A poem by Rishima that came to mind as I listened to Charles ~ “I believe in sensitive and kind men. I believe in the mystical men who believe in themselves. I believe in men who seek temperance and peace inside them. I believe in men poets, dreamers, magicians, writers, alchemists, artists, teachers, and angels. I believe in men who like to dance and sing and make life a celebration. I believe in men who embrace their wounded inner child, listen to him and embrace him true. I believe in men who want to heal and help others to heal. I believe in men who refuse to be slaves to their own wound and that despite the pain, they clean it and heal it patiently, with love and courage. I believe in men who come from the stars and remember the power of their wings, the power of their hands and the power of their heart. I believe in men who know of intuition and use it as their compass. I believe in men who share freedom because they are free and do not know another way to live. I believe in the men protective of women's energy, who know how to read the look of their beloved and who do not intend to change it, simply accompany it wisely on their flight. I believe in full men who don't need anything from outside because they already know that everything has it inside. I believe in men who make fire when they are cold, that take refuge in water when they are thirsty. I believe in men with truthful eyes they see themselves and that's why they love and respect every creature that exists on earth. I believe in men, perfectly imperfect, because it is in that imperfection is where they also find their beauty. I believe in sensitive men who know how to receive and give love in balance, who listen and who also speak, those who live and let them live. I believe in men who live sexuality as sacred, because they know that it is a wonderful gift. I believe in men with clear feelings, which are accessible. I believe in men who walk barefoot and speak to the plants. I believe in the tender and wild men at the same time. I believe in the sacred male and in all the divinity they have stood.”
FeralThought you can always walk away. It may not be easy, but few things worth doing ever are. Start with a news sabbatical and see where that leads next.
This touched me deeply, raising a sensitive, compassionate, introverted teenage son. I so want him to experience the fullness of healthy masculinity. I see him experience the pain of its toxicity in our culture. I consider myself a feminist who loves her brilliant beautiful son more than life itself. I can see the injury that his growing knowledge of patriarchy is doing to his heart and it causes me sadness. But I also see him celebrating the authenticity of himself without the toxic masculinity with which he does not identify. Thank you for this topic.
@@farhiyadirir8497 I can only imagine how those types of relationships could be extremely painful. My heart goes out to anyone who has been injured by them. Hurt creates more hurt it seems and then the injured often inflict pain on more people. Seeking healing and growing in self compassion and then empathy and compassion towards others and all living things can help us all.
@@farhiyadirir8497 I was raised by an abusive narscistic mother who was raised by an alcoholic physically abusive mother who was raised by an immigrant survivor of WWII. All father's we're absent. I know that toxicity of mothers first hand. All I could do was seek my own life long healing in therapy and not become the same as my abusers. I had to find forgiveness. By the way, I am not a expert about the toxicity of complex relationships (masculine or feminine) I was just commenting on Charles talk and how it made me think of my son.. I am just a mother who loves her healthy boysterous masculine teenage son, who himself is saddened by some of the mysogyny by his teenage peers and media. I was just commenting on how men also have suffered from the pressure to be a tough "man" and not respect women. Boys actually have to be almost bullied into hearing "don't be like a girl" as that is a bad thing. I am so thankful that my amazing son can discover his true self, love himself the way he is, and express his spectrum of masculinity, not caring what others think.
Men haven't suffered more than women. Man's brutality to women, children, the earth, and each other needs to be cured. When they gain the courage to look at themselves we might have a chance to save civilization.
Hey wow, thank you as always for sharing such valuable insights with the world. I've just recently begun to consciously walk the path of healing. I had no clear idea what to heal or how to heal, but felt somethings completely off when I returned home after almost 3 years of seeing the world. You give so much clarity to essential concerns of our time that I wish to spread. I feel understood, I feel supported and inspired. Since my teenages I've been longing for a healthy man as role-model or mentor to reflect my own masculine being. There were a few, but right now I feel endlessly grateful to hear you speak from the heart, to have an idea of qualities I wish to integrate in my being. Thanks for walking ahead and by our side, you are precious, you are loved!
EVERYONE needs to hear this! Charles - so beautifully and sensitively put as always! Thank you. Please title your videos in a way that more people will see them! They are important to hear widely!
A view of this subject that I have found to bring the best clarification of masculine and feminine is that both have positive and negative poles and where we are on that scale is where we are as a society. Our society has been dominated by the negative male energy for centuries with a mirror response from the negative female energy. Our goal as a society and culture it to move both genders toward a balance of negative/positive energy with both genders being equal to each other in all things.
Very good talk! Do you have a link to the Navajo talk? I would very much like to read and/or watch it, as I am fascinated by gender, and what it means to be a woman, a man, or another gender.
I'm reading your book and have had lot of inspiration from it. I see a lot of your work has similarities with the feminist discourse of the binary opposition: it's not saying that there should not be categories but there is a multitude of expressions. The idea you are talking here in your video, that the patriarchy could some how be able to form to an "healthy patriarchy" is, to me personally, conflicted with your idea of the interbeing. What I've come to understand is that matriarchy is very much aligned with your vision of interbeing; a collective society of care where everyone takes a part. Patriarchy defines a structure of oppression and hierarchy, no matter who is the ruling gender identitety, be it of man, woman or other gender: it is a separation from the other. The nurturing mother is part of "the feminine" and this role can be achieved by men if we change our relation to the emotional labor. If we are interbeing the actual care that is beyond proving the milk should not be "naturally" be appointed to feminine. I get that the binary terms such as patriarchy and feminism both have binary names. In gender studies (that has evolved it's name from women's studies) a lot of emphasis has been put in both, the essentialisation of gender, via politics of difference, by authors like Julia Kristeva, Luce Irigaray and Helene Cixous, and the relational character of gender, as a discursive formation. This can been seen in de Beavoirs work in her views on lesbians love as "relational and equal love" and in Judith Butlers aspect of perfomativity in gender. .There are also a lot of interesting work also done in empiric and philosophical study of the masculine done by, for example, by authors like Michael Kimmel and Raewyn Connell who've been forming the wording of "hegemonic manhood" and mapping the violent hierarchal manhoods that govern feminine bodies and expressions. One can read these authors in a a way (one might say from a man's point of view) and see them as studies that requires some war-like binary opposition. What I've come to realise is that most of gender studies focus on exactly of creating a more just and gentler world by pointing out that the "feminine" is widely othered from the "natural" position of the "masculine". We might find a lot of insights of manhood as a non-violent force from non-binary and trans men, the queer and indigenous cultures involved in multitudes of gender.
Wow! Thank you for waking me up to the masculine wound that occurred during the witch trials. I hadn't understood/remembered those wounds. Profound. Thank you for helping me access another level/layer of healing.
Wow, inspiring... What do we want to do? Do we want to be right? Do we want to enjoy the social dominance that comes with being the victim? Or do you want to heal, heal the world? Once again, not picking sides... seeing the damage we are inflicting on ourselves. I can imagine many in both sides of the victim Olympics will not want to hear this. Truth lies between Jordan Peterson and antifa, "men's rights" and the #metoo scapegoating that sometimes happened, etc.
HMMMMmm! There are an awful lot of disclaimers and exceptions, A LOT, too many to ignore. And these exceptions are increasing as people have more freedom to be who they feel they are. Having had a child, I feel so deeply the force of gender difference and construction. There is no doubt in my mind, and heart, that we bring girls and boys up very differently right from the time they are in the womb and even before. This is conditioning at its most subtle and most complex, since gender differences have been imposed for as long as we can remember. And this conditioning affects men just as much as women, perhaps that is why many are now seeking a positive notion of "masculinity" and what it means to be "a man!" etc. I'm not to sure the discussion about gender separation and difference is helpful as it still holds onto the idea that men should behave one way and women another and anything else is just an exception or a deviation. Many of the "archetypal wounds" have been inflicted by partners, fathers and sons onto their own mothers and daughters or at least stood in support of it and profited from their dominance, to the point where it has even been inshrined in law and institutions like marriage. So strong is the cultural /social conditioning that even mothers will inflict pain onto their own daughters (from Footbinding and FGM as the more obvious examples, to the more subtle examples like allowing them less physical freedoms) for what they believe is for their own daughters good. I still wanna a heal the world and I think in order to do that we also need to look at the way we raise our children and why, as well as our expectations on them and how gender differences are encouraged and perpetuated in society and culture, often to the detriment of both sexes and everybody in-between.
Hi Charles. Being different doesn't mean one is better than the other. Neither man nor woman / masculine nor feminine is of higher value. But they do exist, both, and they are a little different (is my opinion)
@@JesusC375 I do not need to trust in Jesus or believe in anything to know my worth. My relationship with God is none of your business. Your 'christian' message falls on deaf ears in America because we are no longer a predominantly Christian country. Immigrants bring their own religion, their own God.
Eh, this is all old news. Look to Daoism if you want the answers to questions about gender, it's only been the relatively new emergence of postmodern gender theory and intersectionality horseshit that's made gender such a hotbutton issue.
Agreed! The discussion of how both genders are discriminated against (in subtle or in obvious ways) is an important issue I think society has been dealing with constructively over a long period of time. But intersectionality/gender theory is just pseudo intellectual navel gazing... ineffective at improving things in the real world, impractical, and I think it's obvious it's become a divisive tool of the radical left - which I'm ashamed to have seen come into existence.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject but found it painful to watch you struggle. Maybe tape notes on what you want to say under the camera?
Melody Prosser I don’t hear despair, I hear "trying to find just words concerning a delicate yet important reality". And if there is struggle, well it is certainly relevant to witness. There is struggle in the world, it’s part of the process of healing, so it is a good thing it is perceived, and welcomed.
Struggle seems ill fit... thoughtful and considerate might be more appropriate. And to turn this into a script would be like a polished stone on the mantle replacing natural beauty and biodiversity.
I think you're missing the point. The striking beauty of Charles is his willingness to show his struggle with the way the world is and in the moment we are watching, attempt to find the most fair, authentic and sensitive words to describe concepts that are often very difficult to articulate without being reductive. Charles, never script your words - your authenticity strikes through and is incredibly touching! Thanks
to practice a little blunt honesty here Charles: i respect you greatly and agree with every word you said, but i feel you are not the best mouthpiece for this message and i think the timing is off. I take full responsibility for this opinion. I think it would best be left to others to say, later in our crisis. if there is something I am unconscious of in my resistance to this, I would welcome the insight of feedback
Hi Lynn! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I disagree though and would like to explain why. I think that Charles' words and insights are a bright light amidst so much noise in this world that perpetuates aggression and violence - and I think it is so important for men to have men like Charles to relate to. I wonder why it can't be that Charles shares this message as well as others (whoever you deem to be the better mouthpieces for this message). I think the timing is spot on personally as we desperately need to start coming together in mindful, thoughtful, and compassionate ways.
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A poem by Rishima that came to mind as I listened to Charles ~
“I believe in sensitive and kind men.
I believe in the mystical men who believe in themselves.
I believe in men who seek temperance and peace inside them.
I believe in men poets, dreamers, magicians, writers, alchemists, artists, teachers, and angels.
I believe in men who like to dance and sing and make life a celebration.
I believe in men who embrace their wounded inner child, listen to him and embrace him true.
I believe in men who want to heal and help others to heal.
I believe in men who refuse to be slaves to their own wound and that despite the pain, they clean it and heal it patiently, with love and courage.
I believe in men who come from the stars and remember the power of their wings, the power of their hands and the power of their heart.
I believe in men who know of intuition and use it as their compass.
I believe in men who share freedom because they are free and do not know another way to live.
I believe in the men protective of women's energy, who know how to read the look of their beloved and who do not intend to change it, simply accompany it wisely on their flight.
I believe in full men who don't need anything from outside because they already know that everything has it inside.
I believe in men who make fire when they are cold, that take refuge in water when they are thirsty.
I believe in men with truthful eyes they see themselves and that's why they love and respect every creature that exists on earth.
I believe in men, perfectly imperfect, because it is in that imperfection is where they also find their beauty.
I believe in sensitive men who know how to receive and give love in balance, who listen and who also speak, those who live and let them live.
I believe in men who live sexuality as sacred, because they know that it is a wonderful gift.
I believe in men with clear feelings, which are accessible.
I believe in men who walk barefoot and speak to the plants.
I believe in the tender and wild men at the same time.
I believe in the sacred male and in all the divinity they have stood.”
FeralThought you can always walk away. It may not be easy, but few things worth doing ever are. Start with a news sabbatical and see where that leads next.
This touched me deeply, raising a sensitive, compassionate, introverted teenage son. I so want him to experience the fullness of healthy masculinity. I see him experience the pain of its toxicity in our culture. I consider myself a feminist who loves her brilliant beautiful son more than life itself. I can see the injury that his growing knowledge of patriarchy is doing to his heart and it causes me sadness. But I also see him celebrating the authenticity of himself without the toxic masculinity with which he does not identify. Thank you for this topic.
@@farhiyadirir8497 I can only imagine how those types of relationships could be extremely painful. My heart goes out to anyone who has been injured by them. Hurt creates more hurt it seems and then the injured often inflict pain on more people. Seeking healing and growing in self compassion and then empathy and compassion towards others and all living things can help us all.
@@farhiyadirir8497 I was raised by an abusive narscistic mother who was raised by an alcoholic physically abusive mother who was raised by an immigrant survivor of WWII. All father's we're absent. I know that toxicity of mothers first hand. All I could do was seek my own life long healing in therapy and not become the same as my abusers. I had to find forgiveness. By the way, I am not a expert about the toxicity of complex relationships (masculine or feminine) I was just commenting on Charles talk and how it made me think of my son.. I am just a mother who loves her healthy boysterous masculine teenage son, who himself is saddened by some of the mysogyny by his teenage peers and media. I was just commenting on how men also have suffered from the pressure to be a tough "man" and not respect women. Boys actually have to be almost bullied into hearing "don't be like a girl" as that is a bad thing. I am so thankful that my amazing son can discover his true self, love himself the way he is, and express his spectrum of masculinity, not caring what others think.
Men haven't suffered more than women. Man's brutality to women, children, the earth, and each other needs to be cured. When they gain the courage to look at themselves we might have a chance to save civilization.
Hey wow, thank you as always for sharing such valuable insights with the world. I've just recently begun to consciously walk the path of healing. I had no clear idea what to heal or how to heal, but felt somethings completely off when I returned home after almost 3 years of seeing the world. You give so much clarity to essential concerns of our time that I wish to spread. I feel understood, I feel supported and inspired. Since my teenages I've been longing for a healthy man as role-model or mentor to reflect my own masculine being. There were a few, but right now I feel endlessly grateful to hear you speak from the heart, to have an idea of qualities I wish to integrate in my being. Thanks for walking ahead and by our side, you are precious, you are loved!
Well said Charles, you took this topic straight down the Center, which is the needed approach. A big part of healing is restoring balance.
EVERYONE needs to hear this! Charles - so beautifully and sensitively put as always! Thank you. Please title your videos in a way that more people will see them! They are important to hear widely!
A view of this subject that I have found to bring the best clarification of masculine and feminine is that both have positive and negative poles and where we are on that scale is where we are as a society. Our society has been dominated by the negative male energy for centuries with a mirror response from the negative female energy. Our goal as a society and culture it to move both genders toward a balance of negative/positive energy with both genders being equal to each other in all things.
Very good talk! Do you have a link to the Navajo talk? I would very much like to read and/or watch it, as I am fascinated by gender, and what it means to be a woman, a man, or another gender.
I'm reading your book and have had lot of inspiration from it. I see a lot of your work has similarities with the feminist discourse of the binary opposition: it's not saying that there should not be categories but there is a multitude of expressions. The idea you are talking here in your video, that the patriarchy could some how be able to form to an "healthy patriarchy" is, to me personally, conflicted with your idea of the interbeing. What I've come to understand is that matriarchy is very much aligned with your vision of interbeing; a collective society of care where everyone takes a part. Patriarchy defines a structure of oppression and hierarchy, no matter who is the ruling gender identitety, be it of man, woman or other gender: it is a separation from the other. The nurturing mother is part of "the feminine" and this role can be achieved by men if we change our relation to the emotional labor. If we are interbeing the actual care that is beyond proving the milk should not be "naturally" be appointed to feminine.
I get that the binary terms such as patriarchy and feminism both have binary names. In gender studies (that has evolved it's name from women's studies) a lot of emphasis has been put in both, the essentialisation of gender, via politics of difference, by authors like Julia Kristeva, Luce Irigaray and Helene Cixous, and the relational character of gender, as a discursive formation. This can been seen in de Beavoirs work in her views on lesbians love as "relational and equal love" and in Judith Butlers aspect of perfomativity in gender. .There are also a lot of interesting work also done in empiric and philosophical study of the masculine done by, for example, by authors like Michael Kimmel and Raewyn Connell who've been forming the wording of "hegemonic manhood" and mapping the violent hierarchal manhoods that govern feminine bodies and expressions. One can read these authors in a a way (one might say from a man's point of view) and see them as studies that requires some war-like binary opposition. What I've come to realise is that most of gender studies focus on exactly of creating a more just and gentler world by pointing out that the "feminine" is widely othered from the "natural" position of the "masculine". We might find a lot of insights of manhood as a non-violent force from non-binary and trans men, the queer and indigenous cultures involved in multitudes of gender.
I'm so grateful that this trauma is now being explored.
Wow! Thank you for waking me up to the masculine wound that occurred during the witch trials. I hadn't understood/remembered those wounds. Profound. Thank you for helping me access another level/layer of healing.
Last 4 minutes might be the most powerful discourse on masculinity I’ve ever heard…
what I really want to know is how does Charles look so young for his age (53)
kkman40 Jonathan probably looks young for his age because of his views! ie not constantly looking to put women down!
Powerful.
Powerful. Thank you!
Wow, inspiring...
What do we want to do? Do we want to be right? Do we want to enjoy the social dominance that comes with being the victim? Or do you want to heal, heal the world?
Once again, not picking sides... seeing the damage we are inflicting on ourselves. I can imagine many in both sides of the victim Olympics will not want to hear this. Truth lies between Jordan Peterson and antifa, "men's rights" and the #metoo scapegoating that sometimes happened, etc.
So patriarchy is an institution like the police or the military ? I don't understand
it’s seems to be a psych-evo phenomenon
Heard!
Love these talks.
Thank you Charles.
HMMMMmm! There are an awful lot of disclaimers and exceptions, A LOT, too many to ignore. And these exceptions are increasing as people have more freedom to be who they feel they are. Having had a child, I feel so deeply the force of gender difference and construction. There is no doubt in my mind, and heart, that we bring girls and boys up very differently right from the time they are in the womb and even before. This is conditioning at its most subtle and most complex, since gender differences have been imposed for as long as we can remember. And this conditioning affects men just as much as women, perhaps that is why many are now seeking a positive notion of "masculinity" and what it means to be "a man!" etc. I'm not to sure the discussion about gender separation and difference is helpful as it still holds onto the idea that men should behave one way and women another and anything else is just an exception or a deviation.
Many of the "archetypal wounds" have been inflicted by partners, fathers and sons onto their own mothers and daughters or at least stood in support of it and profited from their dominance, to the point where it has even been inshrined in law and institutions like marriage. So strong is the cultural /social conditioning that even mothers will inflict pain onto their own daughters (from Footbinding and FGM as the more obvious examples, to the more subtle examples like allowing them less physical freedoms) for what they believe is for their own daughters good. I still wanna a heal the world and I think in order to do that we also need to look at the way we raise our children and why, as well as our expectations on them and how gender differences are encouraged and perpetuated in society and culture, often to the detriment of both sexes and everybody in-between.
Hi Charles. Being different doesn't mean one is better than the other. Neither man nor woman / masculine nor feminine is of higher value. But they do exist, both, and they are a little different (is my opinion)
Right on Charles! Thank you for saying it! 🤣🤗🌏😇
Thank you for this video!
How can men be more hurt when they're still the ones ruling so much in their energy alone and what the world even looks like sigh..
Amen, Aameen...
We should look into our animal nature
Toxic Patriarchy....Sorry dude, I am out of here.
We have always lived in a hierarchy.
@@JesusC375 I do not need to trust in Jesus or believe in anything to know my worth. My relationship with God is none of your business. Your 'christian' message falls on deaf ears in America because we are no longer a predominantly Christian country. Immigrants bring their own religion, their own God.
Talk about gynocentrism.
Eh, this is all old news. Look to Daoism if you want the answers to questions about gender, it's only been the relatively new emergence of postmodern gender theory and intersectionality horseshit that's made gender such a hotbutton issue.
please share with us the wisdom of the Dao...
Agreed! The discussion of how both genders are discriminated against (in subtle or in obvious ways) is an important issue I think society has been dealing with constructively over a long period of time. But intersectionality/gender theory is just pseudo intellectual navel gazing... ineffective at improving things in the real world, impractical, and I think it's obvious it's become a divisive tool of the radical left - which I'm ashamed to have seen come into existence.
As mentioned in the video, it's part of a process. There are real things that need to be acknowledged / cleared before jumping ahead.
Jonathan Cross yup! that’s what humanity is attempting to do. 👍
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject but found it painful to watch you struggle. Maybe tape notes on what you want to say under the camera?
Melody Prosser I don’t hear despair, I hear "trying to find just words concerning a delicate yet important reality". And if there is struggle, well it is certainly relevant to witness. There is struggle in the world, it’s part of the process of healing, so it is a good thing it is perceived, and welcomed.
Struggle seems ill fit... thoughtful and considerate might be more appropriate. And to turn this into a script would be like a polished stone on the mantle replacing natural beauty and biodiversity.
You've been watching too much scripted shit. Time to deprogram.
I just see a beautiful mind at work!
I think you're missing the point. The striking beauty of Charles is his willingness to show his struggle with the way the world is and in the moment we are watching, attempt to find the most fair, authentic and sensitive words to describe concepts that are often very difficult to articulate without being reductive. Charles, never script your words - your authenticity strikes through and is incredibly touching! Thanks
Many women don't need the patriarchy to objectify them, they do it quite well on their own.
to practice a little blunt honesty here Charles: i respect you greatly and agree with every word you said, but i feel you are not the best mouthpiece for this message and i think the timing is off. I take full responsibility for this opinion. I think it would best be left to others to say, later in our crisis. if there is something I am unconscious of in my resistance to this, I would welcome the insight of feedback
Hi Lynn! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I disagree though and would like to explain why. I think that Charles' words and insights are a bright light amidst so much noise in this world that perpetuates aggression and violence - and I think it is so important for men to have men like Charles to relate to. I wonder why it can't be that Charles shares this message as well as others (whoever you deem to be the better mouthpieces for this message). I think the timing is spot on personally as we desperately need to start coming together in mindful, thoughtful, and compassionate ways.
Seed planting for possible future discussions.
This is a crazy cult you are promoting. I have no idea why Google recommended this video to me.