Thanks for watching. Check out 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think and get an additional 20% discount on the annual subscription at shortform.com/cole
To clarify: No, I don’t think not being able to find shoes is “my life falling apart”. Rather, it was the event that caused my mindset to shift to the way it did to help me get through much tougher times.
With no expectations comes no anger or disappointment and we can't fathom why God works the way he does, Ecclesiastes says that life is "hevel" or meaningless in English but the correct translation of that word is smoke which is that life has meaning but it is unclear
@@jackrobertson5423 This was my thought too, though without the Jesus stuff. 😅 It's a very relatable story (it is rooted in a "first world problem", but we are on RUclips after all), and at its core it is about managing expectations and acceptance of the present moment. I do enjoy how Buddhist that Jesus was - I just wish most Christians were more like Jesus in that way (i.e., Buddhist).
Moral of the story: Do not label the events. They are neither good or bad. It’s our own expectations which make us perceive them either good or bad. Our attachment to an outcome leads to frustration.
This came out literally at the perfect time in my life. I've been feeling so lost after my girlfriend broke up with me and along with that I realized I have no real friends in my life at all, my college degree is falling apart and I've lost my parent's "love" because of it and I'm stuck in a financial situation I don't want to be in. Life sucked and yesterday I was honestly planning on taking my own life, something I hadn't considered in a long time but i thought to myself in the moment I'm only 21 (going to be on August 16th) and I have more to live more, so even if it's painful right now just hold on. I hated it, I hated holding on. I wanted to drown in a pool, just breathe in the water. Or hang myself that would've been nice. But i forced myself to keep going. And i'm still here this morning. Still alive, still trying.
@@filz964 Recently things have started to shift - well more like i've shifted my mindset. I took a long hard look at my relationship and where things are going right now with my ex and realized I had certain flaws that I need to develop and she's at a point where i guess she is still not sure what she wants. I was so focused on trying to get her back/thinking we'd get back that I didn't start focusing on me, and truly being happy myself. And now it's a choice and a reminder I make each day to focus on me, because let's face it we never know if that person is coming back and hanging onto that is not the best mentality anyhow.... As for my friends, alot of @Cole Hastings videos have helped in changing my mindset when approahcing people and I figured even at first I am not the most charming or charistmatic I'd rather be myself and improve my social skills to find people who'd truly want to be around me for me, rather than become a person who totally changes their personalities for others like I did in highschool. and as for studies and my financial situation? Get off my ass and start working xD alot of my current situation is a result of letting my life go because I couldn't handle tough situations properly, and yeah its been tough and I understand everyone gets down bad, but now that I'm trying to start from the foundation of building up the proper mindset frameworks, the only occasional obstacle to my work seems to be procasination - something I'm also working on improving. So yeah, in a very long message; working on it 😂 I guess i always will be but that's the joy in right? At least for me the way I see it now. Always moving forward even when I fall back a bit on old mindsets and loving myself and accepting myself for the first time in a long time and making it a concious choice everyday.
@@rei6249 I feel you bro, been single for quite a while but I am going to ask out a cutie that works in a store in my city. I am tired of being timid and not taking action, since I believe I have an insane amount if potential in so many things in life but unfortunately you have to take action. But also in general mood regulation on daily basis activities I need to work on myself. Once I see improvement and steps forward I am the happiest person alive and put in lots if work, but get quickly burned out by my passion for things and the result is often a relapse. So I absolutely get you, nowadays you have to be your own therapist in a way to move on. But we are gonna make it bra.😉🤙🏼
Cole, man, I'm living the situation of anger you've talked about (or I would call it disappointment in my case) right now. And just as you depicted it: Goals set, strategy set, confident that everything is going to go perfectly, and in the end the Universe says "f**k it". It does regard my RUclips channel, that I thought would go much better than this. But well, persistency is the key! Great work like always, love your work and your honesty!!!
Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you will be saved and given eternal life. John 3:16 (share the good news of the gospel around the world!) John 3:16 King James Version 16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Romans 10:9 “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” Galatians 3:26 King James Version 26 For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. Titus 3:5-7 King James Version 5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; 6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; 7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. Ecclesiastes 12:13 “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.” King James Version (KJV) Revelation 4:11 King James Version 11 Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. Revelation 16:12 “And the sixth angel poured out his vial upon the great river Euphrates; and the water thereof was dried up, that the way of the kings of the east might be prepared.” King James Version (KJV) (Share the good news of the gospel around the world!) Jesus Christ/Yeshua is coming! Repent now, accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and be saved and given eternal life while you still can!) The prophecy of Euphrates River Drying Up is happening now 2022 RUclips channel: ARN News Iraq's two main rivers, the Euphrates and the Tigris, will run completely dry within two decades unless action is taken, a report by the country's water ministry has warned. The two rivers, which originate in Turkey and run through Syria, are the source of up to 98 per cent of Iraq's surface water supply.Dec 3, 2021 Source: thetimes .co . uk
Very timely video. It is the classic Murphy’s law - when things go wrong, they go really wrong. Some of the biggest things that helped me: - meditation - recognize emotions come and go & they are not you. - take time for self care. You cant help anyone else if you cant help yourself first. - hit the gym. Cardio and lifting weights. Especially if you’re going through a break up. Great storytelling Cole :)
It's so bleak to see us all relating on this desperation level. but at the same time the most comforting thing I have ever seen. We need a big group hug!
I was forced to come to a similar conclusion after I revently lost my relationship, job, and place I was living. I realized that expecting anything from anybody is a waste and you can only worry about yourself.
I highly recommend all of you traveling like Cole did, it improves mental health, boost testosterone, gives you life experience, etc... I'm moving to Alaska tomorrow and will be living there for a few months working in a field of work I only got into thanks to self improvement, self improvement told me to step out my comfort zone, so I got a job where I have to face my social anxiety, after months of working in this line of work I get the opportunity to live in Alaska, stepping out of your comfort zone will truly change your life, now I'll be recording vlogs out in Alaska and adding life lessons into the vlogs, taking my RUclips channel to the next level, this all happen because I faced my fears!!!!
“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT
I really needed this video, as someone who gets extremely disappointed in themselves when I look forward towards something and it doesn’t happen. I’ve always had high expectations not only for myself but for how I think I should live my life, and the unpredictability does make me feel a bit uncomfortable in a sense because I’ve always held in to the idea that I’m in control of my life and everything that happens to me. Maybe I’m not or I never was
I gave up watching self-improvement videos a few weeks ago because I was frustrated that I cannot succeed. I just clicked on this video randomly and It is changing my mindset
Juz want you to know that you have enlightened my life multiple times. I'm not a book reader but I gain a lot of power and knowledge from your videos. I was lost, desperate and weak. Now, I feel like a new me opening another chapter of my life. btw, your '"overthinking video about samurai" was my favorite. You're awesome
Bro, I learned this same concept through cold showering for about 4 years. Every winter when the water would freeze my bones and my mind came up with reasons to give up, I stared at the water and said to myself "the water just is, we are the ones who choose to feel the heat". Even though this mindset was The One thing necessary to free me from expectations, it took me two years to do the same with a second unhealthy habit, video games. Then one year with the third, offing the jack, and now the biggest of all my bad habits, overeating. Life IS what we choose it to be, and I choose freedom. I choose consciousness. Little by little, we can detach from ourselves to guide us to a better place.
I'm going to see my dad for the first time in 3 1/2 years and I'm grateful for this video because I was quite worried about the outcome. I might still worry a bit, since I've been like this for ages, but the worrying has definetley gone down now, since I'm not worried about how it goes.
Great content, and I completely agree. Expectations are the cause of a lot of unnecessary human suffering. You cannot control the future through "desired outcomes."
Thanks! Love this cole,💜💚💓 Different perspective Thank u so much Was having a really bad migraine coz of stress n depression Ur videos help me with depression
Dude, Cole those photos of your past self and your present self in the same location was truly amazing! Congrats on accomplishing many things that you always wanted man! You truly deserve it!
Amazing video, thanks for sharing your own story. I think becoming mentally strong is a long journey, which requires to challenge yourself all the time and realize, that even if bad things happen with you it will serve your growth in the future. Without a growing mindset, it can be tough, so you have to strongly believe that everything happens for a good reason, even if you don't understand in the present.
so happy to watch your video in new york. life is interesting and it could be lived in a more relaxed way. we don't have to get everything we wanted because it could be overwhelming. success, regardless of our definitions, will come when we are filled with understanding.
im so glad I seen this! im currently frustrated because I keep getting denied for jobs and I sometimes lose hope..but I know ill get something someday!
I always learn something new from your videos so this time I felt surprised (and a little proud) that this video's lesson was something I knew for a long time. Don't have high expectatuons so you don't get dissapointed
Reminds me of the Alan Watts story of The Chinese Farmer where he responds "maybe" to every so-called bad or good situation. “You never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.” - Alan Watts
At the end of the day you can always think it could all be a lot worse. And at the start of the day you can say i don't have any expectations for this. Pessimism and low expectations are the answers to anger management.
I've expected friendships relationships to have a good outcome for me but my closest friend stopped answering my calls and my gf broke up with me it felt and still feels like I'm at complete rock bottom but then I discovered this and realised sometimes it is best not to have a expected out come because if things go down hill you can feel really down and that can affect you for days
This is pure stoicism, something is good or bad just because we put a label on it. Sometimes bad stuff happen as a oportunity for other things happen (or not).
Loving the content, man. Don't stop doing what you're doing. I would like to talk to you about translate your videos to PT-BR. I'm sure a lot of people here will love your content. 🇧🇷
When I was younger, I was developing some expectations about reality. I always thought I'd be as smart as my best friend. (that if I believed myself, it'd be true) Now I understand that I've always been ambitious and I took it too seriously. But I don't understand how to stop the anger except re-watching this video.
Stoic saying something like that: your fear and disappointment for an event or a person is not the fault of that thing, but your expectations about those things.
I found this video at the perfect timing, for the last few weeks I've been so angry that the world couldn't just throw me a bone and let me reach the light of finishing this video on time and going meet up with some old friends again but life's been snowballing issues pretty hard. I try to change my perspective in times like this to keep pushing forward and doing self reflection + videos like these have really helped me zoom out my perspective and calm down Been subbed for a whole year, you do great work Cole 🙏
I think having this mindset is quite healthy. maybe I'm coming from a religious bg but we were taught that everything happen for reasons. and always have faith in God that He will give you a better one after a rejection. and i always believe in that. things turned out pretty good. every time I had a rejection or disappointment, I always tell myself 'it's ok, something good will happen. He will replace a better one'. and after so many occasions, I did get a better one. hence I always believe in that
I love your content bro, it is actually useful and insightful. Unlike alot of "self improvement" cults. That just promote a ideology To people who lack critical thinking. Keep doing what you are doing man ❤️
Usually self help videos stop at 'change your mindset' or 'think positively ' or 'work hard'. For someone who tried all this and still failed, I often can't relate and get frustrated with that content. This was different and took into account that u can still 'lose', and its the expectations that need to be tapered.
Honestly man, if I don't find the pair of shoes I want after the second store I'll just wait to buy them. I really like the story and the realization that came from it tho. Great video Cole!
Yeah it should be like I'm gonna do this thing , whatever happens, happens. Not care if what you set out to accomplish didn't happen because of factors out of your control. Say it is what it is and move on
not gonna lie Cole, ive obviously always rocked with your self improvement vids but the style of this one was fire. the light humor and the dialogue between the coworkers had me laughing, i really like the laid back less serious story telling when you do it. seems natural. sorry about the 550s bro get em next time
I also wanna share something that may or may not help any of you and that is YOU have CONTROL. Just keep in mind before you do something, that you have control over what you do. Just believing that you do in fact have control(which you definitely do) already increase how much control you have(which is 100%). But still, don’t put any expectations like the video said.
Hard to put into practice. Takes years to build that sort of awareness and control over yourself, and might be next to impossible for people who have suffered through trauma. But it can be done.
Thank you for this man, I think I really need this today...I don't really know why this just came up in my RUclips feed, might be a simulation or shit but thanks. Basically you're saying that do not expect too much.
Read bhagwath geeta, it's philosophical book for self improvement. It taught me how to keep my anger in check and since that day, I have never lashed out. Basically I never get angry and even if I do, I manage to ease it and calm it down without escalating. I will tell you the basic idea just in case you aren'treading into the book due to book being stereo types into religious book. If you get angry, you lose your common sense and all other basic senses. Second is that being angry is a normal reaction and accept it but remember it's not the solution for your problem. Third is that anger occurs due to expectations. so do not expect anything or just expect all possible outcomes.
We can be so goal oriented and hard on ourselves that when things don’t work out we spiral down - even over really small things. Gary Zukav talks about authentic power - letting go of external control and influence and focusing on our intention and how we react instead. Your posts have been really helpful. Thanks for sharing :)
Best advice I would say is just bet on yourself and believe in your others. Only rely on others if they've been there for you during your low times in life. But one things for sure is at the end of the day. Only you will hsve your back till the end of time
I'm doing better than ever in life but your videos alone are very interesting to watch and you can always take out some inspiration. Thanks for that Cole! 🙂
Good, helpful analysis of having a mindset of not attributing an outcome to every event, backed up with great editing and a really entertaining narrative. Wasn’t sure of the link between the ‘no friends, single, broke’ thumbnail tho as you were meeting up with friends and looking for trainers in New York for your girlfriend and yourself. Nothing wrong with any of that as the story was great, but I’d really appreciate a little nudge to help my understanding of the link between the content and the thumbnail Cole!🙏🏼 Keep up the great work.
Cole i wanna thank you so much, after i was dumped i looked on youtube for some helping videos... all these shitty vids... your videos helped me the most!! You are athentic as heck 🙏 now im doing my life shit on my ex i give a shit about everybody only stay true to myself... greetings from germany, if you travel to germany you are welcome!
You did so much walking that you broke in your new shoes in record time lmaoo! Like when you said not to attach any labels to what you are going though. I have felt that lot of times in self improvement ppl do activities with specific outcomes in mind like making more friends or something then get disappointed when it doesn't happen right away. Having the mindset to keep going and adapt is key!
I've been feeling much of that anger recently. Might as well share some of my story. From last year, a relationship that I wanted didn't work out. Following that, my car broke down on a road trip. I planned to be away from home for a while so I terminated my apartment lease. So when I got back home I was technically homeless. To make this worse, the few people I knew made me feel like a burden. My sister wouldn't let me sleep at hers, so I had to sleep in my 2001 Toyota Celica, which I bought for 1k on Craigslist. A week later my mom had a change of heart. She let me have her spare room. Fast forward to the present day, I"m back at the job I quit before. I have more in savings. I drive a better car. I have an apartment. A better apartment than before. I backpacked Europe for a couple weeks. Also, I'm back in school and 6 classes away from an associates degree in cyber security with work is paying for it, but I still feel angry. I'm still angry at my friends and family who didn't go out of their way to help. It was my decision and my fault, but I would still have helped them out. Yeah, I bounced back. I still don't feel fulfilled. I'm still alone. Still single, not many friends. Don't feel like I have the energy or time for interactions. Sorry for the long comment. Life can get crazy man. All you can do is keep going and take one problem at a time. + been following for a while. Love what you do.
Awesome video Sometimes anger does get to us , I have to learn to be patient, A new game just came out a few days ago and is on digital not disk, which we’ll come out next month, I was bummed but I need to work on patients
Very good video! Just wanted to point this out - this is the idea of detachment present in Eastern philosophies (ie Hinduism and Buddhism). A lost of western philosophies wrongly interpret detachment as being detached from emotion when it's really detachment from expectation
In middle of a psychotic episode. Can't beleive that even after being so normal, you can be abnormal. I really wanna recover badly. Can't afford to see my life crippling down infornt of me. Anyone with some motivation or encouraging thoughts are genuinely appreciated. God bless everyone ✨
Right now is the most important time to take a step back from the digital world. The overstimulation and massive amount of information will only help to fuel your episode. Give yourself and break and go outside, meditate, or take a nap. Keep going my friend, you got this.
@@ColeHastings Too surprised to get back a reply from you. But that did motivate me from being the victim to being a victor. Sending lots of love and blessings ❤️
Hey Cole, I watched your video about quitting weed and I am quitting now myself. I started at a young age and can definitely feel the effects on my brain. Do you believe these effects are reversible over time and if so what is the time period? thanks🙏
Well, this event did lead to you making this great video - so you turned a negative into a positive. This is like the Japanese story about the boy who breaks his leg and the father says he doesn’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing, and finally the boy avoids going off to way because of the leg…. anyone??? :)😊
9 things to quit for all Strong people: 1. Caring about what others think 2. Not believing in yourself 3. Not experimenting different ideas / solutions for problems (life&business) 4. Not prioritizing your health 5. Wasting your precious time 6. Wanting something (instead write a plan and work towards it) 7. Chasing meaningless relationships 8. Wasting time by scrolling social media 9. Quitting addictions for good (if you have any - consider stopping it as it makes you mentally weak + affects your confidence and all other areas of your life!) 🚀 Take it easy and I hope you found one thing helpful in this list 💯☝
Loved your story, insight, and as always, your candor, Cole. If you get a chance, check out the 1985 Martin Scorsese dark comedy, “After Hours.” It’s classic about a software engineer in Manhattan who innocently takes a trip to Soho for the evening...and spends the rest of the night trying to get back home.
Thanks for watching.
Check out 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think and get an additional 20% discount on the annual subscription at shortform.com/cole
Will do that! Thank you for this great content.
To clarify: No, I don’t think not being able to find shoes is “my life falling apart”. Rather, it was the event that caused my mindset to shift to the way it did to help me get through much tougher times.
With no expectations comes no anger or disappointment and we can't fathom why God works the way he does, Ecclesiastes says that life is "hevel" or meaningless in English but the correct translation of that word is smoke which is that life has meaning but it is unclear
Cute🤣
@@stevenlee5996 does philosophy not interest you?
@@jackrobertson5423 This was my thought too, though without the Jesus stuff. 😅 It's a very relatable story (it is rooted in a "first world problem", but we are on RUclips after all), and at its core it is about managing expectations and acceptance of the present moment.
I do enjoy how Buddhist that Jesus was - I just wish most Christians were more like Jesus in that way (i.e., Buddhist).
Moral of the story: Do not label the events. They are neither good or bad. It’s our own expectations which make us perceive them either good or bad. Our attachment to an outcome leads to frustration.
This came out literally at the perfect time in my life. I've been feeling so lost after my girlfriend broke up with me and along with that I realized I have no real friends in my life at all, my college degree is falling apart and I've lost my parent's "love" because of it and I'm stuck in a financial situation I don't want to be in. Life sucked and yesterday I was honestly planning on taking my own life, something I hadn't considered in a long time but i thought to myself in the moment I'm only 21 (going to be on August 16th) and I have more to live more, so even if it's painful right now just hold on. I hated it, I hated holding on. I wanted to drown in a pool, just breathe in the water. Or hang myself that would've been nice.
But i forced myself to keep going. And i'm still here this morning. Still alive, still trying.
Bro keep going trust me ,it's only a temporary situation. Things would not remain the same
That sounds very tough. Any idea how to solve each problem?
@@emiloluwafejayeoba1476 thank you man, means alot
@@filz964 Recently things have started to shift - well more like i've shifted my mindset. I took a long hard look at my relationship and where things are going right now with my ex and realized I had certain flaws that I need to develop and she's at a point where i guess she is still not sure what she wants. I was so focused on trying to get her back/thinking we'd get back that I didn't start focusing on me, and truly being happy myself. And now it's a choice and a reminder I make each day to focus on me, because let's face it we never know if that person is coming back and hanging onto that is not the best mentality anyhow....
As for my friends, alot of @Cole Hastings videos have helped in changing my mindset when approahcing people and I figured even at first I am not the most charming or charistmatic I'd rather be myself and improve my social skills to find people who'd truly want to be around me for me, rather than become a person who totally changes their personalities for others like I did in highschool.
and as for studies and my financial situation? Get off my ass and start working xD alot of my current situation is a result of letting my life go because I couldn't handle tough situations properly, and yeah its been tough and I understand everyone gets down bad, but now that I'm trying to start from the foundation of building up the proper mindset frameworks, the only occasional obstacle to my work seems to be procasination - something I'm also working on improving.
So yeah, in a very long message; working on it 😂 I guess i always will be but that's the joy in right? At least for me the way I see it now. Always moving forward even when I fall back a bit on old mindsets and loving myself and accepting myself for the first time in a long time and making it a concious choice everyday.
@@rei6249 I feel you bro, been single for quite a while but I am going to ask out a cutie that works in a store in my city. I am tired of being timid and not taking action, since I believe I have an insane amount if potential in so many things in life but unfortunately you have to take action. But also in general mood regulation on daily basis activities I need to work on myself. Once I see improvement and steps forward I am the happiest person alive and put in lots if work, but get quickly burned out by my passion for things and the result is often a relapse. So I absolutely get you, nowadays you have to be your own therapist in a way to move on. But we are gonna make it bra.😉🤙🏼
Cole, man, I'm living the situation of anger you've talked about (or I would call it disappointment in my case) right now. And just as you depicted it: Goals set, strategy set, confident that everything is going to go perfectly, and in the end the Universe says "f**k it". It does regard my RUclips channel, that I thought would go much better than this. But well, persistency is the key!
Great work like always, love your work and your honesty!!!
Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you will be saved and given eternal life. John 3:16 (share the good news of the gospel around the world!)
John 3:16 King James Version 16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Romans 10:9
“That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”
Galatians 3:26 King James Version 26 For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.
Titus 3:5-7 King James Version 5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; 6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; 7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
Ecclesiastes 12:13
“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”
King James Version (KJV)
Revelation 4:11
King James Version
11 Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.
Revelation 16:12
“And the sixth angel poured out his vial upon the great river Euphrates; and the water thereof was dried up, that the way of the kings of the east might be prepared.”
King James Version (KJV)
(Share the good news of the gospel around the world!) Jesus Christ/Yeshua is coming! Repent now, accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and be saved and given eternal life while you still can!)
The prophecy of Euphrates River Drying Up is happening now 2022
RUclips channel: ARN News
Iraq's two main rivers, the Euphrates and the Tigris, will run completely dry within two decades unless action is taken, a report by the country's water ministry has warned. The two rivers, which originate in Turkey and run through Syria, are the source of up to 98 per cent of Iraq's surface water supply.Dec 3, 2021
Source: thetimes .co . uk
Very timely video. It is the classic Murphy’s law - when things go wrong, they go really wrong.
Some of the biggest things that helped me:
- meditation - recognize emotions come and go & they are not you.
- take time for self care. You cant help anyone else if you cant help yourself first.
- hit the gym. Cardio and lifting weights. Especially if you’re going through a break up.
Great storytelling Cole :)
It's so bleak to see us all relating on this desperation level. but at the same time the most comforting thing I have ever seen. We need a big group hug!
I was forced to come to a similar conclusion after I revently lost my relationship, job, and place I was living. I realized that expecting anything from anybody is a waste and you can only worry about yourself.
I highly recommend all of you traveling like Cole did, it improves mental health, boost testosterone, gives you life experience, etc...
I'm moving to Alaska tomorrow and will be living there for a few months working in a field of work I only got into thanks to self improvement, self improvement told me to step out my comfort zone, so I got a job where I have to face my social anxiety, after months of working in this line of work I get the opportunity to live in Alaska, stepping out of your comfort zone will truly change your life, now I'll be recording vlogs out in Alaska and adding life lessons into the vlogs, taking my RUclips channel to the next level, this all happen because I faced my fears!!!!
Inspiration
I'm not even a young adult yet.
@@upbestsalt1551 if you're already on self improvement, you're going to be great man, I wish I was on this path when I was your sge
@@upbestsalt1551 age*
Travel requires money and good company. I lack both. Oh well, maybe in my next life..
“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”
Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT
I really needed this video, as someone who gets extremely disappointed in themselves when I look forward towards something and it doesn’t happen. I’ve always had high expectations not only for myself but for how I think I should live my life, and the unpredictability does make me feel a bit uncomfortable in a sense because I’ve always held in to the idea that I’m in control of my life and everything that happens to me. Maybe I’m not or I never was
Needed this more than you could imagine. Been half a year since I watched you and this blew my mind.
Hopefully in a good way haha. Thanks for watching man!
I gave up watching self-improvement videos a few weeks ago because I was frustrated that I cannot succeed.
I just clicked on this video randomly and It is changing my mindset
Juz want you to know that you have enlightened my life multiple times. I'm not a book reader but I gain a lot of power and knowledge from your videos. I was lost, desperate and weak. Now, I feel like a new me opening another chapter of my life. btw, your '"overthinking video about samurai" was my favorite. You're awesome
Happy to help. Keep growing my friend
You’ve really opened my eyes I used to expect things from every situation being closed minded now I’ll learn to not expect things and be open minded
Expectations equals BS and disappointment. Thank You for that much needed message.
Thanks for watching!
Yes! That end is so true. Altering your mindset is really important. Thanks for the great advice
That was the smoothest transition to an ad read I've ever seen. Kudos.
This is so relatable. I do pretty well in life. When everything seems to be falling apart, I often have a hard time not breaking down.
Bro, I learned this same concept through cold showering for about 4 years. Every winter when the water would freeze my bones and my mind came up with reasons to give up, I stared at the water and said to myself "the water just is, we are the ones who choose to feel the heat".
Even though this mindset was The One thing necessary to free me from expectations, it took me two years to do the same with a second unhealthy habit, video games. Then one year with the third, offing the jack, and now the biggest of all my bad habits, overeating.
Life IS what we choose it to be, and I choose freedom. I choose consciousness. Little by little, we can detach from ourselves to guide us to a better place.
Absolute W mindset. I applaud you
I'm going to see my dad for the first time in 3 1/2 years and I'm grateful for this video because I was quite worried about the outcome. I might still worry a bit, since I've been like this for ages, but the worrying has definetley gone down now, since I'm not worried about how it goes.
Great content, and I completely agree. Expectations are the cause of a lot of unnecessary human suffering. You cannot control the future through "desired outcomes."
yo the editing is a 10/10 and this story about shoes has me gripped this is a video for generations to come
“If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.”
Thanks! Love this cole,💜💚💓
Different perspective
Thank u so much
Was having a really bad migraine coz of stress n depression
Ur videos help me with depression
Thank you for watching!
This has led me to being Stoic, Another great video Cole.
"Perfect Brilliant Stillness " - David Carse. I think you are a perfect candidate for that book.
Nice, agreed, Lower expectations and focus on actions in the present
Dude, Cole those photos of your past self and your present self in the same location was truly amazing! Congrats on accomplishing many things that you always wanted man! You truly deserve it!
Your story telling is incredible, really enjoyed watching this
It’s crazy how everytime I’m in a situation your video comes out and speak on that exact situation in some way
Amazing video, thanks for sharing your own story. I think becoming mentally strong is a long journey, which requires to challenge yourself all the time and realize, that even if bad things happen with you it will serve your growth in the future. Without a growing mindset, it can be tough, so you have to strongly believe that everything happens for a good reason, even if you don't understand in the present.
Channel with most quality contest on youtube. Thanks for everything Cole. Greetings from Croatia man and keep your great work!! 💪🏻💪🏻
so happy to watch your video in new york. life is interesting and it could be lived in a more relaxed way. we don't have to get everything we wanted because it could be overwhelming. success, regardless of our definitions, will come when we are filled with understanding.
Cole thanks again for your videos, literally my fav RUclipsr. man you deserve more subs.
I appreciate that a lot Dio
im so glad I seen this! im currently frustrated because I keep getting denied for jobs and I sometimes lose hope..but I know ill get something someday!
I always learn something new from your videos so this time I felt surprised (and a little proud) that this video's lesson was something I knew for a long time. Don't have high expectatuons so you don't get dissapointed
Reminds me of the Alan Watts story of The Chinese Farmer where he responds "maybe" to every so-called bad or good situation. “You never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.” - Alan Watts
Basically, focus on the experience of life and the rewards will make themselves known.
At the end of the day you can always think it could all be a lot worse.
And at the start of the day you can say i don't have any expectations for this.
Pessimism and low expectations are the answers to anger management.
Newer subscriber here! I’ve been loving the vids! Definitely great life advice and awesome ways to look at things. Keep up the amazing videos🤙
Thank you
I have cherophobia but I learned to expect the worst but always hope for the best
I've expected friendships relationships to have a good outcome for me but my closest friend stopped answering my calls and my gf broke up with me it felt and still feels like I'm at complete rock bottom but then I discovered this and realised sometimes it is best not to have a expected out come because if things go down hill you can feel really down and that can affect you for days
Cole's content is getting better and better.
This is pure stoicism, something is good or bad just because we put a label on it. Sometimes bad stuff happen as a oportunity for other things happen (or not).
Loving the content, man. Don't stop doing what you're doing. I would like to talk to you about translate your videos to PT-BR. I'm sure a lot of people here will love your content. 🇧🇷
I also would love to translate to spanish
When I was younger, I was developing some expectations about reality. I always thought I'd be as smart as my best friend. (that if I believed myself, it'd be true) Now I understand that I've always been ambitious and I took it too seriously. But I don't understand how to stop the anger except re-watching this video.
you really post the right videos at the right time. Big up G. Love from UK.
Love it! A good week to all of us!
Stoic saying something like that: your fear and disappointment for an event or a person is not the fault of that thing, but your expectations about those things.
Great video Cole! We gotta learn to be okay with whatever outcome life surprises us with. It is the best way to avoid suffering.
Luv u
I found this video at the perfect timing, for the last few weeks I've been so angry that the world couldn't just throw me a bone and let me reach the light of finishing this video on time and going meet up with some old friends again but life's been snowballing issues pretty hard.
I try to change my perspective in times like this to keep pushing forward and doing self reflection + videos like these have really helped me zoom out my perspective and calm down
Been subbed for a whole year, you do great work Cole 🙏
Happy to help. Thanks for still being here
I think having this mindset is quite healthy. maybe I'm coming from a religious bg but we were taught that everything happen for reasons. and always have faith in God that He will give you a better one after a rejection. and i always believe in that. things turned out pretty good. every time I had a rejection or disappointment, I always tell myself 'it's ok, something good will happen. He will replace a better one'. and after so many occasions, I did get a better one. hence I always believe in that
gotta love that berserk wallpaper 🔥👌🏾
Always
I love your content bro, it is actually useful and insightful.
Unlike alot of "self improvement" cults.
That just promote a ideology
To people who lack critical thinking.
Keep doing what you are doing man ❤️
Usually self help videos stop at 'change your mindset' or 'think positively ' or 'work hard'. For someone who tried all this and still failed, I often can't relate and get frustrated with that content. This was different and took into account that u can still 'lose', and its the expectations that need to be tapered.
I wanna say that you were big help when i was at my lowest , thank you
Keep moving forward king!
@@ColeHastings I will thank you sensei TATAKAE
Honestly man, if I don't find the pair of shoes I want after the second store I'll just wait to buy them. I really like the story and the realization that came from it tho. Great video Cole!
Same lol
Man, I needed this video so much, thanks again Cole!
Yeah it should be like I'm gonna do this thing , whatever happens, happens. Not care if what you set out to accomplish didn't happen because of factors out of your control. Say it is what it is and move on
not gonna lie Cole, ive obviously always rocked with your self improvement vids but the style of this one was fire. the light humor and the dialogue between the coworkers had me laughing, i really like the laid back less serious story telling when you do it. seems natural. sorry about the 550s bro get em next time
I really appreciate that bro. Thank you
I also wanna share something that may or may not help any of you and that is YOU have CONTROL. Just keep in mind before you do something, that you have control over what you do. Just believing that you do in fact have control(which you definitely do) already increase how much control you have(which is 100%). But still, don’t put any expectations like the video said.
Hard to put into practice. Takes years to build that sort of awareness and control over yourself, and might be next to impossible for people who have suffered through trauma. But it can be done.
Thank you for this man, I think I really need this today...I don't really know why this just came up in my RUclips feed, might be a simulation or shit but thanks. Basically you're saying that do not expect too much.
I was feeling this way for a while now actually but I'm trying to get better, thanks Cole.
Thanks great story
Information is powerful. But it is how we use it that will define us.
Phenomenal vid man. I have that same problem with expectations.
needed this video, thanks Cole !
Read bhagwath geeta, it's philosophical book for self improvement. It taught me how to keep my anger in check and since that day, I have never lashed out. Basically I never get angry and even if I do, I manage to ease it and calm it down without escalating. I will tell you the basic idea just in case you aren'treading into the book due to book being stereo types into religious book. If you get angry, you lose your common sense and all other basic senses. Second is that being angry is a normal reaction and accept it but remember it's not the solution for your problem. Third is that anger occurs due to expectations. so do not expect anything or just expect all possible outcomes.
Video is a little bit confusing but keep going. U always release some bangers that hit home.
We can be so goal oriented and hard on ourselves that when things don’t work out we spiral down - even over really small things.
Gary Zukav talks about authentic power - letting go of external control and influence and focusing on our intention and how we react instead.
Your posts have been really helpful. Thanks for sharing :)
I need this so much right now
You the man Cole 🙌 Thank you for everything.
Thanks for watching David
Best advice I would say is just bet on yourself and believe in your others. Only rely on others if they've been there for you during your low times in life. But one things for sure is at the end of the day. Only you will hsve your back till the end of time
Thank you!
I'm doing better than ever in life but your videos alone are very interesting to watch and you can always take out some inspiration. Thanks for that Cole! 🙂
Thanks for continuously watching them Andreas
Thank you. I felt similar today, so this video helped me a lot
Good, helpful analysis of having a mindset of not attributing an outcome to every event, backed up with great editing and a really entertaining narrative.
Wasn’t sure of the link between the ‘no friends, single, broke’ thumbnail tho as you were meeting up with friends and looking for trainers in New York for your girlfriend and yourself. Nothing wrong with any of that as the story was great, but I’d really appreciate a little nudge to help my understanding of the link between the content and the thumbnail Cole!🙏🏼
Keep up the great work.
Cole i wanna thank you so much, after i was dumped i looked on youtube for some helping videos... all these shitty vids... your videos helped me the most!! You are athentic as heck 🙏 now im doing my life shit on my ex i give a shit about everybody only stay true to myself... greetings from germany, if you travel to germany you are welcome!
MURPHY'S LAW DOESN'T MEAN THAT SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN.
WHAT IT MEANS IS WHATEVER
CAN HAPPEN, WILL HAPPEN.
-cooper from interstellar
0:12 Berserk Enjoyer lets gooooo
thanKS sir made my day
You did so much walking that you broke in your new shoes in record time lmaoo! Like when you said not to attach any labels to what you are going though. I have felt that lot of times in self improvement ppl do activities with specific outcomes in mind like making more friends or something then get disappointed when it doesn't happen right away. Having the mindset to keep going and adapt is key!
I've been feeling much of that anger recently. Might as well share some of my story.
From last year, a relationship that I wanted didn't work out. Following that, my car broke down on a road trip. I planned to be away from home for a while so I terminated my apartment lease. So when I got back home I was technically homeless. To make this worse, the few people I knew made me feel like a burden. My sister wouldn't let me sleep at hers, so I had to sleep in my 2001 Toyota Celica, which I bought for 1k on Craigslist. A week later my mom had a change of heart. She let me have her spare room.
Fast forward to the present day, I"m back at the job I quit before. I have more in savings. I drive a better car. I have an apartment. A better apartment than before. I backpacked Europe for a couple weeks. Also, I'm back in school and 6 classes away from an associates degree in cyber security with work is paying for it, but I still feel angry. I'm still angry at my friends and family who didn't go out of their way to help. It was my decision and my fault, but I would still have helped them out. Yeah, I bounced back. I still don't feel fulfilled. I'm still alone. Still single, not many friends. Don't feel like I have the energy or time for interactions.
Sorry for the long comment. Life can get crazy man. All you can do is keep going and take one problem at a time.
+ been following for a while. Love what you do.
Awesome video Sometimes anger does get to us , I have to learn to be patient, A new game just came out a few days ago and is on digital not disk, which we’ll come out next month, I was bummed but I need to work on patients
This helps, thank you
Very good video! Just wanted to point this out - this is the idea of detachment present in Eastern philosophies (ie Hinduism and Buddhism). A lost of western philosophies wrongly interpret detachment as being detached from emotion when it's really detachment from expectation
If it's gonna be worth doing, go for it.
Excellent video
Your message is quite similar to Buddhist wisdom, "Don't worry about achieving or perfection, just be there each moment as best as you can."
I have no friends, single, and broke and I’m fine. It won’t last forever as long as you love yourself first
Important and on point
In middle of a psychotic episode.
Can't beleive that even after being so normal, you can be abnormal. I really wanna recover badly. Can't afford to see my life crippling down infornt of me. Anyone with some motivation or encouraging thoughts are genuinely appreciated. God bless everyone ✨
Right now is the most important time to take a step back from the digital world. The overstimulation and massive amount of information will only help to fuel your episode. Give yourself and break and go outside, meditate, or take a nap. Keep going my friend, you got this.
@@ColeHastings Too surprised to get back a reply from you. But that did motivate me from being the victim to being a victor. Sending lots of love and blessings ❤️
@@riteshpujari7036hows going
Nice desktop wallpaper
Hey Cole, I watched your video about quitting weed and I am quitting now myself. I started at a young age and can definitely feel the effects on my brain. Do you believe these effects are reversible over time and if so what is the time period?
thanks🙏
Pretty much all effects are reversible. How long it takes depends on the person.
@@ColeHastings thanks so much, 🙏 love what you do
Well, this event did lead to you making this great video - so you turned a negative into a positive. This is like the Japanese story about the boy who breaks his leg and the father says he doesn’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing, and finally the boy avoids going off to way because of the leg…. anyone??? :)😊
I would become interested in Shortform only if they had summaries of Cole's videos.
😂
9 things to quit for all Strong people:
1. Caring about what others think
2. Not believing in yourself
3. Not experimenting different ideas / solutions for problems (life&business)
4. Not prioritizing your health
5. Wasting your precious time
6. Wanting something (instead write a plan and work towards it)
7. Chasing meaningless relationships
8. Wasting time by scrolling social media
9. Quitting addictions for good (if you have any - consider stopping it as it makes you mentally weak + affects your confidence and all other areas of your life!) 🚀
Take it easy and I hope you found one thing helpful in this list 💯☝
Thanks but I do this every single day.
Pretty good advice.
Loved your story, insight, and as always, your candor, Cole. If you get a chance, check out the 1985 Martin Scorsese dark comedy, “After Hours.” It’s classic about a software engineer in Manhattan who innocently takes a trip to Soho for the evening...and spends the rest of the night trying to get back home.
The dating example really hit close home.