picking on others in public just because they’re bigger. Exactly, you’re bigger. What’re you going to do? Ten people will hop in to help me as soon as the waterworks start going and you can’t prove I did anything wrong.
That hairdresser one 😭 the last time I got my hair cut, I went from looking like an actual woman to looking like my 4 y/o nephew. Even he thought we looked the same 🥲
A really easy one is to make men move over when walking past eachother. Stand your ground in the middle with wide shoulders, eye contact, swift pace. I do it all the time at the gym and it works
Lol... this is funny. I've done this. I go back and forth between making people move and also moving for people. It's interesting. I think it's best to go back and forth. We are very aware people. It heightens the awareness of others... makes them think.
ive been there. im naturally a bully, i got it from my father. i cheat in relationships and tell the guy afterwards lol. i can conceptualize that its wrong but feeling the intensity of the emotion, i have no depth in that. thats how i tend to measure your love or commitment to me. if i hurt you and you tend to feel and express it to me how much hurt you feel, then im happy and secure lol.. but not a sustainable form of engagements. when i learn to empathize and face myself, i learned and realized that whatever manipulation i was doing, it was all just a play in my head. what i see, and feel as a high of being vindictive, are just energies i carry in my consciousness. the other person, other people have their own set of thinking and mentality. they live in their own bubble. thus my production of negativity was just pretty useless and it makes one old and wrinkly 😂
@@jJust_NO_ 😂😂😂 this is self awareness at its finest. The wrinkles will now blend in more beautifully with this dab of self evolution and seen more like wisdom. ❤ congratulations. Not every human can articulate individual psyche.
I was in a relationship with a white collar covert narcissist. It nearly destroyed me but there are so many valuable lessons to be learned from cluster b’s. I use selective psychopathy in certain situations and it works really well to regulate my energies towards the right things, reach my goals, and blend out bs. Of course I try not to harm anyone in the process. My people pleasing behaviour is now reserved for those who truly deserve it 😊
@@peacejoy3629 In emotional situations I just take a breath and choose to put my feelings aside, stay rational instead. Not easy but the practice pays off. Much more distance to unnecessary emotional drama…
Although now that I think about it I'm a different person at work. I work at a gas station and you can't survive this job if you care and so I just don't. I view everybody as trying to get something from me because they are. I get a lot of homeless people literally bursting into tears trying to get me to give them free s*** everyday. Every now and then I wonder if I should feel bad but I would be exhausted if I let it penetrate me
Dude yes. It is difficult to maintain a soft heart towards people who are always trying to take. I'm a mechanic and we are always up to our ears in work. The amount of sob stories I hear in order for the customer to get their car done first is unbelievable. I use to give in and so then the advisors started lying to me about every customer. The one thing that broke my heart recently was that a woman dropped her car off and a few days later, her family called us asking if we had her car. They didnt know where she took it because shortly after she dropped it with me, she died. So I use discernment and I do care, i just don't give in to everything because people will 100 percent capitalize off of it.
@@Taushathetech honestly as much as I do worry that I'm being uncaring when I should be caring, I have to give myself credit that I do know. I do give. Time, cigarettes, hugs. To the ones I can tell really need it. But they are almost never the ones that come in giving the sob story
Yeah… the truth tellers usually don’t tell their truths because they have much pride. Using individual discernment is key . Too be too nice all the time is detrimental. To be too mean all of the time is detrimental. There has to be balance. Not caring is one of the best feelings out there but it can quickly turn too numb if plays the same song everyday.
I have Asperger's syndrome and I remember I told a hairdresser what I thought of the haircut and she cried. I didn't feel bad because I was asked and I was honest.
I agree with the message, not so much with the choice of words. People (especially women) are conditioned to be afraid of their own power, being nice is a good thing, being a doormat isn't. I also don't think you're advising people to be sociopathic, to me you're advising how to not be afraid of their own sovereignty.
@@sleeepykitty23 I do feel lucky. Anytime I have left her for another I got a bad hairdo or brow wax. Never again. I drive an hour and a half to go see her.
"dull your sensitivity to guilt or remorse" that sounds so simple, but if I react like she said to react... It's not just that I would become anxious.. My body will have panic attacks.. I can't just tell a hairstylist that she did a bad job, I will not sleep at night.. Thats why I cut my own hair lol..
I recently told a store employee to stop following me in the store and if I needed help I’d request it and to pass that message on to her colleagues immediately because they where being annoying. Shit felt powerful
As a stylist yes it may suck to hear it but it give us a chance to fix or correct things. We are human and sometimes communicating can make a huge difference, yes you won’t always want to return to let them fix it but trust me we would always rather honesty!!
As a sociopath, another way to become more sociopathic is to suffer for years, being humiliated everyday, being bullied everyday, and you will become more dangerous than everyone you’ve ever known. Btw, see you from France, I love your work. 🇫🇷🇫🇷haha
I’m not antisocial but I do have ASD. And I will tell you that it’s been a blessing to have it because I don’t really care to hang around people, but when I do get attached it’s like hard for me to let them go 😩
I refuse to go to hairdressers because they mess my hair up every single time. I wish I would have stood up for myself 😢 nnowI just cut my own hair anyways. So tired of wasting so much time and money to never get what I want. I had one hairdresser tell me to not use conditioner because it actually is bad for your hair? Like I just have no idea who to even believe. But she literally told me not to use conditioner anymore because it actually creates more split ends?
I listen to you every day! Trying to learn these things "detach" all that stuff is so hard for me. Im going to keep trying everyday!!! Thanks for your help. A narc recently broke my heart i dont want one annymore no man, no heart!!!
I LOVE your channel. While I still personally try to be kind, women are too kind in the wrong situations, typically with their male partners. We are conditioned to rationalize their perspective while they disregard ours.
I cut a mid length hair cut on myself this year and it really turned out quite well. I get compliments on it. All my friends say they cant tell it wasnt done by a stylist! It is easier than I knew to cut my own hair! Will likely never have to pay for a cut
Agree with all this. After so many years that people have trashed me I realise I need to speak up for me. Thank you, what you say here is not necessarily about to be a sociopath is to send up for yourself 👏🏻👌🏻 is self worth
Thank you, I have been trying these habits out for a bit now....and I feel like I am almost back to my old self. I went through something that gave me PTSD.
i used to try this out but i realized learning how to be assertive and set boundaries is a good and much more convenient way than shutting urself off🙌🏻
Girl I got this. I have my 1st opportunity to be a sociopath. A guy Who tried to take me out in the past and then flaked and ghosted, is contacting me and I know he thinks hes gonna manipulate me, but I'm gonna turn this right back on him for fun. Granted hes 14 years younger than me, and probably thinks little of me and has no idea the extent of my intellect. I have always been an empathetic people pleaser, but now that I'm 50 I'm over that shit. This guy has money I'm gonna see what I can get from him. And I am not giving up the goods to get it either. I'll make some reports here if anything interesting happens. So far I've gotten him to quadruple text me, and I replied back with "what businesses is this pertaining to?" Then he sent me back a huge paragraph! So so far my manipulation it looks like it's working! And that's all because I've been watching all of your videos. Every last 1. Keep them coming girl you're helping for serious!
Yass. Keep us updated! I was never diagnosed as Kanika but I have always felt the same way she does. In my country mental health is stigmatised therefore I don’t see the point. Moreover, I don’t enter relationships without getting things in return. Men are used to women being doormats and eating their BS. It’s time to turn tables. Here’s the thing : you CAN get whatever you want without sleeping with that individual. I was gifted a literal condo this way. I know it sounds unbelievable to some but it’s because sadly they are used to accepting bottom of the barrel treatment. You just need to know their weaknesses and play them well. Be very perceptive, test the waters. Also don’t let this fool TALK you out of your desired outcome. Men like to sweet talk and promise. MAKE HIM DELIVER. Furthermore, if he ghosted you before he is playing silly games. If he keeps this shit up, get what you want and drop him. On to the next.
Here's the 1st update. He reminded me that he had asked me to play pool a while back. And wanted to know if I wanted to go play pool. I replied back that I own my own pool table now so I'm not interested in going to a pool hall but if he wanted to take me to dinner to explain to me why it took him 2 years to contact me I might be immenable to that. He sends me 4 text in a row. The 1st texts saying we could come to my house and play pool. Then the next 3 texts talking about how he could Take me to some mediterranean restaurant So I replied: I don't have strangers to my house. Perhaps you're looking for something else. I'm not that kind of woman if that's what you're looking for. Perhaps dinner will not be a good idea after all. Mind you that I am doing just like she says and I will reply and then I ghost for a few hours. It's in those few hours that hes shooting me these extra texts. Just like she said hes getting anxious! Waiting for the reply if I get something good I will follow up with another post. But right now I don't think it's going anywhere because hes already shown his cards and I'm not gonna mess around with some guy who's expecting sex that much that hes gonna ask to come to my house Blatantly like that.
Im not a sociopath, but I have BPD, so another cluster B personality disorder (dramatic and impulsive cluster). Im a little confused on why you would wanna become more sociopathic if you have ASPD? Like no judgement at all, but as someone w BPD, I HATE having BPD and I strive every day to grow from it and eliminate my detrimental thinking and behaviors. So I guess my question is @sociopaths and @people w ASPD, do you like having it? Or do you take action to unlearn behaviors. Again, no judgement at all, bc I know people generally have a bad view on sociopaths. But sociopaths are literally people with feelings and I just wanna know if your guys suffering is a motivator to change or not. Lots of love from an overly emotional borderline ❤
Watching this made me realize I’ve actually been doing this already after being screwed over by a significant other and a friend I considered very dear to me… and it actually feels kinda good
I love your message to us, it's so true. I have bpd and I care way to much. it got me in a horrible domestic after getting married and having a daughter. I'd rather take your advice and not care. we do get to little in return
I am the epitome of a nice person and I would love to use some of these. When I'm angry with someone I just resort to the silent treatment or ghosting. I need people to like me. I'm such a people pleaser I can never say no. Actually, your hair dresser example is perfect. My hair dresser that I had been going to for 10 years who deals mostly with straighter hair ripped through my curls with a paddle brush and I never went back. I never told her to stop even though I was in pain and could hear snapping. I can NOT express anger towards others, only myself. I have actually self harmed and even swallowed pills to make the other person feel bad. Of course they just make me a 5150 and I end up with another diagnosis on my record. I watch your stuff because I wish I could pull back from my emotions more while also being able to express when I'm angry. I live with a narcissistic mother who has instilled such passivity in me. I can't even tell someone I'm angry without crying. Anger just becomes sadness. I physically feel angry, my fists clench, my voice starts shaking, and then the tears flow. When I was young, I would actually beat up my mom. We don't necessarily have a connection, it's more enmeshment and it's disgusting. I'm 28 and stuck in this mess with someone I resent yet still cares for me with material items. It's so... confusing. I almost feel like Gypsy Rose but it's an emotional Munchausen by Proxy. Really sad.
If someone messed up my hair, I would be infuriated. It's because when I first had health problems alot of my hair fell out. I rarely let anyone touch it even though it is grown back even thicker. Anyway they would know I wasn't happy. I have a tendency to be rude and, sarcastic from time to time. I don't think I could be sociopathic.
Dude would go home feeling so much shame and beat myself up all night. It's like it's uncontrollable and sometimes i feel like its ruining my life. How do you stop feeling shame?
I'm curious what the darker thing you had in mind. Like are you going to take her clippers and give her a reverse mohalk? Or get your friends to ask for her by name and no matter what they tell her the hair cut was bad until she gets boxed out or fired? Like what's the severity here?
I can’t go that far with strangers or vulnerable people But I can be really out of line with Truth when I am angry at those who I perceive as evil People hate it 😅 And I feel strong having the sword of truth swinging and cutting heads off
And some of us are working on being kinder, gentler ppl...even when it doesn't come naturally...I love animals, but feel nothing for 99% of ppl...I'm not aspd though...idk what I am...but ily Kanika...it's like you're that voice that's been in my head all along...but I don't fk over the future me, that much, at least I can picture the future and the consequences of my actions...
On that final note, contrary-wise, we as a patriarchal society still tend to applaud men for doing the bare minimum i.e. fathers simply being fathers and taking their babies to the shops and, to go especially dark, men understanding and respecting consent. That realistically deserves as much praise as not breaking into a person’s house. Start assessing men by those standards and higher and they’ll be better people for it, as many women are doing already. As Kanika said in another TikTok/RUclips Short about the men and little boys who worship Andrew Tate (🤢), they try to drag women down to their level instead of improving themselves.
I think you mean assertive! Which you don’t have to be aggressive to do. Like you could ask the hairdresser to change stuff if you don’t like it, for example
Anytime I use number one.. I either ruin my life, get banned for life from somewhere, get fired, or get arrested and have to pay lots of lawyer fees/court fines. You should explain to people how to harness their rage properly.. bc some of us have so much we don't know what to do with it girl 😏
Okay this is officially my favourite video so far, can you do more like this? Not everything you say will work for everyone but there's real truth to what you just said and I'm sure there's other things that could be actually health for people to implement a bit more in their lives
Yesterday I did something against my morality and I felt so bad I almost cried beacuse I am not used to :(, its limda dangerous because I prefer other hurt me that hurt others
This comment just made me super sad... can you go back to being nice? 🙏 Like I'm sorry people were jerks to you. I promise not everyone is bad. Please... thank you!!
I've got the second one kind of going for me 😅 except I cut them off due to the anxiety of confronting them. I constantly have had female friends who down play my own traumas because they have gone through something similar and theirs has to be worse. I have social anxiety as is and if I share things with you it's because I trust you... it completely breaks my trust and the friendship. I literally have to not invite one of my previously best friends to our wedding because of this.
I don't even think all this advice is strictly sociopathic, I have a disability (vertical nystagmus) and I can't drive and it's very hard to identify people's facial features from a distance. I have been walking late at night and I'm always rude to people who offer me rides when I'm alone after dark. I have been rude to people I realized I knew afterwards, but I've been rude to people that definitely intended me harm. Since I can't tell the difference when they first pull up, the people that ACTUALLY care will understand. I should add at this time I was living in a neighborhood where several large gangs were active, this did NOT occur in a "good" area.
It's scary to be brutally honest with people because then I can't complain if they decide to do the same to me. But I think I need to do this. Thank you for your inspiration.
Ohhh what an interesting test. I thought about it. However I do have empathy and would feel bad. But to ignore that is a whole other level.. Ive always struggled with knowing what the appropriate thing to do is when some one disrespects me. But ive also been told im too emotional. Im getting more cold though. Ive had to be dominant at work to climb up. Ive had to cut friends and lovers off when I would get a sense that they were detaching as well. Ive resorted to payback to my abusers. Now I just feel exhausted and bored.
It's sad that a lesson in assertiveness directed toward women needs to be framed as sociopathy. This is just good sense and I wish our culture wasn't so imbalanced. It is possible to be a moral person AND have self respect.
I think I’m slightly sociopathic. I don’t feel remorse for the things that I’ve said or done to people. Except for the things that’s happened with my daughter. Other than that I don’t feel the guilt from it. However I know it was wrong in my part and I would never make the same mistakes again. I genuinely want to be the best version of myself
Empathy for what? Do you reliase ppl are evil, devilish creatures. Even God gave up on them. Are you better then God oru play as a God? You will continue get hurt my dear.
the more I watch you, the more I think I might have a lot of those traits. Not that I do bad things to people. But it took me a long time to learn how my behavior impacts others.
its hard for me with #2.because i hardly find peep that makes me wanna invest in them.. normally when im not interested in someone i naturally dont have urge to care or remember anything about them. so when it does happen i cant turn off the tap lmao
"Women offer too much to society while expecting too little in return." I've been living by these words my entire adult life. I don't have full blown ASPD but I have NPD with ASPD tendencies. Honestly, if more women acted like us we wouldn't be seen as the "weaker sex". Abusive men tend to avoid me. I've noticed I attract men who are eager to please and I attribute that to my strong personality. Seriously, ladies, stop being so nice all the time.
Were you actually diagnosed NPD?
Most NPD refuse and dismiss the label/doctor after literal diagnosis.
"Self diagnosing" NPD is literally impossible.
Signed - a diagnosed narcissist/NPD
Exactly yes
Damn I need to do that. I’m too nice and men walk all over me 😢
@@Ramen7810 yes.. Same here
@@Ramen7810 if you know the Taylor swift lyric from her song mastermind, it is
"you know, every wise woman had to do it this way, coz we were born to be a pawn in every lover's game"
And I felt it so hard coz us women are always judged on our appearances and almost always played by every guy for intercourse or even nudes or just being a shoulder to cry on until they know you & then just leave your hanging down all the time!
I was a Dental Hygienist. New patients would come in with filthy mouths. Oreo cookie crumbs, bagel seeds, cigarette stains and even pubic hair. I had no problem telling them that I was not their garbage man and would not be cleaning such filth in future appointments. They better maintain their cleaning and brush and floss before they sit in my chair.
One would think they would not reschedule with me because of my blatant harshness. But they all returned to my chair with spotless teeth. If they didn't they received an unpleasant lecture. The funny part was the stricter I was with my patients the better they took care of their teeth. They craved my approval and demanded to be scheduled only with me. They would wait up to three months for an appointment. People are interesting.
Humiliation kink is helluva drug
@@steptanm this is fascinating.
Acting like a calm but very disappointment teacher works wonders.
Bweeeerrkkk 🤢 people have no shame
But that’s literally your job! Your a dental hygienist!!! It’s in your damn job title 😂
"You offer too much to society while asking for too little in return." Wow. Just... gonna sit with that one for a minute.
Yes.
Ask for more 🙏 🤲 you'll get it. It's like that thing in the Bible when they said ask and ye shall receive. Like, it's very true. I'm not that religious but I think it's supposed to teach you to think about your needs and be brave enough to ask the world for them.
“So be like me and offer nothing to anyone but yourself” 😂 the mind of the humans without kids in their life ik it seems way easier to be self centered and cold hearted but there is infact a greater reason to not all loose or sense of empathy and morality. Women are naturally more nurturing naturally more tentative to emotion, we have a generation of women refusing to play that role because they are fed up but I worry about what that will create
@@katiebugg7018 you are so right and I worry about that too. Both are creating the other it's up to the woman to lead indirectly but this is not the way to do it. 🙏 You have to communicate your needs like a grown up just alot of people were never taught that. I pray for the world everyday. 🌎 ❤
@@katiebugg7018 not everyone wants kids and there's nothing wrong with that, nor does it mean they're self serving for not having them. Every woman should look out for themselves first. You can't be there for others if you don't have yourself in order.
Me, who got played and taken advantage again and again by being all the things she listed above:
👁👄👁
Let yourself be a little mean. I as well got walked on multiple times in my childhood- not doing it in my adulthood.
and that's the part that gets me. those of us who are nice enough to not do these things, DO NOT get rewarded for being nice. we get repeatedly stepped on and screwed over by everything around us. no reason to take this advice far enough to mess your life up with it, but it is good advice. most of us women really do need to warm up to the idea of demanding the things we actually need from life while being unwilling to take all the bullshit
@Alberto Balsalm lmaooooo
@@lilithstarnes9195 sounds like a trauma response
@@lilithstarnes9195 this.
One time I didn't get the haircut I wanted and I was brave enough to go back and ask her to redo it and even though she did it I left crying and felt terrible. Emotions be stupid but they can also be quite powerful
I wish I did that
But...emotions aren't stupid...it's like saying colors were... It helps you to see what's going on. Like when you feel upset generally it means your boundaries have been crossed, or sadness is to make place for something new, etc, and if we wouldn't feel these insights we would be like dead alive. Allow them (judged as stupid they'll stay stuck in the middle and bring more resistance and problems), then manage them, so that you're not led by them... If i can say
@@rika1440 I hear you, but it would be nice not to cry constantly. Over anything. All the damn time. It’s like being 3 but you’re almost 40. I’d like to not be so emotional ALL the time, please.
@@PheydraSunstar oh, so maybe it will make you reach the will for change or maybe acceptance before.
@@PheydraSunstar try to meditate/ pray/clear your mind journaling alone honestly, and maybe try to ask yourself (like selfhypnosis, ask your subcounscious)!
As a hairdresser I TOTALLY EMBRACE HONESTY!!! If you don’t like what I did PLEASE tell me. I haven’t had complaints about my work in years of course 😅 but there is the occasional client who always seems like they noticed something I didn’t. The minute I get that vibe I ask if there something we could improve, wether it’s color or the cut. I will never be offended this is YOUR investment and I just want my clients to be happy! ❤❤❤❤
I wish every hair dresser was like you! ❤️
what a great hairdresser you are!
See this is different. You don't need to say thank you if you're upset by what you got. You don't need to sh## on them either. There's factors in between. But humans are human and make mistakes.
Don't need to glorify Kanika's approach. She naturally does not have empathy and strays from logic in this sense.
I find her intriguing nonetheless, but as an empath we are on opposite sides of the spectrum.
I see what she's saying but you don't have to as it can purposely cause casualties where there doesn't need to be (or as much of). This can also be done without losing yourself too. Just healthy boundaries and what not. Individual values etc......
I love detach emotionally. It brings peace.
Exactly, it's how i got over my ex cheating on me so quickly. she may come off as a bitch, but her advice is solid.
@@domisthebomb09 I like her insight as well. She’s a wise woman.
Not something one can control.
I started to be brutally honest with people and my life is kicking off! Also I expect my male dates to pay for my time and they literally DO it and respect me more! Life is NOT about being too generous. Be stingy & take what you need.
Life advice from a 30 year old woman.
100% this. When I first started dating I paid for myself on past dates to show I was "independent". Many times that would get me taken advantage of and one guy I ended up dating afterwards NEVER paid for me on dates, even when I was unable to work due to an injury/surgery. He would but himself expensive toys worth hundreds of dollars like drones and guitars and I would never get any gifts. He went out to eat with me in tow and still expected me to pay my own way everytime even though we had been together for over a year at that point. He expected my parents to pay for him/us too when we went out to dinner all together, he didnt offer to pitch in. despite having more money in the bank then anyone I've dated (nice having college paid for and to live rent free with mommy and daddy) he actually didn't even get me anything for valentine's day either. That taught me a lesson, that I'll never pay for my own way at first when out on dates. My parents aren't the kind to let stuff slide, so they actually had to say something and suggest the guy I was seeing cover the tip. Which was a bit embarrassing, more so on his behalf that he needed prompting.
I can approve
I “tripped” and spilled my water and popcorn all over the obnoxious movie-goer that wouldn’t take a hint as he was leaving. He thought the 100lb, 5’2 girl wouldn’t do anything, so he laughed at the polite glances. I added just enough slushy in it to leave a temporary splash mark. I didn’t feel bad in the slightest. He ruined my friends’ movie experience, so I ruined his. People need to learn to stop picking on others in public just because they’re bigger. Exactly, you’re bigger. What’re you going to do? Ten people will hop in to help me as soon as the waterworks start going and you can’t prove I did anything wrong.
That hairdresser one 😭 the last time I got my hair cut, I went from looking like an actual woman to looking like my 4 y/o nephew. Even he thought we looked the same 🥲
Recently went through this and I freaking went with a picture too 😢
haha! hope it has grown out. I still have pre covid hair lol
@@shanon8747 omg nooo 😭
@@AC-kc2qt it has, luckily! I now look like an adult again, at least 😅
This isn't sociopathic really, this is just assertive, as long as it doesn't cross the line
I will just take this as "stand up for yourself and don't worry about being rude, especially as a woman."
A really easy one is to make men move over when walking past eachother. Stand your ground in the middle with wide shoulders, eye contact, swift pace. I do it all the time at the gym and it works
I actually do this a lot. Men, women, teens. My exs exs lol
I have thought about it alot and I try to stand my literal ground more. I am very petite and people tend to ignore me.
Lol... this is funny. I've done this. I go back and forth between making people move and also moving for people. It's interesting. I think it's best to go back and forth. We are very aware people. It heightens the awareness of others... makes them think.
@@miss.jenny.b I adore that balance.
Love shoulder checking
When I did more and more immoral things and got used to them, it felt so dark. Even when I didn't care anymore, it felt so dark and negative.
Yeah. I agree with many of her stances but this one is bad advice. It‘s corrupting society at large. We have a sense of morality for a reason.
What are some other examples of things?
ive been there. im naturally a bully, i got it from my father. i cheat in relationships and tell the guy afterwards lol. i can conceptualize that its wrong but feeling the intensity of the emotion, i have no depth in that.
thats how i tend to measure your love or commitment to me. if i hurt you and you tend to feel and express it to me how much hurt you feel, then im happy and secure lol..
but not a sustainable form of engagements.
when i learn to empathize and face myself, i learned and realized that whatever manipulation i was doing, it was all just a play in my head. what i see, and feel as a high of being vindictive, are just energies i carry in my consciousness.
the other person, other people have their own set of thinking and mentality. they live in their own bubble.
thus my production of negativity was just pretty useless and it makes one old and wrinkly 😂
I wouldn’t do that, the energy you give out there you will receive !!
@@jJust_NO_ 😂😂😂 this is self awareness at its finest.
The wrinkles will now blend in more beautifully with this dab of self evolution and seen more like wisdom. ❤ congratulations. Not every human can articulate individual psyche.
I was in a relationship with a white collar covert narcissist. It nearly destroyed me but there are so many valuable lessons to be learned from cluster b’s. I use selective psychopathy in certain situations and it works really well to regulate my energies towards the right things, reach my goals, and blend out bs. Of course I try not to harm anyone in the process. My people pleasing behaviour is now reserved for those who truly deserve it 😊
selective Psychopathy! how?
@@peacejoy3629 In emotional situations I just take a breath and choose to put my feelings aside, stay rational instead. Not easy but the practice pays off. Much more distance to unnecessary emotional drama…
@@evaharris5239 love it.. 🌸
Although now that I think about it I'm a different person at work. I work at a gas station and you can't survive this job if you care and so I just don't. I view everybody as trying to get something from me because they are. I get a lot of homeless people literally bursting into tears trying to get me to give them free s*** everyday. Every now and then I wonder if I should feel bad but I would be exhausted if I let it penetrate me
Dude yes. It is difficult to maintain a soft heart towards people who are always trying to take. I'm a mechanic and we are always up to our ears in work. The amount of sob stories I hear in order for the customer to get their car done first is unbelievable. I use to give in and so then the advisors started lying to me about every customer. The one thing that broke my heart recently was that a woman dropped her car off and a few days later, her family called us asking if we had her car. They didnt know where she took it because shortly after she dropped it with me, she died. So I use discernment and I do care, i just don't give in to everything because people will 100 percent capitalize off of it.
@@Taushathetech honestly as much as I do worry that I'm being uncaring when I should be caring, I have to give myself credit that I do know. I do give. Time, cigarettes, hugs. To the ones I can tell really need it. But they are almost never the ones that come in giving the sob story
Yeah… the truth tellers usually don’t tell their truths because they have much pride.
Using individual discernment is key .
Too be too nice all the time is detrimental.
To be too mean all of the time is detrimental.
There has to be balance.
Not caring is one of the best feelings out there but it can quickly turn too numb if plays the same song everyday.
detach emotionally
don't get too attached in the earlier stages of any relationship. don't get too attached too fast
I have Asperger's syndrome and I remember I told a hairdresser what I thought of the haircut and she cried. I didn't feel bad because I was asked and I was honest.
Unprofessional of the hair dresser to cry in front of the clients, not your fault
Lmaooooo
@@niteshade2271 lmaooooo
I agree with the message, not so much with the choice of words. People (especially women) are conditioned to be afraid of their own power, being nice is a good thing, being a doormat isn't. I also don't think you're advising people to be sociopathic, to me you're advising how to not be afraid of their own sovereignty.
What if my hairdresser never screws up? She has been my hairdresser since 2012. Just felt like flexing my hairdresser lol.
tell off ur dentist
@@Highwizardd😂
Lucky you! lol
@@Highwizardd that might be a bad idea...she gets right up in my teeth. 😬 Dentist be like...whoops forgot the novacane.
@@sleeepykitty23 I do feel lucky. Anytime I have left her for another I got a bad hairdo or brow wax. Never again. I drive an hour and a half to go see her.
"dull your sensitivity to guilt or remorse" that sounds so simple, but if I react like she said to react... It's not just that I would become anxious.. My body will have panic attacks.. I can't just tell a hairstylist that she did a bad job, I will not sleep at night.. Thats why I cut my own hair lol..
Ikr even in this example I feel bad LMAO
U r so incisive, perceptive, articulate and absolutely stunning!
I recently told a store employee to stop following me in the store and if I needed help I’d request it and to pass that message on to her colleagues immediately because they where being annoying.
Shit felt powerful
As a stylist yes it may suck to hear it but it give us a chance to fix or correct things. We are human and sometimes communicating can make a huge difference, yes you won’t always want to return to let them fix it but trust me we would always rather honesty!!
It’s always a good day when Kanika posts
Thank you Kanika… us people pleasers need this unfiltered advice !!
As a sociopath, another way to become more sociopathic is to suffer for years, being humiliated everyday, being bullied everyday, and you will become more dangerous than everyone you’ve ever known. Btw, see you from France, I love your work. 🇫🇷🇫🇷haha
I’m not antisocial but I do have ASD. And I will tell you that it’s been a blessing to have it because I don’t really care to hang around people, but when I do get attached it’s like hard for me to let them go 😩
The scary part is, your hairdresser holds the scissors..
I never imagined in a million years that it would be a sociopath who would teach me things that would finally protect my sore and wounded soul 💚
I refuse to go to hairdressers because they mess my hair up every single time. I wish I would have stood up for myself 😢 nnowI just cut my own hair anyways. So tired of wasting so much time and money to never get what I want. I had one hairdresser tell me to not use conditioner because it actually is bad for your hair? Like I just have no idea who to even believe. But she literally told me not to use conditioner anymore because it actually creates more split ends?
This is surprisingly constructive. Thank you. I appreciate your perspective 🙏
Me (The hairdresser); “way to go my love, at least it matches ur delightful personality, give mommy a kiss”🧸
I’ve learned that when I’m scared to sound shitty it might actually come out hilarious and people aren’t taking it too personally and it’s a blast
I listen to you every day! Trying to learn these things "detach" all that stuff is so hard for me. Im going to keep trying everyday!!! Thanks for your help. A narc recently broke my heart i dont want one annymore no man, no heart!!!
I LOVE your channel. While I still personally try to be kind, women are too kind in the wrong situations, typically with their male partners. We are conditioned to rationalize their perspective while they disregard ours.
I cut a mid length hair cut on myself this year and it really turned out quite well. I get compliments on it. All my friends say they cant tell it wasnt done by a stylist! It is easier than I knew to cut my own hair! Will likely never have to pay for a cut
I can see all teens saying: I'm a sociopath! overusing it like a new buzzword the same that they did with psychopath, unti-social and OCD.
Agree with all this. After so many years that people have trashed me I realise I need to speak up for me. Thank you, what you say here is not necessarily about to be a sociopath is to send up for yourself 👏🏻👌🏻 is self worth
Every video I watch of you warms my heart and makes me smile.
Thank you, I have been trying these habits out for a bit now....and I feel like I am almost back to my old self. I went through something that gave me PTSD.
Thank you !! You really helping me out
i used to try this out but i realized learning how to be assertive and set boundaries is a good and much more convenient way than shutting urself off🙌🏻
There's definitely a middle ground between thanking the hairdresser for something you don't like and going in on them lol
Girl I got this. I have my 1st opportunity to be a sociopath. A guy Who tried to take me out in the past and then flaked and ghosted, is contacting me and I know he thinks hes gonna manipulate me, but I'm gonna turn this right back on him for fun. Granted hes 14 years younger than me, and probably thinks little of me and has no idea the extent of my intellect. I have always been an empathetic people pleaser, but now that I'm 50 I'm over that shit. This guy has money I'm gonna see what I can get from him. And I am not giving up the goods to get it either. I'll make some reports here if anything interesting happens. So far I've gotten him to quadruple text me, and I replied back with "what businesses is this pertaining to?" Then he sent me back a huge paragraph! So so far my manipulation it looks like it's working! And that's all because I've been watching all of your videos. Every last 1. Keep them coming girl you're helping for serious!
I’m invested. Please keep updating me
@@Trulynay87 will do!
*grabs snacks and takes seat* Girl, I am here for the tea!
Yass. Keep us updated! I was never diagnosed as Kanika but I have always felt the same way she does. In my country mental health is stigmatised therefore I don’t see the point.
Moreover, I don’t enter relationships without getting things in return. Men are used to women being doormats and eating their BS. It’s time to turn tables.
Here’s the thing : you CAN get whatever you want without sleeping with that individual. I was gifted a literal condo this way. I know it sounds unbelievable to some but it’s because sadly they are used to accepting bottom of the barrel treatment. You just need to know their weaknesses and play them well. Be very perceptive, test the waters. Also don’t let this fool TALK you out of your desired outcome. Men like to sweet talk and promise. MAKE HIM DELIVER. Furthermore, if he ghosted you before he is playing silly games. If he keeps this shit up, get what you want and drop him. On to the next.
Here's the 1st update.
He reminded me that he had asked me to play pool a while back. And wanted to know if I wanted to go play pool.
I replied back that I own my own pool table now so I'm not interested in going to a pool hall but if he wanted to take me to dinner to explain to me why it took him 2 years to contact me I might be immenable to that.
He sends me 4 text in a row. The 1st texts saying we could come to my house and play pool. Then the next 3 texts talking about how he could Take me to some mediterranean restaurant
So I replied:
I don't have strangers to my house. Perhaps you're looking for something else. I'm not that kind of woman if that's what you're looking for. Perhaps dinner will not be a good idea after all.
Mind you that I am doing just like she says and I will reply and then I ghost for a few hours. It's in those few hours that hes shooting me these extra texts. Just like she said hes getting anxious!
Waiting for the reply if I get something good I will follow up with another post. But right now I don't think it's going anywhere because hes already shown his cards and I'm not gonna mess around with some guy who's expecting sex that much that hes gonna ask to come to my house Blatantly like that.
Im not a sociopath, but I have BPD, so another cluster B personality disorder (dramatic and impulsive cluster). Im a little confused on why you would wanna become more sociopathic if you have ASPD? Like no judgement at all, but as someone w BPD, I HATE having BPD and I strive every day to grow from it and eliminate my detrimental thinking and behaviors.
So I guess my question is @sociopaths and @people w ASPD, do you like having it? Or do you take action to unlearn behaviors.
Again, no judgement at all, bc I know people generally have a bad view on sociopaths. But sociopaths are literally people with feelings and I just wanna know if your guys suffering is a motivator to change or not.
Lots of love from an overly emotional borderline ❤
They don't even ask themselves those questions. They don't care. Narcissist and sociopath don't care about anything.
Watching this made me realize I’ve actually been doing this already after being screwed over by a significant other and a friend I considered very dear to me… and it actually feels kinda good
I love your message to us, it's so true. I have bpd and I care way to much. it got me in a horrible domestic after getting married and having a daughter. I'd rather take your advice and not care. we do get to little in return
I am the epitome of a nice person and I would love to use some of these. When I'm angry with someone I just resort to the silent treatment or ghosting. I need people to like me. I'm such a people pleaser I can never say no. Actually, your hair dresser example is perfect. My hair dresser that I had been going to for 10 years who deals mostly with straighter hair ripped through my curls with a paddle brush and I never went back. I never told her to stop even though I was in pain and could hear snapping.
I can NOT express anger towards others, only myself. I have actually self harmed and even swallowed pills to make the other person feel bad. Of course they just make me a 5150 and I end up with another diagnosis on my record.
I watch your stuff because I wish I could pull back from my emotions more while also being able to express when I'm angry. I live with a narcissistic mother who has instilled such passivity in me. I can't even tell someone I'm angry without crying. Anger just becomes sadness. I physically feel angry, my fists clench, my voice starts shaking, and then the tears flow.
When I was young, I would actually beat up my mom. We don't necessarily have a connection, it's more enmeshment and it's disgusting. I'm 28 and stuck in this mess with someone I resent yet still cares for me with material items. It's so... confusing. I almost feel like Gypsy Rose but it's an emotional Munchausen by Proxy. Really sad.
I need you as a literal life coach, I'm so tired of my emotions running my life
That's not acting against yr morality, that's just boundaries.
If someone messed up my hair, I would be infuriated. It's because when I first had health problems alot of my hair fell out. I rarely let anyone touch it even though it is grown back even thicker. Anyway they would know I wasn't happy. I have a tendency to be rude and, sarcastic from time to time. I don't think I could be sociopathic.
Precious advice
IE three ways to become more healthy! 😂
She's not wrong. This is what I do to protect myself.
I needed this 🙌
She’s absolutely right
This is such good advice.
Please more advice like this. 🌸
Dude would go home feeling so much shame and beat myself up all night. It's like it's uncontrollable and sometimes i feel like its ruining my life. How do you stop feeling shame?
I'm curious what the darker thing you had in mind. Like are you going to take her clippers and give her a reverse mohalk? Or get your friends to ask for her by name and no matter what they tell her the hair cut was bad until she gets boxed out or fired? Like what's the severity here?
Women: You offer more to society while expecting too little in return..thank you
I can’t go that far with strangers or vulnerable people
But I can be really out of line with Truth when I am angry at those who I perceive as evil
People hate it
😅
And I feel strong having the sword of truth swinging and cutting heads off
HOW CAN I STOP MY EMOTIONS?!? And caring about people, enough is enough
And some of us are working on being kinder, gentler ppl...even when it doesn't come naturally...I love animals, but feel nothing for 99% of ppl...I'm not aspd though...idk what I am...but ily Kanika...it's like you're that voice that's been in my head all along...but I don't fk over the future me, that much, at least I can picture the future and the consequences of my actions...
I fucking need ALL OF THIS THANK YOU
On that final note, contrary-wise, we as a patriarchal society still tend to applaud men for doing the bare minimum i.e. fathers simply being fathers and taking their babies to the shops and, to go especially dark, men understanding and respecting consent. That realistically deserves as much praise as not breaking into a person’s house. Start assessing men by those standards and higher and they’ll be better people for it, as many women are doing already. As Kanika said in another TikTok/RUclips Short about the men and little boys who worship Andrew Tate (🤢), they try to drag women down to their level instead of improving themselves.
I think you mean assertive!
Which you don’t have to be aggressive to do. Like you could ask the hairdresser to change stuff if you don’t like it, for example
Anytime I use number one.. I either ruin my life, get banned for life from somewhere, get fired, or get arrested and have to pay lots of lawyer fees/court fines. You should explain to people how to harness their rage properly.. bc some of us have so much we don't know what to do with it girl 😏
Okay this is officially my favourite video so far, can you do more like this?
Not everything you say will work for everyone but there's real truth to what you just said and I'm sure there's other things that could be actually health for people to implement a bit more in their lives
I began to cut my own hair because of one inadequate hairdresser who cut my hair so short.
This is great advice 🙏🏻
These advices are hitting like bricks...yet it's true.
I agree 100% with the last statement and most of this, women do give far too much and expect little in return.
Yesterday I did something against my morality and I felt so bad I almost cried beacuse I am not used to :(, its limda dangerous because I prefer other hurt me that hurt others
Omg please dont do this
This comment just made me super sad... can you go back to being nice? 🙏 Like I'm sorry people were jerks to you. I promise not everyone is bad. Please... thank you!!
I’m following this all 2023
I've got the second one kind of going for me 😅 except I cut them off due to the anxiety of confronting them. I constantly have had female friends who down play my own traumas because they have gone through something similar and theirs has to be worse. I have social anxiety as is and if I share things with you it's because I trust you... it completely breaks my trust and the friendship. I literally have to not invite one of my previously best friends to our wedding because of this.
I don't even think all this advice is strictly sociopathic, I have a disability (vertical nystagmus) and I can't drive and it's very hard to identify people's facial features from a distance. I have been walking late at night and I'm always rude to people who offer me rides when I'm alone after dark. I have been rude to people I realized I knew afterwards, but I've been rude to people that definitely intended me harm. Since I can't tell the difference when they first pull up, the people that ACTUALLY care will understand. I should add at this time I was living in a neighborhood where several large gangs were active, this did NOT occur in a "good" area.
It's scary to be brutally honest with people because then I can't complain if they decide to do the same to me.
But I think I need to do this.
Thank you for your inspiration.
You know what? I agree with her. After all, if you don't protect yourself, who would?
Ohhh what an interesting test. I thought about it. However I do have empathy and would feel bad. But to ignore that is a whole other level.. Ive always struggled with knowing what the appropriate thing to do is when some one disrespects me.
But ive also been told im too emotional. Im getting more cold though.
Ive had to be dominant at work to climb up. Ive had to cut friends and lovers off when I would get a sense that they were detaching as well. Ive resorted to payback to my abusers.
Now I just feel exhausted and bored.
Love ❤️ it . Do a part 2 !😁
I've done these things and turned my life around, but what's some warning signs of going to far?
About to submit your videos to the national counseling association for easy guidance for victims to elevate their mentalities
It's sad that a lesson in assertiveness directed toward women needs to be framed as sociopathy. This is just good sense and I wish our culture wasn't so imbalanced. It is possible to be a moral person AND have self respect.
Well observed
I think I’m slightly sociopathic. I don’t feel remorse for the things that I’ve said or done to people. Except for the things that’s happened with my daughter. Other than that I don’t feel the guilt from it. However I know it was wrong in my part and I would never make the same mistakes again. I genuinely want to be the best version of myself
I feel like this lady is describing me exactly 😌
Please do more of this topic hidden sociopath and currently destroying everything
Destroying not on purpose
This is very helpful, I also joined Cinderella's Revenge
Thank you from an empath who has been hurt many times
Empathy for what? Do you reliase ppl are evil, devilish creatures. Even God gave up on them.
Are you better then God oru play as a God? You will continue get hurt my dear.
the more I watch you, the more I think I might have a lot of those traits. Not that I do bad things to people. But it took me a long time to learn how my behavior impacts others.
😂🤗 thank you I’ll just keep these tucked away for now 😅
its hard for me with #2.because i hardly find peep that makes me wanna invest in them.. normally when im not interested in someone i naturally dont have urge to care or remember anything about them. so when it does happen i cant turn off the tap lmao
Practical advice that can be very helpful especially in times of Draconian world crisis, and ways to keep secure from psychic attacks.
that last one sounded personal🤖
Don't be so nice? Depends on the day/person
Detach emotionally? Check
Turn off guilt/remorse? Lemme work on that
Heyyyyy can u make a video on this topic more ,like a long video with more tips ???? Ps i love your videos
I like how you are such an allie, a little strange, but an allie.
These are literally necessary life skills! More content like this, please, Professor!
My late grandmother yelled at her hairdresser and said "I don't want you to do my hair, the last time you poisoned me"