This really helps me to realize that my autistic boyfriend's behavior is nothing to get angry about. It is also something I want to consider before I get in deeper. I thought he was the love of my life, and then he started doing hurtful things. Maybe we are not really a good match, though. This gives me so much to think about, and it has taken me out of the "hopelessly in love" stage that was actually crippling me.
Thank u thank u thank u!! It's 100% accurate to my boyfriend pattern n behavior in the way he cope n react.. u've answered all my confusion, misunderstanding each other,suffered n struggle in terms of dealing n try to understand him for the pass 12yrs... i felt a huge brainstorm like tsunami washed over me,sad n huge relief at the same time..As i just learned to know what asperges are,that's really a huge shocked to me,finally,it's all make sense now.. i constantly making the wrong approach that caused him felt stressed out,i did spend enormous time on research,changing strategy in terms of understanding male mindset inorder to creat better communication in our relationship.. wasn't aware of what im dealing with.. emotional brain blind... He's genius in his field,absolutely a nice,kind hearted person n faithful partner when not come to deep talk or outrage. That's the key poin that keep me continue. I kindda wished i come across ur videos at very first poin so that we can skip all the struggle along the way and work it out in better and fulfilling relationship and probably already tide the knot. I'll continue to follow n try to understand more. THANK YOU
It's a thin line between enabling the hfa partner in ways that may not be beneficial for either. Walking on egg shells to avoid triggering seems to be necessary to reduce meltdowns! However how would healthy accountability fit into a relationship with a hfa partner ?
I really struggle with this because not only am I high functioning autistic, I also am an INTJ who tends to intuit or predict future possibilities and potential problems naturally. When I am mentally and emotionally stable, this ability is invaluable in my jobs as a troubleshooter, beta tester and editor. It makes me one of the best in those fields. When I am not in a good mental or emotional state however, that strength becomes a problem because it makes my anxiety worse. I think naturally in terms of correct versus incorrect. When there is order and everything is working correctly, I am at peace. If anything is out of order or malfunctioning, I need to fix or replace it. I can examine a system - physical or conceptual - and predict if it will work long term. If there is a possibility that something could fail, I need to prepare for it and either prevent it from happening or mitigate the damage as soon as it happens. I can't tell you how many times I've said "I told you so" or wanted to when things go wrong. Sometimes, though, I feel anxious but can't articulate exactly why. As a kid, I tried to explain it by saying that my Spidey Sense was tingling. I just knew something was wrong or about to go wrong. Then the 'if - then' logic way my mind works would make this sense worse.
My ex fiance was ASD, and he has such a dramatic meltdown that he cancelled our wedding 1 week before 😢. I didn't know how to help control him getting to the meltdown point. I wish I listened to your videos so we could have had better communications and understanding of each other. I am so tempted to contact him but I know he has such bad memory and emotional trigger with me now that I doubt he even wants to talk to me again.
You should reach out if you loved him, never let a chance for love be lost by your doubt of him not wanting to hear from you. My girlfriend broke up with me , I believe , I am like your fiance except I don't get really angry I get frustrated anyway we are broken up because she doesn't understand me, I'm trying to get her to watch these videos in hopes it will bring us back together. I wish you luck in love!!
Isn't it obvious living with extreme anxiety will have many negative effects on anyone?Less obvious is that living in a world created by nt's causes the anxiety for people on the spectrum.
@@MonaSimply I wouldn't say blame as most people I've known have no particular malice towards me. .It's just a statement of reality..an unfortunate side effect of being one of a tiny minority.One that might be understood by members of other groups say a woman or coloured person or a LGBTQ.Neurodiverse rights aren't even on the radar yet.
@@benjaminhildebrand2220 I agree I spent the first 55 years of my life with no idea about ASD thinking I was a failed nt.Then 10 years ago I self diagnosed and felt so much better.Still crippled with anxiety but life is greatly improved by knowing.
This really helps me to realize that my autistic boyfriend's behavior is nothing to get angry about. It is also something I want to consider before I get in deeper. I thought he was the love of my life, and then he started doing hurtful things. Maybe we are not really a good match, though. This gives me so much to think about, and it has taken me out of the "hopelessly in love" stage that was actually crippling me.
Thank u thank u thank u!!
It's 100% accurate to my boyfriend pattern n behavior in the way he cope n react.. u've answered all my confusion, misunderstanding each other,suffered n struggle in terms of dealing n try to understand him for the pass 12yrs...
i felt a huge brainstorm like tsunami washed over me,sad n huge relief at the same time..As i just learned to know what asperges are,that's really a huge shocked to me,finally,it's all make sense now..
i constantly making the wrong approach that caused him felt stressed out,i did spend enormous time on research,changing strategy in terms of understanding male mindset inorder to creat better communication in our relationship..
wasn't aware of what im dealing with.. emotional brain blind...
He's genius in his field,absolutely a nice,kind hearted person n faithful partner when not come to deep talk or outrage. That's the key poin that keep me continue.
I kindda wished i come across ur videos at very first poin so that we can skip all the struggle along the way and work it out in better and fulfilling relationship and probably already tide the knot.
I'll continue to follow n try to understand more.
THANK YOU
It's a thin line between enabling the hfa partner in ways that may not be beneficial for either. Walking on egg shells to avoid triggering seems to be necessary to reduce meltdowns! However how would healthy accountability fit into a relationship with a hfa partner ?
I really struggle with this because not only am I high functioning autistic, I also am an INTJ who tends to intuit or predict future possibilities and potential problems naturally. When I am mentally and emotionally stable, this ability is invaluable in my jobs as a troubleshooter, beta tester and editor. It makes me one of the best in those fields.
When I am not in a good mental or emotional state however, that strength becomes a problem because it makes my anxiety worse. I think naturally in terms of correct versus incorrect. When there is order and everything is working correctly, I am at peace. If anything is out of order or malfunctioning, I need to fix or replace it. I can examine a system - physical or conceptual - and predict if it will work long term. If there is a possibility that something could fail, I need to prepare for it and either prevent it from happening or mitigate the damage as soon as it happens. I can't tell you how many times I've said "I told you so" or wanted to when things go wrong.
Sometimes, though, I feel anxious but can't articulate exactly why. As a kid, I tried to explain it by saying that my Spidey Sense was tingling. I just knew something was wrong or about to go wrong. Then the 'if - then' logic way my mind works would make this sense worse.
My ex fiance was ASD, and he has such a dramatic meltdown that he cancelled our wedding 1 week before 😢. I didn't know how to help control him getting to the meltdown point. I wish I listened to your videos so we could have had better communications and understanding of each other. I am so tempted to contact him but I know he has such bad memory and emotional trigger with me now that I doubt he even wants to talk to me again.
You should reach out if you loved him, never let a chance for love be lost by your doubt of him not wanting to hear from you. My girlfriend broke up with me , I believe , I am like your fiance except I don't get really angry I get frustrated anyway we are broken up because she doesn't understand me, I'm trying to get her to watch these videos in hopes it will bring us back together. I wish you luck in love!!
This is very much describing myself.
Is there any way I can call and pay for a session
mbhutten@gmail.com
Isn't it obvious living with extreme anxiety will have many negative effects on anyone?Less obvious is that living in a world created by nt's causes the anxiety for people on the spectrum.
@@MonaSimply Sorry you think that I was doing that..
@@MonaSimply I wouldn't say blame as most people I've known have no particular malice towards me. .It's just a statement of reality..an unfortunate side effect of being one of a tiny minority.One that might be understood by members of other groups say a woman or coloured person or a LGBTQ.Neurodiverse rights aren't even on the radar yet.
@@benjaminhildebrand2220 Then thank your lucky stars for that.
@@benjaminhildebrand2220 I agree I spent the first 55 years of my life with no idea about ASD thinking I was a failed nt.Then 10 years ago I self diagnosed and felt so much better.Still crippled with anxiety but life is greatly improved by knowing.
@@51elephantchang glad knowing help u. I can imagine. Once u know only can use strategies to help get u through. BLESSINGS